Monday, July 21, 2008

Dust and boredom

To give a sense of the fun filled, action packed lifestyle that I am currently leading I spent most of the evening cleaning my apartment. And when I say cleaning I mean actually cleaning. This goes beyond vacuuming, something I should do much more often than I actually do. No, tonight I even dusted my coffee table. This is one of those events that happens roughly once a year. I spend a good month looking at the books, realizing there is a nice layer of filth built up upon them and then I spend another month hoping that the cleaning elves will appear and take care of the entire situation. Of course at some point I break down and do it myself. Still better than last night, which featured more laundry than I would care to admit.

I guess that is another one of the strange things about being unemployed; your entire schedule is put out of whack. Now when I worked I would never put this much effort into cleaning on a Monday. I’d be tired from work and would just spend the night crashed out on my couch. By now I’d be already in bed. But since I have nowhere to go tomorrow, lots of things to do but nowhere in particular to do them, I really can spend the night doing whatever it is that I want. Sometimes that means mucho enjoyment for myself. At other times it is a case of working in the evening because I slept in this morning.

Maybe that is as simple an explanation of what my life has been life recently. The events that had been making my life unbelievably interesting (which weren’t discussed much here because doing so would violate the Battling the Current bylaws) have subsided and I am really into job search drudgery. Wake up, spend time online, send out resumes, have the occasional interview and hope to hear positive news. It’s too damn hot to do much of anything outside and since everyone I know is working I don’t have too many people to bum around with during the day. I really shouldn’t complain as I am still getting paid to sit around but I am nearing the point where I need something to happen.

I think that is what has been bothering me the most these past few weeks. My life has really fallen into a state of limbo and it is bugging me to no end. I don’t want to get started on anything big in town (from personal relationships to starting a jigsaw puzzle) because I simply don’t know how long I’ll be here. But I can only stay in that state for so long. I am someone who needs a routine and tasks and goals. Living an open ended life is fun for a little while but right now I need checklists and targets. I at least need to move from a month to month existence. That just bothers me. I already have a hankering to settle down in life; now I’m even farther from that point.

Still, at least I get to celebrate Pi Approximation day tomorrow. That is always fun for me. I’ll feel better after reciting a few thousand digits.

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