First lines to books I won't write

(Borrowing these from an outside source. Enjoy)

• Michael Kindness slept.
• In the end, as it was in the beginning and is now, I was a sad sack with time and a harmonica.
• Being the last man on earth ain't all it's cracked up to be.
• I keep asking myself, "Self, when am I going to get my wiffle ball back?"
• "Would you like a bag with that?" the clerk asked clerkishly.
• It was not the best of times - not by a long shot, Slappy.
• Captain Picard and Commander Riker emerged from the Holodeck looking rather sour.
• It is inevitable that the experience of knocking Noxzema facial cleansing cream to the bathroom floor reminds one of springtime, and hyacinths.
• Nomar Garciaparra was born on July 23, 1973 in Whittier, California.
• In retrospect, going back in time just to watch the Velvet Underground play at Max's Kansas City was a terrible, terrible idea.
• "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha," he thought.
• On second thought, no.
• Erin!