Thursday, January 31, 2008

My five go to mix tape songs

It’s always great when someone provides a topic for me. So, what would be the five songs that I would put on a mix tape? First, let’s define what the mix tape is for. I’ll go with the classic “trying to impress a girl I barely know but would like to know much better” format. You know, the “you went out once or twice and have talked but have not yet become an official item” point where you feel that this tape will put you over the top and win her heart.

I’ll also go on the assumption that my packaging for this mix tape (actually CD) will simply be a CD case with the track listing (featuring artist, song title and original disc) nicely formatted as a cover page with a clever title to the entire package. On the advice of my good friend Renee I will not be including eight pages of liner notes as apparently that is just on this side of not paying for dinner on my list of bad ideas. Doing so has now been referred to as the mix tape equivalent of going to the girl’s house and holding a boom box over your head. And as opposed to the Battling the Current discs I will not be including a picture of Snoopy as I’ll leave that discussion to when the other party sees the fine art print that hangs in my apartment.

There are certain criteria for the songs that will be included. I will follow the advice of Henry Rollins that states that upon first meeting a woman every guy tries to immediately prove that he is straight, disease free and not a serial killer. That will rule out any Indigo Girls, Jane’s Addiction or Cannibal Corpse tracks. I also will avoid any song that is so popular that she should already own it. You are not allowed to include U2’s “With or Without You” from The Joshua Tree. If you have an incredibly rare live version of the song you might be able to get away with it. Finally, my main goal beyond using these songs to prove to her that I am in fact her soul mate is to show my superior taste in music. This should mean that I include obscure songs from well known artists and amazing songs from obscure artists. However, they should be accessible artists so I have to avoid the discs where I am one of ten people who own it.

Anyway, here are the five that I would choose with YouTube clips where I can find them. This isn’t a precise order but I’d be confident these would all make the cut.

Beth Orton “Conceived”: Let’s start with a pretty obvious one. When the first date conversation turns to music Beth is one of the first names that I mention, which might be one of my problems. She’s known but not that well known. I love her music and this will quickly show that I am a sensitive type. Also, it is a rare upbeat song from her catalog as “She Cries Your Name” probably wouldn’t fit here. Random Note 1: You could also use a rare track titled “The Next Day” here, which has the brilliant line “They got married and divorced on the same day” in it. Random Note 2: I have no idea why this video features puppets.



Josh Ritter “Lawrence, KS”: I’m not sure if I only have two months of using this song or if it will become better after I leave town. It has one of my absolute favorite lines of all time “I’ve been from here to Lawrence, Kansas trying to leave my state of mind.” First off, this would showcase my knowledge of an up and coming artist who is being compared to Dylan and Springsteen and I can talk about meeting him a few years back. Second, I can use this to explain away my time in Kansas. Great choice either way (and this was on Battling the Current Volume 1)



The Frames “Fitzcarraldo”: Specifically, I am including the ten minute live version from The Roads Outgrown. Now that might be too long of a track for a mix tape but it is a) just utter brilliance and b) ends with Glen Hansard saying “this is the best life a man could ever want.” There is a great plan to including this song. I get to mention that the lead singer is the guy from the movie Once and has been Oscar nominated for the music. If she has seen the film then we have an obvious point in common and she realizes my artistic, romantic side. If not, I recommend that we watch the movie and the two of us watch a romantic movie together. Win/win proposition. Random Note 3: This video is insanely old but it’s the only one that I can find.



The Postal Service “Such Great Heights”: Ok, grant me one cliché on the list. Maybe she’ll think that this is her chance to relive Garden State. If I intentionally dishevel my hair I look vaguely like Zach Braff. Plus, I doubt anyone would complain about acting as Natalie Portman. Plus, it’s a known song from commercials and you really do need to include one song that the other person already knows.



Ryan Adams “Monday Night”: This is it. This is my make or break song. I’ll either win her heart with this one or never talk to her again. It’s from an artist she at least should have heard of (if she hasn’t that is a major strike against her) but she will not have heard this song before. There is no video of it and I have only seen it on an old Bloodshot Records compilation disc but it is the best description of myself and what I am looking for in music form. Here is the chorus.

“All I want is to roll through your fingers baby. All I want is to make it alright. All I want is to be your connection, win your affection, be your reflection on a Monday night.”

Trusting my romantic life to Ryan Adams is probably not the wisest thing in the world. But I haven’t found anything that beats this song. That’s what I’m looking for, someone who will be my reflection on a Monday night. Can’t put it any simpler than that.

Super Blog IV on Sunday! I’m preparing my Tom Petty jokes as we speak.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Let the melody carry...



Wednesday Night Music Club: I know I’ve talked about Josh Rouse before and he is one of the few people to make all three volumes of the Battling the Current CDs but I have to talk about him some more. There is probably no one that I am listening to more right now. It’s not as if the music is extremely complicated or anything. At its best it is just Josh and his guitar. I just love these songs. Here is maybe one of the most romantic songs I know, which would be great if I actually had someone to share this with on a mix tape.

(Yes, mix tapes are pretty much my ultimate form of self-expression.)

Some good news tonight as we just demolished the competition in trivia. It was a team effort but I added my fair share to help me confirm that I didn’t do too much damage to myself last week. If I can still remember who is the goalie on the US Women’s Soccer team I figure that I can remember pretty much anything. It was also nice to know that for once the theme to Too Close For Comfort was actually the theme song in question. A common category is name the theme song and any time it is a vague instrumental with horns I always answer Too Close For Comfort. Maybe it is just so that people will remember the career of Jim J. Bullock. It’s either that or Hollywood Squares.

As you can tell, there really isn’t much going on. Especially given that I just spent the past fifteen minutes scanning celebrity gossip sites searching for something to write about. Apparently the best subject is the fact that Dr. Phil isn’t really a doctor. Or at least he isn’t licensed anywhere. This is nothing new as if I remember correctly Dr. Joyce Brothers had no qualifications other than she brought her own microphone to the studio. It’s just a case where we need talking heads for television and throwing a doctor in front of their name tends to be good for business.

I was just about to rip on people who watch things like Dr. Phil to get their life in order but that would be a little hypocritical of me. That’s because I’m the person who goes to the bookstore and buys self help guides. Not a lot of them but I have guides on how to better organize my life (as well as Mystery’s handbook on how to, uh, attract women by being a total douche). There is that strange belief that we all have that wisdom is maintained somewhere, whether in a book or a television show. It’s as if the answer is somewhere and I personally prefer it to come with graphs and bullet points.

I don’t think things are that simple but I will say this (and maybe it explains why I’ve been jonesing on Josh Rouse all week.) Obviously I’ve been under a lot of stress lately. When I drove to work yesterday I put on The Polyphonic Spree and my entire mood changed. I wanted to take on the world. That’s what music does for me. Certain songs can turn around my life. Maybe that is the best therapy that I can find.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

I think I've lost all this city's confidence

Since I alluded to it last night I figured I might as well explain the situation that I find myself in. The people who I work with who read this blog deserve to know about it firsthand while everyone else should just know about it in general. It’s probably one of the biggest decisions that I’ll make. To make it easier, I’ll do this in convenient question and answer form.

Q: So your company is planning to lay off 4,000 employees?
A: Yep, that’s what the press release said.
Q: Did you get offered a separation package?
A: Got notified of it about a week and a half ago. Surprisingly, this happened on the exact same day that all of my possessions were packed into boxes due to the fact that I was moving cubicles. It felt like I had just been fired and security was going to help me carry my boxes to the car.
Q: Oh my God, have you been fired? Or let go?
A: Neither, let’s make that point clear up front. There is nothing involuntary at this point. What happened is that everyone in my department was offered the opportunity to raise their hand and receive a separation package (for me, slightly more than 4 months pay) if they wanted to leave.
Q: So what are you planning on doing?
A: I’ve officially (knock on wood) raised my hand to be considered for the package.
Q: Seriously?
A: Yep.
Q: So you’re leaving?
A: Not exactly, I haven’t made my mind up on that yet. What I’ve done is asked to be considered. In a few weeks they’ll tell me if they’ve accepted my application or not. I’ll either find out that I am so valuable to the company that they can’t allow me to leave, which would be a great ego boost while making me wonder why they don’t pay me more, or they’ll say “Go ahead, don’t let the door hit you where the good Lord split you.”
Q: They’ll actually say that?
A: Well, something like that. At that point I’ll have 45 days more or less to decide if I want to go through with it and officially leave the company.
Q: So you are planning on giving up a job where “surfing the internet” was actually written into your job description?
A: I’m not saying that this is going to be an easy decision. I enjoy what I do and have learned more about the human condition than I probably ever will again. Including some things I really wish I could unlearn. But anyone who has read this blog for any period of time knows that I’m at a crossroads in my life and a change is definitely needed.
Q: Could you explain this for those who have not read all 835 previous blog posts?
A: Well, the easiest one is that KC just isn’t the right town for me. It’s not as bad as I sometimes paint it but this isn’t a place for a guy who is in his mid-thirties and single. Especially given that I don’t have any family in the area. I feel really alone out here sometimes and I’ve gotten sick of it. I always thought that I’d stay if I met the girl of my dreams. There are some who will have argued that I met two who would have qualified and I screwed up both of them. Three if you count the girl who already had a boyfriend. Personally, I am no longer holding out hope that I’ll find a fourth in this town.
Q: Ok, that’s the town. That doesn’t explain leaving your job.
A: It’s not that I don’t like what I do; it’s more like I just want a change. My job is trivial in the sense that what I sell and study is just conspicuous consumption. That’s not a bad thing (most of our economy is built upon it) but it’s not quite what I had in mind in my career. To go from being in the control room of a nuclear reactor as a 21 year old to discussing Shakira ringers as a 34 year old is not exactly the best career path.
Q: So what are you going to do?
A: I don’t have a friggin clue.
Q: That’s impossible, you’re the guy who has detailed five year plans for his entire life. You must have some idea what is going to happen next?
A: It’s more ideas right now than plans. Most likely I will try to get back to Chicago to be back home amongst family and friends. I could still try one last adventure purely on my own but it would have to be a town that fits this point in my life. Austin and Seattle would for example, while moving to Topeka would be out of the question. As for what I’ll do for a living that is really up in the air. Might stay in the same field I’m in now, might jump back into corporate finance, might try investment banking or could end up back in the wonderful world of high voltage power lines. It’s all out there on the table for me.
Q: How does that make you feel?
A: Scared to death. You wouldn’t want to imagine my anxiety levels the past few weeks. Sitting with huge unknowns is not the way I like to face life. I’m trying to turn this into a positive. Not too many other people in their mid-30’s could slam on the brakes and completely reevaluate their life without being criticized for having a mid-life crisis.
Q: What in the world will you do if you are being paid not to work?
A: Figure that I’ll finally have time to write my novel and get Insufficient Monkeys Publishing started. That should take up much of my time.
Q: Insufficient Monkeys? What the hell is that?
A: It’s what I want to name my publishing company. The idea is that given infinite monkeys you could write Hamlet so obviously my biggest problem is that I have insufficient monkeys. Any of my lawyers out there who want to help me with the paperwork on getting this one started please let me know.
Q: So it might really be time for you to leave Kansas City?
A: Looks that way.
Q: Then one last question. Would the blog still be at kcgatsby.blogspot.com?
A: I assume so. I figure that I’ll be paddling upstream no matter where I go in this world.

Wow, Kansas has a governor now...

Does the amount of clapping at the State of the Union address bother anyone else? I always get this sense that I am watching the Soviet Politburo again. The “Oh crap, someone stood up to cheer. Now I have to do the same.” True, it is better than having people randomly yell out “you suck” but it is a very odd tradition.

I at least listened to the address while doing some work. That beat my original plan of watching Monday Night Raw instead. So for the record I am more interested in the future of the country than the return of John Cena. It was a rather boring address. I would like it more if people would point out that the reason we are pulling some troops from Iraq is because their tours are up and we have no one to replace them but those details get in the way of a good story. Oh well, at least I’ll be able to vote in a primary that might actually matter next week.

(One last Simpsons note from last night. Nice to see Kurt Loder get work. Actually, nice to have proof that Kurt is still with us. Sigh, I miss the Week in Rock. Mainly I just miss Tabitha Soren but the Week in Rock was still pretty cool.)

Proof that Western Civilization is declining faster than previously calculated: Your number one film at the box office this week was Meet the Spartans. Yes, a movie that couldn’t provide a single laugh throughout the entire trailer, one that featured both a Donald Trump and a Deal or No Deal joke, was the most watched film. Look, I’m not expecting everyone to go out and see There is a Strong Possibility that Blood will be Spilt or Juno: Because Teen Pregnancy is Hilarious but Meet the Spartans? Can’t we all show slightly better taste than that?

Personally, I blame the fact that Cloverfield was filmed in Blair Witch-o-vision for all of this. If they actually kept the camera still for long enough so that people aren’t physically ill from watching the movie maybe you’ll get some repeat viewers.

Not much else to write about tonight. Actually I have one hugely important thing to write about but I’m still trying to figure out how and when to discuss it. If you know my current situation you know exactly what it is. Let’s just say that my future is unwritten for the time being.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Now excuse me, I have to buy a mint condition Funzo

In something that I'm not entirely proud of, I read Parade magazine today. It's not something that I usually do and it certainly does not paint me as one of the intelligentsia but there you are. Sometimes you just need to look at a Howard Huge cartoon. Anyway, what caught my eye was an advertisement for a Simpsons holiday decoration. Essentially a Christmas tree covered with Simpsons characters.

Now this raises two simple questions. The first is "Just how much has Fox whored out the Simpsons franchise?" I mean, it's not like we are talking about high quality merchandise here. These aren't the collectible figures that, uh, take up most of my spare bedroom (oh, like you don't own every variation of Comic Book Guy). This will probably fall apart upon exiting the box it came in. I'm all for profit but this is just on this side of releasing commemorative plates.

The second part is that this is Christmas decoration. Or as they put it "seasonal" though the fact that Homer was driving a sleigh would seem to indicate a particular season. Now my question is is the target market for this people who decide to celebrate Christmas two months later? Or have we now reached the point where the Christmas season begins in January? That would probably be easier on retailers. Just don't bother taking the decorations down, it's holiday sales all year round. Sigh. Oh well, at least Love Day is coming soon.

I did watch the new Simpsons tonight as well, which seems to have created a temporal warp within the Simpsons universe. So Homer was a part of the Be Sharps, which won a Grammy over Dexy's Midnight Runners for the song "Baby On Board" about Lisa. But now we find out that Marge and Homer weren't married until the 90's with Marge going to college. A college that seemed to span the entire decade as Homer invents grunge while singing in a boy band while listening to the Verve's Bittersweet Symphony. This means Bart was born a decade after he was born. I am might confused.

Ok, the entire episode was an excuse for 90s jokes and I'm not sure if I'm fond of my college years being mined for nostalgia. It's interesting that Nirvana jokes are now considered reasonable. Apparently the end of Kurt's life is now a comedy gold mine. Though I'll admit that some of the Nirvana inspired songs were pretty darn good. They weren't obvious parodies and were subversive enough to be cool.

Plus I gained my new motto from this episode. When you're tired of Weird Al, you're tired of life.

(No random CDs this week. Last week got so screwed up I haven't finished listening to those yet. But in the words of the Infinite Improbability Drive "We have reached normality. Any problems that you still can't deal with are your own damn fault.")

Thursday, January 24, 2008

And don't get me started on Nermal

There is something very odd about hearing “Your cholesterol is a little high” from your doctor while you’re obsessing over just how many serious injuries you may have inflicted upon yourself. It’s like being in a technical discussion of the formation of hurricanes and being told “You know, clouds look really fluffy.” Yes, it’s obviously true but it’s beside the point.

(That was probably the least surprising medical evaluation I have received in my entire life. I know the way I eat. I’m surprised that I don’t sweat Crisco.)

I know I haven’t explained this medical misadventure, though I probably should have. It would have helped to keep me from obsessing about it as much. Basically I do want to reassure everyone that I am fine and have been told so by several doctors. I basically need to rest and most of all relax. My stress levels have been higher than they have ever been and if you knew the way I was in classes just imagine what that must be like. I did feel like myself for the most part today and that is what I needed to have happen.

I will say that I am glad that Mary Kate Olsen doesn’t own my apartment as I wouldn’t want to put her through any more stress at the moment. Did anyone read that part of the Heath Ledger tragedy? It’s not so much as he was found in an apartment she owned. I’m pretty sure that when she, uh, “enrolled” at NYU she bought an entire apartment building. It’s that when they found Heath the first thing they did was call Mary Kate. That was before dialing 911. I understand that the rich are different from you and I. First of all, they have money. Apparently, they also can provide immediate medical care over the phone. Actually, given that Tom Cruise video out on the interwebs…

Oh, I never commented on the comment earlier this week. I basically don’t comment on Scientology because they are really, really adamant about shutting down people who talk about them. I was around in 1994 when they took out the Anon server and reigned down havoc on the newsgroups. You know, back when people used the internet to read badly written reviews of pro wrestling and download porn. Ok, the purpose hasn’t changed but at least we are no longer using 2400 baud modems. On Scientology, I’ll just say this. You always should be at least marginally skeptical of anything founded by a science fiction writer. As Moe said on The Simpsons, I was born a snake handler and I’m going to die a snake handler.

On the other part of the comment, I’d always take Bucky Katt over Garfield. Though in all honesty I’m much more of a fan of Satchel myself. That’s just who I am, my favorite character on South Park is Butters. The strange thing is how in the world did Garfield ever become this massive success? Really, what is there to that strip when you dig into it at any level? An obese cat who doesn’t like Mondays, a dumb dog and a dumber owner. Yet that’s one of the biggest successes of all time. I’ve just started reading the biography of Charles Schultz and how his life impacted the strip. I don’t see that book ever being written about Garfield.

Ok, I’m calling it a night. I’m really glad that I wrote this post tonight. It feels just like it does when I’ve written all of the other ones in the past. At certain points this week I didn’t know if that was going to be the case. To all of those who have asked how I’m doing, thanks. I really appreciate it.

Cheating again

Sorry, no real post again. More medical time, though I think I may have finally put my mind at ease regarding the situation. So, to add some levity to the situation, here are band names that would be impossible to book (courtesy of McSweeneys)

No Event Scheduled

Open Date

Postponed

All Ages w/No Cover

Renovating

Private Party

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Best nomination since Before Sunset



For once I get to be happy about Oscar nominations. Glen got nominated for an Oscar! It’s tough to explain how cool this is for me. I’ve been talking about how awesome the Frames are for nearly four years and now the lead singer just received an Oscar nod for a song he wrote. I’m just glad that the guy is finally getting the recognition that he deserves. He might actually win as well as his main competition are three songs from Enchanted. We can only hope for the best.

(Actually, what we can hope for is that there will be an actual Oscar ceremony and that Glen and Markeeta will be allowed to perform. That would be awesome.)

It’s going to be another quick post tonight as I am feeling better but still am not quite myself. Saw a doctor today and wasn’t given a complete clean bill of health but enough of one that I should probably be able to make it into the office tomorrow. Sadly, my weight and my drinking are now both subjects of interest for my doctor and I’ll have to address both. I can’t really argue with either of those. I am carrying too much weight for my frame, not a significant amount but definitely too much. As for the other one, let’s just say that I will be significantly cutting back in the near term. This weekend has proven to be quite a fright to me. One day I might explain why.

I did watch The Biggest Loser tonight, which might become a worthwhile obsession now. Let me state that for the record I am probably not fat. I’m six foot one and slightly over 200 pounds, which is over the 190 maximum that I am supposed to weigh. So it’s not like I’m pleasantly plump or anything. The biggest issue is that it’s not like I carry much muscle mass so I do have a bit of a tummy. I think the bigger concern is that if I just keep on putting on weight things will get very bad very quickly.

So I watch The Biggest Loser with interest as someone who wants to lose weight but also as a reality TV junkie. The TV junkie is the one that feels better. In a two hour episode I believe that the only weight loss advice I received was “eat a healthy breakfast” and “work out”. Oh and work on you core for balance. It’s not really an advice type of show. What it really is is a Survivor type elimination show where poor performers (or people viewed as threats) are sent home. That might be the most bizarre aspect of the show.

I mean, it’s a show about people who are significantly overweight getting a chance to completely change their lives. Except every week we tell some of them to go home, we don’t want you anymore. It might be the cruelest aspect of any show I’ve ever seen. You can be pissed for losing on Survivor or The Amazing Race but it doesn’t impact your overall well being. Here you’re asking contestants to risk other people’s health as part of a show. It’s kind of bizarre.

That said, glad the yellow team survived. For a divorced couple they are rather inspiring. They probably won’t win but they sure try their hardest.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Life after people

Another quick entry tonight as I’m feeling slightly better but still not my regular self. The good news is that I was able to get some work today so I was at least minorly productive. The bad news is that I did spend most of the afternoon sitting in a chair with a blanket over me listening to three hours of ESPN dissecting the football games. Different shows, exact same analysis. Kind of bizarre, really.

Ok, so I just finished watching Life After People, which given the state that I’m currently in might not be the best choice imaginable. I probably could have done without seeing a corroded Sears Tower crumbling into the ground destroying what was left of the Chicago skyline. That’s not entirely what I needed to see on a Monday. Still, the entire idea behind the show (and the book that spawned it) is rather interesting. What would happen if we just got rid of the human race?

Some animals would thrive and others would have more of a challenge. Depending on the breed, dogs may be able to revert back to their natural wolf like state. Poodles would probably have a poor time of it, though they may have gained an inner toughness due to being called Fifi all the time. Birds would probably have a field day and fish would finally get to live in a state where they a) don’t have to worry about worms with hooks in them and b) don’t have to deal with people throwing garbage in their homes. But on that level, life would survive.

The big thing though is that there would be very little remnant of who we are in just a hundred or two hundred years. Nature would reclaim cities very quickly. Wood buildings would rot and decay. Iron and steel will rust. Vines will climb buildings and after time gravity will take its toll and simply bring the structures to the ground. Our culture will disappear as books and paintings decay and film distinegrates. Even computer discs and drives will eventually fall apart (after all of the manuals for them had disappeared making it a bit of a moot point). Fast forward a thousand or ten thousand years and all you have left are a few stone buildings that might make it. Maybe Mount Rushmore.

It’s just a sign of how small we really are. All we are is a blip in the history of the Earth. In the history of the universe we wouldn’t even merit a footnote. I’m not sure how I want to interpret that fact. In a way I can take comfort that the planet would continue without me even if I disappeared. That life in some way would find a way to continue. On the other hand, I would like there to be something to remember me by when I’m gone. Or maybe, just maybe, this means that I should just enjoy the present as much as I can. I’ll have to think about it.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Ugh...

Apologies in advance. I feel like absolute crap right now and today has not been one of my better days. I don't even want to explain it. Given everything else that is going on in my life this is the least thing that I needed to have happen to me.

So, I'm going to cheat tonight and post a McSweeney's list. It's a lot funnier than what I would write right about now.

Things I'd Probably Say If The Bush Administration Were A Weekly TV Show And I Were A Regular Viewer

  • Now, see, you can't just go and do something like that. That would be illegal.
  • Boy, someone's gonna get fired for that.
  • Wasn't that the one who made all the mistakes? Why is she getting promoted?
  • Come on, in real life you'd never get away with something like that.
  • They really expect us to believe that?
  • Am I the only one confused here?
  • Does this make any sense to you?
  • Why is this still on?

Thankfully I don't have to work tomorrow. Hopefully I'll feel human again.

The five random CDs for the week:

1) Feist "The Reminder"

2) The Blacks "Just Like Home"

3) Soul Asylum "The Silver Lining"

4) Black 47 "Live in New York City"

5) The Polyphonic Spree "The Fragile Army"

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Running on empty

Really low on topics today so I’m just going to post whatever is floating through my head right now…

Item # 1: For those wondering where I stand on the whole “Did Katie Holmes really run the entire New York City marathon?” my answer is no she didn’t. There are a few reasons behind my belief. The first is that she was very vague on her experience, which is odd because most marathoners I know could discuss every detail. She also supposedly only trained for a month or two, which is really unexpected. But there are two big facts that I point to that indicate that something funny is going on. The first is that she was not wearing a sports bra. Based on the opinions I’ve read online, you would be insane to do a marathon without one. Or at least use strategically placed band aids.

But my biggest issue is that she was at a movie premiere that night in heels. There is no way that is possible. I was at the finish line of the London Marathon this year and those people did not look like they wanted to walk a red carpet. They looked like every muscle in their body ached. Even if she only did a 12 minute mile pace you still went 26 miles. If you haven’t been training, your body just cannot adjust to that type of exertion. So I don’t buy her story at all.

Item # 2: I’m vaguely bummed that I do not get the USA network in HD as Monday Night Raw will be broadcast in HD starting next week. However, I think that it might fall into the category of “things you really do not want to watch in perfect clarity”. I’m not sure it will add to the experience. It’s up there with the arguments over the format for HD DVDs where everyone was wondering what format the, uh, videos in the back of the store were going to take. Except that even they were smart enough to just avoid the concept altogether.

Item # 3: Schools in KC were cancelled today because of two inches of snow. I don’t really have anything to add there other than kids today are so coddled it’s not even funny. It’s probably a rule that they all make the honor roll as well.

Item # 4: I’m moving out of my cubicle tomorrow and into another cubicle. Everything is packed up and ready to go, which gives my cube a very strange feeling. I’m one of those people who has the same pictures up on my walls for years and the fact that they’re not up there right now is really, really disconcerting. I mean, I’ve had four Dilbert cartoons on careers in engineering up on my wall since I was in college. To not have them there worries me. Oh well, at least I will be vaguely closer to a window now. Still won’t be able to see it but I’ll at least know it is there.

That’s it for the week. Enjoy the weekend everyone.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

What's in a name?



Wednesday Night Music Club: One of the interesting things about loading up the Zune is that I can now listen to The Brunettes at work. This is slightly dangerous as it is more upbeat than almost anything I am used to. I just had to load a live clip of them just so I could explain how they seem to use more instruments than people on any given song. The drummer is playing the saxophone at the start of this one. That’s not even taking into account the choreographed dance moves. Very high on my list of favorite bands that no one has ever heard of.

I’ve been playing around with Facebook and in looking at it I discovered something that I figured that a lot of people always wondered about but never understood. Since I’m really low on topics right now I figure I’ll answer this Infrequently Asked Question: “Is it Chris or Christopher?”

It’s a rather complicated answer, really. People who know me always call me Chris if they’re not calling me EC or dumbass or any of my other nicknames. But I sign everything as Christopher, all of my writing is officially done as Christopher and even on Facebook that is how I am shown. (The blog is by EC though as I tend to write as a character more than myself on occasion.) There is a reason as to why I personally prefer Christopher in almost every setting.

As a kid I always went by Chris. Other than signing my full name, I was perfectly content with the shortened version. There is a story of my grandfather looking at me as a baby and saying that Christopher is an awfully long name for such a little boy. I liked Chris up until about sixth grade. At that point something happened without my permission or knowledge and it bothers me to this day. In sixth grade Chris suddenly became a girl’s name. I’m not kidding, occasionally when someone was putting together handouts in school without knowing who I was they would assume that I was a girl.

This bothered me for the obvious reasons. Being the geek and the nerd was bad enough; having a girl’s name didn’t help matters. I was more upset because up until then I never heard anyone outside of Chris Evert use Chris in that manner. It was always Christine or Chrissie. Now it was apparently common and my name had been usurped. It sucked royally.

(Oh, and if you ever want to see me get royally angry call me Chrissie. There is nothing I hate more in the world than that name.)

So I slowly started to use Christopher for everything. It started in high school aided by the fact that there were at least four other Chrises in a class of 140. By college everything that I did for school was as Christopher, which proved a great benefit when the professor would return assignments. My last name is rather unpronounceable so all I had to do was hear Christopher and I’d go up and save the professor the work of figuring it out. By the time I started working I just felt like a Christopher. It’s formal and adult. Sounds like the name of someone who has his stuff together. That’s why I used it for Facebook.

I don’t have any problem with my friends calling me Chris. It’s relaxed and friendly and I don’t need to be super formal all the time. But at some point I decided that impressions matter and Christopher portrays who I am. At least until I legally change my name to Red Dragon.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Bill Gates knows cool

I’m not sure what concerns me more: the fact that the Wall Street Journal reported that my company is planning thousands of layoffs or the fact that when I log into my company’s intranet site I am greeted by an image that contains a black velvet painting of Elvis and a clown that looks way too much like Pennywise for my liking. Apparently this is a motivation tactic that no one told me about in grad school. “In a pinch, psychotic clowns are always useful in improving morale.”

Haven’t accomplished much tonight other than making some headway in my effort to copy all of my CDs. I don’t think I’ve mentioned it but I’ve picked up a new MP3 player. I got one for last Christmas and though I like it and still use it it is only a 4 GB flash player so I can’t go all out in terms of loading it with my CD collection. Hence as a present to myself I got myself a 30 GB Zune. Yeah, that’s right I got a Zune. That’s how uncool I am.

Well, that’s not true. First off, I am way cool. But more importantly I actually had a pretty valid reason for getting one. My music collection is almost entirely in CD form and I actually care about things like sound quality. I don’t need to feed an iTunes habit because I’ve simply never used iTunes. I don’t see a need to tie myself to one format and amazingly, Microsoft gives me a little more flexibility around just what I do with this thing. Doing the math, it still looks like it is going to be too small for my entire CD collection but it should be more than enough space for all the music I actually care about.

Oh, and since Microsoft forces me to name every single device this has been christened “Julie Version 2.0”. It’s smaller than the original Julie but has more memory and is easier to travel with. And yes, my screen background is a picture of Julie Delpy. I need to have something to look at every day that makes me happy.

Not much else going on today. Looks like we will get an inch or two of snow tomorrow, or as the forecasters here like to call it “a level 3 killstorm.” Honestly, I expect to see lines outside of supermarkets as people horde supplies in the event that it may take them slightly longer to get where they’re going.

Completely random note to end the night: I got an email earlier this week asking if I was interested in purchasing a forty thousand dollar painting. It’s a wonderful painting and a one of a kind original but I’m not sure if it is worth oh, I don’t know, everything I own. It would look great above my TV except that I would have to sell the TV in order to buy it. Still, it’s nice to know that my mailing lists think that I’m well off.

Monday, January 14, 2008

There are no second acts...

Note # 1 to people who deal with me in real life: After much cajoling I have finally put together a Facebook page. Or at least I’ve started one, it will take me a little time to flesh out the profile and the multimedia components. Oh, and get friends. I should probably work on that. Right now it shows that I have one friend. Kind of sad, really (but thanks Ann). Anyway, let me know if you’re on and we’ll become friends or allies or people who sit at the same lunch table in an attempt to look like people tolerate our company.

Note # 2 to people who deal with me in real life: Fair warning, I am in complete organization mode right now. This happens every six months or so when I decide that all that is keeping me from complete satisfaction is sufficient numbers of manila folders. This is always dangerous as I end up creating excel spreadsheets scheduling my life in fifteen minute increments. Also, I design to do lists so intricately detailed that “have dinner” is its own line item. So if I seem even more calculating than usual, or if you hear me discussing that I spent the evening filing my old credit card statements by month, you know why.

(The fact that I do this doesn’t frighten me. It’s the realization that if I wasn’t creative and if I wasn’t a writer I would be so far off the scale that standard deviations would no longer apply. Imagine if all I cared about really were numbers. Actually, don’t imagine that. It’s not a very pleasant thought.)

On to a topic that has been bothering me the past week or so. I was thinking about the Brittney Spears situation trying to figure out where the story will end. It dawned on me that we have reached the point where people will only be happy when it ends tragically. I’m completely serious here; I truly feel that our culture not only expects this to end badly but is actively hoping that it does. I can only compare it to a description I heard once about Altamont where someone said that the only way the night was going to end was with blood.

American culture loves nothing more than to build up an icon only to tear it down. That way we can marvel in the splendor while relishing in the schadenfreude. Typically though once they have had their tragic downfall we forget about them. It’s not as if anyone cares about Pee Wee Herman or Mike Tyson or any of the other fallen celebrities. They are an old punch line, reserved for appearances on decade retrospectives or The Surreal Life. The cameras disappear once they have hit bottom. This hasn’t been the case with Brittney. In fact, the attention has only gotten worse.

What are we watching for right now? We’ve already seen her marriage collapse and her kids taken away. We’ve seen her mentally breakdown to the point that she shaved her head. We’ve seen her set off to rehab and collapse in her comeback effort. Hell, I could tell you what she was wearing when she went out to get coffee last week. What are we hoping to see? Why are the cameras still there?

The only conclusion that I can make is that this is where we see the truly dark nature of our voyeuristic society. Because the only reason to watch is to hope that she falls even further and I don’t know where else she can take this other than tragedy. All the while we sit idly by, discussing the latest updates as if it was our favorite television series. There’s no acknowledgement that there is a human being on the other end of the lens. They’re not human, they’re celebrities.

This bothers me, especially given how much I write about celebrity gossip. When the story ends we’ll talk about how it was such a tragic waste of talent. It will be one of those Hollywood legends retold again and again. No one will bother to mention that we were too busy watching Access Hollywood to do anything about it.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Flaunt it if you got it


I’m telling you for the last time; no, this isn’t my car. First off, I don’t live, nor do I have any desire to live, in Johnson County. Second, if I buy a Beemer to show off just how important I am I will not then denigrate myself further via a personalized license plate. Well, maybe if DR COOL was available I’d change my mind but I would settle for nothing less.

(This is what I love about this world. There’s humor all around you if you just take the time to open your eyes and look for it.)

I finally got over my cold this weekend. It only knocked me out for three weeks and I was still too tired/lazy to go out on Saturday night but I’ve recovered to the point that I even worked out this afternoon. This means I will be able to reduce the amount of cold medicine that I’m downing, which means that the absolutely bizarre dreams that I have been having this week might lessen in their resemblance of a Fellini film. Let me explain…

(Yes, talking about dreams is typically the most boring, self-indulgent thing that one can do in polite company. Just go with it for now.)

A few nights ago I had a dream that I was walking around the Notre Dame campus. It wasn’t exactly the campus but there were trees and buildings so my brain just decided that it was ND. I assume if there was a cornfield I would have considered it to be Illinois. Anyway, while walking around a cute girl fires what can only be described as a makeshift arrow that strikes me dead center in the chest. Yes, I was shot in the heart with an arrow. Freud would have a field day with me.

Given that the rest of my dream consisted of talking to her, finding out that she was 20, and then discussing whether she owed me a date or not given that she technically shot me while addressing the fact that she is much too young for me even I’m a bit lost as to just what the heck was going on. Obviously there is some symbolism here that my subconscious is trying to smack me in the head with. At some point my dreams are going to consist solely of people walking around carrying flashing billboards reading “Your life would be much better with a girlfriend you idiot.”

Amazingly I don’t even think that was my weirdest dream of the week. The weirdest one would have been where I was reading a magazine listing the 200 greatest songs of all time where the best song of all time was determined to be Steve Perry’s “Oh Sherrie”. I am not making this up. It’s the type of dream where when you wake up, look around the room and ask yourself just what did you do last night. Quickly followed by wondering if Oh Sherrie was the greatest song of all time what in the world could have come in second?

Best of 120 Minutes: I figured that I really can’t talk about 120 Minutes without going into a Smiths/Joy Division/New Order discussion. Except that I’m in a pretty good mood tonight so I’ll just play Frente covering Bizarre Love Triangle. Close enough for a Sunday.



The five random CDs for the week:
1) Lyle Lovett “Pontiac”
2) Richard Buckner “Devotion and Doubt”
3) Ryan Adams “Easy Tiger”
4) Carbon Leaf “5 Alive”
5) Caroline Herring “Wellspring”

Thursday, January 10, 2008

2007 The Year in Books

Figured I’d end the week by ending my year in review material. Tonight I’ll be taking a look at some of the books that I read throughout the year. I think I still need to write my New Year’s Resolutions but at least that is more looking forward than looking back.

I was really, really lazy in terms of reading this year and I’m pretty ashamed of it. I didn’t make any headway into Crime and Punishment and the number of books I read was pitifully small. I kind of long for the days when I would ride the train to work where I would have an hour a day with nothing to do but read. I still read some interesting books but I’m hoping that this year will be much more productive on this front. Here is a sampling of what I finished this year.

“Before She Met Me” by Julian Barnes: Julian is a pretty well respected British author who typically gets shortlisted for the Booker Prize but never wins. This was one of the better novels I read this year as it focuses on a couple that derails as a husband becomes more and more obsessed about what his wife did before they were a couple. It’s a pretty fascinating topic. The past is the past but your impression of someone can change by finding out one small fact from their history.

“Holidays in Hell” and “On The Wealth of Nations” by P.J. O’Rourke: As much as I am pretty much an unwavering liberal democratic I really enjoy reading P.J. O’Rourke. He is spot on with his analysis and follows the golden rule of journalism that when you need to know what is going on you don’t talk to government officials; you talk to bartenders and cab drivers. Holidays in Hell is one of his classic books about the wonders of going to war torn regions and trying to figure out just how they got that way. On The Wealth of Nations is a treatise on the Adam Smith book and is only interesting if you are really, really into economics. I struggled with it, if that’s any indication.

“Paddy on the Hardwood” by Rus Bradburd: The true story of a college basketball assistant coach who decides to take a head coaching job in Ireland where he can focus on being a writer and playing the fiddle. I wish I was courageous enough to chuck it all and try something that cool. Well, that and have a job in Ireland waiting for me.

“Wisdom of Crowds” by James Surowiecki: A business book that people should read though I’m not entirely sure that I agree with it. The idea is that while individually people make poor guesses collectively they are extremely intelligent. Place a jar of jelly beans on the table and have people guess how many are in there and the average of all the guesses will be more accurate than any individual guess. The idea here is this is what drives things like Wikipedia and social networking and tagging to be extremely powerful tools. Very interesting concept and one that questions the idea of experts.

“Wikinomics” by two authors whose names I forgot to write down: The worst business book I read this year. They tried to take The Wisdom of Crowds and build a business model around it. The problem is their examples were really flawed, even Wiki has to ask for donations. What’s worse is that at one point they repeated a sentence. Literally, the same sentence was printed word for word twice in a row. When even the copy editors didn’t bother to read the book it is a very bad sign.

“The Black Swan” by Nassim Nicholas Taleb: The last of my trilogy of books I read for work and the one that most concerns me. Essentially, it states that much of what I’ve been trained to do (use mathematical models to predict the future) is completely foolish and a horrible waste of time. Instead, you should make small bets on risky outcomes because change (and unexpected returns) occurs quickly and unpredictably. There was no 10 year plan predicting the invention of the wheel. It just happened. The book is rather dense and I didn’t quite grasp it until he discussed it in terms of equations but pretty fascinating if you deal with any type of forecasting or investing products.

“Love Monkey” by Kyle Smith: If I can get my novel written in the less than nine months I have left before I turn 35 I would like to think that it will be similar to, if not superior to, this book. It wasn’t a bad book about a single guy making his way through the world. It just didn’t match up to what Nick Hornby and Mike Gayle have written on the subject. Also, I hold it against the author that this book became a TV series starring Jason Priestly.

“Veeck as in Wreck” by Bill Veeck: All baseball fans should read this book just for the stories as to how baseball was run in the old days. Everyone who does anything close to marketing a product should read this book because it explains exactly how to know your customers and make money on a shoestring. True, I’m a little biased because Veeck owned the Sox and is one of my heroes but this is a forgotten classic.

“The Road” by Cormac McCarthy: First suggestion, do not read this book while on vacation like I did. For one thing, you won’t be able to put it down. But mainly because it is so dark and depressing that it will cloud your mind throughout your entire trip. I’ve read post-apocalyptic books before and my mom describes what I read as dark and serious but this was beyond anything that I had experienced before. It also is one of the most elegant books I have ever read. Cormac is lyrical in his writing and the way he structures his sentences are just stunning. It’s as if how the words are laid on the page add to the bleakness of the story. About as close to a masterpiece as I have read in ages. Just because Oprah told you to read the book doesn’t mean that it is going to be fluff.

“Soon I Will Be Invincible” by Austin Grossman: On a lighter note, here is a novel about what it would really be like to be a super hero or a super villain. Apparently the obtaining of quality henchman is surprisingly difficult. Also, the paperwork involved in gathering all of the components of a death ray requires a level of bureaucracy that your typical criminal lacks. Good novel for comic book geeks.

“Smile, You’re Traveling” by Henry Rollins: A collection of Henry’s tour diaries and travel journals. Sometimes it is just pages of Henry going “Town sucked. Show sucked. I hate everything.” Adjectives are not exactly his strong suit. Still, I love the fact that he just travels the world doing his thing. I really think that he believes in his heart that he should have died years ago when his best friend was murdered while standing right next to him and he has decided to not waste a moment of his life. That’s something I aspire to (and why I write in my notebook daily “No Wasted Moments”.)

“The First Part of Henry IV” by William Shakespeare: Yep, I read my Shakespeare play for the year and am now halfway through the Henriad. Always great to read a Falstaff play especially when one character questions when was the last time Falstaff was able to see his knees. It’s always good when Shakespeare comes close to breaking out the Yo Mama jokes. I’ve read a Shakespeare play a year for probably twenty years now and am finally at the point where I don’t have to look at the definition guide on every page to figure out just what is going on.

“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows” by J. K. Rowling: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, if it was a Ravenclaw going up against Voldemort the series would have been finished in two books. And that’s just because he would want to let Voldemort think that he might win before finishing him off. Freaking Gryffendors thinking everything is about them.

“A Lion’s Tale” by Chris Jericho: I am allowed one pro wrestling book a year. This year it was the autobiography of one of my favorites “Lionheart” Chris Jericho. It’s an interesting book because it goes up to when Chris enters the WWE and then ends. It focuses on when he wasn’t famous. As a wrestling fan, I enjoy reading about how he was trained and how he broke into the business. Stories about wrestling in Mexico and Japan are amazing if all you have seen is Monday Night Raw. Even as an autobiography it is a great book as it is the story of someone who chased their dreams and made it to the top.

“Kitchen Confidential” by Anthony Bourdain: Probably my favorite book of the year. I’m not a foodie and I’m a horrible cook but I love reading Anthony’s discussion of how the restaurant business really works. This (and the BBC version of Kitchen Nightmares) should be required reading for anyone even thinking of opening up a restaurant. You’ll also never order fish on a Monday again. Those are the types of lessons one must learn in life.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

I challenge Sakai



Wednesday Night Music Club: Thought that I’d give a local band some love tonight. I really think that Vedera deserves to break into the mainstream. They’re easily the best local band that I have seen and seem to have every component of a big act. Heck, with a cute lead singer and good songs they have most of the marketplace beat. Why they aren’t being played on MTV is besides me. Probably because no one is played on MTV anymore.

Sorry if the American Gladiators post didn’t turn out quite the way I expected it to. It’s tough to do play by play on a show that you start actively disliking halfway through. At least The Pick Up Artist was consistently funny that made it great to review. It also didn’t help that I started the night by watching all two hours of The Biggest Loser. There is something about watching extremely fat people exercise that I find surprisingly entertaining. It’s so bizarre to be lazily lying on the couch while wondering if the person on tv is about to have a heart attack.

The Biggest Loser is a strange show for a variety of reasons. For a weight loss show you really don’t learn much about how to lose weight other than exercise and don’t eat crappy foods. I also have a slight issue with what one of the trainers said last night. Jillian said “I love to see people puke, I love to see people pass out” with regards to exercise. That sounds way too much like a bad high school football coach for me. I thought it was pretty much universally agreed that working out until your body decides that unconsciousness is the best option is a horrible thing to do. Yes, you need to push yourself to the point where you want to quit and then keep on going but not to the point where the ambulance arrives.

Also, I really want to know how they edit this show. You are putting unfit people through really intense workouts, which means that every muscle should be aching. I want to find out how the contestants even walk the second day much less put in hours of cardio. I know that I feel sore when I start up an exercise program for these people it must be a lot worse.

Still, if you like to watch people stand on scales this show is for you. Some people get to be happy about changing their bodies and others somehow gain weight while on the show. That’s an accomplishment in its own right.

I also have something to add on American Gladiators. I had a serious problem with the way the show is presented. Basically, it is trying the sports entertainment approach with a focus on the entertainment and that really strikes me the wrong way. I can understand it with wrestling because it is an accepted fact that what you are watching is fake but this show is a competition and at the back of yoru mind you want it treated as such. My other problem is that they are trying to be funny by being over the top but they blow it by telling everyone that they are over the top.

My counterexample is Iron Chef. Everything on that show is overblown; the sets, the chairman, the entire idea of a Kitchen Stadium and the incredible show of unveiling the secret ingredient. As bizarre as the entire thing is though everyone plays it straight. They know that it is silly but it is treated as serious. That makes it funny (and the original Japanese version was hysterical at times because it seemed as if cooking was a life or death struggle). The spectacle catches your eye, the competition keeps your focus. American Gladiators misses the point completely.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Bring back Zap


I take offense to the comment on the last post. I have never claimed to be a “good” reviewer. You’re talking about someone who a) can barely write a complete sentence, b) has no comprehension of even the concept of paragraphs and c) once had a friend threaten him with physical violence if he didn’t figure out the difference between there/their/they’re. Hell, I paid forty bucks to go see Weird Al in concert. If you’re looking at me for cogent criticism you’ve come to the wrong place.

But maybe I was mistaken. From the back of the room it looked like he broke a string (not a bad thing) at the end of the first song. If he didn’t then I’m sorry for the misstatement. I still think his set left a lot to be desired but the fun part of music is that people can have divergent opinions and both be correct. As always, I don’t care what people write in the comments but yowza, that was a little harsh.

On to a much more important issue: the relaunch of American Gladiators. Here’s my play by play of Monday night’s episode.

We start with Hulk Hogan cutting a promo. Most people who know me as a wrestling fan would think that I would be psyched to see the Hulkster on television. Except that I hate Hulk Hogan. Every hardcore wrestling fan hates Hulk Hogan, who was an egotistical bastard who would never give up his spot while more worthy wrestlers toiled in the undercard. I got tired of his act twenty years ago. Don’t really need to see it again.

Let’s meet our Gladiators: Titan, Venom, Wolf, Siren, Justice, Fury, Mayhem, Crush, Militia, Stealth, Toa, and Hellga. There are apparently two l’s in Hellga for a reason I can’t quite put my finger on at the moment. I am rather upset that they couldn’t find a role for Nitro from the original series. If he could do celebrity bullriding you’d think he could still swing a pugil stick. One of the male contestants is a rad tech. I used to work with those guys back in the day. Not a tough job but you lack fear in that position. The other guy is an engineer for Boeing. It’s a rather brainy group of contestants.

First event is the Gauntlet as they are taking on Titan, Mayhem, Toa and Justice. Goal is to run past all four of them in a row while wearing a backpack for no apparent reason. Rather boring event on the male side as it consists of guys running and getting hit with blocking pads. With controversy at the end as one of the Gladiators wasn’t playing fair. They should have learned from the original show, dump the bad pro wrestling aspects pronto. No one cares about the Gladiators as characters. The women go up against the female gladiators and Hellga, who I really think we need a ruling on. We are talking East German swimmer here.

(First random comment: the play by play announcer sounds like the guy who used to do Robot Wars. Probably ok given that this show is basically Robot Wars with humans.)

Next event one of my old favorites, The Wall. Basically rock climbing while being chased (an event Laser used to kill at. Bad Sign #1 for the show: when the rad tech reaches the top of the wall he does a victory scream that is so staged that you can tell that someone told him to stand there and act like he had won. People can notice this fake stuff a mile away.

Ladies do Joust, the fabled q-tip battle. We’ve lost the original scaffold and now the platforms are above water for no reason other than it looks vaguely cooler. Bad Sign #2 for the show: We don’t keep a camera angle for more than three seconds. It’s like watch American Gladiators crossed with Blair Witch, you get a headache just by watching the show. I counted 15 different cuts in a 27 second bout.

New event with Earthquake, which is the old conquer game suspended in the air. Last time they did that it was torn knee ligament central. Actually, this is the first event that looks pretty cool just because there seems to be some skill and strategy involved. They also brought back Hang Tough, maybe the worst game ever. It’s people swinging across rings with usually most people having no clue how to actually do this. They’ve greatly reduced the number of rings though making contact between the contestants almost a certainty.

(Second random comment: Please don’t have the contestants talk. Or if you do, stop giving them lines to read. This is sad. I’m just going to fast forward through the talking parts. Yep, someone’s going to make a comment on that line…)

Finally, after suffering through a show that is making me regret wasting my youth we get Assault. The greatest game ever invented. Dodge tennis balls fired at 100 mph while trying to hit a target. It’s brilliant in its simplicity, much like a spider’s web or an Adam Sandler film. Crappy weapons for the contestants, though. A slingshot? What the hell? Also, I really regret that they got rid of the bombed out village set that they used to use. It made no sense given that they were inside a television studio but it added to the “Oh what the hell, if it looks cool let’s use it” sense of the original show. How else does one create Atlaspeheres?

(Third random comment: I demand Atlaspheres! You can not have American Gladiators without the human hamster balls.)

Mercifully we get to the Eliminator, which seems to be designed by the creators of Ninja Warrior without the sense of style. Or at least they used the rolling log though no one seems to know how to use it. It’s basically a lot of running and climbing with no interaction from the gladiators. Oh how I long for the days when the contestants would get creamed by medicine balls. Also, what is the logic of having contestants swim then try to run up a sloped treadmill when they will obviously have wet feet?. Other than watching them slip for a minute in pretend drama?

Wow, that was an hour of my life I’m not getting back. When I say something like that you know it’s bad. Hell, I would watch the reruns on ESPN Classic every once in a while. This show is simultaneously taking itself too seriously and not seriously enough. You have high production values for a show where parts are obviously preplanned. Not the events but all of the talking bits before and after. Then you have the Gladiators with their pro wrestling personalities except that we are talking about guys who would be wrestling in the high school gym as opposed to the big stage. It doesn’t have the fun of the original in any sense of the word. Unless Billy Wirth makes a surprise comeback as a contestant I think I’ll be skipping this.

Monday, January 07, 2008

2007 Concerts (Part Three)

Time to finish off the concert recap of 2007. This time I’ll focus on Kansas and parts two and three of the story begun on Thursday. Maybe I’m the only person who enjoys these posts but I like documenting every moment of my life. Don’t worry, tomorrow we’ll get back to more pressing matters as I’ll review the new version of American Gladiators. Don’t tell me who wins tonight, I tivoed it.

(I’m not kidding, I really did. That fact alone might help to put the story into perspective.)

The Bottleneck (Lawrence, KS)
1) Carbon Leaf (Opening Act: Toby Lightman): Toby is yet another in a string of pretty girl with a guitar opening acts. It’s rather amazing just how many of those I see on a yearly basis. I have become a reluctant Carbon Leaf fan. I say reluctant because on the surface I should hate these guys. They dress from the Abercrombie catalog and the lead singer has the tendency to emphasize every line with a hand movement in the same way that William Shatner acts. It would make him a total douchebag except that he is incredibly sincere about it. Plus the songs are really, really good. This was the first time that I’ve seen Carbon Leaf headline and while at times they seemed a little lost at how to fill the extra time they are ready to make the leap. Great college music for those who want to relive college.

2) The Ditty Bops (Opening Act: Ice Cream Truck): I should have learned by now to not go to the Bottleneck in August. There’s no air conditioning, a heat index in the triple digits and the entire club smells from the, uh, fragrances emitting from the bathrooms. But there is no band I enjoy seeing more than The Ditty Bops. Abby and Amanda are cute and funny and talented and just a joy to watch onstage. It’s part bluegrass, part vaudeville and part community activism. It’s also the only opportunity I’ll probably ever get to stand next to a former model who is wearing a bikini top made out of a Target shopping bag. Another act I recommend with the highest praise.

Liberty Hall (Lawren.ce, KS)
1) The Shins (Opening Act: Viva Voce): I found out today that the keyboardist in The Shins is dating Elyse from the first season of America’s Next Top Model. Of course, I found this out because they both just filed assault claims on each other so maybe my thinking that they make a cute couple is a little misplaced. Anyway, I still haven’t made my mind up on the latest Shins album. It just doesn’t strike me in the same way that the first two did. Good show but it was interesting to be in a crowd where everyone seemed to be too hip to react. You can’t really dance to The Shins; you just kind of stand there and nod while letting everyone else know how cool you are because you were a fan before Garden State.

2) Guster (Opening Act: The Format): Guster made a big point about this show being carbon neutral. I wonder if they took the fact that I drove 45 minutes to get there into account. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m not carbon neutral I’m chaotic neutral. I think I see Guster yearly as well now. They are a perfectly enjoyable college band. Maybe not the most earth shattering band in the world but you have a good time at their shows. Sometimes that is more than enough.

3) Neko Case (Opening Act: Jon Rauhouse): Here’s a sign that you are in for a good show: when you walk into the venue and you run right into the owner of another club. In this case, I ended up standing next to Michelle, the owner of Davey’s Uptown, for most of the show. I’ve been a fan of Neko’s seemingly forever. All of my business school applications were written with her CDs in the background. This show doesn’t make my list of favorite shows because of her performance though it was excellent. It was the fact that Liberty Hall was packed on a Friday night to see someone who I used to say hi to in between sets at Fitzgeralds. Neko can become famous because I don’t think she’ll ever change who she is in the process.

4) Henry Rollins: Someone asked me to describe Henry’s spoken word show. Start with a bare stage with a microphone stand and a sole monitor. Henry walks on stage and puts down a water bottle. He grabs the mike, wraps the cord around his hand as he has done for every performance since the days of Black Flag, and starts talking. Three hours later he says “Thank you, good night.” That’s it, just three hours of Henry speaking whatever is on his mind. I’m amazed by anyway who can keep my interest for three hours by just telling stories. What I really admire about Henry is that he does everything to insure that there are no wasted moments in his life. If something interests him he’ll try to experience it for himself even if that means travelling to Lebanon and Iran. I dig that.

5) The New Pornographers (Opening Acts: Immaculate Machine, Emma Pollack): I’m still trying to figure out why the guy next to me was so in rapture by the light up sign for this show. Apparently he is on some very good meds. I think I’ve gotten very strange reactions due to telling people about this great band called The New Pornographers. There is nothing dirty about the band. They’re a power pop band from Canada featuring Neko Case and the lovely and talented Kathryn Calder. None of the songs make a lick of sense but you sing along with them all the same.

6) Nickel Creek (Opening Act: Tom Brosseau): In retrospect, I should have beaned Tom Brosseau with my can of Miller Lite. He broke a guitar string on his first song and the crowd cheered; he was that bad. I caught what was one of the last Nickel Creek shows for the forseeable future as they are going on hiatus as they each pursue solo careers. I’m happy I got to see them one last time but I can tell why they are taking a break. They still have fun playing with each other but you can see them straining in the space they are given. You can only play the same songs with the same people for so long before going mad.

Granada (Lawrence, KS)
1) Drive By Truckers (Opening Act: Ryan Bingham): Never question any band that brings a bottle of Jack Daniels with them on stage and chugs from it constantly during the set. This was southern rock; unapologetic, guitar driven, southern rock. A killer three guitar attack that just kept on going and going. This was another show where I didn’t quite know what I was getting into (as I went due to a number of good reviews in the past) but I had way more fun than I expected. Some times you just have to rock out and that’s all this show was about.

2) The Polyphonic Spree (Opening Acts: The Redwalls, Rooney): Part Two of the story: So after getting this girl’s email at The Brunettes show we started emailing each other back and forth. We found out that we had a lot in common (including being Richard Buckner fans, a guy so obscure even he doesn’t know that he has fans) and seemed to be really hitting it off. We decided to meet for dinner before this show and had a great time. Conversation flowed naturally and she was without a doubt one of the coolest people I have met in my four years in this town. She impressed the hell out of me and all I wanted to do was get to know her better. Time for the check came and we split it without my even asking to pay. At the time, I did not see this as an issue…

So I was on cloud nine when I went to this show (bolstered by the fact that she was texting me the score of the World Series game at the same time). I wasn’t even bothered by the fact that the two opening acts were not very good (The Redwalls try to sound like they’re part of the British Invasion even though they’re from the Chicago suburbs and Rooney is performing solely for the enjoyment of the nineteen year old girls in the audience.) But the Spree were just mind blowingly awesome. Twenty plus people on stage including a six woman choir, a harpist, a three piece brass section, two violinist, and a flautist who became more attractive as the show went on. The Granada is not a big place so all this music in such a small room was amazing. I left this show feeling more alive than I have felt in ages. It lasted all of a few days and then…

Replay Lounge (Lawrence, KS)
1) Uz Jsme Doma (Opening Act: Capillary Action): Part Three of the story: So the girl in question told me that she was going to see this band, which were a prog rock band from Prague. Given my heritage and my natural inclination towards puns I asked if I could meet her there. She said yes and I thought, awesome, this is going to be great. And it was for about the first fifteen minutes. Then I started to get the feeling that things are going horribly wrong and not only can I not stop it, I can’t figure out what the hell is precisely going wrong. In retrospect, she was probably trying to figure out how I could have been so cheap as to not buy dinner. (I swear, I thought we were in more enlightened times).

So the night ends and I say what might be the most awkward goodbye in a lifetime of awkward goodbyes and I walk back to my car with an expression on my face that could best be described as the one Chris Webber had when he called a timeout he didn’t have. That “oh, how the hell did I do this to myself” look. Because I knew then how this was going to play out. For all effective purposes, she hasn’t spoken to me since. Outside of a chance meeting at another show I don’t think I have any more cards left to play. I’ve been kicking myself about this one for months now. She really was amazing and for the first time in a long time I thought I might have found someone who got me. The fact that I may have screwed up because of something as simple as paying for dinner is enough to drive a man to drink. Ok, I was at that point already but you understand.

Throughout all this I did find out that Uz Jsme Doma is a really fun, prog rock band. I don’t speak Czech but I know what it sounds like so the lyrics didn’t make sense but I knew what they meant on some level. That might not be entirely sensible but there is something about the language that sounds like home to me. My grandmother mainly spoke Czech so it is definitely a language that I’m familiar with. The music was cool and different with a cool trumpet player and an overall fun vibe. I’m happy I got to hear them. I just wish that the story turned out better.

Ok, back to pop culture tomorrow. Apparently Gladiator Wolf is worthy of my attention.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

2007 Concerts (Part Two)

Part two of the concert reviews. As always, I’ll be putting together CDs of all the artists seen in the past year. This (and the concert year in review from 2004 on) is available upon request. Tonight, let’s finish off the Missouri concerts.

Beaumont Club (Kansas City, Missouri)
1) Gomez (Opening Act: Ben Kweller): The Beaumont Club has the worst sound of any venue that I know of in Kansas City. It’s just this very long room with pillars and dead spots and a mechanical bull in the back. I stand by the sound board for shows here just in a hope that it will sound decent, which also provides me with moments like Ben Kweller’s soundperson turning to me and going “Does the sound always suck here?” As for the show itself, Ben Kweller sounds and looks like someone whose entire purpose is to get their music featured on a WB show. I’m a huge fan of Gomez but I’ve seen them play better. They’re a great band out of England who seem to grow more talented and less popular with each record.

2) Jack Ingram (Opening Act: Billy Doores): First rule for an opening act: avoid cover songs. Second rule: if playing cover songs please have them be by decent acts. This guy violated both rules. I’m probably even more disappointed in Jack Ingram who has apparently sold his soul to the devil or Nashville. Basically this guy is a great songwriter who I used to see in small clubs and have a beer with after the show. He decided to turn in his Nashville card and now opens for big name acts, has dancing girls with him on stage, and decided that the title track to his new record should be a Hinder song. His songs are great but you should never be chanting “You sold out” at a show that isn’t.

Davey’s Uptown Ramblers Club (Kansas City, Missouri)
1) Jon Dee Graham (Opening Act: The Silos): The man I’ve seen in concert more often than anyone else in the past four years. What’s funny is I can think of at least two occasions where I would have gone to see him but I was out of town. My best explanation of his music is that he is a more accessible Tom Waits. Gravelly voice, often dark lyrics, but much more approachable musically and personally. Just an overall nice guy who has carved his place in the music business. This wasn’t his best show but he still has more fun onstage than almost anyone I know.

2) Eleni Mandell: The first time I went to see Eleni in concert was due to the following reasons a) the girl I always ran into at concerts talked about her and b) her photo on the concert poster was really, really attractive. That’s how you get a guy like me to show up at your show. I think every review of Eleni has to use the word “silky” at least once. That’s what she sounds like; a smooth, silky lounge singer who can grab your attention by darting her eyes and swaying her hips.

3) Abra Moore (Opening Act: Garrison Starr): Best line from the stage came from Garrison who talked about running into a friend from high school at a show recently who went “I really like your music.” Her response “Thanks, but where were you for my first six records?” That’s kind of how she is, this rather rough and tumble southern girl with an interesting drawl and really, really good songs. No one stayed for Abra Moore even though she was grammy nominated at one point in her career. I listened for a bit but even I can grow tired of the pretty girl with a guitar at some point.

4) Kelly Willis: Ah, the love of my life. Or at least one of them. I’ve written more than enough about Kelly in this blog that I won’t need to go into detail about. She’s one of the few singers who can put chills down my spine with her music. I was just happy that I got to see her play and that she finally released a new record. I could do without the songs where she puts down the guitar and just sings as that’s a little too much American Idol country for me. But she still is darn near perfect and I got my picture taken with her, which was probably the highlight of my year.

5) Mark Olson: The former Jayhawk. I went to this show just so I could hear Blue sung by the man who originally recorded it. Still not the way it was meant to be sung (as you need all of the harmonies) but that song is about as perfect as you can get. Show is also memorable because while at it I started feeling the initial symptoms of my medical misadventure. At least that weekend started out well.

Starlight Theater (Kansas City, Missouri)
1) Alison Krauss and Union Station: Probably the tightest band I’ve ever seen. Bluegrass is insanely difficult to play and this band has an almost unnatural sense of timing. To the point that they must finish each other’s sentences constantly. Alison sounded brilliant even if she spent the entire show fighting a sound system that never seemed quite right. I went to this show mainly because I owed it to myself to see what musical mastery looks like.

2) Lyle Lovett and his Large Band (Opening Act: K. D. Lang): Never in my life would I have thought that I would pay to see K. D. Lang. That said, I’ve seen Ani DiFranco three times and I still can’t figure out how that happened. K. D. sure can sing, you have to give her that. And she played Halleluiah, which is always a plus in my book. Lyle released one of the best discs of the year with “I Will Rise Up” being my favorite track of the year. It really made you feel the power of the Large Band where you have fifteen people all playing their hardest and creating a real tapestry of music. I really admire Lyle’s career. From his look you’d think that he’d be almost a joke performer but he’s become one of the most respected artists around. If you haven’t seen him you really should.

3) Arcade Fire (Opening Act: LCD Soundsystem): My pick for concert of the year. The crowd was on their feet from the moment the opening act took the stage. LCD Soundsystem was loud and gains points for titling a song “Daft Punk is Playing at my House.” Arcade Fire was everything that I expected them to be and more. High energy, exuberant, often on the verge of going off the rails but always seeming to come back to the center. Bonus points for their video backdrop, which is the first time I’ve seen one that added to a show. It was haunting and exhilarating at the same time.

Grinders (Kansas City, Missouri)
1) Lucinda Williams (Opening Act: Charlie Louvin): It was very cool to see Charlie Louvin sing Atomic Power at the exact moment that a 40 mile an hour wind gust hit the stage. Now that’s legendary timing. Lucinda is growing tougher and tougher to review. She’s still a poet but her performances are growing more and more confusing. First off, you can never quite tell if she’s drunk or just letting her drawl come through. But mainly while I can understand having a music stand with the lyrics in front of you I really don’t see a need for a guy to come on stage and flip to the exact page on every single song. You’d think that she’d know how to do that.

2) Wilco (Opening Act: Andrew Bird): I’ll admit that I don’t know why I didn’t include this in my top concerts of the year because it definitely was. Andrew Bird suffered from playing outside in the rain. Partly because violins don’t really react well to dampness and partly because he just got lost in the big space. Wilco played with more joy than I have seen them play with in maybe ever. They were really enjoying themselves up there. It was a huge thrill for me to hear them play the tracks from AM my favorite album that critics hate. I still can’t believe that people went to see Elton John instead of this show.

Voodoo Lounge (North Kansas City, Missouri)
1) Chris Isaak: Every once in a while I find myself at a concert going “why am I here again?” I didn’t have a great reason other than I literally had nothing else to do that night. I have listened to Chris’ stuff before though and I knew it was going to be a good show. I think I was the youngest one there and let’s face it, seeing a show at a casino is never a good thing.

2) Rufus Wainwright (Opening Act: Neko Case): I’ll talk about Neko tomorrow. I first started listening to Rufus because everyone would compare him to Jeff Buckley and that was good enough for me. I’m not a huge fan of his new record (and the first half of his set was all from the new record) but the older material is spot on. Plus, it’s the only show I went to that featured costume changes. Taking the stage in lederhosen, understandable. Dressing up as Judy Garland? Not as much. Oh, and this show also had the most members of the local trivia alliance in attendance, which might be saying something.

KC Irish Fest (Kansas City, Missouri)
1) The Saw Doctors, Searson, The Fuschia Band: I’ve been told by people from Ireland that it is not cool to like The Saw Doctors. It’s apparently the same as liking Hootie and the Blowfish. But, I’ve been wanting to see these guys for years and I finally got the chance. So I went up to the stage with the other fans who apparently travel with these guys like the Dead. They are also well organized. They brought props for use in certain songs. I kind of stepped away from the stage at that point. Well that and it was 100 degrees out and I needed a beer.

The Brick (Kansas City, Missouri)
1) The Chiara String Quartet: In between all the rock and country shows I somehow found myself listening to a Julliard trained string quartet who were playing in a bar. It’s very seldom that you can enjoy Mozart while simultaneously watching a football and drinking a Pabst. What I liked was the fact that this is what the quartet was aiming for; their goal is to see how this music works in different spaces. When you’re in a really small club music like this engulfs you. It was a rather wild experience.

2) Rex Hobart and the Misery Boys (Opening Act: The Rural Grit All Stars): Another New Year’s Eve, another Rex Hobart show. I think it is a tradition for me. Basically whenever you are depressed about life you should see Rex in concert. All of his songs are about being a screw up but somehow you end up smiling through it all. He seems to take my view of life: you can view this world as a tragedy or a farce and I choose farce.

The five random CDs of the week:
1) Alejandro Escovedo “The Boxing Mirror”
2) Cracker “Garage D’Or”
3) The New Pornographers “Electric Version”
4) Fionn Regan “The End of History”
5) The Minus 5 “Down With Wilco”

Thursday, January 03, 2008

2007 Concerts (Part One)

Time for one of my favorite entries of the year: my review of every single concert that I attended in 2007. I think that this will take three separate entries (lots of shows to talk about) and we’ll start in Missouri and end in Kansas as there is a story in three parts that I need to tell across the span of these entries. Also, just for the record, I define a concert as something that I actively paid to see, which takes out a few bands I saw at various points in the year. But first, some statistics of note…

2007 Totals: Saw 39 concerts consisting of 70 unique artists
2004 through 2007 Totals: Saw 160 concerts consisting of 211 unique artists

Over the past four years, here are the acts that lead in having me stand in front of the stage…
6 Shows: Jon Dee Graham
5 Shows: Carbon Leaf, Rex Hobart and the Misery Boys, Richard Buckner
4 Shows: Jack Ingram, Lyle Lovett (with and without his Large Band), The Gaslights
3 Shows: Alejandro Escovedo, Anders Parker, Ani DiFrano, Cowboy Mouth, Garrison Star, Gomez, Guster, Hank Williams III, Howie Day, Immaculate Machine, Lucinda Williams, Neko Case, Nickel Creek, Old Crow Medicine Show, Robert Earl Keen, Rufus Wainwright, The Brunettes, The Ditty Bops, The Get Up Kids, Vedera, Wilco

Let’s get this party started (Shows that rank in my Top 8 are in bold)…

Record Bar (Kansas City, MO)
1) The Elders (Opening Act: Martin De Cogain): I seem to go to one Elders show every year. Heck, I’ll probably be back at the Record Bar this weekend to see The Elders play. They are KC’s resident rocking Irish band and they are very good for what they are. Every once in a while the Irish side of me wants to get out and listen to the music of my homeland (augmented by copious amounts of Guinness). Of course, once you see the show it’s “well, don’t have to do that again for another year.”

2) The Autumn Defense (Opening Acts: Arthur Dodge and the Horsefeather, Ferraby Lionheart): No one listened to Ferraby, which was an absolute shame. The dude has more talent than his name would imply. Autumn Defense is a side project of Wilco’s John Stirratt. One of my highlights this year was getting to stand next to John at the back of the Record Bar. I had to keep myself from grabbing him and yelling “How can I make my life exactly like yours?” Seriously, the guy played in Uncle Tupelo and now gets to play bass and sing harmony for Wilco. If I did that for a living you couldn’t take the smile off of my face with a jackhammer.

3) Glen Kotche: The far and away winner of the strangest show that I saw all year. It was a solo show by Wilco’s drummer. Yes, it was just the guy drumming. That’s bizarre in and of itself. You’d expect it to be just one long, boring solo but Glen uses so many different percussion instruments and loops that it becomes rather amazing. Then there is “Monkey Chant”, the song that introduced the concept of using crickets as background singers. Thanks to YouTube, I can finally prove that I wasn’t making that up. Here is the Wednesday Night Music Club selection that you have to see.




4) Vedera (Opening Act: Traindodge): For a local act Vedera gets very little love. Of all the local bands, they are the ones with the best shot of making it huge nationally. Kristen May has a killer voice and a great look and they write really good songs. The horrible thing is that they might be 15 years too late. They would have sounded perfect on 120 Minutes but they might not be emo enough to make it in today’s market. How anyone would listen to Paramore over this band is beyond me.

5) The Brunettes (Opening Acts: Anders Parker, Ferraby Lionheart): Part One of the story that I hope doesn’t come back to haunt me. It’s one of those stories. I went to this show the week of my medical misadventure. I sit down in a rather empty bar surviving solely on pain medication. I take a table by myself, which is kind of a jerk move but I didn’t really care. Woman comes over and asks if I was saving the seats. I say no but I could move but she goes no she was trying to get her friends to join me. I never saw her friends but we sat down and talked for a bit, completely ignoring Ferraby’s performance again.

She gets up to leave to talk to her friends and I go “That was odd. I’m not drinking and yet a woman comes up to talk to me.” Literally within five minutes of her leaving another woman walks into the bar, walks straight to me and goes “Are you saving these seats for anyone?” I go no so she joins me at the table where we both realize that we like Anders Parker. And Son Volt. And about three dozen other bands. The night ends with her giving me her email address. You would think this would lead me to not drink in bars more often but sadly that’s not the case.

As for the show, Anders Parker is woefully underappreciated. We were both upset that no one else was listening to him as the guy does a lot of great stuff in the same vein as Jay Farrar. And The Brunettes are my absolute favorite band from New Zealand. I could write a TV show about this band as they seem like a bunch of kids who are just travelling the world and making it up as they go along. In certain songs you’ll have three people playing xylophones. One song features one guy playing banjo, trumpet and xylophone within 90 seconds of each other. Just brilliant fun.

6) The Lemonheads (Opening Acts: Racoon, New Rivals): I reviewed this recently but I’m still amazed that Evan Dando forgot a verse to Into Your Arms. There are only two verses to the song to begin with so it can’t be that difficult. This was also the only show I ever saw without an encore. Evan finished the show and left. Hey, it’s not my fault that you’re playing in a bar in KC on a Sunday night. Least you could do is give us another song.

Uptown Theater (Kansas City, MO)
1) Lindsay Buckingham: This was the most surprising show of the year for me. I went to it because Erik (long time friend of the blog) would constantly harp on me about how awesome Lindsay is as a guitarist. I’m not a big fan of Fleetwood Mac, they’re great but the shows tend to be very scarf heavy, so I wasn’t sure what to expect. His set was just knocked out of the park awesome. Great guitar work going from fingerpicking acoustic to full on sonic blasts. Tusk was turned into acid rock; it was so awesome. Definitely not what I expected.

2) John Prine (Opening Act: Maura O’Connell): John Prine used to be the mailman for my office. Ok, that’s not entirely true. John was a mailman in Maywood and I worked in Maywood but I don’t think the time periods overlapped. That doesn’t change the fact that he was a mailman back when I lived in that part of the city. For those who wonder about the music business, one of the best songwriters you’ll ever find was delivering the mail. Tough to actually review the show as John is John. He’s going to be onstage with a guitar and singing his wonderfully composed songs. Maybe he should add some pyro next time.

3) Damien Rice: I had trepidations going into this show since Lisa Hannigan had left the band a month prior. Given that I’m madly in love with her and her voice I was worried about how the show would progress. Hell, Lisa sings entire verses of the songs. Damien pulled it off and for the most part you didn’t notice what was missing. As always with Damien, incredible emotion and intensity that is enhanced by Vyvienne Long’s cello playing. It creates a sonic landscape that is intimate and powerful at the same time. Was one of those shows where the entire crowd is incredibly silent, straining to hear every last note. Well, except for the drunk middle aged women in the middle of the crowd who just wouldn’t shut up even after we all yelled at them. Kept it from being a perfect show.

4) Weird Al Yankovic: Yeah, I’m worried about someone reading my three part story when it the same post I admit that I went to see Weird Al. I think one of my first rules upon meeting someone is “for the love of God, don’t tell her about the blog.” But so what if I went to see Weird Al? Is it wrong to want to hear a song performed by a guy in a SpongeBob t-shirt? Is it wrong to be impressed by a kick line of stormtroopers? Is it wrong to be amazed that he brought along his own fat suit for “Fat”? Yeah, I guess it probably is wrong. I did realize one important truth in life that night: If you died in a freak accident at a Weird Al concert for the rest of your life you’d be referred to as ‘that guy who died at the Weird Al concert.’” Also, this show had sign language for the hard of hearing. I’m not making that up, two women were signing for the audience. Don’t know if that is awesome or not.

5) Ryan Adams and the Cardinals: First off, I’m just happy that Ryan made it through his set. He had just quit smoking and for a guy who was on everything but skates to give up one of his vices is a dangerous thing. I’m not sure if this show lived up to everything that I hoped it to be. It was great in that I was expecting a train wreck and he actually played competently and brilliantly at times. It’s just that he spent half the set muttering incoherently and having a lot of fun with the band but not much fun with the audience. Plus, I’m such a huge fan of his Whiskeytown stuff that is really what I want to hear. I want that youthfulness as well as Caitlin Cary’s fiddle in the background. Now he seems to be beaten down by life and he’s younger than I am. Oh well, he’s still one of my faves even if he was too dumb to marry Beth Orton when he had the chance.

That’s the first part. More next week.