Monday Weigh In: As my weight loss plans have been scrapped on numerous occasions I have been really struggling to figure out how to start a fitness regimen and stick to it. I have finally concluded that public humiliation is the way to go. As I cannot appear on The Biggest Loser (even though the idea of intentionally getting fat just to appear on the show is tempting) I’ve decided to avoid posting pictures of myself shirtless and will instead post my weight on a weekly basis. We start off the process with my weighing in at 208.5 pounds on my 6 foot 1 frame. Medically speaking, this makes me “chubby.” Watch over the weeks as I intend to progress to “husky” to “average” to “wait a minute, you actually have abs?”
Over the past few days I have seen interesting things written on the back windshield of cars. You know what I am talking about; typically it is someone championing some high school sports team or referencing a trip of some sort. Well, the two that I saw were both high school related but I have to admit I have never seen anything like it before in my life.
The first one read simply “Will you go to prom with me?” There are a couple of different ways to interpret this. On one hand, maybe it was a young suitor who decided to ask a girl to prom by writing it on her rear window. This might be considered sweet and romantic and probably more considerate than my “Have my English teacher pull the girl out of class so I could ask her to prom” approach. On the other hand though, maybe this person is so desperate to find someone to go to prom with that they are openly advertising their availability. They have created their own moving billboard and have established a great deal of viral buzz around their prom status. Sure you’ll probably have to field inquiries from strangers but it’s probably more effective than posting on Craigslist.
The other one I saw on a mini-van on my way to work this morning. It read “I’m legal.” I’m trying to figure out a good connotation for this or at least one in which it is valid to put this on your mom’s mini-van and I am coming up a complete blank. I take it to mean that the driver is 18 and even though I didn’t see who was driving I just immediately assumed that it was a female. I don’t know why other than a) guys tend not to write messages on the back of windshields and b) I’m not sure any guy would celebrate turning 18 by saying “I’m legal.” (Ok, they could be turning 21 in which case it is just a way of saying, “Yes officer, please pull me over.”) If anyone has any ideas on how to better interpret this one please let me know.
Finally, did anyone catch the new Vitamin Water commercials over the weekend? I love the fact that they are now actively promoting themselves to the hangover demographic. It is a vital portion of the marketplace, those of us who find ourselves slightly overserved to the point where we spend the next day sleeping on the couch listening to NASCAR on rain delay. It’s nice to know that when you wake up the next morning with no clue where your pants are that Vitamin Water is there for you.
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