8:00 P.M.: And we are coming to you live from the political wing of Battling the Current headquarters for another in the weekly editions of the Barack Obama press conference. For the record, in 100 days we have had three press conferences and one address to congress. That is a little bit of overkill don’t you think? Also, when the president enters the room I would think that instead of Hail to the Chief we should have a funk band playing the president in and out. We need to bring the presidency in to the 21st century.
8:03 P.M.: Yes, your president just reminded you to cover your mouth when you cough. We are also reminded to look both ways before you cross the street, put on a sweater and to remember to wear clean underwear.
8:08 P.M.: It would be nice if someone could explain to me exactly why this hundred day milestone is considered so important. It really is just a random number that is chosen because it happens to be a nice, round number. Sure, it is nice to have a milestone but it really is rather meaningless.
8:10 P.M.: I do love the fact that we are essentially asking whether we should start looting in response to the flu. Hopefully at some point we will be given the official notice to begin panicking. And despite the fact that my company has decided to officially allow us to wear surgical masks in the office (I’m not making that up. I got an email on it this afternoon.) I still don’t think this is the right time. And again, he is telling us to wash our hands.
8:16 P.M.: I still think that we could solve all of Detroit’s problems by adding giant tail fins to all new cars. Wouldn’t you buy a new car if it came with awesome tail fins? And can we add in a pair of fuzzy dice with every new purchase? Either that or one of those Playboy bunny air fresheners.
8:20 P.M.: The torture debate is one of those strange ones in terms of logic. Now I am against torture as I am a firm believer in that the US needs to be based on justice and not vengeance. I also am not entirely sold that torture is very effective in providing information without causing damage on many fronts. But here is the issue. We say torture is wrong. We state that waterboarding is torture. We admit that we waterboarded. But we do not prosecute the people who did so because it was legal at the time. So in essence, torture is illegal unless we say it isn’t. I still haven’t wrapped my head around that one.
8:24 P.M.: When did everyone decide to change the pronunciation of Pakistan. It used to be Pack-istan and now it is Pa-kiss-stan. It’s like the president is trying to sound British or something. I’m more concerned in this matter than in our foreign policy strategy in the region.
8:30 P.M.: For those people who are not from Pennsylvania (or from Delaware after having realized that there is no local news network in the entire state of Delaware) here is the main reason why Arlen Spector switched parties. Arlen is up for reelection in 2010 and in the polls against his likely republican primary opponent he is losing by something like 15 points. It is easier for him to be reelected by changing his party to Democrat without changing the way he would vote on any single issue.
8:34 P.M.: Woo hoo! A Notre Dame shout out! Oh, it is about the commencement speech. As several people have asked me about this as a Notre Dame alum and as a catholic here is my stance on it. I have no issue with Obama speaking and I also have no issue with any of the protests that will occur. I do consider it an honor that the president is speaking at my school as it has been in the past when it has occurred. But I also believe in the power of free speech and the ability to speak your mind. So when Bush spoke there were protests and when Obama speaks there will be protests. It would have been nice if during his answer he would have mentioned Notre Dame at all instead of just providing his campaign spiel.
8:43 P.M.: Swine Flu Fun Fact # 47: Much like Turkey Bacon is the healthy but less tasty version of regular bacon the Turkey Flu will give you many of the same symptoms as the swine flu at a slightly higher cost but in the end you will still feel like something is missing.
8:48 P.M.: Dear God is this boring. After a full day in the office listening to an hour of policy talk is just horrendous. I hate to say this but even I can understand how American Idol would be viewed as more exciting than this. Sure, I’ll take this over another episode of According to Jim but then again I would lose a limb as opposed to have to watch that show again.
8:56 P.M.: Ok, I’m going to call it a night. Remember to drink your orange juice! And for the love of God, floss!
Wednesday Night Music Club: Ok, I must give Comcast credit for listening to my online rants and at least offering to help. That is a level of customer service I was not anticipating. In honor of that I would like to go back to the good old days when we would complain about having 57 channels and nothing on. Now it is more like two hundred but the feelings are still the same.
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