I’ve been on a bit of a Nick Hornby kick as of late in terms of my reading habits. I just finished Slam, his latest novel. Sure, it’s technically a young adult novel, which makes the fact that it took me weeks to read the darn thing rather depressing, but it still made for a fun read. Also, I can’t complain about any book in which Rufus Wainwright plays a pivotal role. Right now I’m reading The Polysyllabic Spree, which is a collection of his essays where he discusses what books he bought and read every month. So I am reading a book about what books someone else has read. It’s kind of bizarre when you think about it but then again right now I’m hoping that people will read something I wrote about something I read.
What I’d rather touch upon is the fact that I go on these runs where all I do is read one author. If I find an author that I like I will quickly read every book he wrote. Or she wrote as I did spend one summer reading every Sarah Vowell book out there. I’m never sure if that is a good thing or not. I’ve ended up with a lot of books by a rather small number of authors. I’m still well read in the classical sense (especially for someone who never had a class above English 103) but I just get a sense that there are huge gaps in my base.
So, since it looks like I’ll have a great deal of free time on my hands in the coming months I’m looking for book suggestions. Pretty much anything and everything is fair game. I’d prefer fiction just because I’ve spent a lot of time reading non-fiction recently and I want a change. With many of my favorite authors being between books I need some ideas as to where to focus next. Humor is always appreciated, male versions of Bridget Jones are also acceptable as I’m just going to end up writing one of those books anyway but mainly I just want something that is different than what I usually would pick up. Make your suggestions in the comments.
As you can probably guess I’m pretty low on topics tonight. Mainly I’m looking forward to tomorrow as it only occurs once every four years. Well, tomorrow occurs more than once every four years. It happens every day as long as things go according to plan. But Leap Day is fun because it gives us one more day of February to enjoy. This is the best we can do with our calendar, occasionally we have to toss an extra day in there. Still better than in the 1700s when they actually eliminated a week and a half from the books. (True story: calendars were so off that ten days just disappeared.) It’s at times like this I feel like we should have gone to metric calendars. Would have made everything much simpler.
Or we could have just used the Mayan calendar. Sure it ends in 2012 but that’s not too big of a deal. It does make me question why everyone thinks the Mayans were such an advanced civilization. If they couldn’t come up with a calendar that didn’t crash at a certain date you have to wonder about their overall capabilities.
Oh well, enough for this week. Enjoy the weekend everyone.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Parking lot revelations
I went to Borders over lunch today and in the parking lot I saw a car with a bumper sticker that read “In case of rapture the car is yours”. For the record, the car was a 1998 Ford Escort. See, this is what bugs me about the whole rapture experience. Not only is it going to cause a traffic nightmare for the rest of us but it will also leave a huge number of really crappy cars abandoned on the road. They won’t even be worth stealing.
In case the bumper sticker did not quite prove the theological point the owner was making he also had a decal of Calvin praying. You know, just in case the bumper sticker was too subtle. Now I don’t have a problem with what people believe and I do go to church so I don’t want to make this sound like a blanket statement against religion but I really do have a problem with things like this. If you can boil down your faith to the point that it fits on a bumper sticker then I think you have a serious problem. And if you feel this is the best way to show your faith to the world I think you are missing the point.
(My bigger theological issue on the whole rapture bumper stickers is this. Those bumper stickers indicate that the person driving the car knows the mind of God as their being saved is apparently guaranteed. However, attempting to claim knowledge of God’s ineffable plan is clearly a sin of pride and thus negates the bumper sticker. It’s quite a theological quandary.)
Since I’m writing about faith I’ll take some time to write a little about my view on the subject. I’m not an expert (though I do have a theologian on call for when the need arises) but this is how I feel. It might explain how someone who is a cynic and a skeptic and above all else a scientist can still keep the faith.
When I talk to people about faith I don’t care what they believe in or whether they believe at all. The important point to me is that they have thought about the question and have come up with an answer for themselves. It bothers me when people believe something solely because they were taught it while growing up. I was also taught that the tooth fairy exists but I gave up that belief ten years ago (ok, five). If you’ve thought about the subject, looked into your soul and came up with an answer, I feel that you are on the right path no matter what you choose. Here is my story.
I was really spiritual growing up all through high school and college. Always went to church and followed the rules. In my early twenties I got more and more disillusioned by what I saw. I disagreed with sermons and policies and what was said wasn’t matching what I believed so I stopped going to church. I still was spiritual but the rituals had lost their meaning and I decided that I would go back to church when I had come up with a reason to go back.
About two years later I still hadn’t returned. Then one night while writing in my journal I typed “You know, I think I was a better person when I went to church.” There was my answer. I knew it was true, couldn’t explain it but I knew it was true. The act of attending and giving up time helped me recognize the type of person I wanted to be. So I started attending again and haven’t stopped.
The scientist in me wonders at time how I can believe in something I cannot prove. Then I look at the world around me and look at all the wonders and see the beauty in the equations that lie behind it all and go “there has to be something bigger than me out there.” I think that is what I believe at the end of the day and I don’t feel like trying to express that on a bumper sticker.
Wednesday Night Music Club: I figure Mindy Smith fits well with the topic tonight. I’ll give her the last word.
In case the bumper sticker did not quite prove the theological point the owner was making he also had a decal of Calvin praying. You know, just in case the bumper sticker was too subtle. Now I don’t have a problem with what people believe and I do go to church so I don’t want to make this sound like a blanket statement against religion but I really do have a problem with things like this. If you can boil down your faith to the point that it fits on a bumper sticker then I think you have a serious problem. And if you feel this is the best way to show your faith to the world I think you are missing the point.
(My bigger theological issue on the whole rapture bumper stickers is this. Those bumper stickers indicate that the person driving the car knows the mind of God as their being saved is apparently guaranteed. However, attempting to claim knowledge of God’s ineffable plan is clearly a sin of pride and thus negates the bumper sticker. It’s quite a theological quandary.)
Since I’m writing about faith I’ll take some time to write a little about my view on the subject. I’m not an expert (though I do have a theologian on call for when the need arises) but this is how I feel. It might explain how someone who is a cynic and a skeptic and above all else a scientist can still keep the faith.
When I talk to people about faith I don’t care what they believe in or whether they believe at all. The important point to me is that they have thought about the question and have come up with an answer for themselves. It bothers me when people believe something solely because they were taught it while growing up. I was also taught that the tooth fairy exists but I gave up that belief ten years ago (ok, five). If you’ve thought about the subject, looked into your soul and came up with an answer, I feel that you are on the right path no matter what you choose. Here is my story.
I was really spiritual growing up all through high school and college. Always went to church and followed the rules. In my early twenties I got more and more disillusioned by what I saw. I disagreed with sermons and policies and what was said wasn’t matching what I believed so I stopped going to church. I still was spiritual but the rituals had lost their meaning and I decided that I would go back to church when I had come up with a reason to go back.
About two years later I still hadn’t returned. Then one night while writing in my journal I typed “You know, I think I was a better person when I went to church.” There was my answer. I knew it was true, couldn’t explain it but I knew it was true. The act of attending and giving up time helped me recognize the type of person I wanted to be. So I started attending again and haven’t stopped.
The scientist in me wonders at time how I can believe in something I cannot prove. Then I look at the world around me and look at all the wonders and see the beauty in the equations that lie behind it all and go “there has to be something bigger than me out there.” I think that is what I believe at the end of the day and I don’t feel like trying to express that on a bumper sticker.
Wednesday Night Music Club: I figure Mindy Smith fits well with the topic tonight. I’ll give her the last word.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
I'll leave this world of toil and trouble...
Interview Note: Apparently I’m still pretty rusty when it comes to interviews. It wasn’t the worst interview that I’ve ever had but it definitely wasn’t an A+ effort on my part. I didn’t stumble over questions regarding my career aspirations but I don’t have those answers as fully formed as I would like. Hopefully I did enough to break through for a second interview. Otherwise it will be more time preparing for the future. I always hope that someone would hire me for just being smart but apparently they want other skills as well.
Final Oscar Note: I just discovered that former stripper and Oscar winner Diablo Cody went to a rival high school of mine a few years after I graduated. I still don’t know her but at least I now don’t know her in a much more personal way. Or at least I’m pretty sure I don’t know her. I would like to think that I would have remembered someone like her. Oh, and now people younger than me are winning screenplay Oscars. First Ben Affleck wins one and now this. I feel like such a slacker.
I have some very sad news to report tonight. My favorite music magazine of all time, No Depression, is going to stop publishing. This is a tough fact for me to face for a number of reasons. For one thing it was always my goal to write for No Depression though occasionally I’ll claim to have already written for it in order to impress women. (Look, I didn’t start that claim. It was mentioned on a website once and it kind of just took off from there.) I really considered it to be one of the best music magazines out there where the focus wasn’t on rating albums but on just discussing what they meant and how they made you feel.
But the big reason is that I fear that this might be a statement as to the longevity of my favorite music genre, which just happens to be called No Depression. Technically the Carter Family song came first and then the Uncle Tupelo album and then an AOL newsgroup and finally the magazine but in essence almost all of the music that I listen to has been described as No Depression. It was always difficult to describe. I sometimes use the phrase alt-country but that is a bit of a misnomer. Some of it is like Son Volt, country music with a rock tinge, while others are people like Willie Nelson, stuff that is so traditional country that it has become alternative. The No Depression is more of a state of mind than a sound. It’s fiercely independent, true to heart, lyrically brilliant music. Songs that someone can stand on stage in front of twenty people and sing because it truly is what they believe in.
I don’t think that the genre is dying per se (odds are the magazine business is a rather poor one to be in right now) but this is a blow for people like me. I learned about a lot of great bands by reading the magazine. I saw shows solely because of a blurb I read or, truth be told, a picture of a pretty female singer-songwriter in one of the ads. (To this day the only reason I go to see Eleni Mandell in concert is because of a picture I saw of her.) The magazine was run by people who weren’t bound to any corporate viewpoint; they all just loved music. There was no overlying agenda, no “You have to give the new Hootie and the Blowfish record three stars”, just great discussions of often overlooked acts. While Paste magazine has tried hard to reach the same audience I think that this will be a big gap in the music world. No Depression will definitely be missed.
Of course, I can always just rely on Maxim for my music commentary. They apparently gave the new Black Crowes album two and a half stars despite not actually having listened to it. I don’t know about you but even though I haven’t listened to it I would have to say that two and a half stars sounds about right to me.
Final Oscar Note: I just discovered that former stripper and Oscar winner Diablo Cody went to a rival high school of mine a few years after I graduated. I still don’t know her but at least I now don’t know her in a much more personal way. Or at least I’m pretty sure I don’t know her. I would like to think that I would have remembered someone like her. Oh, and now people younger than me are winning screenplay Oscars. First Ben Affleck wins one and now this. I feel like such a slacker.
I have some very sad news to report tonight. My favorite music magazine of all time, No Depression, is going to stop publishing. This is a tough fact for me to face for a number of reasons. For one thing it was always my goal to write for No Depression though occasionally I’ll claim to have already written for it in order to impress women. (Look, I didn’t start that claim. It was mentioned on a website once and it kind of just took off from there.) I really considered it to be one of the best music magazines out there where the focus wasn’t on rating albums but on just discussing what they meant and how they made you feel.
But the big reason is that I fear that this might be a statement as to the longevity of my favorite music genre, which just happens to be called No Depression. Technically the Carter Family song came first and then the Uncle Tupelo album and then an AOL newsgroup and finally the magazine but in essence almost all of the music that I listen to has been described as No Depression. It was always difficult to describe. I sometimes use the phrase alt-country but that is a bit of a misnomer. Some of it is like Son Volt, country music with a rock tinge, while others are people like Willie Nelson, stuff that is so traditional country that it has become alternative. The No Depression is more of a state of mind than a sound. It’s fiercely independent, true to heart, lyrically brilliant music. Songs that someone can stand on stage in front of twenty people and sing because it truly is what they believe in.
I don’t think that the genre is dying per se (odds are the magazine business is a rather poor one to be in right now) but this is a blow for people like me. I learned about a lot of great bands by reading the magazine. I saw shows solely because of a blurb I read or, truth be told, a picture of a pretty female singer-songwriter in one of the ads. (To this day the only reason I go to see Eleni Mandell in concert is because of a picture I saw of her.) The magazine was run by people who weren’t bound to any corporate viewpoint; they all just loved music. There was no overlying agenda, no “You have to give the new Hootie and the Blowfish record three stars”, just great discussions of often overlooked acts. While Paste magazine has tried hard to reach the same audience I think that this will be a big gap in the music world. No Depression will definitely be missed.
Of course, I can always just rely on Maxim for my music commentary. They apparently gave the new Black Crowes album two and a half stars despite not actually having listened to it. I don’t know about you but even though I haven’t listened to it I would have to say that two and a half stars sounds about right to me.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Oscar wrap up
Since it’s my blog and I can do whatever the hell I want to do with it I’ve posted Glen and Marketa’s acceptance speeches. A lot of critics considered this the best moment of the Oscars. It wasn’t preorchestrated; it was a genuine instinct of Jon Stewart’s to bring Marketa back on stage and then she gives a rather wonderful little speech. It was the most memorable moment of what was a rather blah night.
I was trying to figure out first of all why the show went quicker than normal. I realized they didn’t show a single clip from the Best Picture nominees. Typically they show a minute clip from each one throughout the show along with an introduction. We also were lacking in production numbers (other than best song). No appearances from Cirque du Soleil or Stomp or Blue Man Group this year. That saved a lot of time.
Still it was the night of montages instead. From what I read since the writer’s strike ended so recently they didn’t have time to create much of a show so they relied on what was the backup plan: all montages all the time. I assume that is why I got to see Price Waterhouse Coopers offices. It did make for a rather boring ceremony. Stewart did his best but there really wasn’t much to work with this year.
As for best dressed I’m going to have to go with Amy Adams. I might be the only person to do this and I’m not sure why. It’s just that if you ask me what I remember besides best song it is that I realized how beautiful Amy Adams is. Plus, she wore green and no one else did. If I have to see another red dress again I am going to be very angry. I don’t really even have a worst dressed as no one came close to Kirsten Dunst’s schoolboy collar of last year. Even I considered that to be a bad idea.
Not much else to report today. Spent time in the office working on spreadsheets. I did listen to Marshall Crenshaw on the way to work. For the record, I look almost exactly like Marshall Crenshaw. That doesn’t say much for my hopes of a music career as the best I can hope for is looking like a guy who was able to play Buddy Holly in a movie once. But he plays nice pop songs so it was still fun to listen to during my commute.
Big news is that I have my first interview tomorrow as I try to figure out the next step my life is going to take. I’m still not sure if I’m qualified for this position or not. According to the job posting I have everything they are looking for and I’m a perfect match. However, that assumes that job postings properly represent what is required for a job and we know that is not always the case. It will be interesting that’s for sure. Wish me luck.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Oscar Blog 2008
6:44 P.M.: As you can see from the “Celebrities give our lives meaning” banner behind me we are coming to you live from the Battling the Current entertainment compound as we prepare to provide non-stop Oscar coverage. I’m joined by, well, no one in particular. But this doesn’t mean that I can’t provide snarky fashion comments while wearing a Notre Dame hockey t-shirt.
6:46 P.M.: As always, here is the setup. I’ll watch the Oscars and comment about anything and everything that catches my interest. Such as the fact that Harrison Ford is still wearing that stupid earring on the Barbara Walters special. Seriously, Han Solo with an earring. It’s at times like this that I wish that Greedo was a better shot.
6:56 P.M.: So when P. Diddy decides to be serious he is billed as Sean Combs. Interesting. I think hearing “The Oscar goes to Diddy would be brilliant.”
7:00 P.M.: Woo hoo, red carpet time! Hosted by Regis who can’t even be bothered to wear a bow tie tonight. Can’t make too much fun of him as he is a Domer and all.
7:02 P.M.: We start with George Clooney. I like to think that my hair is going gray in the same way that Clooney’s is. It helps me feel that I’m going to look distinguished as opposed to old. The fact that George and Regis just discussed the Notre Dame-Syracuse game is of interest to absolutely no one watching this.
7:06 P.M.: Laura Linney always looks stylish. She’s one of those actresses that no one ever includes on lists of best actresses but she tops pretty much everyone out there.
7:09 P.M.: Miley Cryus’ real name is Destiny Hope Cyrus. For the rest of my life I will probably remember that fact. That will be very sad five years from now when no one remembers who she is.
7:12 P.M.: Hey Mickey Rooney is still alive. Good for him.
7:17 P.M.: I have to say that Amy Adams looks really good tonight. Not sure why Regis is interviewing fans in the bleachers. So you have all of Hollywood’s royalty walking by and we talked to a nobody. That was a minute of my life I’ll never get back.
7:21 P.M.: The Price Waterhouse accountants get some airtime. Good to know all that time spent studying debits and credits can come in handy.
7:23 P.M.: Hillary Swank really should have a blurb “was The Next Karate Kid” under her whenever she talks.
7:31 P.M.: And we’re off with a bad CGI opening that looks like it came from a bad ride at Universal Studios. It’s a rather auspicious beginning. Help us Jon Stewart, you are our only hope.
7:37 P.M.: I was going to keep track of Jack Nicholson sightings but I think that I have already lost count. I think he just has a reserved seat in the front row. Even if he decides not to attend the ceremony they just put a cardboard cutout of him in the crowd.
7:42 P.M.: Jennifer Gardner’s hair looks really sloppy. Admittedly she is someone who alternately looks beautiful and like a giant robot intent on tearing your heart out but still, she should wear her hair up. Elizabeth wins for Best Costume Design as those films always win costume awards.
7:51 P.M.: I actually remembered the Rob Lowe-Snow White moment in Oscar history. It might have been the worst thing ever. As always Anne Hathaway looks incredible as no one should be that beautiful and have then name of Shakespeare’s wife. In the least surprising award of the night, Ratatouille wins best Animated Feature. Good because I can’t stand surfing penguins.
8:07 P.M.: When I think of acting I know that I think of The Rock. It’s rather amazing that more people know him as an actor now than as a guy who bent a folding chair across the head of a handcuffed Mick Foley. Well, even Mick doesn’t remember that any more. But really, The Rock as a presenter?
8:10 P.M.: Can’t give the best dressed award to Cate Blanchett but she looks gorgeous as always. Not only does she look flawless but she just holds herself in such an effortless manner. As if she rolls out of bed looking that amazing.
8:18 P.M.: In the first real award of the night, Javier Bardem wins for Best Supporting Actor. Good choice and any time a Coen Brothers film wins an award is a good thing.
8:29 P.M.: Owen Wilson always looks like he was just in a fight backstage. Maybe this is just a subliminal marketing campaign for Drillbit Taylor, in which he plays a bodyguard for high school students, but I have a bad feeling that someone jumped him backstage. Remind me to not date Kate Hudson if that is the end result.
8:31 P.M.: Did I just watch a tribute to bees in movies? This is going to be a very long night. However, anything that gets a clip from The Swarm onto an Oscar broadcast is good in my book.
8:38 P.M.: Holding up to tradition the Best Supporting Actress award is a complete surprise as Tilda Swinton wins for Michael Clayton. Big shock there as everyone was expecting either Ruby Dee or Cate Blanchett to win. Tilda looked very good in high def but that might be a result of my having a thing for red hair and green eyes. This might be a sign that we are in for an interesting night.
8:44 P.M.: So Jessica Alba got technical award duty this year. It’s a tradition that we make an up and coming starlet host it so that all the engineers get to, you know, see a beautiful woman for one moment in their life. While I have a hope of getting a screenplay written my best chance of winning an Oscar is developing some new camera technology and I haven’t been an engineer in nearly a decade.
8:47 P.M.: Adapted screenplay Oscar. Sarah Polley is nominated and she really should get a lot of respect for being a huge double threat. Can act and write and is attractive as hell as a result. Coen Brothers win so I’m giddy with excitement and as you can probably guess, I don’t often get giddy. I’ve been a Coen Brothers fan for ages and I’m always grateful when they win. Makes me feel that art can still be made in this world.
8:52 P.M.: PWC has really nice offices apparently. Remind me to drop off a resume there. Sure, being an accountant is for lack of a better term, boring but it looks like they have a pool. And once again, here is Miley Cyrus helping to draw that all important tween demographic.
9:06 P.M.: Apparently the Bourne Ultimatum has really good sound. I’ll watch the film with the picture off next time. Not that it will help me appreciate the sound any better but I would rather not have to watch Matt Damon for two straight hours.
9:08 P.M.: Wow, it’s only nine and we are already giving out the Best Actress award. This award typically doesn’t get handed out until around eleven in the evening. Yes! Marion Cotillard won for her portrayal of Edith Piaf. I was hoping that she would win because it was a pretty amazing portrayal of an amazing woman. Maybe not the most popular choice in terms of box office receipts but a definite top performance. I like seeing the unknowns win every once in a while.
9:18 P.M.: The moment I’ve been waiting for. Even the mention of the film Once gets a cheer from the crowd. You have to understand how big of a thrill this is for me. I’ve stood in front of the stage when Glen has played. His music has been what has been getting me through the past four years of my life. I can’t imagine what these past four years would have been like without his music in the background. To see him get to perform in front of the world is just amazing. You could tell how much he and Markeeta were enjoying just getting to perform. That’s how you gain acclaim without selling out.
9:28 P.M.: Does Renee Zelwigger even have eyes? Honestly, for all I know there is nothing behind those eyelashes. Well, we know that there is no brain behind the eyelashes but I’m wondering if she has a sensory organs at all. Also, there is a strange possibility that the film with the most Oscar wins tonight will be The Bourne Ultimatum. That’s a sad statement on the movie industry.
9:34 P.M.: Time for the honorary Oscar, which goes to Robert Boyle who did the design work for all of the Hitchcock films. Given how incredible those films were to look at I could see him getting a lifetime achievement award for his work. Just watch North by Northwest and you’ll understand how amazing it can be. Well, except for the fight on the top of a paper mache Mount Rushmore. That hasn’t aged well.
9:41 P.M.: Adam Corrolla and Steve Guttenberg on Dancing With the Stars? What could possibly go wrong? Also, can the words Guttenberg and Star be used in the same sentence? Isn’t that blatantly false advertising?
9:50 P.M.: Yes! This is unbelievable! I’ve now met an Oscar winner! Falling Slowly won for Best Song! You cannot believe how big of a smile that I have on my face right now. I mean, I’ve been a fan of The Frames for four years now and they were always my little secret. They were the best band that you had never heard of. Well, now people know who they are and it’s not because of some bad ballad. It’s because of a beautiful song. For once, I’m happy about who won best song.
9:57 P.M.: How cool is that. Jon Stewart even brought Markeeta back on stage so she could have a chance to say her thank yous. This great moments segues to Cameron Diaz looking as if she can’t move a single facial muscle. So let’s honor independent art and following your dreams by featuring a member of the Charlie’s Angels cast.
10:01 P.M.: Time for the annual dead person montage. Also showing that death, much like life, is a popularity contest. The smattering of applause for certain names is always a bit disturbing. Heath Ledger gains the final spot and biggest applause. That’s what bothers me about this. I’d almost wish they would kill the audience sound so you wouldn’t hear the clapping. Are we trying to judge if Heath was more important than Ingmar Bergman? It never seems to be a remembrance, more like one last casting call.
10:15 P.M.: Is it me or does Tom Hanks look rather haggard tonight? He just seems a bit worse for wear and I don’t know if I have ever seen him look anything other than perfect.
10:25 P.M.: Cool, Diablo Cody wins the Best Screenplay Oscar becoming the second former stripper (after Dame Judi Dench) to win an Oscar. For the record, no I don’t know her. At least I don’t think I do. But stories like hers gives me hope. A blogger who writes a script and gets it made and wins an Oscar. There might be hope for me yet.
10:34 P.M.: Daniel Day-Lewis wins his second Oscar for his performance in a film that I assume is about turn of the century malt shops. All I know is that it has something to do with milkshakes. Kind of surprising that a film that potentially takes place in a Baskin Robbins wins an Oscar. But I can’t complain about Daniel winning any award since he really inhabits a role. That and he grows a better mustache than anyone in Hollywood.
10:39 P.M.: Per the local news, giant snakes are about to invade Kansas City. Looks like I might be leaving just in time. I don’t think that this town has a St. Patrick in it.
10:43 P.M.: Another win for the Coen Brothers as they take Best Director as well. Or Best Directors, it’s a rather odd teaming. I’ve watched them since the days of Barton Fink. Not that I understand Barton Fink but hell, I even liked The Hudsucker Proxy. It’s you know, for kids.
10:45 P.M.: And let’s send it on home with Best Picture. The Oscar goes to “No Country for Old Men”, which I believe takes home the most Oscars on the night. Just shows that working from a Cormac McCarthy story is always a great way to make a wonderful movie. I still, uh, haven’t seen it but I’m sure that I will.
10:47 P.M.: That’s the show. Maybe not record time but it was definitely quicker than I expected. It was a strange year for the Oscars. There was no one big movie for everyone to get behind and even the nominated actors weren’t many of the big names. They were great performers but you didn’t have a Nicole Kidman or Julia Roberts nominated this year. The degree of glamour just didn’t match up. I’m not sure if I even have a worst dressed choice this year. That said, I can’t complain at all. Falling Slowly won an Oscar for Best Song. What can be better than that?
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Mary Chapin Carpenter “Come On, Come On”
2) Marshall Crenshaw “This Is It”
3) Tori Amos “Little Earthquakes”
4) Allison Moorer “Show”
5) The Waco Brothers “Do You Think About Me?”
6:46 P.M.: As always, here is the setup. I’ll watch the Oscars and comment about anything and everything that catches my interest. Such as the fact that Harrison Ford is still wearing that stupid earring on the Barbara Walters special. Seriously, Han Solo with an earring. It’s at times like this that I wish that Greedo was a better shot.
6:56 P.M.: So when P. Diddy decides to be serious he is billed as Sean Combs. Interesting. I think hearing “The Oscar goes to Diddy would be brilliant.”
7:00 P.M.: Woo hoo, red carpet time! Hosted by Regis who can’t even be bothered to wear a bow tie tonight. Can’t make too much fun of him as he is a Domer and all.
7:02 P.M.: We start with George Clooney. I like to think that my hair is going gray in the same way that Clooney’s is. It helps me feel that I’m going to look distinguished as opposed to old. The fact that George and Regis just discussed the Notre Dame-Syracuse game is of interest to absolutely no one watching this.
7:06 P.M.: Laura Linney always looks stylish. She’s one of those actresses that no one ever includes on lists of best actresses but she tops pretty much everyone out there.
7:09 P.M.: Miley Cryus’ real name is Destiny Hope Cyrus. For the rest of my life I will probably remember that fact. That will be very sad five years from now when no one remembers who she is.
7:12 P.M.: Hey Mickey Rooney is still alive. Good for him.
7:17 P.M.: I have to say that Amy Adams looks really good tonight. Not sure why Regis is interviewing fans in the bleachers. So you have all of Hollywood’s royalty walking by and we talked to a nobody. That was a minute of my life I’ll never get back.
7:21 P.M.: The Price Waterhouse accountants get some airtime. Good to know all that time spent studying debits and credits can come in handy.
7:23 P.M.: Hillary Swank really should have a blurb “was The Next Karate Kid” under her whenever she talks.
7:31 P.M.: And we’re off with a bad CGI opening that looks like it came from a bad ride at Universal Studios. It’s a rather auspicious beginning. Help us Jon Stewart, you are our only hope.
7:37 P.M.: I was going to keep track of Jack Nicholson sightings but I think that I have already lost count. I think he just has a reserved seat in the front row. Even if he decides not to attend the ceremony they just put a cardboard cutout of him in the crowd.
7:42 P.M.: Jennifer Gardner’s hair looks really sloppy. Admittedly she is someone who alternately looks beautiful and like a giant robot intent on tearing your heart out but still, she should wear her hair up. Elizabeth wins for Best Costume Design as those films always win costume awards.
7:51 P.M.: I actually remembered the Rob Lowe-Snow White moment in Oscar history. It might have been the worst thing ever. As always Anne Hathaway looks incredible as no one should be that beautiful and have then name of Shakespeare’s wife. In the least surprising award of the night, Ratatouille wins best Animated Feature. Good because I can’t stand surfing penguins.
8:07 P.M.: When I think of acting I know that I think of The Rock. It’s rather amazing that more people know him as an actor now than as a guy who bent a folding chair across the head of a handcuffed Mick Foley. Well, even Mick doesn’t remember that any more. But really, The Rock as a presenter?
8:10 P.M.: Can’t give the best dressed award to Cate Blanchett but she looks gorgeous as always. Not only does she look flawless but she just holds herself in such an effortless manner. As if she rolls out of bed looking that amazing.
8:18 P.M.: In the first real award of the night, Javier Bardem wins for Best Supporting Actor. Good choice and any time a Coen Brothers film wins an award is a good thing.
8:29 P.M.: Owen Wilson always looks like he was just in a fight backstage. Maybe this is just a subliminal marketing campaign for Drillbit Taylor, in which he plays a bodyguard for high school students, but I have a bad feeling that someone jumped him backstage. Remind me to not date Kate Hudson if that is the end result.
8:31 P.M.: Did I just watch a tribute to bees in movies? This is going to be a very long night. However, anything that gets a clip from The Swarm onto an Oscar broadcast is good in my book.
8:38 P.M.: Holding up to tradition the Best Supporting Actress award is a complete surprise as Tilda Swinton wins for Michael Clayton. Big shock there as everyone was expecting either Ruby Dee or Cate Blanchett to win. Tilda looked very good in high def but that might be a result of my having a thing for red hair and green eyes. This might be a sign that we are in for an interesting night.
8:44 P.M.: So Jessica Alba got technical award duty this year. It’s a tradition that we make an up and coming starlet host it so that all the engineers get to, you know, see a beautiful woman for one moment in their life. While I have a hope of getting a screenplay written my best chance of winning an Oscar is developing some new camera technology and I haven’t been an engineer in nearly a decade.
8:47 P.M.: Adapted screenplay Oscar. Sarah Polley is nominated and she really should get a lot of respect for being a huge double threat. Can act and write and is attractive as hell as a result. Coen Brothers win so I’m giddy with excitement and as you can probably guess, I don’t often get giddy. I’ve been a Coen Brothers fan for ages and I’m always grateful when they win. Makes me feel that art can still be made in this world.
8:52 P.M.: PWC has really nice offices apparently. Remind me to drop off a resume there. Sure, being an accountant is for lack of a better term, boring but it looks like they have a pool. And once again, here is Miley Cyrus helping to draw that all important tween demographic.
9:06 P.M.: Apparently the Bourne Ultimatum has really good sound. I’ll watch the film with the picture off next time. Not that it will help me appreciate the sound any better but I would rather not have to watch Matt Damon for two straight hours.
9:08 P.M.: Wow, it’s only nine and we are already giving out the Best Actress award. This award typically doesn’t get handed out until around eleven in the evening. Yes! Marion Cotillard won for her portrayal of Edith Piaf. I was hoping that she would win because it was a pretty amazing portrayal of an amazing woman. Maybe not the most popular choice in terms of box office receipts but a definite top performance. I like seeing the unknowns win every once in a while.
9:18 P.M.: The moment I’ve been waiting for. Even the mention of the film Once gets a cheer from the crowd. You have to understand how big of a thrill this is for me. I’ve stood in front of the stage when Glen has played. His music has been what has been getting me through the past four years of my life. I can’t imagine what these past four years would have been like without his music in the background. To see him get to perform in front of the world is just amazing. You could tell how much he and Markeeta were enjoying just getting to perform. That’s how you gain acclaim without selling out.
9:28 P.M.: Does Renee Zelwigger even have eyes? Honestly, for all I know there is nothing behind those eyelashes. Well, we know that there is no brain behind the eyelashes but I’m wondering if she has a sensory organs at all. Also, there is a strange possibility that the film with the most Oscar wins tonight will be The Bourne Ultimatum. That’s a sad statement on the movie industry.
9:34 P.M.: Time for the honorary Oscar, which goes to Robert Boyle who did the design work for all of the Hitchcock films. Given how incredible those films were to look at I could see him getting a lifetime achievement award for his work. Just watch North by Northwest and you’ll understand how amazing it can be. Well, except for the fight on the top of a paper mache Mount Rushmore. That hasn’t aged well.
9:41 P.M.: Adam Corrolla and Steve Guttenberg on Dancing With the Stars? What could possibly go wrong? Also, can the words Guttenberg and Star be used in the same sentence? Isn’t that blatantly false advertising?
9:50 P.M.: Yes! This is unbelievable! I’ve now met an Oscar winner! Falling Slowly won for Best Song! You cannot believe how big of a smile that I have on my face right now. I mean, I’ve been a fan of The Frames for four years now and they were always my little secret. They were the best band that you had never heard of. Well, now people know who they are and it’s not because of some bad ballad. It’s because of a beautiful song. For once, I’m happy about who won best song.
9:57 P.M.: How cool is that. Jon Stewart even brought Markeeta back on stage so she could have a chance to say her thank yous. This great moments segues to Cameron Diaz looking as if she can’t move a single facial muscle. So let’s honor independent art and following your dreams by featuring a member of the Charlie’s Angels cast.
10:01 P.M.: Time for the annual dead person montage. Also showing that death, much like life, is a popularity contest. The smattering of applause for certain names is always a bit disturbing. Heath Ledger gains the final spot and biggest applause. That’s what bothers me about this. I’d almost wish they would kill the audience sound so you wouldn’t hear the clapping. Are we trying to judge if Heath was more important than Ingmar Bergman? It never seems to be a remembrance, more like one last casting call.
10:15 P.M.: Is it me or does Tom Hanks look rather haggard tonight? He just seems a bit worse for wear and I don’t know if I have ever seen him look anything other than perfect.
10:25 P.M.: Cool, Diablo Cody wins the Best Screenplay Oscar becoming the second former stripper (after Dame Judi Dench) to win an Oscar. For the record, no I don’t know her. At least I don’t think I do. But stories like hers gives me hope. A blogger who writes a script and gets it made and wins an Oscar. There might be hope for me yet.
10:34 P.M.: Daniel Day-Lewis wins his second Oscar for his performance in a film that I assume is about turn of the century malt shops. All I know is that it has something to do with milkshakes. Kind of surprising that a film that potentially takes place in a Baskin Robbins wins an Oscar. But I can’t complain about Daniel winning any award since he really inhabits a role. That and he grows a better mustache than anyone in Hollywood.
10:39 P.M.: Per the local news, giant snakes are about to invade Kansas City. Looks like I might be leaving just in time. I don’t think that this town has a St. Patrick in it.
10:43 P.M.: Another win for the Coen Brothers as they take Best Director as well. Or Best Directors, it’s a rather odd teaming. I’ve watched them since the days of Barton Fink. Not that I understand Barton Fink but hell, I even liked The Hudsucker Proxy. It’s you know, for kids.
10:45 P.M.: And let’s send it on home with Best Picture. The Oscar goes to “No Country for Old Men”, which I believe takes home the most Oscars on the night. Just shows that working from a Cormac McCarthy story is always a great way to make a wonderful movie. I still, uh, haven’t seen it but I’m sure that I will.
10:47 P.M.: That’s the show. Maybe not record time but it was definitely quicker than I expected. It was a strange year for the Oscars. There was no one big movie for everyone to get behind and even the nominated actors weren’t many of the big names. They were great performers but you didn’t have a Nicole Kidman or Julia Roberts nominated this year. The degree of glamour just didn’t match up. I’m not sure if I even have a worst dressed choice this year. That said, I can’t complain at all. Falling Slowly won an Oscar for Best Song. What can be better than that?
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Mary Chapin Carpenter “Come On, Come On”
2) Marshall Crenshaw “This Is It”
3) Tori Amos “Little Earthquakes”
4) Allison Moorer “Show”
5) The Waco Brothers “Do You Think About Me?”
Thursday, February 21, 2008
43 Things (Part Two)
For those who are curious, in a typical day my heart beats 80,000 times. It’s rather amazing what you can find out through medical tests. The good news is that all my tests from the cardiologist came back fine so I’ve got a clean bill of health there. Looks like my Klingon genes served me well once again.
Alright, on to the remainder of the 43 things.
22) Buy another Tom Everhart print: For those who have any of the Battling the Current CDs this would be the cover art. (If you don’t have one and would want one let me know. I’ve gained readers recently.) Otherwise, search for this guy and you’ll see that he specializes in these wild paintings of Snoopy and Charlie Brown. I’m lucky enough to know a few dealers and have one print of his but I want one more. This might be my present to myself upon finding my new job.
23) Move to a city that is right for this moment in my life: Kansas City is not the right place for me right now. I am possibly the only 34 year old in this town who is single. I don’t even think this town was right for me five years ago when I moved here in the first place. I’m not going to make that same mistake twice. The next town will be a place where I can be me without any stigmas attached. Maybe Chicago or Seattle or Austin will be more to my liking.
24) Find my Zelda: For those who wonder what the “applications for the role of Zelda” means here it is. I am a F. Scott Fitzgerald fan and I want to find my Zelda. Hopefully not in the “driving me to drink and an early death” sort of way but you get the picture. This used to be where I would say get married but I don’t know if I want to have that big event tied to the goal anymore. I just want to find my Zelda, the woman you always imagined me with.
25) Earn one more degree: Don’t really care what in. English or History are real possibilities in that they wouldn’t be useful at all. I just feel like I have one more degree in me. Plus, after all this time I would like to finally be an English major and see what I missed.
26) Travel to the Boxing Hall of Fame to see the plaque honoring my great-great uncle Jack Root, the first light heavyweight champion of the world: This is absolutely true. He knocked out Kid McCoy for the title (though McCoy was famous for throwing fights and is the source of the quote “Who is the real McCoy?”) Boxing is in my blood even if I don’t look the part.
27) Find a job that inspires me every day and where I leave every night knowing that I have made the world a better place: Very important to me right now. I can’t say that I’ve been inspired by my company or its leadership in the past several years and it has really drained on me. My next position will be in a company that makes me feel as if I am having an impact on people’s lives. Down the line I will work for a non-profit or a school but right now I want a job that will move me towards that mindset.
28) Go to a different restaurant every week for a year: Don’t tell my doctor about this one. I am a horribly picky eater though I’ve improved over the past few years. Somehow though I enjoy watching shows like Iron Chef and Top Chef so I really feel like I need to make an effort to become a foodie. Going to different restaurants and trying different dishes might force me to develop a palate once and for all.
29) Buy a new car: I love my car, a 2001 Grand Am that has been through absolutely everything. But it is a 2001 Pontiac and that has me more than a bit worried about what is around the next corner. Any suggestions on what I should look for (again, after I deal with the whole employment issue) would be welcome.
30) Take time every day to reflect on how blessed I am: I don’t do this nearly enough. All I want is fifteen minutes each day to think about how lucky I am and thank God for my family and friends. It would make a world of difference.
31) Make a serious effort at improving the quality and reach of Battling the Current and Insufficient Monkeys publishing: The quality is improving already though there is still a ways to go. I actually found this blog referenced on a Czech blog so I’m getting better known as well. But I’d still like to garner a bit more of an audience. I’m also serious about forming my own publishing company. If Henry Rollins can do it so can I.
32) See Beth Orton in concert: Easily my favorite performer that I have never had a chance see play live. I’d travel for this opportunity.
33) Attempt an extremely silly world record stunt: One of those that makes absolutely no sense like Longest game of Risk. Do something for charity that is silly but is also a chance at immortality.
34) Attend either the opening or the closing ceremonies of the Olympic Games: Sure, all the Olympics are now is cheering for our pro athletes over their pro athletes but I still like the spectacle of it all. Would be a once in a lifetime event.
35) Order a round of drinks for an entire bar: I still don’t know how I haven’t done this yet. But I think it is the last of my drinking goals that I can accomplish without having doctors seriously question my sanity. (Hence I will no longer attempt to drink a beer from every tap in one night.)
36) Stay in touch with all my friends from Notre Dame for another five years: I am so proud of the fact that nearly five years after graduation I received emails from around the world the past few weeks offering me advice and support on my job situation. The ND community is the most amazing thing I’ve ever been a part of. I want to make sure I stay in touch so the monthly reports will continue.
37) Learn to relax and not be so uptight and aloof all the time: This probably doesn’t fit the SMART goal template but I need to list it anyway. I’m way too tense and never let my guard down and relax. When I’m uncomfortable I find a wall to put my back against and get ready for conflict. I’d like to move away from that part of my personality. And while I’ll always be a little different I think I took it a little too far in my current job.
38) Start to really invest my nest egg: For someone with an MBA I am rather awful at actually investing money. So, in an attempt to at least get my mom to stop yelling at me about this, I should finally put some money into the market.
39) Read all the books on the back of Cliff Notes: I have a copy of Cliff Notes for The Catcher in the Rye from high school where I have consistently checked off every book that I have read for the past twenty years. I want them all to be checked. Thankfully, I’m no longer threatening to do this in alphabetical order.
40) Return my copy of “The Professor and the Madman” to its rightful owner: I’ve had it for four years now so I think it has crossed the line from borrowing to outright theft. In response I would like to say that she has had my copy of Macarthur’s Bar for five years. I’d just like to see her again to find out where life has taken her.
41) Once a year, return to New Orleans: It’s my home. I’ve never had an address there but it is my home. I’ve never felt more attached to a place and a people. Even though the city is hurting it needs me as a tourist and slowly we will bring it back to what it was.
42) Rebuild my wardrobe so that it matches my age and style: Some of my clothes are awesome. Some are probably a decade old. I really need to look at everything, donate what is no longer needed and fill in the gaps. Any help on this would be greatly appreciated. You really don’t want to have an engineer shop by himself.
43) Learn that being perfect isn’t important; being happy with yourself is: The most important one of all. If I do this the other forty two will come in due time.
Sunday night: the return of the Oscar live blog! Will Glen win an Oscar? How many jokes about writers will Jon Stewart make? Will My Beloved Lindsay present? Will I be watching alone again? Yeah, probably but that’s why I can keep a live blog. Should be fun.
Have a great weekend everyone.
Alright, on to the remainder of the 43 things.
22) Buy another Tom Everhart print: For those who have any of the Battling the Current CDs this would be the cover art. (If you don’t have one and would want one let me know. I’ve gained readers recently.) Otherwise, search for this guy and you’ll see that he specializes in these wild paintings of Snoopy and Charlie Brown. I’m lucky enough to know a few dealers and have one print of his but I want one more. This might be my present to myself upon finding my new job.
23) Move to a city that is right for this moment in my life: Kansas City is not the right place for me right now. I am possibly the only 34 year old in this town who is single. I don’t even think this town was right for me five years ago when I moved here in the first place. I’m not going to make that same mistake twice. The next town will be a place where I can be me without any stigmas attached. Maybe Chicago or Seattle or Austin will be more to my liking.
24) Find my Zelda: For those who wonder what the “applications for the role of Zelda” means here it is. I am a F. Scott Fitzgerald fan and I want to find my Zelda. Hopefully not in the “driving me to drink and an early death” sort of way but you get the picture. This used to be where I would say get married but I don’t know if I want to have that big event tied to the goal anymore. I just want to find my Zelda, the woman you always imagined me with.
25) Earn one more degree: Don’t really care what in. English or History are real possibilities in that they wouldn’t be useful at all. I just feel like I have one more degree in me. Plus, after all this time I would like to finally be an English major and see what I missed.
26) Travel to the Boxing Hall of Fame to see the plaque honoring my great-great uncle Jack Root, the first light heavyweight champion of the world: This is absolutely true. He knocked out Kid McCoy for the title (though McCoy was famous for throwing fights and is the source of the quote “Who is the real McCoy?”) Boxing is in my blood even if I don’t look the part.
27) Find a job that inspires me every day and where I leave every night knowing that I have made the world a better place: Very important to me right now. I can’t say that I’ve been inspired by my company or its leadership in the past several years and it has really drained on me. My next position will be in a company that makes me feel as if I am having an impact on people’s lives. Down the line I will work for a non-profit or a school but right now I want a job that will move me towards that mindset.
28) Go to a different restaurant every week for a year: Don’t tell my doctor about this one. I am a horribly picky eater though I’ve improved over the past few years. Somehow though I enjoy watching shows like Iron Chef and Top Chef so I really feel like I need to make an effort to become a foodie. Going to different restaurants and trying different dishes might force me to develop a palate once and for all.
29) Buy a new car: I love my car, a 2001 Grand Am that has been through absolutely everything. But it is a 2001 Pontiac and that has me more than a bit worried about what is around the next corner. Any suggestions on what I should look for (again, after I deal with the whole employment issue) would be welcome.
30) Take time every day to reflect on how blessed I am: I don’t do this nearly enough. All I want is fifteen minutes each day to think about how lucky I am and thank God for my family and friends. It would make a world of difference.
31) Make a serious effort at improving the quality and reach of Battling the Current and Insufficient Monkeys publishing: The quality is improving already though there is still a ways to go. I actually found this blog referenced on a Czech blog so I’m getting better known as well. But I’d still like to garner a bit more of an audience. I’m also serious about forming my own publishing company. If Henry Rollins can do it so can I.
32) See Beth Orton in concert: Easily my favorite performer that I have never had a chance see play live. I’d travel for this opportunity.
33) Attempt an extremely silly world record stunt: One of those that makes absolutely no sense like Longest game of Risk. Do something for charity that is silly but is also a chance at immortality.
34) Attend either the opening or the closing ceremonies of the Olympic Games: Sure, all the Olympics are now is cheering for our pro athletes over their pro athletes but I still like the spectacle of it all. Would be a once in a lifetime event.
35) Order a round of drinks for an entire bar: I still don’t know how I haven’t done this yet. But I think it is the last of my drinking goals that I can accomplish without having doctors seriously question my sanity. (Hence I will no longer attempt to drink a beer from every tap in one night.)
36) Stay in touch with all my friends from Notre Dame for another five years: I am so proud of the fact that nearly five years after graduation I received emails from around the world the past few weeks offering me advice and support on my job situation. The ND community is the most amazing thing I’ve ever been a part of. I want to make sure I stay in touch so the monthly reports will continue.
37) Learn to relax and not be so uptight and aloof all the time: This probably doesn’t fit the SMART goal template but I need to list it anyway. I’m way too tense and never let my guard down and relax. When I’m uncomfortable I find a wall to put my back against and get ready for conflict. I’d like to move away from that part of my personality. And while I’ll always be a little different I think I took it a little too far in my current job.
38) Start to really invest my nest egg: For someone with an MBA I am rather awful at actually investing money. So, in an attempt to at least get my mom to stop yelling at me about this, I should finally put some money into the market.
39) Read all the books on the back of Cliff Notes: I have a copy of Cliff Notes for The Catcher in the Rye from high school where I have consistently checked off every book that I have read for the past twenty years. I want them all to be checked. Thankfully, I’m no longer threatening to do this in alphabetical order.
40) Return my copy of “The Professor and the Madman” to its rightful owner: I’ve had it for four years now so I think it has crossed the line from borrowing to outright theft. In response I would like to say that she has had my copy of Macarthur’s Bar for five years. I’d just like to see her again to find out where life has taken her.
41) Once a year, return to New Orleans: It’s my home. I’ve never had an address there but it is my home. I’ve never felt more attached to a place and a people. Even though the city is hurting it needs me as a tourist and slowly we will bring it back to what it was.
42) Rebuild my wardrobe so that it matches my age and style: Some of my clothes are awesome. Some are probably a decade old. I really need to look at everything, donate what is no longer needed and fill in the gaps. Any help on this would be greatly appreciated. You really don’t want to have an engineer shop by himself.
43) Learn that being perfect isn’t important; being happy with yourself is: The most important one of all. If I do this the other forty two will come in due time.
Sunday night: the return of the Oscar live blog! Will Glen win an Oscar? How many jokes about writers will Jon Stewart make? Will My Beloved Lindsay present? Will I be watching alone again? Yeah, probably but that’s why I can keep a live blog. Should be fun.
Have a great weekend everyone.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
43 Things (Part One)
So there is this website out there called 43things.com in which you list out all of your goals for life. I’ve never used it but back in October 2006 I had a blog post where I listed the 43 things I wanted to accomplish. It made for nice reading but I never actually did anything about it. I felt that it was time for me to revisit the concept and this time really make a concerted at crossing items off of the list. Given that I will have some paid free time on my hands soon and I really need to develop my new five year plan this is a great exercise for me.
I’ll post the first 21 tonight and the remainder tomorrow. Some of these were on the original list, some have been altered and some are brand new. I no longer have a grand desire to own a tuxedo for instance. I’ve added some thoughts and ideas as well as a list of items might make a boring read.
1) Learn how to juggle: I want to have at least one skill that is only useful for impressing five year olds. Also, will provide me with an opportunity to run off and join a circus.
2) Write a book of some kind: Originally this has been to write my novel. It still might be a novel as I am rather taken with the idea of being a novelist. However, I am probably better suited for writing a David Sedaris style compilation of short stories and essays. I’m best at writing observations and short stories and rather bad at things like plot and characters. But I really want to have 60,000 words with an overall purpose that I can self-publish at a minimum.
3) Watch every Star Wars film back to back to back to back to back to back in one day: I can guarantee that this will happen during my first week on severance pay. It might happen on the first day. I just want to know that other people are working while I’m getting paid to watch Star Wars.
4) Watch the sunset from a beach in Australia: I’ve done some traveling but nowhere near enough. I really want to sit and watch the sun disappear from the edge of the world. Plus, Aussies have the coolest accents.
5) With the woman of my dreams, recreate step for step the path taken in Paris by Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke in Before Sunset: People have asked me why I haven’t gone to Paris yet as it really fits in with my sensibilities. I don’t want to go to Paris by myself. It’s something I should share and to walk the city and relive the movie would be cool and romantic.
6) Singlehandedly complete one of those massive 5,000 piece jigsaw puzzles: There is just something really satisfying about starting out with a whole bunch of nothing and turning it into something.
7) Learn how to play guitar and master the following songs a) Uncle Tupelo’s “Still Be Around”, b) Ryan Adams’ “Monday Night” and c) The Frames’ “Falling Slowly”: I still can’t believe I haven’t taught myself guitar. I can read sheet music, play keyboards, and was trained as a bass clarinetist (don’t ask). All I need to know are these three songs and I’d be happy.
8) Meet Julie Delpy: Preferably in a manner that does not result in a restraining order. While I do go on and on about her being my dream woman I just think she would be a really cool person to meet and talk with. There is a big risk that all I would say is “Uh…you’re really purty” but that’s a risk I’ll just have to take.
9) Become an active volunteer in a cause I believe in: This is a pretty big goal for me in the next phase of my life. I’ve really slacked on this and that bothers me greatly. I’ll focus on my personal causes (autism research, rebuilding New Orleans, health care for musicians) but will also focus on the community that I find myself in.
10) Show up to work wearing a red clown nose: There’s a UK charity that does this. Everyone wears a red clown nose for the day. I just think it would be a brilliant way to shake things up in the office. No explanations, no warnings, just wear a clown nose. If anything, it’s worth the social experiment.
11) Follow a band on tour for at least a week: I’m kind of bummed that I haven’t had a chance to do this. Josh Ritter’s last tour gave me a bit of an opportunity but work got in the way. I just want to find a smaller act that I like and travel with them. By the third show I should become a familiar face and it would give me a chance to see the country.
12) Host a trivia night: I really want to do this before I leave town. After two years of playing trivia I want to write the categories for once. Proposed categories “TV Shows that have DVD collections but shouldn’t”, “Illinois” and “Stuff I’m embarrassed to know.”
13) Read Finnegan’s Wake: It’s the only novel by Joyce that I have not read. I’ve been told by professors to put a year and a half aside if I want to really understand the book. I finished Ulysses in a month so that is an indication of the challenge that lies ahead of me.
14) Travel to New York and see shows on Broadway: I’ve never been to New York, which might seem odd but that’s just how my life works. It just seems like an experience that I should have. Catching a few plays and musicals would be a requirement while I’m there. (Or I could see shows in the West End of London, which I still haven’t done.)
15) Attend a Wrestlemania: Look, it can’t all be high culture. For those who wonder about these things, I’ve only gone to one wrestling card in my life (Hulk Hogan versus “Nature Boy” Ric Flair in the main event). But twenty plus years of fandom should be marked in some way, shape or form.
16) Appear on a game or reality show: I’ve never tried out for Jeopardy or Millionaire or any of the pop culture shows. Given my knowledge base I should have a good shot at making one. And I so want to be on a reality show it’s not even funny anymore. I’m thinking of gaining weight just so I can be on The Biggest Loser.
17) Run a 5K in a time that is less than my age: Or just get in shape in general. I’m not in horrible condition to begin with but I’d like to get myself to a point that I feel is respectable.
18) Learn how to cook: I mean really learn how to cook. Not my “throw something on the George Foreman grill” style of cooking. Or the “at least I used the oven instead of the microwave” style of cooking. I mean actually cooking with multiple ingredients in a single dish. If I could successfully cook something from Bourdain’s cookbook I’d be completely satisfied.
19) See a Shakespeare play in the rebuilt Globe Theater: I’ve always missed the opportunity to do this when I’m in London. I’ll always read a Shakespeare play a year but I would like to hear the words in as close to the original setting as is possible.
20) Buy a house: At some point I need to stop renting and start owning something. It will also make me grow up a little. Or at least start mowing the lawn like my parents always wanted me to do.
21) Organize one last big reunion at the Backer for my Notre Dame buddies: I’ve tried to get this off the ground for a couple of years but it always falls through. I do want to have one last get together of the group that used to spend every Wednesday night running the place. Those were easily the best nights of my life as well all just sat around and joked. It won’t be the same but I’d like one last glimpse of those days.
Thoughts/ideas/suggestions? I’m going to have to think up the last 22 tomorrow.
Wednesday Night Music Club: I’ve been in a Drive-By Truckers mood all week. Here is some good old Southern Rock to get you through the rest of the week.
I’ll post the first 21 tonight and the remainder tomorrow. Some of these were on the original list, some have been altered and some are brand new. I no longer have a grand desire to own a tuxedo for instance. I’ve added some thoughts and ideas as well as a list of items might make a boring read.
1) Learn how to juggle: I want to have at least one skill that is only useful for impressing five year olds. Also, will provide me with an opportunity to run off and join a circus.
2) Write a book of some kind: Originally this has been to write my novel. It still might be a novel as I am rather taken with the idea of being a novelist. However, I am probably better suited for writing a David Sedaris style compilation of short stories and essays. I’m best at writing observations and short stories and rather bad at things like plot and characters. But I really want to have 60,000 words with an overall purpose that I can self-publish at a minimum.
3) Watch every Star Wars film back to back to back to back to back to back in one day: I can guarantee that this will happen during my first week on severance pay. It might happen on the first day. I just want to know that other people are working while I’m getting paid to watch Star Wars.
4) Watch the sunset from a beach in Australia: I’ve done some traveling but nowhere near enough. I really want to sit and watch the sun disappear from the edge of the world. Plus, Aussies have the coolest accents.
5) With the woman of my dreams, recreate step for step the path taken in Paris by Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke in Before Sunset: People have asked me why I haven’t gone to Paris yet as it really fits in with my sensibilities. I don’t want to go to Paris by myself. It’s something I should share and to walk the city and relive the movie would be cool and romantic.
6) Singlehandedly complete one of those massive 5,000 piece jigsaw puzzles: There is just something really satisfying about starting out with a whole bunch of nothing and turning it into something.
7) Learn how to play guitar and master the following songs a) Uncle Tupelo’s “Still Be Around”, b) Ryan Adams’ “Monday Night” and c) The Frames’ “Falling Slowly”: I still can’t believe I haven’t taught myself guitar. I can read sheet music, play keyboards, and was trained as a bass clarinetist (don’t ask). All I need to know are these three songs and I’d be happy.
8) Meet Julie Delpy: Preferably in a manner that does not result in a restraining order. While I do go on and on about her being my dream woman I just think she would be a really cool person to meet and talk with. There is a big risk that all I would say is “Uh…you’re really purty” but that’s a risk I’ll just have to take.
9) Become an active volunteer in a cause I believe in: This is a pretty big goal for me in the next phase of my life. I’ve really slacked on this and that bothers me greatly. I’ll focus on my personal causes (autism research, rebuilding New Orleans, health care for musicians) but will also focus on the community that I find myself in.
10) Show up to work wearing a red clown nose: There’s a UK charity that does this. Everyone wears a red clown nose for the day. I just think it would be a brilliant way to shake things up in the office. No explanations, no warnings, just wear a clown nose. If anything, it’s worth the social experiment.
11) Follow a band on tour for at least a week: I’m kind of bummed that I haven’t had a chance to do this. Josh Ritter’s last tour gave me a bit of an opportunity but work got in the way. I just want to find a smaller act that I like and travel with them. By the third show I should become a familiar face and it would give me a chance to see the country.
12) Host a trivia night: I really want to do this before I leave town. After two years of playing trivia I want to write the categories for once. Proposed categories “TV Shows that have DVD collections but shouldn’t”, “Illinois” and “Stuff I’m embarrassed to know.”
13) Read Finnegan’s Wake: It’s the only novel by Joyce that I have not read. I’ve been told by professors to put a year and a half aside if I want to really understand the book. I finished Ulysses in a month so that is an indication of the challenge that lies ahead of me.
14) Travel to New York and see shows on Broadway: I’ve never been to New York, which might seem odd but that’s just how my life works. It just seems like an experience that I should have. Catching a few plays and musicals would be a requirement while I’m there. (Or I could see shows in the West End of London, which I still haven’t done.)
15) Attend a Wrestlemania: Look, it can’t all be high culture. For those who wonder about these things, I’ve only gone to one wrestling card in my life (Hulk Hogan versus “Nature Boy” Ric Flair in the main event). But twenty plus years of fandom should be marked in some way, shape or form.
16) Appear on a game or reality show: I’ve never tried out for Jeopardy or Millionaire or any of the pop culture shows. Given my knowledge base I should have a good shot at making one. And I so want to be on a reality show it’s not even funny anymore. I’m thinking of gaining weight just so I can be on The Biggest Loser.
17) Run a 5K in a time that is less than my age: Or just get in shape in general. I’m not in horrible condition to begin with but I’d like to get myself to a point that I feel is respectable.
18) Learn how to cook: I mean really learn how to cook. Not my “throw something on the George Foreman grill” style of cooking. Or the “at least I used the oven instead of the microwave” style of cooking. I mean actually cooking with multiple ingredients in a single dish. If I could successfully cook something from Bourdain’s cookbook I’d be completely satisfied.
19) See a Shakespeare play in the rebuilt Globe Theater: I’ve always missed the opportunity to do this when I’m in London. I’ll always read a Shakespeare play a year but I would like to hear the words in as close to the original setting as is possible.
20) Buy a house: At some point I need to stop renting and start owning something. It will also make me grow up a little. Or at least start mowing the lawn like my parents always wanted me to do.
21) Organize one last big reunion at the Backer for my Notre Dame buddies: I’ve tried to get this off the ground for a couple of years but it always falls through. I do want to have one last get together of the group that used to spend every Wednesday night running the place. Those were easily the best nights of my life as well all just sat around and joked. It won’t be the same but I’d like one last glimpse of those days.
Thoughts/ideas/suggestions? I’m going to have to think up the last 22 tomorrow.
Wednesday Night Music Club: I’ve been in a Drive-By Truckers mood all week. Here is some good old Southern Rock to get you through the rest of the week.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
What's the world got in store...
So after a week of writing about Valentine’s Day, begging for dates and just being my old bitter self I feel compelled to address the comments on my romantic prospects. Or, to put in bluntly, just what the hell am I doing here? How in the world have I not picked up a girlfriend by now?
As someone who constantly uses football metaphors in discussing relationships I appreciate being referred to as “a late round steal of a draft pick.” That’s probably the best description of myself that I could ever come up with. I’m not flashy, I’m not the guy who walks into the bar and has every girl wanting to be with him. I don’t look like a movie star, I look like one of the accountants who tabulates the votes for the Oscars. But, as I’ve always been told I’m not the type of guy you want to date, I’m the type of guy you want to marry. I accepted this when I was in college. Now it worries me a bit more. You’d think it would have come true by now.
So why hasn’t it happened? Some of it is just dumb luck. On several occasions I’ve met and gone out with someone I felt was right for me. But then one of us had to move away or the time wasn’t right in our lives or events just got in the way. If things were different maybe things would have worked out or maybe they wouldn’t have. It really doesn’t matter. That’s just life. The question is why I don’t try harder.
Part of it is that I’m just a naturally shy person. That’s strange coming from someone who posts his every thought for the world to see but it is true. I tend to keep to myself and it takes a while to figure out what type of person I really am. So going out and meeting people and taking that risk of asking someone out is a bit of a stressor to me.
I don’t think I’m entirely afraid of rejection, at least not in terms of asking someone out. Those rejections tend not to bother me. Some people don’t like me, not a big deal. I’m much more bothered by the breakups or in my case the breakups without actually breaking up. Since I’ve moved here I’ve never had anyone go “I’m sorry EC but it’s just not working out.” They just stop returning my calls. If there is one thing that I can’t stand about dating it is that. Call me an asshole, call me an arrogant prick, say that you can’t date someone who owns his own lightsaber but at least acknowledge my existence. I really get sick of spending a month calling the girl, getting her voicemail and continuing the charade until I start wondering when the stalking charge is going to be filed. Just tell me you don’t like me. I know it’s a tough thing to say to a nice guy but I would appreciate the honesty.
(And trust me, when the Clone Wars begin (and they will) you will wish that you had someone with his own lightsaber by your side.)
But the big question that was posed in the comments is the fact that I’m not in a relationship what bugs me or the fact that I haven’t found the right girl that is an issue. I’d have to say it is the latter. I don’t define myself by who I am with and I can have fun by myself. No one understands that going to a concert by myself can be a ton of fun but it is. What bothers me is that I haven’t been able to meet that one person who keeps my interest and makes me feel those brief moments of infinity that you get when you fall in love. And I know she is out there somewhere and I just haven’t caught her at the right moment yet.
Do I have too high of standards? Most likely. Do I take enough risks and go out just to see what happens? Nowhere near enough. Are these addressable issues? Thankfully yes. There is hope for me after all.
So what happens now? I’m in a bit of a weird spot. I’ll almost certainly be moving in the next couple of months. That is a benefit for me as I tend to meet someone when I know I’ll be gone soon. That way I don’t fear failure as much. I mean, what’s the worst that can happen? If I screw up horribly it’s not like I’m going to be running into her on a regular basis. That helps to put me at ease. I think mainly what I want to do is just get myself in the mindset of putting myself out there and seeing what will happen. Waiting isn’t benefiting me anymore. I just have to go up to the plate and start swinging.
I’m not sure if this post makes sense. It probably doesn’t help that I was listening to the Obama victory speech while writing it. But I really do want to find someone in this world who will be there for me. And I know she’s out there and that while I’m not a knight in shining armor I’m a nice guy with a propensity to speak in Monty Python quotes. That has to count for something in this world. All I have to do is find her. Shouldn’t be too difficult now, could it?
As someone who constantly uses football metaphors in discussing relationships I appreciate being referred to as “a late round steal of a draft pick.” That’s probably the best description of myself that I could ever come up with. I’m not flashy, I’m not the guy who walks into the bar and has every girl wanting to be with him. I don’t look like a movie star, I look like one of the accountants who tabulates the votes for the Oscars. But, as I’ve always been told I’m not the type of guy you want to date, I’m the type of guy you want to marry. I accepted this when I was in college. Now it worries me a bit more. You’d think it would have come true by now.
So why hasn’t it happened? Some of it is just dumb luck. On several occasions I’ve met and gone out with someone I felt was right for me. But then one of us had to move away or the time wasn’t right in our lives or events just got in the way. If things were different maybe things would have worked out or maybe they wouldn’t have. It really doesn’t matter. That’s just life. The question is why I don’t try harder.
Part of it is that I’m just a naturally shy person. That’s strange coming from someone who posts his every thought for the world to see but it is true. I tend to keep to myself and it takes a while to figure out what type of person I really am. So going out and meeting people and taking that risk of asking someone out is a bit of a stressor to me.
I don’t think I’m entirely afraid of rejection, at least not in terms of asking someone out. Those rejections tend not to bother me. Some people don’t like me, not a big deal. I’m much more bothered by the breakups or in my case the breakups without actually breaking up. Since I’ve moved here I’ve never had anyone go “I’m sorry EC but it’s just not working out.” They just stop returning my calls. If there is one thing that I can’t stand about dating it is that. Call me an asshole, call me an arrogant prick, say that you can’t date someone who owns his own lightsaber but at least acknowledge my existence. I really get sick of spending a month calling the girl, getting her voicemail and continuing the charade until I start wondering when the stalking charge is going to be filed. Just tell me you don’t like me. I know it’s a tough thing to say to a nice guy but I would appreciate the honesty.
(And trust me, when the Clone Wars begin (and they will) you will wish that you had someone with his own lightsaber by your side.)
But the big question that was posed in the comments is the fact that I’m not in a relationship what bugs me or the fact that I haven’t found the right girl that is an issue. I’d have to say it is the latter. I don’t define myself by who I am with and I can have fun by myself. No one understands that going to a concert by myself can be a ton of fun but it is. What bothers me is that I haven’t been able to meet that one person who keeps my interest and makes me feel those brief moments of infinity that you get when you fall in love. And I know she is out there somewhere and I just haven’t caught her at the right moment yet.
Do I have too high of standards? Most likely. Do I take enough risks and go out just to see what happens? Nowhere near enough. Are these addressable issues? Thankfully yes. There is hope for me after all.
So what happens now? I’m in a bit of a weird spot. I’ll almost certainly be moving in the next couple of months. That is a benefit for me as I tend to meet someone when I know I’ll be gone soon. That way I don’t fear failure as much. I mean, what’s the worst that can happen? If I screw up horribly it’s not like I’m going to be running into her on a regular basis. That helps to put me at ease. I think mainly what I want to do is just get myself in the mindset of putting myself out there and seeing what will happen. Waiting isn’t benefiting me anymore. I just have to go up to the plate and start swinging.
I’m not sure if this post makes sense. It probably doesn’t help that I was listening to the Obama victory speech while writing it. But I really do want to find someone in this world who will be there for me. And I know she’s out there and that while I’m not a knight in shining armor I’m a nice guy with a propensity to speak in Monty Python quotes. That has to count for something in this world. All I have to do is find her. Shouldn’t be too difficult now, could it?
Monday, February 18, 2008
There's Taylor, there's Tyler, there's Fillmore and there's Hayes
Preliminary Note: I will discuss the comments on “When The Cure is no longer a cure” tomorrow. I need another day to think through my response. If anyone else wants to add in their two cents on my romantic prospects please add to the thread. The comments so far have been rather outstanding.
It’s Presidents Day and if I worked for a more patriotic company I’d have had the day off today. Instead I sat in a cube running spreadsheets. This gave me plenty of time to ruminate on Presidents Day and how we have moved from celebrating Washington and Lincoln to celebrating all presidents. I figured that this would be the opportune time for me to present a quick overview of my favorite president of all time. Here are your fun facts for the nineteenth president of the United States: Rutherford B. Hayes.
· Like all presidents, was born in Ohio.
· Attended Kenyon College. Or at least lived in a dorm there while listening to Grateful Dead records.
· Voted “best beard of all bearded presidents” by the American Beardological Society
· Became president despite losing the popular vote. Surprisingly, did not use this fact to invade a middle eastern nation under spurious circumstances.
· Once described the State of the Union as “just peachy”.
· Enacted a robust foreign policy consisting of speaking slowly and loudly to all foreign ambassadors.
· Successfully prevented the Earth from falling into the sun during his presidency.
· Three time winner of the Indy 500.
· Became the first president to be featured on Trading Spaces. While upset with Hildi’s redesign of the Oval Office he did take advantage of the opportunity to hit on Paige Davis. (What is up with Paige’s hair this season? It looks really bad. I mean, so I’ve been told. It’s not like I spend my Saturday nights watching Trading Spaces or anything.)
· Created the Executive Comedy Unified Scientific Measurement Index (otherwise referred to as the EXCUSMI scale). Units of measurement include the barrel of monkeys and the Snickers fun size bar.
· Acknowledged that as president he was subservient to Norton I, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico. I’m not making this up. There really was an Emperor Norton I during this time period. He lived in San Francisco, printed his own money and was viewed as a sort of civic leader. He might be my favorite person in American history just because he shows that America is a country where anyone can be a king.
· Invented invisible ink. Patent went unfiled because it was unreadable.
· B stands for “Bad Ass”
· Was the first president to use a telephone. First call was to Domino’s Pizza where he ordered a Meat Lover’s Supreme whose delivery was delayed by secret service agents long enough for him to receive the three dollar discount (or $5,287 adjusting for inflation.)
· Shot a man in Reno once just to watch him die
· Universally considered the best president named Rutherford that this country has ever had.
It’s Presidents Day and if I worked for a more patriotic company I’d have had the day off today. Instead I sat in a cube running spreadsheets. This gave me plenty of time to ruminate on Presidents Day and how we have moved from celebrating Washington and Lincoln to celebrating all presidents. I figured that this would be the opportune time for me to present a quick overview of my favorite president of all time. Here are your fun facts for the nineteenth president of the United States: Rutherford B. Hayes.
· Like all presidents, was born in Ohio.
· Attended Kenyon College. Or at least lived in a dorm there while listening to Grateful Dead records.
· Voted “best beard of all bearded presidents” by the American Beardological Society
· Became president despite losing the popular vote. Surprisingly, did not use this fact to invade a middle eastern nation under spurious circumstances.
· Once described the State of the Union as “just peachy”.
· Enacted a robust foreign policy consisting of speaking slowly and loudly to all foreign ambassadors.
· Successfully prevented the Earth from falling into the sun during his presidency.
· Three time winner of the Indy 500.
· Became the first president to be featured on Trading Spaces. While upset with Hildi’s redesign of the Oval Office he did take advantage of the opportunity to hit on Paige Davis. (What is up with Paige’s hair this season? It looks really bad. I mean, so I’ve been told. It’s not like I spend my Saturday nights watching Trading Spaces or anything.)
· Created the Executive Comedy Unified Scientific Measurement Index (otherwise referred to as the EXCUSMI scale). Units of measurement include the barrel of monkeys and the Snickers fun size bar.
· Acknowledged that as president he was subservient to Norton I, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico. I’m not making this up. There really was an Emperor Norton I during this time period. He lived in San Francisco, printed his own money and was viewed as a sort of civic leader. He might be my favorite person in American history just because he shows that America is a country where anyone can be a king.
· Invented invisible ink. Patent went unfiled because it was unreadable.
· B stands for “Bad Ass”
· Was the first president to use a telephone. First call was to Domino’s Pizza where he ordered a Meat Lover’s Supreme whose delivery was delayed by secret service agents long enough for him to receive the three dollar discount (or $5,287 adjusting for inflation.)
· Shot a man in Reno once just to watch him die
· Universally considered the best president named Rutherford that this country has ever had.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Five hearts beating
To put my mind at ease after the events of Valentine’s Day I decided to see a cardiologist to prove that I do, in fact, have a heart. Ok, that’s not really the reason but the symbolism was too great to pass up. Basically, this is a result of what happened a few weeks ago when my posts referred to my “not feeling well.” Before anyone freaks out this was all just precautionary stuff but I still was recommended to have an exercise echocardiogram, which was my Friday adventure.
Things got off to an auspicious start as they hooked me up to the EKG. The technician started talking about how he was going to have to shave a portion of my chest to attach the pads but he then looked at me and went, “Actually, I think we’ll be ok.” Yes, even in my mid-30’s I have like four strands of chest hair. I’m telling you, once I finish puberty things are going to be awesome. I’ll even be able to grow a goatee.
Anyway, then they started taking ultrasound pictures of my heart. (To all of you who in the past have called me a heartless bastard: Ha! I have proof that you’re wrong.) On the plus side I didn’t hear any cries of “Jesus Christ” or “Are you part Klingon because I count three hearts here?” At one point they had difficulty getting the right angle to see my heart, which is a bit of a concern. I’m kind of hoping that I will get an official diagnosis of “your heart is precisely three sizes too small.” That would at least explain my lifelong hatred of Whoville.
Then it was on the treadmill and I can say proudly that I was able to hit my target heart rate and hold it with minimal difficulty. In fact, the entire test went smoothly and I was able to go home so obviously they didn’t see anything too horribly wrong with me. But what I really want to talk about is something I did during the entire procedure. Outside of two brief glances, I never looked at my heart on the monitor.
That would seem to go against my very nature. Everyone who knows me understands that I’m an incredibly curious person whose entire goal in life is to be continually learning. Getting a chance to see my heartbeat would seem to be a once in a lifetime opportunity. But I intentionally did not look at it or focus on it. Why I acted that way might say a lot about me.
I’ve come up with two reasons why I acted the way I did. The first is tied to the fact that the only person I trust is myself (and often not even that). What this means is that in any situation I am most comfortable being the one in charge and the one whose job it is to figure things out. Even though my medical expertise consists of being a football trainer in high school and the occasional episode of House I’d still consider myself more knowledgeable than someone whose entire life revolves around this test. That’s dumb I know so instead of looking at the monitor and trying to diagnose something that I know nothing about I just turned my head and let the experts handle it.
The other reason is a lot deeper and psychological. I don’t know if I wanted to face up to the fact that that little pulsating image on the screen is all of who I am. As long as my heart keeps pumping I am me; once it stops I become an it. That’s not something one really wants to confront. It’s what Yossarian discovers at the end of Catch-22. At the end of the day all we are is a combination of blood and guts and all of these noble constructs we develop to define our existence are flights of fancy. I live in head space more than physical space so coming face to face with that reality is one of the scariest things that I’ve had to go through recently. I didn’t want to stare it down on Friday afternoon. Maybe I have a little more growing to do still.
Best of 120 Minutes: Felt like posting a Throwing Muses video tonight. Of course I pick a song with Tanya Donnelly singing lead as opposed to Kirstin Hersh. Either way, I miss bands like this. It’s what made it fun to be in college back in the day.
The five random CD's for the week:
1) George Gershwin "Rhapsody in Blue"
2) The Mekons "Journey to the End of the Night"
3) Rufus Wainwright "Beneath the Stars"
4) Uncle Tupelo "Halls of Shame"
5) Sufjan Stevens "Illinois"
Things got off to an auspicious start as they hooked me up to the EKG. The technician started talking about how he was going to have to shave a portion of my chest to attach the pads but he then looked at me and went, “Actually, I think we’ll be ok.” Yes, even in my mid-30’s I have like four strands of chest hair. I’m telling you, once I finish puberty things are going to be awesome. I’ll even be able to grow a goatee.
Anyway, then they started taking ultrasound pictures of my heart. (To all of you who in the past have called me a heartless bastard: Ha! I have proof that you’re wrong.) On the plus side I didn’t hear any cries of “Jesus Christ” or “Are you part Klingon because I count three hearts here?” At one point they had difficulty getting the right angle to see my heart, which is a bit of a concern. I’m kind of hoping that I will get an official diagnosis of “your heart is precisely three sizes too small.” That would at least explain my lifelong hatred of Whoville.
Then it was on the treadmill and I can say proudly that I was able to hit my target heart rate and hold it with minimal difficulty. In fact, the entire test went smoothly and I was able to go home so obviously they didn’t see anything too horribly wrong with me. But what I really want to talk about is something I did during the entire procedure. Outside of two brief glances, I never looked at my heart on the monitor.
That would seem to go against my very nature. Everyone who knows me understands that I’m an incredibly curious person whose entire goal in life is to be continually learning. Getting a chance to see my heartbeat would seem to be a once in a lifetime opportunity. But I intentionally did not look at it or focus on it. Why I acted that way might say a lot about me.
I’ve come up with two reasons why I acted the way I did. The first is tied to the fact that the only person I trust is myself (and often not even that). What this means is that in any situation I am most comfortable being the one in charge and the one whose job it is to figure things out. Even though my medical expertise consists of being a football trainer in high school and the occasional episode of House I’d still consider myself more knowledgeable than someone whose entire life revolves around this test. That’s dumb I know so instead of looking at the monitor and trying to diagnose something that I know nothing about I just turned my head and let the experts handle it.
The other reason is a lot deeper and psychological. I don’t know if I wanted to face up to the fact that that little pulsating image on the screen is all of who I am. As long as my heart keeps pumping I am me; once it stops I become an it. That’s not something one really wants to confront. It’s what Yossarian discovers at the end of Catch-22. At the end of the day all we are is a combination of blood and guts and all of these noble constructs we develop to define our existence are flights of fancy. I live in head space more than physical space so coming face to face with that reality is one of the scariest things that I’ve had to go through recently. I didn’t want to stare it down on Friday afternoon. Maybe I have a little more growing to do still.
Best of 120 Minutes: Felt like posting a Throwing Muses video tonight. Of course I pick a song with Tanya Donnelly singing lead as opposed to Kirstin Hersh. Either way, I miss bands like this. It’s what made it fun to be in college back in the day.
The five random CD's for the week:
1) George Gershwin "Rhapsody in Blue"
2) The Mekons "Journey to the End of the Night"
3) Rufus Wainwright "Beneath the Stars"
4) Uncle Tupelo "Halls of Shame"
5) Sufjan Stevens "Illinois"
Thursday, February 14, 2008
When The Cure is no longer a cure
Important serious note to start: Thoughts and prayers go out to everyone at Northern Illinois. I’ve spent some time on that campus and know it fairly well. Very scary situation and I only can hope for the best. I have no idea where our society is at when events like this occur. It just doesn’t make sense.
Addendum to last night’s post: First, I’ve posted a picture of Kat from the London season. When I made my first Perfect Mate list (back in 1995 I believe) she came in tenth. She just has that whole Pacific Northwest vibe that I dig. No one remembers her and it is a shame. Also, I would like to change my vote on Best Fight to when Neil had his tongue nearly bitten in half during the London season. For those who don’t remember, Neil was a singer in a British punk band and to deal with a drunk crowd member he started singing directly in the guy’s face causing the guy to bite Neil’s tongue. Now that is a hardcore fight. Also, Neil is up there with Dominic and Lars as the cast members I would most like to have a beer with.
Well it’s that day. The day I dread more than any other. Ok, that’s not quite true. I make a big deal about hating Valentine’s Day but in reality it doesn’t really bug me. At least now I understand why I didn’t get a Valentine’s card today. In grade school it was a bit harsher when those sort of events occurred. Maybe I’ve just been hardened to life or I just enjoy being bitter. It’s a lot more fun to complain about a commercialized expression of feelings than deal with the fact that I’m not in a relationship at the moment.
Does not being in a relationship bother me? Obviously yes or I wouldn’t write about it so much. I am incredibly comfortable in my own skin so I’ve never defined myself by who I’m with, which makes being alone a lot easier to accept. But as someone told me this week, “You’re still hoping to one day come home like Ward Cleaver.” I don’t know if I would put it that way but yeah, I am missing one big facet of my life. I’ve said this before but there are only four things I want in life: a family that loves me, friends that care about me for who I am, respect from those I work with, and a girl to hold on to. That’s really it so missing one is kind of a big deal.
I know most of the fault here lies on me. Despite my claim that “dating me would have to be a positive NPV experience” I’ve been forced to recognize that most women do not run discounted cash flows in analyzing relationships. Nor am I able to predict a woman’s actions through spreadsheet modeling though if I ever get that genius grant I think I can make some great breathroughs in that regard. Those are just issues of my using digital thinking in an analog world. I can fix that. My fear of rejection, of the unknown, of not being fully in control of every possible scenario? That’s a much bigger issue.
But at the end I’d like to think that at my age I’ve come to terms with being who I am. I’m a nice guy who is smart and witty and will occasionally be called an arrogant prick. That’s me. How someone else judges me, whether they like me or not, doesn’t really impact who I am. I’m hoping keeping that in mind will remove the fears. That’s my hope at least.
Still, it is Valentine’s Day and I have the right to be bitter about it. Thus, I’m going to end with the really mislabeled Wednesday Night Music Club selection for the week. Chris Mills is this great guy out of Chicago who would write what would have to be the most bitter breakup songs in all of existence. Pure “I hate my life” songs with lines like “My eyes are blurry, if I had friends they would all be worried, I can’t believe you’re going back to Tennessee, 90 proof ain’t proof enough for me.” I’ll give him the last word for the week.
(Next week: the return of the 43 things. All will be explained in good time.)
Addendum to last night’s post: First, I’ve posted a picture of Kat from the London season. When I made my first Perfect Mate list (back in 1995 I believe) she came in tenth. She just has that whole Pacific Northwest vibe that I dig. No one remembers her and it is a shame. Also, I would like to change my vote on Best Fight to when Neil had his tongue nearly bitten in half during the London season. For those who don’t remember, Neil was a singer in a British punk band and to deal with a drunk crowd member he started singing directly in the guy’s face causing the guy to bite Neil’s tongue. Now that is a hardcore fight. Also, Neil is up there with Dominic and Lars as the cast members I would most like to have a beer with.
Well it’s that day. The day I dread more than any other. Ok, that’s not quite true. I make a big deal about hating Valentine’s Day but in reality it doesn’t really bug me. At least now I understand why I didn’t get a Valentine’s card today. In grade school it was a bit harsher when those sort of events occurred. Maybe I’ve just been hardened to life or I just enjoy being bitter. It’s a lot more fun to complain about a commercialized expression of feelings than deal with the fact that I’m not in a relationship at the moment.
Does not being in a relationship bother me? Obviously yes or I wouldn’t write about it so much. I am incredibly comfortable in my own skin so I’ve never defined myself by who I’m with, which makes being alone a lot easier to accept. But as someone told me this week, “You’re still hoping to one day come home like Ward Cleaver.” I don’t know if I would put it that way but yeah, I am missing one big facet of my life. I’ve said this before but there are only four things I want in life: a family that loves me, friends that care about me for who I am, respect from those I work with, and a girl to hold on to. That’s really it so missing one is kind of a big deal.
I know most of the fault here lies on me. Despite my claim that “dating me would have to be a positive NPV experience” I’ve been forced to recognize that most women do not run discounted cash flows in analyzing relationships. Nor am I able to predict a woman’s actions through spreadsheet modeling though if I ever get that genius grant I think I can make some great breathroughs in that regard. Those are just issues of my using digital thinking in an analog world. I can fix that. My fear of rejection, of the unknown, of not being fully in control of every possible scenario? That’s a much bigger issue.
But at the end I’d like to think that at my age I’ve come to terms with being who I am. I’m a nice guy who is smart and witty and will occasionally be called an arrogant prick. That’s me. How someone else judges me, whether they like me or not, doesn’t really impact who I am. I’m hoping keeping that in mind will remove the fears. That’s my hope at least.
Still, it is Valentine’s Day and I have the right to be bitter about it. Thus, I’m going to end with the really mislabeled Wednesday Night Music Club selection for the week. Chris Mills is this great guy out of Chicago who would write what would have to be the most bitter breakup songs in all of existence. Pure “I hate my life” songs with lines like “My eyes are blurry, if I had friends they would all be worried, I can’t believe you’re going back to Tennessee, 90 proof ain’t proof enough for me.” I’ll give him the last word for the week.
(Next week: the return of the 43 things. All will be explained in good time.)
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
This is a story of seven strangers
Preliminary Note # 1: I have to give a big shout out to Amy for her recent spate of great comments. You really should check out her blog at http://amyeats.blogspot.com/. It’s like mine if you replaced all of the comic book references with discussions of food. Plus, it’s written in a language that resembles English as opposed to my string of run on sentences combined into something quite unlike a paragraph. Anyway, check it out as it kicks ass and chews bubblegum at the same time (and she’s all out of gum).
Preliminary Note # 2: Ok, final offer for Valentine’s Day. Outback Steakhouse, Dairy Queen, Meet the Spartans and we’ll listen to Paula Cole’s “This Fire” on the way there so I can show my sensitive side. I’ll even listen to you discuss your feelings. Well, maybe not listen but at least I’ll be quiet and nod occasionally while reciting the history of the WWE title since 1962 to myself. It will at least look like I’m listening. Any takers? Or is it another night of bar trivia for good old EC?
Preliminary Note # 3: Received official notification that I have been granted the separation package. My last day at the slightly large phone company is scheduled to be March 28th. I’m wiring a countdown clock for my cubicle as I speak (write, whatever.)
Ok, now on to the important part. The Real World is getting ready to start its 20th season and MTV has decided to hold a vote for some of the best moments over the show’s history. Figured that I am more than qualified to provide my learned opinion even though I kind of stopped watching the show after they returned to New York (though I did watch most of the San Diego season for some bizarre reason). To make things even better I have brought on long time friend of the blog Super Dave to add in his choices as well.
Hottest Female:
EC: Kids today have no sense of history. Where is Julie from the first season of the Real World? She’s the only reason the show even had a second season because guys like me all went gaga for this southern girl. You’re telling me that Trishelle, someone I wouldn’t stand downwind of without a penicillin shot, is better than Julie? I’ll go with Jacinda in that she was the prettiest and the only one who actually had a real career after the show.
Super Dave: Kellie (New Orleans; not nominated), runners up: mallory (paris) became a model, Jacinda (london) model/actress married chris hardwick from singled out
Hottest Male:
EC: If the surveys were true and women value a sense of humor most of all then Dominic from LA wins this hands down. Of course that’s not true or Rodney Dangerfield would have been a God amongst men. Forced to choose, I’ll go with Brad as he looks like a dumber Brady Quinn if that is even possible.
Super Dave: As a heterosexual male I will change this to male I'd most like to hang out with - dominic (LA - not nominated), runner up: lars (london - not nominated)
Favorite Season:
EC: I’m the only person who will vote for London. I had a thing for Kat and Neil was all types of awesome. Runner up to Miami for just being a totally bizarre season.
Super Dave: New Orleans, runners up: Chicago and Seattle
Best Fight:
EC: How Stephen slapping Irene in Seattle doesn’t make best fight is beyond my comprehension. It even ends with that shot of the forlorn stuffed animal floating in Puget Sound. How can you top that? Pretty easy choice here as David and Tami set the standard for over the top arguing and near brawling resulting in possible criminal charges.
Super Dave: Austin (not nominated) because it was a real fight, and I really feel sorry for the guy who got hit because that was a pretty serious eye socket injury and it obviously put him out of commission for most of the show
Steamiest Scene:
EC: I just want to point out that the threesome in the shower in Miami is missing from the choices. Again, kids have no clue about their past any more. I mean, Flora broke the bathroom window trying to get a better look at what was going on. That might have been one of the best moments in the history of the show.
Super Dave: None, dumb. girls making out with girls jumped the shark a long time ago
Best Brush With the Law:
EC: Robin hitting the marine in San Diego was just classic followed by Brad getting arrested the same night. Best part of all of this was the one underage roommate who stayed home got to be the one having to sort things out including saying lines like “getting arrested is no big deal.”
Super Dave: Landon in real life (not nominated) assualted a horse at Mifflin Street Block Party in Madison, WI.
Best Meltdown:
EC: Even though it won’t win (because the chick from Denver had some legendary meltdowns) I’ll have to go with Overland Park’s own Dan chewing out Melissa on what still seems like the silliest thing imaginable. She opened his mail and pictures fell to the floor. That isn’t quite the capitol offense he made it out to be. Oh well, no one liked Melissa anyway.
Super Dave: Forget about sudden and short-lived emotional swings I'm taking 24/7 craziness with a tie between pre-intervention ruthie (not nominated), irene (not nominated)
Favorite Love Story:
EC: I need to point out something interesting when you look at the choices. Completely absent is Pam and Judd from San Francisco who, you know, ended up getting married. They weren’t dating on the show but you did get to see Judd act like such a nice guy as he just happened to push Pam’s boyfriend in the path of a metaphorical oncoming train. The surprise birthday party he put together featuring the boyfriend should be shown in schools as how to properly steal a girl from another guy.
Super Dave: None. least favorite was elkah and that poor man's version of gavin rossdale. runners up: every other pair who were only couples while the cameras were rolling. best wishes to those who got together later in real life after the show was over (judd and pam, wes and johanna)
Roommate from Hell:
EC: Really tough call here. Beth actually became more annoying after she left the show and imagined herself to be some type of big star. She also became maybe the most unlikely person to be featured in Playboy, a fact that I probably should have kept to myself. Can’t go for anyone other than Puck though. He’s the type of guy who would be cool to hang with for a few hours until you realize the guy is always on. Read Dave Eggers “A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius” for his description of meeting Puck and wondering what drugs the guy was on.
Super Dave: Everyone in the boston house except cyrus
Biggest Playa:
EC: Teck from Hawaii. Hands down, no questions asked, they shouldn’t even run a poll. Screw Matador and J-Dog, I want Teck as my wingman. I never understood why MTV didn’t just give this guy his own show after this series.
Super Dave: Cara (chi) for hooking up with Todd Park Mohr [insert Big Head or Monsters double-entendre here] and a guy that Reali new from Princeton. runner up: David (New Orleans). "come on be my baby tonight."
Best Phonecall Gone Bad:
EC: Jacquese from San Diego. See the Best Brush with the Law as this is where the “jail isn’t that bad” line comes from.
Super Dave: Wes (Austin - not nominated) with every girl he tried to pick up from the 'groupie drawer' of phone numbers
Gone Baby Gone:
EC: Yep, I’ll give my vote to Irene. Never knew that Lyme Disease caused psychotic episodes. That and if I remember one episode centered around how Seattle’s damp weather was messing up her curly hair.
Super Dave: Irene. classic scene.
Best Dance Off:
EC: I’ll go for Melissa at the strip club in New Orleans. Not that I would happen to know which specific club that is or anything.
Super Dave: dumb. johanna maybe?
Comments anyone?
Preliminary Note # 2: Ok, final offer for Valentine’s Day. Outback Steakhouse, Dairy Queen, Meet the Spartans and we’ll listen to Paula Cole’s “This Fire” on the way there so I can show my sensitive side. I’ll even listen to you discuss your feelings. Well, maybe not listen but at least I’ll be quiet and nod occasionally while reciting the history of the WWE title since 1962 to myself. It will at least look like I’m listening. Any takers? Or is it another night of bar trivia for good old EC?
Preliminary Note # 3: Received official notification that I have been granted the separation package. My last day at the slightly large phone company is scheduled to be March 28th. I’m wiring a countdown clock for my cubicle as I speak (write, whatever.)
Ok, now on to the important part. The Real World is getting ready to start its 20th season and MTV has decided to hold a vote for some of the best moments over the show’s history. Figured that I am more than qualified to provide my learned opinion even though I kind of stopped watching the show after they returned to New York (though I did watch most of the San Diego season for some bizarre reason). To make things even better I have brought on long time friend of the blog Super Dave to add in his choices as well.
Hottest Female:
EC: Kids today have no sense of history. Where is Julie from the first season of the Real World? She’s the only reason the show even had a second season because guys like me all went gaga for this southern girl. You’re telling me that Trishelle, someone I wouldn’t stand downwind of without a penicillin shot, is better than Julie? I’ll go with Jacinda in that she was the prettiest and the only one who actually had a real career after the show.
Super Dave: Kellie (New Orleans; not nominated), runners up: mallory (paris) became a model, Jacinda (london) model/actress married chris hardwick from singled out
Hottest Male:
EC: If the surveys were true and women value a sense of humor most of all then Dominic from LA wins this hands down. Of course that’s not true or Rodney Dangerfield would have been a God amongst men. Forced to choose, I’ll go with Brad as he looks like a dumber Brady Quinn if that is even possible.
Super Dave: As a heterosexual male I will change this to male I'd most like to hang out with - dominic (LA - not nominated), runner up: lars (london - not nominated)
Favorite Season:
EC: I’m the only person who will vote for London. I had a thing for Kat and Neil was all types of awesome. Runner up to Miami for just being a totally bizarre season.
Super Dave: New Orleans, runners up: Chicago and Seattle
Best Fight:
EC: How Stephen slapping Irene in Seattle doesn’t make best fight is beyond my comprehension. It even ends with that shot of the forlorn stuffed animal floating in Puget Sound. How can you top that? Pretty easy choice here as David and Tami set the standard for over the top arguing and near brawling resulting in possible criminal charges.
Super Dave: Austin (not nominated) because it was a real fight, and I really feel sorry for the guy who got hit because that was a pretty serious eye socket injury and it obviously put him out of commission for most of the show
Steamiest Scene:
EC: I just want to point out that the threesome in the shower in Miami is missing from the choices. Again, kids have no clue about their past any more. I mean, Flora broke the bathroom window trying to get a better look at what was going on. That might have been one of the best moments in the history of the show.
Super Dave: None, dumb. girls making out with girls jumped the shark a long time ago
Best Brush With the Law:
EC: Robin hitting the marine in San Diego was just classic followed by Brad getting arrested the same night. Best part of all of this was the one underage roommate who stayed home got to be the one having to sort things out including saying lines like “getting arrested is no big deal.”
Super Dave: Landon in real life (not nominated) assualted a horse at Mifflin Street Block Party in Madison, WI.
Best Meltdown:
EC: Even though it won’t win (because the chick from Denver had some legendary meltdowns) I’ll have to go with Overland Park’s own Dan chewing out Melissa on what still seems like the silliest thing imaginable. She opened his mail and pictures fell to the floor. That isn’t quite the capitol offense he made it out to be. Oh well, no one liked Melissa anyway.
Super Dave: Forget about sudden and short-lived emotional swings I'm taking 24/7 craziness with a tie between pre-intervention ruthie (not nominated), irene (not nominated)
Favorite Love Story:
EC: I need to point out something interesting when you look at the choices. Completely absent is Pam and Judd from San Francisco who, you know, ended up getting married. They weren’t dating on the show but you did get to see Judd act like such a nice guy as he just happened to push Pam’s boyfriend in the path of a metaphorical oncoming train. The surprise birthday party he put together featuring the boyfriend should be shown in schools as how to properly steal a girl from another guy.
Super Dave: None. least favorite was elkah and that poor man's version of gavin rossdale. runners up: every other pair who were only couples while the cameras were rolling. best wishes to those who got together later in real life after the show was over (judd and pam, wes and johanna)
Roommate from Hell:
EC: Really tough call here. Beth actually became more annoying after she left the show and imagined herself to be some type of big star. She also became maybe the most unlikely person to be featured in Playboy, a fact that I probably should have kept to myself. Can’t go for anyone other than Puck though. He’s the type of guy who would be cool to hang with for a few hours until you realize the guy is always on. Read Dave Eggers “A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius” for his description of meeting Puck and wondering what drugs the guy was on.
Super Dave: Everyone in the boston house except cyrus
Biggest Playa:
EC: Teck from Hawaii. Hands down, no questions asked, they shouldn’t even run a poll. Screw Matador and J-Dog, I want Teck as my wingman. I never understood why MTV didn’t just give this guy his own show after this series.
Super Dave: Cara (chi) for hooking up with Todd Park Mohr [insert Big Head or Monsters double-entendre here] and a guy that Reali new from Princeton. runner up: David (New Orleans). "come on be my baby tonight."
Best Phonecall Gone Bad:
EC: Jacquese from San Diego. See the Best Brush with the Law as this is where the “jail isn’t that bad” line comes from.
Super Dave: Wes (Austin - not nominated) with every girl he tried to pick up from the 'groupie drawer' of phone numbers
Gone Baby Gone:
EC: Yep, I’ll give my vote to Irene. Never knew that Lyme Disease caused psychotic episodes. That and if I remember one episode centered around how Seattle’s damp weather was messing up her curly hair.
Super Dave: Irene. classic scene.
Best Dance Off:
EC: I’ll go for Melissa at the strip club in New Orleans. Not that I would happen to know which specific club that is or anything.
Super Dave: dumb. johanna maybe?
Comments anyone?
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
The Leadership Secrets of Lando
I have no real reason for posting the above pictures other than they are wicked awesome. It’s the type of model that I would like to have in my apartment. Admittedly, it would explain why no one ever visits my apartment but I’d appreciate it.
(For as advanced a technology base that the Empire had cultivated they sure had some odd design ideas. Let’s build a really big tank and put it on top of really skinny legs thus making it incredibly vulnerable to tipping over if it happened to hit a rope. Oh, and how about building armor that is able to resist laser blasts by can be crushed by swinging logs. And let’s be sure that are fighter craft have really big wings to provide the enemy with a really nice target. When you look at it that way it’s no wonder that they left the exhaust port unshielded.)
Looks like I still need to increase my Valentine’s Day offer. Yesterday I promised the lucky lady a bloomin onion followed by the shake of her choice accompanied of course by my insight into how the Death Star’s trash compactor design is woefully inefficient. Tonight I will make it a true dinner and a movie opportunity. The movie will be Meet the Spartans. It’s like Airplane if Airplane was about 300 and not at all funny. If for some reason that movie is sold out we will then try to find a showing of The Hottie and the Nottie as Paris Hilton really needs our support. In that case it will be an intimate night at the movies as we will be the only people in the theater.
(Seriously, that’s the name of the latest Paris Hilton film that opened this week. Richard Roeper did the math on the box office receipts and figured out that on average there were three people in the theater at any one time. Everyone got on My Beloved Lindsay’s “I Know Who Killed Me” but at least people went to see it. Sure, my ten viewings bulked up the numbers but there were other people in the theater at least.)
(Anyway, that’s the latest offer. Will someone take me up on it? Will I have to increase the stakes tomorrow? Or am I going to have to settle for playing trivia on Valentine’s Day? You make the call.)
Back to the Paris Hilton thing. That, along with the fact that there is a film starring Larry the Cable Guy and Jenny McCarthy about to come out, really has me thinking. Given that I am looking at having free time on my hands for the first time, well, ever I really might take a go at writing a script. Sure, if I can weasel a month or two of free time my focus will be on the novel first (that and getting a job but a novel will be more fun) but writing a movie script can’t be too difficult. Just look at the crap that is being made right now. I sure as hell could write something better than that.
For those who are wondering about the novel (as I may have picked up some new readers) here is the base outline for “Until We Say Goodbye”. It’s vaguely a retelling of my early 30’s involving a guy (named Brian because my male leads are always named Brian) who is too smart for his own good with an unnerving tendency to spend much of his time at the end of a bar. His group of friends, lovingly referred to as “the rejects from the island of misfit toys” decide that what he needs is an image change to improve his luck. Through a series of events Brian ends up dating a singer he has been mad about from a distance for years. Can Brian win the girl? What about the job that is slowly killing his soul? What happens when the quarter life crisis becomes a mid-life crisis? Perfect world this will be a mix of High Fidelity and Office Space. Worst case, it’s Bridget Jones Diary with fart jokes. Win either way.
(For as advanced a technology base that the Empire had cultivated they sure had some odd design ideas. Let’s build a really big tank and put it on top of really skinny legs thus making it incredibly vulnerable to tipping over if it happened to hit a rope. Oh, and how about building armor that is able to resist laser blasts by can be crushed by swinging logs. And let’s be sure that are fighter craft have really big wings to provide the enemy with a really nice target. When you look at it that way it’s no wonder that they left the exhaust port unshielded.)
Looks like I still need to increase my Valentine’s Day offer. Yesterday I promised the lucky lady a bloomin onion followed by the shake of her choice accompanied of course by my insight into how the Death Star’s trash compactor design is woefully inefficient. Tonight I will make it a true dinner and a movie opportunity. The movie will be Meet the Spartans. It’s like Airplane if Airplane was about 300 and not at all funny. If for some reason that movie is sold out we will then try to find a showing of The Hottie and the Nottie as Paris Hilton really needs our support. In that case it will be an intimate night at the movies as we will be the only people in the theater.
(Seriously, that’s the name of the latest Paris Hilton film that opened this week. Richard Roeper did the math on the box office receipts and figured out that on average there were three people in the theater at any one time. Everyone got on My Beloved Lindsay’s “I Know Who Killed Me” but at least people went to see it. Sure, my ten viewings bulked up the numbers but there were other people in the theater at least.)
(Anyway, that’s the latest offer. Will someone take me up on it? Will I have to increase the stakes tomorrow? Or am I going to have to settle for playing trivia on Valentine’s Day? You make the call.)
Back to the Paris Hilton thing. That, along with the fact that there is a film starring Larry the Cable Guy and Jenny McCarthy about to come out, really has me thinking. Given that I am looking at having free time on my hands for the first time, well, ever I really might take a go at writing a script. Sure, if I can weasel a month or two of free time my focus will be on the novel first (that and getting a job but a novel will be more fun) but writing a movie script can’t be too difficult. Just look at the crap that is being made right now. I sure as hell could write something better than that.
For those who are wondering about the novel (as I may have picked up some new readers) here is the base outline for “Until We Say Goodbye”. It’s vaguely a retelling of my early 30’s involving a guy (named Brian because my male leads are always named Brian) who is too smart for his own good with an unnerving tendency to spend much of his time at the end of a bar. His group of friends, lovingly referred to as “the rejects from the island of misfit toys” decide that what he needs is an image change to improve his luck. Through a series of events Brian ends up dating a singer he has been mad about from a distance for years. Can Brian win the girl? What about the job that is slowly killing his soul? What happens when the quarter life crisis becomes a mid-life crisis? Perfect world this will be a mix of High Fidelity and Office Space. Worst case, it’s Bridget Jones Diary with fart jokes. Win either way.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Once the wizard grants me courage...
Random note of the evening: While leaving work I saw a car with a COREY license plate. This gave me the momentary hope that Corey Feldman worked at my office as I couldn’t imagine anyone else having a COREY license plate. (I doubt Corey Haim can even afford a car.) I’d just like to walk up to him at the cafeteria and go “Dude, you were awesome in Meatballs 4.”
(That was the version of Meatballs that featured water skiing. Yes, I’ve seen it. I am not proud of that fact. Doesn’t matter how many foreign films I see I doubt I’ll be able to live that one down.
So I had nearly one taker on the Get EC out of his apartment on Valentine’s Day contest. Looks like I’ll have to up the ante. Not only am I offering a dinner at the Outback Steakhouse (it’s like having dinner in Sydney if you imagined Australia resembling a mall parking lot) but I will now throw in dessert at Dairy Queen as well. I would go for Baskin Robbins but 31 flavors? That’s too rich for my blood. Plus, they offer things like French Vanilla and they are therefore unpatriotic and cannot be trusted.
(You think I’m joking but remember that Kansas just voted for Mike Huckabee. I’m surprised there aren’t pickets outside Baskin Robbins for that fact alone.)
Switching gears here as I have something a little more serious and interesting to write about. (Though really, if anyone wants a dinner date at any time look me up. I might as well make the time I have left in this town interesting.) It came up during the commentary to the movie Once and it is something that is really applicable to where I am now.
It focused on why the movie was called Once despite the fact that there is nothing in the movie that would indicate what that would mean. John Carney the director described it as an Irish condition where you find really intelligent, witty guys hanging out at the bar behind a pint of Guinness going “Once I get a job, once I write my script, once I leave home…” but never going anywhere other than the end of the bar. They’re brilliant people but they are frozen behind their pints. As you could guess this is something I can identify with.
It’s amazing how quickly my life can get frozen in place. As my friend Erik once pointed out, I put my better days in the future, which is an awfully poor place for them. It’s always been once I meet someone, once I figure out what I want to do with myself, once I find time to write my novel, then I’ll be happy. I never make headway on those goals; in some instances I seem to be intentionally be working in the opposite direction. I know why this is even though it is something I am loathe to admit.
Basically it is easier for me to accept my inadequate life than face the risk of failing at my dreams. It’s easy to think about in terms of my writing: if I sit down and write a novel and it is horrible then my entire dream of being a writer is shot and the fantasy really keeps me going. It’s worse though when you think of it in terms of meeting people, dating, having relationships, however you want to describe it. If you open yourself up to someone you run the risk of being hurt and you have to ask yourself whether you want to risk pain in order to obtain happiness. Or if a blah life is acceptable.
What I’m hoping for is that the fact that I’m taking the separation package and having the world in front of me will break me out of this fog. I can go pretty much anywhere and do anything. I’ve spent my life setting myself up to be in precisely this situation. For once, I can let myself fail. If I can convince myself that failure can be the best thing that can happen to me I might just become the person I envision myself to be.
(That was the version of Meatballs that featured water skiing. Yes, I’ve seen it. I am not proud of that fact. Doesn’t matter how many foreign films I see I doubt I’ll be able to live that one down.
So I had nearly one taker on the Get EC out of his apartment on Valentine’s Day contest. Looks like I’ll have to up the ante. Not only am I offering a dinner at the Outback Steakhouse (it’s like having dinner in Sydney if you imagined Australia resembling a mall parking lot) but I will now throw in dessert at Dairy Queen as well. I would go for Baskin Robbins but 31 flavors? That’s too rich for my blood. Plus, they offer things like French Vanilla and they are therefore unpatriotic and cannot be trusted.
(You think I’m joking but remember that Kansas just voted for Mike Huckabee. I’m surprised there aren’t pickets outside Baskin Robbins for that fact alone.)
Switching gears here as I have something a little more serious and interesting to write about. (Though really, if anyone wants a dinner date at any time look me up. I might as well make the time I have left in this town interesting.) It came up during the commentary to the movie Once and it is something that is really applicable to where I am now.
It focused on why the movie was called Once despite the fact that there is nothing in the movie that would indicate what that would mean. John Carney the director described it as an Irish condition where you find really intelligent, witty guys hanging out at the bar behind a pint of Guinness going “Once I get a job, once I write my script, once I leave home…” but never going anywhere other than the end of the bar. They’re brilliant people but they are frozen behind their pints. As you could guess this is something I can identify with.
It’s amazing how quickly my life can get frozen in place. As my friend Erik once pointed out, I put my better days in the future, which is an awfully poor place for them. It’s always been once I meet someone, once I figure out what I want to do with myself, once I find time to write my novel, then I’ll be happy. I never make headway on those goals; in some instances I seem to be intentionally be working in the opposite direction. I know why this is even though it is something I am loathe to admit.
Basically it is easier for me to accept my inadequate life than face the risk of failing at my dreams. It’s easy to think about in terms of my writing: if I sit down and write a novel and it is horrible then my entire dream of being a writer is shot and the fantasy really keeps me going. It’s worse though when you think of it in terms of meeting people, dating, having relationships, however you want to describe it. If you open yourself up to someone you run the risk of being hurt and you have to ask yourself whether you want to risk pain in order to obtain happiness. Or if a blah life is acceptable.
What I’m hoping for is that the fact that I’m taking the separation package and having the world in front of me will break me out of this fog. I can go pretty much anywhere and do anything. I’ve spent my life setting myself up to be in precisely this situation. For once, I can let myself fail. If I can convince myself that failure can be the best thing that can happen to me I might just become the person I envision myself to be.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Please make the love songs stop
Well it’s that time of year again. My least favorite week of the year when all of pop culture reminds me of the current status of my life. I’ll use the following exchange at trivia to prove my point.
Roland the Trivia Host: “Our first category is Movies with “Heart” in honor of Valentine’s Day.”
EC: “Boo!”
Roland the Trivia Host: “The next category is Flower Jumble, also in honor of Valentine’s Day.”
EC: “Boo!”
Roland the Trivia Host: “We also have It’s Cold…”
Keith the Trivia Opponent: “Which is in honor of Chris’ cold, black heart.”
So yeah, it’s Valentine’s Day again. And once again I find myself alone out in this wilderness. (Can I call it a wilderness? I don’t think I can even see a tree from my apartment?) This does make this week rather annoying as everything you see on television revolves around buying gifts for your loved one. It’s a week of sweetness and pinks and flowers and I have to counter it by listening to the Cure all freaking week. But, I think I may have come up with an experiment here that might make things more interesting.
Let’s Sadie Hawkins Day Valentine’s Day this year. Or more specifically, let’s just have me sit back and have someone ask me out for a change. If you’ve got a secret crush on me here’s your chance. If you know someone who has a secret crush on me that will work as well. Hell, if you are just looking for a free meal I’ve got a gift card to Outback Steakhouse that I need to use so this could be your lucky day. (Yes, I will pay for our date with a gift card. That is just how I roll.) Is this a sad and rather pathetic act on my part? Well, yeah, of course but it’s either this or go and heckle people at the Air Supply concert. This could turn out to be slightly more interesting.
Of course, there is the possibility that no one will respond but I’ll just take that as one big rejection. That’s better in a way. It’s like tearing off one big band aid instead of one hundred little ones. Might as well get the suffering over with as soon as possible. Plus, if there is one thing I am used to in this life it is rejection. I think if someone agreed to go out with me my reaction would be “Seriously?”
That said, I am not in that bitter a mood, at least not yet. I watched Once this evening and could conceivably spend the rest of the week watching Before Sunrise, Before Sunset and 2 Days in Paris. Watching Julie Delpy films over and over again does make life bearable.
Best of 120 Minutes: I was trying to think of a song I would have used on mix tapes in college but couldn’t think of a good one. Then I remembered that I fell for a girl because she gave me a Blake Babies CD. That’s what it was like in the early 90’s. I miss those days.
The five random CDs of the week:
1) Matt Nathanson “At the Point”
2) Lyle Lovett “It’s Not Big, It’s Large”
3) Cowboy Mouth “All You Need is Live”
4) Richard Buckner “S/T”
5) Pearl Jam “Vitalogy”
Roland the Trivia Host: “Our first category is Movies with “Heart” in honor of Valentine’s Day.”
EC: “Boo!”
Roland the Trivia Host: “The next category is Flower Jumble, also in honor of Valentine’s Day.”
EC: “Boo!”
Roland the Trivia Host: “We also have It’s Cold…”
Keith the Trivia Opponent: “Which is in honor of Chris’ cold, black heart.”
So yeah, it’s Valentine’s Day again. And once again I find myself alone out in this wilderness. (Can I call it a wilderness? I don’t think I can even see a tree from my apartment?) This does make this week rather annoying as everything you see on television revolves around buying gifts for your loved one. It’s a week of sweetness and pinks and flowers and I have to counter it by listening to the Cure all freaking week. But, I think I may have come up with an experiment here that might make things more interesting.
Let’s Sadie Hawkins Day Valentine’s Day this year. Or more specifically, let’s just have me sit back and have someone ask me out for a change. If you’ve got a secret crush on me here’s your chance. If you know someone who has a secret crush on me that will work as well. Hell, if you are just looking for a free meal I’ve got a gift card to Outback Steakhouse that I need to use so this could be your lucky day. (Yes, I will pay for our date with a gift card. That is just how I roll.) Is this a sad and rather pathetic act on my part? Well, yeah, of course but it’s either this or go and heckle people at the Air Supply concert. This could turn out to be slightly more interesting.
Of course, there is the possibility that no one will respond but I’ll just take that as one big rejection. That’s better in a way. It’s like tearing off one big band aid instead of one hundred little ones. Might as well get the suffering over with as soon as possible. Plus, if there is one thing I am used to in this life it is rejection. I think if someone agreed to go out with me my reaction would be “Seriously?”
That said, I am not in that bitter a mood, at least not yet. I watched Once this evening and could conceivably spend the rest of the week watching Before Sunrise, Before Sunset and 2 Days in Paris. Watching Julie Delpy films over and over again does make life bearable.
Best of 120 Minutes: I was trying to think of a song I would have used on mix tapes in college but couldn’t think of a good one. Then I remembered that I fell for a girl because she gave me a Blake Babies CD. That’s what it was like in the early 90’s. I miss those days.
The five random CDs of the week:
1) Matt Nathanson “At the Point”
2) Lyle Lovett “It’s Not Big, It’s Large”
3) Cowboy Mouth “All You Need is Live”
4) Richard Buckner “S/T”
5) Pearl Jam “Vitalogy”
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Personally, I blame Tom Cruise
I just have to say that I find it bizarrely funny that people ask me at work about the rumor that I applied for the separation package. This after I wrote about it on a public website that gets hits from around the world. Of course, this may also imply that no one actually reads what I write here. I’m just going to ignore that thought for the time being because it is really, really depressing.
(Again, yes I applied. I expect to hear about my status tomorrow. I haven’t officially made a decision but let’s say I’m 90/10 for accepting it. Stranger things have happened though, like the Giants winning the Super Bowl.)
Well, in our celebrity gossip news of the day Kirsten Dunst checked into rehab at Cirque Lodge in Utah. Yes, the same locale My Beloved Lindsay spent her summer. I’d have to say that this one hurts me more since Kirsten actually was on my last perfect mate list, checking in at #5 and beating Gwyneth Paltrow and Beth Orton. So I definitely had a thing for her. Sure, the red hair in Spider-Man had something to do with it but I always found her to be really attractive and she had legitimate talent. I had recently started to hear some tales from my sources about her habits though and a rehab trip isn’t a surprise. Sad, but not a surprise.
Since I’m really struggling for topics here right now I guess I’ll talk about Survivor. First off, I was watching the show only because I’ve taken a night off from trivia. Last night it came down to guessing the state quarter and I won based on my intense studies of what quarter a person may have in his pocket at any point in time. I needed a break after that and thought that watching the first episode of the new season would be a good idea.
This time they have ten fans going against ten favorites from past seasons. Since I’ve kind of fallen out of watching the show I only really knew three of them. Eliza I never really liked and I’m kind of surprised that she is on the show. Amy who is one of my absolute favorite players ever. She ran the game in a rather dictatorial manner and almost won as a result. And of course, Johnny Fairplay who everyone loves to hate.
I thought that this would be Fairplay’s game to lose. If I was playing he is the exact guy I would want around at all times. If you keep him to the finals you are guaranteed to win because no one is willing to grant him a million dollars. Or, whenever you feel the heat is on you you turn on Fairplay with the argument “how can you trust him? He’s the one to get rid of.” He’s a scapegoat and an ally all in one.
Well, Johnny decided to not play the game. His girlfriend is seven months pregnant and he felt better off by being voted out so he wouldn’t have to worry about her. That’s nice and all but it is a bit of a joke. It’s not like he didn’t know she was pregnant when he signed on for the show. Don’t know why this suddenly became an issue. Plus, it makes the show very boring very quickly. And that’s not a good thing.
Weekend’s coming. I’m planning on enjoying it. How I don’t have the vaguest clue.
(Again, yes I applied. I expect to hear about my status tomorrow. I haven’t officially made a decision but let’s say I’m 90/10 for accepting it. Stranger things have happened though, like the Giants winning the Super Bowl.)
Well, in our celebrity gossip news of the day Kirsten Dunst checked into rehab at Cirque Lodge in Utah. Yes, the same locale My Beloved Lindsay spent her summer. I’d have to say that this one hurts me more since Kirsten actually was on my last perfect mate list, checking in at #5 and beating Gwyneth Paltrow and Beth Orton. So I definitely had a thing for her. Sure, the red hair in Spider-Man had something to do with it but I always found her to be really attractive and she had legitimate talent. I had recently started to hear some tales from my sources about her habits though and a rehab trip isn’t a surprise. Sad, but not a surprise.
Since I’m really struggling for topics here right now I guess I’ll talk about Survivor. First off, I was watching the show only because I’ve taken a night off from trivia. Last night it came down to guessing the state quarter and I won based on my intense studies of what quarter a person may have in his pocket at any point in time. I needed a break after that and thought that watching the first episode of the new season would be a good idea.
This time they have ten fans going against ten favorites from past seasons. Since I’ve kind of fallen out of watching the show I only really knew three of them. Eliza I never really liked and I’m kind of surprised that she is on the show. Amy who is one of my absolute favorite players ever. She ran the game in a rather dictatorial manner and almost won as a result. And of course, Johnny Fairplay who everyone loves to hate.
I thought that this would be Fairplay’s game to lose. If I was playing he is the exact guy I would want around at all times. If you keep him to the finals you are guaranteed to win because no one is willing to grant him a million dollars. Or, whenever you feel the heat is on you you turn on Fairplay with the argument “how can you trust him? He’s the one to get rid of.” He’s a scapegoat and an ally all in one.
Well, Johnny decided to not play the game. His girlfriend is seven months pregnant and he felt better off by being voted out so he wouldn’t have to worry about her. That’s nice and all but it is a bit of a joke. It’s not like he didn’t know she was pregnant when he signed on for the show. Don’t know why this suddenly became an issue. Plus, it makes the show very boring very quickly. And that’s not a good thing.
Weekend’s coming. I’m planning on enjoying it. How I don’t have the vaguest clue.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
You got lucky
Wednesday Night Music Club: A lot of people wonder why I am the way I am. I certainly am a few standard deviations from the average. I’d like to blame this Tom Petty video for some of this. It’s not something that an eleven year old should be exposed to three times a day for months as this video was always on MTV. I think I’m still scarred by the baby turning into a pig. And why the hell are they eating Alice at the end? Tom Petty looks freaky enough as it is; I didn’t need a psychedelic video to cement that point.
(For as many strange influences I encountered in my youth due to having three older siblings my younger brother had it worse. It’s pretty amazing for me to realize that I started playing Dungeons and Dragons when I was nine years old. We taught my little brother how to play when he was six. That’s probably a little too young to be discussing enchanted swords and slaughtering kobolds. )
Tom Petty has been on my mind recently. Obviously there was the Super Bowl halftime performance, which brought him more mainstream attention than he has received in a decade. But mainly it is because I listened to Full Moon Fever today because it showed up in the random CD algorithm on Sunday. I think the best way to explain my music collection is discussing why I have Full Moon Fever.
Now I bought my first CD player in 1991; buying my older brother’s old one when he got a new system. I also started college in 1991 and I could guess that Full Moon Fever was in my first batch of CDs purchased. Definitely within the first twenty. Now I have zero problems with the purchase. It is a good album and was massively huge and even the music snob in me has no problems with Tom Petty. I don’t know anyone who bad mouths him. He’s written some great songs, never seemed like a bad guy and would always put on a good show on tour.
But I can say in all honesty that today was the first time that I played that CD since college. It’s just been sitting in my CD collection for more than a decade. Now some people would consider that to be a waste. Obviously at some point I could have sold it for some financial benefit but it is something I would never consider. I mean, it is a good disc after all. Just because I don’t listen to it doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t have it.
That’s the strange mindset I have with music. Of all my discs there are probably fifty that I listen to regularly. A few others fall into a once a year category. Some discs I keep solely for certain moods: Sonny Landredth when I’m depressed, Howie Day when I’m bored, Paula Cole when I want to remember that I’m an idiot. But there are others that just exist. I don’t have a problem with that. I’m kind of proud of it. That is what a collection is for after all. Even as I work on filling the Zune Full Moon Fever isn’t on the list of discs to burn. But someday I will just so I can have it in another media. And it will probably be another decade before I listen to it.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Oh vanity, thy plate is so sweet
People confuse me. There is a reason why I like numbers more than people. 2 + 3 always equals 5, except in those odd instances when I decide to work in base 4 and then 2 + 3 equals 11. But there are rules and expected outcomes. Nothing can really surprise you when you work with numbers. People, on the other hand, tend to operate in a world that avoids all sense of normality.
This dawned on me as I was driving to work this morning. I was late as always though I at least had the excuse that I voted. (I cast my vote for Mike Gravel. I figured he should at least get one vote.) While driving on the flooded streets because despite five years of my protests Kansas City has still not been convinced that sewers are a good idea I saw what has to be the most amazing vanity plate of all time.
The car had a plate that said ENVY ME. The guy was driving an Acura.
Now I’ll have to say it was a nice Acura. Even had tinted windows because that is cool if you’re like seventeen. But I’m supposed to envy someone driving an Acura? There are some cars that would make me go “Man, I wish I had that car” but this wasn’t one of them.
What type of person puts ENVY ME on their license plate? Seriously, how fucked up do you have to be to decide to place that on your car? People call me an arrogant bastard but I have never proclaimed to the world that everyone should want to be like me. It would be a nicer world if that was the case but I’m not openly advocating it. I sure as hell wouldn’t use my car as a billboard for that opinion.
I’m just trying to figure this one out. This isn’t a rash decision like a t-shirt purchase. You have to fill out forms to get one of these. Whoever did this has to think so highly of themselves and their life that they truly feel that they are the ultimate in human evolution. We are beyond the realm of confidence. We’ve even left the world of douchebaggery behind. This is a level of insanity that I have never before encountered. Especially when any rational person would think that putting this on your car would be tempting fate in such a way that you’d expect an asteroid to land on your car.
(It’s also horribly false advertising. You live in Kansas City, why the hell should I envy you?)
I’ve been trying to think of equivalents to this in my life. I remember seeing a car with CMYVET as its plate but that was a Corvette. There is at least some justification for that in a white trash sort of way. The best example was from one time walking to the train station in downtown Chicago. It was a Friday in May, one of those first nice days where you are happy that summer is finally near. Right in front of Union Station was a guy, balding, slightly over weight and smoking a cigar, in a red convertible with the top down and the radio blaring. I looked at him, paused for a moment, and almost yelled “Dude, how small is your penis?”
That’s all this is. Envy Me? If you have to ask the answer is no.
This dawned on me as I was driving to work this morning. I was late as always though I at least had the excuse that I voted. (I cast my vote for Mike Gravel. I figured he should at least get one vote.) While driving on the flooded streets because despite five years of my protests Kansas City has still not been convinced that sewers are a good idea I saw what has to be the most amazing vanity plate of all time.
The car had a plate that said ENVY ME. The guy was driving an Acura.
Now I’ll have to say it was a nice Acura. Even had tinted windows because that is cool if you’re like seventeen. But I’m supposed to envy someone driving an Acura? There are some cars that would make me go “Man, I wish I had that car” but this wasn’t one of them.
What type of person puts ENVY ME on their license plate? Seriously, how fucked up do you have to be to decide to place that on your car? People call me an arrogant bastard but I have never proclaimed to the world that everyone should want to be like me. It would be a nicer world if that was the case but I’m not openly advocating it. I sure as hell wouldn’t use my car as a billboard for that opinion.
I’m just trying to figure this one out. This isn’t a rash decision like a t-shirt purchase. You have to fill out forms to get one of these. Whoever did this has to think so highly of themselves and their life that they truly feel that they are the ultimate in human evolution. We are beyond the realm of confidence. We’ve even left the world of douchebaggery behind. This is a level of insanity that I have never before encountered. Especially when any rational person would think that putting this on your car would be tempting fate in such a way that you’d expect an asteroid to land on your car.
(It’s also horribly false advertising. You live in Kansas City, why the hell should I envy you?)
I’ve been trying to think of equivalents to this in my life. I remember seeing a car with CMYVET as its plate but that was a Corvette. There is at least some justification for that in a white trash sort of way. The best example was from one time walking to the train station in downtown Chicago. It was a Friday in May, one of those first nice days where you are happy that summer is finally near. Right in front of Union Station was a guy, balding, slightly over weight and smoking a cigar, in a red convertible with the top down and the radio blaring. I looked at him, paused for a moment, and almost yelled “Dude, how small is your penis?”
That’s all this is. Envy Me? If you have to ask the answer is no.
Monday, February 04, 2008
End of an era
So Bob Knight retired today. Or at least he resigned, it’s not very clear at the moment. Given that it is Coach Knight we can’t say much for certain. It’s possible that he was fired or that he threatened to garrote a player at midcourt for missing a free throw. Anything is possible.
I have strange feelings towards Coach Knight as I tend to defend him more than most people. It’s not that I grew up cheering Indiana but I at least had grudging respect for his program. Isiah Thomas did go to a local high school so as a kid I was happy to see him win a championship at Indiana. Knight was a hard ass with a nasty temper but you knew that he was a good coach. I still remember being in the stands at Illinois-Indiana games and being able to hear Knight’s voice echoing through the arena. That impressed the hell out of me, mainly because I never could tell if Lou Henson was even awake on the sidelines.
(Plus whenever he walked on or off the court you had a feeling that he was going to punch out a band member. That always added to the enjoyment.)
So I never had the hatred towards Knight as I did towards Dean Smith or Roy Williams or that traitor Bill Self or Bruce Pearl, the man personally responsible for having me endure four years of bad basketball at Illinois. Plus, as a Duke fan I was well aware that Coach K played for and coached with Knight. I couldn’t hate Indiana because they played the same type of basketball that I loved at Duke. Motion offense, man to man defense and a tendency to scrap their way to victory.
What I’ve always found interesting is that Knight and Coach K are really the same coach with just a difference in perception. Coach K hides his anger and volatility better. He has an image of being this kind teacher but I’ve read more than a few accounts of him just unloading on players and refs and any media members who happen to be around. Hell, in the early 90’s there was a great story about Coach K unleashing a tirade on a reporter from the student newspaper. But the public doesn’t really see that side. They see the calm public persona. Whereas with Knight it was all out in the open.
I think the real difference between Coach K and Knight (and it is why Duke became more successful than Indiana) is the way the two coaches connected with the players. At Duke it is clear that Coach K cares about each player. He might swear at them and work them to death but each guy knows that he has his back. Knight didn’t show that type of emotion. Not that he didn’t feel that way, if you know the story of Landon Turner you know that Knight cared more than almost any coach I have ever seen. But he didn’t make it clear and a player had to be mature enough to understand that connection. And as time went on and players grew less and less accustomed to tough love he began to lose touch with his team.
It’s just not going to be the same without him on the sidelines. But after nine hundred wins maybe it is time to take a little break.
I have strange feelings towards Coach Knight as I tend to defend him more than most people. It’s not that I grew up cheering Indiana but I at least had grudging respect for his program. Isiah Thomas did go to a local high school so as a kid I was happy to see him win a championship at Indiana. Knight was a hard ass with a nasty temper but you knew that he was a good coach. I still remember being in the stands at Illinois-Indiana games and being able to hear Knight’s voice echoing through the arena. That impressed the hell out of me, mainly because I never could tell if Lou Henson was even awake on the sidelines.
(Plus whenever he walked on or off the court you had a feeling that he was going to punch out a band member. That always added to the enjoyment.)
So I never had the hatred towards Knight as I did towards Dean Smith or Roy Williams or that traitor Bill Self or Bruce Pearl, the man personally responsible for having me endure four years of bad basketball at Illinois. Plus, as a Duke fan I was well aware that Coach K played for and coached with Knight. I couldn’t hate Indiana because they played the same type of basketball that I loved at Duke. Motion offense, man to man defense and a tendency to scrap their way to victory.
What I’ve always found interesting is that Knight and Coach K are really the same coach with just a difference in perception. Coach K hides his anger and volatility better. He has an image of being this kind teacher but I’ve read more than a few accounts of him just unloading on players and refs and any media members who happen to be around. Hell, in the early 90’s there was a great story about Coach K unleashing a tirade on a reporter from the student newspaper. But the public doesn’t really see that side. They see the calm public persona. Whereas with Knight it was all out in the open.
I think the real difference between Coach K and Knight (and it is why Duke became more successful than Indiana) is the way the two coaches connected with the players. At Duke it is clear that Coach K cares about each player. He might swear at them and work them to death but each guy knows that he has his back. Knight didn’t show that type of emotion. Not that he didn’t feel that way, if you know the story of Landon Turner you know that Knight cared more than almost any coach I have ever seen. But he didn’t make it clear and a player had to be mature enough to understand that connection. And as time went on and players grew less and less accustomed to tough love he began to lose touch with his team.
It’s just not going to be the same without him on the sidelines. But after nine hundred wins maybe it is time to take a little break.
Sunday, February 03, 2008
Super Blog Three and a Half
4:50 P.M.: And we are coming to you live from the Battling the Current sports headquarters joined by a cast of…yeah, it’s just me again. According to Facebook I have friends so at least I have that going for me.
4:51 P.M.: This is my fourth year of live blogging the Super Bowl. The idea is that I will give my running commentary on the game, the announcers, the commercials and whatever else I find interesting at the time. The fact that I am simultaneously making dinner, doing laundry and building the 2007 concert discs might make this rather interesting.
4:55 P.M.: Apparently Ben Franklin has insights on today’s game. Maybe I’ll make Ben Franklin impersonator my next career. Though anything that gets Jim Brown on television is good for me. And Alan Page as well.
5:04 P.M.: So the pre-game show is followed by the pre-kick show. I assume the pre-coin toss show is next and then the pre-first illegal conduct penalty show.
5:05 P.M.: Just once I would like to hear a player say when asked how he feels before the game “I’m scared to death right now. Honestly, I’m hoping I pull a hamstring on the opening kickoff.”
5:12 P.M.: The Giants take the field to random techno music. I’m not sure if that is the most inspiring thing one can hear as they take the field. I’m not sure anyone gets pumped by Moby. Well, Eli maybe.
5:14 P.M.: I know my friends from Boston will hate me for this but I’m happy that Pats got booed as they took the field. They are cheaters after all. However, props for coming to the field to Crazy Train. We need more Ozzy in our football.
5:21 P.M.: It’s coin toss time. Once again I have twenty bucks riding on heads. No, I don’t have a gambling problem. Why do you ask?
5:26 P.M.: And I just lost twenty bucks. Screw you Ronnie Lott. You can’t toss a coin to save your life. At least I still have my bet that Tom Petty will end the halftime show with Running Down a Dream to make me some serious cash.
5:28 P.M.: Per Troy Aikman, no one forgets the Super Bowl. Except for those who suffer concussions during the game, they tend to forget it. Or the players who get blown out. They’d like to forget it.
5:30 P.M.: I can no longer tell the difference between car commercials and episodes of Mythbusters. We now test cars by having them do everything other than drive down the road unless centrifuges are a lot more common than I thought.
5:37 P.M.: Bud Light makes you breathe fire. That’s pretty close to truth in advertising there. To be honest, they should promote themselves as an almost drinkable beer. I mean, you wouldn’t want to drink it but you can.
5:38 P.M.: Giants have been moving the ball well on the opening drive here. It is strange that the announcers fawn over the fact that Eli can complete a pass. No one gives him any respect. I think they expect him to throw the ball in random directions.
5:43 P.M.: This is one long opening drive. We’re going to have like a five minute block of commercials coming up. Field goal try coming up from former Chief Lawrence Tynes. And it’s good. 3-0 Giants.
5:46 P.M.: Diet Pepsi Max: Because we can’t technically sell Crystal Meth. Seriously, you don’t need that much caffeine. Just get a little more sleep and exercise.
5:49 P.M.: Apparently Under Armor is becoming its own rebellion. That was a rather passionate and frightening commercial. Pats start with the ball at midfield.
5:54 P.M.: Wes Welker gets the first down. I would like to publicly thank Wes Welker for making me a lot of money in fantasy football this year. I spent my entire draft trying to get him in the tenth round and it worked. Didn’t win it all but made a profit at least.
5:58 P.M.: Patriot Pat is a very frightening mascot. Interference call in the end zone so this should be academic from the one. But it will have to wait to the second quarter. A 30 minute first quarter in the Super Bowl. This is going insanely fast. At this pace I won’t have time to watch Puppy Bowl IV at halftime.
6:00 P.M.: Cool, the Terminator finally kicked that Fox robot’s ass. Never knew why we needed a football playing robot anyway.
6:02 P.M.: Maroney punches it in to give the Pats the lead. 7-3 Pats as they were never really threatened with a stop the entire drive.
6:10 P.M.: I know this has nothing to do with the game but I saw a preview for Speed Racer this weekend and I can’t tell if this is going to be horrible or the greatest film of all time. Christina Ricci as Trixie, John Goodman as Pops, insane, off the wall graphics. But they are using a real monkey for Chim Chim and that is the most important thing.
6:14 P.M.: Eli throws a first down ball that gets tipped for an interception. Not really Eli’s fault on that one. Oh, and Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man is all types of awesome. Especially since they are using both the gray and classic red and gold versions of the suit.
6:24 P.M.: For those wondering, no I did not announce that I was leaving my job by having my heart leap out of my chest. I’ve had enough health problems for the month thank you very much. Though the fact that I am apparently seeing lizards dancing to Thriller indicates that I should up my medication.
6:26 P.M.: Hey, Justin Tuck made a tackle! I remember him at Notre Dame. I’m pleased that he’s actually made an NFL career. I’m not sure I expected that. Brady gets sacked as well. Game has slowed down in the second quarter with neither team doing much of anything.
6:40 P.M.: Down to the two minute warning with the Pats having the ball on their own 11. Giants were driving again but screwed it up, forcing me to watch a Justin Timberlake commercial. Bet Brittney is pissed right now. Well I guess that depends on her Depends but you understand.
6:51 P.M.: Brady fumbles at midfield on their last drive of the half. Justin Tuck is playing really strong these last ten minutes. Ten seconds for Eli Manning to try to do something productive. Or take a knee and bring on Tom Petty. 7-3 Pats at half. Bring on the absolutely meaningless halftime show.
7:11 P.M.: I strangely miss the old days of halftime shows that featured Michael Jackson dancing with frightened children. I might win my bet though as Petty just played Running Down a Dream after Free Fallin. There was a lot of money on Free Fallin as the last song but I figured it was too much of a downer. Now just please don’t play Learning to Fly.
7:16 P.M.: Yes! I win my bet. Now on to Puppy Bowl IV.
7:21 P.M.: For those who wonder what in the world Puppy Bowl IV is it is the greatest counter programming tactic ever. Just beating the Playmate Fear Factor that was done in 2002. Basically Animal Planet just shows hours of puppies running around in a makeshift stadium with large plush toys scattered about. It is surprisingly engrossing. Plus, they are just so darn cute. It’s like a sorbet before I start the next course of watching incredibly large men attempt to dismember each other.
8:23 P.M.: Ok, I was called away on a phone call. Did I miss anything? Other than the Giants taking the lead and an awesome commercial featuring Stewie and Underdog fighting for a Coke only to lose to Charlie brown in what has to win the best commercial of the night. Other than that I think I’m up to date.
Sorry about that but I needed to take the call. I’m sure you’ll be able to find witty coverage elsewhere. But it is 10-7 Giants in the fourth quarter as I pick back up with my recap.
8:33 P.M.: Man, Welker is having a huge game. I think he is the only guy who Brady has thrown to. When you have ten guys covering Randy Moss that tends to make the slow white guy open.
8:39 P.M.: Touchdown Randy Moss as the Pats go back on top. Looks like the defender fell down and this means that Eli manning is going to have to lead his team down the field for a game winning touchdown. That’s a tall order.
8:51 P.M.: Wow, that was an awesome play by Manning. He just refused to go down with the sack and just launched it downfield. I’d write more but I’m really enjoying just watching this game.
8:55 P.M.: First down for the Giants at the fifteen. This has been a heck of a game.
8:56 P.M.: Touchdown Giants! Plaxico broke free of the defender and Manning got him the ball with 35 seconds left on the clock. 17-14 Giants and now it is up to Tom Terrific to see how much magic he still has in his lovely manicured hands.
8:59 P.M.: 28 seconds, three timeouts, and really good hair. That’s what Tom Brady has left right now to get the ball in the range for a young kicker to tie the game.
9:00 P.M.: Brady down with a sack. I’d feel bad for Tom but he’s going to see Gisele Budchen at the end of the night and avoid the kid he had with Bridget Moynihan. Can’t really feel sorry for the guy.
9:03 P.M.: Ballgame. Or at least that is what everyone thought except there is still a second left on the clock so let’s let Eli kneel down and end it. Bellicheck has already left the field, which might be the douchebagiest move since the Pistons walked off the court when the Bulls finally beat them. Sorry Rosemary and DJ but I’m happy that the Giants won.
9:06 P.M.: Maybe now everyone will stop making fun of Eli Manning. The guy has been lambasted his entire career, always compared to his dad and his brother, and in the biggest game he stepped up to win.
9:07 P.M.: That’s it for the game. Sorry for the lack of posts in the second half but I was on the phone and it was better for me to talk than write jokes about commercials. Great win for the Giants, great game and a fun night. Now I just have to figure out what I’m going to do with my time now that football season is over. I mean besides trying to find a new job. Anyone have one? I mean I have skills. Mad skills.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) The Subdudes “Annunciation”
2) Tom Petty “Full Moon Fever” (I swear that was a random number selection, not me)
3) The Jayhawks “Blue Earth”
4) Richard Buckner “Bloomed”
5) R.E.M. “Murmur”
4:51 P.M.: This is my fourth year of live blogging the Super Bowl. The idea is that I will give my running commentary on the game, the announcers, the commercials and whatever else I find interesting at the time. The fact that I am simultaneously making dinner, doing laundry and building the 2007 concert discs might make this rather interesting.
4:55 P.M.: Apparently Ben Franklin has insights on today’s game. Maybe I’ll make Ben Franklin impersonator my next career. Though anything that gets Jim Brown on television is good for me. And Alan Page as well.
5:04 P.M.: So the pre-game show is followed by the pre-kick show. I assume the pre-coin toss show is next and then the pre-first illegal conduct penalty show.
5:05 P.M.: Just once I would like to hear a player say when asked how he feels before the game “I’m scared to death right now. Honestly, I’m hoping I pull a hamstring on the opening kickoff.”
5:12 P.M.: The Giants take the field to random techno music. I’m not sure if that is the most inspiring thing one can hear as they take the field. I’m not sure anyone gets pumped by Moby. Well, Eli maybe.
5:14 P.M.: I know my friends from Boston will hate me for this but I’m happy that Pats got booed as they took the field. They are cheaters after all. However, props for coming to the field to Crazy Train. We need more Ozzy in our football.
5:21 P.M.: It’s coin toss time. Once again I have twenty bucks riding on heads. No, I don’t have a gambling problem. Why do you ask?
5:26 P.M.: And I just lost twenty bucks. Screw you Ronnie Lott. You can’t toss a coin to save your life. At least I still have my bet that Tom Petty will end the halftime show with Running Down a Dream to make me some serious cash.
5:28 P.M.: Per Troy Aikman, no one forgets the Super Bowl. Except for those who suffer concussions during the game, they tend to forget it. Or the players who get blown out. They’d like to forget it.
5:30 P.M.: I can no longer tell the difference between car commercials and episodes of Mythbusters. We now test cars by having them do everything other than drive down the road unless centrifuges are a lot more common than I thought.
5:37 P.M.: Bud Light makes you breathe fire. That’s pretty close to truth in advertising there. To be honest, they should promote themselves as an almost drinkable beer. I mean, you wouldn’t want to drink it but you can.
5:38 P.M.: Giants have been moving the ball well on the opening drive here. It is strange that the announcers fawn over the fact that Eli can complete a pass. No one gives him any respect. I think they expect him to throw the ball in random directions.
5:43 P.M.: This is one long opening drive. We’re going to have like a five minute block of commercials coming up. Field goal try coming up from former Chief Lawrence Tynes. And it’s good. 3-0 Giants.
5:46 P.M.: Diet Pepsi Max: Because we can’t technically sell Crystal Meth. Seriously, you don’t need that much caffeine. Just get a little more sleep and exercise.
5:49 P.M.: Apparently Under Armor is becoming its own rebellion. That was a rather passionate and frightening commercial. Pats start with the ball at midfield.
5:54 P.M.: Wes Welker gets the first down. I would like to publicly thank Wes Welker for making me a lot of money in fantasy football this year. I spent my entire draft trying to get him in the tenth round and it worked. Didn’t win it all but made a profit at least.
5:58 P.M.: Patriot Pat is a very frightening mascot. Interference call in the end zone so this should be academic from the one. But it will have to wait to the second quarter. A 30 minute first quarter in the Super Bowl. This is going insanely fast. At this pace I won’t have time to watch Puppy Bowl IV at halftime.
6:00 P.M.: Cool, the Terminator finally kicked that Fox robot’s ass. Never knew why we needed a football playing robot anyway.
6:02 P.M.: Maroney punches it in to give the Pats the lead. 7-3 Pats as they were never really threatened with a stop the entire drive.
6:10 P.M.: I know this has nothing to do with the game but I saw a preview for Speed Racer this weekend and I can’t tell if this is going to be horrible or the greatest film of all time. Christina Ricci as Trixie, John Goodman as Pops, insane, off the wall graphics. But they are using a real monkey for Chim Chim and that is the most important thing.
6:14 P.M.: Eli throws a first down ball that gets tipped for an interception. Not really Eli’s fault on that one. Oh, and Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man is all types of awesome. Especially since they are using both the gray and classic red and gold versions of the suit.
6:24 P.M.: For those wondering, no I did not announce that I was leaving my job by having my heart leap out of my chest. I’ve had enough health problems for the month thank you very much. Though the fact that I am apparently seeing lizards dancing to Thriller indicates that I should up my medication.
6:26 P.M.: Hey, Justin Tuck made a tackle! I remember him at Notre Dame. I’m pleased that he’s actually made an NFL career. I’m not sure I expected that. Brady gets sacked as well. Game has slowed down in the second quarter with neither team doing much of anything.
6:40 P.M.: Down to the two minute warning with the Pats having the ball on their own 11. Giants were driving again but screwed it up, forcing me to watch a Justin Timberlake commercial. Bet Brittney is pissed right now. Well I guess that depends on her Depends but you understand.
6:51 P.M.: Brady fumbles at midfield on their last drive of the half. Justin Tuck is playing really strong these last ten minutes. Ten seconds for Eli Manning to try to do something productive. Or take a knee and bring on Tom Petty. 7-3 Pats at half. Bring on the absolutely meaningless halftime show.
7:11 P.M.: I strangely miss the old days of halftime shows that featured Michael Jackson dancing with frightened children. I might win my bet though as Petty just played Running Down a Dream after Free Fallin. There was a lot of money on Free Fallin as the last song but I figured it was too much of a downer. Now just please don’t play Learning to Fly.
7:16 P.M.: Yes! I win my bet. Now on to Puppy Bowl IV.
7:21 P.M.: For those who wonder what in the world Puppy Bowl IV is it is the greatest counter programming tactic ever. Just beating the Playmate Fear Factor that was done in 2002. Basically Animal Planet just shows hours of puppies running around in a makeshift stadium with large plush toys scattered about. It is surprisingly engrossing. Plus, they are just so darn cute. It’s like a sorbet before I start the next course of watching incredibly large men attempt to dismember each other.
8:23 P.M.: Ok, I was called away on a phone call. Did I miss anything? Other than the Giants taking the lead and an awesome commercial featuring Stewie and Underdog fighting for a Coke only to lose to Charlie brown in what has to win the best commercial of the night. Other than that I think I’m up to date.
Sorry about that but I needed to take the call. I’m sure you’ll be able to find witty coverage elsewhere. But it is 10-7 Giants in the fourth quarter as I pick back up with my recap.
8:33 P.M.: Man, Welker is having a huge game. I think he is the only guy who Brady has thrown to. When you have ten guys covering Randy Moss that tends to make the slow white guy open.
8:39 P.M.: Touchdown Randy Moss as the Pats go back on top. Looks like the defender fell down and this means that Eli manning is going to have to lead his team down the field for a game winning touchdown. That’s a tall order.
8:51 P.M.: Wow, that was an awesome play by Manning. He just refused to go down with the sack and just launched it downfield. I’d write more but I’m really enjoying just watching this game.
8:55 P.M.: First down for the Giants at the fifteen. This has been a heck of a game.
8:56 P.M.: Touchdown Giants! Plaxico broke free of the defender and Manning got him the ball with 35 seconds left on the clock. 17-14 Giants and now it is up to Tom Terrific to see how much magic he still has in his lovely manicured hands.
8:59 P.M.: 28 seconds, three timeouts, and really good hair. That’s what Tom Brady has left right now to get the ball in the range for a young kicker to tie the game.
9:00 P.M.: Brady down with a sack. I’d feel bad for Tom but he’s going to see Gisele Budchen at the end of the night and avoid the kid he had with Bridget Moynihan. Can’t really feel sorry for the guy.
9:03 P.M.: Ballgame. Or at least that is what everyone thought except there is still a second left on the clock so let’s let Eli kneel down and end it. Bellicheck has already left the field, which might be the douchebagiest move since the Pistons walked off the court when the Bulls finally beat them. Sorry Rosemary and DJ but I’m happy that the Giants won.
9:06 P.M.: Maybe now everyone will stop making fun of Eli Manning. The guy has been lambasted his entire career, always compared to his dad and his brother, and in the biggest game he stepped up to win.
9:07 P.M.: That’s it for the game. Sorry for the lack of posts in the second half but I was on the phone and it was better for me to talk than write jokes about commercials. Great win for the Giants, great game and a fun night. Now I just have to figure out what I’m going to do with my time now that football season is over. I mean besides trying to find a new job. Anyone have one? I mean I have skills. Mad skills.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) The Subdudes “Annunciation”
2) Tom Petty “Full Moon Fever” (I swear that was a random number selection, not me)
3) The Jayhawks “Blue Earth”
4) Richard Buckner “Bloomed”
5) R.E.M. “Murmur”
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