Corey and Lindsay: Parallel Lives

For the commenter on last night’s post: I do agree with the fact that it is definitely possible to parse out a generation between Gen X and the Boomers. Generations are vague things and while I typically stick with the Strauss and Howe definitions (in which case I should be using 13th Gen as the official distinction) but I can see the point. In reality, as someone born in 1973 I consider myself to be the heart of Gen X as I was 18 when Nevermind was released. Cobain was 24 at the time while Molly Ringwald and Anthony Michael Hall were 23. I think that all puts us in the Gen X category. But you’re right, St. Elmo’s Fire is not a Gen X film while The Breakfast Club most certainly is even if they may star the same actors.

Interesting timing that I wrote about Gen X last night while this morning we lost one of the Coreys. Yes, Corey Haim passed away this morning and as someone elegantly put it, he now has a license to drive in heaven. Corey Haim was an interesting celebrity as he was one of the first people to be famous because he was famous more than anything else. True, he starred in Lucas and The Lost Boys but that really isn’t enough of a resume to warrant such attention years after his biggest bouts of fame. He is remembered more for being a party boy and dealing with drug addictions than anything else. It is a strange legacy.

Speaking of people with strange legacies that will be forever linked with substance abuse My Beloved Lindsay is back in the news with possibly the worst lawsuit ever. It is one of those things that you have to read to believe. She is suing eTrade over my new favorite commercial in which one of the talking babies asks about “that milkaholic Lindsay.” Apparently, in My Beloved Lindsay’s mind this constitutes defamation of character, infringement on her good name and is worth $100 million in damages. Let’s examine this one, shall we?

First of all, the ad utilizes talking babies. It is highly likely that at this point Lindsay believes that babies can talk and that they are reading from a script. In fact, some of her comments seem to imply this as she talks about how horrible it is to have one year olds act out these scenes. I don’t believe that one year olds act per se. More like they exist. They don’t trade stocks either but that is an argument for another day.

Her big argument is that her first name is synonymous with her in the same way as Madonna and Oprah. Two huge flaws in that argument as a) she isn’t as famous as either of those two and b) her name isn’t as unique. I’ve never met an Oprah in my life though I have met a Madonna (she went by Donna). I’ve met several Lindsays and even in the past few weeks the news has been filled with stories about Lindsay Vonn. It’s tough to claim that your good name is being sullied when it isn’t even a direct reference to your name and being called a milkaholic really isn’t that bad of a thing.

The worst part of all is this is the claim for $100 million dollars as this commercial has ruined her good name and has caused untold pain and suffering. Now as someone who still has a lawsuit pending against the creators of “Everybody Hates Chris” I understand her point but come on, her name isn’t worth that much. Lindsay Lohan has no career at this point. She’s not even worth Playboy paying money for a pictorial. No one would hire her as an actress, she looks horrible and randomly suing large corporations isn’t a strong sign of mental stability. I’m wondering who the hell her lawyer is because I wouldn’t want my name associated with this lawsuit.

At one point in time Lindsay was a talented actress with huge potential. People said the same thing about Corey Haim at one point. Sadly, I feel that both stories will end up in the same place.