Thursday, September 28, 2006

Songbook: Volume Five

(Note #1: No, I was really dumb last week and didn’t pick up Morris even when I knew Alexander was hurt and might be missing some time. My fantasy life is centered around Julius Jones and Chester Taylor. Actually, my fantasy life is focused on Natalie Portman, more like my fantasy team is dependent on Jones and Taylor.)

(Note #2: I have three comments to make right now on the Screech porn video. First of all, I don’t know if I want to live in a world where Screech from Saved By the Bell is apparently having a better life than I am having. Second, I love how his agent is trying to spin this as a way for him to break away from the Screech image and get better acting roles. Because you know this video will wipe away all memories of Screech and replace them with even worse images. And finally, this is how I imagine the Saved by the Bell reunion show will go.

Mark Paul Gosselar (Zach): “So what is everyone up to. I was on NYPD Blue.”
Mario Lopez (Slater): “I was on Dancing with the Stars.”
Lark Voorhees (Lisa): “I sued a tabloid for saying I was a crack addict.”
Dustin Diamond (Screech): “I gave a girl a dirty sanchez in a porn film.”
Elizabeth Berkley (Jessie): “You know, suddenly Showgirls doesn’t look like such a bad career move.”
Tiffany Amber Thiessen (Kelly): “You’re all a bunch of freaks. I’m leaving before you ruin my career by osmosis.”)

Anyway, a return to Songbook, in which in honor of Nick Hornby I examine a song and its impact on my life.

Songbook: Eric Clapton “Wonderful Tonight”

I hate Eric Clapton.

I hate Eric Clapton with a passion. If I cared about my job nearly as much as I care about my laser like hatred of Eric Clapton not only would I be CEO but I’d be on the cover of Time magazine with a headline of “Dude, this guy is so awesome.” If I met Eric Clapton I would immediately punch him in the stomach just so he could get a minute taste of all the pain and suffering that he has caused me over the years.

As you can tell, this is a subject that means a lot to me.

Now I have to admit that I hate a lot of bands. I can’t stand the Grateful Dead. Any music where the entire point of it is that it is fun to listen to while high a) isn’t good music and b) isn’t a good use of getting high either. I consider the Doors to be the most overrated band in the history of music because outside of a few minutes of Ray Manzareks noodling on keyboards they are the most boring band imaginable. And any guy who plays “The End” on a bar jukebox will be second against the wall when the revolution comes (behind the staff of Ticketmaster). And Led Zepplin is a band enjoyed by people who like hobbits but aren’t into Star Wars.

So that doesn’t explain the vitriol I express towards Eric Clapton. I’ll agree that he is a great guitar player. Is he the best guitar player ever? Heck, I don’t even consider him to be the best guitar player named Eric (Johnson has him beat). And most of the songs are decent and I appreciate that he has kept a spotlight on the blues and the old legends. Those are all positives for him. But that doesn’t change the fact that he has made my life a living hell with the song “Wonderful Tonight.”

Ok, now I know a few of you are going. “But EC, it’s such a sweet love song. We played that at my prom/formal/wedding.” You’re wrong. It’s not a sweet love song. It is the only song that forces me to leave the room when it is played and even Ice, Ice Baby doesn’t make me do that.

Here’s why. So you’re in college and you’re an electrical engineer so social skills are not exactly your forte. That happens when of the two hundred and fifty people in your program only five are female. It’s like “You’ll need to learn Maxwell’s equations but we won’t bother with teaching you on how to interact with human beings in any environment where the term transistor is not mentioned on a regular basis.” And being college at some point you have the big dorm dance (Barn or Formal) that everyone is looking forward to.

Well, except you because you don’t have a date. Maybe because the girl you asked said no because she was still technically dating a guy in Germany. Maybe you didn’t ask the girl because dorm dances just didn’t seem to be her style. Whatever the case you are torn between wanting to go (because your friends are going) and not wanting to go (because it’s dumb to go by yourself.) Finally, after much badgering by your friends’ girlfriends (who all seem to like you more than their boyfriends) you decide to go. And hell, there’s going to be beer there and beer makes life worthwhile.

So you go and you are actually having a good time. You’re joking around and having your picture taken and drinking and everything is going fine. People even try to drag you on a dance floor, though after thirty seconds they push you back off the dance floor as you are a danger to yourself and innocent bystanders given your complete lack of rhythm. But still, it’s a much better night than just staying home and watching television. That is until “Wonderful Tonight” comes over the stereo. Suddenly all of your friends pair up. Everyone moves on to the dance floor. The girls look lovingly into their dates eyes. It’s one of those pure romantic moments that everyone tries to attain because it’s what they’ve seen in movies. It’s beautiful for everyone involved.

Well, except for you because your standing on the side alone with a beer in your hand watching everyone in the room other than yourself be happy and wondering “If the world ended this instant I think I would be happy just because I wouldn’t have to listen to this damn song anymore.”

That’s why I hate Eric Clapton. Every dance I’ve been to, every wedding, hell, even random nights at a bar this song will come over the speakers and I am reminded of that moment of feeling like being the biggest loser in the world. It’s not even that I feel that way, it’s just that the song epitomizes that some people are couples and some people aren’t and that every line in the song is trying to say “If you aren’t with someone right this instance your life is completely worthless and you have no value to society. We might as well just replace you with a plant.” And since I hate feeling that way about myself that’s why I now leave the room whenever the song comes on (and in one instance, threatened to jump out of a moving car if someone didn’t change the radio station.)

And I hold Eric Clapton responsible for all of this. He has made countless guys lives horrible by creating the one song that is played every time someone thinks a slow dance is a good idea. It’s the only thing worse than being more famous for recording a Bob Marley song than Bob Marley is.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Fantasy becomes reality...

I am nowhere near the end of the topics I want to cover…

Topic #8: The curse of my fantasy team continues with Terry Glenn cutting himself with scissors, causing Terrell Owens to get depressed and overdose on pain medication. Dude, the Cowboys are the most emo team in the league. But it once again proves that not only are my players getting injured but anyone associated with them is also cursed. Thank god I don’t have any Bears on my team.

I’m also worried about my number one receiver in Larry Fitzgerald. Not because of Larry, who is one of the best guys in the league. I just have to deal with the fact that I don’t know who will be throwing him the ball on a weekly basis. It will either be Kurt “I’m sorry but my hands are small” Warner or Matt “I’m sorry but my hands are covered with Astroglide” Leinert.

Topic #9: In other Arizona Cardinals news, they finally named the new stadium. Sadly, they did not accept the offer by the Pink Taco franchise for naming rights. (I’m not kidding, there was a distinct possibility that years from now we would be discussing legendary Pink Taco Stadium). Instead it will now be The University of Phoenix stadium. So we have gone from the Phoenix Cardinals (playing in Tempe) to the Arizona Cardinals (playing outside of Phoenix) at The University of Phoenix Stadium. The University of Phoenix is hoping that this raises their credibility in the world. Personally, I would recommend not promoting your school through ads on pro wrestling websites as your first step towards respectability.

Topic #10: Not to say anything bad about pro wrestling websites. Back in the day when I was active in the internet wrestling community it seemed like every other guy was working on a masters degree. Seriously, of the top commentators one was in law school, another was getting a doctorate in mathematics and one guy had an office down the hall from mine in Everitt Lab at Illinois. There is a great thesis paper out there somewhere of why really smart people are drawn to pro wrestling.

Topic #11: Ok, I have decided that I will attend my high school reunion in a few weeks. This has come after much thought and consternation on my part. Not so much as to fear over who will I run into, more of will anyone from my class actually show up. We were never much for school spirit back in the day so it is very possible that it will be me and three other people. Still I am faced with two very important questions: A) What will I wear and B) What will I say that I do for a living.

For the first question I’m aiming for my classic expensive shirt with a killer alternative t-shirt on underneath. And for this look I am going to call on my readers to help me out with what I should wear. My friends at Starzan Tees (http://www.starzantees.com/) have some killer designs and I want to put it to a vote as to what should I wear. Personally, I am drawn to the “I am the First Starfighter” but this is entirely up to the audience. Let me know (or if you feel I will be much better off with the stormtrooper costume.)

The second question I’ll cover in the coming weeks. Given that I’m not sure what I do for a living and knowing that no one I meet will have any clue what my life is like and that I live hundreds of miles away from any of my classmates I feel that this could be a night of social engineering.

Topic #12: Coming tomorrow, the return of Songbook. This time featuring a song that absolutely everyone will know. It’s going to be a good one.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

A great night for the black and gold

Continuing on from last night…

Topic #4: I actually was planning on writing about longtime friend of the blog Maggie Walters who has now moved from being my favorite unsigned artist to being the first person signed to a record label that I’ve written a CD review for. The fact that she has been signed and is working on a new album (and finally planning a real tour) is awesome. What is more amazing is that I spent some time a few weeks ago training my Pandora.com account to better understand my musical tastes, which included listing Maggie as one of my favorite artists. This means that while working on spreadsheets at the office I hear an Aimee Mann song segue into one of Maggie’s. It’s really difficult to explain just how awesome that is. So, for those of you who want a risk-free way to hear her music head over to Pandora, set up an account and at some point her songs will enter the rotation.

Though I have to say that training Pandora is a full time job. I finally convinced it to never play Led Zepplin songs, which I hate with a passion. At one point it decided that I needed to hear System of a Down though I can’t imagine why. And I still don’t know how to tell it that while I like female country singers I don’t like popular country singers. Still, have to give it credit as it now occasionally plays an Ani Difranco song. Yeah, I got tickets to another Ani show. The first one I attended was to impress a girl who had broken up with me six months earlier. (It made sense at the time.) The second show was because I really liked her first set. This time I’m going just because me at an Ani show is really, really funny.

Topic #5: I also have to give a tip of the cap to Karyn, a member of the extended blog family, for her appearance on The Big Break VI tonight. Karyn now becomes the first reality show contestant that I have drank with along with being the only Miss America contestant that I have ever drank with. It’s interesting that the show emphasized her being Miss Minnesota much more than her being the MVP of the Minnesota golf team. I’m really bummed that she was eliminated early in the show but it still was a thrill to see her on television.

(Though Erik, I have to admit hearing your sister’s name announced as the winner of Miss Minnesota is one of the most insane moments of my television viewing life. I can’t even imagine what it was like from your perspective.)

Topic #6: If you didn’t get choked up watching the opening of the New Orleans Saints game last night then you don’t have a soul. I’ll admit that this is something very close to my heart (and I had friends at the game) but to see the emotion in the crowd was just staggering. Sometimes you just need to have U2 on stage to prove a point and last night was it.

It’s tough to explain why that game and the reopening of the Superdome was so important. Part is that New Orleans still doesn’t feel right. Even in the Quarter where everything looks fine you just don’t have that crowd and sense of life that made the place great. Add to that wherever you drive in the city you see devastation. Here’s an example, while we were driving to the worksite one day we drove past this boarded up building and Julie went, “Chris, didn’t that used to be a theater?” And I realized that is where my sister saw Dave Matthews play after Jazz Fest and now it is just a shell. And this was right off the Quarter on Canal Street. So when you see that any sense of normalcy, including a football game, means the world.

You can make the argument that rebuilding the Superdome when volunteers are needed to hut houses is a case of misplace priorities. I’d argue that it isn’t. Now we need to rebuild the neighborhoods (or to at least have a plan in place to rebuild them). But New Orleans lives on tourism and by having the Superdome back open it means that a) Saints can play home games, b) the Sugar Bowl will not be in Atlanta this year and c) the SEC and NCAA can start thinking about holding events in the city again. All of that is huge in rebuilding the economy. I’ll say it again, New Orleans hasn’t disappeared nor has it been rebuilt. Don’t forget the people on the Gulf Coast.

Topic #7: One quick line from How I Met Your Mother, which will be a topic for another day. “Being single isn’t like being a kid in a candy store. It’s like living in a lawless, post-apocalyptic wasteland.” Can’t agree more. If I ever figure out what the rules are in being single and forming relationships I’ll let you know. It definitely would be easier if flowcharts were provided.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Topic-palooza

A few weeks ago I was really wondering what the future of this blog was going to be. Anyone who has read it consistently probably got the sense that I wasn’t really having fun writing and was completely out of topics. That’s all changed over the past week or so and I now have post it notes plastered around my computer of topics I need to write about. Here are a couple…

Topic #1: I believe that I have had the most insane fantasy football season imaginable and it is only week 3. I lost my first game by less than a point. For week two I won on a tiebreaker (yes, we had a tie in fantasy football, which is almost mathematically impossible). And yesterday I won by 0.3 points. So I’m 2-1 and could just as easily be 3-0 or 0-3. It’s like my entire season has been one big coin toss.

Adding to that is the fact that being in any way associated with my team is a guaranteed trip to the injured reserve. My number one pick Shaun Alexander? Broken foot and out for four to six weeks. My backup QB in Trent Green? Nearly decapitated in a week one hit. Hell, while Joey Galloway technically didn’t get hurt his inability to get open caused Chris Simms to rupture his spleen. It’s nice to know that Chris is fine after having his spleen removed, I just hope that while the doctors were working on him they implanted a spine as well. So with Shaun out and Galloway without a QB to throw to him my season rests on Julius Jones and Chester Taylor. And as a rule, you should never have money riding on an adult who still goes by the name Chester.

Topic #2: I had what might be one of the weirdest moments of my life on Saturday (and I was sober for this one). During the afternoon I went out to run some errands and when I came back to my apartment there was something sitting directly in front of my door. A perfect placement right where my doormat would be if I ever decided to buy a doormat. I looked down and saw a) a package of candy wrapped up with a nice little bow and b) a container holding a piece of cake.

To say that this left me quite perplexed doesn’t do justice to the word perplexed.

See, almost no one knows where I live. Well, a lot of people know the rough area where I live but almost no one knows which amongst a slew of identical apartments is actually mine. So when I looked down at this seemingly festive offering I decided that one of the following must be true: A) I have a secret admirer, B) I have a personal stalker or C) Someone is trying to poison me by leaving food at my doorstep. Personally, I’m going for option B just because it gives my life that sense of danger that it is sorely lacking. Sure, there is the other option (the Occam’s razor choice) that states that someone got the apartments mixed up but I’d like to believe that my life is filled with intrigue.

But yeah, never expect to find food left on my doorstep with no note whatsoever. Just freaky.

Topic #3: Here is the best news that I got over the weekend (besides Illinois covering the spread). Damien Rice will be releasing a new album before the end of the year. Plus, The Frames will be releasing a new disc in Ireland tomorrow and it will be released in the U.S. next spring. Or for people like me it means that I can special order the disc from Ireland and have it shipped at incredible expense just because I don’t want to wait six months for songs I’ve never even heard. That’s how much I like those guys.

Still, this is great news as it has been a pretty poor year for music. That’s why I decided that Beth Orton has the album of the year even though it really isn’t that great of an album. I just haven’t heard much that is better. I really am looking forward to hearing some good new music. Plus, new albums mean U.S. tours and maybe I’ll finally be able to take that week off and tour with the band.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Irish eyes...

Ok, there was no way in hell that Notre Dame should have won that game last night. I didn’t stop watching the game, though at points in the first half I decided that watching the Behind the Music special on Pantera was a better use of my time than watching another bad Brady Quinn throw. But I should have remembered that golden rule that if the team on the other sideline has Michigan State written across their jersey then you always have a chance. Seriously, they may be the least clutch team of all time.

So ND is now 3-1 with their schedule getting much easier from here on out. Still have to get past Purdue but after that we play all of the military academies, which is always fun. The comeback meant that I went from being resigned to spending New Year’s Day wearing a “Free DeBolt” t-shirt in Jacksonville for the Gator Bowl to now being confident that we will reach another BCS bowl. That’s a pretty big comeback.

I still don’t consider it the most amazing comeback I’ve ever watched. I’ll still give Illinois’ miracle game against Arizona to reach the Final Four as the only time I’ve ever just been dumbfounded by what was happening. (For those who wonder, my profile picture is of Deron Williams hitting a three to tie the game). The big thing there is that Illinois never wins games like that, which is what made it so special. With Notre Dame’s history, this is really cool but not unprecedented.

I’ve got another Notre Dame story to tell tonight. I have to admit that on Friday night’s I’m always tempted to watch “What Not To Wear” on TLC. For sake of pride, that probably isn’t something that I should confess in public. At least with Queer Eye I am learning how to improve my style, here I am just watching as these poor women are being confronted at random and being told that they dress horribly. For a self-help show, it can be pretty cruel.

Well this week they had an ND alum as the victim. Vandy (which is a super cool name for a super cool person) does planning and p.r. for Sundance and she basically dresses in Notre Dame t-shirts and sweatshirts at all time. I’ll admit that it is a bit sloppy for a professional look but she looked pretty cool. The fun thing is that she had two lines in the show that just emphasize what it means to have your own style.

First, after being told, “You know that none of your coworkers walk around wearing their college t-shirts” she immediately replied, “But they didn’t go to Notre Dame.” To everyone who isn’t an alum that answer makes no sense whatsoever. To an alum however, not only is it a reasonable response but you immediately go, “Yeah, Vandy’s right.” Her other line was when one of the hosts went, “But you’re a girl. You should look pretty” and her retort was “But I’m a girl who likes drinking beer and watching football.”

And it was at that moment I realized that if she wasn’t already married I was going to be searching the alumni directory in order to ask her to marry me.

See, that is what I find fascinating about the show. Every once in a while they will take a woman with this killer personality and a great, if quirky and off-beat, look and then make her look like everyone else. In those cases over the course of the show I go from wanting to date her to feeling like she wouldn’t make my head turn in an Applebee’s. There is something to say about someone who is so at ease with themselves that all they want to do is sit back, drink beer and watch football. A woman who can say that is basically the coolest woman in the room at all times. And, yeah, sweatpants in the office is probably bad but giving up who you are in an attempt towards improvement is a loss that can’t be quantified.

The five random CD’s of the week:
1) U2 “Rock’s Hottest Ticket”
2) Jimmy Buffett “Off to See the Lizard”
3) Golden Smog “Weird Tales”
4) Waco Brothers “Waco World”
5) Uncle Tupelo “Anodyne”

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Reality redux

Some comments to close out the week…

1) So I caught an episode of Survivor: Race War (or whatever they’ve decided to call it) tonight and it’s an interesting mix of contestants. I think the whole “tribes based on race” has been blown out of proportion given that no one cared when it was men vs. women or young vs. old. And in two weeks they’ll combine tribes anyway and it won’t matter at all. Not sure if I’ll watch much this season as I’ve missed the past couple after being an addict for many years. But, I might have to stay tuned as long as the girl whose occupation is shown as “Roller Girl” is still on the show. If only to see if they explain what the career path is for a Roller Girl.

2) CSI was a very weird episode tonight. We had a half hour advertisement for Cirque du Soleil (new advertising slogan: Come for the magic, stay for the possibility of a corpse being discovered during the show.) We ended with Danny Bonaduce shot and slumped over a table with a diorama of Danny Bonaduce shot and slumped over a table in the background, which was pretty freaky. And for some reason we had an impromptu John Mayer concert in between. What worries me is that the show is entering the phase where it just starts torturing the characters (Katherine tonight, a few others in the past). It’s a crutch that writers use when you run out of ideas, you just make the characters lives as miserable as possible for the artificial drama that it causes.

3) I am so bummed that I missed The Biggest Loser last night. I appreciate any game show where there is a distinct possibility that you might see a contestant keel over from a heart attack at any moment. This coming from a guy who admits that most of the blood in his veins has been replaced by Crisco and Jim Beam.

4) Didn’t mention the awesome opening promo on Studio 60, in which Judd Hirsch (playing a Lorne Michaels type) goes on the air live in the middle of a sketch to talk about how unfunny the show is and how horrible television has gotten. Using phrases like, “Television today is pornography but it’s not even good pornography. We’re one step above snuff films” and “We have shows like “Eat rats for money” and “Who wants to sleep with my sister?”” It was probably the most accurate description of the state of television, media, and modern pop culture today. I know that most of what I do here is write about pop culture and my job basically revolves around exploiting my knowledge of it but it still is so lowbrow now that it is disturbing. I mean, how can you write about Paris Hilton and not feel dirty afterwards?

5) Saw a few bands on Tuesday and one followed an official rule of rock bands: If a woman is in a rock band she is only allowed to play the bass. This is set in stone for every college rock band: Smashing Pumpkins, Poster Children, The Pixies, and about a dozen other bands. Hell, even in a band like L7 it sounds like everyone is playing a bass. One of my favorite quotes (from Juliana Hatfield) is that it is physically impossible for a woman to play a guitar solo. The only one who can is Bonnie Raitt and she doesn’t count because she was taught by blues legends while growing up.

6) There are a handful of exceptions to the rule. Kate Schellenbach by all rights should have been the drummer for the Beastie Boys. And Sleater-Kinney play all of their instruments, though they are a great example of the fact that you do not need to know how to technically play your instruments or sing on key to be a successful rock band. That’s not a knock on the band, they are awesome and I’ve been listening to their disc all week. It’s just the punk rock paradigm of with enough attitude you can be successful.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Points to ponder...

Questions I thought about today while I probably should have been increasing shareholder value…

In a full scale war, who would win The Smurfs or The Snorks?: In a one on one fight, I’m confident that any Snork could take any given Smurf (except for Brawny Smurf who could probably hold off a couple). However, in a full scale military conflict I don’t think that you could discount the tactical genius of Papa Smurf, which would give the war to The Smurfs. However, there is a possibility that the extreme level of specialization within the Smurf Army will result in disaster once the casualties begin to mount. It’s the same in G.I. Joe where you have to ask yourself, “What happens when the one guy who knows how to drive the aircraft carrier dies?”

Who wins in a battle between the Starship Enterprise and Darth Vader’s Star Destroyer?: Star Trek space battles take place under the battleship paradigm in which two ships get side by side and open fire on each other. Star Wars uses an aircraft carrier design where a big ship launches wave after wave of fighters. This makes the decision easy because if you’ve noticed there no longer are such things as battleships. Plus Vader would so kick Kirk’s ass, unless of course they left the exhaust port unshielded again.

Pirates vs. Ninjas?: The big question here is does the ninja army gain the factor of surprise and eliminate the pirates before they even have a chance to draw their cutlasses. Now most people assume that ninjas will be able to use their stealth to approach undetected. However, in reality the pirates have created a warning mechanism in their parrot armada all of whom are trained to go “Sqwak, ninjas!” at the first sign of trouble. (Why else would pirates have a parrot on their shoulder if it was for anything other than a ninja early warning system?) Once spotted the ninjas can easily match up with pirates in a one on one matchup but the pirates have guns and that beats an inaccurate throwing star any day of the week.

Ok, Care Bears vs. Shirt Tales: Shirt Tales have the definite technical advantage in that flying supersonic ship thing and you have to admire a group of animals that have built a crime fighting headquarters out of an oak tree. But under the calm and caring exterior of the Care Bears lies millennia of evolution in which at their core they are bloodthirsty beasts ready to tear out your jugular at a moments notice. Plus, that Panda on the Shirt Tales would probably pull a Benedict Arnold and sell her friends out (though the Mole might do this as well).

What are the odds that I’ll be getting a date any time soon now that I’ve revealed that I’ve spent a number of brain cells debating these points?: Probably a little higher than you think. Chicks dig pirates after all…

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Yo ho ho ho...

Avast ye mateys! Today is the greatest day in all the fair land, where we gather from all across the seven seas to drink rum and celebrate Talk Like a Pirate Day (also known as the official state holiday of ARRR-Kansas). All day I’ve been riddling people with the following

Q: Of all of Richard Harris’s many achievements in the performing arts, which is a pirate’s favorite?
A: MacARRRthur PARRRk

(Now if I can just figure out how to get this damn parrot off my shoulder. And I can’t believe that I left the cake out in the rain and I’ll never have that recipe again.)

(I seriously wonder if anyone got that last joke. It’s obscure even for me.)

Yes, Talk Like a Pirate Day is an official holiday, thus sayeth Wikipedia. It’s high on the list of Battling the Current holidays along with Pi Day, National High Five Day and Dyngus Day all of which seem to have the same degree of seriousness attached to them. As one of my readers emailed me today, in some of the cooler parts of the country people do come to work today wearing eye patches and carrying swords. As much as I would like to try I just can’t see myself getting away with that in the office. Heck, I can’t even get Wookie Life Day off as a religious holiday and I listed my religion as “Jedi” on my last census form. Though I’m definitely bringing the lightsaber to work on that morning.

Switching gears, in what is the smallest surprise of the year Willie Nelson’s tour bus was pulled over and he was arrested for marijuana possession. This could only be more surprising if, I don’t know, Cyprus Hill was charged. As Bruce Robison sings in his classic “What Would Willie Do?”

“Willie would take a deep breath and let it out slow. Then he’d take another deep breath and let it out slow. And then he’d feel hungry.”

(It is a great song and at all times you should ask yourself What Would Willie Do?)

The thing about this is that growing up I always considered Willie Nelson to be the squarest person imaginable. In the “only my parents could like this music” type of way. Now I’m floating in the alt-country gutter and the guy is a hero to all of the musicians that I like. And he gets arrested and I think, “Wow, that is pretty awesome.” Maybe I should chalk this up to growing older and getting more and more like my parents.

Finally, I have to send Get Well wishes out to my beloved Lindsay, who broke her wrist over the weekend. That fashion show was totally at fault, making her walk across a sidewalk that was slippery due to the rain. Like they couldn’t stop it from raining. Talk about gross negligence. I can’t believe…

Jeez, even I can’t keep this up anymore. Talk about a train wreck of a life. Seriously Lindsay, take a year off, get healthy, stay out of the tabloids, and make a grand return at the age of 21. It is your best option.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Starting a new season

So it’s officially the start of the new television season. Which means that I am now justified in spending an entire evening on my couch with the extent of my exertion being switching channels to check the score of the football game. But, that doesn’t mean that I don’t have some in depth analysis of some of the new shows.

I caught most of The Class, in the “I listened to all of it but only watched the last five minutes of it” sort of way. (I was having dinner at the time and I’ve reached the point where I eat at my dining room table as opposed to while sitting on the couch. This has been a major development in my life and is another in the long line of events that make me feel very old.) Can’t say that The Class is a very good show, though it has at least a little promise. It’s about an impromptu reunion of a third grade class twenty years later and the usual angst filled questions of what life is like as you turn thirty.

I should like this show but I’m a little fearful of it. This is probably due to the fact that my fifteenth high school reunion is in a month and I am debating whether to attend or not. It’s one of those strange things where it’s not like I didn’t like high school. Parts were good, parts were movie worthy and other parts were so horrible I should probably charge my therapy bills back to the school. Basically, no different than anyone else’s experience. But I’m not in touch with anyone from my class and have no idea who will be there, which makes buying a plane ticket to step into a room filled with the unknown a little frightening. So The Class is about people dealing with people they haven’t seen for years and it is meant to be funny. But they at least try.

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, on the other hand, is a show that I should really enjoy. It’s an Aaron Sorkin dramedy, in the vein of Sports Night and The West Wing. It’s falling a little more in the range of Sports Night but not nearly as much as I would like it to be. The show is one of two on the NBC schedule about Saturday Night Live (and that doesn’t include SNL itself) and it is interesting though not in a laugh out loud sort of way. Plus, there are about a thousand characters who really should wear name tags and those West Wing camera angles are almost nauseating when viewed in high definition. Still, I’ll be watching this one.

That leaves the story of my life in How I Met Your Mother. I still say that this is one of the most realistic shows on television, if only because not only have I missed seeing Barney on television but I’ve also missed the fact that my personal Barney(s) are a couple of states away. This show makes me miss the regular crowd at the bar. Tonight focused on Marshall trying to get over Lilly leaving him and this is where they get it perfectly right. After his fiancée dumps him Marshall spends two months sitting in his apartment drinking and feeling sorry for himself. Which is what every guy does when he is dumped up until the point where he realizes how horrible a frame of mind that is and he pulls himself out of the funk. Two months is about fair, though in some instances it takes a good three to four years.

The weird vibe that I got from this episode is that Robin and Ted don’t work as a couple at all from a television point of view. Now it’s known that they don’t end up together but it’s weird that two characters who have so much chemistry when they are not a couple seem to lose it when they get together. Mainly, a happy Ted isn’t a very good character. You need conflict in your main character and Ted needs to be depressed and miserable in order to be interesting. (Wow, and I wonder why I see myself in him). Of course, it’s good to know that my doppelganger has found the girl of his dreams, if only for the moment.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

The Madness of Moderate Crowds

Note #1: Look, the important thing is not how Reggie Bush undertook his contract negotiations or how he attempted to blackmail the team, what really matters is that the Saints are now 2-0. And right now I’m going to take any good news from New Orleans that I can get. Seriously, someone asked me recently what it was like in New Orleans and I replied, “It’s kind of like Bagdhad” and given the destruction and the continual flow of military vehicles I’m not that far off the mark.

Note #2: Dear God, did Notre Dame look bad on Saturday. When your third play results in an interception return for a touchdown you know it’s going to be a long day. I just didn’t think it would turn out to be that long. Sights you never want to see in a football game: your cornerback shaking his head after the receiver has him beat by ten yards. As I emailed a few people, it was good that I didn’t try to get tickets to the game since they were asking for an arm and a liver and I need both of my livers.

Because of the football game (and the fact that I am recovering from the last bit of jet lag/travel induced cold) I took Saturday night off to hang out at Borders, listen to Beth Orton CDs and watch Garden State over and over again. (Side note: I’ve been arguing with myself what the best album of 2006 has been. Beth’s “Comfort of Strangers” is in the lead, mainly because it has grown on me a lot). But there was another reason to take a night off, the previous night just wasn’t that fun of a night out at the bars.

I’ve come to the conclusion that my enjoyment level in bars is highly dependent on the number of people there. I am probably one of the few people who can enjoy myself in an empty bar. Literally, it’s been just me and the bartenders and I can have fun just joking with them, hanging out and reading the paper. A predominantly empty bar where the only people there are my friends (the fabled Wednesday nights at the Backer) was the location for some of the best moments of my life. Even an incredibly packed bar where you can barely move can be fun, if just for the sheer insanity of the moment.

But there is an inbetween point, where the bar is crowded but not packed, that for me is the least fun place on earth. And that’s what Friday night was like. It was a beautiful night so people were out but it’s not summer anymore so the crowds were slightly smaller. This meant I was able to get a seat at the bar but would be constantly jostled while sitting there. And this doesn’t happen when the bar is packed because in those situations no one can move. Here there was just enough space for everyone to drunkenly wander into each other and spill their drinks. It’s like there aren’t enough people to get a rush off of the crowd but too many people to have it just be a relaxing hang out time. So I ended up at a patio bar, mainly because it allowed me to get fresh air. Still crowded but at least I felt like I could relax. As Jamie the Bartender said to me, “You can’t complain about getting to have a drink under a clear night sky.” It was the nicest thing that anyone said to me all weekend.

The five random CDs of the week (featuring all female singers this time around…)
1) Cat Power “Myra Lee”
2) Laura Cantrell “Humming by the Flowered Vine”
3) Shannon McNally “Geronimo”
4) The Mollys “Only a Story”
5) Sleater-Kinney “The Hot Rock”

Friday, September 15, 2006

Note to Rosie: That Goes for You As Well

I’ll have to say that tonight has been a really good night. I won our monthly poker game after not even being invited to the last game, which I mention in that “Oh, look at me, I’m so bitter” sort of way. I just played really good poker and got lucky on more than a few occasions. But mainly, I don’t remember making any bad plays and that gave me a rather nice victory. It also shows what I can accomplish when I play poker sober for a change.

That comes on top of the even better news, which is that Voltron has finally been released on DVD. On top of that, you can also pick up Ultraman and that now becomes the greatest two pack in DVD history. Seriously, I now get to hang around my apartment and watch Voltron episodes all day. I just have this weird feeling going through me right now, like this is what it must feel like when your life is complete. I know that watching cartoon robotic lions shouldn’t justify my existence on this planet but come on, have you ever seen five robotic lions join up to form one massive robot? With a sword? Along with Battle of the Planets, G-Force and Speed Racer I now believe that all of the highlights of my youth are available in DVD format.

(Yeah, it was a rather odd childhood…)

Anyway, as the comment said since Lindsay is admittedly shanky (or possibly skanky though shanky sounds more accurate) I should move on to a more pressing topic with the Reggie Bush situation. (And yes, I know that I should not make a spelling comment given that I never proofread my posts even though I write them in Word beforehand). The question is that given Reggie was probably living rent free and most likely violating NCAA regulations what should be done to him and USC from a historical record point of view. My response…

It really doesn’t matter.

That’s not meant to be flippant, it’s just that changing the record books after something has happened is basically silly. Officially, the Fab Five of Michigan didn’t reach the Final Four though I certainly remember Webber calling a timeout he didn’t have on a play where Jalen Rose should have been taking the ball up the court. So while the books show that they were disqualified, everyone knows that they were there and played and consider them to be a final four team.

If I remember correctly Alabama had a season wiped out because of Antonio Langham (I think it was the year after their title). But no one talks about the year Bama didn’t win a game because they won games that year. So even if the NCAA strips USC of its national title, has the team forfeit the games, and breaks into Reggie Bush’s house and steals the Heisman it still doesn’t change the fact that Reggie pushed Leinert into the end zone in South Bend. That’s what people will remember and not a ruling after the fact.

This doesn’t mean that I encourage breaking NCAA rules. I hate the fact that most programs are on the take. I don’t know if there is a clean one out there (as a Duke fan I wonder what really happened with Corey Magette). And that’s mainly because there is an awful lot of money at stake with the players not officially eligible for any of it. But think of what the normal way to incent people is and you’ll see why the system is just made for corruption. That’s why I am for at least some level of stipend. Sure, it might end the beautiful amateur nature of the game but let’s be honest, that died a long time ago.

And I know the ND faithful will hate me for this, but I have to support Reggie Bush. He willingly signed with the Saints after a very short holdout and my New Orleans friends were celebrating like mad when that happened. As in guys were telling me it was the best news they had heard all week. He’s embraced the community and in a town that needs bright spots wherever they can find them he is doing his best to show that there is a future in the city. So while he played for USC at least he is showing that they aren’t all idiots. Leinert admittedly counters that argument by willingly dating Paris Hilton and hanging out with Nick Lachey. Typically you want to see better decision making out of your quarterback.

Have a good weekend everyone. Go Irish.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Note to Jane Fonda: Back Off on my Beloved

Random comment time…

1) Thanks for the anti-iPod advice. That was one of my biggest concerns: that I would pick something and be locked into a file format and one site to purchase music from here on out. I’d rather stay with mp3s, which is at least a little more open source in terms of format. It’s not like I’m going to be downloading a great deal of music online. I’ll always be a CD person just for the fact that I enjoy the physical nature of having something to collect. My main purpose is to a) finally give my discman a rest and have a whole lot of music in portable form and b) make it a lot easier for me to download and listen to concert recordings. Hopefully I can get this done in the next week or so.

2) Oh, and here is my other thought on the stormtrooper costume. The other idea I have had had deals with my dislike of people who wear their cel phones on their belts. This is called the Batman effect as people tend to look like they are wearing a utility belt given all of the gadgets they have. My response to that is to wear my replica lightsaber on my belt. Some people are proud to be able to answer an email on a moments notice but only I can slice open a taunton and use it to provide warmth in times of crisis.

3) I have one comment on the Anna Nicole Smith story and it has nothing to do with what may or may not have happened. I just want to reiterate what I read this week in that her lawyer’s name is Howard K. Stern. I swear I am not making this up. Anna Nicole Smith’s lawyer is Howard Stern. It is enough to make you think that the entire story is a hoax. Plus, wouldn’t it just suck to be that guy? Here you are, worked your way through law school, built up a practice to the point where you work for celebrities (at least on one level) and all people can think of when you hand them your business card is “Hey, that’s the same name as the shock jock!”

4) Fantasy football update: lost my first game by less than a point. Should have won it in about a dozen ways including if either a) Joey Galloway could catch a pass or b) Shaun Alexander decided to you know, try to gain a yard or two. But it is nice to know that Trent Green, my backup quarterback, was released from the hospital and can remember a significant portion of his own name. Man, that was one of the most vicious hits I’ve ever seen. I’ll be stunned if he plays again this year, that was a Chuck Bedarnik on Frank Gifford type hit. This forced me to bring on Chad Pennington as a backup or in other words, I’m pretty much screwed.

5) Battling the Current would like to wish a warm welcome to Brittney Spears’ new baby boy. Our advice kid, stay away from high chairs, your mother’s car and let’s be honest, as soon as you learn how to walk we suggest running away from home. It’s probably your best bet.

6) I also want to give a shout out to Mike Boogie for winning Big Brother. In reality show terms, this was one of the most amazing victories ever. Everyone was gunning for him and his buddy, the evil Dr. Will, from the moment the show started yet they controlled the entire thing and ended up winning. It’s rather incredible and stunning. Now we have a new season of Survivor and The Amazing Race so I’ll get my reality television fix. Plus, How I Met Your Mother returns on Monday! Yes, the story of my life starts up again. Should be good, the camera crew had a fun time tailing me this summer so get ready for the roller coaster that is my life to be shown in high definition.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

iPod or Blaster Rifle?

Not sure what people thought about last night’s post. I had been thinking about it for the past few months and decided that it was something that I wanted to have somewhere other than on my hard drive. They tell students that journalism is the first draft of history. Along that logic, my writer’s journal and the blog that it evolved into is the first draft of my autobiography. That really was as close of a record that I have as to what was going through my head that afternoon.

It’s a little strange to realize that basically every important event that has happened to me since 1998 has been written down somewhere. I’m not kidding, you can go through past versions of my writer’s journal and discover the exact moment I met someone or when I switched paths in Destiny’s garden. It’s rather incredible though it tends to be disturbing when I describe to someone our first conversation because I reread it that afternoon. I’m still not quite sure what the overall purpose of the journal or the blog has been but it’s nice to know that I am keeping a record of my life as trivial as it may seem at the time.

Anyway, I’ve got a data request for the reader(s) of the blog. I know that there are a number of you who are tech savvy and I need your assistance. I’ve decided that I deserve a birthday present for myself. Now, I did get a Paul Konerko jersey from my parents, which is awesome, but I’ve decided to do one of the following. I’ll either pick up that full scale stormtrooper costume made from the original costume molds or undergo a technology upgrade. Yes, I want to finally move on and get an iPod/MP3 player and a new laptop.

Wait a minute, I think my laptop is crying. Hold on a minute…

(I know, I know, I feel bad too. But it’s not you, it’s me. It’s been a good five years but at some point we both just need to move on. No, it’s not just because I want to move on to a newer model….)

Sorry, but I have spent five years with Julie the Laptop, which is so much longer than any of my relationships that I don’t even want to joke about it. For a machine that I purchased on the fly it has served me extremely well but we are at the point where several of the keys don’t even have letters on them anymore. It’s just time to upgrade and gasp, finally move on to high speed internet.

So here are my questions. I have no idea what to look for in either an MP3 player or a laptop. The MP3 player is the more important one as I would preferably like to move my entire collection to it (well, maybe not the Joan Osbourne CD). Plus, I’d like to be able to download music online, legally and artist supported of course, but I’m not sure if this is best through iPod or another brand. The laptop is a little easier as I basically just need to get a more powerful model for Julie II. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated.

(Oh, and I’m not kidding about the stormtrooper costume. Check out the site at http://www.firebox.com/index.html?dir=firebox&action=product&pid=1431. I am so tempted to buy this. It’s not that I would wear this on Halloween. I’d also wear it occasionally while just cleaning my apartment. Hell, I’d show up to work in it. There’s something about the thought of standing in an office cafeteria in a stormtrooper outfit that seems incredibly funny. Or just sitting in your cube and waiting for someone to ask you a question.)

Monday, September 11, 2006

Rememberance

Five years later and I still don’t think that I’ve processed what happened that morning.

9/11/2001
2:14 P.M.

Journal Entry # 76

“Can we please change the channel? My friends might be dead and I really do not need to hear about the bond market right now.”

This has just been a day where I have walked around in a haze. I was lying in bed this morning, actually sleeping late for once and listening to Chicago radio. Right as I was about to wake up it comes over on the news that a plane has hit the World Trade Center. I jumped out of bed and turned on the television and watched the news. As I am getting ready for class, watching ABC and trying to get a sense of the situation and I see something that will stay with me for a long time. On the screen was the World Trade Center, in flames and with helicopters circling around. Then coming into the screen was a jet which rams straight into the other tower. It was then when my heart just sunk.

I ended up going to the business school because I needed to watch this with somebody. I was there with some other classmates and I was still looking at some classwork. I knew there was a horrible loss of life but I don’t think it had sunk in yet. Then the newswire started to report that there was a fire at the pentagon. They showed an image from the center of Washington and you could see a plume of smoke in the distance. Taking into account the distance to the Pentagon it dawned on me just how big a fire it must be. It turns out that yet another plane had crashed.

Now the news stories became more hectic, with talk of the Sears Tower being evacuated. This is when it dawned on me that I needed to figure out where Scott and Troy were. I still sat there watching the news as they showed the World Trade Center in flames. I would look at the picture and the engineer in me was speaking up, “Those buildings have a lean to them.” I didn’t vocalize this but in my heart I knew what was going to happen next. Later, as they were showing the Pentagon they jumped to what was at first called another explosion in New York. In the replay I watched as one of the towers buckled under its own weight and collapsed. It still isn’t clear what happened but I can just envision all of the rescue staff and people in the buildings being trapped and crushed under the rubble. After that, it was only a matter of time until the second tower came down.

Other than one other plane crash in Pennsylvania that appears to be the extent of the terrorist action. Maybe the only reason I am reporting this in a rather disconnected manner is that I still have not processed all of this. I can look at it and estimate that tens of thousands of people have died but it not really understand the human aspect of the situation. Then I would look at my classmates and the human factor would hit home. These are my new friends from New York with no idea how their friends and family were doing. I could see all of us doing a mental inventory of everyone we know. Scott is in Denver and since the airports have been closed he might be there for a while. Troy was downtown but everything seems to be ok in Chicago. But I know that my classmates are suffering and my hearts go out to them. One of the rumors is that the plane that crashed in Pennsylvania was headed to Chicago. I don’t know what I would have done if that had happened.

Somehow, in the midst of all this, I can take pride in being in a place like this. We held a mass for all of the MBA students as so many of us in this community are worried about friends and family. It is just stunning to watch all of these people, gathered in prayer and showing that we are truly a family. After mass I walked over to the grotto. I just needed to get out and walk and pray. There were a number of us who had gathered there. It felt like it was they only thing to do. As I overheard a priest say as I walking through campus, “At times like this all you can do is pray.”

It is a beautiful September day. A week ago I was celebrating my birthday. I’ve spent the weekend watching football and practicing a speech for a class that seemed to be the most important thing in the world to me. Now, I don’t know. I will still sit down and do class work because that is all I know what to do. It is going to be a long night. I see the sun shining through the window. I wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t had the radio on this morning.

A beautiful day shattered. A glorious campus quiet except for the toiling of a bell. People lighting candles and walking around a campus in shock.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

And I'm back...

(Upon realizing that I was spending the day following my 33rd birthday by sitting in a pub outside of the British Museum and drinking a pint of Guinness)
EC: “You know, given how much I bitch about things every once in a while I have to admit that my life freaking rocks!”

Yes, I am back after a slight sojourn over the pond to London to attend a conference. I can now officially claim that I am, in fact, an international businessman. It was a really quick trip, left on Monday and came back on Friday, which means that my body is now really confused as to what time it is. The jet lag wasn’t that bad, I was tired over there more for the fact that I was constantly busy and I spent yesterday on the couch watching football, which too be honest is probably what I would have done if I had spent the entire week in Kansas City. I have a vicious head cold though that is probably due to the twenty hours I’ve spent on planes this week.

(And in what is either one of the coolest or dumbest things I’ve ever done, I even played in a trivia contest on Friday night even though I was in London that morning. And I was still the only one in the place who knew that Chairman Kaga is the host of Iron Chef and one of the few who knew that David Yow headed up The Jesus Lizard. That’s basically the type of knowledge that sits in my brain at all times.)

The conference was cool and I was able to spend some time wandering the city. Picked up a Frames CD and two new Mike Gayle novels, which saves me from ordering them online though the cost ended up being the same. Wandering around London was a bit maddening. Maybe I’ve just spent a little too much time in KC but those crowds were just beyond anything that I’ve ever encountered. I probably walked in two miles in one direction and the crowds never ended. Even as a Chicago kid I never dealt with anything like that. Maybe it is like that in New York or LA. (Side note: it dawned on me that this was my third trip to London yet I’ve still never visited New York. And I’ve never set foot in California. That’s pretty amazing.)

Now there are two news stories that I missed that I need to discuss. The first is Paris Hilton’s drunk driving arrest. I was very upset that the BBC only felt that this deserved a blurb on their news ticker. Somehow Tony Blair preparing to resign as prime minister was judged as being more news worthy, though I can’t tell on what planet that could be true. Here’s what bothers me about the story. A) She was driving, which means that someone gave her a license to operate a motor vehicle in the first place. Don’t you have to pass a test or at least prove that you can read to do that? B) She was going to In-N-Out Burger and as a former spokesperson for Carl Jr’s that is a degree of hypocrisy that I would not expect for someone of Paris’ character. C) She was going for a burger? That might be the dumbest way to get arrested when you are a high profile debutante.

The next story involves Lindsay Lohan’s stolen luggage at Heathrow on Thursday. First of all, I would like to squash the rumors that I had anything to do with the incident. Just because we were in the same place at the same time doesn’t mean that I left the conference early in order to steal her asthma inhaler. (And yeah, that would be what I would have taken. Screw the jewelry, how awesome would it be to have that on your mantle? Ok, maybe I shouldn’t have shared that…) But it does make you wonder just how scatterbrained she is as she misplaced a bag with hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of jewelry while wandering Heathrow. I mean, I don’t let my passport leave my side during a trip.

Oh, and they did show Lindsay’s film, “Just My Luck” on the flight back. And I, the committed fan that I am, lasted about ten minutes before I turned it off and went to sleep. It was that abysmal. Lindsay sounded as if prior to every scene she had a pack of cigarettes and downed a bottle of Jack. Which too be honest, might be a pretty accurate description of the set.

The five random CD’s of the week (featuring bands you know):
1) Smashing Pumpkins “Siamese Dream”
2) Jack Ingram “Electric”
3) Jon Dee Graham “Full”
4) Coldplay “X&Y”
5) U2 “Achtung Baby”

Sunday, September 03, 2006

We're all looking for a life worth living...

So, I turn 33 in about an hour and as always, I don’t take birthdays very well. I know other people are big on celebrating birthdays and getting completely drunk in honor of their birth. I’ve never really fallen into that category. I always blame it on having my birthday on Labor Day weekend, when most people are trying to get away from things. Plus, it’s the start of the school year and it’s tough to really look forward to your birthday when you know that it means school will have started. Not that I didn’t like school, more like I really enjoyed learning but didn’t enjoy the atmosphere and culture that accompanied it. And drinking really shouldn’t be tied to the calendar. It is much too limiting.

Still, I am struggling tonight to come to grips with this birthday, as I now enter the Grant Hill year of my life. In a way, this one is tougher for me than turning 30. When I was 30 I was new in town and new in the job and so much of the previous year had been a blur that while it was momentous, I still felt like I was well in control of my own destiny. But at 33 I’m really beginning to feel old. It’s like I might very soon start saying things like “The thing is, when Mozart was my age he’d been dead for five years.”

I’ve already started to try things to hide my age. I’ve learned what details to leave out of my stories to make it much tougher to figure out just how I old I am. It worked well last night as this girl Angela guessed that I was 26 or 27 and was surprised when I admitted my age. She said I had young eyes, which is a nice complement. Still, no matter how hard I tried I did have to admit that I had a decade on this girl and even though she was super cool and we talked about DNA sequencing at one in the morning I knew that there was no way I was going to overcome that age difference. Especially not in this town.

(We did literally discuss the complexities of DNA sequencing and before anyone complains, it was her choice of conversation topics. I’m not sure if I’ve ever had that conversation at a bar before. Definitely not with anyone that cute.)

What’s really bothering me is that I live my life on a five year plan and my two big goals that I had down to accomplish before I was 35 haven’t been completed and seem really far away. Those two goals are, of course, to write a novel and to get married. What would surprise most people is that I consider writing a novel to be the easy one of the two to accomplish. That just takes time and effort and dedication, all of which I have. I just don’t know if I have the courage to sit down and put all of that onto paper and have it not match my expectations.

And marriage, well, I’ve always said that it was a goal but not a requirement. It’s not like on this day in 2008 I’ll be in Vegas just trying to grab some random woman to marry me before midnight. At least, that is not the current plan. But it is something that I want more and more, to settle down and get married and raise a family and move on to that portion of my life. And the thing is, I don’t know if or when or how any of that is going to happen. That’s tough for me since I am someone who thinks that he can logically predict every scenario and build a gameplan that guarantees success and that just doesn’t work in real life. At least with the novel I can just tell myself to sit down at the laptop and write, on this one I’m not quite sure what it would mean to work harder.

The other thing that has been on my mind is whether or not I am truly leading a life worth living. By all of the typical measures I have accomplished a lot of things but I’ve never judged myself based on what type of car I drive or what clothes I wear or where I go on vacation. They all seem so trivial to me. Success is how I feel in my soul, whether or not I end the day by being able to say that I’ve made a difference in the world. And that question (along with its cousin of whether or not I am truly a good person) has been keeping me up at night.

(Before people get too concerned, I still feel unbelievably blessed about my life. I have family and friends who support me through everything and I have had so many incredible experiences that I can’t imagine that the seven year old version of EC would have ever thought he would get to do them all. So, it’s not like I’m about to turn off all the lights in my apartment and listen to Cure CDs for the next six hours. But I am at the point in my life where I really need to figure out what it all means and I can’t blot out the world with Playstation games for much longer.)

Because of this, and a couple of other real life issues, it looks like I’ll be taking the rest of this week off from writing in the blog. I’ll come back to it next week though one of the big things I need to figure out is just what I want to do with the blog. I am serious about the novel, it is something that I just need to do, but I have to figure out how I can do that writing, and the blog, and do my real job and have a life all at the same time. That’s not the easiest thing from a time management standpoint, especially when I have a very limited amount of natural creativity. So, I need a week to think and refresh the batteries a little. My hope is that I can increase the quality of the blog, which has been lagging a lot recently. See you all in a week.