Thursday, September 29, 2005

Sox win!

The White Sox clinched the division! The White Sox clinched the division! It’s time to riot in the streets. We are actually going to be playing baseball in October on the South Side. I mean, in games that will count and everything. This is a thrill for me. It’s usually a once a decade occurrence so enjoy it while you can. But maybe, just maybe, this is our year.

I think that I will try to explain my White Sox fandom tonight. It is something that no one who isn’t from Chicago seems to understand. Everyone I meet just assumes that I am a Cubs fan. I mean, you’re from Chicago, that must automatically make you a Cubs fan, right? Wrong. When you are born in Chicago you automatically become a Bears fan. You are a Bulls fan when they have a team that could conceivably make the playoffs. If your parents are part of the twenty percent of the population who cares about hockey you are a Blackhawks fan. But baseball, that is dependent on where you were born and the way your family works.

Traditionally, if you are from the North Side you are a Cubs fan and if you are from the South Side (like myself) you are a Sox fan. That is part of the reason why the two teams have such differing images. The North Side of the city is the well educated, upper crust part of the city. The South Side is the blue collar side. The old meat packing houses were on the South Side. The mills were on the South Side. It was the tough edged part of town.

Here’s the best way to explain it. When you go to Wrigley Field you go to have a few beers, hang out in the crowd, try to hook up and maybe even watch a bit of the game. You might check the score from time to time but it doesn’t really matter. Heck, they’ll raise that flag with a W on it if the team wins. At a Sox game you are there to drink and watch the game. And maybe get into a fight. Especially if the first base coach is pissing you off.

This doesn’t explain really how I ended up a Sox fan. Like I said, in the end it is all about family. My grandfather (who loaded freight cars for a living) was a Sox fan from way back in the day. My mom, in order to rile up my grandfather a bit, became a Cubs fan. I, feeling that the tradition must be continued, cheer the White Sox. Plus, there was never a stadium cooler than old Comiskey. With the exploding scoreboard and the picnic area in the outfield and the concrete falling from the walls and the pillars everywhere, it was just a cool place to watch baseball. I like the fact that I saw my first game in the place where Babe Ruth played and the first All Star Game was held.

In the end, cheering the Sox is like always being the little brother. You never get the attention, people wonder just why you exist but you know, deep in your heart, that one day you are going to show your big brother up. And when that happens, man, you will not believe the celebration that will occur.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

MTV: Should you still want it?

First of all, I’d like to give a warm welcome to my newest nephew Jack, who was born this afternoon. Jack helps to even out the numbers as I now have three nieces and three nephews. True story, when I was home over the weekend I saw that my mom had set up on a table in the living room the wedding pictures of all my siblings, which meant that I was noticeably absent. This might be a sign. I might be needing to get my butt in gear pretty soon before I’m out of the will.

(Oh, and I’ll be picking up the Family Guy DVD this week. Expect a review sometime in the future.)

Ok, here is a topic that I’ve been wanting to address for a while, the current state of MTV. Yes, I long for the days of Remote Control, which I remember being on at five. While I’m probably a bit out of line saying that they haven’t come up with anything interesting in the last five years I’m probably not that far off base.

We can start with the fact that they don’t play videos anymore. Actually they do but it is on MTV2 or MTV Hits, which are in the 250s on my cable system. That fact doesn’t really matter in this analysis since MTV is now marketing itself as a lifestyle brand as opposed to a radio station with pictures. I definitely won’t mark against them that they play mainly hip hop since that is what the audience wants and I am not their target market. That said, when you have a video award show and you don’t show any videos, there might be a little bit of a problem.

I have a bigger problem when the first thing to come to mind when discussing interesting shows is past seasons of The Real World. To me, that is the definition of a show that has lost its purpose. It started off as mainly a documentary, giving a pretty realistic (though stylized) view of what it was like to be in your early twenties. The New York cast had jobs. Through London they were basically real people. With Miami they started to cast the show more for conflict, which was interesting and creative. Starting with Las Vegas though the show has become more about people trying to become famous, ensure that they get cast on the Road Rules/Real World challenges, and trying to see how close they can make the show into porn. I mean, that is the next step right? In two seasons they’ll put webcams in the house and it will become porn. That’s not entirely a good thing.

The lifestyle shows aren’t anything to write home about either. Pimp My Ride has its moments and I wouldn’t mind having my car pimped out like that, though I think if I left it out on the street it would get jacked in three minutes. Shows like Laguna Beach are strange to me more because I’ve never lived in California and experienced that surfer, we’re all models/actors mindset. To me, it’s like watching German art films. You know that there are people talking but nothing you see or hear makes any sense. I’ll give MTV credit as the dating shows have always been pretty good, though you really couldn’t touch Singled Out. That is the type of show that I am looking for: it’s funny, hip, has Jenny McCarthy and is actually a decent gameshow.

What I’m really hoping MTV returns to are shows that push boundaries and make you go “What the hell is that?” Jackass did that in a good way. Tom Green, not so much. (Actually, that was really meta comedy and was funny by not being funny in the same way Andy Kaufman was nearly twenty years earlier. However, at the end of the day Andy Kaufman is a genius and Tom Green is the guy who stuck his arm up a cow.) Even shows like Aeon Flux made you wonder just what was going on in the back room.

Wait a minute, I just solved my own question. I now remember the last interesting show that MTV had. It was the Spider Man cartoon a few years back, which had all of this freaky cel shaded animation and Doogie Howser and Lisa Loeb doing the voices. That was different and interesting. I’d like more of that. Oh, and how about some reruns of The Monkees, Monty Python and The Young Ones while you’re at it.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Forgotten Television Shows: Volume Seven

(Continuing the series in which we bring up the shows that in a perfect world will be available on DVD within our lifetime)

Ok, so you’re in high school in the late 80’s and if you are like any other teenager your life revolves around MTV. But, if you were like me and only one television in the house got cable that meant that you had to wait until your parents were out in order to catch the best show ever made. The show that redefined about a half dozen genres. The show that made Ken Ober a household name. I am talking about, of course, Remote Control. The game show for people who watch way too much television.

At its essence, it was simply a three person quiz show. Host asks questions, contestants answer them. Slowly eliminate the contestants until one is left standing for the bonus round. But talk about great execution of a concept. First, all of the contestants are sitting in recliners eating and throwing popcorn at each other. Then the questions could range from either standard television trivia to great categories like “Dead or Canadian?” Or you could choose “Beat the Bishop”, in which the contestant had to solve a rather complicated math problem while a guy in a bishop’s outfit ran through the audience. Even a contestant’s elimination was handled in a cool way, as they were essentially flung through the back wall of the set.

Of course, everyone’s favorite category was sing along with Colin in which Colin Quinn (Who is famous to this day because of this bit) would sing pop songs horribly off key while the loverly Kari Weurher looked on and the contestants had to finish the lyric. It was confusing, funny and challenging all at the same time. Colin wasn’t the only one who got famous from the show. Adam Sandler got a break from it. Hell, I still remember the show where LL Cool J appeared and helped out a contestant for half the episode. You never knew what was going to happen.

And the bonus round was the most challenging thing ever designed. Nine music videos showing on nine screens simultaneously and you have to name all nine to win. Even as a kid who watched a ton of videos I don’t know if I was ever able to name all nine. It was nearly impossible. When someone did it it was like when someone beat Ben Stein on Win Ben Stein’s Money, you actually cheered.

So why have I spent a page talking about a game show that hasn’t aired for well over a decade. Because this show was an example of what MTV was back when it was creative. It wasn’t a block of videos but there was no question that it belonged on MTV. There was music and pop culture and one heck of a good game show. Think about it, name an interesting show from MTV in the past five years. Pimp my Ride? Maybe Punk’d? Jackass was cool but do any of these have anything to do with music. Remote Control did and as a result there are a lot of aging Gen X’ers who will always know what you mean when you say “Kenny wasn’t like the other kids…”

Monday, September 26, 2005

The trivial and the unexplained...

I’ll start out with the incredibly trivial tonight: Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore got married. Here’s my question, how does this even count as entertainment news? Seriously, Ashton is on That 70’s Show, which is a second or third tier Fox show and Demi is, well, why the hell is Demi Moore famous? Is it still because of that Vanity Fair cover where she was wearing the body paint? Because she was married to Bruce Willis? Because she starred as the least memorable stripper ever in that Burt Reynolds film? We need some surveys to figure out why this is considered a Yahoo headline.

On even more trivial (but very uplifting) news, Lindsey Lohan has put on weight and gone back to being a redhead. To which all of us who had donated a paycheck to the “Buy Lindsey a sandwich” fund can feel proud in that we have truly made a difference in this world. Actually, I’ll just be happy to have people with slightly more realistic body images on television. I view this as a one step at a time process until we reach that true level of wisdom in which guys with graying hair and glasses are viewed as the sexiest people on the planet. I mean, there are some undeniable truths after all.

Ok, I’ve talked about the writer Jonathan Carroll in this space before. He is an incredibly talented, incredibly creative, though sometimes disconcerting writer. My best explanation of his work is that he writes the best opening two thirds of a novel that I’ve ever seen. It’s that last third that always seems to be a problem. The other thing about his work is that after you read it months later you think about it and you can’t remember if it was something you read or something that you dreamt or something that you lived. And I can attest to that, as I dreamt that I was in White Apples while I was reading it. But this next story is even weirder.

One night a few weekends ago I had a very strange dream. I dreamt that I was walking back from the bar late at night and as I was making my way home I saw something walking on the sidewalk, just on the edge of the grass. What it was pretty much floored me. It was a little person. Not hobbit sized but like six inches tall, just making it’s way down the sidewalk minding its own business while everyone walked by and went, “Well, would you look at that.” When I woke up I went “Wow, that one was pretty weird” and figured that maybe I should just cut back on some of my less desirable habits. But for the most part I paid it no mind. Until yesterday.

I’m at Midway Airport going on much less sleep than I should. I grab my copy of Glass Soup and figure that at least I have a new novel to burn some airport time with. So the book starts with a character at the end of his rope, his entire life having collapsed around him, getting dressed to go to work feeling that if he didn’t produce he’d be fired by the end of the day. And on page 4 this character starts talking to a little guy, about six inches tall, who is standing on his nightstand. This is really frightening. It’s one thing to dream something you’ve read. It’s much different to read something you’ve dreamt.

I’m not sure if I should take this as a sign or not. If anything, I’ll use this as another reason to push you to find some of his books. A few are still available in bookstores, he is horribly out of print (but Pamela Anderson isn’t, explain that one to me.) All I know is that it’s nice to know that someone is on the same wavelength as me in this world. I just wonder if it is a good frequency or not.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Staring at the ceiling

Off the top of my head…

1) Went through another trip of airport hell this weekend. When I die and hopefully meet St. Peter at the Pearly Gates I really want to ask just how much of my life was spent sitting on the floor of airports? My God, I’ve had relationships that have been shorter than the amount of time I spent lying on the floor of Midway this afternoon.

2) Oh, and for the people who were in line in front of me with three hundred bags sitting on a baggage cart (all going to be used as carry on) who took the bags but left the cart in the middle of the line so that the rest of us had to scramble over it, I just have this to say: Check your luggage next time you morons. Seriously, am I the only person with even a double digit IQ anymore?

3) Sign that your life just isn’t going the way you expect it. Driving home from the airport and looking up and seeing a billboard proclaiming “Everybody Hates Chris.” It’s one thing to be the title of a Wall Street Journal article but does it have to be a billboard as well? To everyone out there: I’m sorry for whatever it is I did wrong. But come on, you can’t all hate me.

4) Was in South Bend this weekend for a mini-reunion with a number of my friends and the great city of South Bend has decided to reconfigure the roads. All of them, basically. It is always fun to drive down a street that you drove every day for two years and know every inch of and suddenly discover that it is two hundred yards to the south of where it was before. It is the most disconcerting thing in the world. You are lost and you know exactly where you are. You start looking for landmarks like “Ok, if the radio tower is there then the street should be here.” Or you start wondering did they move the street or did all the buildings just move a quarter of a block to the north.

5) In something that means absolutely nothing to anyone other than me, my parents finally found a couple of books that had been lost in my parents’ house for the past two years. This will increase a couple of authors’ totals from a previous posting. The fun thing is how I noticed they were missing in the first place. When I moved I was putting all my books away and looked and figured out I was missing a Terry Pratchett and Jonathan Carroll book. Then a few weeks later I realized that my Jeff Buckley biography was gone. Three months ago I found out that I was missing a James Burke book. And when I did that spreadsheet I figured out that I had a missing Douglas Adams book. If you want a sign that you have too many books there it is. If it takes you two years to realize that something is missing you simply have too much stuff.

6) Oh and on the Cobra Kai front: Hey Peyton, would it bother you if you could throw a touchdown pass every once in a while? You’re just killing me. When I go to my triple Colt lineup I really need you to score more than thirteen points. Hey, sure all that matters is winning but I’ve got a lot of money invested here. Start producing or else.

The five random CDs for the week:
1) The New Pornographers “Mass Romantic”
2) Paul Simon “Graceland”
3) Continental Drifters “Continental Drifters”
4) Sally Timms and Jon Langford “Songs of False Hope and High Values”
5) Various Artists “Down from the Mountain”

Friday, September 23, 2005

Cheating at solitaire

(First, on the comment from yesterday. Haven't you ever watched Oz? All of those guys have unicorn tattoos. And half of them have fluffy bunny tats. Doesn't surprise me at all.)

Ok, here is the current situation. It is one in the morning. I saw Kathleen Edwards in concert, an absolutely great show and pick up her albums Failer and Back to Me. She's Canadian, so you should support her for that fact alone. Plus, she is super cool. But the concert ended a few hours back and I've spent the intervening hours hanging out and stuff (don't worry, I've taken tomorrow off.) What this means is that I am not really in a position to write anything meaningful right now. So instead, it is time to steal from my friends at Mcsweeney's, the best damn magazine on the planet. Here we go

Schoolyard Games for Unpopular Children

  • Hide 'n' Be Lonely
  • Goose Goose Goose
  • Teeter
  • Unhappy-Go-Round
  • Kick the Can, Over and Over Again, Angrily
  • Studio Apartment
  • Very Easy Tag

Ok, maybe not the most impressive list but it was either that or three pages of pirate jokes and I just don't have the stamina to put that together right now. So, I'd just like to wish everyone a happy weekend and enjoy the early fall of our discontent. The Infrequently Asked Questions will make their appearance next week. I know you all are doubled over in anticipation. Take it easy.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

It's still a frog...

(From my Queer Eye for the Straight Guy Desk Calendar (don’t ask): “It’s a special kind of woman who is impressed by your ability to play computer games – and we haven’t found her yet.” Ok, so maybe I am doing something wrong after all. But Monty Python quotes, those are sure to draw in the ladies, right?)

Sorry for last night’s post being slightly delayed for those of you who need it the instant you check the computer. Blogger was giving me some issues and it took until this morning to work them all out. That said, while I’ve had some technical difficulties in the past I can’t really complain about Blogger. It’s a free service and it can handle all of my needs well so no complaints. Other than the spam comments but that was probably unavoidable.

A couple of news stories out today that are worth mentioning. They’ve announced the list of artists eligible for induction in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Sex Pistols and the Stooges are representing punk. I’d go for the Stooges. Sure, the Sex Pistols had more notoriety but other than their attitude, they didn’t have any real lasting input. Induct their manager and maybe Johnny Rotten. John Mellencamp is up and I will only vote for him if he guarantees that he will be referred to only as Johnny Cougar during the entire ceremony. Athletes get to choose their team, we should get to choose the name.

The one I’m really pulling for is the J. Geils Band. Because no band exemplifies the early MTV era than the J. Geils Band. I think entire days of programming were based around the videos for Freeze Frame and Centerfold. And like many in my reading audience, the video for Centerfold is one of those watershed moments of our youth. Other generations had the moon landing, we had a song about a high school girl being a centerfold. Sad to say, those events are probably on par with each other in a number of Gen X’ers minds.

Oh and speaking of moon landings, I’ve taken a look at the new NASA plan for going to the moon and Mars and speaking as someone who has dreamed of working for NASA since I was seven years old my response is: don’t follow this plan. There’s no real logic or purpose to it and it is something that a nation should do when it is fat, dumb and happy. Right now the U.S. probably qualifies for the first two but definitely not the third. Keep sending the rovers, which are doing incredible science and work really well. Wait until we settle out some of our problems down here and then we will go back to exploring the universe.

And one last random story for the night. Saw the Yahoo headline that a Netherlands television station is going to broadcast someone injecting heroin live on the air. Add this to their version of Big Brother, which may feature a woman giving birth, and one must ask the obvious question, “What the hell is up with the Dutch?” Seriously, are they that sick of windmills? Do the wooden shoes cause their brains to cramp up? Hey, I’m all for the liberalization of the media but even I’m going, “Huh?”

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Aargh, me's a genius

Lots of points to make today…

1) Apologies for last night’s post not being as cohesive and insightful as the material deserved. I made the mistake of trying to write something intelligent while simultaneously keeping an eye on my fantasy football ticker as Cobra Kai held on to a one point victory. Yes, even with Peyton Manning having a horrible week I was able to ensure that no one enters the dojo and lives to tell the tale. And for once I get to thank Clinton Portis for winning me a game, by being on the other team. Seriously, they should make a fantasy football rule about this guy. Like, if you are going to draft him you should punch yourself in the groin a half dozen times because that is what it is like to have him as your starting running back.

2) Yes, and I also failed to note that yesterday was “Talk Like a Pirate Day”. In lieu of a full entry written in pirate I’ll just pass along the following joke. A pirate walks into a bar with a captain’s wheel in his pants. Bartender goes “What’s with the wheel?” and the pirate replies “Aargh…it’s driving me nuts.”

3) Yeah, I stole the joke. Look, you try to be creative every night for a year.

4) Here’s a website to check out if you were a computer geek at some point in your life: http://www.the-underdogs.org/. (Thanks to my brother for the site) These guys have basically made it possible to download every old PC game imaginable. I’m not sure what it means that I look and see the Battle of Midway game (the first Commodore 64 game I ever played) and immediately go “I need to download that.” That game is at least 22 years old and I feel that my life will not be complete without owning a copy. Is that wrong? Or the fact that I recognize most of the games on the site? This might explain a lot of things.

5) Once again, I was screwed out of a Macarthur Foundation genius grant. Here I am, inventing a new form of writing in which simple grammar and spelling are nonexistent and do I get recognized for it? No. They say things like “But what have you done for society” and “It’s not art if no one has actually seen it” and “If you don’t leave the premises were calling the police.”

6) Best news of the week is that Jennifer Aniston is now ready to date again. And I for one want to be the first to volunteer to welcome Jennifer back into the dating world. I know that it will be a difficult challenge for me but I feel that I am willing to take on the extra effort of buying her dinner and taking her to a movie. If her agent, oh let’s be honest, Jennifer, if you’re reading this, consider it an open invitation. I mean, Brad Pitt or me, it’s not really much of a contest, is it?

7) Ok, it’s audience participation time once again. I’ve realized that at times people read this without having any idea who I am. And I thank them for reading. But, to help out the newcomers I’m looking for my own version of an Infrequently Asked Questions list. Like: “Ginger or Mary Anne”, “What television character do you most identify with” and “If you could be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, which one would you be?” Just post the most interesting questions that you can come up with and I’ll do a post where you will probably learn a little more about me than you would ever want to know.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Hocus Pocus

Caught something on a rerun of The Daily Show that I thought was worth a mention. The guest was one of my literary idols, Kurt Vonnegut, who has a book of essays out. First of all, that is a book I need to get since you just don’t know how many words Kurt still has in him. He’d be the first person to state that he has spent the past sixty one years of his life on borrowed time. If there was ever someone who realized that life is a gift and to make the most out of your moments on the planet, he is a prime example.

But what I’ve always admired about Vonnegut was something that was brought up in the interview. They were talking about evolution and whether man has advanced and Vonnegut stated what is basically his view of the world, he is amazed at what we can do but disgusted by how little we actually accomplish. As he said, you only have to look at the Inquisition, burning women at the stake, World War I, World War II, the holocaust, ethnic cleansing and Nagasaki and you really have to question just what type of species we really are.

That world view has always been prevalent in Vonnegut’s writing. I know others have considered it to be world weariness or detachment or cynicism in reality it is more disappointment. Disappointment that after centuries of the same stories being repeated over and over no one is smart enough to change the plot. And Kurt has been the observer now for sixty years, ever since he stepped out of the cellar in Dresden and found himself on the surface of the moon.

I’m not sure if that sense of being an observer is what drew me to his work. Jon Stewart said it well during the introduction, “This man made by adolescence bearable.” It was just this feeling that as you read Slaughterhouse Five or Cat’s Cradle that you realized that this guy got it. This guy understood what the world was like and was going to put it on paper. Not the sanitized view of life that we all convince ourselves is reality but the truth that we all try to hide. Because we all like to think that we live in a moral and ethical world but we don’t. There’s hatred and randomness all around and Vonnegut made sure that everyone was aware.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Weekend stories

A couple of stories from the weekend…

1) As I’ve always said, living in Kansas City is an adventure. Things happen here that you just would not expect to happen anyplace else. Like random radio station format changes. See, I had found that there was one good music station in this town: The Planet, which would play Jack Johnson and Ben Folds songs along with a neverending stream of Dave Matthews and Matchbox 20. But it was at least something that you could put on and not be offended by. Well, Friday evening after finishing my last CD for the week I flip on the station and discover that it is now The Max. And they rock. Because I know that I just can’t get enough AC/DC in this town. Seriously, I’ve lost the one good modern rock station and have gained a bad classic rock station. Only in KC.
2) Still, here is my best Planet story. They invested a lot of money in sending a signal that allowed them to show the song title and artist on your car stereo. That was really cool. They also would show their slogan “World Class Rock”. Well, the first time they did this they didn’t realize the number of characters the typical car stereo would show. Thus, in one of my favorite moments of last year while listening to Rob Thomas warble on I looked down at my stereo and read “ass Rock.” Couldn’t agree more myself.
3) Didn’t do much this weekend other than turn this into my Fall Cleaning weekend. I finally made my way through my closets and have ended up with three garbage bags filled with clothes to give to charity. For the most part they’re good clothes, it’s just that they are from about six years and forty pounds ago. Which reminds me, I really need to get serious on a workout plan. As someone who in college was six foot one and a lean one hundred and forty five pounds, I really don’t believe that I’ve gotten this heavy. Still better than being 145, it certainly wasn’t a good look.
4) Peyton Manning and the Colts basically killed my fantasy team this week. I think I still have a chance but it’s a long shot. Can’t win them all but come on, how the hell can Peyton a) not throw a touchdown pass and b) not throw for over 200 yards. I’ve built my entire team around the guy. He needs to perform pronto.
5) I’m not even going to talk about Notre Dame right now. I’m still pissed about the game. And could it have been any longer? Now that NBC isn’t paying my tuition can I complain mightily about the lengthy television timeouts?
6) Picked up two books from my favorite writers this week. Terry Pratchett’s latest “Thud”, which is another Sam Vines and the City Watch book in the Discworld series. (Think Harry Potter but with more consistent writing) and Jonathan Carroll’s “Glass Soup”. It’s Jonathan’s that leaves me excited to read and nervous at the same time. When I read his last book I, well, for lack of a better term, became a part of the story. I’m not making this up. When I was reading “White Apples” I had a dream where I was the main character, someone I knew was playing the female lead, and we acted out the first hundred pages or so. One of the most bizarre experiences in my life. I woke up and couldn’t figure out what was a dream, what was fiction and what was reality. Who knows what’s going to happen this time around.

The five random CDs for the week:
1) Continental Drifters “Vermillion”
2) Julie Miller “Broken Things”
3) Rachmaninov “Piano Concerto No. 2”
4) The Subdudes “The Subdudes”
5) Sting “The Soul Cages” (which is the first CD that I ever purchased. Wow, don’t know if I should have admitted that one in public)

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Answer Key

You know, one of the reasons I posted the quote list was because I thought that no one would figure most of them out, thereby giving me a great late Thursday night posting. Especially since I would be playing poker on Thursday (did very well and then very poorly) and would need an easy post. But then all of you figured most of them out. Anyway, since I am too lazy to think of something new, here is the official answer key.

1/14/94: Could be Dig, I’m not really sure myself
1/19/94: Counting Crows
1/21/94: Soul Asylum (how in the world could you read that one and think the Beatles?)
1/24/94: Cocteau Twins sounds good. That was definitely a Monday quote after watching 120 Minutes all night
1/26/94: Shakespeare
1/28/94: Tori Amos
1/31/94: The Juliana Hatfield Three
2/2/94: The Freddy Jones Band (who should have been much more popular than they were)
2/4/94: “If it’s ok with you, just let me walk away.” Source unknown. Probably a song lyric
2/7/94: Neville Brothers
2/9/94: Concrete Blonde (Super, getting this one right is pretty amazing. I can’t think of too many people who could recognize one of those lyrics off the top of their heads)
2/11/94: Beck
2/14/94: The Freddy Jones Band
2/16/94: Lou Reed. Correct in that it appeared in the Wim Wender’s film “Faraway, So Close”, which features a monologue by Mikhail Gorbachev in the opening and is about fallen angels. The answer to the Super Bonus question is that I took Heather to see the film, in part because it was Valentine’s Day weekend and I couldn’t stand the thought of being alone that weekend. There’s a bigger story there that I’ll tell one of the days.
2/23/94: “He believed he was safe” First line to Toni Morrison’s novel “Tar Baby”. This day was the worst one of my life. Super, you thought too consciously. You had to think about what my sub-conscious would put on paper when I was at my lowest point. For those of you who wonder what would constitute my worst day here is part of it. Some of you have heard my story about punching a mirror. That happened this day. At noon. Still had a long way to go before that day ended.
2/28/94: The subdudes (actually, I should thank Troy here because if it wasn’t for him and Karen I wouldn’t have the New Orleans artists on here at all)
3/2/94: Zachary Richard
3/14/94: Counting Crows (and I’m embarrassed that I had that line listed. But I’ll tell the story that preceded the quote someday as well)
3/16/94: The best band no one ever heard of: Arc Angels
3/18/94: Stevie Ray Vaughn
3/23/94: The subdudes
3/25/94: I know it’s Ella Fitzgerald and I know that isn’t the one that is in my head right now. The true source is somewhere in my CD collection.
3/25/94: The late, great Material Issue
3/26/94: Smashing Pumpkins
4/1/94: The subdudes
4/4/94: Deftones are as good of a guess as any
4/8/94: Arthur Dent in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy radio show (written by Douglas Adams)
4/11/94: Nirvana
4/13/94: Cracker
4/15/94: Liz Phair
4/18/94: Frente!
4/20/94: Sheryl Crow
4/22/94: “There is something you can do my love to help me through these troubled time, to serve to remind that everything is going to be alright despite my fighting bitter tears, for these are the very best years.” Ok, I need some help here. I know this is a bad alternative band. I know that Beavis and Butthead made fun of it. I know that it goes “da da da da dum”, which is meaningless on a screen. But who the hell is the band? Erik, do you know this one?
5/2/94: Sarah McLachlan
5/4/94: The subdudes

It’s pretty amazing when you think about it. Eleven years later and we can still name all of the bands and it’s not like these were the biggest names of all time. I know none of you have the true backstory to what was going on in my life those months but I swear, these quotes matched exactly what I was feeling at the time. Which even with distance, is still pretty scary and enlightening.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

In a daydream

(Ok, I’m going to leave the lyric contest open for one more day. Last night’s entry had several errors (most notably 1/21/94 (think about what I would have listened to when I was twenty), 3/2/94 (why the hell would I listen to Lionel Ritchie in college?) and 2/7/94 (I didn’t hear Dave Matthews until December 1994). Now, there is an argument to be made that the same lyric might show up in a number of sources so I’ll keep that in mind.

But, the fact that someone figured out the Lou Reed one amazes me. The fun thing is, that is not the voice I hear when I read that line. For that we are going to the bonus round. For five points: Name the movie where Lou Reed sings “Why can’t I be good. Why can’t I be more like a man?” For ten points: Name the director of the film and the world leader he persuaded to appear in it. And for one hundred points: Name the girl I took to see the movie. Let’s see you find that one on Google.

And come on, someone should be able to figure out the worst day of my life. It’s surprisingly obvious.)

(Additional side note: The kid who hacked into Paris Hilton’s cel phone and leaked it to the net just got eleven months in juvie for his crimes. Now, he pulled off a lot of other things that probably merit a punishment but shouldn’t hacking into Paris’ phone be taken into account as something done for the betterment of society? I mean, how else was I supposed to get Lindsey Lohan’s phone number again? It’s not like I run into her at the clubs every weekend.)

Ok, I have a little story today that is a great example of one of my philosophies of life. I was running late this morning, probably at least partly due to the fact that I spent all of last night sitting in the rain listening to Lyle Lovett. But still, I was trying to get to work as fast as I could but somehow after putting on my shoes I sort of spaced out on my couch for two minutes. You know, one of the moments where you’re sitting down and not thinking about anything and then realize, “Whoa, I’ve got to get moving.”

So, I hustle out of my apartment and as I’m locking up I hear a crash of metal from the street. One of those things where you’re not quite sure what happened but it certainly didn’t sound good. Pull out of my driveway and go to make my usual turn to see that there is an SUV overturned right where I drive every morning. (Hope whoever was in it was ok, as I changed my route I saw the fire trucks and ambulances coming by.)

Here’s the thing, if I don’t space out on the couch I am right there when the accident happens. And you know what, that happens to all of us all the time and we never even recognize it. Think about how many accidents you have avoided in your life by being a few minutes early or late. I think our brains protect us by not registering just how random life can be sometimes. I always take it to mean that we should enjoy life while we can and make the world a better place every day. You just never know what can happen to you and a daydream could change your life.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Quotes revisited

Ok, here is where we stand right now. It is incredibly late. I just came back from a Lyle Lovett concert that I should really talk about. And ticketmaster has just screwed over my life in a way that is just indescribable. So, I can either rant and rave for three pages here or go to sleep. I'm choosing the latter. But, in order to meet my content requirements it is time to step back into the quote notebook, this time from ECE 313. As always, most quotes identified wins. Bonus points if you can actually identify which quote was written the morning of the worst day of my life. Enjoy.

1/14/94: Why don’t you believe? Believe in your own God?
1/19/94: I want to be Bob Dylan, and I don’t know how and I don’t know why
1/21/94: Grandfather watches the grandfather clock and the phone hasn’t rang for so long
1/24/94: Is this heaven or Las Vegas
1/26/94: It may be madness but there is method in it.
1/28/94: Tell me you’re crazy maybe then I’ll understand
1/31/94: I don’t smoke so why am I smoking. Took a hit and now I’m choking.
2/2/94: Distance now between us will strengthen us at heart
2/4/94: If it’s ok with you, just let me walk away.
2/7/94: That’s my blood down there
2/9/94: Thinking of you, underneath a Mexican moon
2/11/94: In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey.
2/14/94: If you lost all of your obsessions, would you cling to what you claim are your possessions.
2/16/94: Why can’t I be good, why can’t I act like a man.
2/23/94: He believed he was safe
2/28/94: To think about it would wreck his mind, to let her go would free his soul.
3/2/94: Heart on fire, I can’t stop the burning. I’m running wild like a restless child with my heart on fire.
3/14/94: And everytime she sneezes I believe its love and oh no, I’m not ready for this sort of thing.
3/16/94: I was looking for a lover but I didn’t know the rules. I made 6 wrong turns and nearly died but the seventh time I made it through.
3/18/94: I wish I had you here to hold but all I got is this touch tone phone. Long distance love is gonna drive me out of my mind.
3/23/94: As a child I couldn’t wait to get out of the sleepy south. I left only to find out that I love all the people and the places
3/25/94: A playground and its swing, these foolish things remind me of you.
3/25/94: No one can save us from Kim the waitress.
3/26/94: No more sadness, no more sorrow, no longer will I follow. Can anybody hear me, I just want to be me.
4/1/94: Keep on walking strong, with your heart opened wide, you’ll be satisfied.
4/4/94: One hand will wash the other.
4/8/94: It’s not whose habitat it is, it’s how hard you hit it.
4/11/94: Hey, wait, I’ve got a new complaint. Forever and add to your priceless advice.
4/13/94: Get on this. Get on with it. If you want to change the world, shut your mouth and start this minute.
4/15/94: I never said nothing.
4/18/94: Why can’t I stop thinking of you and me and a labour of love.
4/20/94: I’m leaving Las Vegas
4/22/94: There is something you can do my love to help me through these troubled time, to serve to remind that everything is going to be alright despite my fighting bitter tears, for these are the very best years.
5/2/94: There are two of us talking in circles.
5/4/94: Well alright, bye bye

Monday, September 12, 2005

And another thing...

Haven’t done a random thoughts posting for a while. Here ya go…

1) I love the fact that ESPN’s programming on a Fall Monday night is either a) figure skating or b) gymnastics. It’s like they are just saying “We know we are target audience has no desire to watch us right now. Here is whatever is in the vault.” They should just show old XFL games as an attempt to garner the lowest rating ever.

2) As always, flipping to On the Edge of Country makes my life better. Videos by Jack Ingram and Kelly Willis? Sure, both of the videos were six years old but it’s the best music I’ve seen on television in ages. Well, actually the Wilco documentary I Am Trying To Break Your Heart was on HDTV tonight so that might not be true. (Yeah, I have no idea why a black and white documentary with shaky camera footage was shown in HD. Maybe you need to see the scratches in the film to really get the raw emotion of the piece.)

3) You know what I miss? Australian Rules Football on ESPN. We’ve got like seven ESPNs right now, can’t we get at least a recap show? That was so much fun to watch growing up with guys beating the crap out of each other, a referee in a nice hat who shows that someone has scored by basically giving him a thumbs up and a scoring system that was incomprehensible. Wouldn’t you take that over figure skating? And when was the last time you saw a World’s Strongest Man competition on ESPN2? Is poker more exciting than a bunch of guys from Iceland throwing boulders around?

4) Los Angeles was blacked out today as a result of a utility worker connecting some cables backwards. First of all, you wouldn’t believe how common that is. Second, I would just like to state for the record that in my time at the electric company I was never personally responsible for any significant blackout. A couple of insignificant ones, sure, but none that made the news. (Oh, and can I sue PBS for false advertising? I was at the electric company for six years and it was nothing like the television show.)

5) The Family Guy premiere never really hit on all cylinders last night. I tend to like the episodes centered on Brian but this one just couldn’t get going. However, it was still a half hour well spent just for Peter’s trying to pick up chicks at the Miss USA pageant. “Hey, I’ve got a gift certificate to the Sizzler with your name on it.” Ten bucks I use that line at some point in the next two weeks.

6) Jeff Gordon didn’t make the Nascar chase for the cup. I don’t mention this because I think that anyone reading is interested in the fact. I mention it because I can’t believe that Nascar can’t figure out a way to fix their playoffs so that Jeff Gordon and Dale Earnhardt Jr. are competing in it. Take a lesson from the NBA, the best playoffs are ones that are preordained.

7) Ok, so I’ve discovered that in Dynasty Mode in NCAA Football 2006 you can look at what the press is saying about you. Which means that after losing a game I can read about the alums griping about my performance. Which means that I am critiquing myself. I’m sorry, but that is just too much pressure on me. I don’t want to lose a game and find out that I’ve burned myself in effigy as a result.

8) I have to give props to Illinois, which is 2-0 right now. If basketball season started today, we’d all be a lot happier.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Weekend goes by fast

Wow, it’s Sunday night already. Got another full week in the office ahead of me. This weekend just flew by. It’s like I feel like I was in the office this morning and I have to go straight back. The nice thing is that the weekend going by quickly was a result of things happening in my life, which is a welcome reprieve. Some highlights from the weekend.

Caught the Stacey Earle and Mark Stuart concert on Friday night. Stacey Earle is Steve Earle’s little sister and other than hearing her sing duet on a Steve Earle song that was about all that I knew about her. Obviously, it doesn’t take much for me to see a show. When your criteria has fallen to the “If I’ve heard of you, I’ll listen to you” point, you have to start wondering about what your life has devolved to. It was a really nice show, folk music would be the best way to put it. Had one of the best concert moments of the year by far at the show. For the last song they put down their guitars and sang an a cappella gospel song. That’s cool by itself. Then they walked off the stage, still singing. Walked through the crowd, shaking hands, and continuing to sing the refrain. They reach the back door of the club right as they reach the last few lines and as they finish they walk out of the club. Everyone cheers but as they are applauding they realize that they really aren’t cheering anyone since at this point Stacey and Mark are in the parking lot. Just a cool moment.

Notre Dame won on Saturday, which was awesome. Always great to see us beat Michigan, though you could make a very strong argument that Michigan lost that game more than Notre Dame won it. We got the turnovers in the red zone when we needed them and the fact that we could go to Michigan and hold them off is a really good sign. Haven’t checked the status of Rhema McKnight, if he’s not healthy then the team is in trouble. Can’t really feel confident with Matt Shelton as your secondary receiver. Still, it let me walk around Kansas City in my Notre Dame t-shirt and represent. Can’t complain about that.

(Oh, completely random note. Was at this clothing store where I kind of know the owners and saw that they had the best t-shirt ever (and I am so pissed that I didn’t think of this one first for my soon to be created Battling the Current shirt). It has a picture of that classic Las Vegas neon sign except that it says Kansas City and beneath it it reads “Whatever happens in Kansas City… really doesn’t matter.” Awesome.)

Today has been pretty quiet. Cleaned up the apartment, watched football, led my Fantasy Football team to a pretty significant lead. How do you refer to your managing of a fantasy team? I mean, I am organizing the offense and feel that I did a great job (other than Roy Williams sucking air for me today). Not quite sure what this week has in store for me but it will probably be interesting. And involve a cubicle. Definitely involving a cubicle.

The five random CDs for the week
1) Jay Farrar “Terroir Blues”
2) Dave Matthews Band “Remember Two Things”
3) Pat McGee Band “Shine”
4) Lyle Lovett “Live in Texas”
5) Peabody “Heroine”

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Random encounters

I’m not sure about you guys but I like these short weeks. Just seems like yesterday I spent the entire day lying on the couch and now all I have to do is get through tomorrow and I can spend several more days doing nothing but lying on the couch. Ok, maybe that shouldn’t be my goal in life but at some point I’ll need to reprioritize things. But for now, man, lying on a couch for an afternoon sure sounds like a good idea.

Ok, I was in Lawrence last night and I have a few stories to report. The first is a continuation in my long line of weird license plates seen around town. This time I actually have to say that this one is pretty neat. Leaving the Robert Earl Keen show I saw a car with plates that read KCPOET. You know, given what this site is named, I have to feel that this is someone after my own heart. Admittedly, I would rather avoid anyone who has the word poet on their license plate but the thought is pretty cool.

Next one is a little stranger. Have you ever had someone that you would just randomly run into for months at a time. Not someone you knew, just a completely random face in the crowd that you happen to see. You’re running around the mall and there they are. Go to pick up groceries and you come across them buying milk. Or that no matter what bar you go to, they always seem to have gotten there one drink ahead of you. Well, I ran into the same woman who is at every single concert that I go to. I’m not kidding, I’ve gone to like thirty shows this year and have run into her at twenty of them. It’s gotten to the point where neither of us wants to admit the existence of the other because each time we see each other it’s like, “You again?” I swear, my first words to her are going to be, “You know, at some point we might as well just start carpooling to these things.”

And speaking on random meetings, pretty late into Robert Earl Keen’s set (great show, lots of fun, pick up the album What I Really Mean for the lead-off track alone) I decided to move away from the stage and as I do someone behind me grabs my arm as I go by. So my first thought is “What the hell” then I realize that a girl had grabbed me so I’m like “All right, she’s smart enough to not let a guy like me just walk away.” Then three seconds later I realize that it is Kristen, the girl who was dating the guy I ran into at the Old Crow Medicine Show. And before I could say, “You still dating that guy” there was Bill, joking how we keep on running into each other. Damn. Hey, at least they are happy together. Can’t fault anyone for finding happiness.

Pretty much it for the week. I think that I’ll be taking this weekend pretty easy. Can’t have too many weekends like my birthday weekend. I mean, it was a blast and there are a lot of things that happened that should happen much more often but I’ve discovered that my body does actually require sleep. Something that I’ll need to keep in mind in the future. Have a fun weekend everyone and go Irish.

A case of semantics

(Site update: I have enabled the word verification feature on the comments in order to hopefully fend off the invasion of spambots that have beseiged my blog over the past couple of days. Sure, it is a losing battle and the spambots will soon be our overlords and I for one welcome the change. Oh well... Super, I'm sorry to make you go through an extra step before posting your comments at two in the morning.)

I figure that I might as well chime in on the use of the word refugee when discussing the victims of the hurricane. Most of the debate has focused on whether or not it is a racist description. From my point of view, that is the wrong arguement. As a word, refugee does not have any implications as to race. But it does have great implications with regards to class and to distance.

First of all, the term refugee immediately refers to a third world issue. We do not talk about the Irish refugees during the potato famine, we call them immigrants. Those who fled communism were called defectors. Those fleeing horrible situations in the third world (whether in Africa, Asia or the Americas) are referred to as refugees. That is part of the reason why it was a poor word for the media to use to describe the situation: it immediately cast the victims as being equivalent to third world citizens.

But to me the biggest problem is that to the American ear, the word refugee means "a problem that is happening someplace else." We've never used the word refugee to discuss an American problem. Even in the dust bowl, when you had the Okies fleeing to California, the word refugee wasn't used, even though it was probably applicable. But we've heard the word used in describing places like the Sudan or Vietnam or the Balkans. That's why I didn't like the fact that the media used the term: it created this artificial distance in the minds of the American audience. It gave an impression that "don't worry, this is all happening far away" when in fact it was happening in the soul of the nation.

While I don't like the fact that the media used the term I do understand why they did. In cases like this you are trying to find a way to express the immense disaster in a very precise way. Evacuee doesn't possess the life or death struggle that took place those first few days. Victim is too imprecise (and a weak term at best). I'm not sure what the right word is. In cases like this, it takes a while for our vocabulary to catch up to what we witness.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Life or something like it

(In what is hopefully an improvement over last night’s post, I am actually awake right now. Let’s see if that causes any increase in quality.)

(Oh, and that comment definitely has to be spam. My blog is creative? Anyone who has ever read this thing can state with all of their being that if this blog is anything it is not creative. For crying out loud, I’ve spent pages discussing the merits of Voltron versus Transformers here. Now, if someone was to comment that the site was trite and derivative now that would be a good comment.)

Got some good news from New Orleans over the past few days. Found out that Jackie, one of my former bartenders in KC who had moved to New Orleans over the summer, was able to get out of town before the storm hit and is fine. Plus, I ran into a few other people I know who are from there and it looks like their families were able to evacuate in time. Also, my brother-in-law let me know of a website where they were listing all of the New Orleans musicians and their current status. Given all that has happened over the past week it was really nice to see the words “All of the Nevilles have been accounted for.” That said, I also found out that Allen Touissant (whose disc made the random list a month ago) was in the Superdome during the storm. That might give some perspective as to the number of people who were still in the city. If one of the best jazz pianists around wasn’t able to evacuate, a lot of people were still there when the storm hit.

I’ve got another story from this weekend that I can place in the “My life is a continual adventure” category. As always, it involves something that everyone else does without issue. In this case, it was getting a haircut. See, last week I realized that my hair had devolved into this unmanageable mop and unless I decided to wear a hat twenty four hours a day it was only to get worse. So, time to call up my local hair salon.

Which I discover has gone out of business. That’s a slight problem but not much of a surprise since their business had fallen off a cliff over the past year. I at least had the card of one of my old stylists so I gave her a call on Friday and left her a message. Of course, I never heard back from her.

So it’s now Saturday morning and I realize that if I don’t address this problem today I will basically be showing up for work on Tuesday with a mullet, which would be cool in an ironic retro sense but it’s a look that just doesn’t fit with my high flying young executive lifestyle. As a last ditch effort I call the salon where my old stylist is working and set up an appointment with whoever has time, which was Thomas.

Get there and figure out that I have an hour wait before it will be my turn. Now, a lot of people would be complaining here but I viewed this as a positive. That meant that a) this guy has a lot of clients and b) he is actually taking his time and doing a good job. After reading the latest issues of Spin and GQ, I get in the chair and his first words were “Ok man, you have way too much hair. Here is what we are going to do…”

He then laid out about a ten point action plan involving style and product and stopped just short of discussing meditation techniques that would reduce the amount of gray in my hair. Seriously, this guy put more thought and detail into what to do with my hair than I’ve seen people put into million dollar businesses. I of course was all for this and basically told him to just go all out and see what he could do. And man, did he do a good job. First person in two years to actually get the length in the back right. Have to say that I went out on Saturday night feeling that I was looking pretty sharp.

This is basically the way my life works. A whole bunch of accidents happen but everything works out fine in the end. A little normalcy might be nice every once in a while butyou’ve got to admit, it does keep things interesting.

Monday, September 05, 2005

Taking the day off

Well, in honor of it being Labor Day I spent the entire day lying on my couch, watching television, playing Playstation and reading Neil Gaiman’s 1602. Sure, I could have gone out and protested for workers’ rights or professed my desire for the downfall of the proletariat but that would have taken effort. Just taking a day off from the world is a very good thing for me right now.

That said, I already have good news for next weekend. The Notre Dame-Michigan game is going to be a nationwide game so I’ll definitely be able to watch it at home. As opposed to this Saturday’s game, which required me searching through several bars to find one that had the game on. See, the network had the choice of showing ND-Pitt or Texas A&M-Clemson and they chose A&M-Clemson. Because everyone knows that those two schools have a huge nationwide following that would get great ratings in KC. And it’s nice to know that even sports bars in this town don’t have satellites. Just one of those things that makes you go, “What in the world?”

It’s weird, not being in the office today has goofed up my entire schedule. We’re all creatures of habit at some level and not making that drive is going to leave me out of sorts this week. Plus, I know that my sleep schedule is going to be off all week since I’ve stayed up late for three nights (having fun but I don’t think that I can sleep until ten tomorrow). I’m hoping that work will be a little easier this week, or at least that I won’t be spending twelve hour days in the office once again. I like being busy, but not that busy.

Obviously, since I didn’t do much of note today I don’t have much to write about. But I’ve got one last note to discuss before I call it a night. My random CDs for the week are going to be an interesting bunch. I mean, two Freakwater CDs? That’s more faux Appalachian music than most people would listen to in a lifetime. The Nirvana CD is upbeat compared to those two. This is what happens when you trust a random number generator.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Until We Say Goodbye

Yes, the rumors are correct today is my birthday. The Christian Laettner memorial birthday to be exact (which followed the Shane Battier memorial birthday but precedes the Grant Hill memorial birthday). I’ve got to thank everyone who has called, email or gone out and celebrated with me the past few nights. I really ended this past year on a high note and want to keep all this positive momentum going. I just have this feeling that I have a lot of good things going on in my life right now and I want to take advantage of them while I can. But thanks everyone.

(Oh, and I can’t believe I forgot to write this on Thursday but congratulations Renee. Hope Saturday was a perfect day for you.)

Ok, I’ve promised this next part for several weeks now and I feel that today would be a great day to post it. Because the only way I can accomplish anything is by setting a schedule and a set deadline so I am going to make this promise in front of the entire interweb: I will finish my novel by my next birthday. This story has been called “My Life as a Sitcom” for about a year and a half worth of outlines but I’m going to change the tentative title to “Until We Say Goodbye”. Here’s the prologue, which was first written about eighteen months ago when I was in a very bad mood. It might not be good from a mental health perspective but it makes writing a lot easier. Enjoy.

“Until We Say Goodbye”

Prologue: I Always Wanted to be an Astronaut

I never intended for my life to end up this way.

When you’re a kid and someone asks you what you want to be you always answer something glamorous like football player or doctor. Cubicle drone never enters your mind.

And I don’t care how your life is in your early twenties, no matter how much you enjoy the single life and can’t even imagine settling down with the wife and the dog out in the suburbs you are lying if you don’t envision yourself getting married at some point in the future.

You certainly don’t expect to find yourself spending New Year’s Eve 30 and alone, staring at the four bare walls of your apartment. Not even bothering to go out because it will just be couples and it is too dehumanizing to be in a room where everyone is happy except you.

That’s it in a nutshell. My life in twelve lines. No one to love, a job that diminishes my soul, and a horrible feeling that every day will be more like the last for the rest of my life. It doesn’t matter how many degrees you have or the fact that you’re a nice guy or even that people like you. It’s this belief that life has past you by when there is an entire lifetime ahead of you. And it’s not a fun feeling.

But sometimes things change. Life can take you for an adventure. The world can show you things that you never imagined.

Like I said, I never intended for my life to end up this way. But it makes for an interesting story.




The five random CDs for the week
1) Freakwater “Feels Like the Third Time”
2) Freakwater “End Time”
3) Nirvana “MTV Unplugged in New York”
4) Iris Dement “The Way I Should”
5) Victoria Williams “Musings of a Creek Dipper”

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Analyzing my fantasy

In a much needed break from the dire situations down south (go to www.redcross.org if you haven’t already) I had my fantasy football draft tonight. And while I do feel that writing about something this trivial at a time like this seems foolish if there is anything I need right now it is to address the trivial. With that, here is the draft of Cobra Kai (picking fourth in a twelve team league)

#1: Peyton Manning, QB, Ind.
#2: Marvin Harrison, WR, Ind.
#3: LaMont Jordan, RB, Oak.
#4: Roy Williams, WR, Det.
#5: DeShaun Foster, RB, Car.
#6: Deion Branch, WR, NE
#7: Thomas Jones, RB, Chi.
#8: Brandon Stokley, WR, Ind.
#9: Amani Toomer, WR, NYG
#10: Steelers Defense
#11: Duce Staley, RB, Pit.
#12: David Carr, QB, Hou.
#13: Josh Brown, K, Sea.

Draft Analysis: When LT, Alexander and Priest went as the top 3 I knew that I was going to have to take Peyton. I mean, could you justify taking Willis McGahee over him? Edge James? But, I also knew that meant I was going to have crap running backs so I planned to draft opposite of what most people would in getting two running backs early. When Harrison was there in the second round I took him to have that QB-WR combo, even if it means that I should wear a Colts jersey this year.

LaMont Jordan in the third round is a steal in my book. I stretched for Roy Williams (especially since my hope was to pick up Warrick Dunn on the way back but missed out on him and ended up with DeShaun Foster). Deion Branch returns from last year’s squad and hopefully won’t be out with a knee injury for two months this time around. I really wanted to get Thomas Jones and feel that my Jordan/Foster/Jones running back by committee should work out. I have no idea how Brandon Stokley was out there in the eighth round. Seriously, Keyshawn Johnson went ahead of him. He’s either going to become a starter or great trade bait. I didn’t want Amani Toomer but David Givens (the last Domer worth drafting) went one spot ahead of me.

Happy to pick up the Steelers D, which should make up my disastrous defense situation last year. But, they’ve got a bye in week 4 and we can only keep 13 players on the roster so I might be juggling early. Duce Staley is a risk since he’s hurt but if he comes back this year I’ll have picked up a good back and solved my running back worries. David Carr was the best quarterback available (and certainly the quarterback with the best hair) and Josh Brown is a perfectly adequate kicker.