Sunday, July 31, 2005

Nightmare season

Friday night proved one of those undeniable facts about my life, which is that it is meaningless to try to plan anything. See, it was a really long tough week at work and I was just physically and mentally exhausted at the end of it. So here it was Friday night and I’m yawning and thinking “Maybe I’ll just call it an early night.” But I realize that it is Friday night and I owe it to myself to go out for a little bit. Still, no problem, it will be an early night after all.

Well, after stopping at a few places I find myself drinking with the assistant basketball coach from West Virginia, who was in town on a recruiting trip. Given that he was also an ND fan we ended up talking Big East hoops for a good amount of time. Then I ended up running into a guy I know who used to bartend around town. Next thing I know it’s last call. Here’s the thing: if I go out with the thought “Oh man, this is going to be a huge night.” I can guarantee you I’ll be back home by midnight. If I’m dead tired when I go out, I’m there until the lights come back on. I don’t think I’ll ever figure out how that works.

This has been a really quiet weekend. Did a lot of reading and sitting out on my porch and trying not to worry about too many things. That last bit has been an issue because of some recurring dreams that I have been having. (Yes, another dream story. You can fast forward if you like.) For the past few months I have been having this dream in which I have a huge term paper due in Chemistry. Yes, I know that you typically don’t have term papers in Chemistry but that’s not the point. The point is that I’ve been having the same dream for three months and the due date has been getting closer and closer and last week I dreamt that the paper is due tomorrow.

I hate this dream. I’ve been having dreams like this for ages. I wake up and I’m worried as hell until I realize that I have a number of diplomas on the wall and if I had anything still due for a class I doubt that they’d take the diplomas away. But, I know that this dream means that I’m stressing out over other items in my life so I knew that I needed to take things easy this weekend. Like driving around town last night listening to a Frames CD. Sometimes you just need to do things like that, get out of your house and drive somewhere without having any real purpose. Going on walkabouts are cool and enlightening. (Of course, I ended up at a Borders. Wasn’t a transcendental experience but it was nice.)

The five random CDs for the week
1) Blue Rodeo “Tremolo”
2) Freedy Johnston “Never Home”
3) Dave Matthews Band “Remember Two Things”
4) Cat Power “Myra Lee”
5) Uncle Tupelo “Anodyne”

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Life amongst the muggles

Like most Thursday nights, I’m sitting here just plum out of things to write about. I have no idea how daily columnists do this. I can think up ideas for a few days but how do you write that last column before the weekend? It’s probably when they just look through their email and find something in there to steal. Sadly, I don’t have that option so I’m just going to try a couple of quick notes and see what happens.

1) Picked up tickets last night to see Sleater-Kinney in a few months. Those of you who have heard of the band are nodding your head and going, “Awesome.” It’s kind of like seeing The Donnas if The Donnas were you know, cool, and uh, good. Anyway, it’s not like I need much of an excuse to go hang out with college kids.
2) Have one very interesting bar story from last week that I’ve completely forgotten to share. So, I come back from Alejandro’s show and it’s like 1:30 in the morning and the bars are still open and I’m wide awake so I head over to Harry’s for a nightcap. Take a seat at the patio bar, joke with the bartender and find that I’m sitting next to a girl who is nursing a martini and reading a couple of pieces of paper very intently. As in she had that look you have on your face when you’re studying for a final. It’s a pretty crowded bar on a Saturday night and I have to admit that it got my attention. So anyway, I start drinking and thinking how in the world can I get this girl’s attention. When she pulled out the crossword puzzle I knew I had my shot. Yes, at two in the morning on a Saturday I was at a bar working on a crossword puzzle with a random (though very cute) girl. You know, even I don’t believe what happens in my life anymore.
3) If anyone has any suggestions on what to do this weekend please let me know. This is the first weekend in a month where there is absolutely nothing on my calendar. Any ideas, challenges or threats would be appreciated. Heck, even recommending a good book or a movie to rent would be cool.
4) For those wondering, I did finish the new Harry Potter book. (What, like I’m supposed to be embarrassed about the fact that I read Harry Potter? As anyone who reads this blog knows, I have no shame.) It started slow (much too slow, an editor would have probably killed the first chapter and looked to rewrite the second) but when it got going it worked really well. It is one of the better books of the series and it did leave me wondering what would happen next. Plus, I really like the way the last few pages of the book turned out, it was just a neat little closure to the story. However, what happened to Neville? Couldn’t we have at least given him a few good lines? Otherwise, definitely worth a pick up if you are a fan of the series, which if you are you’ve already finished it already and are probably wondering if I’m going to give away the big surprise at the end.
5) Something to look forward to next week in this space. I’m gearing up to restart my novel (still tentatively titled My Life as a Sitcom) and I’m pretty close to having the prologue finished. Once it’s done I’ll post it on the site. Consider it a sneak preview for what will one day be written. Probably will take me a year to do the whole story if I can keep my dedication to the project at a high level. But if there is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time it’s write a novel and at some point you just have to try. Should be interesting (and yes, I’m looking to hire an editor. Lord knows I’ll need one. Applications are available upon request.)

Have a great weekend everyone. Keep cool.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Just shaking my head

I’m going to start tonight with a plea to the residents of Kansas and Missouri. Please, for all of our sakes, enough with the cutesy personalized license plates already. While driving to work today I was stuck behind a Chevy Malibu. It’s license plate? MYLABU. Seriously, WTF? It’s a Chevy Malibu, how proud of it can you be? Are you expecting passerby’s to think that you are witty? Is this what passes for wit out here? Just stop. Even the chimpanzees at the zoo are embarrassed about things like this.

As expected, a Voltron reference drew out a number of comments. And, though not as explicit, the fact that over the span of a few weeks I have made repeated Voltron and Transformers reference probably explains a few things about me. Super once mentioned to me that my blog has the potential to become my own Yahoo Personals ad (you know, the one that I’ve threatened to put together for a year and a half now). Of course, I figure that any woman who reads this for more than a few days would really think twice about the deal. I’d just like to state for the record that I do not spend all of my time thinking about cartoon robots that transform into lions or cars or cassette players. Just the majority of it.

(Why did the Ryan Adams lyric “I might as well just admit I’m going to die alone and blue” just enter my mind? Just kidding, my upbeat mood that I’ve been in since New Orleans is continuing and showing some benefits.)

On to a further analysis of the cities for singles list. First of all, Erik stop complaining, you live in Miami for crying out loud. You’ve got a lot better scenery than those of us in the upper and lower Midwest. Just get some bling and a J Lo record and that should do the trick. Second, I’d have to say that Milwaukee should be ranked higher than Kansas City just based on its location (being near Chicago and a lake). Not much higher (Indianapolis being between the two is fair) but higher. Having Miami in the same range as New Orleans is a little surprising, only because I thought both would be higher. San Francisco at number three surprises me just because of the cost of living. Might have a lot of young professionals out there but I thought the cost was a deal killer. For the most part, I think the list is pretty accurate. It catches places you might not think of (like the Twin Cities) and places them high on the list where they belong. Austin could have been a little higher, but otherwise, a pretty fair list.

The ranking did get mentioned on the local news though with more of a chuckle than of a “Oh my God, we ranked below Cleveland for crying out loud.” This town does have a lot of good things to offer. A pretty neat art scene, lots of activities conveniently located, some nice shopping, but there just really is no there here. As a newbie to a town where everyone went to the same three colleges it’s pretty tough to adjust. That can’t be a good thing for a city trying to grow.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

At least I'm not in Norfolk

It’s that time of year again. Yes, it’s Forbes Magazine’s annual “Top Cities for Singles List”. Think I’m joking, you can check it out at http://www.forbes.com/home/singles/2005/07/25/singles-best-cities_cx_05sing_0725land.html

They’ve ranked the 40 largest cities in the U.S. Number 1: Denver. My old hometown of Chicago? 9th. My adopted hometown of New Orleans? 26th. And my current residence of Kansas City? Wait for it… 38th. Beating out Norfolk and Greensboro. (Oh, and Super, Milwaukee came in a slightly more respectable 32nd.)

My reaction to this news was one of vindication. See, I’ve been telling all of you for months how tough it is to meet people in this town and now I have independent evidence supporting my claim. It’s not that I’m not trying hard enough, it is simply a location based issue. Well, also I could try harder. And lets face it losing a few pounds wouldn’t hurt either but for the most part, I feel entirely justified in blaming the metro area for my dating woes. Well, that and my complete inability to make small talk. And a lack of self-confidence. But other than that it’s Kansas City’s fault.

In more shocking news, Salt Lake City was ranked higher than New Orleans. I must be missing something here. Maybe it’s the altitude but that’s not one that I would’ve predicted. However, I enjoy that one of the quotes in describing the great city of New Orleans is “Everyone here is an alcoholic.” That should go on the Chamber of Commerce brochures. Also, I do feel a need to give my condolences to the people of Greensboro. I don’t even want to know how bad it is there.

Personally, none of this shocks me. It’s more important how you utilize this type of information. No matter where I live, I doubt that I’ll meet people, find that special someone and get married just by showing up. There’s trial and error and mistakes to be made along the way. Lots of mistakes. Huge, incredible mistakes. But that’s the fun part. And while I will agree with Super that women are irrational (otherwise, please explain to me how a woman who can go stride for stride with me in discussing the history of Christian Laettner’s college career can show absolutely no interest in me) I doubt that anyone is truly rational when it comes to relationships. People do things for odd reasons and wrong reasons and reasons that you will never be able to fathom. If you could predict everyone’s behavior using Excel it just wouldn’t be fun. I mean, it would be a really cool spreadsheet but it would take the enjoyment out of life. I’ll take the unknown with no guarantee of success. I always figure that the path is more interesting than the destination.

Oh well, if the relationship scene fails we’ll always have this to fall back on.
http://www.zap2it.com/movies/news/story/0,1259,---26364,00.html

I call red lion.

Monday, July 25, 2005

Por Vida

When you think about it, there isn’t much that I actually want out of life. I’m not really into fame and fortune. Sure, I wish that my dream of being a basketball player hadn’t been cut short by the fact that I’m slow and can’t jump and I wouldn’t mind being independently wealthy but none of that drives my daily existence. I’m just happy learning new things, getting to write a story every once in a while, and experiencing transcendent moments. Those times when you realize that even though life can be tough and annoying and unfair as hell it is still much better than the alternative. That’s what I live for, that split second when you realize that this is not what the world is but what it should be.

I doubt that most people would ever expect to experience such a moment at Davey’s Uptown. In fact, most people wouldn’t step near Davey’s, which in even the best of terms is a dive roadhouse bar located across the street from an adult bookstore. But it is the best place in this town to see live music and on Friday and Saturday night Alejandro Escovedo returned to the stage after a three year absence and proved to everyone there what music can really accomplish.

I know his name might not be familiar but his story is one of legend. Alejandro started out in the San Francisco punk scene and he has the honor of being part of the last band to open for the Sex Pistols (the first time around. The show where Johnny Rotten sat on the stage, looked at the crowd and said “Have you ever felt like you’ve been cheated?” and walked off stage, breaking up the band.) From there he played in various rock bands and became a legend in Austin. During the nineties he began to blend differing musical styles together, using steel guitar and violins and cellos all in the same song. Those albums, the best of which is Gravity, are some of my favorites.

That was the story I knew two years ago. Then, one night, while sitting at a bar getting as drunk as I humanly could as a result of an email I had received that afternoon, I ended up talking to a random guy about music and started talking about Alejandro. Who he informed me had recently collapsed after a concert, that he was still hospitalized and that they were trying to raise funds for his medical bills. That news made my little problems pale in comparison and the next day I sent in my contribution and hoped that one day I’d get to see Alejandro play one more time.

It took two years but there I was, standing in front of the stage. Alejandro brought his orchestra with him (including violin, cello, keyboards, and John Dee Graham on guitar) and the room was packed with people shouting “Welcome Back” as he took the stage. He looked thin and frail. Or at least he did until he played that first note and sang his first line. It was a rejuvenation, all of his health issues, all financial worries just faded away. This was his stage and this was his time. It was the absolute best that I’ve ever heard him sound. If you haven’t heard the songs it is tough to describe but imagine violins soaring into a punk rock song. Or a cello filling in the notes between a ballad. But even that pales to the emotion that came from the stage and the crowd. When he covered “All the Young Dudes” and yelled to the crowd to sing along with “I’ve waited a couple of years for this/” You knew that everyone in the room was of the same mind.

At the end of the day, I’m just a music fan. A guy who probably spends too much on CDs and goes to shows of bands he doesn’t really like just because he happened to buy one of their CDs ten years ago. But I wouldn’t change it for the world because being that fan presents me with the moments that I had this weekend. Of being able to watch someone overcome incredible obstacles to do what he wants to do more than anything in the world and do it better than he ever has before. There is a power in that moment. You feel alive, you feel invigorated and you feel that it is your duty to do what you love for the rest of your life. And I have a feeling that the people who saw Journey last night didn’t leave with the same thought in their soul.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Sometimes the darkness looks back

(I swear I saw this headline on CNN.com on Friday. “Everybody Hates Chris. Why?” I ask that question all the time. Nice to know that international news services are also looking into the matter.)

I’ve spent the past three nights having some of the best concert experiences of my life so I’ll be writing concert reviews for the next two nights. Tonight it’ll be about the Richard Buckner show on Thursday (the one that resulted in my incredibly late post). Tomorrow will be on Alejandro Escovedo’s two night stand at Davey’s. Even if you’ve never heard a note of either guy’s music (and trust me, you have, you just don’t know about it yet), you’ll want to read the reviews. And Super: I will address your comments some time this week. I need a few days to craft a response, though the evidence of the loyal female blog followers is definitely lacking. Anyway, music review time.

You might not know the name Richard Buckner but you have heard his music. Back during the summer Olympics Volkswagen started playing a commercial that was a simplistic at its core. Just a couple driving through the wilderness with this acoustic guitar and a voice singing in the background “But, O, where you lay your head tonight, I’ll roll away alone and close on down.” That song seeping mysteriously into the background was Richard Buckner’s “Ariel Ramirez” off of the brilliant album Since. Well, an edited version of the song taking all of the references to death and despair, which are probably not what you want in your car ad.

See, Richard is an incredibly peculiar artist. His music is dark and mysterious in a way that is really unopposed. It is the opposite of what death metal bands and all of those hard rock bands who try to show that they’ve seen evil. All of those bands make it a farce because unless the devil’s weapon of choice is hairspray (and after spending enough time in suburban malls, it very well may be), they are all much to upbeat and energetic to truly be dark. Richard, on the other hand, he looked into the darkness of his own soul and it looked back. And that’s what his music is about.

He’s grown more inventive and creative as the years have gone by. He’s basically ignored song structure, I don’t believe that he’s written a song with a chorus in it for ten years. No straightforward lyrics either, I’ve listened to songs while reading the lyrics and puzzled over what they actually mean. In my heart, I know from the notes and the timber of his voice that it is about heartbreak and despair and in rare occasions, rebirth. He’s nearly given up on even tracking his discs, he lists the lyrics in one big block with no notation as to where one song begins and another ends. This was emphasized in the album The Hill where he interpreted a number of Edgar Lee Master’s poems, placed them to music, and recorded it as a single track on a disc.

His show on Thursday night was the culmination of this path that I have watched him on for nearly seven years now. A bare stage with only two acoustic guitars at his feet. He sat down and without speaking a word to the audience, plugged in a guitar and started to play. He finished his first song and then started to loop some acoustic playing. Then, with the loop going on in the background he unplugged the guitar, picked up the other, plugged back in, and started playing over the loop, eventually stopping the loop and going into the next song. He did this non stop for the entire set.

You couldn’t tell where a song started or ended. The crowd had to pick moments to clap in appreciation. There was no stage banter, no requests from the audience, just continual music for an hour and fifteen minutes. Then, with a loop going in the background, he said “Thank you all for coming. Good night” and walked off stage. We all clap for an encore so he steps back on stage (with the loop still playing) and goes into two more songs, finishing with Fater, an essentially acapella track. He stops the loop and again thanks the crowd and that ends the show. A full set and an encore in which the music never stopped.

There’s a lot of people who say that you can’t do anything new in music. There are only so many notes and when people like Mozart had first crack at them there really isn’t much room for innovation. But I’ve never seen anything like that, an attempt to reinterpret what a concert is. Especially what one person can do onstage. It’s as if we all peered into the shadows and left with the euphoria of coming out alive. Maybe it’s not what everyone is looking for in a concert experience but it is definitely unforgettable.

(One side story: while Richard’s music is quite possibly the darkest stuff I’ve ever heard, he is a completely different guy offstage. I was next to him at the bar for a few minutes before the show and was joking about life in Austin and he is a great guy. Just laughing and joking around. But when he steps on stage it is truly a metamorphosis. Singing with his eyes closed, sometimes unleashing what almost seems to be a guttural roar, it’s like a totally different person.)

The five random CDs for the week:
1) Guster “Lost and Gone Forever”
2) U2 “Live at Notre Dame”
3) Jack Ingram “Jack Ingram”
4) Allison Moorer “The Hardest Part”
5) Old 97s “Early Tracks”

Friday, July 22, 2005

Old quotes

(You know it's been a long night when you post after Super's late night comments. Read this last one as it poses the very important question "Are there any women actually reading the blog?" Well, that's the question that is most important to me at least.)

Ok, it is insanely late right now and I have to be at work in, uh, five hours or so but I'll still struggle through a post. Or to be more accurate, I'm going to use other people's words for me. Anyone who knows me is familiar with my tendency to end emails with quotes. I'm a collector of them. Here are some of my favorites from the literary world. Enjoy and have a great weekend everyone.

"Both Maris and I were inveterate quotation collectors, but what did this one mean?" Jonathan Carroll 'Sleeping in Flame'

"Westward the course of empire takes it way" Title of a short story by David Foster Wallace

"Thou hast committed...", "Fornication? But that was in another country. And besides, the wench is dead." Christopher Marlowe

"Well, it's like this... The Carter parents were a quiet and respectable Lancre family who got into a bit of a mix-up when it came to naming their children. First, they had four daughters, who were christened Hope, Chastity, Prudence and Charity, because naming girls after virtues is an ancient and unremarkable tradition. Then their first son was born and out of some misplaced idea about how the naming business was done he was called Anger Carter, followed later by Jealousy Carter, Bestiality Carter, and Covetousness Carter. Life being what it is, Hope turned out to be a depressive, Chastity was enjoying a life of negotiable affection in Ankh-Morpork, Prudence had thirteen children, and Charity expected to get a dollar's change out of seventy-five pence---whereas the boys had grown into amiable, well-tempered men, and Bestiality Carter was, for example, very kind to animals." Terry Pratchett 'Lords and Ladies'

"A universe where Santa Claus was a good person, not some evil old bastard who sneaked down chimneys once a year to steal all the children's favourite toys." Rob Grant 'Red Dwarf: Backwards'

"Above all, this book is not concerned with Poetry
The subject of it is War, and the pity of War.
The poetry is in the pity.
All a poet can do is warn." Wilfred Owen

"Four be the things I am wiser to know:
Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.
Four be the things I'd be better without:
Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.
Three be the things I shall never attain:
Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
Three be the things I shall have till I die:
Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye." Dorothy Parker 'Inventory'

"Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smell awful;
You might as well live." Dorothy Parker 'Resume'

"Excuse my dust." Dorothy Parker's Epitath

"So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past." F. Scott Fitzgerald 'The Great Gatsby'

"There are no second acts in American lives." F. Scott Fitzgerald

"I know the story you see. I'm writing it all down for you. So that it will be remembered." Neil Gaiman 'Sandman'

"Flowers gathered in the morning,
Afternoon they blossom on,
Still are withered by the evening:
You can be me when I'm gone." Neil Gaiman

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Life in the kinda larger city

I read some Kansas City news today that is both exciting and depressing for me. See, a couple blocks from me is this neat little Flea Market Bar and Grill. It is this hole in the wall type of place, with flea market stalls that you tiptoe through your way through in fear of touching anything that might be exposed. Just that sense of the unknown as you seriously do not know where any of these items has ever come from. And given that a previous flea market patron was a serial killer I find that point of view to be very sensible. However, they have a bar and grill that serves the best hamburgers in town along with really cheap beer. On hot nights like tonight when I have no desire to cook it is one of the best places on the planet to walk to and just sit back, have a beer and a burger, and watch the ball game.

Well, the news today is that the owner is contemplating selling the place. It would be torn down and in its place they would put up, wait for it, a Hooters. Obviously, this leaves me in a sense of conflict. On one hand, living two blocks from a Hooters would have its advantages. I’m not sure what they are offhand but I sure that some must exist. (Though it is a frightening thought that I could gain my “one of the regulars” status like I have at other bars in town). But, I did move to this part of town for the exact reason that those chain places didn’t exist down here. We have privately owned video stores and one of a kind restaurants, and a Chilli’s that no one ever steps foot in. I don’t want Westport to become corporate, to have it become just an extension of the suburbs. The reason people live in a city is because it is just that, a city. With a lot of odds and ends and a bizarre flea market that has bands on Sunday nights and really good bar food. If I wanted to go to Hooters I would stop in at the one in the French Quarter. They could probably use the business.

A couple of other observations from around town this week. At the office park/campus that I work at we’ve started putting up a chain fence around the sidewalks. Actually, only part of the sidewalk. Like about twenty feet of chain every three hundred yards or so. I’m not kidding, I walk around and see these little chains like handrails or guards to prevent you from stepping on the grass. But they are only twenty feet long and they don’t protect anything so you can just walk around them. I don’t even want to know what they are for. Also, I’d like to thank the genius who decided to shut down one of the main roads into a campus that twelve thousand people work in. There are only four ways in, close one of them and you have three thousands people trying to figure out at eight in the morning with no coffee in their system how to get to their office. My commute increased by ten minutes because it was now nearly impossible to reach my parking garage. I should put in for mileage reimbursement.

That’s it for the night. Haven’t read about any more of my youth being remade in movie form. Though I am working on the pitch for a Great Space Coaster movie. I’ve got the tag line already, “It’s time to get aboard.”

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Really stuck in the 80's

Wait a minute, now I am really confused. People are actually paying U.S. currency to see Journey without Steve Perry? How can that be happening? Does the keyboard player have a massive family presence in the Kansas City area? There wasn’t much of a reason to see the band before, now there is zero. On the other hand, at least we now know what the market price for nostalgia is. What amazes me is that Journey is a big enough draw to play the summer sheds while Jack Johnson is playing smaller venues. Explain that one to me.

It’s good to see that we’ve settled the details of The Neverending Story, which I found out today was at the time the most expensive film ever made in Germany. Yes, it was more expensive than all of those slow, plodding Wim Wenders films that I watched during that brief moment when I was intrigued by German filmmakers. (Other than Wings of Desire, you can pretty much ignore the entire genre. Well, I still want to watch Fitzcaraldo but that is another story that I’ll get to later). Anyway, I still think it is a flying dog. It’s one of the few things that I remember about the movie. That and the fact that the premise was that this entire fantasy world was slowly disappearing and there was an awful lot of death for a children’s flick. Not life scarring visuals but one that has stayed with me for a long time.

Of course, that pales to the effect of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I can’t tell you how many times I watched that film as a kid. I read last week where people consider it a cult classic but I certainly remember it being a yearly event movie growing up (just like the Wizard of Oz). Show me anyone who grew up during that time who isn’t afraid of the Oompa Loompas. You could show me that film today and I’d still be freaking out. That and the chicken getting its head cut off during the boat ride as Gene Wilder becomes more and more frighteningly manic. Seriously, I probably first saw that twenty plus years ago and I can remember it more vividly than I remember most of my twenties. Part of me wants to see the new film but I think that I would like to keep my nightmares constant for the time being.

I did read some more news that shows that Hollywood is completely out of ideas. There is a new animated trilogy in the works. A fully rendered 3D trilogy. Of the Smurfs. I’m not kidding. This isn’t going to be a waste of celluloid, it is also going to be a waste of hard drive space. First of all, how are you going to make one movie plot, much less three, out of the Smurfs? They all walk around their happy little village, Gargamel tries to kill them (for some really obscure reason, anyone know why) and Azrael the cat wonders why I’ve stolen his name for a fallen angel in a short story I wrote years ago. That’s about it. Who is clamoring for this? There is no retro nostalgia for this one, I can’t see anyone in Gen X being able to go to a friend and say “Hey, want to catch the Smurfs movie?” (You can do that with Transformers. Hell, I’ll probably end up doing it.) I wouldn’t even want to take my nieces to the film. I’d rather have them read or something. I seriously need to start working on my screenplay.

One last thing, in the best news that I’ve read in months The Frames are going to be playing in Lawrence in October. I am so unbelievably psyched about that show. Since this means that they must be touring I really encourage everyone to find out where they are playing and show up. Back in January I wrote about feeling that I was just an ant, meandering around my little ant farm in a rather sad little existence. We all probably feel that way sometimes. But when you listen to The Frames and especially when you see them in concert, it’s like someone just injected you with brightness and life. This is going to be so cool.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Continuing the theme

Have a couple of points and comments to continue on from last night. Once again, my creative genius is being stolen as Robot Chicken also did an homage to You Can’t Do That On Television. Seriously, what are my legal options here? Seth Green has clearly stolen my idea. Look, just because he was cool enough to get his number in Paris Hilton’s Sidekick doesn’t me he gets to just steal whatever he finds online. I’ll never stoop that low. Well, other than when I literally copy entire sections of The Onion in here. But that is just a tribute, not theft.

The A-Ha sequence in Family Guy last night was awesome. Especially the fact that they included the evil motorcycle mechanics. That part of the video never made any sense to me. I mean, girl getting dragged into a comic book is perfectly sensible but why is everyone chasing each other with a wrench? Also, if you know the name of the flying dog/lion creature in The Neverending Story I must tip my trivia champion hat to you. I still have issues with that movie. It is the biggest rip off of all time. I clearly remember it having closing credits. I think my class action lawsuit against the filmmakers is still pending.

Also, if the governor of Missouri is telling me anything, it’s to never elect a governor who is a) my age and b) republican. I’m still at a loss as to how he decided to fly the Confederate flag in a state park. A state that technically never joined the Confederacy and thus never had the flag flying over it in the first place. This is one of those stories that received zero press around here and that might worry me more than anything. I’ve never expected this to be one of the more progressive parts of the country but I would settle for rational and sane.

In concert news, we have one of the biggest names of all time coming to town this weekend. I am talking about, of course, Journey. Yes, they still exist. No, I have no idea why. I certainly don’t want to know why people will actually spend money for the tickets and since it is at the big amphitheater they are going to be spending money on parking as well. What goes through your mind when you are buying that ticket. “I really hope they play Separate Ways” or “Dude, I so remember scoring to Open Arms” Even if that is the case, how does that inspire you to buy a ticket? I mean, you have Richard Buckner and Alejandro Escovedo playing this weekend. If you choose Steve Perry over those two you might as well turn in your music fan membership card.

(Ok, I’ll admit, the Journey video game was pretty cool. Not too many bands can score their own game)

Sunday, July 17, 2005

News items of note

There has been some encouraging and discouraging news out here in Battling the Current land. The good news is that the blog is apparently back on the leading edge of the pop culture curve. Yes, not only was the Transformers discussion started a day before the link appeared on ESPN’s Page 2 but Family Guy made a You Can’t Do That on Television reference tonight, several months after we spent days discussing the show here. See, this isn’t just meaningless drivel filling up cyberspace. This is actually pointed pop culture analysis that is being stolen by other people online. Someone find my lawyer.

In much more challenging news, I’d like to thank the governor of the great state of Missouri for passing a law that will make it much tougher for me to, uh, “research my novel.” When people complain about my characters and my illogical plot points I’ll know exactly who to blame. Also, I’d like to thank all the people who have now made it illegal for me to buy Sudafed. Actually, I just have to go to the pharmacist and sign paperwork for it. As someone who basically lives on the stuff for nine months of the year, this is really annoying. I know that it is to cut down on the meth trade but man, it’s great to be made to feel like a criminal just because you have a head cold.

For those wondering, yes I did pick up the new Harry Potter book. I have someone in South Bend to thank for getting me hooked on the series. Plus, it is one of the few books in my library that people see and go, “I’ve read that.” I’ve just gotten started in it and, well, nothing is happening yet. I don’t know if J.K. Rowling is just using the first hundred pages as set up as we reintroduce all the characters and plot points since it’s been two years since I read the last one. She really does need an editor. It’s an unbelievably creative story and filled with great incidental details but she has this need to place all of the incidental details into the story. That’s a problem. One of the things that I’ve at least been told about being a writer is that you create this wonderful backstory for a character and the only person who knows about it is the writer. You can’t write the character without knowing details about what high school was like for them but if you put those details in the book the story seems to lose its way. That’s happened in the last few Potter books. Still, I’m for any series that gets kids reading.

Of course, that did not stop one of the local pastors in town from getting time on the news to talk about how the book was bad because it encouraged kids to get involved in the supernatural and paganism and witchcraft. (Yes, this rant again.) First of all, I do wonder if anyone who complains about books like these ever bothers to read them. I’d be hard pressed to find anything socially damaging about Harry Potter. I mean, who wants to have their kids read stories about friendship and loyalty. Plus, I really do want kids to read and this is a way to get them in the bookstore. But here is my biggest problem. Growing up I read this great story about four kids who went into this magical closet and entered into this magical land where they were met by a centaur. There was this evil witch who ruled over the land and was challenged, with the help of the four children, by Aslan the lion. This story is filled with magical spells and supernatural events. It is also an allegory on Christianity by one of the great thinkers of our time. I’m talking about The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis. I wonder if the pastor would like to see that book banned as well.

The five random CDs for the week:
1) The Two Dollar Pistols with Tift Merritt “The Two Dollar Pistols with Tift Merritt”
2) Liz Phair “whitechocolatespaceegg”
3) Various Artists “Down to the Promised Land”
4) Sting “The Dream of the Blue Turtles”
5) Wilco “A.M.”

Thursday, July 14, 2005

How do you disguise a robot, anyway?

I’ll be quick tonight since I just got back from my monthly poker night having just gotten my butt handed to me. I just got beat and beat hard. Ninety percent of it was just bad plays on my part: tried to be aggressive when no one was going to buy it, chased hands that I probably shouldn’t have, and screwed up when I had pocket pairs. Just wasn’t my night. Guess I’ll have to run the simulations a couple of more times until I figure out an optimal strategy. That’s my solution to everything: just rerun the model and eventually you’ll figure it out. That probably explains a lot of things.

Ok, I’m cool with the fact that there is going to be a Transformers movie. My bigger concern is which version of Transformers is going to be covered? I mean, are we talking about the classic Optimus Prime and Megatron era or are we talking the Beast Wars version or that awful Transformers: Armada show? Yes, I have brain cells dedicated to this. I can also discuss the romance of Beatrice and Benedict in Much Ado About Nothing so at least I make up for it in other aspects. Back to the subject at hand, there is a possibility that this could be a decent movie. You’ve got robots, rampant destruction, laser blasts, and for some reason the robots will turn into cars at random moments. I’m not sure how that was ever explained. Or why there was such a good/evil dichotomy. You were either an Autobot or a Decepticon. No one played both sides. Life was so much simpler as a kid.

My bigger concern is that Michael Bay is directing it and he is, well, awful. I don’t even want to get into The Island, coming out in a week or two with Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johannsen. Have you heard about this one? It’s about how in a far off place we build clones of people for spare parts except two of the clones become aware that they are clones and then they escape and try to figure out what is really going on. It’s an interesting plot except for the fact that I saw the exact same plot covered in a movie that was shown on Mystery Science Theater 3000. Yes, a plot that was deemed so horrible that MST3K ripped into it is now your feel good movie of the summer. I guess I’ll add a movie script to my novel and memoir that just has to be written.

That’s it everyone. Have a good weekend. Pick up the Harry Potter book because J.K. Rowling needs even more money.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

The words of Woody Guthrie...

In what is a change of pace this week, I actually have a bunch of topics I want to address…

1) As you all know, this month is Cel Phone Courtesy Month. What, you didn’t know that? You mean you haven’t gotten your special someone that Cel Phone Courtesy Card yet? What’s wrong with you? I’m not making this up. As you all know, I’m not that creative. Anyway, given that this is the appropriate month I feel that this is the proper place and time to address a serious issue. Please, for the sake of humankind, please stop using your phone while you’re in the bathroom. This happened to me twice today. I really do not need to here anyone’s conversation while I’m in there. I also really don’t want to imagine just how much sound can travel through the microphone. Let’s have some respect for whoever is on the other end of the line. I mean, if the conversation is apparently that unimportant just hang up and claim that you lost a signal.
2) Just finished an interesting memoir by Esquire columnist Chuck Klosterman called “Killing Yoursef to Live.” In it Chuck (who looks like a Stand By Me era Corey Feldman aged about fifteen years) travels the country for three weeks visiting places where rock stars died. Add this to “A Long Way Down”, which is about people contemplating suicide and “The Partly Cloudy Patriot”, which is about a liberal stuck in our society, and you can see why my mom always gets on me for never reading anything light. Anyway, there were quite a few things that will stay in my mind. He makes a very good point that apparently the easiest way for a musician to remain famous forever is to die at a very young age. He visits Memphis to reflect on Jeff Buckley, who he explains has gone from an interesting young talent to a genius since his death. I can argue that point, since I thought he was a genius before he died but I can’t argue the next point: since his death you can’t view the songs the same way. Given that Jeff drowned and there is all this water imagery in his songs there is now this prophetic sheen over all of his work. I can’t listen to the songs the same way that I did when I was in college. Chuck even brings up the great point that we all view Kurt Cobain as this epic figure (which I’ve written about), which ignores the fact that when he died Pearl Jam was the much bigger band. It just shows how much we need our myths and since the storytelling legend has gone away we must now create our own.
3) Also, Chuck spends half the book talking about his relationships, which I think our universal for any guy who finds himself in his late twenties/early thirties and realizes that he’s probably thrown away a lot of chances. Basically saying that if I ever could bring myself to write a memoir (and I’m pissed that I can’t take this road trip idea), odds are it will be like this one. If you know me, you might want to keep a lawyer on retainer for the inevitable lawsuit.
4) The good news is that I finally got the comments from Blogger this evening, a day after they were posted. Sometimes I feel that I am going to open up AOL and find emails from someone who wrote me ten years ago. You have to wonder what is still being routed through Mars. Anyway, Batman is just a guy. That is why Batman is such an incredible character. At the end of the day, all he is is a guy with a mask and a cape, who could die at any moment, yet he always throws himself in harm’s way. Doesn’t matter that he has more money than he ever needs and could live a simple life. The horror of his parents’ death, a death that he feels responsible for, drives him into the night for vengeance. Now that leads itself to some great story possibilities. Compare that to Superman, who is basically a god on Earth. Sure, there is still the fact that he would rather go back and live on a farm in Smallville but feels duty bound to his new planet but let’s face it, the guy could take over the planet in a few hours. There’s no drama there. Batman, though, they’ll be exploring that character for a hundred years.
5) Picked up Son Volt’s “Okemah and the Melody of Riot” yesterday. If you want to know my opinion, here are the first lines of the album

Can’t taste holy water
Can’t find it in the well
Been doing a lot of thinking
Thinking about hell

Thinking about the ozone
Thinking about lead
Thinking about the future
And what to do then

The words of Woody Guthrie ringing in my head


All I can say is, damn. When that is your first minute you know you’ll be in awe of the rest. Pick it up now.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Afterschool review

Quick hits time

1) Another potential slogan for the back of the inevitable Battling the Current T-shirt: “What if all we really are is dust in the wind?” Because what is better to describe a site filled with reflections on Kansas than the greatest poets of the great plains, Kansas.
2) Or we could go with “Carry on my wayward son” Either would work.
3) Props to Family Guy over the weekend for breaking out a Herculoids reference. I mean, who wouldn’t want to have Gleep (or possibly Gloop) as a babysitter. I saw a great interview with Seth McFarlane that some of their jokes are meant for everyone and others are “Ten percenters” or “1 percenters”, meaning only one percent of the people watching the show are going to get the reference. That was a definite ten percenter but man, every guy my age who spent way too much time watching cartoons was laughing his ass off.
4) Big Brother report. Looks like Ashlea is going to be evicted on Thursday, which is no big loss. I mean, with that name it’s not like you are destined for greatness or anything. It’s a strange show to get addicted to. I mean, you put eighteen people in a house with absolutely no contact with the outside world: no books, no television, no music, and then have them compete for a ton of money. Oh, and there are cameras on them all the time. I think there is only a certain type of person who can be on that show and if this year is typical, that person would be a model. Still, good way to waste an hour every once in a while.
5) While wandering the DVD aisle at Best Buy this evening I did come across one of those brilliant marketing ideas. I might question who exactly is buying the Highway to Heaven DVDs but the genius who has decided to put the ABC Afterschool specials on DVD should get a medal. I don’t know why I find the prospect of watching those so exciting. It’s like a return to a simpler time when the television could lecture you in a way that was both engrossing and camp at the same time. Personally, I’m waiting for the one where Helen Hunt does LSD and jumps off a building (trust me, I’m not making this up.)
6) Plus, they’ve released an Eastenders DVD. This will mean nothing for people who are not addicted to British television. For those of us who are way too familiar with what is shown on the telly, this is the best news since they decided to release all of Red Dwarf on DVD. (If you like science fiction and comedy at all, search out Red Dwarf. It’s off the wall but it is great stuff)

Monday, July 11, 2005

Bored bored bored

We are at what has to be the toughest time for me as a blogger right now. There is just no material to work with. All of the television shows are in reruns (and Big Brother has just gotten started so I can’t even figure out who I like or dislike yet (though Howie seems to be an idiot)). The only movies out are the Hollywood blockbusters and unless you want to read a doctoral thesis on the dysfunctional family archetypes portrayed by the Fantastic Four I really don’t have much to work with there. (However, I’ve always wondered how being able to stretch became this great superpower. How the hell is that supposed to save the city?) We’re even at the worst three days of the sporting calendar since with the All-Star Game tomorrow there are no official games for three days.

On the other hand, Son Volt’s new album and NCAA Football 2006 are both being released tomorrow, which definitely makes the day a little brighter. Plus, there is the new Harry Potter book coming out next week and I’ve already reserved my space in line at midnight and…I think I’ve said a little too much. Yeah, definitely said a little too much.

I guess I am going around and around trying to say that not much is happening right now. I was going to say that things are boring but that really isn’t the case. Lots of things are in progress, it’s just that my life isn’t taking on its usual farcical qualities at the present moment. That is almost certainly a good thing.

I do want to mention an interesting revelation from last week. When I was desperately trying to find something to post last Thursday I was scouring through my writer’s journals, which I have kept somewhat faithfully since 1998. If you ever wonder where some of my old material comes from there you are, with a seven year backlog I have a lot to choose from. What surprised me is that what I was writing about then is a lot like what I write about now. I mean, I read the sentence “At some point I have to realize that I’m about to be twenty five and I really need to become an adult” and I feel really confident that I’ve written the exact same sentence this year except with, yikes, thirty two as the age.

I’m more amazed that I’ve been able to keep up writing on a consistent basis for over seven years (and well more than half a million words) now. It really was meant as a lark to see if I could just force myself to sit down at a computer and write about my life for fifteen minutes a day. Then it became a place to write about my trips to Europe. Then it was meant to be a journal on business school that I could turn into a book but that kind of fell apart. And now it is being spread across the entire globe thanks to the Interweb. Have to admit, it’s been one hell of a journey. Wonder where it will go from here.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Bread and circuses..

(Blog note: for some strange reason, I’m not getting the email notifications about posted comments like I used to. Haven’t figured out if it is a problem with Blogger or if it’s just the fact that I’m a damn AOLer and I wouldn’t be surprised if AOL decided to delete every email that I receive that isn’t spam. So, if I haven’t commented on your comment yet, trust me, I am reading them and will account for them in the future. Oh, and if you deal with me in real life and are sending me emails and wondering why I’m not responding that might be an AOL problem as well. Of course, that is assuming that people are sending me emails. And we know what assuming does…)

(I completely forgot that the Barry and LeVon pudding sketch contains “Cook, then chill. That’s what I do…I cook and then I chill.” I used that quote for years. Back in college, to keep my interest in EE courses I would start each day’s notes with a random quote and that one made the cut. One day when I’m really bored or out of material I’ll post a semester’s worth. It’s like reliving your life through song lyrics.)

It’s been an interesting weekend. Went to the Royals game (weaseling my way into the corporate box along the way) and it was a fun and crowded game. (Admittedly, free food and drink does make EC a happy boy.) I’m stunned, there were more people at the Royals game, who are currently playing the season in hopes that the entire team doesn’t get demoted to AAA, than were at Sox Park for the White Sox game, who are trying to have the division wrapped up by August. There is something wrong with that picture, though it does give me a lot more faith in this town. They do support their teams and you can’t fault them for it. Plus, the Royals actually won and got twelve hits, which means that I win a dozen free doughnuts from Krispy Kreme. As a single guy, a dozen Krispy Kremes will serve as breakfast, lunch and dinner for a good portion of the week. Sure, it might not be a healthy lifestyle but what is in our fast paced, hectic world.

One of the neat things that has happened since I came back from Nola is that I am reading a lot more, which is a good sign that my mood has changed. Of course, my reading material would indicate otherwise. I finished Nick Hornby’s new novel “A Long Way Down”, which is about four people who meet each other on the roof of a building on New Year’s Eve. It’s an interesting book at parts but I don’t think that I would call it Nick’s best work. Each of the four characters serves as a narrator with the point of view switching every few pages. It’s a tough thing to try and he does it pretty well but he still falls victim to what I’ve found with every book that tries this: about a quarter of the way through you like one of the narrators and would like everyone to just shut up and have just this guy explain everything. Still, anyone who can mention the Drive By Truckers in a book gets my props.

I also picked up Sarah Vowell’s “The Partly Cloudy Patriot”, which is an extremely good read. I like her style and pace on this collection of essays. It’s all very easy and readable with no sense of her showing off. All the esoteric information that she provides just seems to flow with the story and it makes for a very enjoyable read. Plus, I might be stealing part of her style pretty soon. See, while I desperately want to write my novel that is really hard work but a collection of essays on society is an accomplishable task. Of course, I would have no hope of getting mine published unless I changed my name to David Sedaris but it is an idea.

The five random CDs of the week
1) The New Pornographers “Electric Version”
2) Kelly Hogan and the Pine Valley Cosmonauts “Beneath the Country Underdog”
3) Jay Farrar “Sebastopol”
4) Ryan Adams “Heartbreaker”
5) Sinead Lohan “No Mermaid”

Thursday, July 07, 2005

An Ireland story

Going to do a little "Best of" posting tonight. Yes, I know, the past few posts haven't been up to standard and trust me, I have very little to write about today. I try to make people laugh and smile and, on the rare occasion, think with these postings and with the news from London today I really don't know how to do any of those. Just want to say that my thoughts and prayers are with the people of London and all who were in Russell Square this morning, a place I know very well.

I have no idea if this is fitting or not but I found this old vacation story about a special day in Ireland. Sometimes it's the little things in life that stay with you the longest.

Allison Road: For those wondering how this all links in chronologically, all the events listed here occurred over the great weekend, more accurately just getting out of Galway after that interesting night in the hotel room.

I think it is a Contiki thing that every tour has to have an adventure portion. That’s what happens when you have a tour full of younger people. It’s always an optional portion so people like me can always wuss out and do something a little less stressful, like sleep. This time, Rob described the adventure activities. He listed all these great things like climbing ropes, exciting boat rides and all I could think of is this sounds exactly like the OWLS adventure. He then passed around the brochure and I was right, it was on of those team building, let’s push our boundaries, type of things so I stayed the hell away from it. Instead I went to Kylemore Abbey.

So, while the other 5 I had hung around with went to get wet on a boat I went to the Abbey. On the way there I sat in the back of the bus talking to Alison and I had to be the third person to apologize to her for leaving her with Steve the night before. We got there and to be honest it is one of the coolest places I saw in all of Ireland. The Abbey itself is a mansion built 100+ years ago. The guy who built it had his wife and child tragically die after it was built and as a result was so heart stricken he gave up the building completely. After a couple of strange turns of events the Benedictines got a hold of it and set up and Abbey on the sight.

When you first see it, the Abbey is across a river sitting in the midst of a forest with a hill continuing rising in the background. Once we got there, most of the people went inside the gift shop or searched for food. Alison and me seemed to be the only ones willing to spend money and look at the sights. So oft we went, walking down gorgeous trails in what is probably the nicest scenery I ever saw. We walked and talked about the usual small talk (Alison is one of the nicest, sweetest things you’ve ever seen). There was this gorgeous, miniature gothic cathedral on sight with a cemetery full of Celtic crosses next to it. The Abbey itself was just one of those awesome old buildings which fascinate me with their ornateness.

There are two major reasons why I am retelling this tale. One is Alison, who deserves to be remembered, if it is only for me trying to keep her dry that day and brighten up her day a little. Some times you meet people who you wish you had gotten to know better but you didn’t because you were trying to do everything else. That was Alison who had more stories hidden in her than I will ever know. Also, she was the first person to e-mail me when we got back and for that I owe her a story.

The other reason is a spiritual one. I knew that I wouldn’t have much of a chance to go to church on vacation because it isn’t something that 20 year olds do very often. But, for the past several months I have been going faithfully every week and am slowly beginning to appreciate the results. Walking through the cathedral I at least knew that I may not make it to mass but I did find a church and I did thank the man in charge for giving me this opportunity and to show me what can happen in this world. In the end we both lit a votive candle, Alison for world peace and for me the prayers that lie deep within my soul.

While on the spiritual side, I am for the first time in my life wearing a cross. I’ve disparaged people wearing crosses for awhile, especially those who wear them on the outside. But, I bought one and wear one for a purpose, it is next to my heart and reminds me of what is truly my home and reminds me of why I am here in the first place. It stays next to my heart and very few people will ever see it but I know that it is there.

Last note, the adventure people came back wet and pissed. I was blissful which shows why adventure is not always a pleasant experience.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Forgotten television shows: volume five

Back in the days when MTV still played music, when the Real World didn’t consist entirely of people having sex and getting arrested, when Road Rules was actually interesting and MTV Unplugged wasn’t just a crass marketing gimmick, MTV would occasionally produce something brilliant. Be it the humor of Beavis and Butthead or the cool anime of Aeon Flux or Jon Stewart’s talk show, there was a sense of daring and innovation there. And that was no better home for that than The State. A show that was a good decade ahead of its time.

The fun thing is that though you might not remember The State you’ve seen all the actors. They’ve since appeared on Viva Variety and Reno 911, two of the best shows that Comedy Central has ever done. Michael Ian Black had a long run on Ed and apparently makes a living off of the I Love the (Insert Decade Here) shows. They were all a group of young comedians and the show was simple sketch comedy. Except it wasn’t topical parody like Saturday Night Live is supposed to be. And it wasn’t satire like the Ben Stiller Show. It was…it was…it was just bizarre.

Like you had Louie, the guy with the catchphrase “I want to dip my balls in it.” That was the entire sketch. Everything was set to feed lines to this guy so he could yell “I want to dip my balls in it!” over and over and over again. And it was a completely invented catchphrase, it wasn’t something that became popular. From the first time he took the stage it was, here’s Louie and here is his catchphrase. There was something incredibly postmodern about it.

You also had Barry and Levon and their two hundred and forty dollars worth of pudding. (If you remember this sketch I can guarantee that you are laughing and going “Aww yeah…”) Just two guys, dressed in seventies Studio 54 gear, throwing out some inane pickup lines and discussing how they’ve acquired two hundred and forty dollars worth of pudding. I can remember watching this in my dorm room and laughing hysterically while other people would be going “This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen.”

And you had Doug, the “I’m out of here guy.” This was probably their best sketch idea. Doug was your stereotypical slacker with all of his slacker friends who would argue with his dad and always say “I am out of here.” Which would just be a typical slacker sketch except for the fact that they made his dad the coolest person on the planet. I mean, he ran a record label, hung out with bands, drank with Doug’s friends. I mean sketches would end with Doug taking off and his friends still hanging out with his dad. It just seemed to be a perfect example about needing to rebel but having absolutely nothing to rebel against.

I know I can’t do the show justice by talking about it. If you were watching it ten years ago you know that it was hysterical. If you weren’t watching it, you can pray that one day they will finally allow it to come out on DVD. Because you’ll never see a show like that on MTV again. Though I have to admit, Pimp My Ride is pretty cool.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Idea shortage

It’s Tuesday so creativity be damned. I’m just going to do a numbered rant…

1) 80,000+ digits of Pi memorized? My God, that is seriously hardcore. I mean there are ways to do it (it’s a lot of mnemonics and effectively making a story out of the numbers) but the amount of focus that requires is mindboggling. You seriously have to have absolutely no life whatsoever that could cross over into your stream of thought for it to work. On one hand I’m impressed by stories like that and on the other I’m really, really frightened.
2) More congratulations to NASA for successfully crashing a dishwasher into a comet. Ok, there were a lot of cameras and scientific measurements involved but that was the experiment in a nutshell: send a spacecraft millions of miles and drop a dishwasher on a comet and see what happens. That’s the part of science that I enjoy, the “let’s blow stuff up” aspect of it all. It is incredible when you think about it, the precision that is involved to make it all work. I’m still amazed that the Mars rovers are still working. The fact that we can send machines to another planet and have them roll around the surface for over a year is quite a feat.
3) I’d like to thank the people in my neighborhood for deciding last night that one in the morning is the optimal time for the finale to their backyard fireworks show. As a kid I didn’t have a problem with my neighbors who lived across the alley doing that every year. It’s awesome to a ten year old. Last night all I was thinking was “Come on, I have to be at work in the morning.” That’s sad, isn’t it?
4) I’ve been holding off on telling this story for a month. There is the best concert ever coming to town next month. Def Leppard is playing Kansas City. And not just anywhere in Kansas City, they are playing the minor league baseball stadium. (That’s not where the Royals play. KC has its own minor league team. Look, don’t make me explain these things. My head hurts enough as it is.) See, this is what I mean about bands reaching the point where they’ve become parodies of themselves. Talk about being one step away from complaining about being billed below the puppet show.
5) I only watched about five minutes of the Live 8 concerts. Turned it on and saw Destiny’s Child and thought that they had just broke up so I was really wondering what the point of the whole thing was. It just didn’t seem like something that was going to keep me glued to the set all afternoon. That was the problem, you couldn’t really understand what the overall purpose was. I mean, debt relief for Africa is a noble effort but I can’t put a picture to it. Live Aid was great in that you knew exactly what the cause was and how you could help. Plus, they just had better tunes. Phil Collins notwithstanding.

Monday, July 04, 2005

Defining punk

It’s been a three day holiday weekend and I really haven’t had much to do. I mean, other than watch tv, which I did in great abundance. I’m not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing but at least it provided me with a lot of great material.

First of all, I would like to thank ESPN for broadcasting the Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog competition live this afternoon. Because you haven’t lived until you’ve actually watched someone pound down forty some hot dogs in twelve minutes. It is a rather fascinating and disturbing sight made all the more stranger by the announcers treating this like a full fledged sporting event. I mean, competitor profiles, discussions of technique, an explanation of the dreaded “reversal”. I’ve seen college basketball games with less detailed coverage. I’m pretty sure that the freak show has now entered the main stage.

The other thing I discovered was that this month is Punk month on IFC (the Independent Film Channel or channel 317 on most cable systems). IFC is a neat little channel, especially since it has a monthly show called “Henry’s Film Corner”, which consists of Henry Rollins ranting about movies for half an hour. So, combine Henry Rollins with punk month and you know that you are in for a treat. Like Henry discussing the film “The Decline of Western Civilization”, which as Henry states “Examines the American punk scene featuring bands like the New York Dolls, the Stooges, and Black Flag.” Nice way to get your own band referenced in there. Not like everyone watching the show knew that you were in Black Flag.

The more interesting point is that he had on John Doe from X and Steve Jones from the Sex Pistols talking about what it meant to be punk. You had Henry’s point that he went from watching Jimmy Page in concert from a city block away to being sweated on by the bands in small clubs. John and Steve brought up the point that the entire point of the scene was passion and rebellion. I don’t think it was as much a rebellion against society or a goal of creating anarchy. I think it really was a rebellion against the blandness and dullness of everyday life in the 70’s. Watch any of the news coverage of the time and it was just a gray time with a bad economy and a cold war and bad music. Punk was a way of saying “Screw that, we’re alive and we’re going to give this everything we’ve got.” Didn’t matter that they had no musical talent, pure emotion could carry the day.

It made me think about what I appreciate in music. I’ll gladly listen to The Clash every chance I get because they were a band that hit on all cylinders. In no way were they the most musically gifted band in the world but when they took the stage they were the only band that mattered. You can’t say that about Emerson, Lake and Palmer or any of the prog rock guys. They were brilliant musical geniuses but at times it is like listening to mathematical formulas, technically brilliant but with no soul. I guess it’s why I always like artists who are just starting out. They can make mistakes but cover for them with enthusiasm and desire and that means more to me than technical brilliance.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

The Last Stand of The Get Up Kids

Often I have people trying to make me explain my fascination with music. It’s usually in response to having seen my CD collection. I have more Jeff Buckley CDs than many people have CDs in general and they really want to understand how that can be. I usually rattle off something about the vitality of music and the essence of art. I think from now on I’ll just describe the concert I attended last night, the last stand of The Get Up Kids.

Honestly, I would never have heard of The Get Up Kids unless I had moved out here and happened to work with the brother of the rhythm section. That is no way in saying that they did not have popular acclaim, they’ve sold about a half million records over their career, which is much more than any of the alt-country bands that I listen to on a regular basis. They were lumped into alternately into the punk scene (think Green Day) or the emo scene (think, well, emo bands). I still feel that both of those are unfair comparisons because I simply view them as an alt rock. A really strong, alt rock band. They wouldn’t normally be on my radar but I’m glad that I’ve had a chance to listen to them over the past year or so.

Last night was their farewell concert. After ten years as a band they’ve decided to move on to the next step in their careers. It seems to be one of the most amicable and reasonable breakups I’ve seen. Typically, a band breaks up because someone wants a solo career, or there are factions forming within the band, or simply everyone hates the lead singer. The Get Up Kids are ending their career for reasons like, “The lead singer is a dad now and wants to spend more time with his family.” But before they called it quits they decided to have one last party in Kansas City and what a night.

You knew it was going to be a big night in the afternoon. While driving around yesterday I drove by the theater and saw people waiting in line at two in the afternoon for a show where the doors were opening at seven. When I got there at seven the line to get in was three blocks long. And it wasn’t just local kids. You started talking to people in line and started hearing things like “I’m from Texas” or “I drove all the way from New York” or “We flew in from Sydney, Australia.” I’m serious, people came from Sydney to be a part of this. That is as close to being on the other side of the world as is possible. That is the level of passion that was shown last night.

Everything seemed to work last night. Veda opened and showed that they are going to be a band you’ll hear from in the future. They’re like a twenty-first version of the Blake Babies and I mean that as a huge compliment. But they were just a prelude to the main event as evidenced by the fact that they started packing up their gear before the feedback from their last song had subsided. Lucero put on a strong, if uneventful, set. Even the set up for The Get Up Kids was cool with London Calling playing in the background. It ended up with the cool effect of the current coming up with “Death or Glory” fading away in the background. I’ll give credit to any band who will play the only band that matters before they take the stage. Which they did to Europe’s “The Final Countdown”, which just made sure that everyone knew that tonight was meant to be a celebration.

Which it was and that is what makes it special. Most bands don’t get to end their careers as friends or with a huge supportive crowd. They either end like Uncle Tupelo (whose last set list quite possibly was written by lawyers) or they end up staying past their welcome and ending their run in some third rate bar in Boise. Last night, The Get Up Kids were five guys who were great friends and loved playing together and wanted to go out in style. Everything was high energy and it didn’t matter that a ton of technical issues were popping up (like the fact that entire banks of monitors were failing), they were going to play until they collapsed. And the crowd was with them the entire time, surging to the stage, crowd surfing, singing along to every song, and just enjoying the night.

For me, it was a thrill to be there but I also knew that it had to be a rush for the band, who are just a bunch of guys from Kansas City. To know that people traveled from around the world to hear you play one last time, to have the crowd chanting “The Get Up Kids” before the encore, is there anything else that one could want in the world? I get a thrill knowing that occasionally people I don’t know read the blog and I don’t imagine that anyone is having their life fundamentally changed by it. I can’t imagine what it must have felt like onstage last night. To have that one moment that you can point to whenever someone asks, “What have you accomplished with your life?”

I find those moments in music more than anywhere else. It’s why I stroll through records stores every chance I get, searching for something new that will connect with me and lead me on another path. It’s best when you find a band like The Get Up Kids, they might not sell out arenas but they have a loyal and devoted fanbase filled with people who are connected to the music. It creates a sense of community that you just typically don’t encounter and you can’t help but feel that the world is a better place after being a part of it.

When the Gear Daddies broke up, someone wrote the following “Other music has meant more to me on headier levels; other bands have defined me more. But for as long as I live I will never, ever love a band the way I loved the Gear Daddies.” For much of the crowd last night, the same could be said of The Get Up Kids. They may not have changed the face of popular music, they might not have popped up on TRL, but for a group of people they were the band they would cross the world to see. They will be missed.

The five random CDs of the week
1) Sting “Ten Summoner’s Tales”
2) The Insiders “Not For Sale”
3) The Handsome Family “In the Air”
4) Lucinda Williams “World Without Tears”
5) The Frames “The Roads Outgrown”

Friday, July 01, 2005

A bit of culture

Just came back from watching Bettie Serveert in concert along with, oh, maybe forty other people. It’s sad to be at a show with that few people there. I mean, when the band gets on the stage and goes “What, are people in this town afraid of thunder” you really don’t feel any confidence in arguing about your town’s vibrant music scene. It was a good set and heck, there aren’t too many bands left from the 120 Minutes era so you have to see them while you can. I just wish that more people would share my enthusiasm.

(Oh, and a note to the Grand Emporium. For the love of God, follow the convention of the rest of this town and have the time on the ticket mean the time the first band starts. I am sick of showing up to the club and either having to wait in line outside or having to sit through a sound check or discover that I missed the opening act because you finally decided to follow your own schedule. You already ruined the décor of the club, please don’t make things any worse.)

Since I’ve been forced to listen to Les Miserables this week and I figure that it is my duty to enlighten people, or at least allow guys to sound somewhat cultured when they’re trying to impress women, here are some quick talking points. It is a great musical for one and a half acts, up to the death of Javert, which on stage can be viewed as either really cool or really silly. Once Javert dies you have reached the point where every interesting character is dead and the couple left standing (Marius and Cosette) are the most annoying characters in the history of the theater. Cosette spends the entire play whining, even though she was rescued from a tough life and has been living a life of privilege for a decade. Marius, on the other hand, is the most cold hearted character ever written.

Let me explain. There is this character Eponine who is madly in love with Marius but he really doesn’t pay attention to her. This gives her the chance to have the showstopping song about unrequited love. Things happen and Eponine gets shot, dying in Marius’ arms and giving them the chance for one final duet. So, how does this effect Marius? It doesn’t. In the very next song Marius, with Eponine’s blood literally on his hands, starts singing about how much he misses Cosette. I mean, they might as well be honest and have the scene be the second Eponine dies Marius go, “Well, that was awkward”, let her body drop to the floor, and say “Moving on.” At least have him wonder if he made the right choice or not. That bit has always bugged me about the play.

So use this imparted knowledge wisely. You never know when it might come in handy.

(Oh, and I did promise additional blog slogans. Here are the two best ones that I’ve come up with. A) KS: WTF? and B) Battling the Current: Bringing culture to Kansas… because world peace is just too easy. That second one was originally going to be “because solving Fermat’s Last Theorem is just too easy” but we don’t need to be too much of a math geek about things.)