Can they let Raj talk to women already?

It is fascinating to find out that Penny and Leonard from The Big Bang Theory were actually dating in real life. Not in the sense that two people on the same show would date; that seems rather common and hell, if I was Johnny Galecki I’d date her in a second. More in the sense that for a real life couple they never really had very good chemistry when they were portraying a couple that was dating. You never could quite believe that they would actually be dating. Which means that acting real life is somehow more difficult than living real life thus explaining how the people on Jersey Shore still have the semblance of a career.

Not much else to write about tonight as all I did was watch Project Runway (Mondo wins again, Gretchen pouts, April acts tough and Michael apparently has a son.) They did hit on the reality show cliché in which everyone gets to see their family without any prior warning and they all break into tears. This has always bothered me a little on every show. No matter what the show the contestants always break down in tears. Even on a show like The Mole, where the game was essentially an extended European vacation, everyone acted as though they had not seen each other for two years. I wish shows would stop doing this.

Otherwise I think I am going to call it a week. It’s been nice to actually get a chance to sit down and write consistently. I’m going to try to keep up the pace. Have to do something now that the jigsaw puzzle is complete.

Joe the Plumber: Threat or Menace?

More than a few notes to end the week and I’ve just been in a list kind of mood.

1) In shocking news, I read today that Joe the Plumber is not a licensed plumber. So in fact he has been operating as some sort of black market criminal; unclogging toilets and installing drains in full violation of existing codes. This might put a crimp on his business plans but he still could rely on the slogan “Joe the Plumber: Because the fate of the nation rests in his greasy hands.”

2) Can I just say how upset I still am on the whole Joe the Plumber thing? Really this is the symbol of just how horribly the democratic system in America has fallen. We have gone from the Jeffersonian ideal of candidates discussing wide ranging issues impacting the future of the nation to two people sniping at each other as to how their policies will effect one person who, because his name is incorrectly filled out on his voter registration card, might not actually be eligible to vote. But this might have been part of McCain’s plan of winning the election one voter at a time.

3) Switching gears, Leanne won Project Runway!!!! Finally, my favorite contestant won a season of the show. True, Christian was the best designer last year but I just liked Chris Marsh better. Leanne was not only super cute in a Pacific Northwest granola type of way but she also put together a great collection. True, all of the pieces had the same waves and structural patterns in them but they were all different and cohesive. Even better, while you knew that there was an insane amount of work behind them they all seemed so natural and you could imagine a real person wearing the outfits. As opposed to Kenley’s massive shoulderpad designs.

4) There was only one thing that could have made the ending of the show better. After they announced Leanne the winner I would have loved it if she immediately turned around to Kenley and yelled “Scoreboard bitch!” That would have been an ending.

5) In retrospect, there is only one other note that I would like to make to the debate live blog. During the abortion portion of the debate I would have immediately pledged my vote to either candidate if he would have pledged “Abortions for some, small American flags for others.” Ah, I remember Emperor Kang. Now there was a leader you could trust.

6) Here is the strange thing about living in Wilmington, Delaware. When you write out a check to pay your credit card bill you suddenly realize that you are literally mailing it down the street. I feel like I should just stop by and pay them in cash or something. Well, that is not the only strange thing about living in Wilmington. Waking up every morning, realizing that you are in Delaware and struggling with exactly why you are there is also a bit of a disconcerting experience.

7) Best idea for a Halloween costume I have heard yet: a flip cup game. Just wear a table around your neck, place some plastic cups on the table, and challenge all comers to a game. I’ll probably just grab my backpack and put on my matching red and white striped shirt and hat and go as Waldo again.

8) I’d like to wish a happy Sweetest Day to my….to my….ok, applications for the position of Sweetie are available upon request. Please form an orderly queue. Seriously, I’m very close to creating a match.com profile just because I think it would be funny.

Lightening the mood

Since things have been rather serious and dour as of late I feel that it is very important for me to bring the nation’s focus back where it belongs. Such as sitting in stunned disbelief after finding out that Jamie Lynne Spears is preggers again only four months after giving birth. Yes, Brittney’s little sister is playing catch up by having Irish twins before the age of eighteen. I somehow feel that a return to Nickelodeon isn’t in the cards at the moment. Unless we could use her as a star of “Clarissa Explains How She Made Some Really Bad Choices In Life” or “You Can’t Do That If You Were Using Birth Control.”

(The story is she didn’t think she could get pregnant because she was nursing at the time. I assume that her first pregnancy was due to the belief that you can’t get pregnant if you do it standing up or you can’t get pregnant if the day ends in a Y.)

Also, we are now down to the final contestants on Project Runway. Kenley the bitch makes it to the finale and as much as I hate her, based on the wedding and bridesmaid dresses she made she deserves to go. She was easily better than Kotto and Jerrel even if this is like the twelfth time she has acted stunned when someone said that her dress reminds them of another designers. Leanne, who is my favorite, put together two absolutely amazing pieces. The wedding dress was super cool and looked like something that both the bride and the mother of the bride could like but for totally different reasons. Her bridesmaid dress was actually pretty and when was the last time you said that about one of those.

(Yes, I like Leanne partly because she looks like Cat Power and is from Portland. Sue me, I just dig that style. Was bummed when her boyfriend got screen time tonight.)

In other media news I am rather disturbed by seeing Ashton Kutcher in commercials for Canon. Less because of my feelings towards Canon (fine camera products one and all) and more for the reason that I have no desire to see him on my television set at any time. I can’t even bring myself to watch reruns of That 70’s Show, though to be honest any episode in which Donna isn’t a redhead isn’t worth watching on general principle. I don’t want to see Ashton acting all goofy at a wedding. I don’t want to see him snapping pictures. I want to see him getting hit in the head repeatedly with a two by four. Now that would make a great commercial for Home Depot.

I’ll end with another quick discussion of the economy. Now when I say that I have watched the market for 25 years I am not kidding. My dad showed me how to read the financial pages when I was ten. I learned how understand stock symbols and make sense of the mass of numbers that filled the boring section of the newspaper. This was back in the day when stocks traded in eighths. We couldn’t even afford decimal points.

So I was paying attention when the 1987 crash went down. Now in some ways that was more destructive than what we are going through now. It was certainly quicker and more disturbing. Both took place in October as all crashes take place in October. It’s kind of a financial law. What is more interesting to look at is how the average person is impacted psychologically as opposed to financially.

Remember that we live in a much different world than we did 21 years ago. The average person had to wait until they read the stock pages the next day to find out where there stocks were and even then they could only make a rough estimate as to where there portfolio was. Everything took place in the mysterious world of Wall Street and it was an almost mystical place. Honestly, adults looked at me like a freak because I could figure out what a stock was trading at mainly because they had no idea how to read those pages.

Today everyone is an expert and can find out instantaneously. We all can jump on Yahoo and find the value of all of our stocks. If we want to be fancy we could build spreadsheets to automatically calculate our position. If not we can jump on a website and see the value of our 401K to the penny. As a result, peoples’ focus is constantly on the market. That makes life hell because if there is one thing you don’t want to do is look at those numbers on a minute by minute basis. Right now all you get is depressed. Long term all it does is force you to make bad decisions because those little fluctuations do not matter. The reason people are on edge now more than in 1987 is partly due to the fact that more of us are in the market than before. But mainly it is because the moment by moment changes to the market are broadcast to us instantaneously. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.

The Road Not Taken...

I can’t believe that the president decided that the best time to speak to the nation was during a new episode of Project Runway. Doesn’t he know anything? We as a nation have priorities and at the top of the list is a reality show featuring designers fighting for an opportunity to showcase at a fashion event that matters to no one other than people in the fashion industry. Seriously, it’s not like the U.S. economy is collapsing or anything. Oh yeah, my bad.

(They better be keeping Kenley around because she makes for a great villain. I’d have a huge crush on her (because I totally dig the retro Betty Page look) if it wasn’t for the fact that she is just a total bitch. Instead I’ll continue to long for Leanne who actually looks like someone I could potentially date.)

Driving around town the past few days I have found myself in a very interesting quandary. I will often drive past both Garden of Eden Lane and Snuff Mill Road and I cannot decide which road scares me more by name alone. I can’t bring myself to drive down either of them because of what might be at the end of the road.

Now for Sunff Mill Road that makes perfect sense. You drive down that road and you know that you have stepped foot into a horror movie. At some point you are going to drive by some old, run down building and have your car break down just as you hear the screams of the damned coming from the distance. There will be continual references to the location of a ballroom and a prom that went tragically wrong. If I drove past the old Snuff Mill I would be greatly disappointed if I got out of the car and did not see a hook hanging from the passenger door.

Garden of Eden Lane seems much more inviting. Maybe paradise is waiting for you at the end of the road. There are a few problems with this though. First off, the road is in Delaware. I haven’t consulted with my theologian-on-call about this but I’m pretty sure that the Garden of Eden mentioned in the Bible is not located in Delaware. In addition, I’m not sure what paradise in Delaware would consist of. I could only hope that it contains roads with more than one lane and adequate parking. But my biggest concern is what if you drive down the road to paradise and find out that you don’t particularly like it? Imagine being told “Here is perfection in all its glory” and have your first thought be “Is that all? I expected it to be a lot bigger. And at least have a Baskin-Robbins.”

For some reason I think I’ll tempt the guy with a chainsaw over finding out that paradise isn’t what I had anticipated. At least he looks like he’s a hockey fan.

Wednesday Night Music Club: In a bit of a Damien Rice mood tonight so here is he and the band (including the ever lovely Lisa Hannigan) performing Volcano at Abbey Road studios.

Batman and bobbins

Since I know that people will be asking for it I’ll just post it now. Here are my initial opinions on the first episode of Project Runway. First off, does every female contestant have long straight black hair? Now that isn’t really a complaint on my part, since I really dig the look and it pretty much assures that there will be one contestant I like due to her look alone making it deep into the show, but I seriously cannot tell any of them apart. Also, if I have to listen to that douchebag say “girlicious” every freaking episode someone is going to pay big time. I hate people who try to come up with their own catchphrase. It is like giving yourself a nickname, it is just not acceptable. Such as calling yourself Suede. Once I saw that I figured that I should just rename myself Pleather or 90% Rayon.

As to the winners and losers I pretty much agreed. Even someone with as little fashion sense as me realized how horrible Jerry’s outfit was. I mean, it was a white shower curtain on top of more white and had almost no form whatsoever. The yellow gloves also gave it that whole murederous housewife vibe. Kelli’s skirt (made of vacuum cleaner bags and colored with bleach, dye and apparently cigarette burns) turned out rather stunning. On first look I had a Jackson Pollack feel going where you didn’t know if it was going to be art or noise. It came out on the art side and she won as well. Overall, not a strong showing by the cast but it is only the first episode.

(And yes, I obviously admit to watching Project Runway. For some reason I find it a very interesting show. You’ve got cool contestants, since it is fashion everyone can have an opinion on who is better, and I get to watch scantily clad women walk around. Pretty much a win-win all around. Only thing that could beat it is the return of Australia’s Next Top Model, which is the same as America’s Next Top Model except with much cooler accents.)

So the big thing this weekend is the new Batman movie. I doubt that I will go see it this weekend but I will probably check it out during the week (at least that way I’ll be able to avoid some of the crowds). Now while I will always admit to being a Marvel guy more than a DC guy I have to admit that the Batman character is rather cool. In fact, he is probably the least DC like of any of their major heroes and that is what makes him great.

What bothered me most about DC comics as a kid is that their heroes were basically gods. That is what Superman is. He’s just this undestructible force with an inscrupulous moral code. Wonder Woman falls into the same realm. Then you have Green Lantern (the space traveler with a bizarre weakness to the color yellow) and Martian Manhunter (a Martian) and Aquaman (less of a superhero and more of a host of an exhibit at SeaWorld.) Those aren’t heroes you can relate to easily. That is the wonder of Spider Man (who is a bit of a loser teenager) or the X Men (teenage outcasts) and Iron Man (a lovable drunk). I know what that is like.

Batman, on the other hand, is different. Because at the end of the day Batman is entirely human. All he has are his wits and his inventions and his focus. No super powers, no magical gifts, just a man with his flaws taking on evil. That makes for a great character because you can play to his weaknesses. Plus there is the entire fact that he is a vigilante. In fact, he is a lawbreaker. There is the entire ethical dilemma of whether or not Batman is in fact doing the right thing by going outside the law to stop crime. That makes for some heady plots. And it sure sounds like the movie hits on them. Should be a good one to check out.