Sunday, December 14, 2008

Holiday spirit (Bah Humbug edition)

Lots of holiday related thoughts on my mind as I actually did some Christmas shopping today. I mean, I could wait until Christmas morning and make my purchases at Walgreens like I usually do but I thought that I would try this year. Anyway, here are some thoughts on the season so far.

1) Did Jesus ever get pissed for having his birthday on Christmas? He was screwed out of presents every year and even when he did get something it was completely useless. Myrrh? How about a big wheel instead?

2) A few weeks ago I did my Holiday Viewing Guide and I was very upset that my favorite Christmas special was not scheduled to be aired on any network throughout the entire season. How can I make it through the month of December without watching Emmitt Otter’s Jugband Christmas? How are children today supposed to learn the importance of not putting a hole in the washtub or the wonders of forming your own bluegrass band? This was a true favorite of mine: a Muppet retelling of the O. Henry story featuring otters. What can be more Christmas than that? Ok, the California Raisins Christmas Special, which featured singing camels, but nothing else.

3) I read online today that KB Toys has filed for bankruptcy for like the twelfth time and is now closing its stores. When you can’t make money in a toy store at Christmas you can tell that the economy is bad. That said, KB Toys was the mall toy store you never really wanted to shop at. There was no order, you always had those yapping plastic dogs running around and for some reason everything seemed to have been made out of the cheapest material possible. I much preferred Toys R Us for my shopping escapades.

4) Oh, speaking of companies taking economic hits I finally realized which company is suffering the most this holiday season. The makers of the giant red bows you place on top of new cars must be tearing their hair out right now. I know that many people are against the Detroit bailout but think about the giant red bow manufacturing industry! If there is anything more American than a superfluous red bow on a large piece of machinery I know not of it.

5) I have been having a huge problem getting into the holiday spirit. It’s not because I’m a Grinch (look, having a heart three sizes too small isn’t that unusual); I think it is more due to my situation. Part of it is that I have absolutely no Christmas decorations up in my apartment. That is one of those things that happens when you are single and live alone. The idea of buying, much less putting up, a tree when you are the only who will see it seems kind of silly. But not having lights or stockings up means that my apartment looks no different than it does any other time of the year.

6) The other issue is one of location. It is not as much that I am away from my family but that for six years now I have been living in places where winter isn’t really winter. We’ve had two snowfalls in Delaware so far and they have both melted the next day (though still being severe enough to send people skidding off the road apparently). I can’t feel as though it is Christmas if I look out and everything is nice and clear. I have no idea how people in Florida handle this time of year. Christmas means snow on the ground and sweaters and shoveling driveways. I don’t really miss that I now avoid the below zero wind chills of my native Chicago but I really do miss the snow.

Best of 120 Minutes: In keeping with the Christmas theme, it is time for my yearly posting of Do They Know It’s Christmas. This year I’ll post the Band Aid 20 version because I don’t think anyone has ever actually heard this version. I’ll still say that this is one of the best songs ever written. It still puts a chill up my spine.

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