Ok, I saw a discussion of this on Deadspin today and I figured that I would have to add in my thoughts. The question was if you were going to design your ultimate football team using superheroes who would you use. To make things a little more interesting I will not allow anyone to play both ways.
Offense:
QB: Superman. Pretty basic there. Strong arm, mobile in the pocket, can take a hit and has definite leadership skills.
RB: Flash. Probably will not be my best option for runs up the middle but if I can get him to the outside I don't think anyone is going to catch him. If Flash is not available I will settle for Walter Payton.
FB: The Thing. Has good mobility for a big man and should be great for pass protection. Also should be able to bear down for those short yardage situations.
WR: Spider Man: Fast, agile, great hands and really scrappy. He's the superhero version of Wes Welker.
WR: Nightcrawler: Also seems to appear in the open when needed.
TE: Iron Man: Can block or get into the open field. Very gritty with strong field awareness. May complain due to lack of quality playing time.
Center: Beast. He may not be the biggest or the strongest available but as a doctor he should be smart enough to call out adjustments from the line. That just doesn't seem like it would be one of the Hulk's strengths.
Left Tackle: Thor. I need someone reliable to protect Superman's blind side. Easily fooled though so we may need to keep Thing back for additional blocking support.
Right Tackle: Hercules. I like my offensive lines bookended by gods. Though why gods ended up in comic books is beyond me.
Left Guard: Steel: I think Shaq played him in a movie or something. Maybe it was Cyborg
Right Guard: Cyborg. Or whoever it is in Teen Titans, I was never really a DC comics guy.
Defense: (I'm going to use a 4 - 3) for a reason that will become apparent.
Defensive Tackles: Hulk and Wolverine. That should take care of any plays up the middle though I worry that Hulk is going to be susceptible to being drawn offside due to a hard snap count.
Defensive Ends: Captain Marvel (DC Comics version) and Colossus. One should give me more of a speed rush while the other adds some additional bulk.
Middle Linebacker: Captain America. My defensive leader. I just see him being Brian Urlacher back there, calling out the defensives and always making the tackle.
Strong Side Linebacker: Batman. Hits hard, makes the tough decisions and is willing to play through pain.
Weak Side Linebacker: Robin. We'll have to hope that most plays are run to the strong side.
Cornerback: Mister Fantastic. Slightly more arrogant than Deion Sanders, slow as hell, but always seems to be able to get a hand in to break up the pass.
Cornerback: Green Lantern. Will be benched if we play a team whose uniform features the color yellow. That is still the most inane weakness I have ever seen in a superhero.
Strong Safety: Daredevil. Plays without fear.
Free Safety: Jean Grey. She seems to have an amazing ability to read the opposing quarterback's mind.
Special Teams:
Kicker: Morten Andersen
Punter: Ray Guy
Return Speciialist: Devin Hester
Agree or disagree?
Showing posts with label Comic books. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Comic books. Show all posts
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
No, URLOTHD
Some notes prior to the unofficial holiday tomorrow. See, I remember when the day after Thanksgiving was not an official holiday from a company perspective. You would actually have to take a vacation day to get a four day weekend. Now not only is the four day weekend a mandate (because otherwise our economy would collapse (or collapse even further) but it is assumed that no one will perform actual work on Wednesday. So much for a productive society.
From the “More Things Change the More They Stay the Same” file I came across the following two personalized license plates while driving on Sunday and they both filled me with a sense of anger and annoyance. Here they are…
IMLOVED: So whoop dee doo. You are loved. And you are apparently so confident of that fact that you feel the need to prove it via a license plate. All you are doing is arrogantly stating how happy you are. You know what? Screw you! The rest of us on the highway are bitter, emotionless shells of human beings who perform an endless array of farcical tasks on the infinitesimal hope that one day things will be slightly less sucky than they are right now. The last thing I want to see while driving is a reminder of how pathetic my life is. I think running that car off the road would be fully justified.
(Yeah, it hasn’t been the best few weeks in the relationship department for good old EC)
NO9TO5: I’m sorry but what could anyone have against Dolly Parton. Sure I can fully understand a dislike of Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin is a bit of an acquired taste but how could anyone make a public stand against a film that features Dolly Parton in all of her glory. Plus, it features the comical stylings of Dabney Coleman best known for roles in such films as…ok, he was in like three thousand films but none of them are coming to mind right now. But still, it is Dabney F’n Coleman. I see no reason to be protesting this film.
Switching gears, apparently Batman is going to follow in the footsteps of Superman, Captain America, numerous Flashes, and Uncle Ben and be killed off in the comic books. Sure, it will vaguely make sense. Batman is just a guy and you would think at some point someone would have come up with the bright idea of, I don’t know, shooting the guy but I’m not too sure I like this idea of bringing realism into comic books. Bruce Wayne has been Batman for seventy years and you know why that is the case? Because we really like having Bruce Wayne as Batman. We don’t want Dick Grayson or Tim Drake or whoever else they find on the scrapheap to replace him. We want the brooding old man. And let’s face it, we’re just going to find a way to resurrect him in a year anyway.
Also, I am so pissed that protestors have shut down the Bangkok airport. My flight connects through there. Sure, it takes me three days to get home but I got a really cheap fare.
Finally, a reason to read the blog over the holidays. On Thursday night I plan to provide my Holiday Season Television Guide. Don’t trust what you might find in some strange, archaic piece of communication colloquially referred to as a “newspaper”. Only at Battling the Current will you find out what to watch, where to watch it, and how much nog is required for you to adequately accept the fact that Larry the Cable Guy has a Christmas special. Should be great.
From the “More Things Change the More They Stay the Same” file I came across the following two personalized license plates while driving on Sunday and they both filled me with a sense of anger and annoyance. Here they are…
IMLOVED: So whoop dee doo. You are loved. And you are apparently so confident of that fact that you feel the need to prove it via a license plate. All you are doing is arrogantly stating how happy you are. You know what? Screw you! The rest of us on the highway are bitter, emotionless shells of human beings who perform an endless array of farcical tasks on the infinitesimal hope that one day things will be slightly less sucky than they are right now. The last thing I want to see while driving is a reminder of how pathetic my life is. I think running that car off the road would be fully justified.
(Yeah, it hasn’t been the best few weeks in the relationship department for good old EC)
NO9TO5: I’m sorry but what could anyone have against Dolly Parton. Sure I can fully understand a dislike of Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin is a bit of an acquired taste but how could anyone make a public stand against a film that features Dolly Parton in all of her glory. Plus, it features the comical stylings of Dabney Coleman best known for roles in such films as…ok, he was in like three thousand films but none of them are coming to mind right now. But still, it is Dabney F’n Coleman. I see no reason to be protesting this film.
Switching gears, apparently Batman is going to follow in the footsteps of Superman, Captain America, numerous Flashes, and Uncle Ben and be killed off in the comic books. Sure, it will vaguely make sense. Batman is just a guy and you would think at some point someone would have come up with the bright idea of, I don’t know, shooting the guy but I’m not too sure I like this idea of bringing realism into comic books. Bruce Wayne has been Batman for seventy years and you know why that is the case? Because we really like having Bruce Wayne as Batman. We don’t want Dick Grayson or Tim Drake or whoever else they find on the scrapheap to replace him. We want the brooding old man. And let’s face it, we’re just going to find a way to resurrect him in a year anyway.
Also, I am so pissed that protestors have shut down the Bangkok airport. My flight connects through there. Sure, it takes me three days to get home but I got a really cheap fare.
Finally, a reason to read the blog over the holidays. On Thursday night I plan to provide my Holiday Season Television Guide. Don’t trust what you might find in some strange, archaic piece of communication colloquially referred to as a “newspaper”. Only at Battling the Current will you find out what to watch, where to watch it, and how much nog is required for you to adequately accept the fact that Larry the Cable Guy has a Christmas special. Should be great.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Batman and bobbins
Since I know that people will be asking for it I’ll just post it now. Here are my initial opinions on the first episode of Project Runway. First off, does every female contestant have long straight black hair? Now that isn’t really a complaint on my part, since I really dig the look and it pretty much assures that there will be one contestant I like due to her look alone making it deep into the show, but I seriously cannot tell any of them apart. Also, if I have to listen to that douchebag say “girlicious” every freaking episode someone is going to pay big time. I hate people who try to come up with their own catchphrase. It is like giving yourself a nickname, it is just not acceptable. Such as calling yourself Suede. Once I saw that I figured that I should just rename myself Pleather or 90% Rayon.
As to the winners and losers I pretty much agreed. Even someone with as little fashion sense as me realized how horrible Jerry’s outfit was. I mean, it was a white shower curtain on top of more white and had almost no form whatsoever. The yellow gloves also gave it that whole murederous housewife vibe. Kelli’s skirt (made of vacuum cleaner bags and colored with bleach, dye and apparently cigarette burns) turned out rather stunning. On first look I had a Jackson Pollack feel going where you didn’t know if it was going to be art or noise. It came out on the art side and she won as well. Overall, not a strong showing by the cast but it is only the first episode.
(And yes, I obviously admit to watching Project Runway. For some reason I find it a very interesting show. You’ve got cool contestants, since it is fashion everyone can have an opinion on who is better, and I get to watch scantily clad women walk around. Pretty much a win-win all around. Only thing that could beat it is the return of Australia’s Next Top Model, which is the same as America’s Next Top Model except with much cooler accents.)
So the big thing this weekend is the new Batman movie. I doubt that I will go see it this weekend but I will probably check it out during the week (at least that way I’ll be able to avoid some of the crowds). Now while I will always admit to being a Marvel guy more than a DC guy I have to admit that the Batman character is rather cool. In fact, he is probably the least DC like of any of their major heroes and that is what makes him great.
What bothered me most about DC comics as a kid is that their heroes were basically gods. That is what Superman is. He’s just this undestructible force with an inscrupulous moral code. Wonder Woman falls into the same realm. Then you have Green Lantern (the space traveler with a bizarre weakness to the color yellow) and Martian Manhunter (a Martian) and Aquaman (less of a superhero and more of a host of an exhibit at SeaWorld.) Those aren’t heroes you can relate to easily. That is the wonder of Spider Man (who is a bit of a loser teenager) or the X Men (teenage outcasts) and Iron Man (a lovable drunk). I know what that is like.
Batman, on the other hand, is different. Because at the end of the day Batman is entirely human. All he has are his wits and his inventions and his focus. No super powers, no magical gifts, just a man with his flaws taking on evil. That makes for a great character because you can play to his weaknesses. Plus there is the entire fact that he is a vigilante. In fact, he is a lawbreaker. There is the entire ethical dilemma of whether or not Batman is in fact doing the right thing by going outside the law to stop crime. That makes for some heady plots. And it sure sounds like the movie hits on them. Should be a good one to check out.
As to the winners and losers I pretty much agreed. Even someone with as little fashion sense as me realized how horrible Jerry’s outfit was. I mean, it was a white shower curtain on top of more white and had almost no form whatsoever. The yellow gloves also gave it that whole murederous housewife vibe. Kelli’s skirt (made of vacuum cleaner bags and colored with bleach, dye and apparently cigarette burns) turned out rather stunning. On first look I had a Jackson Pollack feel going where you didn’t know if it was going to be art or noise. It came out on the art side and she won as well. Overall, not a strong showing by the cast but it is only the first episode.
(And yes, I obviously admit to watching Project Runway. For some reason I find it a very interesting show. You’ve got cool contestants, since it is fashion everyone can have an opinion on who is better, and I get to watch scantily clad women walk around. Pretty much a win-win all around. Only thing that could beat it is the return of Australia’s Next Top Model, which is the same as America’s Next Top Model except with much cooler accents.)
So the big thing this weekend is the new Batman movie. I doubt that I will go see it this weekend but I will probably check it out during the week (at least that way I’ll be able to avoid some of the crowds). Now while I will always admit to being a Marvel guy more than a DC guy I have to admit that the Batman character is rather cool. In fact, he is probably the least DC like of any of their major heroes and that is what makes him great.
What bothered me most about DC comics as a kid is that their heroes were basically gods. That is what Superman is. He’s just this undestructible force with an inscrupulous moral code. Wonder Woman falls into the same realm. Then you have Green Lantern (the space traveler with a bizarre weakness to the color yellow) and Martian Manhunter (a Martian) and Aquaman (less of a superhero and more of a host of an exhibit at SeaWorld.) Those aren’t heroes you can relate to easily. That is the wonder of Spider Man (who is a bit of a loser teenager) or the X Men (teenage outcasts) and Iron Man (a lovable drunk). I know what that is like.
Batman, on the other hand, is different. Because at the end of the day Batman is entirely human. All he has are his wits and his inventions and his focus. No super powers, no magical gifts, just a man with his flaws taking on evil. That makes for a great character because you can play to his weaknesses. Plus there is the entire fact that he is a vigilante. In fact, he is a lawbreaker. There is the entire ethical dilemma of whether or not Batman is in fact doing the right thing by going outside the law to stop crime. That makes for some heady plots. And it sure sounds like the movie hits on them. Should be a good one to check out.
Thursday, May 01, 2008
I am Iron Man
This might be a tough blog post to write. Not because it is going to be on a sensitive subject or anything. More like I’ve been at a computer writing on and off for the past six hours so coming up with yet another topic to write about is going to be a little challenging. My main break so far was for dinner and to watch the storm of doom that came through the area. The tornado sirens even went off, which caused me to rush onto my porch to see what was happening.
Yeah, self-preservation is not exactly one of my strong suits.
I did accomplish one very important task today. I got my hair cut. I’ll put that on the plus side of the unemployment ledger; I can get a haircut on a Thursday afternoon and not feel bad about it in the least. Before it was always a Saturday errand and it bummed me out that I was using up some of my valuable free time in a situation where multi-tasking would be a dangerous undertaking. This afternoon all I had to do was decide between a haircut and watching Judge Judy. This is a much nicer way to live.
Since I am low on topics, and since the movie is coming out, I might as well give my views on Iron Man. I heard him described as a second tier hero today and I didn’t think that was fair. True, he probably ranks behind Spidey and the Hulk and Captain America in the Marvel pantheon but I always thought he was pretty cool. I always liked him better than the Fantastic Four as a whole (I never understood why you would have a guy whose only ability is that he can stretch his body be the leader of a fighting force) and he would totally kick Aquaman’s ass (yes, that is a DC character but I just really, really hate Aquaman. Swimming is not a superpower.)
Iron Man is actually a rather interesting character. Originally he wore the suit due to a heart condition that was caused by stepping on a landmine in southeast Asia. His character was kind of built around the whole Vietnam anti-communist view. Not sure if they were aiming for an update Captain America or not but in the end the character became the billionaire playboy. Similar to Bruce Wayne but without as much of the dark edge.
Ok, that’s not entirely accurate. The biggest part of the Iron Man mystique is that Tony Stark is an alcoholic. That’s not something you would typically see in the comic books. Heroes might have weaknesses but it is always something like kryptonite. Here it was shown that there really was a man behind the suit who was as human as one can be. It makes for a rather amazing character. The reason I’ve never liked Superman is that the character is essentially a god. He comes from outer space, has unearthly powers and does nothing wrong. Batman is human and has no superpowers, just surviving on his wits and skill. Iron Man falls somewhere in between, human and flawed but with the ability to fly and blow stuff up by shooting laser beams from his hands.
Does that mean that the movie will be any good? It looks good and Robert Downey Jr. is a brilliant choice to play Tony Stark. He just has the alcoholic playboy look about him. I like the look better than Speed Racer, which even in commercials seems to annoy me. Mainly I just hope for superhero movies that make me remember why I read comic books in the first place. To escape from the every day.
Now, when they make Watchmen into a movie I’ll really rip into what they are doing. Unless they make that a 12 hour movie it is just not going to work.
Yeah, self-preservation is not exactly one of my strong suits.
I did accomplish one very important task today. I got my hair cut. I’ll put that on the plus side of the unemployment ledger; I can get a haircut on a Thursday afternoon and not feel bad about it in the least. Before it was always a Saturday errand and it bummed me out that I was using up some of my valuable free time in a situation where multi-tasking would be a dangerous undertaking. This afternoon all I had to do was decide between a haircut and watching Judge Judy. This is a much nicer way to live.
Since I am low on topics, and since the movie is coming out, I might as well give my views on Iron Man. I heard him described as a second tier hero today and I didn’t think that was fair. True, he probably ranks behind Spidey and the Hulk and Captain America in the Marvel pantheon but I always thought he was pretty cool. I always liked him better than the Fantastic Four as a whole (I never understood why you would have a guy whose only ability is that he can stretch his body be the leader of a fighting force) and he would totally kick Aquaman’s ass (yes, that is a DC character but I just really, really hate Aquaman. Swimming is not a superpower.)
Iron Man is actually a rather interesting character. Originally he wore the suit due to a heart condition that was caused by stepping on a landmine in southeast Asia. His character was kind of built around the whole Vietnam anti-communist view. Not sure if they were aiming for an update Captain America or not but in the end the character became the billionaire playboy. Similar to Bruce Wayne but without as much of the dark edge.
Ok, that’s not entirely accurate. The biggest part of the Iron Man mystique is that Tony Stark is an alcoholic. That’s not something you would typically see in the comic books. Heroes might have weaknesses but it is always something like kryptonite. Here it was shown that there really was a man behind the suit who was as human as one can be. It makes for a rather amazing character. The reason I’ve never liked Superman is that the character is essentially a god. He comes from outer space, has unearthly powers and does nothing wrong. Batman is human and has no superpowers, just surviving on his wits and skill. Iron Man falls somewhere in between, human and flawed but with the ability to fly and blow stuff up by shooting laser beams from his hands.
Does that mean that the movie will be any good? It looks good and Robert Downey Jr. is a brilliant choice to play Tony Stark. He just has the alcoholic playboy look about him. I like the look better than Speed Racer, which even in commercials seems to annoy me. Mainly I just hope for superhero movies that make me remember why I read comic books in the first place. To escape from the every day.
Now, when they make Watchmen into a movie I’ll really rip into what they are doing. Unless they make that a 12 hour movie it is just not going to work.
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