Note to Notre Dame: So if I did a crappy job as a student for four years would I also get a trip to Hawaii? Just curious because if that is true then I worked way too hard in business school.
Per the comment on my last post: No, I did not call her while I was in New Orleans. I was gone for a week and since we had talked just before I left I didn’t feel it was really necessary to talk. We weren’t at the talk every day point and besides, I was insanely busy with what I was doing, which in the year post-Katrina was a lot less of what I would typically do in Nola. I’ll never claim that I am faultless in the downfall of any relationship (hell, I’m probably the cause of most of them) but breaking up with a guy immediately after he spends a week doing volunteer work seemed especially cold hearted.
I’ll continue to post some dating stories and a few other similar pieces on the weekends. I like having a bit of a longer format and I take more time in the proofreading that way. While part of the reason why I’m posting them is because since I’ve moved I don’t expect much in terms of potential blowback there is another reason. While I used to put these in my writer’s journal (something that everyone else would call a diary) I now only really keep the blog. So I don’t have these written down anywhere and I would like them stored for posterity. Why, I don’t know. Maybe I just have a fetish for public embarrassment.
Anyway, so I’ve been having a bunch of nightmares recently. Ok, maybe not nightmares but at least rather stressful dreams. I tend not to have blue tentacle monsters trying to devour my soul in my dreams. However, I do have the dream where I have two papers to write and a massive test to prepare for in two days, which I have discussed a lot in the past. But more and more I have been having the following one.
I am driving a car that is barreling out of control and it is readily apparent that I have no idea as to how to drive. I either steer lazily, running into cars on the side of the road, or for some reason I find myself driving the car from the backseat so that while I can steer stopping is a bit of a challenge. Now I never crash in these dreams and find myself with the airbags deployed and my spleen now forcibly moved eight feet left of where it was previously located. In fact, from what I can tell no one gets hurt, my car continues to run, and I never have to face a police officer regarding the immense destruction that I am unleashing upon the land. I just whip about uncontrollably while I freak out about it.
Pretty clear what this one means. There are times when I feel that my life is completely out of my control. I’m in one of those moments right now. I guess passenger in a runaway car is a good description of it. There are a lot of things going on in my life and some of them I have no control over and the ones that I do have influence on for some reason I’m not even bothering to me. I’m just letting myself sit there and freak out about it. At least it is nice to know that my subconscious warns me about this. Then maybe I can figure out how to address it.
Best of 120 Minutes: The video that best depicts my life as a teenager. Or more accurately how I wish my life was as a teenager: hanging out at Sonic Youth shows and hooking up with a cute girl in a Nirvana t-shirt. Sigh. Why didn’t anyone just grab me by the back of the neck and force me to these shows when I was younger? Who let me spend all my time studying and listening to music in headphones? Well, that was me but seriously when I build my time machine (and that is when, not if) first thing I am going to do is go back in time to kick my own ass.
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