5:40 P.M.: And we are coming to you live from Battling the Current sports headquarters for Super Blog V! I am joined by…by…Roomberto the cleaning robot. Note to self: when adjusting the settings on household robots do not tweak the A.I. to the point where it becomes self-aware.
5:43 P.M.: Yes, it is the return of the live blog. I’ll be watching the game (alone but screw it, I had a great weekend already and nothing is going to change that) and giving my commentary on the game, the commercials and whatever else is on my mind.
5:45 P.M.: For those wondering my views and cheering interest on this game. I would really like to pull for the Cardinals due to a love for the underdog and the Chicago connection but the Steelers are a more local team, a strong franchise and I’ve, uh, been threatened by a number of Steelers fans regarding my loyalty. So go Pittsburgh but put up a good fight Arizona.
5:50 P.M.: To show how awesome my Super Bowl party is I am simultaneously doing laundry. Whee!
5:53 P.M.: For those of you not interested in watching the game I present the following alternatives. A) The Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet. I’ll talk about this more as I can guarantee that I will be flipping to it at some point tonight. B) To Catch a Predator marathon on MSNBC. In case you want to watch guys explain to Chris Hansen why they brought wine coolers to a 13 year olds house.
5:55 P.M.: Matt Millen picks the Cardinals. Matt Freaking Millen is allowed to be an analyst? The guy who completely destroyed the Lions franchise to the point that they did not win a single game this season? The one that resulted in having fans leading protest marches in Detroit? Not only am I now certain that the Steelers will win the game but I am very confident that Kurt Warner will be the first quarterback to spontaneously combust during the game.
5:59 P.M.: The Pennsylvania Lottery uses a very disturbing groundhog puppet as its spokesman. I can never tell if the commercials are wanting me to buy scratch off tickets or inform me that this rodent will chew out my eyeballs if I’m not careful.
6:00 P.M.: Faith Hill! Music for people who enjoy Wonder Bread.
6:09 P.M.: Taking the field to vaguely techno music are your Pittsburgh Steelers! Because when I think of steel mills I immediately think of flashing strobe lights and pounding bass. The Arizona Cardinals come out to a death metal theme. Have to give the advantages to the Cardinals on that one. It looks like we have eschewed the player introductions, which is sad because it is the only time when we actually care about where the left guard went to college.
6:14 P.M.: Correction: Walter Payton is the greatest running back in NFL history. There are no qualifiers needed. Kurt Warner starts the evening by winning a trophy, the NFL Man of the Year, and we get the first shot of his wife Brenda who no longer looks like a living troll doll like she did during the Ram years.
6:16 P.M.: The U.S. Airways crew gets to go to the game. Actually, I have no snark at all for that honor.
6:20 P.M.: Curious as to where this orchestra is hiding during the national anthem. I mean, I wouldn’t want to suggest that all of this was prerecorded several months ago.
6:22 P.M.: Ok, as someone who watched G.I. Joe every day after school I do not recall the Baroness ever looking that hot. Any film that features Snake Eyes has earned my respect.
6:25 P.M.: Time for the coin toss. I have money on heads. I’m not kidding about this. I actually have a bet with someone at work on the coin toss. This may indicate some sort of problem on my end.
6:26 P.M.: Always great that we have the entire country focused on what exactly is heads and what is tails. General Petraeus with the honors and…it is heads! Boo yah! Shoe money tonight!
6:29 P.M.: Seriously, General Petraeus has nothing better to do than toss a coin in the air? You’d think he would have a few more items on his to do list. And did we just have a sideline reporter quote F. Scott Fitzgerald? Wow, don’t see that every day.
6:32 P.M.: My fellow Illini Neil Rackers with the kick and the game is underway. Rackers even gets the tackle.
6:33 P.M.: Big gain by Hines Ward on a really well designed bootleg. One of those plays where the defense goes “Aw Christ” halfway through it. Followed by a nice gain by Willie Parker.
6:38 P.M.: Roethlisberger bootlegs it into the end zone for a touchdown. Or does he? The challenge flag is out as we go to the first commercial. Wow, what office has beer at the meetings in this economy. Followed by another film featuring Tom Hanks and bad hair.
6:42 P.M.: Ooh, huge call as the touchdown is reversed and the Steelers are forced to bring out everyone’s favorite stoner kicker: Jeff Reed. And Jeff knocks it through to give the Steelers a 3-0 lead.
6:44 P.M.: Bob Dylan for Pepsi. Sigh. I just died a little inside. Though Doritos did give us snowglobe to the groin. That was nice.
6:48 P.M.: Notre Dame alum Mike Gandy gets the first penalty of the night. Thanks Mike, way to do the University proud.
6:52 P.M.: Another Jack Black movie? Really? Do we have to go?
6:53 P.M.: After a nothing drive by the Cardinals the Steelers start out with a big play. This game has “watching the Puppy Bowl in the third quarter” written all over it.
7:01 P.M.: End of the first quarter as it has been all Steelers though they only lead 3-0. Second and goal when we start the second quarter. And I really want to meet who is clamoring for a new Fast and the Furious movie. Other than Vin Diesel, who could probably use the work.
7:08 P.M.: Touchdown Steelers! That is two straight drives down the field for Pittsburgh. Oh, and Pepsi has made a Diet Pepsi for men, which is promoted by showing just how stupid men are. I’m trying to get my head around this whole “Diet drink isn’t manly” concept. Ok, I can understand why a guy might not want to be seen relaxing with a refreshing Tab but I never realized that my typical diet soda isn’t extreme enough.
7:13 P.M.: I am intrigued by the new Star Trek movie. I’m not sure if I am in sci-fi geek freak out mode yet but I am very curious as to how it will turn out. Still, I would prefer it if every add focused on Simon Pegg as Scotty.
7:18 P.M.: Cardinals actually responding with a drive. Otherwise this could turn into a very boring game very quickly, especially given that it appears impossible for the Cardinals to run the ball. And just as I type it Arizona gets a holding penalty.
7:20 P.M.: Warner gets a ton of time and hits Anquan Boldin who gets down to the two. How the hell do you let him get so open. And then a stumbling and bumbling Warner tosses a prayer to the tight end for a touchdown. Rackers with the extra point and it is now 10-7 Steelers. We have a game of it.
7:23 P.M.: I actually liked that Cars.com commercial. Low-key, interesting and memorable. I’m not sure if subtlety is your best bet during the Super Bowl but I appreciate it. Plus, no reason to apply to Princeton unless it is for dean.
7:28 P.M.: Arizona’s defensive coordinator is named Clancy. That must make it really difficult to earn the player’s respect. “Ok everyone. Let’s all be quiet so Clancy can speak.”
7:31 P.M.: After an Arizona defensive stand Steve Breaston, a former Wolverine, breaks out a huge return. Like everyone else who grew up in the mid 80’s I can only respond, “Wolverines!”
7:41 P.M.: Arizona went nowhere but then tipped a Roethlisberger pass and get the first turnover of the day as we hit the two minute warning. And I have now been warned to not send flowers in a box or declare my desire to see a coworker naked. Good advice, now that you think about it.
7:52 P.M.: And in what will go down as the biggest play of the game: Arizona had the ball with goal to go on the two with 18 seconds left and Warner throws a pick and James Harrison runs it back 100 yards for a touchdown as time expires. So we went from possibly 14-10 Cardinals to 17-7 Steelers except now the play is being reviewed. It stands so that is just a momentum killer for the Cardinals going into the half. Now they have to sit in a room and think about this while Bruce Springsteen has a concert.
7:58 P.M.: Monsters vs. Aliens will probably be my second favorite versus movie after the classic: Kramer vs. Predator.
8:19 P.M.: As is tradition, I call my parents at halftime so I can avoid watching the halftime show. However, I did have it on mute so I did at least get to see Bruce go sliding into the cameraman. That was worth it.
8:37 P.M.: I’m confused. So an advertisement that features people driving on the moon (to House of Pain’s “Jump Around” no less0 has a notification on it stating “Professional driver on a closed course.” Does this mean that they actually flew to the moon to film this commercial? Or am I being warned to not build my own rocket and lunar excursion vehicle, fly to the moon and then drive recklessly?
8:39 P.M.: Arizona has the ball for the first drive but it just kind of goes nowhere and they punt it away. They needed to have something happen on that drive because if Pittsburgh puts together a big drive here the game is over.
8:43 P.M.: The Rock continues his solid acting career in Race to Witch Mountain. Again, there is a lot less snark in that comment than you would expect. He is really the only person I have ever seen transition from a wrestling career to a successful acting career. Hell, he is one of a handful of people who has been able to leave wrestling on his own terms and never have to look back.
8:48 P.M.: I have to mention that a few years ago that the Cardinals changed their helmets in order to give the Cardinal a bit more of a nasty smirk to it. It’s tough to try to portray a tough football attitude when your mascot is a small, rather adorable, bird. For reference my high school’s nickname was the Roadrunners. Again, it is tough to promote that macho image when your mascot is best known for running away from danger.
8:53 P.M.: Jeff Reed, who you know owns a van with a picture of the universe spray painted over it, hits the field goal to make it 20-7. But wait! Arizona roughed the holder and pretty much gave him the business thus making it first and goal for the Steelers. Add to the list of dumb penalties by the Cardinals tonight.
8:57 P.M.: Second verse, same as the first. Reed kicks a field goal to make it 20-7.
8:59 P.M.: You know, after that last commercial I begin to realize why Career Builder was slightly less than effective in my job search. Though using their site did make me want to punch a koala.
9:02 P.M.: Here is my favorite story from the entire playoffs. Kurt Warner was asked by a fan to draw a picture of God. What Kurt drew was what appeared to be a combination of Jesus and the character Duke from G.I. Joe. I don’t know the meaning of that fact but I just find it cool.
9:05 P.M.: We are through three quarters with the score Steelers 20 Cardinals 7. Not the greatest game of all time but it certainly has been interesting.
9:09 P.M.: Gandy again with the hold. Jeez, Notre Dame is even having a bad season in the Super Bowl.
9:20 P.M.: Despite the fact that cash4gold is apparently pretty much a scam I have to admit that having MC Hammer selling a gold medallion of MC Hammer wearing a gold medallion is a rather brilliant idea.
9:24 P.M.: While I thought the commercial with the electric scarecrow was good I have an issue with this whole “smart grid” concept. Understand that I’ve spent the majority of my adult life studying, designing and operating electrical grids. I still don’t quite understand what they mean by a smart grid. Everything follows the laws of physics. Not much intelligence to it.
9:26 P.M.: Larry Fitzgerald, who should be your favorite football player, catches a touchdown pass to make it 20-14 Steelers. Boy, that last second interception return is huge right now. Still, we have a game of it in the fourth quarter, which is more than most people expected.
9:32 P.M.: Good defensive stand by the Cardinals and Warner will have the ball, down six, with five and a half minutes to go. This is what they call crunch time.
9:35 P.M.: We have a Richard Dean Anderson sighting! What else could make this night better?
9:40 P.M.: Cardinals drive gets going but Gandy gets another hold call resulting in an Arizona punt. Steelers then get a roughing call but now the Steelers start on their own one. Three and a half left in the game.
9:44 P.M.: Steelers seem to make a miraculous escape from the end zone we get a holding call in the end zone resulting in a safety. 20-16 Steelers with a free kick coming up with just under three minutes to play. This one is going down to the end.
9:48 P.M.: Oh my freaking God! Fitzgerald just got wide open in the middle of the field and just outran everyone on the field. He could have gone for three hundred yards on that play. And for the first time all night the Cardinals lead the game 23 -20. You’ve read that correct folks: with just over two minutes to go in the Super Bowl that Arizona Cardinals are in the lead. Maybe it is prophetic that Cuba Gooding Jr. is in attendance.
9:57 P.M.: And with under a minute to play Santonio Holmes breaks open and brings it within the ten. This is getting rather insane.
10:01 P.M.: In just an amazing catch, Santonio Holmes does a tiptoe catch in the endzone for a touchdown. Watching it live I thought that there was no way he stayed in bounds but on replay it certainly looks like he did. Just freaking incredible. Now 27-23 Steelers and the Cardinals have thirty seconds and two timeouts to pull out the third miracle drive in a row.
10:09 P.M.: Is the game over? Did Warner fumble the ball? It’s time to go to the replay booth. If not there is one play left. Yes, it is a fumble! Steelers win the Super Bowl 27 – 23. That game was a thousand times better than it had any right being.
Thanks for joining me, congrats to all the Steeler fans and I’ll be back to normal operations tomorrow.
Best of 120 Minutes: One of the best lines anyone said to me “All I could do is leave you in Misouri”. Makes this Soul Asylum song take on a totally different meaning.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Drive-By Truckers “Brighter Than Creation’s Dark”
2) Rhett Miller “The Instigator”
3) Lyle Lovett and his Large Band “It’s Not Big, It’s Large”
4) Po’ Girl “Vagabond Lullabyes”
5) Sarah McLachlan “Rarities, B-Sides and Other Stuff”
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