Tuesday, February 01, 2005

More travel stories...

Some very random thoughts…

1) Thanks to the dedicated research of my reader(s), we now know what a barrow and a gilt is. Though I certainly do not remember any of those terms being mentioned in Charlotte’s Web, which is how I learned everything that I know about farm animals. Admittedly, if the concept of barrowing was brought into Charlotte’s Web there would be a whole other level of drama to the story. Anyway, we still have one important question left unanswered, “Why is the state of Missouri so interested in the sexual history of my livestock?”
2) Thinking about Charlotte’s Web, why is it that there are so many classic children stories that end in the most absolutely depressing way possible? Is it just a really nice way of telling an eight year old that life is just a bleak and pointless existence and that any feeling of happiness is just a fleeting moment that is more an imagination of happiness than any true psychological state? It’s like reading nursery tales by Sartre.
3) I’m not sure what is more amazing: the fact that Winter X Games exist or that I will sit around and watch it for hours on end. First of all, I love sports that people made up one afternoon with no discernable way of determining who is better than anyone else. Plus, there is this great Nascar feel to it, since if you’re watching eight snowmobiles doing 100 foot jumps you know that someone is going to end up regretting competing in the morning. Of course, with no hockey this has become ninety percent of ESPN’s schedule.
4) Props to David Letterman for giving a true, heartfelt tribute to Johnny Carson last night. Just a classy way for him to thank someone who made his career. For those of you who missed it, his monologue consisted entirely of jokes that Johnny had sent him over the past few months and much of the rest of the show was just stories. Nothing forced, everything just true and honest. It was really neat to watch.
5) Ok, my creativity is a bit low right now. So, one more travel journal entry before I call it a night…


All right, Swede Hanson:
Irish television is much like British television, up to the point that they just steal the BBC feeds and show them. What this means is limited channel selection, most showing American shows that you have already seen. I usually watched the British Sky News, which is a British CNN. Since I was keeping really odd hours I was never able to catch what would be considered prime time programming. But, the mid afternoon sports programming was fascinating.

See, while in Dublin I was usually in my room at four or five in the afternoon getting ready to go to dinner and all that with some time on my hands. So, since the hotel had Sky Sports that is what I watched. I expected the Tour de France coverage, which was excellent but I had just not been able to get into it. I also watched the touring car races, including ones with big rigs racing down these road courses. If you ever wonder where the footage in the world’s worst car crashes comes from I think this is it. One of the more fascinating things that I watched was the world lawn bowling championship. Apparently, bocce ball is a competitive sport in Australia because there was a crowd for this rather enthralling event. Well, that probably is not the right word for it. Two guys, rolling balls on the ground, with announcers commenting on the style seemed to be the most bizarre thing in the world. Lastly, despite my best effort I still don’t understand cricket. I don’t understand the scoring, or the positions, or all of these graphs which they would put on screen at odd intervals which never seemed to correspond to anything that had happened before or since. At least in rugby you have violence, you might not know who is winning or why but you sure know who is getting the crap knocked out of them.

This leads to the most bizarre thing that happened to me on the entire trip. Monday night, getting ready to go down to dinner and see a play. Flipping around I see a wrestling ring and notice that Rocky Johnson is wrestling. After some quick internal calculations I come to the conclusion that I am watching the WWF circa 1982. Welcome to WWF Classic. Mondays at 5 on Sky Sports. It was a time warp, literally, as I watched Rocky wrestle against some prelim bum. I was sitting there laughing at the crowd which was a couple of rows deep, the Patterson and McMahon announce team, and the sheer fact that this would be a hit in America. For the next match Swede Hanson was wrestling and I had to make a decision, go downstairs and see a play or continue to watch this. Sadly, I can now say that I am an adult because I decided that George Bernard Shaw would be a better choice than whoever would have been in the next match, probably a Samoan or the Iron Sheik.

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