Quick concert note

(Sorry I am going to try to be quicker today, as I a) am just back from a concert b) have to be at work early tomorrow and c) Blogger just ate my last post so I am now going to try to rewrite the entire thing from memory. I probably shouldn't be writing right now since I am running a meeting at 8:30 in the morning that I'll need to be in early to organize but I know that my faithful reader(s) are more interested in my musings on life than my company is in my performance. So, here we go.)

Saw Big Head Todd and the Monsters on Friday and Social Distortion on Saturday. Same place with both shows being sold out. I'm probably the only person who went to both shows since there really isn't much overlap in the fan base when you think about it. If you add in Lyle Lovett last weekend and Ani Difranco next week I can guarantee you that I am the only person who will be at all of those shows. But anyway, the interesting thing is that at Big Head Todd I just got the crap knocked out of me by the crowd. People elbowing me making their way through the crowd, people spilling beer on me, a woman handing me her empty beer bottle and asking me to throw it out in the garbage can that was half a room away like I was her personal servant, other people bitching that I was standing in front of them and they happened to be a foot shorter than me (grow, it's a simple solution). But at Social Distortion there were people actually apologizing as they made their way past you, saying sorry for stepping on your foot, and just being generally nicers. Which isn't what outsiders would expect from a punk show.

But as one guy said to me at the show, "You really don't look like you belong here." And while I will say that ten years ago I would have looked at least a bit more in touch with the crowd he had his point. I did look like a poseur. It doesn't matter that I have been listening to Social D since the '80s, my look is of someone who is not into this scene at all. And you have to understand, the entire punk population of KC was at this show. I mean literally, they could have wiped out every single pierced and tattooed person in the entire city at once (along with a couple of aging music geeks like myself).

But that's not what is sticking with me. There was a guy standing in front of me with full blown, old school, mutton chop side burns. I mean, the type you see on pictures of Martin Van Buren. And he was there with his girlfriend, who was pretty cute and who seemed to be really cool. And it struck me that if you put this guy and myself side by side and asked random people "Who is more successful?" they would pick me. I have no idea what this guy does for a living but I bet if you look at what people typically think of when they think of success (money, position, etc.) I'd have him beat.

But if you looked at who was more comfortable in their own skin and who was enjoying life more and who was happier this guy would have me beat hands down. And that makes me wonder how most people judge success and how that default view of you need to be this certain way to be successful has to be wrong. Because in my eyes, that guy is more succesful than I am. I feel like a poseur wherever I am. It's more obvious at a Social D show because that is all on the surface. I don't think it is much different at work, there I'm just a monkey in nice clothes. It dawned on me when I got back to my apartment tonight and looked around at my cool setup and realized that I have everything that I could ever want at my fingertips. But I have none of the things that I actually need. And I really think the guy who was standing in front of me is not dealing with that question tonight.

The five random CDs for the week.
1) Iris DeMent "My Life"
2) Cowboy Mouth "All You Need Is Live"
3) The Neville Brothers "Family Groove"
4) The Iguanas "Plastic Silver 9 Volt Heart"
5) The Blacks "Just Like Home"