I was a teenage werewolf

So I watched New Moon over the weekend. Yes, I admit that I watched a movie featuring teenage vampires. At least now I am back on the same playing field as the rest of pop culture. Anyway, I had a few thoughts on the film and the phenomenon in general.

1) As someone who hasn’t seen the first film nor read any of the books I was stunned by the fact that there was no introduction or prologue at all. We are just dropped into the movie with no explanation as to who anyone is or why we should care. Now I was able to get the gist of things pretty quickly given that I do pay attention to pop culture and stuff but I found it pretty stunning. It was the first time I really found myself wanting one of those Star Wars opening crawls.

2) The female lead is given a camera by her dad to take pictures of all her friends who just happen to be vampires. Except that vampires don’t appear on film. But since digital cameras are not film that seems to not be a problem.

3) Mirrors aren’t an issue either. And don’t get me started about how they can go out in daylight. It pisses me off just thinking about it. Bela Lugosi would be spinning in his grave if he wasn’t buried at the crossroads with a stake through his heart.

4) Even if I grant the ability for people to randomly change into wolves without requiring a full moon can someone please tell me why none of the werewolves are ever wearing shirts? And don’t tell me that it is because when they change into wolf form their shirts would rip Hulk style. If that was the case why the hell are they all wearing pants?

5) So let me get this love triangle story straight. Bella loves Edward. Edward decides after dating Bella for a while that it is too dangerous for them to be together so he dumps her in the middle of a forest where she nearly dies. He then disappears without a trace. Jacob comes in and takes care of Bella, brings her back to the real world, shows her love and respect and saves her life. However, by saving her life Edward somehow thinks that Bella is dead and goes off to kill himself causing Bella to go running back to save Edward and be with her love, completely forgetting about Jacob in the process. No wonder Jacob is pissed off. I’d be mauling random hikers too if I was him.

6) Even with these critiques I have to say that I kind of liked the film. I’m not the target audience of course but the film held its own for the most part. The love triangle and an impending war between werewolves and vampires makes for a great premise and leaves plenty of opportunities. Yes, the story is overly romantic but that is the entire genre. Given that I went into watching it with pretty low expectations I have to say that I was quite impressed at the end.