Kids today have it so good

I’m not entirely sure why I am posting this other than it is awesome on more levels than I can count. If there is anything that would make me want to be a kid today, Feist appearing on Sesame Street would top the list.

(But how did they miss having the Count making an appearance? Isn’t that the most obvious connection?)

(And before anyone asks, yes I did watch the end of Monday Night Raw tonight. Every few years pro wrestling decides to run an attempted murder angle. You know, one where someone rams a car into another human being, on camera, without a) any of the camera people trying to stop it, b) any of the other people in the arena trying to stop it or c) anyone getting arrested for what is clearly a felony offense. Sigh. Given the amount of actual murders and death involved in our great sport you would think that they would try to avoid the fake ones.)

Kind of a bit at a loss for a topic tonight. Right now I am writing in an attempt that my apartment will magically clean itself while I’m not looking. This is another one of those strange travel issues that I have never quite understood. One of my big things before I leave on any trip is cleaning my apartment. This is very important to me. All of the dishes are done, the garbage is taken out and everything is in order.

Of course, when I come back from a trip I am so tired I just throw all of my stuff wherever there is space. And since there is nothing in the sink I realize that I can take a day or two off from doing dishes. Add in the fact that Saturday night went a little late this week my apartment has a few days worth of stuff that just needs to be addressed. Except I really don’t want to deal with it. There is nothing fun about doing dishes or paying bills. Sure, I have to get all of this done but I wish I could do it in a way that wasn’t so time consuming.

Otherwise today was just another day of job searching and interviewing. Monday is a big posting day so I scour the internet for jobs that either interest me or sound funny enough that I feel like sending them my resume. I think I applied to one job just because I liked the company’s name. I don’t know what they do but they sure sounded cool. It’s probably not the best way to find a job but it works for me.

Hopefully I am nearing the point where the interviews will begin to lead to offers and then I can get back into my usual routine. I miss having a job at times. True, staying up late and sleeping in has been a lot of fun but I am getting to the point where I just need to do something. Plus I don’t know how much longer I can stay in this state of limbo. I don’t know where I’ll be living a few months from now and that is beginning to wear on me. Answers should soon be forthcoming. What they will be I don’t have the faintest idea.

My day in painstaking detail

For those who are interested in my job search prospects (mainly people who are related to me, are trying to find me a job, or are wishing that I would find employment just so I would stop bugging them during the afternoon) I’ve made some good progress this week. After my barrage of resumes over the past week and a half I have started to pick up some interviews and have also had the wonderful feeling of having companies reach out to me instead of the other way around. Still have no idea what is going to happen, where I may end up (both in terms of location and organization), or when all this will go down. But, at least I feel as though I have things moving in the right direction.

I’m still of two minds as to whether I will tell any potential employers about the blog. On one hand it is a great example of parts of my personality that do not appear on my resume. The creativity, the writing skill, and my dedication are all shown through the four years I’ve had this site up and running. On the other hand, the continued discussion of Star Wars and Lindsey Lohan along with all of my life stories are possibly not the best things to make companies aware of on day one. Oh well, I guess I’ll burn that bridge once I come to it.

(Oh, and my interview suit still fits. Which is pretty lucky for me given that I probably would be hard pressed to pick up a suit that fit in just two days. I could, and I know a tailor who owes me a favor, but I wouldn’t want to risk it. Now I just have to find out where in my apartment I hid all of my ties.)

Strangest thing I’ve had to put on an application: where I went to high school. I’m really confident that that fact isn’t relevant any more. True, my personality has been formed by my high school experience (as I assume everyone’s is) but how should that factor into my ability to get hired? Just seems completely bizarre.

As you can probably see, it is rather tough for me to think up topics now that I’m not working full time. I wish I had a better story for today but here is my daily schedule. Woke up (alarm went off at 9, got out of bed at 10), shower and shaved. Yes, I still shave every day even if I might not have anywhere to go. After downing a bagel I putzed around online for a bit until I decided to leave my apartment for a bit. Hit the record store and picked up the new Alejandro Escovedo and My Morning Jacket discs. Then I picked up some coffee trying to avoid the glares of the baristas who are incredibly pissed at my always ordering decaf even though I always tip.

Went back home, sat down at the laptop, and started scanning the job boards for new postings. Dropped off about seven resumes, including a few for jobs that I’m not entirely sure what they were but at least sounded cool, and then had some lunch (soup and a sandwich). Sent off a handful of emails to friends and took some calls from recruiters. Feeling sufficiently bored I decided to workout, putting in 3.6 miles on the treadmill while listening to “Challengers” by The New Pornographers.

Finished the workout, discovered that I now weigh 193 pounds (only 3 pounds away from no longer being overweight), and took a shower. Called back another recruiter who called while I worked out and then made dinner (chicken breast via George Foreman grill and a baked (ok, microwaved) potato). After some decision making I decided to take my laptop and some paperwork to a coffee shop to spend the evening drinking more coffee, listening to The Polyphonic Spree, and filling out applications. Then I went back home, ripped a few CDs and surfed some pro wrestling websites. I’m now writing the blog and once completed will watch my tape of Hell’s Kitchen.

So if you ever wondered what you do when you are unemployed there you go. At least last night I had dinner at a bar. Today I don’t think I talked to someone who I wasn’t either paying or trying to get to pay me. I’ll try to correct that in the future. Still, better than a day in a cube.

I could be the fifth dentist!

(Note on last night’s comment. Yes, asking on how many sentences are in the last chapter of Ulysses is trivial. Hence it being used in a trivia contest. But the last chapter is, in my mind, the most important chapter in all of English literature and in my copy is 45 pages long. If you read a 45 page chapter that only had 8 sentences you would remember it.)

I received possibly the strangest job search related email ever this morning. Due to my healthcare background I was offered a position as an Associate Dentist. Let’s go through this one in detail, shall we? First off, outside of being well acquainted with emergency rooms due to my surprising skill at injuring myself in new and imaginative ways I have no healthcare background. I have one degree in electrical engineering and another in finance. I’ve never worked for a company that has had anything to do with healthcare. Unless nuclear power is somehow now good for your health but I somehow doubt that.

Now even if you were confused by my background wouldn’t you think that to be offered a job as a dentist you would have had to do something, well, dental related at some point in your life. Seriously, let’s say you were a nurse you couldn’t immediately switch to being a dentist. I assume you’d have to take a class or something. If bartenders need to have a license I assume dentists would have to, I don’t know, show an aptitude at enjoying other people’s pain. I just don’t see random emails as the best way to recruit dentists.

Oh, and what was the salary offer? Up to $250K. I kid you not. I apparently really chose the wrong profession. I should apply just to see what happens. I would just look at everyone’s mouth, say “Oh yeah, everything is fine” and then collect the checks until someone figured out what was going on.

It’s strange spending time on job boards and just blindly sending resumes out into the ether. I know it isn’t the proper way to do it but for the moment it is how I want to get started. Find some postings, drop off my info, and see if I get any bites. It’s a bit nerve wracking and humbling because let’s be honest, it’s not as if I’m not qualified to work for a living. I’ve collected a number of pieces of paper that state very plainly that I am intelligent. But that doesn’t mean I get an interview, or a look, or that my resume doesn’t just disappear into some HR wasteland.

Yes, I am networking and I need to do more of it. I do have a few irons in the fire, which is nice. It’s just that I’m still trying to figure out who I am and what I want to do next. And the thing is, what I do for a living isn’t really the most important thing to me anymore. Yes, I want a nice job where I make good money and, in a perfect world, provides me with a cube with a window. But more than anything I just want to be happy. It’s been one hell of a struggle to actually be that and now that I am I really don’t want to give it up. Somehow on all of the postings no one has ever written “This job will bring you fulfillment.” It would be really nice if they did.

Country of Origin?

So I had a class on interviewing techniques today. It was one of the most useful classes that I have taken since I started actually trying to find gainful employment. Not that the other ones were bad, it is just that I don’t really need to go through a self-assessment (as others have noted, I might be the most self-aware person on the planet) or a resume class (because I have made a living out of having pieces of paper that say that I am smart). But going through the ins and outs of the interview process (as well as how to negotiate) is always useful.

Now I am very familiar with the behavioral style of interviews otherwise known as the “tell me about a time when” interview. Basically as long as you can think on your feet and tell a story you can make it through those. I’ve even dealt with psychological screening questions before, which are always a joy to go through. Apparently employers feel that they need to question my sanity along with my talent set. But something I’ve been thinking about this week is changing the tone of the entire interview process. Instead of reacting to questions why not take a more proactive, even aggressive approach? Such as the following…

“You consider that to be a valid question? Seriously, is that what they teach you to ask in order to find the most qualified candidate? You might as well just throw all the resumes up in the air and grab one at random.”

Or

“What do you mean you are not going to hire me? Have you lost your mind? I mean, it is possible that you ate lead paint chips as a child but otherwise I can’t think of one valid reason why this company shouldn’t hire me. Hell, they should hire me just so they could fire you. I could fill both roles without breaking a sweat.”

Who knows, it might work.

The other big thing is that it is National Spelling Bee week! I of course have already assembled my fantasy team (The Onomatopoeia Britannica) for the event. Hey, if ESPN is going to broadcast it I am going to wager money and develop a fantasy team for it. My rules are pretty straightforward. Look for kids who did good, but not too good, in the geography bee. The kids who win that tend to peak too soon and are coming off such a rush that they don’t have their game faces on. Also, always lean towards the home schooled kids. They tend to be more socially backwards and inclined to spend their time reading a dictionary as opposed to playing organized sports or being outdoors.

For those who wonder, I actually never competed in one of these spelling bees. I wouldn’t have been very good though I was a pretty good speller in my day. I can memorize like mad so I might have had a shot but was never into it. I did however win a rather large history quiz contest in grade school, which resulted in my meeting my congressman a few times. It was essentially one large history trivia contest and I smoked the field at that. Yep, even as a kid I was a trivia maven. And of course, I competed in more math contests than I could possibly imagine even making state my senior year. Yes, that is how it is phrased. I’m not sure if I should be proud of that fact. I was the coolest guy there so at least I had that going for me.

A welcome break...

So the lamp in my office had a significant light bulb failure this week. Those things happen of course. I went to my cabinet and found out that the stash of light bulbs that I have had since I moved into this place had finally run out. A quick trip to the store later (because otherwise I would be writing by the glow of the laptop screen and that grows tiring very quickly) and I came back with one of those energy efficient fluorescent bulbs. Now I had never bought one before but I thought that I should be nice to the environment and pick one up.

As a result, I now feel as if I am sitting in some corner of an airport under really bad lighting. Seriously, it just looks totally wrong. I know that I am saving energy and carbon emissions but can’t I just have a light bulb that lights up like a light bulb. I know that I will get used to it but it’s tough to adjust to a new form of light when you are in your mid-30’s.

Switching gears, as I also took a networking class yesterday I will state officially that if anyone knows of a job where I might possibly be qualified please let me know. I will treat you to the Outback Steakhouse gift card that is currently sitting somewhere in my apartment. I’m starting to get serious about the whole job search process and would like to find something in the next month or two. I’ve got some feelers out there already but I’ll take any advice that I can find. At some point I’ll need to start getting paid again.

I know it probably seems odd that I haven’t been serious about it up to now. If you know me then you know that work and my career seem to be the driving force in everything I do. I think I just got tired of that and wanted to spend some time where that was not my biggest concern. To just shut down and sleep in and return to the person that I want to be. Sitting in a cube for hours a day is not exactly a natural environment and though I enjoyed my times it also became quite a drag. This has been my first chance in ages to just stop everything and get back to being me.

The results have been astounding. A lot of the issues that have been plaguing me for years and have just gnawed at me have gone away. I just feel like I am back to being me again. There wasn’t some magic button that got pushed; I think I just finally caught my breath. Took a few moments to look around and see the beauty that was around me. Take the time to actually talk with my friends instead of just run by them as I race from one moment to the next. All of those things we wish we could do I have had the time to enjoy.

I’ll be back working soon enough. Yes, I’ll probably complain about whatever company I find myself in. But I hope that this part of myself will remain. I’ve actually relaxed. People who have known me for a while understand how insane a statement that is. I’m always stressed; it is my primary emotion. That is a tiring way to live and from now on I just want to be a bit more zen with the world. I think that might be the way to go.

Branding yourself...

Note to whoever actually does read this blog: I apologize for the lack of posts and original material the past few days. Some people know why, others can ask if they know me well enough. Let’s just say that real life took much greater precedence over my writing. I’m fine (this isn’t one of those instances where I stopped posting because doctors were poking me with various instruments) but there are several people I am keeping in my thoughts and prayers right now. I’ll leave it at that.

But after spending a couple of days in a deep think I’ve decided to do what I do best. I focus on what is important, I get my work done and I put on the floppy shoes and clown nose. Keeping busy helps me get back into my routine and I get back to telling jokes and sharing stories. It’s what I do well and as clichéd as it sounds I actually believe that laughter is the best medicine. Maybe it isn’t the best coping mechanism but it works for me. Here we go…


So as part of my ongoing effort to find a job, which so far has avoided such steps as “applying for a job”, “finding a headhunter” or “stand on a street corner with a sign ‘Will run complex statistical regressions for beer’”, I took a self-marketing class today. This is a little odd given the fact that I had spent two years working in the marketing department. You would think I would have picked up some skills during that time. Admittedly I’m out of work due to lack of business but still at least I know what not to do.

I started to think of good marketing tactics to apply in order to make me the most desirable candidate if not in the country then at least in the tri-state region. (That would be Kansas, Missouri and, uh, North Dakota maybe?) My first step is going to be a cryptic billboard campaign. All along the highway you’ll start seeing signs with “Your future is right around the corner 08/08/08” written on them. I’ll follow that up with my guerilla marketing efforts. I’ll send taggers into all of the major cities with instructions to paint “The solution is at hand”, “Knowledge is the key” and “The sums of the ifs shall be the answer to your needs” all with the 08/08/08 tag line.

Then we will start the viral internet campaign. YouTube postings will appear of people talking about how they have found clarity out of randomness, numbers falling from the sky and of the world regressing to the mean. One post will simply consist of people repeating “Eight, eight, oh eight” in various places around the world. Links to a website will slowly appear (I’ll keep the domain mysterious for now). There even more clues will be revealed as a story about a hidden genius will be told. Sparks of electricity will shoot across the background of the page. At random moments the page will just devolve into a sea of numbers that float off into all directions until coalescing into the single image of “08/08/08”.

Soon the entire world will be abuzz over just what will happen that date. News crews will be at every corner, unsure of where the unveiling of this answer will appear. People will take off from work, the entire world economy will wait with baited breath until 8:08:08 GMT on 8/8/08 when billboards will be uncovered, television stations across the world will all show the same image, and a mass of people gathered in Times Square will look up and see…

Me in a suit with two thumbs up talking about my skill in Excel and quantitative analysis. Resumes will fall into the crowd like confetti. Television screens will show me in action. “Here’s EC writing an If/Then statement. Here he is doing a Powerpoint presentation. Oh look, here he is filling up a coffee pot for people even when he doesn’t drink coffee.” A mass email will be sent across the globe asking “If you have any contacts who might help me find a job please let me know. Any contact that leads to employment will be repaid with a $25 gift card to Outback Steakhouse. No rules, just right.”

Sure, I’d be in debt up to my eyeballs but I’m pretty sure somebody would hire me. It would be a hell of a lot more fun than posting to Monster.

Wednesday Night Music Club: Not sure if I’ve ever posted any Freedy Johnston before. He is easily one of my favorites, though no one seems to remember him anymore. I just like his style.

Know Thyself Via Standardized Tests

I had my official self assessment review today. This differs from my assessment of Bill Self (a traitor who shall never be allowed to set foot in the state of Illinois again) but is roughly as accurate. Since these are always so much fun to take I figured that I might as well share with the world just what all of these tests say about me.

(For those wondering, yes I am an INTJ on the Meyers Brigg. Was there any doubt?)

So, here is what I reviewed this morning.

My Interests: “Scheduling, Doing detailed work, Keeping close contact, Working with numbers, Working with Systems”. Guess I can’t argue with that. Numbers, systems and detailed work are pretty much in my wheelhouse. I like working with them except that dealing exclusively with them bores me pretty completely. How they have scheduling on the list is beyond me. I don’t believe there is anything more tedious than maintaining Microsoft Project files. I’d rather, you know, do the work.

My Work Style: “Insightful, Selectively Sociable, Thoughtful, Reflective, Optimistic”: Wow, optimistic? Really? Apparently they didn’t grade “bitter to the core” as an attribute. Insightful and thoughtful are right on. Selectively sociable is actually a really nice description of how I act in a workplace environment. Not everyone is my friend. And I guess reflective is based on my tendency to wear shiny metallic vests to work.

My Needs: “Encourage competition, Be Assertive, Allow Flexibility, Introduce Novelty and Variety”: I’m a bit concerned on this one because half of these are dead on and half I don’t get at all. Flexibility has become a key to me as I’ve grown more and more tired with bureaucracy as I’ve found myself mired in it. Variety has been the cornerstone of my career as I just always want to try something different and keep on learning. But encourage competition? That seems to imply a level of cut-throat that I’m not comfortable with. And maybe they equate a want for having people to tell the truth with being assertive. Who knows.

My Stress Behaviors: “Easily distracted, Distrust others, Become domineering, Fail to follow the plan”. On the plus side, at least it doesn’t say ‘under times of high stress, brings flamethrower to office’ or ‘refers to upper management as being unable to find their own ass with both hands, a map and a team of bloody sherpas.’ I guess that is a good thing. Do I really become domineering? That doesn’t seem to be in my nature. The getting off plan at least makes sense. When stressed I tend to do what I think is right, no matter what anyone else is telling me to do. Not always the best thing politically.

My Top 4 Areas of Interest: “Numerical, Scientific, Literary, Musical” Can’t really argue there. I like the fact that this shows the dichotomy (or schizophrenia) of my nature. Part of me is this highly mathematic, detailed oriented robot who likes nothing more than sitting down with numbers and writing if-then statements until the numbers dance their way into a deeper meaning. The other part of me is this creative guy who would like nothing better to sit in a coffee shop all day writing bad poetry and discussing how Feist completely sold her soul to Apple. It’s a pretty bizarre mix but I like it.

Finally, here is the big one. What should I be when I grow up? What are my optimal careers?

My Top 5 Job Titles: “Administrative Professionals, Accounting, Numerical Administrative, Banking and Finance, General Administrative” So after peering into my soul I’ve been told that I should be either an auditor or an accountant. Sigh. It’s not exactly the most exciting of professions. I was kind of hoping that “lion tamer” would make the cut. I mean, yes I’ve been doing finance in one form or another for the past five years and been working with numbers my entire life but I would think that I would have a few more options out there. This doesn’t surprise me but I would think that there would be a bit more flexibility.

Oh and yes I am apparently better suited to being a secretary than an engineer. Double sigh. I have a feeling that I will be getting a call from Illinois regarding my diploma. Seriously, I’ll never claim to being the best EE but I did a dang good job at it. Was promoted like mad in my old company. I’d suck as a secretary. I’d just let all calls go to voice mail and spend my day pilfering office supplies. Though at least I’d be the only one on the floor who could fix the printer.

Apparently I didn't need to learn Maxwell's Equations

Per the comments, I also am concerned about my growing Milwaukee based fans. Now, I’m confident that one of those comments came from Super Dave, my long time partner in crime and the inspiration for the character of Josh in my novel. (At the present moment Josh’s main characteristic is using the word “dude” in every sentence, which actually isn’t a Super Dave trademark but it seems to work.) However, Super Dave is the only person I know in Milwaukee so whoever made the other comment: welcome. Hope you stay a while.

(Ok, just a random comment here but Mike Huckabee still received 10% of the vote in the Indiana primary. True, he stopped campaigning and it doesn’t matter but that is still more than what Ron Paul got. So please, for those of you who still have Ron Paul bumper stickers on your car, can you just remove them already. It’s over. Let’s move forward.)

I’m kind of searching for a topic here so I just flipped over to Wikipedia to find out that HP has created the fourth type of passive electrical components. Now everyone knows the three main types: resistors (measured in Ohms), inductors (measured in Henrys) and capacitors (measured in Farads after one of my heroes, the legendary Michael Faraday). We now have the memristor, which…which…ok, I don’t have the faintest clue what a memristor is. I have a degree in electrical engineering and have read this article twice and yet I am still lost. True, I have been drinking tonight but I feel more confident that Wikipedia is just now making stuff up. Either that or I should not apply for engineering jobs any time soon.

Speaking of that, as part of this career coaching experience I have signed up for I was given a self-assessment to determine what jobs I am most suited for. I’ve done a ton of these in the past and they all turn out the same way. I should work on something numerical and analytical with the phrase “you should really be an accountant” appearing somewhere in the official paperwork. Except for the fact that I find that work boring and tedious. Incredibly easy since in accounting you know at the end of the day your debits will equal your credits so as long as you know how to add and subtract you can be an accountant but still, not the most satisfying job in the world. I am also always told that I should avoid physical labor and the outdoors just in case I suddenly start dreaming of becoming a lumberjack.

(Of course being a lumberjack is perfectly ok. You sleep all night and you work all day.)

What’s interesting is that I actually scored low on whether I should be an engineer. Typically I am off the charts on that metric. I mean, I’ve been an engineer. I’m trained in that field and despite the fact that I switched careers I still don’t feel as if I have ever left. I dug into the results some more and I found out that I shouldn’t be an engineer because I do not take projects one step at a time making sure that each step is properly completed before starting the next one.

Whoever made this test has no idea what life is like as an engineer. If I did everything step by step I would have been fired by week two. Being an engineer means being able to think on your feet, change direction on a dime and know how to multi-task and combine steps at a moment’s notice. You simply don’t have the luxury of being meticulous; you just have to get the work done. I still don’t know if I would consider myself a good electrical engineer (I’m admittedly weak on theory and intuition surrounding electricity) but I was a damn good power systems engineer. I could tell you how power flows through a grid better than almost anyone. You don’t do that by being meticulous. You do that by being so well versed in a complex and abstract subject. I shouldn’t be an engineer? That might be true (because I think I want more out of life) but trust me, I have all the skills required to be one.

Will spreadsheet for food

Well, I knew that at some point I was going to have to break down and do this. Having spent a month on the dole, doing nothing except enjoying myself, I knew that at some point I was going to have to get serious about finding a job. Haphazardly surfing CareerBuilder and Monster just was not going to cut it. So, tomorrow I meet with my career management team.

In the old days my career management team would be a bunch of buddies that I would meet at a bar. I’d see them, we’d joke about our prospects and then get so horribly drunk we knew that we could count on each other for references solely because of the amount of blackmail material that we had on one another. It was informal and met at an acceptable hour. This meeting is at nine in the morning tomorrow and requires business casual attire.

My first problem with this is the hour. I originally signed up for a meeting in the afternoon. That seemed perfectly sensible. I’m unemployed after all and that means that I no longer have to set the alarm clock. Typically I wake up some time in the middle of the morning, stumble around and find a pair of pants at just the moment where lunch starts sounding like a good idea. I originally assumed that I was going to be very structured during my unemployment. That given all of my years of work that the prospect of sleeping in would grow tiring very quickly. That just hasn’t been the case.

So now I’m going to have to set three alarm clocks just to make sure that I get up in enough time to look like a human being when I make it to this meeting. It is a decent drive, which isn’t entirely a bad thing but it is just more work than I am used to. Plus, I know that I should try to be presentable and that has been a problem on Monday mornings my entire life. Who wants to be anywhere on a Monday morning besides their own bed?

The other thing is that they have specifically stated that I need to wear business casual attire. Now this isn’t that big of a deal for me because it is not as if I don’t have a thousand dress shirts hanging in my closet waiting to be worn. I have so many years of experience wearing dress clothes that I can tie a tie one handed while driving if need be. I’m a little more perplexed as to why I need to dress up for a meeting. I’m not going to be interviewing. They didn’t tell me to bring my resume. I’m just going to be sitting in a conference room for a few hours. Can’t see why I just can’t show up in jeans and a KMFDM t-shirt like I do to everything else in life.

I guess what really bothers me with this meeting is that tomorrow I am going to have to get up and act as though I am going to work. I’ve spent the past five weeks not working and it has been wonderful. I haven’t felt this good in ages. It’s not as if I haven’t accomplished anything. True, I haven’t made as much progress on my writing as I would like but I am moving forward with it. I’ve taken care of myself this past month and that has been brilliant. Now, while I know that getting a job is simply something that I must do, I really don’t want to go all out on the process. I still have months of severance pay left and a desire to live this life for as long as I can.

I’m going tomorrow because I know that it is the right thing to do. I’ll need a job eventually. I can’t spend the rest of my life hanging about coffee shops and sleeping in every morning. But I don’t really see the need to end this any sooner than I have to. I’m happy right now. Really, really happy right now. I just want it to last.

Best of 120 Minutes: I’ve been listening to The Pogues all weekend. Figured that is as good a way to start the week as any.