Monday, March 10, 2014

What is your Workout?


I was thinking after what I wrote last night about my fitness regimen and what I have done to get into shape. I know that this sounds totally bizarre coming from a two sport lettermen in high school whose two letters came in football (as the student trainer) and baseball (as the scorekeeper). While I’ve always loved sports I have never been athletic and was always the tall, gawky, skinny kid who could never get out of the way of his own limbs. As I got older that all stayed the same except I went from skinny to pudgier than I would like with no gain in athletic prowess. However I did try a number of different things to get into shape and after several years I have found myself in what is probably the best shape of my adult life. Here is what worked, what didn’t work and some things in between.

Treadmill: This was my default workout for years, including those years when I was woefully out of the shape. I consider it the basic workout for the person who lives in an apartment complex with a small exercise room and no clue what to actually do. I am lucky in the fact that I can do forty five minutes on a treadmill without losing my mind from boredom but I can’t say that this has been the best workout for me. That said, when I start up on the Couch to 5K routine in a month or two this will get more play.

Wii Fit / EA Active: When you are starting out trying to get in shape it is best to start small. Really small, like just playing video games as activity. I have to say that I primarily used my Wii for the fitness applications and while they weren’t the best way to get in shape these two programs definitely helped. Wii Fit was my first interaction with yoga and discovering just how horrible my balance is (which was finally explained by the fact that my legs are not the same length). I can’t say that it was the most challenging workout though I have fond memories of the boxing game (where your coach sounded just like Adam Corrola) and the step aerobics (in which I must have looked like the biggest idiot ever). EA Active was better in terms of overall fitness though it had two drawbacks. One was, like all video game workouts, it was highly dependent on the Wii picking up your movements and there is nothing worse than spending half your time trying to convince the game that yes, you did just do a squat. The other is more a personal quibble in that for lifting they utilize those power bands / cords that you see in every Target. I’ve never found a set of those that I like because they never seem to be made for my height and strength. I always going with either no resistance or insane resistance.

Personal Trainer: I think that I have used four different personal trainers over the years due to a combination of location and the fact that my trainers kept on quitting on me. You will find a lot of differing opinions out there about using a trainer and especially if it is worth the money and my view is that a good trainer is worth it, especially at the beginning, but that you should definitely reach the point where you no longer need one. When I started out with trainers I was really starting from scratch with no idea what exercises to do and worrying that my shoulder and hip injuries would make workouts impossible. With a trainer you have someone to lead you around the gym, learn how to use certain machines and have someone watching you to make sure that you are using the correct form. That is perfect when you are starting out but once you reach the point where you know your various routines you should be able to go on your own. Plus you always have to deal with the fact that a trainer can push you too hard or too little and both have their drawbacks. My view is use one to start if you can afford it but don’t worry if it does not turn into a lifelong partnership. You’re not a contestant on the Biggest Loser.

Gym Classes: There are people who swear by the classes at gyms and while I can’t really complain about the ones that I have gone to (they all were great workouts) they simply are not for me. First off, the fact that I have to drive to the gym uses up to much time for me to begin with so that makes having the classes fit my schedule is a massive challenge. Then there is the fact that when you start a new class you are typically dealing with a class where everyone else is a regular so you spend the first few sessions just trying to figure out what everyone is doing. This is even worse in yoga where the instructor will say “go into alligator. Ok, now go into crocodile” and you apparently should know the difference when the only difference that I can remember between the two is one has visible teeth and the other doesn’t. Finally, all of the classes that I have gone to have been predominately female. When I go with Kim this is ok as I am the supportive husband who works out with his wife. When I go alone I am the creepy guy in the back who can’t keep up. Just not my thing.

TRX: This is a bit of a subset of the last two as it was a Trainer / Class that got me using this. These are those suspension cables that you can use to perform a ton of body weight exercises. It is extremely good once you get the hang of it and all you need is a good doorframe in order to get started. Like a lot of things you can push yourself too hard though and wind up hurting yourself. I’m hoping to do more TRX in the coming year.

DDP Yoga: My current obsession and by far the best workout routine I’ve ever come across. One of New Year’s Resolutions is to finish the Advanced program and I am on week nine of thirteen (yes, I know that we are in week eleven of the new year. I fell slightly behind). To reach this point I’ve done 30+ workouts and if you have ever purchased fitness DVDs how many of them have you played thirty times? Especially after having used them for the previous eight months as well? I’ve never come across any fitness program that has held my interest like DDP Yoga.

Maybe it is the fact that it was made and hosted by a retired professional wrestler, which is just so random that it makes it exciting. Maybe it is because it combines regular body weight exercises with rehab exercises and yoga poses into something that gives you a good workout while improving your flexibility. It is common to go from a squat to a push up to downward dog in the course of two minutes. But the biggest complement that I can give this program is the fact that it is the first exercise program that I have ever seen that is made to start as a beginner and grow with you as you get better. If you look at so many others you seem to either need in insane shape to just get through the first workout or they are at the “miniature golf has great fitness benefits” level. With DDP Yoga there are so many options to modify a move that is too challenging for the time being and the workouts themselves range from twenty five minutes to an hour so as your cardio improves the length of workout increases with you.

(Oh, and they have real people doing the workouts. When you have a 60 year old and a 300+ pound guy completing the workouts you can’t really tell yourself that this is impossible.)


As with all workouts this probably isn’t for everyone. If you want to put on twenty pounds of muscle or run a marathon it wouldn’t be your primary option. But all I can say is that I look forward to working out and anything that can make that happen is a good thing. 

Sunday, March 09, 2014

A Short Stroll Spoiled...

Here is my latest example of either what it is like to live in South Florida or why I should just start writing “The Fall of the American Empire” now so that I can be the first person to get it published when the end eventually happens. Earlier today I was reading one of those local area magazines (the type that are not technically advertisements but are certainly not a hotbed for investigative journalism) and they had a four page article on miniature golf. Nothing wrong with that and it certainly led me to read the article though the fact that this article made the magazine cover should give you a sense of what this magazine was like.

No, what just blew my mind was the one paragraph that discussed, and I swear I am not making this up, “the long lasting health benefits of playing miniature golf.” Let’s just analyze this shall we? This article is postulating that playing miniature golf is a great form of exercise because you a) walk, b) vaguely swing your arms occasionally and c) have to bend over a few times. I’m not being cynical in that list: the author specifically called out those activities. We have apparently reached the point where we are so useless as a society that standing up and bending over occasionally is considered a challenging workout. To be honest I am surprised that no one has picked up on using golf carts on miniature golf courses or at least install a moving sidewalk.

I know that I shouldn’t be the one to talk about physical fitness but I am amazed at how things have changed over my lifetime. When we were at Disney World last year I was stunned by just how many people you would see riding electric scooters throughout the park. This wasn’t because they were elderly or incapable of walking; in fact, you could see nothing that would prevent them from walking. But there they were, lined up like their own little ride, and you would look and wonder if they were just too lazy to walk. That is something I cannot remember seeing growing up.

I do exercise regularly, nothing insane but some good effort several times a week. Over the past few years of doing this and changing my diet to the point that I eat actual food and drink less beer I’ve ended up losing about 35 pounds and am actually in the normal weight range for my height. Just being in the normal range places me above average in terms of healthy weight which is a completely paradoxical sentence to write. The main thing though is that you have to do something. You have to sweat. You have to get off the couch. Miniature golf will do the latter but I doubt that it will do the former. If it does the former you probably have a few other issues to worry about.

Best of 120 Minutes: Let’s get the week started with some Social Distortion


The five random CDs for the week:
1)      Josh Rouse “Nashville”
2)      Loreena McKennitt “To Drive the Cold Winter Away”
3)      Various Artists “Emerald Rock”
4)      Jon Dee Graham “Escape from Monster Island”

5)      R.E.M. “Eponymous”

Tuesday, March 04, 2014

The 100 books to read in a lifetime: Part Four (The end, honest)

Sorry for the delay in posts yet again. Sadly this is going to be the nature of my writing life for the foreseeable future. Writing falls behind marriage, work, travel, sleep and occasionally yoga on my list of priorities. I would love to be able to carve out fifteen minutes to a half hour a day, five days a week, where I could just focus on writing. That said, I would also like two hours a week to work on jigsaw puzzles and that isn’t going to happen either.

Ok, time to finish off this damn Amazon booklist. Less snarky comments this time for reasons that will become readily apparent.

The Looming Tower: Al-Qaeda and the Road to 9/11 by Lawrence Wright: I’ve heard good things about this book but haven’t come around to actually reading it yet.

The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkein: I know, I know. No one will ever belief that I never read any of the Lord of the Rings. Or sat through any of the movies. Look, if I didn’t like it when Led Zeppelin sang about hobbits I doubt that I would like it in literary form. I’ve tried but can never get past the first fifty pages. By the way, I found out today that Tolkein died the day before I was born so if you believe in relatively instant reincarnation that is a possibility.

The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat: Oliver Sacks: I’ve always wanted to read this book since at least high school and have no idea why I have never read it. I blame Robin Williams ruining Oliver Sacks for me in Awakenings.

The Omnivore’s Dilemma by Michael Pollan: I’ve read Pollan’s food writing just not this book. He does have the best diet advice ever: “Eat food, not too much, mostly plants.”

The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster: The number of childhood classics on this list that I have completely missed is pretty astounding. The Berwyn Public Library served me poorly. Well, other than the fact that they started to let me take out books from the adult section when I was nine. Science fiction was right at the top of the stairs with the collected works of L. Ron Hubbard front and center. I will remember that forever apparently.

The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingslover: Seen it in bookstores. Also remember seeing bookstores.

The Power Broker: Robert Moses and the Fall of New York by Robert Caro: Ok, Amazon, what the hell? Are you seriously telling me that for my life to be complete that I must read this book? I’ll take a pass.

The Right Stuff by Tom Wolfe: Finally one where I can say that I have at least seen the movie. I have spent so much time studying the history of the space race I guess I could never bring myself to read a fictionalized version of it.

The Road by Cormac McCarthy: What an amazing, haunting book. I brought it with me to read on a vacation one year. This is not recommended. Not only did I spend hours in my hotel room because I just had to finish the book but I was also forced to wander around in a daze thinking really, really dark thoughts.

The Secret History by Donna Tartt: Figured that since it was a secret that it would be impolite for me to read it.

The Shining by Stephen King: I’ve read surprisingly little Stephen King (The Stand and It being the exceptions based primarily on my having watched the ABC miniseries back in the day). I don’t know if I was scared by the size of the book or the nature of the material. I’ve never liked horror as a genre in books or movies. It was just never my style.

The Stranger by Albert Camus: “Mother died today. Or maybe yesterday; I can’t be sure.” One of the most amazing opening sentences ever.

The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway: One of the better Hemmingway novels and great in that rough and tumble masculine way that probably has a lot to do with the fact that Hemmingway wore dresses until he was two.

The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien: I have this collection of stories and have read the title story multiple times but I am embarrassed to say that I have not finished the book. However, the title story is without a doubt the best story about Vietnam from the soldier’s perspective that I have ever read or could even think about reading.

The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle: I’ve read Ulysses. I haven’t read The Very Hungry Caterpillar. According to Amazon this is a strike against me.

The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame: Look, if Disney World can get rid of Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride I feel that we can state as a society that we no longer have to read the book that the ride was based on.

The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami: I actually have this book, strangely enough, and got through about thirty pages before just becoming completely befuddled by it. Points for inspiring Mike Doughty’s best song outside of his Soul Coughing days, though.


The World According to Garp by John Irving: Same as the previous note but replace Mike Doughty song with Robin Williams movie.

The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion: Yeah, the lack of bold in this list of twenty five books is disturbing.

Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe: Of course things fall apart. The entropy of the universe is always increasing.

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee: Great book even if it has a lot less to do about hunting as the title implies.

Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand: I agree that this is, most likely, a book.

Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann: Personally I recommend Beyond the Valley of the Dolls: the absolutely bizarre movie written by Roger Ebert and that will cause you to freak out as only a really bad late 60’s / early 70’s movie could. I’ve seen it once and was like, “What the hell was that about.” Sigh. I miss Roger.

Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein: I’ve never liked Shel Silverstein. I’ve had so many people talk to me about how wonderful the story of The Giving Tree is and all I can say in return is “the kid was a total asshole to that tree.”

Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak: Yeah, my childhood reading list was apparently lacking.

So, all told I have read 27 of the 100 books that Amazon states that I should read in my lifetime. Any claims that I make from here on forth about being well read can be dismissed in their entirety.

The five random CDs for the week:
1)      The Subdudes “Primitive Streak”
2)      Kathleen Edwards “Back to Me”
3)      Midnight Oil “Blue Sky Mining”
4)      Kelly Willis “Reason to Believe”

5)      Josh Ritter “Live at the 9:30 Club”