Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Minor League Promotions in a Minor League State

April is upon us and that can mean only one thing: the start of baseball season. Out here in Wilmington that means the Delaware Blue Rocks take the field. For my Kansas City friends this is much like watching the Royals play except a) a higher likelihood of seeing the home team win a game and b) a complete lack of a giant Garth Brooks singing “Friends in Low Places.” Also, no fountains. Anyway, the only purpose of watching minor league baseball is for the promotions so let’s see what they have in store for us this season.

Tiger Woods / Celebrity Fall From Grace Night: Because nothing says fun at the old ballpark like celebrity sex scandals. Enter the raffle for a free trip to sex rehab (say hi to Jesse James for us!) Watch as local celebrities Jon and Kate plus their eight field a full softball lineup against the Octomom and her brood. It’s fun for the whole family.

George “The Animal” Steele night: I have two words for you, “fuck” and “yeah”. I am so going to this. When else are you going to get a chance to meet legendary pro wrestler and master of the flying hammerlock George “The Animal” Steele. I am already getting my tongue green in anticipation of this and might even bring a torn turnbuckle cover for him to sign. True story: in reality George Steele was a high school teacher in Detroit. I always wondered what it must have been like to be one of his students.

Mullet Day: Or, as it is known in Delaware, Tuesday.

Cowboy Monkey Rodeo Night: Monkeys in cowboy costumes riding border collies for our amusement. This might the pinnacle of the human race. I mean, I can’t think of a single thing to add to this to make it any better except for the possibility of gambling on the outcome. And before you say how horrible this is for the monkeys remember two things: A) the border collies have it worse and B) we gave them tens of thousands of years to evolve and they didn’t so it is their own fault that they are getting stuffed into a cowboy costume.

Michael Jackson Tribute and Pizza Eating Contest: I am really struggling for a connection here. The best I can come up with is childhood sleepovers and that makes me feel dirty just typing it. Again, I don’t believe that Michael is actually dead. This is just a really elaborate publicity stunt to promote the anniversary of the Thriller video.

Mr. Celery’s 10th Birthday: The mascot of the Delaware Blue Rocks is a large stalk of celery referred to simply as Mr. Celery. This has never been explained to me. To be honest I find the entire concept rather frightening if only because he is the only mascot that I know of who is also edible.

Tribute to Scrapple: In the words of Robbie Fulks “It’s scrapple! Scrapple! The pride of Pennsylvania!” So we’re in the wrong state, sue me. Scrapple is one of those local delicacies made out of random parts of a pig. You can get scrapple sandwiches every night at the stadium. It’s scraptacular. I assume the tribute will be much like Pork Day at Illinois, which is simply an excuse to eat as much of a pig as you possibly can in one afternoon.

Wednesday Night Music Club: Not all of the artists we listened to in the 90’s disappeared. Some are still making really good music. Here is Glen Phillips, formerly of Toad the Wet Sprocket. Give the song a listen.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Hollywood has now officially run out of ideas

Your weekly pop culture wrap up….

1) It’s official everyone. Ricky Martin is gay. I know this comes as stunning news to us all. We were all certain that he just hadn’t found the right woman even with his mother suggesting that nice girl from the coffee shop. I mean, he could have at least taken her out for coffee, though I guess taking a girl who works at a coffee shop out for coffee is kind of redundant. Anyway, yes the former member of Menudo has finally come out of the closet a good decade after anyone cared about him or had any doubts about his sexuality. This may be the least shocking piece of celebrity gossip ever.

2) In slightly less surprising celebrity gossip, My Beloved Lindsay was spotted leaving a house late at night with, us, large puffs of a white powdery substance emanating from her shoes. She claims that it is talcum powder, which for a normal person would actually make sense. Sadly the thought that it might be another white powdery substance is much more likely though how in the world it would end up in her shoes is beyond me. Still this is clearly the easiest joke ever given to late night comics.

3) It also has hit the wires that the news organizations are already writing Lindsay’s obituary so that they will have it ready to go in case something happens to her. This isn’t that unusual; they had one set for Michael Jackson as well. Typically you set it up in advance for major public figures or for people you expect to pass away soon. Given that no one can recall the last thing Lindsay did we should take this as a sign that she needs serious help. It’s fascinating, macabre and more than a little depressing that someone can destroy themselves on a public stage and no one does anything to stop it. So Lindsay, if you read this post from your last remaining fan, go to rehab. Dr. Drew will do his best to help you out.

4) In the “For crying out loud, I should just move to Hollywood to pitch movie ideas” the eTrade babies are going to be made into a full length movie by Fox. Yes, the same people who brought you the Geico Caveman series, the Baby Bob show and the Alf 1-800-Collect ads are going to struggle to make a 90 minute movie out of talking babies who are focused on their portfolio and their golf games. I think even reading this made me feel a little dead inside.

5) I didn’t realize this until I read some comments on the eTrade baby online. Ever realize that the baby is a bit of a prick? He is constantly talking about his portfolio, completely rips on his golfing partner, goes to bachelor parties in Vegas while trash talking one of his friends and cheats on his girlfriend with that milkaholic Lindsay. Even as a baby he is the type of guy you want to hate. If you are going to make a movie about a talking baby at least make him likeable.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Rear Window Confessional

Monday Weigh In: As my weight loss plans have been scrapped on numerous occasions I have been really struggling to figure out how to start a fitness regimen and stick to it. I have finally concluded that public humiliation is the way to go. As I cannot appear on The Biggest Loser (even though the idea of intentionally getting fat just to appear on the show is tempting) I’ve decided to avoid posting pictures of myself shirtless and will instead post my weight on a weekly basis. We start off the process with my weighing in at 208.5 pounds on my 6 foot 1 frame. Medically speaking, this makes me “chubby.” Watch over the weeks as I intend to progress to “husky” to “average” to “wait a minute, you actually have abs?”

Over the past few days I have seen interesting things written on the back windshield of cars. You know what I am talking about; typically it is someone championing some high school sports team or referencing a trip of some sort. Well, the two that I saw were both high school related but I have to admit I have never seen anything like it before in my life.

The first one read simply “Will you go to prom with me?” There are a couple of different ways to interpret this. On one hand, maybe it was a young suitor who decided to ask a girl to prom by writing it on her rear window. This might be considered sweet and romantic and probably more considerate than my “Have my English teacher pull the girl out of class so I could ask her to prom” approach. On the other hand though, maybe this person is so desperate to find someone to go to prom with that they are openly advertising their availability. They have created their own moving billboard and have established a great deal of viral buzz around their prom status. Sure you’ll probably have to field inquiries from strangers but it’s probably more effective than posting on Craigslist.

The other one I saw on a mini-van on my way to work this morning. It read “I’m legal.” I’m trying to figure out a good connotation for this or at least one in which it is valid to put this on your mom’s mini-van and I am coming up a complete blank. I take it to mean that the driver is 18 and even though I didn’t see who was driving I just immediately assumed that it was a female. I don’t know why other than a) guys tend not to write messages on the back of windshields and b) I’m not sure any guy would celebrate turning 18 by saying “I’m legal.” (Ok, they could be turning 21 in which case it is just a way of saying, “Yes officer, please pull me over.”) If anyone has any ideas on how to better interpret this one please let me know.

Finally, did anyone catch the new Vitamin Water commercials over the weekend? I love the fact that they are now actively promoting themselves to the hangover demographic. It is a vital portion of the marketplace, those of us who find ourselves slightly overserved to the point where we spend the next day sleeping on the couch listening to NASCAR on rain delay. It’s nice to know that when you wake up the next morning with no clue where your pants are that Vitamin Water is there for you.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Banners and Bandwagons

Wow, the game wasn’t even over yet and I had people writing me to inform me that Duke sucks. Yes, I know that very well. They also play incredibly ugly basketball but for some reason they just keep on winning. I guess that you can tell that my fandom has started to wane as I really am not celebrating this final four berth. Mainly because I don’t think that I earned the right to celebrate it as a fan.

If there is one thing that I cannot stand it is bandwagon fans. Those are the people who suddenly show up to support their local teams just when they start to win. As a kid growing up in Chicago the idea of supporting a winner was pretty foreign to me because the teams never won. You had to support your team through the crappy seasons because otherwise you would have no reason to ever go to the games. So I’ve tried really hard in my life to not be the guy who buys the team shirt just as they enter the playoffs.

And while I have more Duke related clothing than I know what to do with they all come from a different part of my life. To be honest I haven’t bought a new Duke shirt in probably eight years and what I do have a) doesn’t fit me and b) is by definition at least eight years old and in some cases nearly twenty years old. This will come as surprising to people who have known me for a long time but outside of workout clothes my Duke gear is no longer part of my wardrobe.

Up until this weekend I don’t even think that I watched a full Duke game. I certainly didn’t want the Duke – Carolina matchups which in previous years were like holy days to me. I didn’t even know that Duke had two brothers on the team. Outside of a few of their veteran starters the team was pretty unknown to me. I still cheered for them but I just could never bring myself to be a huge fan. This is partly because they really do play an ugly style of basketball: a grinding, defensive, brutally physical style of play. It works but there isn’t much joy in it (especially when compared to a team like the Illinois Final Four team that may have been the most exciting basketball I have ever seen.) But the biggest problem is that the team plays like a bunch of whiners.

It’s an outgrowth of the J. J. Reddick years. I know that some people would point to Laettner and Hurley for starting all of this but those teams were at least out there trying to prove themselves. Wojo may have wined a bit but he was also an undersized, feisty point guard who fouled on every single possession. In past years though the guys who play for Duke act as if they are owed calls and respect simply for the name on the uniform. Scheyer pulled it off this evening and drew a technical on Baylor. At times I just want to tell the team to suck it up and play.

I still cheer for Duke. I have my poster of the 89 / 90 squad next to me as I write this. The Duke – Kentucky game may still be one of the five greatest moments of my life. But it just isn’t a big deal any more. The school rejected me twice and I’ve gotten over it. My life has moved on and improved. I don’t need a basketball team to justify my existence any more.

Best of 120 Minutes: I’m just in a Soul Asylum mood at the moment.



The five random CDs for the week:
1) Steve Earle “Transcendental Blues”
2) Gear Daddies “Can’t Have Nothing Nice”
3) The Police “Live”
4) Various Artists “Real: The Tom T. Hall Project”
5) Sting “The Soul Cages” (the first CD I ever bought for anyone wondering)

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Let's get this week to end

Things I can cross off my list of things to do: Finish a 1,500 piece jigsaw puzzle single handed. (Ok, I used both hands but you know what I mean.) Yes, I finally finished my jigsaw puzzle tonight after several weeks of effort. It wasn’t that difficult and I could have finished it earlier if I had put in a few later nights but overall I was really happy with the challenge. For some reason it really calmed me down by working on it, probably because my obsessive compulsive nature finally had something useful to do. Next challenge: the 3,000 piece behemoth that will take up most of my floor.

Celebrity gossip news: Did you know that Jesse James had multiple mistresses? Over multiple years? While still being married to Sandra Bullock? Yes, we now have a new leader in the Douchebag of the Year category.

I actually read someone today make the point that we shouldn’t make fun of Jesse James and that we should feel sorry for him because his failures have to be in public. I don’t get that reasoning at all. From my perspective that is entirely why we should be making fun of him. It’s guys like him and Tiger who make every woman assume that any man will cheat on them on a moment’s notice. That is not entirely true (I would never cheat, other men I cannot be so sure of.) Still, the male species is painted with the same brush due to these guys and I would rather not be placed in the same category as a guy who hooks up with rather unattractive tattoo models.

Also, Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian have broken up. Now that the Saints have won the Super Bowl I really don’t care about this relationship one bit. Unless their breakup would somehow necessitate the returning of the Lombardi trophy I have no problem with the two of them going their own way: Reggie to football and Kim to whatever it is that she actually does.

Last random note before I call it a night. (Yes, I know this is another night of random thoughts. It’s been a long week.) For those wondering, Kim and I drove right past that volcano in Iceland that is exploding right now. The entire trip we were told about how active the volcanoes were and how they could go at any time. We missed it by six months. I’m not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I’m not sure if relaxing in the Blue Lagoon spa would be quite the same with volcanic ash floating over you.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

I was a teenage werewolf

So I watched New Moon over the weekend. Yes, I admit that I watched a movie featuring teenage vampires. At least now I am back on the same playing field as the rest of pop culture. Anyway, I had a few thoughts on the film and the phenomenon in general.

1) As someone who hasn’t seen the first film nor read any of the books I was stunned by the fact that there was no introduction or prologue at all. We are just dropped into the movie with no explanation as to who anyone is or why we should care. Now I was able to get the gist of things pretty quickly given that I do pay attention to pop culture and stuff but I found it pretty stunning. It was the first time I really found myself wanting one of those Star Wars opening crawls.

2) The female lead is given a camera by her dad to take pictures of all her friends who just happen to be vampires. Except that vampires don’t appear on film. But since digital cameras are not film that seems to not be a problem.

3) Mirrors aren’t an issue either. And don’t get me started about how they can go out in daylight. It pisses me off just thinking about it. Bela Lugosi would be spinning in his grave if he wasn’t buried at the crossroads with a stake through his heart.

4) Even if I grant the ability for people to randomly change into wolves without requiring a full moon can someone please tell me why none of the werewolves are ever wearing shirts? And don’t tell me that it is because when they change into wolf form their shirts would rip Hulk style. If that was the case why the hell are they all wearing pants?

5) So let me get this love triangle story straight. Bella loves Edward. Edward decides after dating Bella for a while that it is too dangerous for them to be together so he dumps her in the middle of a forest where she nearly dies. He then disappears without a trace. Jacob comes in and takes care of Bella, brings her back to the real world, shows her love and respect and saves her life. However, by saving her life Edward somehow thinks that Bella is dead and goes off to kill himself causing Bella to go running back to save Edward and be with her love, completely forgetting about Jacob in the process. No wonder Jacob is pissed off. I’d be mauling random hikers too if I was him.

6) Even with these critiques I have to say that I kind of liked the film. I’m not the target audience of course but the film held its own for the most part. The love triangle and an impending war between werewolves and vampires makes for a great premise and leaves plenty of opportunities. Yes, the story is overly romantic but that is the entire genre. Given that I went into watching it with pretty low expectations I have to say that I was quite impressed at the end.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Bits of stuff

It’s tough living in Delaware. There is nothing much to say about the state other than it has no sales tax. I’m not quite sure where anything is and I have a slight suspicion that there isn’t anything to locate in the first place. And, on days like today, I find myself driving behind pick up trucks bearing a) an NRA license plate and b) a magnetic memorial ribbon that reads “support farting.”

I can take the NRA plate. I really don’t have a problem with that. I could maybe even take the ribbon, even though my inner 10 year old can’t quite find the humor in it. Seeing both at the same time just makes me very, very sad for humanity.

(Add to that the fact that I constantly see dead deer on the side of the road in this part of the country. I have yet to get used to that sight. I really don’t think I want to get used to it. There is nothing more depressing than being on a leisurely drive and then notice Bambi lying motionless on the shoulder.)

On the plus side, my Illini are still in the tournament! Not the one that matters, of course, and I am unable to watch any of the games but they are still playing basketball. Also, we can now use our home court instead of letting it be in the hands of Cirque du Soleil. Personally, I would have just held both events at the same time. Serves them right for having a circus completely devoid of elephants.

Random side political note: Sarah Palin looks to be close to a deal with Discovery that will bring her $1.2 million an episode for a reality show on Alaska. I have no problem with her doing this deal or for Discovery doing this deal. I just hope that someone brings this up when she starts talking about the horrors of the mainstream media when she has a multi million dollar production deal with the mainstream media in the works. I’m not saying that the media is perfect either, just that all of the cards are placed on the table.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Politics and putts

See, I told you guys about Bill Self! He is evil incarnate with a toupee. He made fans of Kansas cry. He made people in Iowa happy. What can be more evil than that?

(I’ll be honest, I wasn’t even watching that game. Kim and I decided to watch several episodes of Hoarders, which made us both decide that we really, really need to clean out our closets. Seriously, if you need to get motivated to clean up your house watch that show.)

I’ve only caught bits of the Tiger Woods interview but here is the most interesting part of the transcript I saw. When asked why did he marry Elin he answered “I loved Elin with everything I have.” Look at the verb tense there. True, the question is about why did he get married, which is technically a past event, but nowhere in his extended answer does he say that he currently loves his wife. I’m someone who takes those little things very seriously.

Also interesting was how the networks handled it. Tiger offered a five minute interview. The Golf Network jumped at it, which is not surprising as otherwise they would have been forced to show the Best of Lee Cordova’s Putting Challenge. CBS turned it down because they felt that five minutes was not nearly enough time to do a true interview on the subject. ESPN jumped at it though and sent a B team reporter (basically someone not named Bob Ley). Here is what I find interesting. ESPN took the interview and not ABC. They’re the same company but they decided to treat it as sports instead of news. I still argue this is a news story. Tiger is a billion dollar brand, one of the biggest athletes on the planet and his actions will move stock prices. Yes this is a tawdry scandal but it is also news.

Then you had the health care bill passing. Now I’ve stated this before and I’ll state it again: I am for the idea of health care reform but feel that this is simply a bad bill that shouldn’t have been passed. It costs too much at a time when we simply do not have the money for it (we still haven’t funded the wars that we are fighting) and while the health care system is greatly flawed the main focus of the government for the past year plus should have been the economy. Even worse, this bill doesn’t put us on a slippery slope to universal health care it puts on a frictionless plane towards it. I’ve been in an emergency room in Britain. I really would not want a repeat of that experience.

That said, please keep this in mind when complaining about the bill. I’ve heard a few of these tossed out there in the blogosphere and it just makes the debate meaningless when there are so many concrete examples to discuss. The passage of the bill is not an example of tyranny as a collection of elected officials, who are up for reelection this year, passed it after a year’s worth of discussion. Its passage also doesn’t mean that the will of the people has been violated. We are talking about the House here, the government body that exists to best represent the will of the people. Again, if you disagree vote out your congressmen in November.

What the bill is, and this is a much better point for argument than words like tyranny, is an example of just horrible politics. This was a pure party line vote. All of the republicans voted no and 90% of the democrats voted yes. In reality, nothing is ever that clean cut along party lines. There were republicans who voted against the Iraq war and democrats who supported it. I cannot believe that, if given truth serum and placed in a dark room, that the votes would be the same. In the end you have politicians opposing or supporting the bill not because of their belief in it, or even what they feel is best for their district, but because of their desire to get reelected. On a bill as important as this that is just horrendous.

(For those wondering, my Delaware rep voted no and the rep in Chicago I kind of know is the only Illinois democrat to vote no.)

There are some good parts to the bill to be sure. I just don’t think it is the solution. I think it will turn into a beauracratic nightmare if ever really sees the light of day. The proof is in the pudding, though.

The five random CDs for the week:
1) Immaculate Machine “High on Jackson Hill”
2) Paul Burch “Last of My Kind”
3) Jimmy Buffett “Off to See the Lizard”
4) Wilco “Yankee Hotel Foxtrot”
5) Freakwater “Old Paint”

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Sports and gossip and the intermingling of the two

With the sounds of Bill Raferty waxing in the air (I swear if I was a coach I would start the game playing zone in any game of mine that he called) I’ll probably try to make a quick post of it tonight. Yes, I know that Notre Dame lost. Yes, I know that most of my picks were wrong. What is worse is that I couldn’t even watch the Notre Dame game until the end as we were getting Villanova almost losing to Robert Morris, a game in which we spent much of the time arguing what state Robert Morris was located in. I told you that I was scared to death of Old Dominion though and if I would have realized that it was a Thursday morning game I would have picked the upset. Those games are always upset specials.

Anyway, I figure that I will talk about the latest victim of the Oscar curse. Apparently it has become a tradition for the winner of Best Actress to have their marriage implode much like the career of the winner of Best New Artist at the Grammies to never be heard from again. Sandra Bullock joins the list of Halle Berry, Hillary Swank, Reese Witherspoon and Kate Winslet who have all gotten divorced following their Oscar win. In this case, Jesse James, the guy from Monster Garage who sits around and watches other people build stuff and then gives them tools after they’re done, was found to have cheated on Sandra with, well, let me try to explain this. It might be a little surprising that I don’t mind women having tattoos. If the art is good it can really be attractive. Well, Jesse was with someone who was covered with tattoos and they just weren’t very good. You have to question the judgment of someone who gives up on Sandra Bullock in the first place but with this one you want to check if he has enhaled to much exhaust over the years.

(Also, how the hell do you break up with Kate Winslet? She is simply one of the most incredible women on the planet. I still haven’t heard any details on that one but it simply doesn’t make much sense to me.)

We did also have the release of Tiger Woods’ text messages to his booty call today in which we learned just how stupid text messages read when they are not on a phone. We also learned the important lesson that text messages can be saved just in case anyone out there was wondering about that. At this point though, it really doesn’t matter for Tiger. It doesn’t surprise me that he is going to be back at the Masters. I know that some people are complaining that he is coming back too quickly but really, do you think he cares anymore if people view him as insensitive? It is not like his public persona can get any worse short of footage of him torturing kittens in his spare time becomes public. The Masters has the tightest control on the crowd and the press of any tournament so from an image management point of view it is the best place. He’s only missed two tournaments so far so it is not like he’s even missed much golf. It is a sad story still but a rather inevitable one.

That is it for tonight. I’ll go back to gorging on basketball.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Tournament Breakdown: Part Two

On to the second half of the brackets starting with the South.

Duke vs. Arkansas – Pine Bluff: Sigh. I have now been a Duke fan for over twenty years. When I started off in the late 80’s I was cool, cheering for the unknown school that would always make the Final Four. Then I became the guy who was essentially cheering the Yankees or Microsoft. Now even I can’t stand the team or their fans. The past few years the word I’ve used to describe Duke basketball is annoying. I’ll take the teams when Chris Carrawell was the best player on the court over what they have now. They’ll win this game and probably make the final four, maybe even win everything, but I’m not really happy about it.

Cal vs. Louisville: No, I have no idea why it is Cal as opposed to California. Maybe it is just too cool to be called by its full name. You have a Pac 10 vs. Big East matchup here or a matchup between the worst and best conferences. In that situation, take the team from the better conference even if it is coached by Rick Pitino who I swear looks like he is about to start selling life insurance policies from the sideline.

Texas A&M vs. Utah State: The Aggies explode here in the first round. I understand the war of the Tigers in the Clemson – Mizzou matchup but seriously, how many Aggies are there to matchup in college basketball. Since by law I am required to pick one 5-12 upset I am going to go with Utah State here. No real reason other than, hell, I assume Texas A&M runs the wishbone even when playing basketball.

Purdue vs. Siena: Let’s run through our upset checklist here. 1) Favorite team recently suffered season ending injury to star player? Check. 2) Underdog does not have a single underclassmen in starting lineup? Check. 3) Underdog has a coach who has won tournament games before? Check. 4) Favorite team is in the Big Ten? Check. Go with the crowd and take Siena here.

Notre Dame vs. Old Dominion: Kim and I have four alma maters between us and Notre Dame is the only one to make the tournament. At least it is one that we share. As much as I like ND here and will obviously be picking them to win this matchup scares the hell out of me. Not for any technical reason (it’s not as if I’ve studied game film of Old Dominion) just that this just smells right for an upset. Notre Dame made a good run in the Big East and is playing well but still trying to figure out how to bring their best player off the bench following injury. ODU is one of those schools that always seems to pull upsets in the tournament. Never trust a small school from Virginia whose name makes it sound like a member of the Wu Tang Clan. I’m hoping we bring the good leprechaun for this game.

Baylor vs. Sam Houston State: Well, at least we’ll get rid of one of the Texas schools in the first round. Sam Houston State are the Bearkats: Part bear, part cat, and part student forced to retake remedial English. I’ll take Baylor because Mike Singletary went to Baylor and that is a good enough reason as any.

Richmond vs. Saint Mary’s: Oh what I would give for a Notre Dame – St. Mary’s matchup in the Sweet Sixteen. It would turn South Bend into an absolute war zone. Wait, you mean that this isn’t that St. Mary’s? That would be like there being another Holy Cross? I’ve loved Richmond for years as a kick ass upset pick. They always seem to get out of the first round no matter what they are ranked. Sorry Smickers, got to go with the Spiders on this one.

Villanova vs. Robert Morris: Robert Morris falls into that dangerous category of schools that could be mistaken for one guy. Always have to worry about those. On the other hand, Robert Morris also sounds like one of those schools that are advertised on television where you could major in appliance repair. (On that note, why the hell doesn’t the University of Phoenix have a better basketball team?) Anyway, as an almost Philadelphia resident I have to go with Villanova here. They’ll get out of the first round but I don’t see them going much farther than that.

Finally, over to the west.

Syracuse vs. Vermont: Ah, the classic Orange vs. Catamount rivalry. Yes, it’s Orange as opposed to Orangemen. They are now named after the color. Let’s face it, there isn’t much you can say about a 1 vs. 16 matchup other than making fun of the names. The 1 seed wins. Let’s just leave it at that.

Gonzaga vs. Florida State: On my list of least favorite schools Florida State ranks with, well, no one else at the top of my list. Even sans Bowden I still find them incredibly annoying. Gonzaga has made the switch from tournament darling to old standby rather quickly. I actually think that is rather cool given how it always seems to be the same teams in the mix every year. Can’t see any reason why Gonzaga does not win this one.

Butler vs. UTEP: I’ve probably known a half dozen people in my life who have attended Butler. Or maybe Drake. Unless it was possibly Grinnell. Life would be a lot easier if they just combined all of those small, Midwestern private schools into one. Unless UTEP morphs back into Texas Western I don’t see them having a chance in hell at winning this game.

Vanderbilt vs. Murray State: I can never trust Vandy’s record. They have a home court that it is best described as totally unfair. The benches are under the basket and the court is actually above the floor. You get a headache watching the games on television, much less playing in them. Still, they are better than Murray State, the school best known for requiring each student to graduate with at least six credit hours in dance.

Xavier vs. Minnesota: Here is where my Illini would have ended up if it wasn’t for Tubby Smith bribing the selection committee. Who the hell goes by the name Tubby anyway? He isn’t even that fat. Guys named Tubby should be at least 500 pounds. I’m really big on the Atlantic 10 this year and I can’t get behind the Gophers in any sport that does not involve skates so I’m with the Musketeers. Any team that is led by D’artagnan is good enough for me.

Pitt vs. Oakland: If I am correct this is the Michigan Oakland and not the Oakland Oakland. That should be a requirement to be listed in the team name as otherwise it gets really confusing. Hell, why they aren’t called Southeast Michigan is beyond me. Anyway, Pitt is another one of those teams that survived the war that was the Big East and there is no reason why they can’t continue their winning ways. Plus, losing would mean that they would be forced to return to Pittsbugh and that is more motivation than you could ever imagine.

BYU vs. Florida: Two fanbases who have everything in common here. Florida is led by Billy Donovan, a fat tub of lard who should have another doughnut while he is at it. Not that I am bitter about a few players of his (ahem…Teddy Dupuay) or anything. I like BYU here due to their veteran leadership that arises from having guys go on Mormon missions and thus return as 25 year old seniors.

Kansas State vs. North Texas: One of my old Kansas City stories is how I spent one night talking to this girl and completely hitting it off only to find out three hours later that she had a boyfriend who was a Kansas State alum. I’ve hated the school ever since. She wasn’t lying either; I spent the next five years running into the two of them all around town. Given that I now realize that was the universe’s way of keeping me available to have my whirlwind romance with Kim I guess I should try to reconsider my opinion of the school. Still can’t stand their color scheme or the fact that they hired Bob Huggins to coach them at one point and thought that was a good idea. But they are better than the Mean Green and will make the Sweet 16 at least.

Final Four: Kansas, Kentucky, Duke and Pitt
Championship Game: Kansas, Kentucky
Champion: Kansas

Now excuse me, I’m going to grab a case of beer and a couch for the next couple of days.

Wednesday Night Music Club: My random CD program brought up my favorite concept album this week, which combines my two favorite things: 90’s alternative rock and cartoon theme songs. I mean, you have Juliana Hatfield and Tanya Donnelly singing the theme to Josie and the Pussycats. Nothing in life could be better than that. And don’t ask me why Drew Barrymore is there because I don’t know.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Tournament Breakdown: Part One

It’s tournament time again and this year I am going to break down all 32 first round games for you. Now I’ll state up front that I watched less college basketball this year than I have in any year since I was probably seven years old. When your alma mater a) makes the NIT and b) can’t play a home game because Cirque du Soleil has reserved the arena that night you begin to dread watching basketball. Still, I feel more than qualified to comment on the games. I’ll start with the Midwest bracket.

(Oh yes, we are back to having directional regions now as opposed to the whole “Atlanta bracket” experiment that everyone hated.)

Kansas vs. Lehigh: I hate Bill Self and his damn toupee. If I could take a lighter to that thing I would. Given that I had to be held back at a Royals game from showing my Illini / White Sox pride and taking him down while he was standing on the first base line I think you can say that I have some strong emotions here. Basically all Lehigh has going for them here is the nickname Mountain Hawks and that is counteracted by Kansas having a guy named Morningstar coming off their bench. Go with the team where evil lurks on the bench in Kansas.

UNLV vs. Northern Iowa: Why precisely do we need a Northern Iowa? I understand how we can have an Iowa and maybe even an Iowa State but after that is there really any need for additional schools in Iowa? I’ve driven through the state a few times and I really haven’t seen the need for them. With Lon Kruger at the helm UNLV will probably be facing NCAA sanctions by halftime so I’ll have to go with directional Iowa.

Michigan State vs. New Mexico State: On paper this looks like one of those first round games that the Big Ten always loses. Underachieving Big Ten team versus underrated mid-major. The thing is Michigan State tends to play well in the tournament and they made the championship game last year. Also, without Lou Henson at the helm I don’t think we can cheer for New Mexico State. They should wheel him out on the sidelines at all times.

Maryland vs. Houston: Over under on when Gary Williams sweats through his jacket: First television timeout. This game consists of two teams that do nothing but run so it might be one of the most interesting games in the tournament. Houston did one of those miracle conference tournament runs to get into the dance which means that they either a) have a ton of momentum or b) are dead tired and have already peaked. I’m going with the latter though it will be close.

Tennessee vs. San Diego State: Wow, the Midwest bracket should just be called “Coaches I hate.” Seriously, Bruce Pearl resulted in my having to sit through four wretched years of Illinois basketball where we had to convince ourselves that Tommy Michael was a legitimate Big 10 player. I know nothing about San Diego State other than Marshall Faulk went there but I’m picking them just out of pure spite.

Georgetown vs. Ohio: This is the other Ohio for those wondering, not the one that for some reason needs to be referred to as “The”. Ohio also couldn’t even have a winning record in the MAC while Georgetown held their own in the Big East. Personally, I would like Georgetown to require either a) have all their players wear grey t-shirts under their jerseys like Patrick Ewing or b) require one player on their team to change his name to Michael Jackson every year just to remind us of the old days. Georgetown in a walk.

Oklahoma State vs. Georgia Tech: Now that I’ve left Kansas City I no longer have to listen to sports radio in which the announcers truly believe that anyone gives a shit about the Big 12. No one does, seriously. People in Oklahoma don’t even care about Oklahoma State basketball. Unless Bryant Reeves comes back can we just say Georgia Tech won by five and get it over with? We don’t really need to waste television time on this one.

Ohio State vs. UC Santa Barbara: Ohio State: it’s like Ohio but with a “duh” in front of it. This UC school is the Gauchos, which is the second best nickname amongst the UC schools behind the Banana Slugs. Ohio State won the Big Ten tournament while playing some incredibly crappy basketball. Imagine what they will do when they start caring, which is lose in the Sweet Sixteen but that is getting ahead of ourselves.

And over in the East Region…

Kentucky vs. East Tennessee State: I really want to take East Tennessee State here. Not because they are going to win the game, John Wall is going to run right over them, but because in three years all of Kentucky’s wins from this season will be stripped due to recruiting violations. So I am going to call the upset that will occur on a technicality some point in the future. Watch John Wall now before he gets stuck playing for the Nets for the next three years.

Texas vs. Wake Forest: I’ve always like Texas’ basketball uniforms. For some reason the color just really works well. Sadly the team doesn’t as they somehow started 17-0 and finished 7-9. I have probably lost more money on Wake Forest than any other team in college basketball. I believe that I picked them to make the Final Four every year that Tim Duncan played and even one where he didn’t and lost money every time. Damnit, I’m still going to pick them to win. Bastards have to help me out eventually.

Temple vs. Cornell: This is another one of those games that I would really like to watch just because it is going to be so technically sound. This will be like bizarro world to any NBA game as it will consist entirely of passing, back door cuts and screens. If it wasn’t for the shot clock the final score would be something like 12 – 10. I know people like Cornell because it is cool to pick an Ivy League school but they just aren’t that good. Certainly not 12 seed good. Temple wins bigger than most people think.

Wisconsin vs. Wofford: Very difficult to pronounce Wofford without sounding like you have a lisp. Also, you expect their team name to be the Wofford Wunnin Webels or something like that instead of Terriers. Wisconsin plays the most boring style of basketball imaginable made only slightly more palatable by the fact that they usually win. Want to watch defense, lots of passing and no shooting? This game is for you. Wisconsin wins in a wout.

Marquette vs. Washington: I was taught the following rules about picking brackets growing up: always pick the Big 10 teams and the catholic schools. Suffice it to say it took me a few years until I figured out that I might actually want to win money one of these years. Still, I’ll keep a soft spot for Marquette against a Pac 10 team that could barely win a Pac 10 tournament that I believe only fielded three teams. Seriously, what the hell happened to the Pac 10? Did UCLA stop playing basketball when I wasn’t looking? Where the hell is Arizona?

New Mexico vs. Montana: (Yes, Arizona is next to New Mexico, I know.) Why this game is in the Midwest and not the West is beyond me. Have to like the Lobos in this one mainly because of their name. They’ll still lose early (probably to Marquette in the second round) but they’ll make it past this one. For those wondering, Montana is coached by Wayne Tinkle. He comes from a long line of Tinkles, tee hee.

Clemson vs. Missouri: It’s a battle of the Tigers and also a battle of two schools whose campuses I have been on. Clemson features orange tiger paws leading up to the football stadium. Missouri features, uh, a line of porn shops off of I-70 as you make your way into Columbia. And these places all look pretty dicey even when you are starting from the fact that they are porn shops. Like you would get a disease by parking in the lot and not getting out of your car. Mizzou is crashing as of late and even though the ACC is hella weak this year I always go with them so onwards Clemson.

West Virginia vs. Morgan State: The Mountaineers features a mascot who not only carries a rifle but actually occasionally fires it. Seems unfair that Morgan State is not allowed to have a bear roam free on the sideline potentially mauling members of the opposition. I’m going with West Virginia solely because I got drunk with one of their assistant coaches one night in Kansas City. It was amazing who you could meet on the stools at Harry’s.

Monday, March 15, 2010

80's Video Critical Interpretation: Lesson Three



Time for me to bring back one of my favorite recurring posts to the blog: The 80’s Video Rewind in which I dissect one of the classic videos from my youth. Tonight we will be focusing on Steve Perry’s solo hit “Oh, Sherrie.” Solo as in a) not with Journey and b) the only hit he had where he wasn’t a member of Journey. Let’s break it down…

1) I don’t know if anyone ever knew why he did a non-Journey album or exactly how this song differed from every other Journey song. There isn’t much difference between this song and Open Arms in that they are both sappy love songs. In fact, the only way that you can tell that it is not a Journey video is due to the complete lack of people playing keyboards that are attached to the side of a warehouse.

2) At this point in human history (1984 to be exact) Steve Perry was considered a sex symbol. After seeing him in closeup during this video you truly wonder just how in the world that could even be possible. Sure the dude had some serious pipes to him but he is not what one would consider to be a handsome man in the traditional sense. Even as a kid I couldn’t figure out how he would get a girl like Sherrie and this is made even more confusing by the fact that the woman in the video is his girlfriend who happens to be named Sherrie. To be honest even as an adult I can’t quite believe it.

3) Back in the good old days of MTV a video could have a minute worth of things happening before the song even starts. In this instance it is the filming of what would have been a much cooler video at least to the 11 year old me. A fight between good and evil in a primeval forest? Why couldn’t we get that video? What always amazed me is that the production costs for this video must have been astronomical as they had to film all of that wedding scene with the huge cast and costumes and props all to set up the fact that the actual video was going to consist mainly of Steve Perry singing on a staircase at a train station. Also makes you wonder why they just didn’t film that in the first place.

4) On your list of mid-80’s music clichés we have a) the British video director wearing a skinny tie who is of a firm belief that a Steve Perry video is fine art, b) a gum chewing, over made up publicist with comically large glasses and c) the music reporter with the severe platinum blonde hair who feels that the opportunity to interview Steve Perry is the highlight of her career.

5) For the guitar solo section of the song Steve Perry is playing a broom while someone else is rocking out on a lute. Now viewing this outside the realm of video this is clearly insane. While I can understand Steve Perry getting upset with the video shoot and running off to just sing the song and maybe even play a broom when he gets to what he knows is the guitar solo how the hell is the other guy on the stairs supposed to know there is a guitar solo going on? Did they cue up the music or something?

6) Here is your first verse “You should’ve been gone / knowing how I made you feel / and I’ve should’ve been gone / after all your words of steel”. I have no idea what words of steel are outside of possibly carbon and stainless.

7) In fact, the entire song is about how they would be better off apart. Yeah, the chorus is about how their love holds on but every other line discusses how they should have been gone. It’s not really that uplifting a love song.

8) Finally, the reason why the eleven year old in me will always remember this video: you could totally tell that Sherrie wasn’t wearing a bra. I’m not proud of knowing this fact but as an eleven year old boy before the days of the internet facts like this were very important.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Pi Day Parade!!!

I need to find out who I can complain to about the following. By having Daylight Savings Time start today I lost one hour of my favorite day of the year. I mean, who the hell steals one hour away from Pi Day? It is the most wonderful time of the year. There are so many days that could use one less hour, like any random Tuesday in February, but do you have to take it from Pi Day? That is one less hour spent drawing circles and it made my attempt at reciting the most digits of Pi on Pi Day completely moot.

(I’ll aim for the record in 2015. You know, because it will be 3/14/15….)

Yeah, I know that I missed a few more posts last week. Life took a few shots at me and I had to deal with those over writing. Actually, that isn’t really accurate. Kim was the one who had a string of bad luck including a hospital stay and while she is perfectly fine now and is tough as nails when it comes to anything health related I was a nervous wreck made worse by the long distance nature of our relationship. It is bad enough when someone you love is in the hospital; the fact that you can’t be there with them if even just to be there is really tough. I’m just glad that she is home safe and sound.

That said, I am getting sick of my lack of posting. I know that I’ve needed a bit of a break from writing, which is why I’ve taken some days off recently, but the fact is this blog is an outlet that I need to keep going. There is a reason why I’ve been doing this for over five years now; writing is my release. It keeps me from remaining stuck in the land of numbers as my job is basically one big spreadsheet. I get to keep up my dream of considering myself to be a professional writer (all I need to do is finally get someone to pay me for doing something that I gladly do for free.) And I get to find that my writing is being read by people across the world. But by not writing as often, and not as well, I’m not really achieving those goals.

So I am going to redouble my efforts at being creative once more. It’s not going to be easy as between work and real life my schedule has become jam packed but I know that I can do it. Plus, I just need a bit of a challenge right now. Increasing my readership is a fun one that I can measure. Expect to see a few changes to the format and a return of some old favorites. Time to make this space a must see attraction once again.

Best of 120 Minutes: Speaking of an old favorite I am returning to posting of music videos. Tonight I am going to feature someone who goes unacknowledged when we speak of Gen X and that is Dave Grohl, which is amazing because between Nirvana and Foo Fighters he may be the most successful rocker of my generation. Even more remarkable, I’ve never heard anyone offer any negative criticism to his music. The songs are just damn good and I’ll have to admit every time I fly I think of this video.



The five random CDs for the week:
1) The Mekons “Journey to the End of the Night”
2) The Frames “The Cost”
3) The Jayhawks “Hollywood Town Hall”
4) Drive By Truckers “Decoration Day”
5) Various Artists “Saturday Morning Cartoons Greatest Hits”

And, because I forgot to post it, the five random CDs for last week:
1) Jump, Little Children “The Early Years, Volume 1”
2) Cathy Richardson “Live at Park West”
3) Liz Phair “Juvenalia”
4) The Corn Sisters “The Other Women”
5) Nina Simone “Live at Village Gate”

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Corey and Lindsay: Parallel Lives

For the commenter on last night’s post: I do agree with the fact that it is definitely possible to parse out a generation between Gen X and the Boomers. Generations are vague things and while I typically stick with the Strauss and Howe definitions (in which case I should be using 13th Gen as the official distinction) but I can see the point. In reality, as someone born in 1973 I consider myself to be the heart of Gen X as I was 18 when Nevermind was released. Cobain was 24 at the time while Molly Ringwald and Anthony Michael Hall were 23. I think that all puts us in the Gen X category. But you’re right, St. Elmo’s Fire is not a Gen X film while The Breakfast Club most certainly is even if they may star the same actors.

Interesting timing that I wrote about Gen X last night while this morning we lost one of the Coreys. Yes, Corey Haim passed away this morning and as someone elegantly put it, he now has a license to drive in heaven. Corey Haim was an interesting celebrity as he was one of the first people to be famous because he was famous more than anything else. True, he starred in Lucas and The Lost Boys but that really isn’t enough of a resume to warrant such attention years after his biggest bouts of fame. He is remembered more for being a party boy and dealing with drug addictions than anything else. It is a strange legacy.

Speaking of people with strange legacies that will be forever linked with substance abuse My Beloved Lindsay is back in the news with possibly the worst lawsuit ever. It is one of those things that you have to read to believe. She is suing eTrade over my new favorite commercial in which one of the talking babies asks about “that milkaholic Lindsay.” Apparently, in My Beloved Lindsay’s mind this constitutes defamation of character, infringement on her good name and is worth $100 million in damages. Let’s examine this one, shall we?

First of all, the ad utilizes talking babies. It is highly likely that at this point Lindsay believes that babies can talk and that they are reading from a script. In fact, some of her comments seem to imply this as she talks about how horrible it is to have one year olds act out these scenes. I don’t believe that one year olds act per se. More like they exist. They don’t trade stocks either but that is an argument for another day.

Her big argument is that her first name is synonymous with her in the same way as Madonna and Oprah. Two huge flaws in that argument as a) she isn’t as famous as either of those two and b) her name isn’t as unique. I’ve never met an Oprah in my life though I have met a Madonna (she went by Donna). I’ve met several Lindsays and even in the past few weeks the news has been filled with stories about Lindsay Vonn. It’s tough to claim that your good name is being sullied when it isn’t even a direct reference to your name and being called a milkaholic really isn’t that bad of a thing.

The worst part of all is this is the claim for $100 million dollars as this commercial has ruined her good name and has caused untold pain and suffering. Now as someone who still has a lawsuit pending against the creators of “Everybody Hates Chris” I understand her point but come on, her name isn’t worth that much. Lindsay Lohan has no career at this point. She’s not even worth Playboy paying money for a pictorial. No one would hire her as an actress, she looks horrible and randomly suing large corporations isn’t a strong sign of mental stability. I’m wondering who the hell her lawyer is because I wouldn’t want my name associated with this lawsuit.

At one point in time Lindsay was a talented actress with huge potential. People said the same thing about Corey Haim at one point. Sadly, I feel that both stories will end up in the same place.

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Molly and me

I’ve been thinking more and more about the John Hughes tribute during the Oscars. It is the only moment from the ceremony that I find memorable but more importantly, I really see it as a touchstone moment in the history of Gen X. It really marks the moment where we are all forced to realize that we are adults.

To put this in a little perspective: Molly Ringwald is five years older than me so while she would not have been in high school with me (unless my parents would have relented and let me skip a few grades) but she would have been a classmate of one of my brothers. Same with Anthony Michael Hall. Ally Sheedy and Emilio Estevez are a few years older than that and Judd Nelson is fifty, which is just frightening. So the cast of The Breakfast Club are slightly older than me but not by too much. And Molly and Anthony Michael really are in the core of Gen X.

That is what makes their appearance at the Oscars so important. In part this is almost an acceptance that my generation gets a seat at the big kids table now. Sure, we have our own awards over the years but now we are called upon to honor a director who exemplified our generation. It wasn’t a Spielberg on stage honoring a colleague; it was people my age. I can’t quite remember something like that before.

Even more important though is the fact that this moment showed that we are all adults. One of the wonders of film is that certain stars will always remain a certain age. Molly Ringwald will always be a teenager in our minds and to see her as a true adult, beautiful and confident, takes us a back a little. We all have our own mental age, which is what we feel we are in our heads. For me it is something like 23 or 24. I’m continually in that just out of college stage. But Sunday night showed that is not the case. Anthony Michael Hall looks old in the sense that he looks like me and all my friends. We are old.

But even though Gen X is now old we have created this whole environment where we are perpetual teenagers. The majority of my Facebook status updates come from people I went to grade school and high school with otherwise known as people I have not seen or talked to for nearly twenty years. Most of them I would have no clue who they were if I passed them on the street. But thanks to Facebook I am constantly returned to high school with all of the bad and good that that implies thanks to their comments. I’m not alone on this. We are the John Hughes generation and we never left high school.

It’s strange to think that we have no voice in Gen X that I know of to lead us into adulthood. The boomers made their own show Thirtysomething to deal with it. We have, uh, Cougar Town? I don’t know of any good, mid 30’s television show out there. The voices of our strident college years are all gone, several of which by their own hands. The only music act that is still relevant from my college years is Pearl Jam and Eddie Vedder does one hell of a job putting up the good fight (Just Breathe may be as touching and meaningful as anything that I have ever heard.) Still, Dylan always spoke for the Boomers and we seem to have lost or maybe even never had that type of voice. We are a small generation that is no longer a target market. Media doesn’t care about us anymore.

Maybe that is my last take on the group of them standing onstage at the Oscars. They were successful but unsteady, for the most part unsure in their own skin. They all knew that they were adult members of society but the fancy clothes just felt wrong even on someone like Matthew Broderick for whom this is second nature. I think Gen X is scared of taking that step into adulthood. I know I am.

Monday, March 08, 2010

Oscar, Oscar

One of my daily tasks at work is to hit the blog so that I can look at my statistics on how many people visited the site the previous day. It is one of those thirty second breaks from spreadsheets that I enjoy. Today I clicked on my bookmark for this page and saw that the corporate web filter had blocked it and listed it under the category “sex.”

Ok, not only have I read everything on this site I have written every word of it. I have no idea how in the world they decided it fit that category. “Nonsensical ramblings written in improper English” sure but the last thing that I would consider this place to be is adult content. Immature is more like it. (Later in the day I wasn’t blocked so I don’t know quite what was going on.)

Anyway, I didn’t live blog the Oscars last night because I couldn’t bring myself to stay up past midnight but I have some comments on the proceedings. Here they are

1) Last night marked the first time that I ever cared when someone mentioned who they were wearing because Meryl Streep was wearing Chris March. Yes, the guy from Project Runway who was famous for making drag queen outfits and won a competition to make an outfit for a WWE diva. Obviously he and Meryl are a perfect combination. He was easily one of the most talented, funniest and coolest people ever to appear on that show so I am happy to see him get a big break.

2) Whoever decided to let Kathy Ireland be a red carpet interviewer deserves to be fired out of a cannon. There is a reason why she never had a career outside of appearing in Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issues. The woman simply cannot speak.

3) Now I am not one to ever question having Neil Patrick Harris appear in anything. In fact, I would put him on every show if I could. But wasn’t it just a little odd to have him be the first person on stage singing a song about the fact that there were two hosts? No fault of NPH there because he went for it with gusto and I love the fact that it cements him as a top tier personality but there seemed to be no point of it.

4) Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin were surprisingly unfunny. The monologue went on much too long and had a few too many dead spots. The problem with two hosts is unless they are a comedy team it doesn’t really make sense to do a monologue. They had no timing with regards to passing jokes on to one another and it seemed to be a poor showing by two incredibly talented people.

5) How do you have Michael Jackson in the “applaud for dead people” segment but not Farrah Fawcett? If you don’t consider Farrah a movie star then how could you consider Michael? I’m not a fan of that segment to begin with as it really becomes a popularity contest amongst the deceased but it just shows how poorly done it can sometimes be.

6) No real surprises amongst the acting winners though I still wish that when they hand out the awards that they would mention the winners lesser accomplishments like “Miss Bullock also starred in All About Steve and Speed 2: Cruise Control.” Also, props to Sandra for winning a Razzie and an Oscar in the same weekend. Jeff Bridges deserved an award for lifetime achievement at least so I have no problems with his victory either.

7) Speaking of lifetime achievement awards, how the hell could you not let Roger Corman and Lauren Bacall speak? I mean, it’s Lauren freaking Bacall. She would have thanked Humphrey Bogart in her speech. It would have been an amazing moment. The honorary Oscar is one of the cool moments of the night and they took it away from us.

8) The totally unexpected moment was the tribute to John Hughes. I did not see that coming at all. While he was a great director and essentially created his own genre his style typically does not result in such a posthumous honor. It was amazing to see all of his former stars on stage providing memories of his influence on their careers, which in Judd Nelson’s case appears to be working the late shift at a 7-11. But do you know what this segment really brought home for me? It’s the fact that we are old now. I mean, Hughes films were about teenagers that came out while I was a teenager. Now I look at Anthony Michael Hall and Matthew Broderick and go, wow, they are old. Which means I am old, too. Ally Sheedy may still look great but the fact is that are youth is over. We are adults now and John Hughes is gone so we have no idea how adults are supposed to be.

Thursday, March 04, 2010

Please direct me to the nearest bed

Sorry for the missed post last night but my need for sleep once again won out over my need to write. I really don’t want to turn the blog into a four night a week endeavor but I have a feeling that it might turn that way over the next few weeks. My schedule is just fill and my creativity level just isn’t there at the moment. It happens from time to time. Just know that my taking a break from writing typically means that better writing is ahead.

On the plus side I did finally get some sleep last night resulting in one very strange dream. It’s not every dream where you steal a priest’s car for a joyride. Now, for the record the keys were in the ignition and the car was unlocked so it was pretty much asking to be stolen (and the fact that it was parked in a spot labeled “parish priest” made it pretty obvious that it was a priest’s car.) I was more upset in the dream that the car drove horribly and was impossible to turn to the right and could barely turn to the left. There may be a political metaphor there but I’m not sure.

Anyway, this was one of those dreams that is incredibly vivid to the point where you start freaking out and thinking that it is real. Except that I realized that stealing a car is really not part of my nature so it had to be a dream and I had to keep on telling myself to wake up as this clearly wasn’t really happening. It took me a while to wake up though and I have to say that I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the ceiling of my bedroom. Sometimes it is nice to know that some things are just in your head.

Otherwise the only other thing of note is that I have started working on a 1,500 piece jigsaw puzzle that takes up the majority of my kitchen table. I believe the scene is called “a crapload of sky” and it is a rather bedeviling piece of work. I’ve finished most of the sky though as I am kind of doing this one backwards. For some reason I have found working on the puzzle to be really soothing. I don’t know if it is because it feeds into my obsessive nature or not but I am able to make myself calm down and relax by sitting down and making a little progress at a time. I’m at least a third of the way done now and making good headway. Next will be the 3,000 piece puzzle of doom, which will encompass most of my apartment I think.

Enjoy the Oscars this weekend everyone. I’m going to try to get some sleep.

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

The modern college experience

This came up on something I read on Deadspin and I really wanted to discuss it. The question was posted by a college kid who wondered how did people survive college classes before laptops? I mean, how did you waste time in boring classes without Facebook, instant messaging and funny cat videos on YouTube?

This is one of those things that makes me happy that I am not a college student right now. Even when I was in grad school a few years back it was kind of rare to see people with laptops open in class. We even had professors with set rules banning laptops in class because it was obvious that those with them were not taking any notes at all. Given how easily distracted I can be I couldn’t imagine sitting behind someone with a laptop. All I would do in class is watch them answer email. To be honest it was one of the reasons why I always sat in the front row. (Well, that and being a total suck up.)

I even think if I had class today I wouldn’t use a laptop to take notes. It just feels so wrong. Even in meetings I prefer to have pen and paper on hand. Something about forcing yourself to write makes the information clearer in your mind. It’s just too distracting to have the internet at your fingertips and if I’m paying for a class I might as well try to pay attention.

Not to say that I always paid attention. There is only so much you can take of engineering lectures before your mind overloads. Sleep was always useful. You get the points for showing up for class but don’t have to worry about things like taking notes. The student newspaper is also useful as while it may be poorly written it at least provides you with something to read. I think ninety percent of my pop culture lists were started in college as I figured I had to write down something as I listened to a lecture that sounded as though it was nearly entirely spoken in a language that had nothing to do with English.

Let’s face it. Not all classes are interesting. Even a great professor can have an off lecture. It is a part of learning. I still would like to be a teacher one day and I know that when I do kids will be doing everything they can to not listen to the lecture. It’s part of the job. I just think that laptops hinder the classroom experience more than they help.

Monday, March 01, 2010

The red lion of Spring

Some thoughts that are running through my head as March roars in like a giant robotic lion that combines with four other giant robotic lions to create a human / lion robot hybrid that has a sword for no apparent reason.

Random Thought # 1: Where in hell is my Voltron movie? Every other crappy show has had a movie made about it. Hell, if I remember correctly the game of Monopoly had the movie rights sold, which will be awesome as it will mark the first time in cinematic history that a thimble will have the lead role, so why not Voltron? Giant robot lions fighting giant robot monsters along with Princess Allura. The script basically writes itself.

Random Thought # 2: You know what you never see anymore? Magic Eye posters. Those things were everywhere in the mid 90’s and now no one has them. Not a bad thing given that I was one of those people who could never figure out how to look at them to see the image (that whole look through the image was a bunch of crap.) What is really interesting is that people hung these posters up in their home as if they were fine art or at least art. In reality they were just a bunch of squiggly lines. As is a Jackson Pollack painting I suppose.

Random Thought # 3: Another facet of mid 90’s culture that has not survived is the baseball card / sports memorabilia shop. For a while every other strip mall had one of these inside where a guy who was always slightly overweight and rocking a goatee would sit behind a Plexiglas case and hope that someone would buy from his card collection. Basically the entire card industry was a ponzi scheme at that point where you always hoped that you could find someone dumber than you to pay more for your piece of cardboard than you did. Sadly, I was one of those people who ended up with lots of pieces of cardboard when the market crashed. Oh well, at least I’ll always have my Cherokee Parks rookie cards for inspiration and a reminder of market bubbles.

Random Thought # 4: I was watching Book TV on CSPAN 2 over the weekend because, well, I apparently have no life when I am not with Kim. That is probably a good thing when you think about it. Anyway, I was watching a discussion about George Orwell moderated by Christopher Hitchens, who is one of those guys I could listen to all day due to his intelligence and high end British accent. As a fan and admirer of Orwell I was really interested in the talk, which is about a new collection of Orwell essays that was released. One of the things that was discussed made me rethink something that I had been pretty set in my ways on for years.

The question was what would Orwell think about the Iraq war? The conclusion that they came to was fascinating. The first point is that Orwell would have supported the invasion as Iraq was easily one of the most brutal totalitarian regimes in the world and there is nothing that Orwell rallied against more than totalitarianism. As someone who has really bought into Orwell’s view of the world that made me rethink my position against the war as my main question has always been the necessity of it.

But they also made one big counter point. Orwell would have raged against the doublespeak and political spin that the Bush administration placed on the conflict. He would have called out all of the half truths and talking points that had no bearing on reality. Orwell could not stand governments that did not speak the truth and he held it as his duty to face unpleasant facts. In the end they almost said that Orwell would have felt that the war was justified but the way that it was justified wasn’t justified.

All this does is make me want to pick up my copy of Animal Farm again. Because all animals are equal; just some animals are more equal than others.