Without laws we have anarchy. I don’t care what anyone says in that if we are all placed on an island paradise that we would naturally live in harmony. In that case it is only a matter of time before we all gang up on the fat kid with glasses. This is as true in the online world as in reality. Hence, I feel that it is my duty to set up some ground rules for proper Facebook usage.
Now I’ve been on Facebook for a little more than a year now after fleeing MySpace due to an abundance of friend requests from half naked women who were rather enthusiastic in my meeting them via their webcam at an acceptable rate. And I have to say that I was a huge fan of Facebook last year especially given that I was unemployed for most of it. At the start every single person on my friend list was someone that I actually knew well. As time passed I started having people from high school find me and that was rather cool to start. But then suddenly more and more of my past became a part of my friend list. People who I haven’t spoken to in twenty years, people who weren’t my friends when I actually knew them, heck, people I don’t think I actually ever knew are now all part of my online life. And thanks to Facebook I get to hear about every single thing they ever do.
So for the sanity of myself and others I would like to propose the following rules regarding proper Facebook etiquette.
Rule # 1: No one cares about the quiz you just took: For the love of God, I really could care less what Breakfast Club character you are most like, or when some internet program says that you are going to die or any other stupid quiz that you are taking and then telling me about. Not only is it not telling me anything about you but it is making me think less of you as a human being. See, instead of determining who you are through reflection and introspection you are relying on badly phrased internet quizzes with a pop culture glaze. After a certain age (meaning anyone who is not technically a sixteen year old girl) you should not be taking these quizzes and certainly not discussing them in public. It just shows that you have nothing better to do with your free time.
Rule # 2: I care slightly more about your top five but not much: I actually can find it interesting when people list their five favorite movies or tv shows or sport teams. I have that in my profile and can’t blame others for doing it as well. However, if you are going to unleash your top five on the rest of your friend list please actually list five distinct items. If you are going to list your five favorite sports teams and list the Cubs for all of them I am going to have negative feelings towards you due to a) your lack of creativity and b) your support of a bad franchise.
Rule # 3: If you are going to write a note, write an actual note: This has actually died down in recent weeks now that the 25 Random Things meme has run its course. I still however see people filling out strange online forms and forwarding it to everyone else in an attempt to blog without doing any of the actual work. See, writing notes is meant to be a substitute for writing a blog and those of us in the blogging community like to have standards. Not very high, as anyone who has followed this site for the four and a half years it has been running will surely know, but we do have standards. Just be yourself and write what you are thinking and what you want to express. It is much more interesting than whatever quiz you are filling out. That is why the 25 Random Things were interesting; you had to actually think for a minute before writing them.
Rule # 4: If you wouldn’t recognize me if I passed you on the street, don’t tag me in a picture: I put this rule in due to the fact that I spent a portion of last week looking at a coworker’s pictures from her senior prom. I wasn’t searching these out; they were actually on my Facebook front page. She didn’t post them but she was tagged in them. Everyone needs to remember that your social circle on Facebook contains friends and family and coworkers and more than a few bosses. It is rather disconcerting to know that everyone you know can see what you looked like at a time in your life that you would rather forget. So think before you tag.
Rule # 5: Facebook status updates should either be informative or funny: Meaning I want to either a) know what you are doing right now or b) get a chuckle out of your one liner. I do not want to hear about your political leanings or deal with profanity laden tirades. Again, some of us are on Facebook at work so watch the language. I do my best to aim for pun laden humor and if you are going to force others to know about every moment of your life you should at least make it interesting. Caveat: promoting your blog is always acceptable on Facebook especially in an effort to get one more comment on your page.
Just five rules. Please abide by them or otherwise Facebook will become Friendster in six months. I think it is already on its way there.
Your musical selection for the night: Typically I do Best of 120 Minutes here but this song is so awesome that I have to post it now. Jack White is beginning to sell me on his genius.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) The Drovers “Kill Mice Elf”
2) Veruca Salt “American Thighs”
3) Bruce Springsteen “Human Touch”
4) Uncle Tupelo “89/93 An Anthology”
5) Lyle Lovett “I Love Everybody”
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