Sunday, December 28, 2008

You can't get there from here

Like many people, my holidays were spent in a nerve racking attempt to actually get to where I was meant to be followed by the stressful gift giving experience. Now that I am safe and sound (and tremendously bored) in Delaware, I guess I can provide the full story.

I originally had an evening flight on Tuesday from Philadelphia to Chicago. However, thanks to the fact that in my new job I have a meteorologist on staff I was able to get the latest forecast and switched to a morning flight. Yes, I now have a meteorologist on call as opposed to the astrologer on call that I had at Sprint. While the accuracy level has increased I no longer get to have conversations where I answer questions with “Well, you’re the astrologer. Aren’t you supposed to know these things in advance?”

So I head to the airport on Tuesday morning and can I just say that the construction at the Philly airport around the Southwest check in is the most inane imaginable. It will be awesome when it is done but right now you have no clue where you are going other than you will be stuck in a long line to get your bags checked. Once I checked in and got passed security I did something that indicates that I travel way too much. I went from Terminal D (where my flight was) to Terminal B just because I like the Dunkin Donuts in Terminal B more than the Dunkin Donuts in Terminal D. There is logic in that statement but damn if I can find it.

But my flight takes off on time and I am relaxing on my way home. It even looks like we’ll be in ten minutes early as we start our descent. Slight problem though as I know how long the descent should take and we were in the air much longer. This is finally explained as the snow has hit Chicago and no one can land and we were now circling South Bend. We circle for a while as I remember that planes do not have infinite fuel and finally we are all told that our flight is being diverted to Omaha.

Now I wasn’t really planning on spending my holidays in Omaha. Like a good engineer I immediately start working on contingency plans. I figure that if I ended up stuck in Omaha I could probably get a flight to KC and then make my way to Chicago from there and if not, well, I at least know people (and more importantly, bartenders) in town. However, given that I didn’t want to spend Christmas in Kansas City when I lived there I was pleased when we just refueled on the tarmac, flew back to Chicago, and I was able to get home even if it was much later than I had hoped.

The holidays themselves went fine. Spent a lot of time with my family and played the favorite uncle, which is my role in all family functions. I did not receive either of the gifts that I was hoping for this year. I did not find the Tila Tequila tome under the tree. Yes, Tila Tequila has written a book. Ok, she has dictated a book. Or more accurately someone wrote a book, she looked at it and went, “what do all of those squiggly lines mean?” and they went ahead and published it with her name on it. I also did not receive a Lexus with a large red bow on it and if watching television this month has taught me anything it is that without a Lexus with a large red bow on it my life is completely meaningless.

(Though on those commercials remind me to never date any woman who received a pony for Christmas as a kid. Seriously, no matter what you do, no matter what you spend, all you will ever hear is “my daddy got me a pony for Christmas one year.” How are you supposed to top that? You don’t need to buy a car; you need to buy a Transformer.)

However, I have no complaints about my gifts as what I did receive was even better than what I had hoped for. Yes, I received a copy of The Bro Code written by Barney Stinson himself. I am not making this up at all. I am immensely proud of having this piece of literature on my shelf.

So after spending days with my family I made my way to the airport on Friday to fly back out. This was a bit of an issue as an ice storm overnight made the roads impassable for a time and put all of the flights way out of whack. It is never good when you look at the departures board and you don’t even see times; just the word Delayed repeated over and over again. I picked up my customary lunch of an Italian Beef sandwich (I can only get those in Chicago) and made myself a spot on the floor. Luckily, my plane was coming in from Oakland and was actually vaguely on time. I boarded my plane all ready to make it back to the east coast.

Except that they were making a crew change and the other pilots weren’t here yet. Then they started to disturbingly remove bags from the plane. Then there was a sudden rush of new passengers as the later flight was cancelled and they tried to get everyone on my flight. All of this while the fog kept on getting worse and worse. Finally we were able to get up in the air and after a later check realized that I had one of the last flights out of the airport before they had to close because of the weather, which means that I shouldn’t complain too much about the whole situation given that there are other people still stuck at the airport.

So I was lucky in that I was able to get into and out of Chicago ok but it was more than a bit harrowing. But still, this is the holidays and I will gladly suffer the hours spent on cramped planes and unexpected road trips to Nebraska just so I could spend a few days with my family. It makes it all worthwhile.

Best of 120 Minutes: Ah, Sleater-Kinney. Proof that you do not need to be in tune or even know how to play your instruments to make up a kick ass rock band. Somehow going to the University of Delaware campus to see bands like this just doesn’t carry the same panache as going to Lawrence. Anyway, if you are like me and have to work tomorrow here is pretty much what I’ll be doing all day.

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