How about Spectacularly Shaker?

So, in an attempt to break my brain of this anxious state I am in at the moment (though a decision (and I already know what it is) will be forthcoming soon), long time friend of the blog Foodie decided to take me out for coffee. Across the street from the coffee shop was a store that has intrigued me for months now. It is called, Simply Amish.

First off, I have always wondered what other naming possibilities there are for that store. Extravagantly Amish has a really nice ring to it. Decadently Amish brings up some interesting images. I Can’t Believe It’s Amish is probably a little too long for a store. All in all though, what else are you going to name a store that includes the word Amish in it.

We decided to go in and I have to say that it brightened up my day. Not due to what they sold, which was hand crafted furniture that I have to say looked incredibly nice. Lots of nice solid wood tables and chairs and a few wood with glass inlays that would look awesome in my apartment if I decided to change up the style a little bit. While it was nice to browse that is not what made me smile. The following just made my day.

I always wondered how did they run an Amish store. Did they have electricity? Did they have a credit card machine or was everything just in cash. Well the answer to both of those questions was yes and I guess I can’t say that surprised me. The rather sizable computer on the sales persons desk was rather conspicuous but understandable. However, the purpose of the thirty inch flat screen monitor posted in the dead center of the store baffles me.

Seriously, the first thing I saw when I walked into the store was the flat screen and you know, when I think Amish, I think liquid crystal technology. It was just so out of place and disconcerting. I understood the fake flat screens they showed in some of the entertainment cabinets. You need those to give customers a sense of perspective. But this massive piece of electronics in a store dedicated to craftsmanship by people who shun technology was so disruptive that it made by day. I love seeing life be so incongruous.

I think I am slowly getting back to being myself and breaking out of this weird state of mind that I am in. It’s just the way that I deal with anxiety and stress. In those situations I really turn inward, which tends to make things worse until I decide to take some degree of action. I have and now that I have steps and milestones in front of me I can work on completing the tasks on my to do list. Plus, sometimes I just need to take time off and do nothing but ponder. My brain works in strange ways (as my dreams indicate) but I know that if I give it time and if I occasionally go out and have a few laughs everything will work out.

Wednesday Night Music Club: I think that I have been searching for this video ever since I started this feature. If you ever want to know what it is like when I am in one of these moods the phrase “I feel as if I am looking at the world from the bottom of a well” comes to mind. The song is by Mike Doughty, who is one of my favorites, and the phrase is from the book “The Wind Up Bird Chronicle”, which I have spent four months trying to read and have yet to get past page fifty.

A meaningful dream

So I guess it is no surprise to anyone that my anxiety levels are through the roof right now. It is kind of amazing when I get this stressed. I sleep poorly, eat badly and when I do eat I find myself having microwaved pancakes at two in the afternoon. I have no idea why that is always the case. Apparently I find that pancakes are the cure to my anxiety. Serves about as good of a purpose as the medication I take for it to begin with.

Anyway, so with this much stress going through me it was expected that my stress dream would return. It was the same one that it always was; I am in school (high school this time around) faced with tests or papers that I haven’t prepared for in the least. Typically the test is in a day or two and I simply haven’t prepared. Last night was a first though. The chemistry test was sitting on the desk in front of me and I had not studied in the least.

Now let’s analyze that part. How apropos is that development? To show that I am at a point in my life where I need to make a decision the dream test is no longer a theoretical test in the future (where I know that with an hour or two of prep I could make a good showing). It is now sitting there in front of me and I have to answer it. I have to take pencil to paper and face the unknown.

So how did I address the situation in my dream? Well, here is where it gets freaky. See, there were two parts of me in the dream. There was my dream self (who was twelve years old for some reason that maybe Freud could explain) and then my real self. My dream self acted first and simply handed in the test blank. My real self saw the flaw in that and (after merging with my dream self. Again, it was pretty freaky) went up to the teacher, said I just lost it for the moment and go the paper back. Then I started to work on it only to notice that my calculator wasn’t working.

What does this mean? Well, maybe handing in a test blank is a sign of my inability to make a decision. Part of me would rather hand in the test and avoid the decision and take failure over the challenge of the unknown. But my rational side knows that is wrong and will risk embarrassment to try to do my best in any situation. My broken calculator has two very simple explanations. The first is that I am missing a few key pieces of information in my decision and I find it impossible to make a good decision until I have those pieces (emphasized by the fact that my calculator was actually missing keys). The other reason is that in reality the batteries have died on my HP calculator and I should probably get that fixed.

How does the dream end? How does one finish a chemistry test without a calculator? I came up with a pretty simple and ingenious solution. I showed all the work without making a single calculation and then stated that it was my religious belief that certain problems just cannot be solved on paper. Valid answer, right?

That might be the best explanation of where I stand right now. I have reached a decision point but my calculator is missing keys and I’m not nearly as prepared as I would like to be. But at some point I am going to do my best and hope that whoever is running the show guides me in the right direction. Maybe if I have my mind set in that way my anxiety will lessen, I will get some sleep, and return to being me for a change.

Could use a talking pie...

Job Search Update: I now have my offer in writing, which means that I can discuss it without as much fear of jinxing it. Of course, I am unsure as to whether the potential employer is aware of this blog so I’ll still have to keep things a little vague at the moment. Here is the big point about the job. The office is in Kennett Square, Pennsylvania. For those who have no idea where that is (which I assume is pretty much everyone) that is roughly 43 miles (or an hour commute) from Philadelphia and 13 miles (or a 30 minute commute) from lovely Wilmington, Delaware. If I happen to have any blog readers from that area please feel free to let me know what you think of the area. I’m at a bit of a loss myself.

Though after seeing the ad for the following I am beginning to wonder why I am not heading out to Hollywood to make my living as a screenwriter. Yes, in a few weeks we will have a new number one film in America with “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2”. They made a sequel to the original. That is one of the most insane things I have ever even comprehended. Not only did Hollywood decide to make a film about a magical pair of jeans that improves the lives of four very different but yet oh so similar teenage females but it was decided that a two hour feature was not enough time to fully tell the story of Merlin’s denim. If that sells in Hollywood I know that I could crank out a few scripts in a weekend that could be made.

(I also saw an ad for Starship Troopers 3, available on DVD this week. Given that I don’t recall Starship Troopers 2 (and barely remember Starship Troopers 1) I really do not have high hopes for that flick.)

I hate to admit it but today has been a bit of a blah day for me. When I am back working for a living I am going to look at days like today and wonder just what the hell I was doing. Sure, sleeping in and just lounging on the couch is nice and all but I could be a little more productive with my time off. I guess I am still just trying to adjust to the fact that my time in this part of the country might be over and I will soon be packing up and moving to a new corner of the world. That is not exactly an easy thing for me to deal with and apparently my default coping mechanism is to lie on the couch and hope that everything fixes itself while I’m not looking. Surprisingly, this is how I deal with every breakup as well. Strange, isn’t it?

I’m guessing that tomorrow is going to be a better day. I just think I need to get to sleep at a regular hour and then get up, have breakfast and make an effort to have a regular day. I think I have had a combination of very late nights and too much time spent in my own head the past few days. Once I break that habit and make a decision on my future things will begin to move in the right direction. Or at least I will have a timetable to work from. Having dates on a calendar that I will have to deal with will be of great help.

Facing the unknown

I’ve been in a very strange mood these past few days. I guess it is understandable. I have a very big decision weighing on my mind and my emotions are going to suffer as a result. I have gone from happy and joyous when I first received the job offer to now being a bit apprehensive and, to be honest, scared.

It has nothing to do with the job itself. The position is actually the one that I went to business school for. When I started school and they had me write out what I wanted to do once I graduated it matched precisely what I have been offered a chance to do. I never really intended to work in the mobile industry or live in Kansas City. Events beyond my control conspired to move me out of energy and I just kind of ended up here. Pretty much every aspect of the job offer meets or exceeds my goals.

So what is really bothering me? I’d have to move to a city where I know no one and that is more than a little scary. Now I know that I have spent a lot of time, including the entire history of the blog, making fun of Kansas City but I have finally gathered a network of great friends in this town. Leaving them behind would be extremely difficult. It really has been only in the past few months that I’ve noticed how amazing the people I have around me really are. I know that leaving might be the right decision and that most likely my dreams are not waiting for me in this town but it still will be a bit of a challenge. But ever since I said I was leaving my job I knew that moving was on the table.

I just think that this weekend it dawned on me the magnitude of moving to a new place. I would literally know no one and not even have an understanding of the street layout. It would be a complete clean slate for me. On one hand this would be an amazing opportunity. I could relaunch myself as an entirely new person and remove the qualities that I dislike about myself. Sometimes a fresh start is what you need. But knowing there will be lonely nights ahead, times when I do not have a friend to turn to, is scary. I have friends around the world to turn to and they are unbelievable. It is just sometimes you wish you had someone who you could call up and have coffee with on a moments notice.

I know that these fears are common. It is stepping into the unknown and losing my usual routine, which really bothers my obsessive personality. But maybe by facing these fears I’ll become the person that I want to be. Maybe by starting the second half of my thirties with a blank page in front of me is exactly what I need to do. It will be a challenge and an adventure but I still feel that I have at least one grand adventure left in me. This might be the one to take.

I still haven’t made a decision yet. I actually don’t even have a written offer yet (details are still pending). But I am pondering. Things will be moving quick soon.

Best of 120 Minutes: “Someone tell me why I act like a fool when things don’t go my way.” This is easily my favorite Guided by Voices song. It is incredibly simple and relatively short. That is what I love about music; you don’t need to do something epic in order to succeed. Sometimes a simple three minute song is all you need.



The five random CDs for the week:
1) Scott Miller and the Commonwealth “Reconstruction”
2) Ryan Adams “Gold”
3) Freakwater “Old Paint”
4) Old 97s “Alive and Wired”
5) The Subdudes “Street Symphony”

80's Weekend Rewind #2

Your 80’s weekend rewind, slightly delayed because I kind of forgot to post it this afternoon.

In honor of the Olympics here is the Asia classic “Only Time Will Tell”. Exactly why a gymnast is featured in the video has never been made clear. I don’t believe that anyone upon first hearing this song would immediately think “this song could be greatly improved by a tumbling routine.” It is not as though it is in time to the music or anything. Sure it is probably on beat but there is no dramatic impact.

Also, I would like to use this video as an indication of what it was like pre flat screens and digital cable. That is what a high quality television set looked like in the early 80’s. Very large boxes where the right hand portion of the box is taken up with analog dials for channel selection. Yes this is when you had a VHF and UHF selector and heaven help you if you lost the knob with the channels on it. I literally had to use pliers to change the channels on one of my sets growing up.

And as much as I would like to make fun of Asia I really can’t. As a kid I just loved their songs. And sure it is cheesy and overly synthed but it is still a great song to listen to. Basically no different than listening to Keane today. Consider that a positive thing. Anyone that makes a song that lasts 25 years has done something right.

Searching for Orange Julius

Author’s Note: Since I mentioned it on my Facebook page I guess I should allude to it here. Yes, I did receive a job offer today. It was a verbal offer but I should have it in writing rather soon. I’ll give more details as more details are confirmed but the position is an extremely good fit for me and the details so far have matched what I’ve wanted them to be. Nothing is a certainty yet, and there are still a handful of factors that I need to take into consideration, but it does look like my job search is nearing the final stretch. Which is nice given that the severance pay is about to run out. Much more on this as I figure things out.

(Oh and of course you can be my Facebook friend. You just have to know my real name, that is all. Though apparently not too many people know that one given the select group of people who appear as my friends.)

I’m struggling for a topic (mainly because I do fear jinxing an offer before having it in my hands) so I guess I’ll write about going to the mall this morning. Yes, I ventured out to the mall even though I could do essentially all of my shopping on the Plaza. There are just some things though that you need to go to a mall to obtain. Plus it is always good to check out Spencers and see how they have rebranded it. (Seriously, is there any other store that you are more amazed to still see in business. Twenty plus years of selling things to horny teenagers who are attempting to be cool.)

My tasks were rather simple. Pick up some new cologne since I was running low and wanted to try out something different. Picked up a few more t-shirts as I have reached the point in my life where wearing a t-shirt promoting any school, movie, or alcoholic beverage is no longer tolerated. I still need to really pare down my wardrobe and take one good look at what I have and what I need. More like what I should get rid of as I haven’t worn it in the past decade. I’m a pack rat, I’ll admit it. I don’t know why I have kept t-shirts from high school I just have. I’d like to claim sentimental value but I think it falls more in the range of having enough closet space to handle them.

I think it is a little strange how the mall changes as you get older. As a teenager it really is a multiple hour adventure. You want to check out every store and see if you might run into someone you know. I wasn’t a mallrat but I at least liked going into stores and looking and wasting what little money I actually had. Now it is really an organized experience for me. Go in, hit the three stores I am intending to hit, shake my head at the fact that there are stores that due to my age I can’t even think of shopping in (no more Hot Topic for me) and going on my way. That is one of the bummers of being old; you lose those spaces that are your own. It’s like wishing that staying up late would be cool again. I can still remember the thrill I had as an eleven year old staying up late to watch Carson. Now I can close a bar and it is no big deal. Hopefully I’ll be able to regain some of that exuberance once more.

Thoughts from the corners of my mind

My subconscious taught me a rather interesting lesson last night. As I have mentioned before I have been having these incredibly vivid dreams for the past two weeks at least. Just strange, out of this world dreams where I am transported to places I have already been but only in my dreams. Last night was another case where as part of some strange religious retreat I was in this run down monastery type building. Except most retreats I’ve been involved with do not involve secret passages and one person being attacked by a wolf. Though to be honest that would at least make those things a little more interesting.

What made me wake up and go “Whoa” was a conversation that took place in the dream. I had gone off by myself, separate from the main group who were all having fun (wolf maulings aside). When we all got back together I went into my usual self-loathing rant about how I’m always alone and how people don’t warm up to me and how I always have to make my own way through the world. As this rant was going on someone, and I’m not sure who in my life this represents, yelled at me “Chris you are only happy when you are competing and someone is keeping score. Life isn’t like that.”

That is a pretty specific statement that some portion of my brain unleashed on me early this morning. First off, setting aside the dream was pretty indicative of the way I live. Even in big groups I tend to go off by myself. I just don’t gain friends very easily and if you put me with a group of strangers I tend to float off to the edges. And while I don’t know where that sentence came from I think it is true that competition is what drives me.

In certain instances that has been a very beneficial thing. Obviously it made school much easier than it might otherwise have been. While I still say it wasn’t my goal to be the best student in a class it was certainly my goal to do my best and I celebrated when that resulted in my besting all the other efforts. You can go places in a work environment when challenging yourself to do better than the person in the next cube is one of the things that you do to keep your sanity. But from a social standpoint that is not entirely a good thing.

Maybe it means something that most of the friends that I have made the past few years have come from playing trivia, a place where keeping score is part of the whole experience. I think that is one of the biggest problems in my life. I always try to put metrics or terms like best on situations where they really don’t apply. It’s like whenever someone breaks up with me. My reaction is less to cry and wonder what might have been but more of a post game film breakdown. I run through the scenarios and go “Hmmm, I bet if I bought dinner I would have won.” And I use that term of winning. I’ve joked that all relationships can be explained using football metaphors but sometimes I think I take it too far. Sometimes things just happen.

I don’t know if it is my competitive nature that keeps me aloof and always separate from the crowd. Maybe I just like giving myself the challenge of taking on the world alone. Maybe I’m just scared of showing the world who I really am on the chance that who I am really isn’t much of anything. I hope there is a happy medium out there for me to reach. Your dreams tell you what you are really wondering and last night made me wonder about who I truly am. Maybe I’m not as perfect as I think.

Wednesday Night Music Club: Sometimes I wonder if I was born decades too late. Mainly when I listen to acts like The Be Good Tanyas. I love this music. Sure it is old timey but it is beautiful all the same.

Too many random notes...

Random Note # 1: I am stunned by the news story out of Rhode Island about the guy who was picked up for drunk driving. According to police he blew a 0.491 on the breathalyzer. At that point the question is not whether or not he should be behind the wheel of a piece of heavy machinery. The question is how in the world is that guy still breathing? Hell, at that point not only should you not be driving but you should not be able to figure out how to sit down in the car and start the engine. We used to joke about needing to put a little more blood in the alcohol stream but in this case it is actually true.

Random Note # 2: Here is a definition of a slow news day. Estelle Getty dying made the top headlines of every news site that I visited today. All of them made reference to The Golden Girls. Personally I would have been much happier if the headline read, “Star of ‘Stop or my Mom will Shoot’ passes away.” If only to see how many Stallone rumors would be started as a result.

Random Note # 3: No, I do not have to worry about any of my local Starbucks disappearing. Actually, the Westport one closed months ago while all of the local independent stores are still up and running, which was a nice sight to see. In fact, all of the Starbucks that I attend (where I go to the counter and just go “will you just give me a freaking large decaf please?”) are still in operation. Since it is summer my coffee consumption is down significantly. Hot beverages in triple digit heat just don’t go together well. However, I will tell you what I think is the biggest benefit of the job near Philly I interviewed for: there is a Dunkin Donuts three blocks from the office. Seriously, I’ve been jonesing for Dunkin Donuts for five years now.

Random Note # 4: If anyone comes across any dating tip lists online (like the ones that Yahoo and CNN seem to be publishing daily) please send me a link. Not that I need the tips for my own personal use. (Ok I do but at the present moment I am content to continue to fumble around blindly until I either find the perfect girl or a slightly less than perfect girl who views me as a rebuilding project.) I’m working on a future idea for the blog and could use some of those lists as a starting point.

Random Note # 5: Like most of you I spent much of the day in celebration of Pi Approximation Day. What, are you telling me that July 22 (or 22/7 in European form) is not a major celebration in your household? True, March 14 is the typical Pi Day celebration but I feel a special kinship to Pi Approximation Day. I mean we are honoring the “Oh well, that’s close enough” view of mathematics. Sure, you’re not technically correct but it is close enough for government work. It is on days like today when we remember that estimates are good enough.

Dust and boredom

To give a sense of the fun filled, action packed lifestyle that I am currently leading I spent most of the evening cleaning my apartment. And when I say cleaning I mean actually cleaning. This goes beyond vacuuming, something I should do much more often than I actually do. No, tonight I even dusted my coffee table. This is one of those events that happens roughly once a year. I spend a good month looking at the books, realizing there is a nice layer of filth built up upon them and then I spend another month hoping that the cleaning elves will appear and take care of the entire situation. Of course at some point I break down and do it myself. Still better than last night, which featured more laundry than I would care to admit.

I guess that is another one of the strange things about being unemployed; your entire schedule is put out of whack. Now when I worked I would never put this much effort into cleaning on a Monday. I’d be tired from work and would just spend the night crashed out on my couch. By now I’d be already in bed. But since I have nowhere to go tomorrow, lots of things to do but nowhere in particular to do them, I really can spend the night doing whatever it is that I want. Sometimes that means mucho enjoyment for myself. At other times it is a case of working in the evening because I slept in this morning.

Maybe that is as simple an explanation of what my life has been life recently. The events that had been making my life unbelievably interesting (which weren’t discussed much here because doing so would violate the Battling the Current bylaws) have subsided and I am really into job search drudgery. Wake up, spend time online, send out resumes, have the occasional interview and hope to hear positive news. It’s too damn hot to do much of anything outside and since everyone I know is working I don’t have too many people to bum around with during the day. I really shouldn’t complain as I am still getting paid to sit around but I am nearing the point where I need something to happen.

I think that is what has been bothering me the most these past few weeks. My life has really fallen into a state of limbo and it is bugging me to no end. I don’t want to get started on anything big in town (from personal relationships to starting a jigsaw puzzle) because I simply don’t know how long I’ll be here. But I can only stay in that state for so long. I am someone who needs a routine and tasks and goals. Living an open ended life is fun for a little while but right now I need checklists and targets. I at least need to move from a month to month existence. That just bothers me. I already have a hankering to settle down in life; now I’m even farther from that point.

Still, at least I get to celebrate Pi Approximation day tomorrow. That is always fun for me. I’ll feel better after reciting a few thousand digits.

Dreaming again

I’ve been having a lot of strange dreams lately. And when I say a lot I mean every single night. I’m not at the point of being afraid to go to sleep because of what my mind might whip up while I am in that state but it does make me wonder if I should cut back on the snack food before dinner.

Some of the dreams have been rather straightforward. I once again have found myself dreaming that it is finals week and I am woefully unprepared (and often sans pants). Now this isn’t really that surprising. When I’m stressed I have school and test related dreams. Given my whole job situation and my life being in flux the fact that I am dreaming about failing an important test doesn’t shock me in the least. My lack of pants can be accounted for by one simple fact. I really, really hate pants.

I had another one that, while bizarre, gives a great example as to the connection between your dream state and reality. I was dreaming that I was an astronaut in some insanely bizarre NASA project. Bizarre in the fact that we were essentially going to be launched via slingshot, go tumbling in the air, theoretically latch on to another aircraft and then parachute out of it. Maybe not the best idea in terms of space exploration but it still makes more sense than the International Space Station. Anyway, in the dream I chicken out of the mission because my left shoulder, which I injured over a decade ago and has never healed properly, was giving me all kinds of grief. So I woke up to find myself that the pain I felt in the dream was completely real as I was wincing from the discovery that I had twisted my shoulder in such a way that it wanted to distance itself from the rest of me. Not exactly the best way to wake up.

It is this last dream that bothered me the most. I spent much of the next day trying to figure it out. The dream was simple. I was with some friends and we had all gotten back to town and we were deciding which bar to go to. And I suggested, “Let’s go to that bar over there where I used to be a regular. The one by the train tracks close to The Brick where there are picnic tables outside and that small back bar.” Even though I was dreaming I went, “Wow, I really need to head back there. That place was a lot of fun.” Then I realized that place doesn’t exist.

I spent hours running through every bar that I had ever gone to trying to figure out what I was thinking of. While my dream bar had pieces of other bars to it (i.e. Corby’s did have picnic tables out back, some of the staff I remembered from other bars) it really was entirely invented by me. It dawned on me that I had dreamed of this bar before and could remember some of the dreams that involved this bar. This is rather frightening in a way. It seems as though I have created this entire dream landscape inside my head where there are places that only I know of and my dream bar is one of them. That just seems a little disconcerting to me. Apparently there are more parts to Morpheus’ realm than I am aware of.

Best of 120 Minutes: I think it would be best if we have a nice, mellow start to the week. Here is Bettie Serveert’s “Ray Ray Rain”, which is one of the sweetest songs that I’ve ever heard. It’s like an aural sorbet. Hopefully it will lead us all to a pleasant week.

80's Weekend Rewind #1

And now time for your inaugural 80’s Weekend Rewind, where we here at Battling the Current highlight one of the greatest songs from years gone by. And yes, the fact that these songs will typically be more than 20 years old depresses us mightily. Our first selection is one of the most awesome videos ever. Let’s list the ways, shall we?

1) The song is “In a Big Country” by the band Big Country. Typically albums are self-titled. In this case, it is the song itself that is self-titled. Makes for easy memorization.
2) The video is a ten year old EC’s dream of a James Bond adventure. Riding ATVs! Scuba Diving! Repelling down cliffs! Chasing after a strange and vaguely attractive woman but not having to, you know, have a conversation with her! What else could one want in a video?
3) I still think that the bass player is having more fun on stage than any bass player has the right to have during the concert scenes. Seriously, the guy is smiling and bouncing around. Twenty five years later I still remember the bass player.
4) Not only is the plot of the video completely unfathomable but it seems to have nothing to do with the song, which itself doesn’t make any sense at all. I’m not sure why dreams are supposed to stay with you in a large political division of a geographic entity. I certainly don’t understand why the best group of people to chase after what one assumes is treasure is a pop rock band. Seriously, it is never shown what is in the box they are chasing after. It just seems like the band decided to do a whole bunch of crazy stunts while looking rather dour and serious.
5) This is still one of my favorite songs of all time. Even with that being the case myself and every other music fan who is not directly related to the band is unable to remember anything about this song other than the chorus. Well, maybe I could remember “Growing flowers in the desert” but in all honesty I think they could replace all of the verses with just a repeat of the chorus and no one would mind.

Enjoy the weekend everyone!

Batman and bobbins

Since I know that people will be asking for it I’ll just post it now. Here are my initial opinions on the first episode of Project Runway. First off, does every female contestant have long straight black hair? Now that isn’t really a complaint on my part, since I really dig the look and it pretty much assures that there will be one contestant I like due to her look alone making it deep into the show, but I seriously cannot tell any of them apart. Also, if I have to listen to that douchebag say “girlicious” every freaking episode someone is going to pay big time. I hate people who try to come up with their own catchphrase. It is like giving yourself a nickname, it is just not acceptable. Such as calling yourself Suede. Once I saw that I figured that I should just rename myself Pleather or 90% Rayon.

As to the winners and losers I pretty much agreed. Even someone with as little fashion sense as me realized how horrible Jerry’s outfit was. I mean, it was a white shower curtain on top of more white and had almost no form whatsoever. The yellow gloves also gave it that whole murederous housewife vibe. Kelli’s skirt (made of vacuum cleaner bags and colored with bleach, dye and apparently cigarette burns) turned out rather stunning. On first look I had a Jackson Pollack feel going where you didn’t know if it was going to be art or noise. It came out on the art side and she won as well. Overall, not a strong showing by the cast but it is only the first episode.

(And yes, I obviously admit to watching Project Runway. For some reason I find it a very interesting show. You’ve got cool contestants, since it is fashion everyone can have an opinion on who is better, and I get to watch scantily clad women walk around. Pretty much a win-win all around. Only thing that could beat it is the return of Australia’s Next Top Model, which is the same as America’s Next Top Model except with much cooler accents.)

So the big thing this weekend is the new Batman movie. I doubt that I will go see it this weekend but I will probably check it out during the week (at least that way I’ll be able to avoid some of the crowds). Now while I will always admit to being a Marvel guy more than a DC guy I have to admit that the Batman character is rather cool. In fact, he is probably the least DC like of any of their major heroes and that is what makes him great.

What bothered me most about DC comics as a kid is that their heroes were basically gods. That is what Superman is. He’s just this undestructible force with an inscrupulous moral code. Wonder Woman falls into the same realm. Then you have Green Lantern (the space traveler with a bizarre weakness to the color yellow) and Martian Manhunter (a Martian) and Aquaman (less of a superhero and more of a host of an exhibit at SeaWorld.) Those aren’t heroes you can relate to easily. That is the wonder of Spider Man (who is a bit of a loser teenager) or the X Men (teenage outcasts) and Iron Man (a lovable drunk). I know what that is like.

Batman, on the other hand, is different. Because at the end of the day Batman is entirely human. All he has are his wits and his inventions and his focus. No super powers, no magical gifts, just a man with his flaws taking on evil. That makes for a great character because you can play to his weaknesses. Plus there is the entire fact that he is a vigilante. In fact, he is a lawbreaker. There is the entire ethical dilemma of whether or not Batman is in fact doing the right thing by going outside the law to stop crime. That makes for some heady plots. And it sure sounds like the movie hits on them. Should be a good one to check out.

Bad boys, bad boys...

Wednesday Night Music Club: I’m in a bit of a New Orleans mood at the moment. Less for the music and the food (which I am always in the mood for) but more for the city itself. I just feel a need to make my way back to the city at some point in the near future. Probably when I am close to making a decision on my future. For some reason, I think better while I’m in the French Quarter. I’m probably the only person who can say that. Anyway, this video by The Old Crow Medicine Show really shows what I mean when I talk about the city of New Orleans. Just watching it makes me want to return.

Editor’s Note: I’m pretty sure that starting this week I am going to go back to publishing six days a week. I know I tried that before and failed but this time I have an idea. Mainly I am going to turn Fridays into “Bad 80’s Music Video” days. After hanging out on YouTube I just realized the brilliance that is out there that needs to be shared. Nothing too extravagant, no philosophy hoisted upon the masses, just a bunch of bad videos. Stay tuned.

In an example of everything comes in threes (except when they come in pairs or four packs), I learned about three celebrity arrests today that I need to discuss in detail. The first is the news that the lead singer for the Barenaked Ladies was arrested. Officially it was for cocaine and marijuana possession. Personally I am of the opinion that the cop looked at the car, realized that it was the lead singer for the Barenaked Ladies and decided that was reason enough to arrest him. To be honest, it is probably on the books somewhere that his very existence is a crime. Now the pot charge was to be expected but the cocaine charge was a bit of a surprise. They just never seemed to be a band that would dabble in that stuff. Hell, I’d be surprised if they drank anything stronger than a banana daiquiri.

The second arrest is for Andy Dick who was charged with groping a 17 year old. A 17 year old female, given that we are talking about Andy Dick this is one of those points that should probably be clarified. Now I really do recommend that you go online and find his booking picture because, well, if I was a prosecuting attorney it would be exhibit A. He just has this most disturbed expression on his face. Not a, “wow isn’t this wacky” expression. More along the lines of, well, someone who would grope a 17 year old girl. It almost borders on scary. It’s kind of amazing that he hadn’t been arrested before. Hell, it’s a surprise that he is still alive.

Finally, the best arrest story is that of UFC fighter Quentin “Rampage” Jackson who is having the worst week ever. First he loses his title fight to Forrest Griffin. Then he gets into an accident and flees the scene. Now when trying to evade police one has a number of options at their disposal. Evading in a truck that has your picture on the side of it is not one of the recommended options. In fact, I would put it at the bottom of the list. So the least inconspicuous getaway ever ended with him being arrested by cops with guns drawn. Let this teach a lesson to you kids, never put a picture of yourself on your car. Also, this proves that pro wrestling is superior to UFC because when JBL rams a car into the prone and helpless body of John Cena not only is JBL not arrested but Cena is still scheduled to face him in Sunday’s pay per view.

(Sorry I still can’t get over that one. It was one of the dumbest things that I have seen in, sigh, nearly thirty years of watching pro wrestling.)

How to fight loneliness...

I was trying to figure out why my post last night was so crappy. I finally decided to deconstruct my day to determine just what left me so uninspired at the end of the day. What I found was quite disturbing. Here it is in detail.

Number of times I left my apartment: Two. First to walk to Panera in order to purchase coffee and a bagel. Second to walk out of my apartment to the mailbox to get my mail. (Ok, I don’t really have another reason to go to my mailbox but I felt that the point should be made.)

People chatted with through internet chat: Two, including one multiple hour conversation.

People chatted with over the phone: One, a recruiter who felt a pressing need for me to explain my weaknesses which, other than kryptonite and the color yellow, do not exist.

People chatted with face to face: One if you count the person who took my coffee and bagel order at Panera. I don’t know if “Do you want cream cheese” technically counts as a conversation.

Now first off let me say that I can’t consider yesterday to be a bad day in the least. I accomplished a lot. I sent off nine more job applications and did a really bang up job on my interview. Plus, I had a lot of fun chatting with a friend of mine online and that was easily the highlight of my evening (which says something when wrestling is on). So it was a full and productive day and I even cooked a real dinner. But wow, was it ever lacking in human contact.

That is probably the biggest reason I have behind needing to start working again. Otherwise I just have to deal with the days in which I do not have a single conversation with a person. Sure, chatting online is nice and even phone calls are cool but those are all just digital representations of people. Given enough advancements in technology it will become impossible to tell if the person on the other end is a person or not. And spending even a day without that basic level of interaction is a serious problem for me.

I also think that it will be a growing problem for society in general. One of the big discussion points surrounding gas prices is if this will lead to more telecommuting. It makes sense: saves money, helps the environment and to be honest, I could have done my job from home ninety percent of the time anyway. The thing is our society is not designed for telecommunting. As much as we hate to say it our jobs are our community. They are the people you see and talk to every day. You talk to your coworkers much more than your neighbors. I’m lucky enough to live in an area where I can walk to a coffee shop but out in the suburbs even that is impossible. What I envision in a world of telecommuters are a bunch of people stranded in their little suburban homes just screaming out for the littlest hint of human interaction.

Yes I got out of my apartment much more today. I still would have liked to have more interactions with real people but some days that just isn’t the case. I’m still my productive and upbeat self. I just need to get into an office. I need to know what is going to happen next. And I really hope this process begins to speed up for me.

Kids today have it so good

I’m not entirely sure why I am posting this other than it is awesome on more levels than I can count. If there is anything that would make me want to be a kid today, Feist appearing on Sesame Street would top the list.

(But how did they miss having the Count making an appearance? Isn’t that the most obvious connection?)

(And before anyone asks, yes I did watch the end of Monday Night Raw tonight. Every few years pro wrestling decides to run an attempted murder angle. You know, one where someone rams a car into another human being, on camera, without a) any of the camera people trying to stop it, b) any of the other people in the arena trying to stop it or c) anyone getting arrested for what is clearly a felony offense. Sigh. Given the amount of actual murders and death involved in our great sport you would think that they would try to avoid the fake ones.)

Kind of a bit at a loss for a topic tonight. Right now I am writing in an attempt that my apartment will magically clean itself while I’m not looking. This is another one of those strange travel issues that I have never quite understood. One of my big things before I leave on any trip is cleaning my apartment. This is very important to me. All of the dishes are done, the garbage is taken out and everything is in order.

Of course, when I come back from a trip I am so tired I just throw all of my stuff wherever there is space. And since there is nothing in the sink I realize that I can take a day or two off from doing dishes. Add in the fact that Saturday night went a little late this week my apartment has a few days worth of stuff that just needs to be addressed. Except I really don’t want to deal with it. There is nothing fun about doing dishes or paying bills. Sure, I have to get all of this done but I wish I could do it in a way that wasn’t so time consuming.

Otherwise today was just another day of job searching and interviewing. Monday is a big posting day so I scour the internet for jobs that either interest me or sound funny enough that I feel like sending them my resume. I think I applied to one job just because I liked the company’s name. I don’t know what they do but they sure sounded cool. It’s probably not the best way to find a job but it works for me.

Hopefully I am nearing the point where the interviews will begin to lead to offers and then I can get back into my usual routine. I miss having a job at times. True, staying up late and sleeping in has been a lot of fun but I am getting to the point where I just need to do something. Plus I don’t know how much longer I can stay in this state of limbo. I don’t know where I’ll be living a few months from now and that is beginning to wear on me. Answers should soon be forthcoming. What they will be I don’t have the faintest idea.

Departing and arriving

(Ooh, I am so pissed at YouTube for disabling embedding of this one video. I spent all day thinking up a bit about it. I’ll explain later in the week if I can’t figure out how to do it the way I want to.)

So I had to burn something like five hours in an airport on Friday. That wasn’t entirely my plan going into the trip but while Kansas City is conveniently located in the center of the nation almost no one ever flies there directly. Thus I had a choice of getting a convenient flight and being redirected through Atlanta or flying directly and I chose the direct flight since it would take roughly the same amount of time. That still meant I had an afternoon to burn in an airport.

I probably should have asked for advice before the trip as to how to kill that much time at an airport. Now as an experienced traveler I am pretty accustomed to spending a lot of time sitting and waiting. I of course explored the airport bar, which sadly was not nearly as exciting as it should be. First off, I had the worst Miller Lite I think I have ever tasted. This is quite disconcerting given that it was a bottle. It must not have aged well or something because this was just awful. Plus, I had to sit there and watch ESPN coverage of Brett Favre (retire already, jerk) and that wasn’t making things nicer.

Since I figured that I should try something different I did eat at a Chick-Fil-A for the first time ever. My verdict: it is a chicken sandwich. I have yet to understand the great praise that I have heard for the franchise. Yes, it was tasty and surprisingly good for fast food but the lines I’ve seen at the drive thru would seem to indicate that the sandwiches possess some sort of magical qualities. As if the secret of life is hidden in between the buns. Maybe it has something to do with the pickles. I really can’t tell you.

I did finish the book I was reading, “Then We Came to the End”. It is a rather interesting read and I had heard a lot of praise for it, which I understand but that doesn’t mean I enjoyed it. The book is about an advertising office during corporate downsizing, so obviously I was relating very well. It was funny and insightful but what makes the book a critical darling also made it a very challenging read. The book is written in the royal we. Meaning there is no narrator per se, just someone saying we and us all the time. As a result there is no central character and while there is a consistent point of view you can’t really identify with it. In terms of writing craft it is an astounding piece of work. But as a reader I could really have done with a focal point.

With that said I am desperately searching for more books to read. Please send some suggestions my way. Anything and everything is fair game but I am really looking for some new fiction to read. Nothing too deep or heavy but I could really do with a few new authors.

Best of 120 Minutes: It’s Sunday so I might as well post The Sundays. Sigh. I could listen to Harriet Wheeler’s voice all night.

Looking into the mailbag

I'm a bit low on ideas at the moment so time to break out the infrequently asked questions...

Q: So how is the job search coming?
A: Pretty good so far. At least I have been succesful in gaining interviews and all of the interviews seem to go well. I would describe my methodology as being the organized shotgun approach. Meaning that while I am seemingly applying to a ton of jobs on internet boards there is a method to my madness. At times the fact I applied for something like 25 different positions on Monday seems to be a little in excess but when the emails asking for phone interviews start coming in you have to admit it is a nice feeling.

(However, the rejection email I received at two in the morning was a little disturbing. I can just see an HR manager waking up in the middle of the night and going "I can't believe that guy even applied. I'm not even going to wait until the morning. He doesn't even deserve a few hours of possibility.")

I still don't know when, where or on what I will be working. I'm all over the country in terms of jobs and the positions themselves run the spectrum from engineer to product manager to finance to Chuck E. Cheese game technician (but only if I get my own Skee-Ball machine). I'll keep everyone updated.

Q: What snack food would you list as your worst guilty pleasure?
A: That is simple, Andy Capp Hot Fries. First of all, it still uses the Andy Capp cartoon character as a mascot. For those who don't remember, Andy Capp was (and possibly still is) a rather unfunny cartoon that always seemed to cross the line from irreverant marital strife into what seemed to be a fair deal of abuse. But mainly, Hot Fries are a potato snack that are spiced to high heaven and probably should not be eaten in large quantities. I devour bags of them when I'm in a bad mood and then have to drink a gallon of water just to simply breathe. Trust me, if my doctor knew about this habit of mine he probably wouldn't let me leave his office.

Q: What is the next liveblogging experiment going to be?
A: Well, I still need to liveblog Star Wars-a-palooza. I'll be honest, though, after the Royals game experience the thought of what it might be like to sit in one spot, watch fourteen hours of movies, never talk to anyone, and spend the entire time writing is really scary. I really was losing it at the end of the Royals game. That was essentially five hours of continuous writing, or at least scribbling ideas while trying to watch the game. Now imagine more than doubling that. It will be awesome as well as my longest post ever. It will happen before I start work. That is a guarantee.

Q: What are you using as your good luck music at the moment?
A: I am sticking with Josh Rouse and specifically the album "1972". It still has a rather incredible track record for me. Josh has lost his perfect streak but he is still well above random guessing. Plus, I really think everyone should own that disc. The world would be a better place if people did.

Have a great weekend everyone. More stories on Sunday.

More competition than I need...

Wednesday Night Music Club: As a White Sox fan I really feel like posting Moby’s “South Side” right now. However, I cannot in good conscience post any video featuring Gwen Stefani to my blog. As a result I am going to stay with Moby and go for his cover of “That’s When I Reach for my Revolver”. This is from the late 90’s when Moby realized that Techno was dead and over so he made a punk rock album. Six months later U2 released Pop thinking that Techno was huge. Silly, silly Bono.

And no I didn’t go to the ballgame tonight. Though watching the Royals lose on a balk would have been a level of enjoyment that I wouldn’t believe possible without chemical enhancements. I’m not sure if anyone else enjoyed my last post but I’ve been wanting to do that for years. I certainly didn’t expect it to be that long but it was a 13 inning game. And surprisingly, no one ever asked me what the hell I was doing writing in a notebook for an entire game. You would think that a guy sitting in a row all by himself who is continuously writing in a notebook would at least raise a slight bit of interest.

So I should respond to the latest stories regarding My Beloved Lindsay. If the UK’s Sun is to be believed (and if you can’t trust a newspaper that features topless women on page 3 I don’t know who you can trust) then Lindsay is officially a couple with DJ Sam. Sam short for Samantha. Now obviously this is a bit disconcerting for me.

Not for the reasons that would be disconcerting for more residents of Kansas City than I am comfortable with. I have absolutely no qualms with how any two people choose to be happy. As long as you have two consenting adults I really don’t care how the pairing is put together. Happiness is tough enough to find as it is, if it is within the same gender then so be it. However, this puts a huge crimp in my plan to date My Beloved Lindsay.

See, my logic so far has been foolproof. I would continually profess my smitteness with My Beloved Lindsay while she a) spirals out of control and b) slowly dates every guy in existence. As a result the number of guys who are a) willing to date her and b) haven’t already dated her would become smaller and smaller. At some point, I would be the best option within that pool. I was probably only six weeks away from that moment where I would be her best option. But now if I have to compete with the wiser half of the population I’m pretty much screwed. Well, not literally of course but you get the point.

I think I’ll leave it at that for the night. I think I wrote enough last night to last me through the rest of the week. And I didn’t even reference my desire to beat up the Royals first base coach just to uphold my South Side pride. I’m sorry but that is just how we roll where I’m from. Coach first base, get your ass beat. It’s the rule.

A night at the old ball park

[Editor’s / Author’s Note: I swear that the following is true. I have fifty pages of notes to prove it. I have been to a place where most men fear to tread…]

Pre-Game

And we are coming to you live from Kaufman Stadium. I’m joined by…crap…you know your life is bad when you can’t even convince people to go to a baseball game with you.

For those of you who are wondering I am here at the K to watch my White Sox take on your Kansas City Royals.

Actually, given that only a portion of my readership is from KC I should rephrase this. I am here to watch my White Sox take on that team that George Brett used to play for.

For those who haven’t spent a whole lot of time in the world of Battling the Current this is another attempt at liveblogging. I’m going to be giving my thoughts as they happen. This will be a challenge as usually I am watching events unfold on television whereas here I’m actually at the event.

I know what you are all thinking but no, I didn’t bring a laptop. The K lacks Wi-Fi. However, I do have a small notebook with me. If anyone asks, I’m writing for a website, which I guess is true. Otherwise, I’m just the idiot with a notebook.

If you are watching the game at home, and somehow are able to read this before I post it, I am sitting 6 rows behind home plate.

Why? Because I have nothing better to do and way too much money to sit with the common folks. Also, I picked up this ticket yesterday afternoon. Tells you a little something about how well the Royals are drawing this year.

Ceremonial first pitch is thrown by a ten year old. I yell “balk” just because he is wearing a powder blue Royals jersey.

It’s been raining all day but the field looks good and we should be able to get the game in.

This is rather hysterical. Nearly everyone around me is in White Sox garb. I fell bad, I’m just wearing a black t-shirt and a Notre Dame cap.

No, I didn’t boo the national anthem. Even my cynicism has limits. Plus, they did a good job with it. Not like the Carl Lewis version.

Contreras on the mound for the White Sox. Konerko, Thome, Crede and the Phenomenal A. J. Piersinzski all in the lineup tonight.

Kyle Davies on the mound for the Royals backed by, well, some guys. I’m sure they mean well.

Give the Royals credit, the new scoreboard really does make things better. For one thing, you can actually see real video.

Ok, let’s play ball.

Top First

Harold “I saw him hit three home runs in one game” Baines is coaching first base.

Game opening walk to Cabrera…and A.J. promptly hits into a double play.

Quentin singles as I begin to feel raindrops.

Dye strikes out to end the inning.

Bottom First

I think I’ll already stop doing play-by-play. That will be really boring.

Rusty Kuntz coaching first for the Royals. Enter your witty punchline here.

Mike Aviles lists his hometown as “Manhattan, NY”. Wouldn’t that just be New York City?

Teahan strikes out stranding two.

Sox 0, Royals 0

End First

Hey, pregame concert by the John Joiner Band on 7/11. Sweet! It would be even better if I knew who the hell they are.

Pretty early for the kiss cam. Since I am in a row by myself at the moment I doubt that I will be drawing the camera’s glare.

I’d make more comments about this but I’m rather bitter at the moment.

Top Second

Thome with a rocket leadoff double. Konerko, still doing that “lean back before every pitch” routine at the plate.

Nick Swisher now up. Some people’s path in lives are chosen by their last names. A Kennedy is going into politics, a Rockefeller is going into business, and if your last name is Swisher, you are going to be a jock if you want to have any hope of surviving the seventh grade.

Sweet! Dippin Dots! It’s like the ice cream of the future!

Swisher ground outs but drives in Thome in the process.

Mid Second

Hey, it’s time for the Sprint DJ Download. Your choices are…
A) Credence Clearwater Revival “Favorite Son”
B) Big and Rich “Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy”
C) The Soggy Bottom Boys “Man of Constant Sorrow”

Our contestant picks B. Fans get to text in their choice to see who will win. For a certain group of people reading this, I’d like to let you know that they did pimp the Instinct a nice bit. Or at least showed it, would have been nice if they mentioned it by name.

Bottom Second

Ross Gload should come to the plate to “I’ll Be There For You”. I’m just saying.

And he’s from Brooklyn, NY. Have boroughs now seceded from New York City? I’m a south sider but I still say I’m from Chicago. (Ok, I’m not but still…)

Umbrellas are now making their presence known in the crowd. Mine is of course in my car.

Single through the middle scores Gload.

Have to say that is a nice tramp stamp on the blonde three rows down from me.

A fielder’s choice drives in another run for the Royals.

And a single drives in another run. Big inning for the Royals.

A girl in front of me has what can only be described as a bucket of popcorn. As in a literal powder blue bucket. You could use it after the game to go to the beach and make sandcastles if there were beaches within a thousand miles of Kansas City.

If you ask me, hitting Alex Gordon with a pitch should not only be legal but encouraged.

Foul out ends the inning.

Kansas City 3, Chicago 1

End Second

Crowd chooses The Soggy Bottom Boys. That is a surprising degree of taste from the crowd tonight.

Top Third

Ok, I need to discuss these girls a few rows in front of me. First off, the blonde looks like she is about the 12th prettiest girl in her sorority while the brunette is maybe the 14th. They know that they are pretty and act as though they deserve the privliges that come with that honor but aren’t pretty enough to get attention from any guy. Instead, they are standing at the rail, bullying drinks from the people in the super box seats in front of me, and standing with their backs to the game and pissing off the crowd. This is the only time that I wish the net wasn’t there because if you are going to stand then cheer. If not, you deserve to get hit by a foul ball.

Leadoff single for Ramirez.

Followed by one for Cabrerra

And then a double play ends the scoring chance and the inning.

Middle Third

It’s Hot Dog Race time! Pretty much the reason I came to the game. Your choices are
Ketchup: Doesn’t deserve to be in the race, much less on a hot dog
Mustard: The only true condiment
Relish: Only losers pick relish

And here we go…jeez, this is more fixed than pro wrestling. Relish, Ketchup, Mustard. This town can’t even get hot dogs right.

Bottom Third

Inning starts with a vague, broken bat but not, double for Teahan.

Billy Butler still sounds like he is a character on some PBS kids show. It’s as if you continually expect Thomas the Tank Engine to go and visit Billy Butler.

Nice play by Konerko to save an out.

But Olivio drops one in scoring another run.

I’m not cheering for rain yet but I might start soon.

The sorority girls are now being led off by security. Score one for instant karma.

German flies out and we’re done with three.

Kansas City 4, Chicago 1

End Third

Apparently you can get free tickets to Royals game by dressing your pets in Royals gear. I believe that PETA should be informed of this treatment. Much worse than what is happening to minks.

Seriously, I would have been very happy to live my life without seeing a pomegranate dressed up as Sluggerr. (I mean the dog, not the fruit. I have no idea which one I just spelled.)

Top Fourth

Strange thing about the K. There are almost no outfield seats so it is essentially impossible to catch a home run. Fountains are nice but isn’t catching a home run part of baseball?

For the record, I have never been within fifteen rows of a baseball in all my years of going to games.

Just realized that one of my old VPs is sitting in the front row right in front of me. Maybe I should ask him for career advice.

Tough infield single by Konerko as the drizzle finally seems to be ending.

Crede strikes out looking to end the inning.

Bottom Fourth

I missed the t-shirt toss in order to get a hot pretzel. For some reason, a hot pretzel is one of those things you only eat while at a baseball game. And every game you go, “You know what? I could really use a hot pretzel right about now.”

Three up, three down.

Dorothy 4, Capone 1

End Fourth

In a change of pace, we now have a John Deere lawnmower race.

Sadly, there does not appear to be any career ending injuries as part of this race. It would definitely make it more entertaining.

I’m now actually listening to people on the Jumbotron discussing lawnmowing techniques. Welcome to the Midwest everyone!

Top Five

Alexei Ramirez has the single worst Jumbotron picture I have ever seen. His expression is the perfect “duh”. It’s like he had never seen a camera before and since he is from Cuba that is entirely possible.

A sneaky ground single by A.J. (who probably called it while at the plate). Runners on the corners with one out.

And what better way to wash down a hot pretzel than with a $7 Miller Lite. Only at the ballpark does this seem like a sensible idea.

Sox threaten but do nothing once again.

Middle Five

It’s now an official game. Guess I can’t cheer for the rain anymore.

Sigh. I miss the Watson’s pool in the outfield. It just seemed so, I don’t know, Missouri. Like, “You know what this ballpark needs? An above ground pool in the outfield!”

Bottom Five

Stand up triple for Guillen to start. That should probably have been an inside the park home run. He put the ball at the bottom of the right field fair pole on the fly. I think he could have made it.

Some good D by Crede saves a run.

And in true Royals fashion a leadoff triple leads to nothing.

Barbecue 4, Hot Dogs 1

End Five

Trivia time: When was the Royals first triple play?

The fan said 1985, which was sad given that it was 1972. I’d hope that it wouldn’t take 20 years for the club to turn a triple play. It’s rare but not that rare.

Top Six

And we start with a leadoff double by Jim Thome, the man who was born and therefore played in Peoria.

A passed ball puts Jim Thome, a man who has the same speed as an ice age, on third.

Paulie Konerko hits into a fielder’s choice, scoring Thome.

Each ballpark has its own little nuances. From Wrigley you look out and see fans on the rooftops across the street. At the K you see the Fellowship of Christian Athletes building and a Denny’s.

Crede, one of my favorite players, just powers a home run into left as the White Sox fans rejoice.

This sends the Royals to the mound. What should you get as a wedding gift anyway? And what the hell is a chafing dish?

Ramon Ramirez in to pitch. Apparently we have gotten rid of the Sprint pitching change, which to be honest were the best ad dollars that Sprint ever spent.

Foul out ends the inning.

Middle Six

Time for the hot dog launch, otherwise known as the vegan’s worst nightmare. Here, let’s shoot meat products at people who don’t want to even look at the stuff! It will be a hoot!

Ok, time for my annual rant on the Royals mascot Sluggerr. First of all, he has a crown for a head. It’s not that he has a crown on his head I mean his actual head is a crown. His eyes are in the damn thing. That’s just wrong. Also, given that the Royals have never made the playoffs since he was introduced I really think he deserves more of the blame.

Bottom Six

In the strangest musical choice of the night Esteban German comes to the plate to a Polyphonic Spree song.

And then promptly doubles, which I am just going to assume is the universe giving him props for his musical tastes.

Double down the line drives in a run.

Random park complaint. They’ve added a digital scoreboard as part of the left outfield wall. It’s actually pretty awesome but since they don’t have one in right it just ruins the symmetry of the park. That is much more important than most people realize.

A diving catch by Swisher doesn’t even merit a replay on the big screen.

And now it is Ozzie to the mound to bring on the Watson’s pitching change.

Boone Logan now in to pitch. I believe that his alter ego is Wolverine.

Gordon flies out to end the inning.

Chiefs 5, Bears 3

End Six

Diamond Talk time: What does “moonshot” mean?

Even a kid should know that so no surprise that he gets it right.

I miss having the kids having a home run derby in the mini-field outside the stadium. That was the only time you were able to both bet on and heckle an eight year old and feel good about yourself in the process.

Top Seven

Carlos Quentin has an incredibly open batting stance. It is like he is almost facing the pitcher sideways.

Even with the top of the order up it is three up, three down. Grrr.

Middle Seven

7th inning stretch time. At least the K has a real organ. Well, maybe not an organ but they have keyboards. Sigh. I miss old Commiskey and Nancy Faust at the organ.

For the KC residents out there: outside of the fountains are there any traditions here? I’m from Chicago where everything is steeped in tradition but honestly, is there one long held Royals game tradition? And the hot dog race doesn’t count.

Bottom Seven

Crede has been having a really nice game all around. That is about the best thing I can say so far for the Sox.

Here is the best example of Royals baseball for you. DH Billy Butler has two home runs and 19 RBIs in 216 at bats. Royals baseball….we’re technically in the majors.

Quick inning, nothing happens.

We used to have a jazz scene 5, We still have a blues scene 3

End Seven

Ok, maybe the three card monte game with a baseball counts as a tradition. I have to say, it does teach kids a very useful skill for when they grow older and head to the big city.

Top Eight

Sox need to get something happening soon.

Thome on base with a single.

Konerko walks, Anderson in to pinch run, Mahay in to pitch and my hopes now rest on the shoulders of some guy named Swisher.

Hey, the Sprint pitching change is back! When you think of abject failure forcing you to make a replacement think of Sprint!

Nice to hear a “Let’s Go White Sox” chant from the crowd. Way to show your team spirit.

Swisher singles driving in Thome while Anderson holds at third. Crede up with one out.

Crede’s home run went 416 feet last time. Thank you magical scoreboard!

Crede nails a long sacrifice fly to center tying the game up.

Middle Eight

Ah!!! It’s a giant Garth Brooks! Run for your lives! He’s going to kill us all!

Seriously, we’re singing Friends in Low Places between innings. I’d rather be at a Cubs game right now.

Bottom Eight

Three up, three down.

Good Guys in Black 5, Dudes who occasionally wear Powder Blue 5

Top Nine

Soria has his own entrance music. I’ll have to say that Guns N Roses is a nice choice.

Top of the order for the Sox here.

That was a nice ice cream cone catch by DeJesus to save a sure double.

And it is another three up, three down.

Bottom Nine

The scoreboard is telling us to stand. I thought that the new thing in Kansas City is that we are now banned from ever standing during a sporting event. I am so confused. Who can I text to receive clarification?

Three up, three down with two of those striking out looking.

You know what is better than Royals baseball? Extra innings of Royals baseball!

South Siders 5, Bi Staters 5

Top Ten

Given that I don’t have a job to go to tomorrow I’m going to stay.

Wow, another three up, three down inning.

Bottom Ten

We’re now down to showing baseball bloopers between innings. Sadly, no one was mauled by a lion.

Guess what? Another three up, three down.

Fire 5, Wizards 5

Top Eleven

I have a horrible feeling that my journal is going to turn into the ending to the Blair Witch Project. If I start writing notes to my family I’m going to be greatly concerned. This game may never end.

Crowd dances along to YMCA as I get the feeling that Kansas City doesn’t quite understand the nuances in that song.

Given that it is a small crowd you would think they could have announced the attendance by now. Hell, you could count it by hand at this point.

Single by Crede. Thank God, we now have a baserunner.

Single by Ramirez. First and Second, one out, Cabrerra up.

Cabrerra hits a grounder to second that German bobbles. He should have had one out there for sure. Now bases loaded, one out, with The Phenomenal A. J. Piersinzki up.

In one of the oddest plays I’ve ever seen, A. J. hits a massive fly ball to center. Joey Gathright makes a great catch but runs into his right fielder and goes crashing to the ground. Two runs then score on a sacrifice fly, which I don’t think I’ve ever seen happen before. Gathright was on the ground but still, second to home on a sacrifice fly?

Another nice catch by Gathright ends the inning.

Bottom Eleven

It’s down to this for the Royals with Linebrink in to close. That is not quite the imposing name you want in a reliever.

Fly out to center, one down.

Single by German to make things interesting. He steals second without a throw.

A long fly out to center moves the runner to third.

Aviles is the Royals last hope…and with two strikes he singles in the run. Here comes Alex Gordon…

Who on a full count doubles to tie up the game.

John Buck into pinch hit and he flies out. The game continues.

Art Institute 7 Nelson-Atkins 7

Top Twelve

I might end up the last person at the park at this pace. Who knows?

For once I am happy that I am not keeping score. They are on something like the 12th pitcher now.

Thome singles and runs roughly as fast as a large rock.

In a wise move, Wise is sent in to pinch run for Thome.

Showing the immediate wisdom of the move, Wise steals second.

Hey, if you’ve been at a game for as long as I have you’d be making puns as well.

Anderson grounds out. Hope now lies with the Swish man.

Cool points for the K: scoreboard gives a player’s OPS.

Swisher hits it straight to the second baseman. Nice job, dick.

Bottom Twelve

We are now showing people at Kelly’s between innings. I’m not even sure if that is a pre-taped bit. It is quite possible the camera crew left early and is now filming from the bar.

Masset (who?) is in to pitch for the Sox.

Leadoff walk to Teahan…

And Butler bunts into a double play. Yeesh, that was one of the worst things I have ever seen at a baseball game.

Gload singles, showing that he is the best baseball player named Ross around.

Olivio grounds out.

Rush 7 Brigade 7

Top Thirteen

I am beginning to feel as if I am in Apocalypse Now. At any moment I am just going to start writing “the horror, the horror” in this notebook. On the plus side, I’ve at least sobered up for the drive home.

We’ve just passed the four hour mark of game time for those wondering.

Ramirez hustles out an infield single. I am now at the point of cheering anything that happens as long as it is quick.

A hit and run double by Cabrera scores Ramirez! Yes, something happened!

A.J. grounds out. He somehow even manages to ground out arrogantly.

Quentin flies out. Can the White Sox hold on?

Bottom Thirteen

Infield single by German, who seems to be hitting everything in sight tonight, starts things off.

DeJesus strikes out.

Aviles singles, runners on the corners, one out.

Have to admit, this is one hell of a game. Longest game I’ve ever been to as well.

Gordon up with the game on the line and promptly walks to load the bases.

Mark Grudz..Mark Grudziel…Mark G. up to pinch hit. Crowd is on their feet.

And he hits in to a 6-3 double play to end the game as we all mercifully go home. Sox fans joyous, Royals fans despondent and everyone much too tired.

Final Score White Sox 8, Royals 7

Game Time: 4 hours, 21 minutes

Ok, I’m going to sleep now.

The Weekly Meeting

“I’d like to call tonight’s meeting of the Pessimist’s Club to order.”

“This meeting is going to be horrible.”
“These chairs aren’t as comfortable as last time.”
“Why couldn’t we get a bigger room?”

“First off I’d like to thank Janel for bringing the coffee and snacks tonight.”

“Coffee causes high blood pressure.”
“She’s trying to kill us all.”
“For crying out loud Janel, would it kill you to bring some freaking bagels to these meetings? Just once I’d like to have a fucking bagel. And I mean a real one. One that is boiled like they do in New York.”

“And of course we should take a moment to remember Gerald who is no longer with us.”

“All of my friends are leaving.”
“There goes my carpool”
“Say goodbye to the fantasy football team.”

“Gerald did write to say that he has settled into his new home in Miami and is adjusting.”

“It’s much too hot down there.”
“Ten bucks says his new house is leveled by a hurricane.”
“I bet he at least can get a bagel with some god damn cream cheese.”

“Now our first order of business is the preparation for the upcoming presidential election.”

“Politicians are all a bunch of crooks.”
“Mathematically speaking, your individual vote is meaningless.”
“I’m telling you, this country has gone to hell ever since we let women vote.”

“And then there is our annual fun run.”

“My shins hurt.”
“Does it have to be outside again? We’re all going to get sunburn and that will turn into melanoma, I just know it.”
“How the hell is running meant to be fun, anyway? All we do is run around the neighborhood, sweat like mad, and end up exactly where we freaking started. It’s absolutely pointless!”

“In a very special treat, the post race picnic will feature a concert by Styx.”

“They’re too loud.”
“Without Dennis DeYoung the band sucks.”
“Let me guess. No bagels at the picnic either. Figures. I’m surrounded by a bunch of no culture, Midwestern inbreds.”

“Now let’s look at what we’ve accomplished, shall we?”

“Every second the entropy of the universe is increasing moving us closer to inevitable disaster.”
“Oxygen causes cancer so even breathing is bad for you.”
“Janel this coffee is horrible.”

“Next week’s meeting will be at Steve’s house.”

“It’s too far away.”
“In that neighborhood it is a guarantee that my car is going to get stolen.”
“Not like I have anyplace better to go.”

“Until then, I would like us all to repeat our credo.”

“Life sucks.”
“Existence is meaningless, a fraud perpetuated by our own sub-conscious.”
“No matter what happens, things could be worse. And they probably will be in due time.”

You wax poetic about things pathetic...

Wish that I had a lot of grand adventures to report from this weekend but sadly it wasn’t the case. It was just a rather lazy, quiet weekend for me. The fourth consisted of a trip to the airport (which is a long, interesting and emotional story that I simply am not allowed to discuss in this space) followed by my sleeping on the couch and then patriotically doing laundry. I’m sorry but I just don’t see the big deal about fireworks. I’m certainly not going to drive somewhere and hang out by myself to watch them. It just seems even more pathetic than spending a holiday folding laundry and watching bad movies.

Not sure if I could say that the rest of the weekend was an improvement, though I did watch Nascar and Wimbledon. The Daytona race wasn’t much to write home about as the cars continued to turn left and no one has yet tried to drive the wrong direction in an effort to create ultimate havoc. Also, the fact that the race was one long advertisement for Coke Zero (it’s just like Coke but it’s not) was rather annoying. The Nadal-Federer final today was some of the best tennis I have seen in years though. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more even match in my life. When you are deep into the fifth set and both guys have won the exact same number of points you realize just how evenly matched they are.

I guess if I have realized anything from this weekend it is the acknowledgment of the big date that is looming in my future. I am now less than sixty days away from turning 35. For some reason this has become a rather epic birthday in my mind. Much moreso than when I turned 30, which just seemed to be a bit of a ha ha moment. I knew turning thirty meant that I was now older but I was still a bar hopping, live in the moment kind of guy. But being 35 will mean that I am in my mid-thirties, no questions asked, and that implies a lot. Like I should be settled down by now and right now if there is one thing that I am not it is settled.

Interestingly, I really feel like I am 35. I’ve been using that as my age for a while now just because it really fits me. My hair is tinged with gray and I don’t recover from a late night with quite the vigor that I used to. I’ve had to see a cardiologist and discuss my cholesterol levels. Being 35 fits me in that respect. I’m not a kid anymore. I should be a respected adult.

The problem is of course is that I still don’t have the life of a respected adult. I’m a guy in an apartment who doesn’t know where his career is headed and his social life is once again in shambles. I really did expect to have a wife, a house and a dog by now and I somehow have avoided acquiring any of the three. That is probably the biggest issue in my life right now. The life that I want and the life that I have simply do not match up on even the most basic level. I still enjoy myself but it isn’t what I’m looking for. Finding it in two months is a bit too much to ask for but who knows. Stranger things have happened.

Best of 120 Minutes: For some reason I am in a real Paul Westerberg mood at the moment. As a result, here is World Class Fad. It is a very good song to play at high volume on a Monday.



The Random CDs of the moment:
1) Jeff Buckley “The Grace EPs”

Who we are

I discovered something very interesting about my personality this morning. Maybe discovered isn’t the right word. I’ve known about it for as long as I remember but it had never dawned on me how odd it might be or what it might possibly mean. I’ll try to explain.

I was up at 6:30 this morning due to a phone interview I had scheduled at seven in the morning. Now obviously I wasn’t the one who scheduled this call. Even when I was working I couldn’t bring myself to be awake by seven and doing so while unemployed seems a cruel and unusual punishment. But, that was what was set up and I can’t really go “I’m kind of planning on getting wasted on Wednesday night. Could we reschedule for a time when I’m slightly more sober.” Anyway, while lying in bed I had to motivate myself to get up and told myself, “Look, we really need to get going.”

Stare at that statement for a little while. I refer to myself in the plural. It really hit me that when I talk to myself I always refer to myself in the plural. “We need to get our shit together”, “We need to think up a gameplan”, “It’s time for us to get some sleep”. That is how my internal monologue works. The voice in my head is referring to itself and some other component that needs to work in harmony.

I’ve spent much of the day trying to figure out precisely what that means. The best I can think of is that I truly feel as though my physical self and my mental/spiritual self are two completely separate systems. There is the part of me that controls my thinking and feeling and could be considered my soul and then there is my body, which is where my soul just happens to find itself at the moment. Now that isn’t too unique of a thought but it is the fact that I consider them to be so separate. Much of the time I don’t think of myself as a me, more of an us.

(Note: This doesn’t mean I have multiple personalities or anything. True, there are EC, Chris and Christopher but those are basically variations on who I am. All that differs are which parts of my personality have the volume turned up at any point in time. EC is the funny, cynical one, Christopher is my serious, goal focused work persona and Chris is the default me, a smart, caring guy who never quite seems to understand what is going on around him. But those are all me.)

I’m not sure if this is unusual or not. I’ve never found out how other people talk to themselves. It doesn’t bother me, really. In a way it helps me not feel so alone in the world. Like there are always various parts of me working together. It just might explain why I sometime get lost in my own thoughts and seem to be out of it. That side of me just takes over and I can’t seem to connect with myself for a little while. That isn’t a good thing, it’s what I am typically referring to when I discuss spending time in the dark corners of my soul, but I at least understand what is going on.

Any thoughts out there in cyberspace? How do you talk to yourself? Is this more universal than I think or should I look at upping my medication? I’d be really interested to hear some thoughts.

Have a fun holiday everyone. Please stay healthy out there. (I also realized that in my entire life I have never lit a firecracker. I think I might have held a sparkler once. I never quite understood the point. You light something and it goes boom. Ok, so what?)

Midweek meanderings

Random note number one: Here is another side of the strangeness that is my life. Within the span of an hour today while sitting in my home office in KC (dressed splendidly in a 2005 White Sox World Series champs t-shirt) I interviewed with an electric utility in Miami and a mobile software company in Seattle. I don’t think you could find two positions that are such polar opposites. Complete opposite sides of the country, different functions, different skills needed, but I am completely qualified and interested in both positions. See, this is what I get for not being a dentist. When a dentist looks for a new job all he has to do is look for a place where a dentist is required. I have to define my career on my own.

Random question number one: Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I should do this weekend? Seriously, every plan that I had for this weekend has gone “poof” and I am now faced with the possibility of spending the entire time either a) working on job applications or b) hanging out in a bar. If I could find a bar with decent wi-fi capabilities I could just combine those activities. But really, what the hell should I do this weekend?

Random question number two: Does anyone have a suggestion for a cool, stylish watch I could buy to show more style than bling with my evening wardrobe? I have a watch, a perfectly fine watch, with a Guinness logo on it but I think I need something slightly classier. I’m not talking five grand on my wrist here. Just something cool. Ideas?

Random note number two: It is very strange to check the news online and see reports of “Angelina Jolie’s doctor to give a press conference.” Now, even as someone whose entire life revolves around pop culture, this seems to be slightly excessive. Yes, she is a celebrity and all (even though she can’t open a movie and hasn’t done anything of note since Girl, Interrupted) but is she really that important. When she has kids she can let us know. We don’t require press conferences to declare exactly how dilated she is at this very moment. It just isn’t that important of information.

Wednesday Night Music Club: I’ve gained a few new friends on Facebook and that always leads to the “who is that with you in your picture” question. Despite appearances (which I really don’t try to dispel) she isn’t my girlfriend. It is in fact one of my favorite musicians, Kelly Willis. Here is Kelly on Letterman, joined by the rather lovely Amy Farris on mandolin.

Five years to cross the street...

It’s late. It’s very, very late. And I think I have a job interview tomorrow. I’m not entirely certain of that fact but it seems highly likely that I will receive a call tomorrow in which my being awake would be beneficial. So I am just going to write one quick story for the night because there is no better night than this one to retell it.

Five years ago today I packed up my car and drove from my parents’ house to Kansas City. Now while my car was packed it was only packed with the items that I felt were necessities in that they must travel with me and not the moving company. If I remember correctly that entailed mainly my computer, parts of my stereo and my Duke Basketball poster. Some paperwork and financial stuff of course but really, that was all I was concerned with and it was a Grand Am so it wasn’t like I was going to fit much in there to begin with. So I made the eight hour drive, pulled into my apartment, picked up the keys and moved into my place.

After unloading my car (and getting introduced once again to the brutal Kansas City summer) I took a look at my apartment. At this point I realized I would need a few things. Food being one of them. A chair being another. See, my movers weren’t going to arrive for several days and I neglected to pack something to sit on. Or sleep on for that matter as while I had blankets and a pillow I did not technically have a bed to sleep in.

So if I remember correctly I drove to Target that first night just to pick up the barest of essentials in terms of food (I recall Doritos playing a vital role in my diet over the next several days as I was also lacking plates, silverware, or any type of cooking instruments) and the ugliest deck chair imaginable as I would otherwise have to stand all the time. Then I did what many people still consider legendary.

I walked down to Kelly’s, which was just a few blocks from my apartment, and I sat down at the bar. I ordered a beer and a pack of cigarettes (this was back during that brief moment in which I tried to smoke under the mistaken impression that it made me look cool) and just sat there and relaxed. Eventually the bartender came over, asked about my story and I went

“I just moved here. My furniture isn’t arriving for a few days so I’m drinking until the floor looks comfortable.”

I was treated well for the rest of the night, the rest of the week and quickly became a regular. It was a rather good introduction to the town.

That was five years ago tonight. I didn’t quite expect to be here five years later especially not in the same apartment. But it just happened to turn out that way. How did I spend my five year anniversary? By sitting in Harry’s and having a beer. There are two big differences though. First off, I can’t smoke in the bars anymore thanks to the new law. And tonight I had much better company than I could ever have hoped for. And that truly makes all the difference in the world.

I really can’t tell you where I am going next. I’m interviewing across the country on a daily basis. Everything is up for grabs at the moment. But I’ll have to admit, the past few months have made the five years here worthwhile.

The future is at hand

Buzzball from Evento on Vimeo.

Random Note # 1: I have seen the future of transportation and it is the Buzzball. Yes, what I have dreamed of for years is now a reality. I can now own my very own motorized Atlasphere. Now clearly there are some flaws with the design shown in the above video. First of all, it moves much too slow. I’ll immediately upgrade the engines and get this thing up to at least twenty miles an hour. Second, what is up with the seemingly padded outside? Mine is going to be metal and mesh cage like a true Atlasphere. Finally, I’m not sure how to best attach spikes to this design but I know that they are required for the optimal impact. So when you see someone flying at you in the spinning metal ball of death at least you’ll know who is at the wheel.

Random Note # 2: Per the comments on last night’s post. 1) I have no problem having fun with drunk women at the bar assuming that a) they are actually women and b) doing so will not result in my waking up the next morning wondering why I am now short a kidney. 2) The fact that when people hear Halleluiah they think of The O.C. makes me feel very sad for the human race. To the point that I would be very happy if the plants decided to take over.

Random Note # 3: I had a very strange experience today in that late in the afternoon I became so hyper that I was unable to sit still and had to leave my apartment and go shopping or go insane. This could be because I spent much of the day at my laptop working on job applications. Or, it could be that my local coffee shop decided to switch my decaf with the super caffeinated blend, which I really think is what happened. Grrr. While Panera is the closest place for me to get coffee they sure have been treating me poorly.

Random Note # 4: For those wondering yes I am now at the interview point of the process for several companies. Everything has gone well so far and I have moved on to second interviews at every place where I was able to get my foot in the door. I also have failed to make any mistakes such as calling a company by the wrong name, which I did in business school. I do guarantee that I will describe my biggest weakness as “being so awesome that the productivity of the rest of the office decreases as they tend to spend much of their day staring in awe at my magnificence” at some point. Hey, I was always told to tell the truth.

Random Note # 5: The two best job postings I saw today based on my usual criteria. Assistant Game Technician at Chuck E. Cheese. Yes, I am apparently qualified to be the assistant to the guy who fixes the Skee-Ball machine. I’m not sure if my pay would be in pizza, prize tickets or freedom to reprogram the animatronic characters to perform Usher’s “Love In This Club” (which I saw on YouTube and is worth seeking out.) The other job is professional estimator. I feel that has to be the best job ever. You just sit there and go “Well, that looks about twelve feet long”, “You’ll probably need a dozen two by fours for that job” and “I’m guessing we’ll need two weeks to finish the project.” Any time someone complains you just go, “It’s an estimate, of course it isn’t going to be accurate.” Talk about a sweet ass gig.