Here is the nice thing about the Swine Flu. For the first time in my life my obsessive compulsiveness will come in handy. Now I can wash my hands repeatedly and everyone will think that I am just taking extra precautions as opposed to, you know, trying to get rid of the dirt that never seems to wash off. I knew that if I stuck with it long enough eventually it would be proved to be perfectly rational behavior.
It has been a rather long week and I still have one more day in the office to go. It is strange as to just how busy I am seeing that I really don’t do much. I mean, it is not like I am out at the bars every night. In fact, the degree that I go out now compared to when I lived in Kansas City is astounding. I haven’t even made it out to play trivia in weeks. Yet every night seems to be packed even all I seem to do is talk to Kim, watch tv and write. Admittedly, those are some of my favorite things in the world and I look forward to them every day but it is just odd in that they seem to take up the majority of my life.
I guess part of the reason is just the weird area in which I live. Wilmington is just a strange town. For being the largest city in the state and having a rather decent sized downtown there just doesn’t seem to be much to do. I’m sure there is and I just haven’t found it but I still find it odd that I barely pass any fast food restaurants on my way home. Everything that I would like to do always seems to be a fifteen minute drive away and that takes a lot of the fun out of things.
If there is anything that I miss about Kansas City in terms of the town itself it is the fact that I lived in quite possibly the most convenient location possible. I was blocks away from restaurants and bars. Two music clubs that featured national acts were within walking distance. A grocery store was directly across the street. On consecutive nights I could walk to a bar to play trivia and hang out with great friends. The main high end shopping district was a mile away. The only thing that wasn’t within walking distance from my apartment was a Target and a Best Buy. Other than that I could do pretty much anything I wanted without ever having to get into my car.
I guess what I miss is that convenience. I am already planning my list of things to do this weekend because now when I go out it is more of an excursion. I need to know where I am going and what I am going to pick up when I get there because of the time it will take. I have to optimize my trip and on a Saturday I have no desire to be optimizing anything. All I want to do is turn my brain off and just live in the moment. I’m hoping that I will find a way to accomplish that while living here but it has turned into a bigger challenge than I had anticipated.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
We interrupt your regularly scheduled broadcast
8:00 P.M.: And we are coming to you live from the political wing of Battling the Current headquarters for another in the weekly editions of the Barack Obama press conference. For the record, in 100 days we have had three press conferences and one address to congress. That is a little bit of overkill don’t you think? Also, when the president enters the room I would think that instead of Hail to the Chief we should have a funk band playing the president in and out. We need to bring the presidency in to the 21st century.
8:03 P.M.: Yes, your president just reminded you to cover your mouth when you cough. We are also reminded to look both ways before you cross the street, put on a sweater and to remember to wear clean underwear.
8:08 P.M.: It would be nice if someone could explain to me exactly why this hundred day milestone is considered so important. It really is just a random number that is chosen because it happens to be a nice, round number. Sure, it is nice to have a milestone but it really is rather meaningless.
8:10 P.M.: I do love the fact that we are essentially asking whether we should start looting in response to the flu. Hopefully at some point we will be given the official notice to begin panicking. And despite the fact that my company has decided to officially allow us to wear surgical masks in the office (I’m not making that up. I got an email on it this afternoon.) I still don’t think this is the right time. And again, he is telling us to wash our hands.
8:16 P.M.: I still think that we could solve all of Detroit’s problems by adding giant tail fins to all new cars. Wouldn’t you buy a new car if it came with awesome tail fins? And can we add in a pair of fuzzy dice with every new purchase? Either that or one of those Playboy bunny air fresheners.
8:20 P.M.: The torture debate is one of those strange ones in terms of logic. Now I am against torture as I am a firm believer in that the US needs to be based on justice and not vengeance. I also am not entirely sold that torture is very effective in providing information without causing damage on many fronts. But here is the issue. We say torture is wrong. We state that waterboarding is torture. We admit that we waterboarded. But we do not prosecute the people who did so because it was legal at the time. So in essence, torture is illegal unless we say it isn’t. I still haven’t wrapped my head around that one.
8:24 P.M.: When did everyone decide to change the pronunciation of Pakistan. It used to be Pack-istan and now it is Pa-kiss-stan. It’s like the president is trying to sound British or something. I’m more concerned in this matter than in our foreign policy strategy in the region.
8:30 P.M.: For those people who are not from Pennsylvania (or from Delaware after having realized that there is no local news network in the entire state of Delaware) here is the main reason why Arlen Spector switched parties. Arlen is up for reelection in 2010 and in the polls against his likely republican primary opponent he is losing by something like 15 points. It is easier for him to be reelected by changing his party to Democrat without changing the way he would vote on any single issue.
8:34 P.M.: Woo hoo! A Notre Dame shout out! Oh, it is about the commencement speech. As several people have asked me about this as a Notre Dame alum and as a catholic here is my stance on it. I have no issue with Obama speaking and I also have no issue with any of the protests that will occur. I do consider it an honor that the president is speaking at my school as it has been in the past when it has occurred. But I also believe in the power of free speech and the ability to speak your mind. So when Bush spoke there were protests and when Obama speaks there will be protests. It would have been nice if during his answer he would have mentioned Notre Dame at all instead of just providing his campaign spiel.
8:43 P.M.: Swine Flu Fun Fact # 47: Much like Turkey Bacon is the healthy but less tasty version of regular bacon the Turkey Flu will give you many of the same symptoms as the swine flu at a slightly higher cost but in the end you will still feel like something is missing.
8:48 P.M.: Dear God is this boring. After a full day in the office listening to an hour of policy talk is just horrendous. I hate to say this but even I can understand how American Idol would be viewed as more exciting than this. Sure, I’ll take this over another episode of According to Jim but then again I would lose a limb as opposed to have to watch that show again.
8:56 P.M.: Ok, I’m going to call it a night. Remember to drink your orange juice! And for the love of God, floss!
Wednesday Night Music Club: Ok, I must give Comcast credit for listening to my online rants and at least offering to help. That is a level of customer service I was not anticipating. In honor of that I would like to go back to the good old days when we would complain about having 57 channels and nothing on. Now it is more like two hundred but the feelings are still the same.
8:03 P.M.: Yes, your president just reminded you to cover your mouth when you cough. We are also reminded to look both ways before you cross the street, put on a sweater and to remember to wear clean underwear.
8:08 P.M.: It would be nice if someone could explain to me exactly why this hundred day milestone is considered so important. It really is just a random number that is chosen because it happens to be a nice, round number. Sure, it is nice to have a milestone but it really is rather meaningless.
8:10 P.M.: I do love the fact that we are essentially asking whether we should start looting in response to the flu. Hopefully at some point we will be given the official notice to begin panicking. And despite the fact that my company has decided to officially allow us to wear surgical masks in the office (I’m not making that up. I got an email on it this afternoon.) I still don’t think this is the right time. And again, he is telling us to wash our hands.
8:16 P.M.: I still think that we could solve all of Detroit’s problems by adding giant tail fins to all new cars. Wouldn’t you buy a new car if it came with awesome tail fins? And can we add in a pair of fuzzy dice with every new purchase? Either that or one of those Playboy bunny air fresheners.
8:20 P.M.: The torture debate is one of those strange ones in terms of logic. Now I am against torture as I am a firm believer in that the US needs to be based on justice and not vengeance. I also am not entirely sold that torture is very effective in providing information without causing damage on many fronts. But here is the issue. We say torture is wrong. We state that waterboarding is torture. We admit that we waterboarded. But we do not prosecute the people who did so because it was legal at the time. So in essence, torture is illegal unless we say it isn’t. I still haven’t wrapped my head around that one.
8:24 P.M.: When did everyone decide to change the pronunciation of Pakistan. It used to be Pack-istan and now it is Pa-kiss-stan. It’s like the president is trying to sound British or something. I’m more concerned in this matter than in our foreign policy strategy in the region.
8:30 P.M.: For those people who are not from Pennsylvania (or from Delaware after having realized that there is no local news network in the entire state of Delaware) here is the main reason why Arlen Spector switched parties. Arlen is up for reelection in 2010 and in the polls against his likely republican primary opponent he is losing by something like 15 points. It is easier for him to be reelected by changing his party to Democrat without changing the way he would vote on any single issue.
8:34 P.M.: Woo hoo! A Notre Dame shout out! Oh, it is about the commencement speech. As several people have asked me about this as a Notre Dame alum and as a catholic here is my stance on it. I have no issue with Obama speaking and I also have no issue with any of the protests that will occur. I do consider it an honor that the president is speaking at my school as it has been in the past when it has occurred. But I also believe in the power of free speech and the ability to speak your mind. So when Bush spoke there were protests and when Obama speaks there will be protests. It would have been nice if during his answer he would have mentioned Notre Dame at all instead of just providing his campaign spiel.
8:43 P.M.: Swine Flu Fun Fact # 47: Much like Turkey Bacon is the healthy but less tasty version of regular bacon the Turkey Flu will give you many of the same symptoms as the swine flu at a slightly higher cost but in the end you will still feel like something is missing.
8:48 P.M.: Dear God is this boring. After a full day in the office listening to an hour of policy talk is just horrendous. I hate to say this but even I can understand how American Idol would be viewed as more exciting than this. Sure, I’ll take this over another episode of According to Jim but then again I would lose a limb as opposed to have to watch that show again.
8:56 P.M.: Ok, I’m going to call it a night. Remember to drink your orange juice! And for the love of God, floss!
Wednesday Night Music Club: Ok, I must give Comcast credit for listening to my online rants and at least offering to help. That is a level of customer service I was not anticipating. In honor of that I would like to go back to the good old days when we would complain about having 57 channels and nothing on. Now it is more like two hundred but the feelings are still the same.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Plus they won't give me ESPN Classic
Swine Flu Fun Fact # 83: So far the best hope for a cure has come from a rather intelligent spider who is spinning detailed phrases into webs in order to help produce a vaccine. Sadly, due to the length of most medical terminology, the ineffectiveness of web based communication and the fact that we all know that she is just going to die in the end and leave us crying progress has been much slower than was previously anticipated.
I think I need to go on one of my regularly scheduled cable company rants here. Comcast has possibly the most ass backwards system that I have ever seen for a cable company. First off, my On Demand service works only on every other Tuesday, which you think would be a rather pressing issue for them as it prevents me from purchasing wrestling pay per views at my convenience. I’m not going to complain there as it keeps me from wasting my own money. Second, at random intervals the on screen program guide completely fails and every channel suddenly broadcasts “To Be Announced”. Though I have to admit that is a rather adequate description of the programs shown today.
Third, after I reset the program guide (by unplugging the box and restarting it) half the time I find that the program guide is completely inaccurate. There is nothing worse than sitting down, launching a program from your DVR and discovering that all you have done is record an hour of something you have no interest in seeing. Plus, there is no way that they are correct in saying that Obama is addressing the nation again tomorrow. They must be reusing the program guide from two weeks ago.
Finally, their commercials suck. Showing people in a vague Sims like environment singing very poorly. If I wanted to watch the Sims I would turn on my computer. Actually, I wouldn’t as I’ve decided that it is slightly better to live one’s own life than to simulate it on a computer. More importantly though, I’m not sure what Comcast is promoting in these general commercials. It’s not like they are touting one specific product or a new bundle that will create new revenue. They seem to be pushing how awesome they are in an attempt to gain new customers. Problem is they are the cable company so it is not like we have a choice in the matter. I live in an apartment and want cable and high speed internet. I don’t really have any other options so I’d rather you cut ten cents from my bill than show really bad commercials.
I think I need to go on one of my regularly scheduled cable company rants here. Comcast has possibly the most ass backwards system that I have ever seen for a cable company. First off, my On Demand service works only on every other Tuesday, which you think would be a rather pressing issue for them as it prevents me from purchasing wrestling pay per views at my convenience. I’m not going to complain there as it keeps me from wasting my own money. Second, at random intervals the on screen program guide completely fails and every channel suddenly broadcasts “To Be Announced”. Though I have to admit that is a rather adequate description of the programs shown today.
Third, after I reset the program guide (by unplugging the box and restarting it) half the time I find that the program guide is completely inaccurate. There is nothing worse than sitting down, launching a program from your DVR and discovering that all you have done is record an hour of something you have no interest in seeing. Plus, there is no way that they are correct in saying that Obama is addressing the nation again tomorrow. They must be reusing the program guide from two weeks ago.
Finally, their commercials suck. Showing people in a vague Sims like environment singing very poorly. If I wanted to watch the Sims I would turn on my computer. Actually, I wouldn’t as I’ve decided that it is slightly better to live one’s own life than to simulate it on a computer. More importantly though, I’m not sure what Comcast is promoting in these general commercials. It’s not like they are touting one specific product or a new bundle that will create new revenue. They seem to be pushing how awesome they are in an attempt to gain new customers. Problem is they are the cable company so it is not like we have a choice in the matter. I live in an apartment and want cable and high speed internet. I don’t really have any other options so I’d rather you cut ten cents from my bill than show really bad commercials.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Quick! We need to find Rob Lowe and that guy from Coach!
Your Swine Flu Fun Fact # 27: If during the Swine Flu epidemic you begin to have prophetic dreams of a) a kind old African American woman sitting on a porch in Nebraska and b) a man with long hair and piercing black eyes in Las Vegas I would highly recommend making the trip to Nebraska. Mainly because it means you will have the opportunity to make out with Molly Ringwald. Oh, and if you see Kareem Abdul-Jabar with a cardboard sign proclaiming the end of the world I would take that as a sign to start packing.
In reality, as of right now I would view the whole Swine Flu thing with an air of caution. One of the problems with our new environment of constant information is that we now hear the same news stories multiple times a day and as a result we lose our sense of scale. Right now we have a flu outbreak that has proven fatal in Mexico and non-fatal elsewhere. While it seems to spread easily it doesn’t appear to have a high mortality rate. Basically, if it spread easily and had a high mortality rate the numbers from Mexico should be a lot higher. That doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t all be aware of the situation and taking the proper steps to avoid the flu. Just that the world is not going to end at this precise moment.
But given our media fueled lives that is entirely the perception that we are given. It is a top story on all of the websites. News broadcasts feature it as their lead story and the 24 hour news networks talk about it 72 times a day. Your twitter feed is filled with people discussing it (whereas my twitter feed is nonexistent because no matter what anyone says, twitter is idiotic.) Compare this to the Swine Flu fears of the 1970’s. Then all you would do is read about it in the morning paper and get an update by Walter Cronkite in the evening. The screaming heads on television really up the paranoia to an unmistakable degree.
At some point there is such a thing as too much information. Except in this case there isn’t enough information. We are just being fed the same minimal data over and over again in various forms until we stress out to in an inordinate degree. Networks understand that when they flash the Breaking News graphic that it will get your attention even if it is about a story that is of no interest to anyone. Any news regarding Anna Nicole Smith, now or at any time in the past, could never be considered breaking news but it was certainly sold as such. It is what makes us a bit of a slave to our machines. We know that if we fall out of the information loop that we will feel ostracized from the rest of society but we also know that most of the information in the information loop is completely gibberish.
So just keep all of this in mind as you watch the news this week. It is quite possible that there might be a time when worrying is the proper course of action. Right now it isn’t.
In reality, as of right now I would view the whole Swine Flu thing with an air of caution. One of the problems with our new environment of constant information is that we now hear the same news stories multiple times a day and as a result we lose our sense of scale. Right now we have a flu outbreak that has proven fatal in Mexico and non-fatal elsewhere. While it seems to spread easily it doesn’t appear to have a high mortality rate. Basically, if it spread easily and had a high mortality rate the numbers from Mexico should be a lot higher. That doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t all be aware of the situation and taking the proper steps to avoid the flu. Just that the world is not going to end at this precise moment.
But given our media fueled lives that is entirely the perception that we are given. It is a top story on all of the websites. News broadcasts feature it as their lead story and the 24 hour news networks talk about it 72 times a day. Your twitter feed is filled with people discussing it (whereas my twitter feed is nonexistent because no matter what anyone says, twitter is idiotic.) Compare this to the Swine Flu fears of the 1970’s. Then all you would do is read about it in the morning paper and get an update by Walter Cronkite in the evening. The screaming heads on television really up the paranoia to an unmistakable degree.
At some point there is such a thing as too much information. Except in this case there isn’t enough information. We are just being fed the same minimal data over and over again in various forms until we stress out to in an inordinate degree. Networks understand that when they flash the Breaking News graphic that it will get your attention even if it is about a story that is of no interest to anyone. Any news regarding Anna Nicole Smith, now or at any time in the past, could never be considered breaking news but it was certainly sold as such. It is what makes us a bit of a slave to our machines. We know that if we fall out of the information loop that we will feel ostracized from the rest of society but we also know that most of the information in the information loop is completely gibberish.
So just keep all of this in mind as you watch the news this week. It is quite possible that there might be a time when worrying is the proper course of action. Right now it isn’t.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Beware of pork
Have to start off by officially marking the passing of Bea Arthur. Thank you for being a friend.
(For all of the jokes that have been made about the Golden Girls, and lord knows that there are a lot of them, you have to give credit to any show that is still well known nearly twenty years after its heyday. You never hear any references to Barney Miller (well, except in regards to Abe Vigoda’s awesomeness) and even Family Ties has been pushed to the dustbin of history. But mention The Golden Girls to anyone and they will know precisely what you are talking about.)
As for the swine flu outbreak I knew that our love for bacon was going to come back to haunt us eventually. Is it our fault that they are so tasty? I rank this as slightly above allergy season and significantly below zombie apocalypse on the threat level indicator. Mainly the best thing to do right now is practice good hygiene, stay hydrated and keep your machete nearby in case zombies approach. I have said it before and I will say it again: blades don’t need reloading. This will be even more important in the case of an onslaught of zombie pigs.
In other news I spent much of the weekend watching the NFL Draft. That might on the surface sound like a boring way to spend the weekend but given who I was with it went from watching people read names at regularly scheduled interviews to something a bit more transcendent. Ok, it still has a lot of phone book moments where for some reason you are now spending ten minutes of your life intrigued as to the inner workings of a guard from Baylor but it was more fun than it should be. Some random notes from the day:
1) Best description of the draft: The world’s most expensive pick up game
2) I don’t know on what planet Matt Stafford is the number one pick. I didn’t consider him one of the top college quarterbacks last year. Hell, I didn’t even consider him one of the top SEC quarterbacks last year. They describe him as a proven winner but what precisely has Georgia won?
3) I think it should be an official rule that Mark Sanchez always be referred to as “Dirty” Mark Sanchez. To be honest I’m not sure why a professional wrestler hasn’t used that name yet.
4) The only thing worse than being drafted by Seattle is being forced to wear a neon lime green hat moments after you are drafted.
5) This year’s most awkward analyst award goes to Herm Edwards giving advice on the Chief’s draft selection. At some point I would just like him to go, “Well, given that I ran the team into the ground the best thing for them to do is the exact opposite of what I would think.”
Best of 120 Minutes: Hum. Because you have probably already forgotten the words.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Tanya Donnelly “Beautysleep”
2) Scott Miller and the Commonwealth “Thus Always to Tyrants”
3) Son Volt “Okemah and the Melody of Riot”
4) The Subdudes “Live at Last”
5) Amy Farris “Anyway”
(For all of the jokes that have been made about the Golden Girls, and lord knows that there are a lot of them, you have to give credit to any show that is still well known nearly twenty years after its heyday. You never hear any references to Barney Miller (well, except in regards to Abe Vigoda’s awesomeness) and even Family Ties has been pushed to the dustbin of history. But mention The Golden Girls to anyone and they will know precisely what you are talking about.)
As for the swine flu outbreak I knew that our love for bacon was going to come back to haunt us eventually. Is it our fault that they are so tasty? I rank this as slightly above allergy season and significantly below zombie apocalypse on the threat level indicator. Mainly the best thing to do right now is practice good hygiene, stay hydrated and keep your machete nearby in case zombies approach. I have said it before and I will say it again: blades don’t need reloading. This will be even more important in the case of an onslaught of zombie pigs.
In other news I spent much of the weekend watching the NFL Draft. That might on the surface sound like a boring way to spend the weekend but given who I was with it went from watching people read names at regularly scheduled interviews to something a bit more transcendent. Ok, it still has a lot of phone book moments where for some reason you are now spending ten minutes of your life intrigued as to the inner workings of a guard from Baylor but it was more fun than it should be. Some random notes from the day:
1) Best description of the draft: The world’s most expensive pick up game
2) I don’t know on what planet Matt Stafford is the number one pick. I didn’t consider him one of the top college quarterbacks last year. Hell, I didn’t even consider him one of the top SEC quarterbacks last year. They describe him as a proven winner but what precisely has Georgia won?
3) I think it should be an official rule that Mark Sanchez always be referred to as “Dirty” Mark Sanchez. To be honest I’m not sure why a professional wrestler hasn’t used that name yet.
4) The only thing worse than being drafted by Seattle is being forced to wear a neon lime green hat moments after you are drafted.
5) This year’s most awkward analyst award goes to Herm Edwards giving advice on the Chief’s draft selection. At some point I would just like him to go, “Well, given that I ran the team into the ground the best thing for them to do is the exact opposite of what I would think.”
Best of 120 Minutes: Hum. Because you have probably already forgotten the words.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Tanya Donnelly “Beautysleep”
2) Scott Miller and the Commonwealth “Thus Always to Tyrants”
3) Son Volt “Okemah and the Melody of Riot”
4) The Subdudes “Live at Last”
5) Amy Farris “Anyway”
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Welcome to your future. Yes, it's a cubicle.
So today was take your snot nosed brat…I mean take your child to work day. This day always poses a challenge to me as I am significantly lacking in the snot nosed brat department. Well, I am a brat and depending on how my allergies are that day the other portion of that phrase might be applicable but as someone without kids this day always makes me feel weird at the office. It is like I am supposed to go out and rent a family for the occasion. Otherwise I feel as though I am being left out.
This whole take your child to work movement is a rather recent phenomenon starting while I’ve actually been working. I never went with my dad to work to see what his day as an architect was like. To be honest, even when I graduated college I wasn’t entirely sure what working a real job was like. I could never quite understand how you were given assignments or how you ever knew what to do. Now with twelve years of work experience (and a two year hiatus for grad school) I can confidently say that I still have no clue what working a real job is supposed to be like. I still feel like I’m doing it wrong and that one day someone is going to ask me where the electro spanner that all employees are given on their third day is.
So I guess it is a good thing that we show kids what work in the real world is actually like so that they can enter an office without it being a blank space. I can’t blame any parent for taking time out to be with their kid either (though why the purpose is to take them out of school in the process is a little bit counter intuitive). My big issue is that I can’t understand why we want to introduce our children to the mindless drudgery that is our daily life in the office any earlier than we have to.
Now don’t get me wrong, I really enjoy my job. I get to talk about dollars and megawatts and how to best design an electrical grid for the US. I actually consider it to be cooler than being paid to talk about ringtones. But at the end of the day I am spending hour after hour looking at numbers on a computer monitor, drinking overpriced coffee under the glare of fluorescent lights. Halfway through the day I have a hastily prepared lunch or eat preprocessed food that increases my cholesterol by ten points while I am eating it. In the winter I drive to work in the dark and come home in the dark. My new job marks the first time in years that I am able to tell what the weather is like outside while sitting at my desk as opposed to having to get up, walk down a hallway, turn a corner and then look out a window. All in all, I would much rather be a kid and have my afternoons being spent doing whatever I feel like. Sadly, that doesn’t pay nearly as well.
So bring your kids to the office if you feel like it. It’s probably a nice experience. But let the kids be kids. We don’t need to show them what their future holds. Let them think it is still limitless. Much better to be nine years old and dreaming of being an astronaut than realizing that you are destined to be an accountant.
This whole take your child to work movement is a rather recent phenomenon starting while I’ve actually been working. I never went with my dad to work to see what his day as an architect was like. To be honest, even when I graduated college I wasn’t entirely sure what working a real job was like. I could never quite understand how you were given assignments or how you ever knew what to do. Now with twelve years of work experience (and a two year hiatus for grad school) I can confidently say that I still have no clue what working a real job is supposed to be like. I still feel like I’m doing it wrong and that one day someone is going to ask me where the electro spanner that all employees are given on their third day is.
So I guess it is a good thing that we show kids what work in the real world is actually like so that they can enter an office without it being a blank space. I can’t blame any parent for taking time out to be with their kid either (though why the purpose is to take them out of school in the process is a little bit counter intuitive). My big issue is that I can’t understand why we want to introduce our children to the mindless drudgery that is our daily life in the office any earlier than we have to.
Now don’t get me wrong, I really enjoy my job. I get to talk about dollars and megawatts and how to best design an electrical grid for the US. I actually consider it to be cooler than being paid to talk about ringtones. But at the end of the day I am spending hour after hour looking at numbers on a computer monitor, drinking overpriced coffee under the glare of fluorescent lights. Halfway through the day I have a hastily prepared lunch or eat preprocessed food that increases my cholesterol by ten points while I am eating it. In the winter I drive to work in the dark and come home in the dark. My new job marks the first time in years that I am able to tell what the weather is like outside while sitting at my desk as opposed to having to get up, walk down a hallway, turn a corner and then look out a window. All in all, I would much rather be a kid and have my afternoons being spent doing whatever I feel like. Sadly, that doesn’t pay nearly as well.
So bring your kids to the office if you feel like it. It’s probably a nice experience. But let the kids be kids. We don’t need to show them what their future holds. Let them think it is still limitless. Much better to be nine years old and dreaming of being an astronaut than realizing that you are destined to be an accountant.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
And another thing...
I’m not sure what news surprises me more: That Dog the Bounty Hunter was shot at by one of the people he was trying to well not arrest more like apprehend in a forceful manner or that there wasn’t a camera crew there to catch the shooting. Seriously, the only reason anyone knows about the guy is that a camera crew follows him around. Even with that no one really cares. Finally something interesting happens and they miss it. If you shoot at a reality television star and there is no camera there to film it does it make a sound? Guess it depends on whether the guy used a silencer or not.
Also, can someone please explain to me why I would care about what Miss California has to say about anything? To start we are talking about the Miss USA pageant, the low rent cousin of the Miss America pageant. So we aren’t even talking about the real Miss California here. If you want to get a sense of how high end the Miss USA pageant is notice that not only was Perez Hilton a judge so was Eric Trump. I wouldn’t recognize Eric Trump if I passed him on a street corner begging for loose change. Actually, I think I have. But my main point is that we are having this huge media event over a flubbed answer in a competition that no one cares about. The only reason that it has become important is that we are so tired of all the depressing news that we have decided to make this important. I don’t expect that too many people are taking their views on gay marriage or opposite marriage from beauty contestants. So can we please stop talking about it?
Add to that the woman in Britain who sang a song from Les Miserables. So has every single person who has ever tried out for a high school musical and we don’t keep their stories in heavy rotation. That is the most patronizing thing I have ever seen. Ooh, let’s carefully edit something so we can all act surprised when someone who doesn’t look like a model shows that they actually have some talent. We’ll feel good about ourselves for seeing that looks aren’t everything. It’s contrived and downright mean when you think about it.
The fact that all of these stories have made pretty big headlines in the past week (as in becoming featured stories on CNN) gives an indication as to where we are as a culture at the moment. Mainly that we have been so beaten down by bad news that we are now focusing on the trivial just to make it through the day. I wouldn’t even call it uplifting trivia. We just don’t want to hear about the economy or war or strife or anything of that sort. We want to escape the hard news cycle and return to a simpler time. If I was working in Hollywood I would be trying like mad right now to just get some straightforward, funny sitcoms on the air. Some really dumb comedy like Alf. Self aware that it knows that it is dumb but well written enough to be interesting. It would be a huge success. Because what we are looking for right now is an escape.
Wednesday Night Music Club: I think that I have been posting videos for about two years now and I don’t think that I have ever posted a Kasey Chambers song. That surprises me as I just think her voice is amazing. Here is a video that always reminds me of Jackson Square, mainly because I have a feeling that it was filmed there.
Also, can someone please explain to me why I would care about what Miss California has to say about anything? To start we are talking about the Miss USA pageant, the low rent cousin of the Miss America pageant. So we aren’t even talking about the real Miss California here. If you want to get a sense of how high end the Miss USA pageant is notice that not only was Perez Hilton a judge so was Eric Trump. I wouldn’t recognize Eric Trump if I passed him on a street corner begging for loose change. Actually, I think I have. But my main point is that we are having this huge media event over a flubbed answer in a competition that no one cares about. The only reason that it has become important is that we are so tired of all the depressing news that we have decided to make this important. I don’t expect that too many people are taking their views on gay marriage or opposite marriage from beauty contestants. So can we please stop talking about it?
Add to that the woman in Britain who sang a song from Les Miserables. So has every single person who has ever tried out for a high school musical and we don’t keep their stories in heavy rotation. That is the most patronizing thing I have ever seen. Ooh, let’s carefully edit something so we can all act surprised when someone who doesn’t look like a model shows that they actually have some talent. We’ll feel good about ourselves for seeing that looks aren’t everything. It’s contrived and downright mean when you think about it.
The fact that all of these stories have made pretty big headlines in the past week (as in becoming featured stories on CNN) gives an indication as to where we are as a culture at the moment. Mainly that we have been so beaten down by bad news that we are now focusing on the trivial just to make it through the day. I wouldn’t even call it uplifting trivia. We just don’t want to hear about the economy or war or strife or anything of that sort. We want to escape the hard news cycle and return to a simpler time. If I was working in Hollywood I would be trying like mad right now to just get some straightforward, funny sitcoms on the air. Some really dumb comedy like Alf. Self aware that it knows that it is dumb but well written enough to be interesting. It would be a huge success. Because what we are looking for right now is an escape.
Wednesday Night Music Club: I think that I have been posting videos for about two years now and I don’t think that I have ever posted a Kasey Chambers song. That surprises me as I just think her voice is amazing. Here is a video that always reminds me of Jackson Square, mainly because I have a feeling that it was filmed there.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
My random online journey
Here is something random that I just did that I found rather interesting. I ended up searching the University of Illinois’ Electrical Engineering website. Ok, some may wonder just how I would get to that site. I’ll walk through it step by step.
Step 1: Go to Wikipedia in the hope of either a) learning something or b) stumble upon a blog topic.
Step 2: Discover that tomorrow is the 16th anniversary of the release of Mosaic, the first commercially popular web browser that was created on the University of Illinois campus. Now that I think about it, the world wide web was essentially launched in a building I was walking past every single day as it was happening. Occasionally I would even enter the building but have no idea of the significance.
Step 3: After reading the article on Mosaic click to the article on the University and the campus. Discover that a) the legend of the ghost haunting the English building is worthy of Wikipedia, b) the fact that you can stand on a certain spot in front of Foellinger auditorium and have your voice echo back to you three seconds later isn’t and c) apparently they are now saying that the Foreign Language Building was not constructed in the shape of an upside down pyramid for the reason that, in case of a nuclear explosion, the building would collapse outwards and therefore not destroy the mainframe computers in the basement. The poor liberal arts majors standing outside the Foreign Language Building would be left to reflect for those last few moments as to their folly in choosing a liberal arts major. Meanwhile, those like me in Everitt Lab would rest assured that we were in a fallout shelter as we noticed the sign every time we walked to class. Because I don’t know about you, but if I had to choose a place to hole up after nuclear annihilation I would choose an electrical engineering building. But no, the Foreign Language Building was built that way because someone thought it looked cool. Takes all the fun out of it.
Step 4: Discover that the Engineering Campus has its own section on Wikipedia apart from the rest of the campus. React with pride in knowing that even in the land of Wiki those of us who resided North of Green take it upon ourselves to separate our land from the rest of the riff raff on the Illinois campus. I am upset however that no reference is made to the monolith between Everitt Lab and Engineering Hall that housed the time capsule that was placed in honor of the film 2001 due to HAL being born at the University of Illinois. That was probably my favorite random thing on the campus and I never found out what was in the time capsule.
Step 5: Go to the Electrical and Computer Engineering homepage to look at the list of professors and discover that basically everyone who taught me to do my current job is still on staff. A few are retired now but pretty much everyone responsible for the little bit of electrical engineering that I know are all still teaching. I find that rather incredible given that it will be fourteen years next month since I’ve graduated. Shows just how little turnover there is on campus.
I’m really proud of my time as an Illini (even if we are now apparently getting rid of the Sweet Sioux Tomahawk as well. The hell?) I certainly cannot fault my education as an engineer as it is really the foundation for all of my success. Nothing teaches you to think like being taught engineering at Illinois. The discipline and mental toughness required is amazing. I don’t know if I could survive it if you put me through it today. I wasn’t thinking about this when I flipped to Wikipedia this evening but I will be contemplating it as I call it a night.
Step 1: Go to Wikipedia in the hope of either a) learning something or b) stumble upon a blog topic.
Step 2: Discover that tomorrow is the 16th anniversary of the release of Mosaic, the first commercially popular web browser that was created on the University of Illinois campus. Now that I think about it, the world wide web was essentially launched in a building I was walking past every single day as it was happening. Occasionally I would even enter the building but have no idea of the significance.
Step 3: After reading the article on Mosaic click to the article on the University and the campus. Discover that a) the legend of the ghost haunting the English building is worthy of Wikipedia, b) the fact that you can stand on a certain spot in front of Foellinger auditorium and have your voice echo back to you three seconds later isn’t and c) apparently they are now saying that the Foreign Language Building was not constructed in the shape of an upside down pyramid for the reason that, in case of a nuclear explosion, the building would collapse outwards and therefore not destroy the mainframe computers in the basement. The poor liberal arts majors standing outside the Foreign Language Building would be left to reflect for those last few moments as to their folly in choosing a liberal arts major. Meanwhile, those like me in Everitt Lab would rest assured that we were in a fallout shelter as we noticed the sign every time we walked to class. Because I don’t know about you, but if I had to choose a place to hole up after nuclear annihilation I would choose an electrical engineering building. But no, the Foreign Language Building was built that way because someone thought it looked cool. Takes all the fun out of it.
Step 4: Discover that the Engineering Campus has its own section on Wikipedia apart from the rest of the campus. React with pride in knowing that even in the land of Wiki those of us who resided North of Green take it upon ourselves to separate our land from the rest of the riff raff on the Illinois campus. I am upset however that no reference is made to the monolith between Everitt Lab and Engineering Hall that housed the time capsule that was placed in honor of the film 2001 due to HAL being born at the University of Illinois. That was probably my favorite random thing on the campus and I never found out what was in the time capsule.
Step 5: Go to the Electrical and Computer Engineering homepage to look at the list of professors and discover that basically everyone who taught me to do my current job is still on staff. A few are retired now but pretty much everyone responsible for the little bit of electrical engineering that I know are all still teaching. I find that rather incredible given that it will be fourteen years next month since I’ve graduated. Shows just how little turnover there is on campus.
I’m really proud of my time as an Illini (even if we are now apparently getting rid of the Sweet Sioux Tomahawk as well. The hell?) I certainly cannot fault my education as an engineer as it is really the foundation for all of my success. Nothing teaches you to think like being taught engineering at Illinois. The discipline and mental toughness required is amazing. I don’t know if I could survive it if you put me through it today. I wasn’t thinking about this when I flipped to Wikipedia this evening but I will be contemplating it as I call it a night.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Really, what is your sign?
A few weeks ago of friend of mine requested my assistance with their eHarmony account. They had just joined the service and needed some advice as to what questions do you ask someone that you have just met online and are trying to determine if they are relationship (or at least meet for a drink) worthy. For the record: No, I do not, nor have I ever had, an eHarmony account. After the speed dating debacle I will be forever grateful if I never have to undergo such an experience again. Plus, I would change my Facebook relationship status but “luckiest man on the planet” is not one of the choices. It should be, though.
Anyway, while struggling to think of small talk conversation that would be applicable it dawned on me that there has to be lists of questions on the internet. Thanks to google and various sites here are some recommended questions to ask on a first date. And I am making none of these up.
Were you usually the dumper and the dumpee in your past relationships?: Because it is always good to set the stage for the inevitable failure right away. Plus, if they are always the dumpee it means you have free reign for a while.
Have you ever had your heart broken?: I’ve seen this question on several sites. For the life of me, I have no idea why you would ask this on a first date. It’s basically saying “Tell me about the worst moment in your life. Provide details, please.”
What is the biggest mistake that people make on the first date?: Great question actually as you have the other person tell you what not to do. On the other hand, if her answer is “Read off a list of questions that you had printed out from the internet” you are probably in serious trouble.
What career or school risks that you have taken that have turned out successfully?: There is always a danger when you look at these prepared questions. Mainly that they resemble the same questions that you would see in a potential job interview. Seriously, would you be surprised if an HR person asked you this question? This becomes an even bigger problem when you actually have been interviewing for jobs because suddenly all your answers become HR ready even though you have downed six tequila shooters.
If you were in a white room surrounded by people dressed in white, what three emotions would you feel and why?: This was taken from a list called “funny first date questions.” I’m not sure where the funny part comes from. This is a wonderful way to determine if the person across from you is open to joining a cult though so it does have that going for it.
Where’s Waldo?: This would be considered cute and possibly funny anywhere except Kansas City. There you would most likely be given a set of directions.
Describe your fighting style: Drunken Master or Angry Monkey?: It is quite possible that this one would get a reaction. In fact, if you got a positive reaction from it I could almost assure you that things would go very well. However, if you get a quizzical look followed by the expression that reads “this guy is the biggest geek I have ever seen” (an expression that I am vaguely familiar with) then you can pretty much bank on it being an early night.
Have you ever cheated in a relationship?: Again, these questions are coming from actual lists I found online. Somehow I have a feeling that grilling someone on their tendency to cheat in a relationship within the first five minutes of the date will result in their never being a chance to find out if they would cheat in this relationship.
Ever been in any legal trouble?: This should be followed up by the classic “What distance do you feel is appropriate for a restraining order?”
Feel free to use these in your next romantic encounter. Or you could always go with my favorite question: “Who is your favorite Muppet?” I don’t care what anyone else thinks, I still believe that it is a wonderful opener. Mystery would back me up on this.
Anyway, while struggling to think of small talk conversation that would be applicable it dawned on me that there has to be lists of questions on the internet. Thanks to google and various sites here are some recommended questions to ask on a first date. And I am making none of these up.
Were you usually the dumper and the dumpee in your past relationships?: Because it is always good to set the stage for the inevitable failure right away. Plus, if they are always the dumpee it means you have free reign for a while.
Have you ever had your heart broken?: I’ve seen this question on several sites. For the life of me, I have no idea why you would ask this on a first date. It’s basically saying “Tell me about the worst moment in your life. Provide details, please.”
What is the biggest mistake that people make on the first date?: Great question actually as you have the other person tell you what not to do. On the other hand, if her answer is “Read off a list of questions that you had printed out from the internet” you are probably in serious trouble.
What career or school risks that you have taken that have turned out successfully?: There is always a danger when you look at these prepared questions. Mainly that they resemble the same questions that you would see in a potential job interview. Seriously, would you be surprised if an HR person asked you this question? This becomes an even bigger problem when you actually have been interviewing for jobs because suddenly all your answers become HR ready even though you have downed six tequila shooters.
If you were in a white room surrounded by people dressed in white, what three emotions would you feel and why?: This was taken from a list called “funny first date questions.” I’m not sure where the funny part comes from. This is a wonderful way to determine if the person across from you is open to joining a cult though so it does have that going for it.
Where’s Waldo?: This would be considered cute and possibly funny anywhere except Kansas City. There you would most likely be given a set of directions.
Describe your fighting style: Drunken Master or Angry Monkey?: It is quite possible that this one would get a reaction. In fact, if you got a positive reaction from it I could almost assure you that things would go very well. However, if you get a quizzical look followed by the expression that reads “this guy is the biggest geek I have ever seen” (an expression that I am vaguely familiar with) then you can pretty much bank on it being an early night.
Have you ever cheated in a relationship?: Again, these questions are coming from actual lists I found online. Somehow I have a feeling that grilling someone on their tendency to cheat in a relationship within the first five minutes of the date will result in their never being a chance to find out if they would cheat in this relationship.
Ever been in any legal trouble?: This should be followed up by the classic “What distance do you feel is appropriate for a restraining order?”
Feel free to use these in your next romantic encounter. Or you could always go with my favorite question: “Who is your favorite Muppet?” I don’t care what anyone else thinks, I still believe that it is a wonderful opener. Mystery would back me up on this.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Where do you dream of
Yay! I have finally broken down and purchased a laptop stand. My carpal tunnel strained wrists are very grateful at this development and I finally seem to be hitting the right keys when I type. I don’t actually have carpal tunnel but over the past few years my hands have had a few more aches and pains than they have had in the past. Part of me thinks that this is just a part of growing old and soon I will be complaining about my arthritis and yelling at kids to get off my lawn. Another part of me wonders just what all my years sitting at a computer will result in years down the line. I’m not sure which answer I prefer.
On another note, I have been just having these absolutely bizarre dreams recently. It is rather strange. I went a few weeks where I wasn’t remembering my dreams and that is never a good sign. I’ve read about how important it is to be aware of your dreams and when you don’t it means that your mind is working on something big. Well, I seem to have broken through that logjam and have been having these big, vivid dreams every night and one of them I want to discuss.
(Yes, I know that reading other people’s descriptions of their dreams is the equivalent of looking at someone else’s baby pictures. It might technically be interesting but the other person is much more invested in the moment than you are. Look at it this way, in this case I won’t have an issue if you decide to post a comment saying that the baby is of below average attractiveness.)
Not surprisingly, one of the dreams took place in a bar. Given my lifestyle that would be a pretty typical environment for me to find myself. What really interests me is that I constantly dream about this bar and yet I have never been there in reality. Meaning I don’t dream of bars that I actually spent a huge portion of my life in. I don’t dream about the Backer or Harry’s. I dream about this unnamed bar where I am seemingly a regular and on great terms with the staff.
I could draw up a floor plan for this place. They have this little outdoor bar out back, really not much bigger than the bar setup that my grandparents’ had in their basement (it was a fun environment to grow up in). When I hang out there in my dreams I find myself talking to the staff. When I go inside I am in this multi-level establishment that usually has a small but dedicated crowd. Occasionally there are bean bag chairs to give it a seventies vibe. Every time I dream of it I know that it is the same place but I know that it isn’t real. I’ve just been visiting it for the past year or so.
Does anyone else have this? Are there places that you dream about that do not exist outside of your own imagination that you constantly visit? I find it fascinating that my subconscious will create this place to work things out and return to it months after I first dreamed of it. I used to have a similar dream as a kid but recently I have had more of a dream world that I find myself in. Things aren’t as random as they used to be. There seems to be an actual setting. I have no idea what this might mean, it could just be my rational mind trying to find meaning where there is none, but I’d really like to know if it is common or not.
Best of 120 Minutes: Heard Elvis Costello on Prairie Home Companion this weekend so I thought that it would be good to go with some old school Elvis. If your king is dead, try ours.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Cowboy Mouth “Mercyland”
2) Steve Earle “Essential Steve Earle”
3) Alejamdro Escovedo “Real Animal”
4) Allison Moorer “The Hardest Part”
5) Moby “Play”
On another note, I have been just having these absolutely bizarre dreams recently. It is rather strange. I went a few weeks where I wasn’t remembering my dreams and that is never a good sign. I’ve read about how important it is to be aware of your dreams and when you don’t it means that your mind is working on something big. Well, I seem to have broken through that logjam and have been having these big, vivid dreams every night and one of them I want to discuss.
(Yes, I know that reading other people’s descriptions of their dreams is the equivalent of looking at someone else’s baby pictures. It might technically be interesting but the other person is much more invested in the moment than you are. Look at it this way, in this case I won’t have an issue if you decide to post a comment saying that the baby is of below average attractiveness.)
Not surprisingly, one of the dreams took place in a bar. Given my lifestyle that would be a pretty typical environment for me to find myself. What really interests me is that I constantly dream about this bar and yet I have never been there in reality. Meaning I don’t dream of bars that I actually spent a huge portion of my life in. I don’t dream about the Backer or Harry’s. I dream about this unnamed bar where I am seemingly a regular and on great terms with the staff.
I could draw up a floor plan for this place. They have this little outdoor bar out back, really not much bigger than the bar setup that my grandparents’ had in their basement (it was a fun environment to grow up in). When I hang out there in my dreams I find myself talking to the staff. When I go inside I am in this multi-level establishment that usually has a small but dedicated crowd. Occasionally there are bean bag chairs to give it a seventies vibe. Every time I dream of it I know that it is the same place but I know that it isn’t real. I’ve just been visiting it for the past year or so.
Does anyone else have this? Are there places that you dream about that do not exist outside of your own imagination that you constantly visit? I find it fascinating that my subconscious will create this place to work things out and return to it months after I first dreamed of it. I used to have a similar dream as a kid but recently I have had more of a dream world that I find myself in. Things aren’t as random as they used to be. There seems to be an actual setting. I have no idea what this might mean, it could just be my rational mind trying to find meaning where there is none, but I’d really like to know if it is common or not.
Best of 120 Minutes: Heard Elvis Costello on Prairie Home Companion this weekend so I thought that it would be good to go with some old school Elvis. If your king is dead, try ours.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Cowboy Mouth “Mercyland”
2) Steve Earle “Essential Steve Earle”
3) Alejamdro Escovedo “Real Animal”
4) Allison Moorer “The Hardest Part”
5) Moby “Play”
Thursday, April 16, 2009
We need less zeros and more ones
Here is your sign that Wikipedia has gone beyond being the storehouse for all of human knowledge and has now become the resting place for things you didn’t even know existed. Bacon Mania has its own, rather detailed, entry. Not bacon mind you, which certainly deserves a well documented entry, but people’s obsession with bacon. I believe that this marks the inclusion of everything that is ever needed to the internet. I might as well just stop posting. I won’t, of course, but even I’ll admit that it might no longer be necessary from a global enlightenment standpoint.
That is one of the interesting things about the world right now; we really do have all the knowledge on any subject that you would ever need to have right at your fingertips. If I needed song lyrics from a one hit wonder in 1991 I could find them online. If I needed a listing of the match results from an episode of Raw in 1994 I could find them (as well as a full description of the show along with ratings of every single match). Pretty much every piece of information that I could possibly desire is there for me and everyone else in the world.
The thing is I don’t know if that has made us better as people. For one thing, the signal to noise ratio is absolutely horrible. Part of that is the fact that there is so much trivia out there that even I can’t find what is important. Not that I am dissing trivia, as we all know it is pretty much my favorite thing in the world, but it is tough to analyze what is important in life when you know you could read a Thundercats fan page instead. There is just so much information out there that you can’t find what is important. And even then there are so many conflicting opinions that there is no way to judge what is right. That is the confounding thing about Wiki. The entry is simply what the last person who edited it decided it should be. No guarantees on right or wrong. We just all accept what someone else writes as the truth.
That has to sound strange coming from a blogger. All I’ve done for years is sit down and write whatever is on my mind night after night. I always wonder what people from around the world think when they come to this page. To be honest, I can never figure out how they find it in the first place. But even I would consider this blog to be more noise than signal on the grand scheme of things. Sure, I hope that it is funny and informative and at least a great source of free entertainment but I am not providing the secret to enlightenment here. I’m more interested in discussing who Lindsay Lohan is dating at the moment.
And at the end of the day that is the power and the horror of the internet. We create this tool that can change all of civilization and all we do with it is discuss celebrities and post pictures of celebrities taken from angles that are not humanly possible. (Did you see the Jessica Simpson pictures? Was the photographer lying on the ground as Jessica walked over him?) And at the end of the day that is what most of us want to use the internet for. We are not looking to become more advanced or more attuned, we just want to be entertained. Maybe it is the healthy reaction to being faced with all the information that one can ever fathom. There is just so much data, so many nuggets of information that would make your head spin and question your entire world view, that instead of confront it you turn away and focus on gossip. Because we want simple and fluff.
I’m not saying that we should all use the internet to become philosophers. I certainly am not giving up my celebrity gossip sites. I just think that maybe we are all missing something deeper here. Even to the point that it might be better for all of us to unplug and reset for a little bit. Step out of the data stream and refocus.
That is one of the interesting things about the world right now; we really do have all the knowledge on any subject that you would ever need to have right at your fingertips. If I needed song lyrics from a one hit wonder in 1991 I could find them online. If I needed a listing of the match results from an episode of Raw in 1994 I could find them (as well as a full description of the show along with ratings of every single match). Pretty much every piece of information that I could possibly desire is there for me and everyone else in the world.
The thing is I don’t know if that has made us better as people. For one thing, the signal to noise ratio is absolutely horrible. Part of that is the fact that there is so much trivia out there that even I can’t find what is important. Not that I am dissing trivia, as we all know it is pretty much my favorite thing in the world, but it is tough to analyze what is important in life when you know you could read a Thundercats fan page instead. There is just so much information out there that you can’t find what is important. And even then there are so many conflicting opinions that there is no way to judge what is right. That is the confounding thing about Wiki. The entry is simply what the last person who edited it decided it should be. No guarantees on right or wrong. We just all accept what someone else writes as the truth.
That has to sound strange coming from a blogger. All I’ve done for years is sit down and write whatever is on my mind night after night. I always wonder what people from around the world think when they come to this page. To be honest, I can never figure out how they find it in the first place. But even I would consider this blog to be more noise than signal on the grand scheme of things. Sure, I hope that it is funny and informative and at least a great source of free entertainment but I am not providing the secret to enlightenment here. I’m more interested in discussing who Lindsay Lohan is dating at the moment.
And at the end of the day that is the power and the horror of the internet. We create this tool that can change all of civilization and all we do with it is discuss celebrities and post pictures of celebrities taken from angles that are not humanly possible. (Did you see the Jessica Simpson pictures? Was the photographer lying on the ground as Jessica walked over him?) And at the end of the day that is what most of us want to use the internet for. We are not looking to become more advanced or more attuned, we just want to be entertained. Maybe it is the healthy reaction to being faced with all the information that one can ever fathom. There is just so much data, so many nuggets of information that would make your head spin and question your entire world view, that instead of confront it you turn away and focus on gossip. Because we want simple and fluff.
I’m not saying that we should all use the internet to become philosophers. I certainly am not giving up my celebrity gossip sites. I just think that maybe we are all missing something deeper here. Even to the point that it might be better for all of us to unplug and reset for a little bit. Step out of the data stream and refocus.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
The Taxman Cometh
It’s 10:30. Do you know where your tax forms are? Are you currently on a plane heading west just to gain an extra hour or two of time to file? Or are you coming to the conclusion that taxes are for little people and just simply not paying any this year?
Two interesting things about Tax Day this year. First off, it is getting much more coverage than it has in past years. Now with the economy in the shape that it is in this is to be expected. Having to pony up additional dollars at a time when many are just scraping by would make for a good news story. But the stories haven’t been about the tedium of filling out the forms or the potential hardship of having to pay additional taxes. It is this almost despair over the fact that it is now tax time as if we do not go through this exact same process year after year. True, times are tighter than before but we don’t have to treat today with the same seriousness as when the asteroid is about to smash into the planet.
The other thing that is bothering me are all of these tea party protests. I am not bothered by the idea behind the protests. If people want to complain that their taxes are too high then that is their right. I just hope they keep in mind how much they appreciate clean water, working sewer systems, snow removal, a standing military, park rangers wearing funny hats and Tang. (I’m talking about the preferred drink of astronauts. Get your mind out of the gutter.) Yes, some of your tax dollars may be wasted but not all of them are. Also, if there is a stage, a camera crew and Ted Nugent present it really can’t be considered a grass roots protest. It means someone spent a good amount of money to organize.
Actually my biggest issue with the whole thing is that it results in straight faced newsmen to say things like “The American populace has expressed their desire to teabag the White House.” I for one have no desire to have that image emblazoned in my mind.
I guess I don’t have too many issues with taxes. Yes, we pay too much but that is one of the prices we pay to live in a society like ours. Despite what anyone thinks we don’t live and have never lived in a truly capitalist society. If we did there would be people running at me with pitchforks every moment of the day. Instead we pay a fee for someone to keep the streets clean, the trains running on time and everyone at a pre-determined base level of happiness. The process could be made easier and it would sure be nice if I didn’t have to file in four states like I did this year but at the end of the day it is like flossing. You need to do it and if you don’t some day you are going to have to undergo a very painful procedure.
Wednesday Night Music Club: Since I’ve been listening to him here is some Lyle Lovett to either end or start the day on the right note. Just depends on when you read the page I guess.
Two interesting things about Tax Day this year. First off, it is getting much more coverage than it has in past years. Now with the economy in the shape that it is in this is to be expected. Having to pony up additional dollars at a time when many are just scraping by would make for a good news story. But the stories haven’t been about the tedium of filling out the forms or the potential hardship of having to pay additional taxes. It is this almost despair over the fact that it is now tax time as if we do not go through this exact same process year after year. True, times are tighter than before but we don’t have to treat today with the same seriousness as when the asteroid is about to smash into the planet.
The other thing that is bothering me are all of these tea party protests. I am not bothered by the idea behind the protests. If people want to complain that their taxes are too high then that is their right. I just hope they keep in mind how much they appreciate clean water, working sewer systems, snow removal, a standing military, park rangers wearing funny hats and Tang. (I’m talking about the preferred drink of astronauts. Get your mind out of the gutter.) Yes, some of your tax dollars may be wasted but not all of them are. Also, if there is a stage, a camera crew and Ted Nugent present it really can’t be considered a grass roots protest. It means someone spent a good amount of money to organize.
Actually my biggest issue with the whole thing is that it results in straight faced newsmen to say things like “The American populace has expressed their desire to teabag the White House.” I for one have no desire to have that image emblazoned in my mind.
I guess I don’t have too many issues with taxes. Yes, we pay too much but that is one of the prices we pay to live in a society like ours. Despite what anyone thinks we don’t live and have never lived in a truly capitalist society. If we did there would be people running at me with pitchforks every moment of the day. Instead we pay a fee for someone to keep the streets clean, the trains running on time and everyone at a pre-determined base level of happiness. The process could be made easier and it would sure be nice if I didn’t have to file in four states like I did this year but at the end of the day it is like flossing. You need to do it and if you don’t some day you are going to have to undergo a very painful procedure.
Wednesday Night Music Club: Since I’ve been listening to him here is some Lyle Lovett to either end or start the day on the right note. Just depends on when you read the page I guess.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
I wonder how she answered the test....
(Note: I had originally posted the Embed code for the Lindsay video here. However, it made my blog page all wonky so I've had to pull it. Go to www.funnyordie.com for the full clip. Tell Starzan that I sent you and would like a featured spot on the site.)
I have to give a shout out and a big thank you to my good friends at Funny or Die for creating this piece of internet genius. Yes, it is just my luck that right after I get a girlfriend My Beloved Lindsay decides to starts placing personal ads. I mean, now I could meet her without even having to get dressed. Oh well, guess that is the price that I will have to pay in order to spend every day with a smile on my face.
(Though really Lindsay, I say this from the bottom of my cold, black heart, have a sandwich. Go to Subway and pick up a five dollar footlong. There is such a thing as too skinny and you went beyond it. Also, to the marketing team at Funny or Die. Where is my syndication deal? I was promised a syndication deal.)
Going back to last night’s post. Not sure if people have ever noticed this but pretty much the last thing I do is try to come up with a witty title for the post. It is why they always tend to be non sequitors. The title is often the last thing between me and a night’s sleep. So last night’s idea of a television show called “Sugar Daddy” was just a spur of the moment idea.
However, the more I thought about it the more I realized that is exactly what “The Cougar” would be like if held in reverse. Let’s say we take a 40 or 45 year old guy who is most likely graying and getting a little fatter in the mid section. Not that he would look bad or anything, he would actually look quite sophisticated in a suit, but he would certainly look like someone’s cool dad if he was at a college bar. Now let’s have twenty young women, none older than 23, compete for his affection. Including getting drunk in a hot tub, flirts over glasses of champagne and a few make out sessions. What do you think the reaction to this show would be? Even if it was called something more mundane like “The Silver Fox?”
For some reason I would expect there to be a pretty sizable outrage regarding even the idea of the show. Young women being taken advantage for the benefit of an older man, especially if the sugar daddy aspect is taken into account, just seems to be something that really goes against a lot of standards. I could see protests against such a show especially if you played up the baser instincts of it.
Which is interesting given that we don’t care at all about any of the other reality shows and what type of image that provides or what we feel it might do for the contestants. Does anyone show concern that the contestants on The Rock of Love Bus may not be exhibiting the basic feminist ideals? Or that appearing on Tila Tequila may be something that might cause a slight issue in future job interviews? I think we are all amazed at what people will give up for just a few moments of fame. Except that it is not even fame. It is a few minutes on a basic cable channel in exchange for your pride and self-worth. There are more than enough people who are willing to make that trade and it amazes me.
I have to give a shout out and a big thank you to my good friends at Funny or Die for creating this piece of internet genius. Yes, it is just my luck that right after I get a girlfriend My Beloved Lindsay decides to starts placing personal ads. I mean, now I could meet her without even having to get dressed. Oh well, guess that is the price that I will have to pay in order to spend every day with a smile on my face.
(Though really Lindsay, I say this from the bottom of my cold, black heart, have a sandwich. Go to Subway and pick up a five dollar footlong. There is such a thing as too skinny and you went beyond it. Also, to the marketing team at Funny or Die. Where is my syndication deal? I was promised a syndication deal.)
Going back to last night’s post. Not sure if people have ever noticed this but pretty much the last thing I do is try to come up with a witty title for the post. It is why they always tend to be non sequitors. The title is often the last thing between me and a night’s sleep. So last night’s idea of a television show called “Sugar Daddy” was just a spur of the moment idea.
However, the more I thought about it the more I realized that is exactly what “The Cougar” would be like if held in reverse. Let’s say we take a 40 or 45 year old guy who is most likely graying and getting a little fatter in the mid section. Not that he would look bad or anything, he would actually look quite sophisticated in a suit, but he would certainly look like someone’s cool dad if he was at a college bar. Now let’s have twenty young women, none older than 23, compete for his affection. Including getting drunk in a hot tub, flirts over glasses of champagne and a few make out sessions. What do you think the reaction to this show would be? Even if it was called something more mundane like “The Silver Fox?”
For some reason I would expect there to be a pretty sizable outrage regarding even the idea of the show. Young women being taken advantage for the benefit of an older man, especially if the sugar daddy aspect is taken into account, just seems to be something that really goes against a lot of standards. I could see protests against such a show especially if you played up the baser instincts of it.
Which is interesting given that we don’t care at all about any of the other reality shows and what type of image that provides or what we feel it might do for the contestants. Does anyone show concern that the contestants on The Rock of Love Bus may not be exhibiting the basic feminist ideals? Or that appearing on Tila Tequila may be something that might cause a slight issue in future job interviews? I think we are all amazed at what people will give up for just a few moments of fame. Except that it is not even fame. It is a few minutes on a basic cable channel in exchange for your pride and self-worth. There are more than enough people who are willing to make that trade and it amazes me.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Working on my pitch for "Sugar Daddy"
Have a couple of completely unrelated points to make tonight so I will just go about them in no particular order.
Point # 1: Let’s say for a moment that you are pitching a new reality television dating show. On this show you will have a number of young men compete for the love of an ox attractive older woman. You set it up in much the same way as The Bachelor allowing the older woman to say things like “I have a son who is older than you” and “I feel like a kid in a candy store.” Now your first big question is what will you call this show?
For all of you who said, “The Cougar”, congratulations. You are qualified to be a reality television producer. If you answered “Milf on the Prowl” I’ll give you points for creativity.
Now comes the tougher question. What network do you air “The Cougar” on?
VH1? Wrong. Spike TV? Incorrect. Fox Reality Channel? No, you want people to actually watch the show.
If you answered “TV Land” then feel free to move to Los Angeles.
Yes, I am making none of this up. Starting in a few weeks “The Cougar” will be airing on TV Land. Now I can understand the idea behind the show. Yes it makes me die a little inside but every dating show outside of The Pick Up Artist makes me feel that way. No, I am just baffled as to how TV Land, previously your home for Green Acres reruns, is considered to be the best home for this programming. And you know what, I guarantee it will be the highest rated show they’ve ever had.
Point # 2: I would like to wish everyone a Happy Dyngus Day while I still have time. For those who are wondering: no, I did not start the day by following the tradition of sneaking into the bedroom of the woman I fancy, pouring water on her head, and then hit her across the shins with a willow branch. Mainly because I would like the woman I fancy to refrain from filing a restraining order or seeking revenge of a higher order.
(I’m not making that up. Look it up in Wikipedia. Courting rituals take many shapes and forms. I just don’t know many that involve buckets of water.)
Point # 3: We had another deaths come in threes today. We lost Harry Kallas, the voice of your Philadelphia Phillies, Mark “The Bird” Fydrich, the legenday free spirit / pitcher for the Detroit Tigers and Marilyn Chambers, the former Ivory Snow girl who became well known for, uh, movies that you could rent in the back room of the video store. Somehow I have a feeling that St. Peter is having a long day sorting this group out.
Point # 1: Let’s say for a moment that you are pitching a new reality television dating show. On this show you will have a number of young men compete for the love of an ox attractive older woman. You set it up in much the same way as The Bachelor allowing the older woman to say things like “I have a son who is older than you” and “I feel like a kid in a candy store.” Now your first big question is what will you call this show?
For all of you who said, “The Cougar”, congratulations. You are qualified to be a reality television producer. If you answered “Milf on the Prowl” I’ll give you points for creativity.
Now comes the tougher question. What network do you air “The Cougar” on?
VH1? Wrong. Spike TV? Incorrect. Fox Reality Channel? No, you want people to actually watch the show.
If you answered “TV Land” then feel free to move to Los Angeles.
Yes, I am making none of this up. Starting in a few weeks “The Cougar” will be airing on TV Land. Now I can understand the idea behind the show. Yes it makes me die a little inside but every dating show outside of The Pick Up Artist makes me feel that way. No, I am just baffled as to how TV Land, previously your home for Green Acres reruns, is considered to be the best home for this programming. And you know what, I guarantee it will be the highest rated show they’ve ever had.
Point # 2: I would like to wish everyone a Happy Dyngus Day while I still have time. For those who are wondering: no, I did not start the day by following the tradition of sneaking into the bedroom of the woman I fancy, pouring water on her head, and then hit her across the shins with a willow branch. Mainly because I would like the woman I fancy to refrain from filing a restraining order or seeking revenge of a higher order.
(I’m not making that up. Look it up in Wikipedia. Courting rituals take many shapes and forms. I just don’t know many that involve buckets of water.)
Point # 3: We had another deaths come in threes today. We lost Harry Kallas, the voice of your Philadelphia Phillies, Mark “The Bird” Fydrich, the legenday free spirit / pitcher for the Detroit Tigers and Marilyn Chambers, the former Ivory Snow girl who became well known for, uh, movies that you could rent in the back room of the video store. Somehow I have a feeling that St. Peter is having a long day sorting this group out.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Mind your online manners
Without laws we have anarchy. I don’t care what anyone says in that if we are all placed on an island paradise that we would naturally live in harmony. In that case it is only a matter of time before we all gang up on the fat kid with glasses. This is as true in the online world as in reality. Hence, I feel that it is my duty to set up some ground rules for proper Facebook usage.
Now I’ve been on Facebook for a little more than a year now after fleeing MySpace due to an abundance of friend requests from half naked women who were rather enthusiastic in my meeting them via their webcam at an acceptable rate. And I have to say that I was a huge fan of Facebook last year especially given that I was unemployed for most of it. At the start every single person on my friend list was someone that I actually knew well. As time passed I started having people from high school find me and that was rather cool to start. But then suddenly more and more of my past became a part of my friend list. People who I haven’t spoken to in twenty years, people who weren’t my friends when I actually knew them, heck, people I don’t think I actually ever knew are now all part of my online life. And thanks to Facebook I get to hear about every single thing they ever do.
So for the sanity of myself and others I would like to propose the following rules regarding proper Facebook etiquette.
Rule # 1: No one cares about the quiz you just took: For the love of God, I really could care less what Breakfast Club character you are most like, or when some internet program says that you are going to die or any other stupid quiz that you are taking and then telling me about. Not only is it not telling me anything about you but it is making me think less of you as a human being. See, instead of determining who you are through reflection and introspection you are relying on badly phrased internet quizzes with a pop culture glaze. After a certain age (meaning anyone who is not technically a sixteen year old girl) you should not be taking these quizzes and certainly not discussing them in public. It just shows that you have nothing better to do with your free time.
Rule # 2: I care slightly more about your top five but not much: I actually can find it interesting when people list their five favorite movies or tv shows or sport teams. I have that in my profile and can’t blame others for doing it as well. However, if you are going to unleash your top five on the rest of your friend list please actually list five distinct items. If you are going to list your five favorite sports teams and list the Cubs for all of them I am going to have negative feelings towards you due to a) your lack of creativity and b) your support of a bad franchise.
Rule # 3: If you are going to write a note, write an actual note: This has actually died down in recent weeks now that the 25 Random Things meme has run its course. I still however see people filling out strange online forms and forwarding it to everyone else in an attempt to blog without doing any of the actual work. See, writing notes is meant to be a substitute for writing a blog and those of us in the blogging community like to have standards. Not very high, as anyone who has followed this site for the four and a half years it has been running will surely know, but we do have standards. Just be yourself and write what you are thinking and what you want to express. It is much more interesting than whatever quiz you are filling out. That is why the 25 Random Things were interesting; you had to actually think for a minute before writing them.
Rule # 4: If you wouldn’t recognize me if I passed you on the street, don’t tag me in a picture: I put this rule in due to the fact that I spent a portion of last week looking at a coworker’s pictures from her senior prom. I wasn’t searching these out; they were actually on my Facebook front page. She didn’t post them but she was tagged in them. Everyone needs to remember that your social circle on Facebook contains friends and family and coworkers and more than a few bosses. It is rather disconcerting to know that everyone you know can see what you looked like at a time in your life that you would rather forget. So think before you tag.
Rule # 5: Facebook status updates should either be informative or funny: Meaning I want to either a) know what you are doing right now or b) get a chuckle out of your one liner. I do not want to hear about your political leanings or deal with profanity laden tirades. Again, some of us are on Facebook at work so watch the language. I do my best to aim for pun laden humor and if you are going to force others to know about every moment of your life you should at least make it interesting. Caveat: promoting your blog is always acceptable on Facebook especially in an effort to get one more comment on your page.
Just five rules. Please abide by them or otherwise Facebook will become Friendster in six months. I think it is already on its way there.
Your musical selection for the night: Typically I do Best of 120 Minutes here but this song is so awesome that I have to post it now. Jack White is beginning to sell me on his genius.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) The Drovers “Kill Mice Elf”
2) Veruca Salt “American Thighs”
3) Bruce Springsteen “Human Touch”
4) Uncle Tupelo “89/93 An Anthology”
5) Lyle Lovett “I Love Everybody”
Now I’ve been on Facebook for a little more than a year now after fleeing MySpace due to an abundance of friend requests from half naked women who were rather enthusiastic in my meeting them via their webcam at an acceptable rate. And I have to say that I was a huge fan of Facebook last year especially given that I was unemployed for most of it. At the start every single person on my friend list was someone that I actually knew well. As time passed I started having people from high school find me and that was rather cool to start. But then suddenly more and more of my past became a part of my friend list. People who I haven’t spoken to in twenty years, people who weren’t my friends when I actually knew them, heck, people I don’t think I actually ever knew are now all part of my online life. And thanks to Facebook I get to hear about every single thing they ever do.
So for the sanity of myself and others I would like to propose the following rules regarding proper Facebook etiquette.
Rule # 1: No one cares about the quiz you just took: For the love of God, I really could care less what Breakfast Club character you are most like, or when some internet program says that you are going to die or any other stupid quiz that you are taking and then telling me about. Not only is it not telling me anything about you but it is making me think less of you as a human being. See, instead of determining who you are through reflection and introspection you are relying on badly phrased internet quizzes with a pop culture glaze. After a certain age (meaning anyone who is not technically a sixteen year old girl) you should not be taking these quizzes and certainly not discussing them in public. It just shows that you have nothing better to do with your free time.
Rule # 2: I care slightly more about your top five but not much: I actually can find it interesting when people list their five favorite movies or tv shows or sport teams. I have that in my profile and can’t blame others for doing it as well. However, if you are going to unleash your top five on the rest of your friend list please actually list five distinct items. If you are going to list your five favorite sports teams and list the Cubs for all of them I am going to have negative feelings towards you due to a) your lack of creativity and b) your support of a bad franchise.
Rule # 3: If you are going to write a note, write an actual note: This has actually died down in recent weeks now that the 25 Random Things meme has run its course. I still however see people filling out strange online forms and forwarding it to everyone else in an attempt to blog without doing any of the actual work. See, writing notes is meant to be a substitute for writing a blog and those of us in the blogging community like to have standards. Not very high, as anyone who has followed this site for the four and a half years it has been running will surely know, but we do have standards. Just be yourself and write what you are thinking and what you want to express. It is much more interesting than whatever quiz you are filling out. That is why the 25 Random Things were interesting; you had to actually think for a minute before writing them.
Rule # 4: If you wouldn’t recognize me if I passed you on the street, don’t tag me in a picture: I put this rule in due to the fact that I spent a portion of last week looking at a coworker’s pictures from her senior prom. I wasn’t searching these out; they were actually on my Facebook front page. She didn’t post them but she was tagged in them. Everyone needs to remember that your social circle on Facebook contains friends and family and coworkers and more than a few bosses. It is rather disconcerting to know that everyone you know can see what you looked like at a time in your life that you would rather forget. So think before you tag.
Rule # 5: Facebook status updates should either be informative or funny: Meaning I want to either a) know what you are doing right now or b) get a chuckle out of your one liner. I do not want to hear about your political leanings or deal with profanity laden tirades. Again, some of us are on Facebook at work so watch the language. I do my best to aim for pun laden humor and if you are going to force others to know about every moment of your life you should at least make it interesting. Caveat: promoting your blog is always acceptable on Facebook especially in an effort to get one more comment on your page.
Just five rules. Please abide by them or otherwise Facebook will become Friendster in six months. I think it is already on its way there.
Your musical selection for the night: Typically I do Best of 120 Minutes here but this song is so awesome that I have to post it now. Jack White is beginning to sell me on his genius.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) The Drovers “Kill Mice Elf”
2) Veruca Salt “American Thighs”
3) Bruce Springsteen “Human Touch”
4) Uncle Tupelo “89/93 An Anthology”
5) Lyle Lovett “I Love Everybody”
Thursday, April 09, 2009
The Influential 15: Culture (Part Three)
Very interesting comment on the last post about whether or not Obama qualifies as a Gen Xer. We are certainly agreed in that Obama is the first post-Boomer president, which was the crux of my argument. I had never heard of the Generation Jones concept and I will admit that it does make sense in that using twenty years for generations does create issues when looking at things from a cultural standpoint. I still say that Obama shows Gen X tendencies especially in his embracing of the internet and the understanding of the importance of the medium. Also, Henry Rollins was also born in 1961 and I would like to think that we are of the same generation so take that for what it is worth.
Ok, on to the final five.
9/11: I almost didn’t include this one. Maybe it is because it is so obvious or maybe it is because it is a rather challenging subject to write about. Even though it has almost been eight years the wound is still fresh enough that examining it in a detached manner is difficult but I’ll try.
Obviously this is the biggest historical moment of my lifetime and the one where I can discuss where I was in great detail. I was lying in bed listening to sports talk radio when I heard that the first plane had hit. I ran over to my living room to turn on the news in time to watch the second plane hit live. It still bugs me that when I heard the news I jumped out of bed but Bush decided to keep on reading the children’s book.
What interests me more is how we have changed as a nation as a result. The hope was that we would become a less cynical, more helpful and understanding to our fellow man as a result. Instead I think we have become darker. We lost our boundless optimism and replaced it with a self defeating view of the world. What I find even more telling is that the greatest damage caused by that attack wasn’t by the terrorists: it was by ourselves. The attack was horrible and tragic and we all still feel for the thousands of innocent people who lost their lives that day. But the events that followed: the misguided war, the loss of civil liberties, the crashing of the financial system, none of those were caused by the terrorists. We did that to ourselves out of fear and poor leadership. In fifty years that is how historians will view the events of that day.
My family gets cable: Ok, I guess from a generational viewpoint this would be the mainstream introduction of cable but I will write this solely from my experience. Getting cable meant access to a whole new world of options. Imagine growing up in a world of maybe six or seven channels, several of which came in either fuzzy or in Spanish. Then imagine having forty channels including ones dedicated to music and sports (mainly Australian Rules Football) and children’s programming. It was a completely mind altering experience. The options seemed to be limitless and it has led to my having hundreds of channels of which I watch, well, six or seven.
I would also be remiss if I didn’t mention the other main benefit of cable: boobs. Yes, the wonders of premium cable in which you could see naughty bits and hear swear words all in the comfort of your own home. This is another reason why I can’t even comprehend what it must be like to be a 13 year old boy today. In my day it was a huge deal to try to sneak down to the living room late at night to watch something that was forbidden. Now I expect kids just sit in their rooms and download the most vile things imaginable. I never thought that I would refer to my youth as a simpler time.
Launch of the Atari 2600: A major event on so many levels that it can’t even begin to be understood. First off, it was one of the first times in which a new thing became commonplace in a home. People had a television and a stereo. Now they also needed an Atari. This was the first true gaming system for the home and I can’t even begin to estimate just how many hours of my life were spent playing every game imaginable. From the incredibly basic sports games (one on one basketball! Four on four football!) to the epic Activision games of River Raid and Keystone Kapers. And let us not forget Decathalon; the game that taught us the importance of the javelin toss while also giving carpal tunnel syndrome to every man my age.
But really Atari marked the beginning of the home gaming craze. What had started in the arcades (and Pac-Man in the arcades really deserves an honorable mention here) entered the home and has never left. Nintendo took up the banner and now we have Playstation and Xbox and immense online games played on computers. It is considered commonplace to all sit down in front of a screen with a controller in hand and play. Except that in reality that experience is only thirty years old.
Run DMC Releases “Walk This Way”: Rap existed before this song hit the airwaves but no one knew about it. Correction: white suburban kids did not know about it because MTV would not air the videos. But with this song the hip hop revolution was launched and has not stopped since.
It really is amazing to look at just to what extent hip hop has taken over the musical landscape. Back when I studied the sale of ringtones (I’ve had some strange jobs in my life) the top of the sales charts consisted almost entirely of hip hop. It wasn’t even close. You would have to scroll through pages of songs before you came across the first traditional rock band. The same is true in many aspects with album sales. Look at any billboard chart for the past ten years. Hip hop has replaced two guitars, bass and drums as the musical standard.
At its best, rap and hip hop are the first new art form produced by American culture since jazz. At its worst, it can be really, really bad, which doesn’t separate it from any other art form. But everything from music to fashion to language has been influenced by hip hop and it all started with this one song.
I join the internet: Everyone remember when they first got online? For me it was 1993 with a Prodigy account. Technically I was online earlier with an email account through Illinois’ mainframe system but I consider 1993 as the year I entered the internet age. My AOL account was started in 1995 and I will have had the same email address for fourteen years this summer, which is just amazing.
Simply put, the internet changed everything. It gave a reason for people to have a home computer for something other than playing video games. It led you to find people of similar interests from around the world instantaneously. The entire world shrunk. No store was too far away or a conversation to difficult to have. The idea of writing a letter became ludicrous. Even now, I can scarcely remember how I lived before Mapquest. How in the world did people find where they were going? (On a similar note, the launch of the cell phone gets an honorable mention as well due to the fact that without it meeting people in a crowd was essentially impossible.) Thanks to my phone I am essentially online 24 hours a day and run a website that is visited by people on every continent. Pretty amazing event if you ask me.
So there are my fifteen. Let me know if you think there is anything that I missed.
Ok, on to the final five.
9/11: I almost didn’t include this one. Maybe it is because it is so obvious or maybe it is because it is a rather challenging subject to write about. Even though it has almost been eight years the wound is still fresh enough that examining it in a detached manner is difficult but I’ll try.
Obviously this is the biggest historical moment of my lifetime and the one where I can discuss where I was in great detail. I was lying in bed listening to sports talk radio when I heard that the first plane had hit. I ran over to my living room to turn on the news in time to watch the second plane hit live. It still bugs me that when I heard the news I jumped out of bed but Bush decided to keep on reading the children’s book.
What interests me more is how we have changed as a nation as a result. The hope was that we would become a less cynical, more helpful and understanding to our fellow man as a result. Instead I think we have become darker. We lost our boundless optimism and replaced it with a self defeating view of the world. What I find even more telling is that the greatest damage caused by that attack wasn’t by the terrorists: it was by ourselves. The attack was horrible and tragic and we all still feel for the thousands of innocent people who lost their lives that day. But the events that followed: the misguided war, the loss of civil liberties, the crashing of the financial system, none of those were caused by the terrorists. We did that to ourselves out of fear and poor leadership. In fifty years that is how historians will view the events of that day.
My family gets cable: Ok, I guess from a generational viewpoint this would be the mainstream introduction of cable but I will write this solely from my experience. Getting cable meant access to a whole new world of options. Imagine growing up in a world of maybe six or seven channels, several of which came in either fuzzy or in Spanish. Then imagine having forty channels including ones dedicated to music and sports (mainly Australian Rules Football) and children’s programming. It was a completely mind altering experience. The options seemed to be limitless and it has led to my having hundreds of channels of which I watch, well, six or seven.
I would also be remiss if I didn’t mention the other main benefit of cable: boobs. Yes, the wonders of premium cable in which you could see naughty bits and hear swear words all in the comfort of your own home. This is another reason why I can’t even comprehend what it must be like to be a 13 year old boy today. In my day it was a huge deal to try to sneak down to the living room late at night to watch something that was forbidden. Now I expect kids just sit in their rooms and download the most vile things imaginable. I never thought that I would refer to my youth as a simpler time.
Launch of the Atari 2600: A major event on so many levels that it can’t even begin to be understood. First off, it was one of the first times in which a new thing became commonplace in a home. People had a television and a stereo. Now they also needed an Atari. This was the first true gaming system for the home and I can’t even begin to estimate just how many hours of my life were spent playing every game imaginable. From the incredibly basic sports games (one on one basketball! Four on four football!) to the epic Activision games of River Raid and Keystone Kapers. And let us not forget Decathalon; the game that taught us the importance of the javelin toss while also giving carpal tunnel syndrome to every man my age.
But really Atari marked the beginning of the home gaming craze. What had started in the arcades (and Pac-Man in the arcades really deserves an honorable mention here) entered the home and has never left. Nintendo took up the banner and now we have Playstation and Xbox and immense online games played on computers. It is considered commonplace to all sit down in front of a screen with a controller in hand and play. Except that in reality that experience is only thirty years old.
Run DMC Releases “Walk This Way”: Rap existed before this song hit the airwaves but no one knew about it. Correction: white suburban kids did not know about it because MTV would not air the videos. But with this song the hip hop revolution was launched and has not stopped since.
It really is amazing to look at just to what extent hip hop has taken over the musical landscape. Back when I studied the sale of ringtones (I’ve had some strange jobs in my life) the top of the sales charts consisted almost entirely of hip hop. It wasn’t even close. You would have to scroll through pages of songs before you came across the first traditional rock band. The same is true in many aspects with album sales. Look at any billboard chart for the past ten years. Hip hop has replaced two guitars, bass and drums as the musical standard.
At its best, rap and hip hop are the first new art form produced by American culture since jazz. At its worst, it can be really, really bad, which doesn’t separate it from any other art form. But everything from music to fashion to language has been influenced by hip hop and it all started with this one song.
I join the internet: Everyone remember when they first got online? For me it was 1993 with a Prodigy account. Technically I was online earlier with an email account through Illinois’ mainframe system but I consider 1993 as the year I entered the internet age. My AOL account was started in 1995 and I will have had the same email address for fourteen years this summer, which is just amazing.
Simply put, the internet changed everything. It gave a reason for people to have a home computer for something other than playing video games. It led you to find people of similar interests from around the world instantaneously. The entire world shrunk. No store was too far away or a conversation to difficult to have. The idea of writing a letter became ludicrous. Even now, I can scarcely remember how I lived before Mapquest. How in the world did people find where they were going? (On a similar note, the launch of the cell phone gets an honorable mention as well due to the fact that without it meeting people in a crowd was essentially impossible.) Thanks to my phone I am essentially online 24 hours a day and run a website that is visited by people on every continent. Pretty amazing event if you ask me.
So there are my fifteen. Let me know if you think there is anything that I missed.
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
The Influential 15: Culture (Part Two)
Time for part two of the Top 15 Cultural Moments of my Lifetime. First off though I would like to give an honorable mention to the introduction of the Denny’s Grandslamwich. I know that it was only officially introduced today so I don’t have a lot of historical data to go on but I am certain that this will go down as one of the high points of western civilization. How could you go wrong with “scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon, ham, American cheese, mayonnaise and a maple spiced spread between two slices of potato bread?” Finally, a meal for those of us who have sat down at a Denny’s while still technically drunk, looked down at our Grand Slam breakfast and said “You know what would make this better? Mayonnaise. And a convenient way to hold it in your hand.”
Anyway, back to the countdown.
Live Aid: This begins with the release of Band Aid’s “Do They Know It’s Christmas”, which I still contend is not only the best charity song ever released but simply one of the best songs of all time. How many other songs from that time frame can you both name and sing in its entirety? This really is the one and only huge concert event of my lifetime. The Baby Boomers can have their Woodstock (three days in the mud to hear Country Joe and the Fish followed by Sha Na Na? The drugs must have been really good.) Gen X will certainly try to disavow any knowledge of Woodstock ’94 (brought to you by Pepsi) and Woodstock ’99 (come for the music, stay for the looting.) Even Lollapalooza never touched the epic scale of Live Aid. It was one of the moments where you spent all of what was a beautiful summer Saturday staying inside watching television because you just did not know what you were going to miss if you left. Led Zeppelin getting back together? Black Sabbath with Ozzy? A reunited Beatles with Julian Lennon replacing John? That last one was plausible on that day. And it was all for a cause that people were really behind. Give Bob Geldof credit, he galvanized the world on the topic of starvation in Africa. While some of the attempts since have focused on needy causes none had the epic scope of Live Aid. Plus, it helped launch U2 into superstardom so we should give it credit for that as well.
The O.J. Simpson Verdict: I was working in an office at ComEd that housed a call center at the time this verdict was read. For the ten minutes before and the five minutes after the verdict they did not receive a single call. This is a call center for one of the largest utilities in the country. That is the best indication that I can give as to how everyone was glued to the television set at the moment this verdict was read. Most people discuss the trial and the verdict and the aftermath from a race viewpoint. In my mind, this trial was all about celebrity. It had little to do with justice or with law and had everything to do with showmanship and fame. Everyone involved became famous. People would comment on Marcia Clark’s wardrobe or Johnnie Cochrane’s wordplay and then go home to watch the Dancing Ito’s on Leno. Yes, in a double murder trial we felt that it was comical to have a vaudeville version of the judge. This wasn’t a trial about race or murder. It was an indication as to how seemingly sensible people can be completely derailed once they discover that the whole world is paying attention to them. And how the shrewd among them can use that aura of celebrity to get away with murder.
Shawn Fanning Launches Napster: The mark of a sea change in the way all media will be created and distributed. We haven’t even begun to understand just what Napster wrought on the world. It wasn’t Shawn’s intention to completely revolutionize (and possibly destroy) the entire entertainment industry. He just wanted to make it easy to share music with his friends. But oh, what a world he has created.
Essentially the issue is this. Napster showed that information and data (which is all that a song or a book or a movie is at the end of the day) wants to be free and easily shared. If I have a copy and I want to lend it to you I will. That has always been true. However, before the internet I would have to physically hand you my copy. Now I can give you a copy over the net that is completely identical to my original. In fact, you don’t even have to be my friend. You can just be some no name online. So we have an end product being treated like it is free when it still costs significant capital to create. People can watch Wolverine before it is even released and the movie studio doesn’t receive a cent for something that cost 50 million to make. That is the biggest issue that Napster has created. How do you have an entertainment industry when there is a system in place that will ensure that you will never profit from your creation?
Also, bonus points for being the application that drove broadband into the forefront. Previously the only people striving for higher bandwith were gamers and people who were interested in accessing the, uh, darker portions of the internet. With the ability to easily download music suddenly the world wanted to go faster. Not a bad accomplishment for a college kid.
Election of Barack Obama: Let’s put politics aside for a moment. Whether you agree with his policies or disagree with them is irrelevant for the points that I am going to make here. Obama marks a massive change in the political landscape. First, he is the first Gen X president. Born in 1961 he just makes the cut under Strauss and Howe’s definition of the 13th Generation (see my 15 Influential Books for more details). After several election cycles in which Baby Boomer candidates were questioned about their activities in Vietnam he comes in from beyond that crisis with a new viewpoint. That alone is worth noting.
But more importantly his election indicates that the idea that anyone can become president has become much more of a reality than it has ever been before. Growing up I assumed that one day we would have an African American as president but it was in the same category as my belief that we would have astronauts flying to Mars and I would have my own flying car. It was a possibility but not a probability. This presidential election though seemed to transcend race. Include Hillary Clinton’s and Sarah Palin’s role and you can even say that it transcended gender. The issue bubbling under the surface wasn’t that of Obama’s race it was the whispers that he might secretly be a Muslim. That is what indicates where the dark side of the American psyche now lies. We may be beyond race but in no way are we beyond religion.
Star Wars Opens on May 25, 1977: No movie ever has or ever will capture the pop culture zeitgeist the way that this movie has. 32 years later and we are still talking about Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader. Kids today whose parents hadn’t even been born when the movie was released can discuss in detail the construction of the Death Star. The only near equivalent is Harry Potter but it builds upon much of the same framework. Create a story that children can relate to and imagine themselves in but provides enough escapism for adults.
Even more important though is that it created the world of marketing and mass consumerism that is tied to every mainstream movie release. This is coming from someone who has his childhood Boba Fett action figure sitting on his printer as he types it. I did not play with generic toys as a kid. I played with Star Wars figures, complete with their own pre-developed backstory and neatly leading me to want to watch the next film. This led to the launch (or relaunch) of G.I. Joe, Transformers, He Man and all of the other toy commercials masquerading as cartoons. The line between play and consumerism was erased. While nothing comes between me and the Fett man I can’t say that is a good thing.
Wednesday Night Music Club: Time to promote Neko Case’s new album “Middle Cyclone”. Here is the best song to ever feature the word “Maneater” in the chorus other than Hall and Oates song of the same name.
Anyway, back to the countdown.
Live Aid: This begins with the release of Band Aid’s “Do They Know It’s Christmas”, which I still contend is not only the best charity song ever released but simply one of the best songs of all time. How many other songs from that time frame can you both name and sing in its entirety? This really is the one and only huge concert event of my lifetime. The Baby Boomers can have their Woodstock (three days in the mud to hear Country Joe and the Fish followed by Sha Na Na? The drugs must have been really good.) Gen X will certainly try to disavow any knowledge of Woodstock ’94 (brought to you by Pepsi) and Woodstock ’99 (come for the music, stay for the looting.) Even Lollapalooza never touched the epic scale of Live Aid. It was one of the moments where you spent all of what was a beautiful summer Saturday staying inside watching television because you just did not know what you were going to miss if you left. Led Zeppelin getting back together? Black Sabbath with Ozzy? A reunited Beatles with Julian Lennon replacing John? That last one was plausible on that day. And it was all for a cause that people were really behind. Give Bob Geldof credit, he galvanized the world on the topic of starvation in Africa. While some of the attempts since have focused on needy causes none had the epic scope of Live Aid. Plus, it helped launch U2 into superstardom so we should give it credit for that as well.
The O.J. Simpson Verdict: I was working in an office at ComEd that housed a call center at the time this verdict was read. For the ten minutes before and the five minutes after the verdict they did not receive a single call. This is a call center for one of the largest utilities in the country. That is the best indication that I can give as to how everyone was glued to the television set at the moment this verdict was read. Most people discuss the trial and the verdict and the aftermath from a race viewpoint. In my mind, this trial was all about celebrity. It had little to do with justice or with law and had everything to do with showmanship and fame. Everyone involved became famous. People would comment on Marcia Clark’s wardrobe or Johnnie Cochrane’s wordplay and then go home to watch the Dancing Ito’s on Leno. Yes, in a double murder trial we felt that it was comical to have a vaudeville version of the judge. This wasn’t a trial about race or murder. It was an indication as to how seemingly sensible people can be completely derailed once they discover that the whole world is paying attention to them. And how the shrewd among them can use that aura of celebrity to get away with murder.
Shawn Fanning Launches Napster: The mark of a sea change in the way all media will be created and distributed. We haven’t even begun to understand just what Napster wrought on the world. It wasn’t Shawn’s intention to completely revolutionize (and possibly destroy) the entire entertainment industry. He just wanted to make it easy to share music with his friends. But oh, what a world he has created.
Essentially the issue is this. Napster showed that information and data (which is all that a song or a book or a movie is at the end of the day) wants to be free and easily shared. If I have a copy and I want to lend it to you I will. That has always been true. However, before the internet I would have to physically hand you my copy. Now I can give you a copy over the net that is completely identical to my original. In fact, you don’t even have to be my friend. You can just be some no name online. So we have an end product being treated like it is free when it still costs significant capital to create. People can watch Wolverine before it is even released and the movie studio doesn’t receive a cent for something that cost 50 million to make. That is the biggest issue that Napster has created. How do you have an entertainment industry when there is a system in place that will ensure that you will never profit from your creation?
Also, bonus points for being the application that drove broadband into the forefront. Previously the only people striving for higher bandwith were gamers and people who were interested in accessing the, uh, darker portions of the internet. With the ability to easily download music suddenly the world wanted to go faster. Not a bad accomplishment for a college kid.
Election of Barack Obama: Let’s put politics aside for a moment. Whether you agree with his policies or disagree with them is irrelevant for the points that I am going to make here. Obama marks a massive change in the political landscape. First, he is the first Gen X president. Born in 1961 he just makes the cut under Strauss and Howe’s definition of the 13th Generation (see my 15 Influential Books for more details). After several election cycles in which Baby Boomer candidates were questioned about their activities in Vietnam he comes in from beyond that crisis with a new viewpoint. That alone is worth noting.
But more importantly his election indicates that the idea that anyone can become president has become much more of a reality than it has ever been before. Growing up I assumed that one day we would have an African American as president but it was in the same category as my belief that we would have astronauts flying to Mars and I would have my own flying car. It was a possibility but not a probability. This presidential election though seemed to transcend race. Include Hillary Clinton’s and Sarah Palin’s role and you can even say that it transcended gender. The issue bubbling under the surface wasn’t that of Obama’s race it was the whispers that he might secretly be a Muslim. That is what indicates where the dark side of the American psyche now lies. We may be beyond race but in no way are we beyond religion.
Star Wars Opens on May 25, 1977: No movie ever has or ever will capture the pop culture zeitgeist the way that this movie has. 32 years later and we are still talking about Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader. Kids today whose parents hadn’t even been born when the movie was released can discuss in detail the construction of the Death Star. The only near equivalent is Harry Potter but it builds upon much of the same framework. Create a story that children can relate to and imagine themselves in but provides enough escapism for adults.
Even more important though is that it created the world of marketing and mass consumerism that is tied to every mainstream movie release. This is coming from someone who has his childhood Boba Fett action figure sitting on his printer as he types it. I did not play with generic toys as a kid. I played with Star Wars figures, complete with their own pre-developed backstory and neatly leading me to want to watch the next film. This led to the launch (or relaunch) of G.I. Joe, Transformers, He Man and all of the other toy commercials masquerading as cartoons. The line between play and consumerism was erased. While nothing comes between me and the Fett man I can’t say that is a good thing.
Wednesday Night Music Club: Time to promote Neko Case’s new album “Middle Cyclone”. Here is the best song to ever feature the word “Maneater” in the chorus other than Hall and Oates song of the same name.
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
The Influential 15: Culture (Part One)
Time for me to finish up the Influential 15 thread that I started a few weeks ago with one that will actually have some sociological reasoning behind it (as opposed to discussions of my love of science fiction and British comedy). Tonight will be part one of my examination of the 15 most influential cultural moments of my lifetime. Again, I am talking about being memorable and life changing here as opposed to the best moments of my life. Many of those were not nationally televised (though some have come with a live blog feed). So keep that in mind.
Also, this is being written by someone who was born in 1973 and all of this is from that mindset. As a result I will not be listing Woodstock or landing on the moon as they do not fit my timeframe as well as the former being overrated and the latter being filmed on a soundstage in Arizona. Plan is to examine five a night for the next three nights. Let’s go…
Nirvana releases Smells like Teen Spirit / Kurt Cobain commits suicide: I do not know how to separate these two events any more. Every reference to one must include a reference to the other. In my mind, this is the biggest event of my life and I know that many people may consider that strange or shallow but let me explain. Smells like Teen Spirit was released in 1991 soon after I had turned 18. Not only did it mark music going into a completely different direction (the death of hair metal and the rise of grunge) but it marked the entry of Generation X into the forefront of the cultural landscape. Suddenly the airwaves were filled with people who looked and thought like I did. After years of living in the wake of the Baby Boomers we had finally entered the limelight. And two and a half years later, as I neared my 21st birthday, it all ended at our own hands. While the opening notes of Smells like Teen Spirit marked the birth of grunge the gunshot marked the end of it. We had lost our leader and we never recovered. What was a group of energetic, if slightly disheveled, 18 year olds had become a band of world weary 21 year olds who had already seen the dark side of life. Generation X walked away from the limelight. We went to take care of ourselves, to make art and music and movies on our own terms as we saw that the spotlight could destroy your soul. We ceded that scene to Gen Y with the Britney’s and Lindsey’s who thought nothing of sacrificing their being for five more seconds of fame. Generation X still exists 15 years after Kurt’s death. We’re just still haunted by it.
The Real World premieres on MTV: This should make the list just for starting the reality television revolution. True, it wasn’t until Survivor that the major networks realized how cost effective it was to put real people who were either telegenic, interesting or hopefully both into a contrived situation with a number of cameramen and see what happens but The Real World marked the start of the modern era of the genre. Given the amount of programming that falls into this realm it deserves a place on the list.
More importantly though it makes an appearance because, as in the words of Matthew McConnaghy in Dazed and Confused “I get older but the cast of The Real World stays the same age.” This creates for an incredibly cultural study as I view the cast through my eyes. The first several seasons were wonderful and I was completely hooked as I was the same age as the cast members and I could see myself as being on the show (and longtime blog commentator Super Dave did almost make the Miami cast). I would watch the show and think which girl would I like to date and who would I want to hang out at a bar with. As the seasons progressed though I found myself connecting less and less with the cast and therefore being less engrossed with the show. I started finding the characters shallow and annoying. At first I thought this was a result of casting but as the years have progressed I realized it was just because they are 21 years old. All 21 year olds are shallow and annoying, the 21 year old version of myself included. Now I can’t even watch the show. A 21 year old today was one when the Berlin Wall fell, seven when Cobain died and 13 on 9/11. What in the world would I have in common with them other than we both breathe oxygen?
The Miracle on Ice (US defeats the USSR in Lake Placid): You know what is sad? I really felt required to write that little explanation because I’m not sure if everyone would understand the reference if I just said Miracle on Ice. Even though I was six at the time even I knew that this was a huge deal. The underdog group of college kids competing in the Olympics against the evil Soviet professional players who were expected to walk all over them. The desire and heart shown in their miracle win (helped by the fact that the Soviets pulled Tretriak (the greatest goalie of all time) after the first period) that really shook a nation from an emotional low point driven by the Iran hostage drama, a bad economy, and the Soviet threat. I don’t know if people even ten years younger than me can understand living under the threat of nuclear war. I grew up with the understanding that it was entirely possible that the world would end before I would even have a chance to grow up. The Doomsday Clock was two minutes to midnight. This hockey game gave us hope that there was light at the end of the tunnel.
Explosion of the Space Shuttle Challenger: This was the first “Do you remember where you were when” moments of my life. It’s strange how this event has taken up such a bigger cultural role than the loss of Columbia. The end result is the same tragedy: seven lives are lost in a tragic accident but for some reason Challenger has a much stronger tie on the psyche. Part of it is due to Christa McCauliff, the teacher in space who was on the flight which meant that many of us were watching the launch from our classrooms. Part of it is due to the fact that the space program had been infallible for decades. I was a NASA geek and couldn’t really comprehend how we could put a man on the moon (allegedly) and fail a simple launch. (And I have to admit that 11 year old me was immediately concerned with how this would impact the future of the space program). But I think the real reason this plays such an important role in the memories of Gen X is that this was our first huge “huddle around the TV” moment. It is a nature of life that there are significant, world changing events in the course of a generation. Gen X wasn’t aware during the turmoil of the 60’s and even I was too young to fully comprehend the assassination attempts on Reagan and the Pope. The Challenger disaster was the first time when all of the channels were turned to the same story and it was one I comprehended.
(Side note: I also learned how quickly off-color jokes are formed in the wake of a disaster. In this case I believe I was hearing them on the playground the next day.)
Christian Laettner hits “The Shot” to defeat Kentucky in the East Regional Final: A few years ago if you asked me to list the top five moments of my life this would have made the list, which is pretty sad given that I a) wasn’t there, b) Duke rejected my application and c) I was sitting alone in a dorm room at Illinois at the time. Luckily my life has improved since then. It would still make the top twenty. Ok, fifteen.
Easily the best college basketball game I have ever seen as Duke races out to the early lead to only see Kentucky claw back into it resulting in the best last few minutes of regulation and overtime ever. Every possession seemed to be a matter of life or death as the lead constantly changed hands until with 2.1 seconds left Duke was down one and Grant Hill through the ball the length of the court to Christian. With a quick fake, two dribbles and a fadeaway Christian cemented his place in history. He ended with a perfect game: ten for ten from the field, ten for ten from the line, and perfect hair throughout.
Why does this matter to me? Because I was a Duke fan who wanted to be Christian Laettner. In high school I became a Duke fan thanks to the encouragement of an English teacher. This was before the program became synonymous with first excellence and later arrogance. For me as a teenager it was just the team that played the game the way I thought it should be played and who I supported when no one else did. And twice a week after dealing with the living horror that is high school I would go home and watch my team win. Culminating in my favorite player hitting the game winning shot in the biggest game of his career. After seeing that, you pretty much realize that everything is possible.
Also, this is being written by someone who was born in 1973 and all of this is from that mindset. As a result I will not be listing Woodstock or landing on the moon as they do not fit my timeframe as well as the former being overrated and the latter being filmed on a soundstage in Arizona. Plan is to examine five a night for the next three nights. Let’s go…
Nirvana releases Smells like Teen Spirit / Kurt Cobain commits suicide: I do not know how to separate these two events any more. Every reference to one must include a reference to the other. In my mind, this is the biggest event of my life and I know that many people may consider that strange or shallow but let me explain. Smells like Teen Spirit was released in 1991 soon after I had turned 18. Not only did it mark music going into a completely different direction (the death of hair metal and the rise of grunge) but it marked the entry of Generation X into the forefront of the cultural landscape. Suddenly the airwaves were filled with people who looked and thought like I did. After years of living in the wake of the Baby Boomers we had finally entered the limelight. And two and a half years later, as I neared my 21st birthday, it all ended at our own hands. While the opening notes of Smells like Teen Spirit marked the birth of grunge the gunshot marked the end of it. We had lost our leader and we never recovered. What was a group of energetic, if slightly disheveled, 18 year olds had become a band of world weary 21 year olds who had already seen the dark side of life. Generation X walked away from the limelight. We went to take care of ourselves, to make art and music and movies on our own terms as we saw that the spotlight could destroy your soul. We ceded that scene to Gen Y with the Britney’s and Lindsey’s who thought nothing of sacrificing their being for five more seconds of fame. Generation X still exists 15 years after Kurt’s death. We’re just still haunted by it.
The Real World premieres on MTV: This should make the list just for starting the reality television revolution. True, it wasn’t until Survivor that the major networks realized how cost effective it was to put real people who were either telegenic, interesting or hopefully both into a contrived situation with a number of cameramen and see what happens but The Real World marked the start of the modern era of the genre. Given the amount of programming that falls into this realm it deserves a place on the list.
More importantly though it makes an appearance because, as in the words of Matthew McConnaghy in Dazed and Confused “I get older but the cast of The Real World stays the same age.” This creates for an incredibly cultural study as I view the cast through my eyes. The first several seasons were wonderful and I was completely hooked as I was the same age as the cast members and I could see myself as being on the show (and longtime blog commentator Super Dave did almost make the Miami cast). I would watch the show and think which girl would I like to date and who would I want to hang out at a bar with. As the seasons progressed though I found myself connecting less and less with the cast and therefore being less engrossed with the show. I started finding the characters shallow and annoying. At first I thought this was a result of casting but as the years have progressed I realized it was just because they are 21 years old. All 21 year olds are shallow and annoying, the 21 year old version of myself included. Now I can’t even watch the show. A 21 year old today was one when the Berlin Wall fell, seven when Cobain died and 13 on 9/11. What in the world would I have in common with them other than we both breathe oxygen?
The Miracle on Ice (US defeats the USSR in Lake Placid): You know what is sad? I really felt required to write that little explanation because I’m not sure if everyone would understand the reference if I just said Miracle on Ice. Even though I was six at the time even I knew that this was a huge deal. The underdog group of college kids competing in the Olympics against the evil Soviet professional players who were expected to walk all over them. The desire and heart shown in their miracle win (helped by the fact that the Soviets pulled Tretriak (the greatest goalie of all time) after the first period) that really shook a nation from an emotional low point driven by the Iran hostage drama, a bad economy, and the Soviet threat. I don’t know if people even ten years younger than me can understand living under the threat of nuclear war. I grew up with the understanding that it was entirely possible that the world would end before I would even have a chance to grow up. The Doomsday Clock was two minutes to midnight. This hockey game gave us hope that there was light at the end of the tunnel.
Explosion of the Space Shuttle Challenger: This was the first “Do you remember where you were when” moments of my life. It’s strange how this event has taken up such a bigger cultural role than the loss of Columbia. The end result is the same tragedy: seven lives are lost in a tragic accident but for some reason Challenger has a much stronger tie on the psyche. Part of it is due to Christa McCauliff, the teacher in space who was on the flight which meant that many of us were watching the launch from our classrooms. Part of it is due to the fact that the space program had been infallible for decades. I was a NASA geek and couldn’t really comprehend how we could put a man on the moon (allegedly) and fail a simple launch. (And I have to admit that 11 year old me was immediately concerned with how this would impact the future of the space program). But I think the real reason this plays such an important role in the memories of Gen X is that this was our first huge “huddle around the TV” moment. It is a nature of life that there are significant, world changing events in the course of a generation. Gen X wasn’t aware during the turmoil of the 60’s and even I was too young to fully comprehend the assassination attempts on Reagan and the Pope. The Challenger disaster was the first time when all of the channels were turned to the same story and it was one I comprehended.
(Side note: I also learned how quickly off-color jokes are formed in the wake of a disaster. In this case I believe I was hearing them on the playground the next day.)
Christian Laettner hits “The Shot” to defeat Kentucky in the East Regional Final: A few years ago if you asked me to list the top five moments of my life this would have made the list, which is pretty sad given that I a) wasn’t there, b) Duke rejected my application and c) I was sitting alone in a dorm room at Illinois at the time. Luckily my life has improved since then. It would still make the top twenty. Ok, fifteen.
Easily the best college basketball game I have ever seen as Duke races out to the early lead to only see Kentucky claw back into it resulting in the best last few minutes of regulation and overtime ever. Every possession seemed to be a matter of life or death as the lead constantly changed hands until with 2.1 seconds left Duke was down one and Grant Hill through the ball the length of the court to Christian. With a quick fake, two dribbles and a fadeaway Christian cemented his place in history. He ended with a perfect game: ten for ten from the field, ten for ten from the line, and perfect hair throughout.
Why does this matter to me? Because I was a Duke fan who wanted to be Christian Laettner. In high school I became a Duke fan thanks to the encouragement of an English teacher. This was before the program became synonymous with first excellence and later arrogance. For me as a teenager it was just the team that played the game the way I thought it should be played and who I supported when no one else did. And twice a week after dealing with the living horror that is high school I would go home and watch my team win. Culminating in my favorite player hitting the game winning shot in the biggest game of his career. After seeing that, you pretty much realize that everything is possible.
Monday, April 06, 2009
Just another manic monday
I’m rather impressed that My Beloved Lindsay has started Twittering. Not that I want to hear anything that she has to say but rather the fact that she is able to compose thoughts of up to 140 characters. Though mainly the tweets have been about her latest break up. Latest break up? Woo hoo! I move up another space on the depth chart.
(Ok, it might be time to retire the whole Lindsay gag. It was fun for a while but now that my real life is a lot more interesting and wonderful than it has been this bit might be growing a little stale. Plus, have you seen a picture of her lately? I don’t think I want to date her. I’d rather buy her a sandwich.)
In other celebrity gossip news Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins is dating Tila Tequila, the world famous author and celebrity for a reason that no one can comprehend. You know, one of the nice things about being a rock star is that you can have pretty much any woman that you could ever want. However, as your star fades your pickings become slightly slimmer. Want an idea of how over the grunge era is? The best Billy Corgan can do now is Tila Tequila.
It is also opening day of the baseball season today. Well, technically last night was opening night because we need multiple openings of the season but today was the start of the day games. For those wondering Opening Day not only marks the start of spring but it is also a) the last time anyone will discuss the Royals and b) the indication that in two weeks we can stop caring about the Cubs. Meanwhile Major League Baseball decided that my White Sox were too awesome to even take the field today so they cancelled the game in order to give the rest of the league a small glimmer of hope that they would even theoretically be able to compete this year. It is small sacrifices like this that we make for the betterment of the game.
Oh, and finally go to hell Carolina. I don’t have any real reason to say that other than force of habit but really, go to hell. And take Roy Williams with you.
(Ok, it might be time to retire the whole Lindsay gag. It was fun for a while but now that my real life is a lot more interesting and wonderful than it has been this bit might be growing a little stale. Plus, have you seen a picture of her lately? I don’t think I want to date her. I’d rather buy her a sandwich.)
In other celebrity gossip news Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins is dating Tila Tequila, the world famous author and celebrity for a reason that no one can comprehend. You know, one of the nice things about being a rock star is that you can have pretty much any woman that you could ever want. However, as your star fades your pickings become slightly slimmer. Want an idea of how over the grunge era is? The best Billy Corgan can do now is Tila Tequila.
It is also opening day of the baseball season today. Well, technically last night was opening night because we need multiple openings of the season but today was the start of the day games. For those wondering Opening Day not only marks the start of spring but it is also a) the last time anyone will discuss the Royals and b) the indication that in two weeks we can stop caring about the Cubs. Meanwhile Major League Baseball decided that my White Sox were too awesome to even take the field today so they cancelled the game in order to give the rest of the league a small glimmer of hope that they would even theoretically be able to compete this year. It is small sacrifices like this that we make for the betterment of the game.
Oh, and finally go to hell Carolina. I don’t have any real reason to say that other than force of habit but really, go to hell. And take Roy Williams with you.
Sunday, April 05, 2009
Who greenlighted this mess?
Not all television shows are well defined spectacles of entertainment. Many of them are flawed from the very premise or title alone. Here are a few examples of shows that should never have made it past the pitch stage.
My Two Dads: The story of a girl whose mom dies tragically and goes to live with the two men who could possibly be her father. Possibly as in both slept with her mother and they never determined who the dad actually is. There are two huge flaws with this premise. 1) A simple paternity test in the pilot episode would have solved all of the dramatic conflict and 2) There is an unnerving tendency to call the show “My Mom was a Slut”.
Two Guys, A Girl and a Pizza Place: A title should be catchy, provide insight into the story and create an air of mystery. This title lists the cast and location and leaves you much more interested in the nuances of the pizza place than any of the other characters. What style of a pizza place is it? It is one of those old school Italian style restaurants that has morphed into a pizza place or is it a classic pizzeria? What are the daily specials? Do they put spinach and feta on their pizzas and if so, why in the world did they think that would be a good idea? Sign that your show is doomed: when I am more interested in an inanimate object than your cast.
Everybody Loves Raymond: Obvious false advertising. Sure, some people really loved Raymond but most just considered themselves to be really good friends. Maybe if they were both drunk and it was late at night and they had been through a bit of a rough patch something might happen but it would never work out. And there were a handful of people who simply tolerated Raymond. Hate it when television lies to me.
Everybody Hates Chris: I hate this show. On those few occasions that I am feeling good about myself I check out the television listings and discover that the entire universe is against me. Some people consider that to be paranoia but does anyone else have a television show dedicated to how people despise him? What did I do to the television networks to have it become their mission to inform the world how horrible those people named Chris are? Just wait until my class action lawsuit comes through.
The Pat Sajack Show: A ninety minute late night show hosted by the guy best known for asking “Would you like to buy a vowel?” Talk about a show that was just destined for failure. Late night is a strange beast to begin with but you need to have some interesting angle to make it work. Pat Sajack is white bread through and through. That is wonderful for being a game show host because it makes you completely innocuous and makes everyone want to spend a half hour watching you ask questions. But in late night there needs to be a bit more edge, a bit of the smoke filled comedy club, and from the start this show lacked it.
Best of 120 Minutes: Going back to Champaign for this one. Poster Children, who followed the rule that all bands in the early 90’s needed a female bass player.
The 5 random CDs for the week:
1) Laura Cantrell “When the Roses Bloom Again”
2) Drive By Truckers “The Dirty South”
3) Tom Petty “Full Moon Fever”
4) Josh Rouse “Subtitulo”
5) Uncle Tupelo “Not Forever, Just For Now”
My Two Dads: The story of a girl whose mom dies tragically and goes to live with the two men who could possibly be her father. Possibly as in both slept with her mother and they never determined who the dad actually is. There are two huge flaws with this premise. 1) A simple paternity test in the pilot episode would have solved all of the dramatic conflict and 2) There is an unnerving tendency to call the show “My Mom was a Slut”.
Two Guys, A Girl and a Pizza Place: A title should be catchy, provide insight into the story and create an air of mystery. This title lists the cast and location and leaves you much more interested in the nuances of the pizza place than any of the other characters. What style of a pizza place is it? It is one of those old school Italian style restaurants that has morphed into a pizza place or is it a classic pizzeria? What are the daily specials? Do they put spinach and feta on their pizzas and if so, why in the world did they think that would be a good idea? Sign that your show is doomed: when I am more interested in an inanimate object than your cast.
Everybody Loves Raymond: Obvious false advertising. Sure, some people really loved Raymond but most just considered themselves to be really good friends. Maybe if they were both drunk and it was late at night and they had been through a bit of a rough patch something might happen but it would never work out. And there were a handful of people who simply tolerated Raymond. Hate it when television lies to me.
Everybody Hates Chris: I hate this show. On those few occasions that I am feeling good about myself I check out the television listings and discover that the entire universe is against me. Some people consider that to be paranoia but does anyone else have a television show dedicated to how people despise him? What did I do to the television networks to have it become their mission to inform the world how horrible those people named Chris are? Just wait until my class action lawsuit comes through.
The Pat Sajack Show: A ninety minute late night show hosted by the guy best known for asking “Would you like to buy a vowel?” Talk about a show that was just destined for failure. Late night is a strange beast to begin with but you need to have some interesting angle to make it work. Pat Sajack is white bread through and through. That is wonderful for being a game show host because it makes you completely innocuous and makes everyone want to spend a half hour watching you ask questions. But in late night there needs to be a bit more edge, a bit of the smoke filled comedy club, and from the start this show lacked it.
Best of 120 Minutes: Going back to Champaign for this one. Poster Children, who followed the rule that all bands in the early 90’s needed a female bass player.
The 5 random CDs for the week:
1) Laura Cantrell “When the Roses Bloom Again”
2) Drive By Truckers “The Dirty South”
3) Tom Petty “Full Moon Fever”
4) Josh Rouse “Subtitulo”
5) Uncle Tupelo “Not Forever, Just For Now”
Thursday, April 02, 2009
This will go great with my Wampa
I know that the above item was just an April Fool’s Day joke but I so want one. I mean, I am more than willing to pay any aspiring sleeping bag maker to design for me a taunton sleeping bag. But it must have the faux intestine lining. Because there is no way to live out your Jedi fantasies unless you can slice open the belly of a Taunton before settling in for a nice nap.
Staying on the geek front: the FBI wants to know who leaked the Wolverine movie to the web. The rest of us just want to know why the movie sucks. I haven’t watched the leaked footage of course as that would be wrong but like all fanboys I can safely say without laying eyes on the film that it is a horrible misrepresentation of the character and in no way captures the nuances of Logan. Nor does it answer the question as to why claws are considered to be such an awesome weapon. It’s like he can punch you but now it is sharper. Never saw how that could compete with the guy who could blast you with laser beams from a block away.
The new laptop has been working out rather well for me. Screen resolution looks absolutely amazing but I have to tweak the sound settings a little. I’ve made some progress on the CD conversion front as I’ve ripped about 100 of them to my hard drive (again, I feel no guilt in copying music that I legally purchased to another medium for my own personal use. I’m just against artists getting no compensation for what they do). I am sadly at war with the machine on some fronts as my Zune wasn’t recognized (mainly because no one knows what one is) and my printer has apparently become self aware and is balking at any sort of changes to be made. Or at least it is now jamming for no apparent reason. One of those situations where it is easier to just turn the machine off then try to problem solve at the moment.
(Though I still think the keys on this keyboard are still a few centimeters out of alignment. It will take a while before my fingers naturally find their proper home on the keys.)
This weekend is Wrestlemania 25 and I will have to miss it due to a prior commitment. (Want to know when my life has taken a turn so amazing and unexpected that it astounds even me? When something comes up that I feel trumps Wrestlemania.) While I am disappointed that Koko B. Ware is making the Hall of Fame I am pleased that the Von Erichs, The Funks, and Howard Finkel are all being inducted this year. Especially Finkel who has been the ring announcer since, well, for as long as I have been watching wrestling. They’ve phased him out a bit over the past few years which is sad as there is no one better at saying “Your winner and NEW heavyweight champion…” Ring announcer is one of those roles that has sadly disappeared over the past few years. We no longer announce the name, weight and hometown of every wrestler. Which means that we no longer have wrestlers hailing from Parts Unknown with Weight Unknown. Takes all the fun out of the sport.
That is going to be it for this week. Next week I will post the 15 influential cultural events of my lifetime so that I can finally put that topic to rest. I’ll also probably have a few more tales from my life to share as well. Even I can’t say what will happen next.
Staying on the geek front: the FBI wants to know who leaked the Wolverine movie to the web. The rest of us just want to know why the movie sucks. I haven’t watched the leaked footage of course as that would be wrong but like all fanboys I can safely say without laying eyes on the film that it is a horrible misrepresentation of the character and in no way captures the nuances of Logan. Nor does it answer the question as to why claws are considered to be such an awesome weapon. It’s like he can punch you but now it is sharper. Never saw how that could compete with the guy who could blast you with laser beams from a block away.
The new laptop has been working out rather well for me. Screen resolution looks absolutely amazing but I have to tweak the sound settings a little. I’ve made some progress on the CD conversion front as I’ve ripped about 100 of them to my hard drive (again, I feel no guilt in copying music that I legally purchased to another medium for my own personal use. I’m just against artists getting no compensation for what they do). I am sadly at war with the machine on some fronts as my Zune wasn’t recognized (mainly because no one knows what one is) and my printer has apparently become self aware and is balking at any sort of changes to be made. Or at least it is now jamming for no apparent reason. One of those situations where it is easier to just turn the machine off then try to problem solve at the moment.
(Though I still think the keys on this keyboard are still a few centimeters out of alignment. It will take a while before my fingers naturally find their proper home on the keys.)
This weekend is Wrestlemania 25 and I will have to miss it due to a prior commitment. (Want to know when my life has taken a turn so amazing and unexpected that it astounds even me? When something comes up that I feel trumps Wrestlemania.) While I am disappointed that Koko B. Ware is making the Hall of Fame I am pleased that the Von Erichs, The Funks, and Howard Finkel are all being inducted this year. Especially Finkel who has been the ring announcer since, well, for as long as I have been watching wrestling. They’ve phased him out a bit over the past few years which is sad as there is no one better at saying “Your winner and NEW heavyweight champion…” Ring announcer is one of those roles that has sadly disappeared over the past few years. We no longer announce the name, weight and hometown of every wrestler. Which means that we no longer have wrestlers hailing from Parts Unknown with Weight Unknown. Takes all the fun out of the sport.
That is going to be it for this week. Next week I will post the 15 influential cultural events of my lifetime so that I can finally put that topic to rest. I’ll also probably have a few more tales from my life to share as well. Even I can’t say what will happen next.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
A year in the life
This week marks a very interesting anniversary for me. It was a year ago this week that I spent my first days as someone gainfully unemployed. Yes, as amazing as it sounds it was a year ago last Friday that I said goodbye to the Sprint campus for the last time, gladly accepted my separation package and moved on with my life. Have to say it has been a rather amazing year.
I do miss being unemployed especially given that I was being paid to do so. One of the things that I’ve learned is that my body clock really doesn’t correspond well to that of a typical office environment and it was so incredibly nice to just wake up whenever I felt like it and stay up until I was too tired to do anything else. It was so nice to just make up my own schedule and live by it. That doesn’t even factor in the thrill of walking to a coffee shop in the middle of the day just because you have nothing else to do and have decided to go outside.
It is strange that I did not accomplish more while I wasn’t working but I had reasons. I did make progress on writing a novel (somewhere around 12,000 words written, some of which is actually worth keeping) but I fell off the pace as my life went into another direction. I also did not achieve my goal of watching every Star Wars film in order in one sitting or completing a 5,000 piece jigsaw puzzle single handedly. I still plan on doing both of those tasks even if neither of them are goals that you should admit to in polite company.
But even with that I still did exactly what I wanted to do with my time off. I needed to get away from everything for a while and just focus on myself. After years spent in cubicles it was nice to just have time on my hands. My life became much more interesting, I met more people and I began to realize just what I wanted out of life. Sure, work was nice but it was not what made me who I am.
I’ll also admit that I benefitted from some wonderful timing, personal flexibility and unbelievable luck. As opposed to a lot of the people who left Sprint with me I wasn’t tied to Kansas City. I could move wherever I wanted to (though I still don’t understand how with all of those options I ended up in Delaware). I also got out before the entire market collapsed and companies were still hiring. But luckiest of all I still kept my skill set in the energy business up to date and was able to go back to my old field being hired just as my severance ran out. You couldn’t time it better.
I love my new job but I do miss that ability to do whatever I want. I never had those years in your early twenties where you spend a year travelling the country finding yourself. I started working a month after I graduated (which I did in the four year minimum). I needed to go on a walkabout; a mental one at the least. I’m still trying to find that right balance where I can hit my career goals while staying true to myself and what I find important. Maybe that is the next big challenge of my life.
I really can’t believe that a year has gone by already. I had no idea that I would be here now but I know that if it wasn’t for what I accomplished in those few months I would not be at the point in my life that I am right now. And given that I have spent the past few months smiling every day thinking about just how lucky I am just shows that I made one of the best decisions of my life last year.
Wednesday Night Music Club: I’m going with a rather rare Damien Rice track tonight. Always worth a listen.
I do miss being unemployed especially given that I was being paid to do so. One of the things that I’ve learned is that my body clock really doesn’t correspond well to that of a typical office environment and it was so incredibly nice to just wake up whenever I felt like it and stay up until I was too tired to do anything else. It was so nice to just make up my own schedule and live by it. That doesn’t even factor in the thrill of walking to a coffee shop in the middle of the day just because you have nothing else to do and have decided to go outside.
It is strange that I did not accomplish more while I wasn’t working but I had reasons. I did make progress on writing a novel (somewhere around 12,000 words written, some of which is actually worth keeping) but I fell off the pace as my life went into another direction. I also did not achieve my goal of watching every Star Wars film in order in one sitting or completing a 5,000 piece jigsaw puzzle single handedly. I still plan on doing both of those tasks even if neither of them are goals that you should admit to in polite company.
But even with that I still did exactly what I wanted to do with my time off. I needed to get away from everything for a while and just focus on myself. After years spent in cubicles it was nice to just have time on my hands. My life became much more interesting, I met more people and I began to realize just what I wanted out of life. Sure, work was nice but it was not what made me who I am.
I’ll also admit that I benefitted from some wonderful timing, personal flexibility and unbelievable luck. As opposed to a lot of the people who left Sprint with me I wasn’t tied to Kansas City. I could move wherever I wanted to (though I still don’t understand how with all of those options I ended up in Delaware). I also got out before the entire market collapsed and companies were still hiring. But luckiest of all I still kept my skill set in the energy business up to date and was able to go back to my old field being hired just as my severance ran out. You couldn’t time it better.
I love my new job but I do miss that ability to do whatever I want. I never had those years in your early twenties where you spend a year travelling the country finding yourself. I started working a month after I graduated (which I did in the four year minimum). I needed to go on a walkabout; a mental one at the least. I’m still trying to find that right balance where I can hit my career goals while staying true to myself and what I find important. Maybe that is the next big challenge of my life.
I really can’t believe that a year has gone by already. I had no idea that I would be here now but I know that if it wasn’t for what I accomplished in those few months I would not be at the point in my life that I am right now. And given that I have spent the past few months smiling every day thinking about just how lucky I am just shows that I made one of the best decisions of my life last year.
Wednesday Night Music Club: I’m going with a rather rare Damien Rice track tonight. Always worth a listen.
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