I guess that is why he called the album Heartbreaker

Ryan Adams just got engaged to Mandy Moore. I was going to try to think of a clever opening but I decided that there was nothing that I could write that could compare to that simple sentence. Ryan Adams, a man who in the past has dated Beth Orton and Parker Posey (two of the women who made my Perfect Mate list because I would marry them in an instant), has decided that the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with is Mandy Moore. Now I know Ryan has this penchant of being a self-destructive artist but I feel that this is taking it one step too far. If given a choice between a stint in rehab and marrying Mandy Moore I clearly consider rehab to be the better career choice.

Plus, what type of guy gets engaged a few days before Valentine’s Day? If you are not going to pop the question at Christmas you might as well just wait until the big day so it will be both commercial and romantic. I have a feeling that Ryan popped the question sometime during the third quarter of the Super Bowl. The game began to get a little boring and his attention started to wander so he decided to ask Mandy to marry him.

(The best engagement story I know is two friends of mine who got engaged on Leap Day last year. It was brilliant because a) they would never forget the date and b) the guy would only be responsible for buying a present once every four years.)

Also, I know that many people have been awaiting my annual Valentine’s Day rant this year. Especially this year given that the big day falls on a Saturday as that means I cannot even perform my favorite weekend activity of becoming the face at the end of the bar as I would be surrounded by happy couples celebrating the night out. So I know that people have been waiting for my schedule of Smiths CDs that I would be listening to over the course of the night as I sit in my darkened apartment. Or maybe I would reinitiate my offer from last year of taking one lucky woman to dinner at Outback Steakhouse where she would be granted one (1) 25 dollar gift card to go towards the cost of her meal and drinks (any expenses over twenty five dollars to be paid for by said woman, offer not valid if used to purchase Outback Steakhouse t-shirts or souvenir boomerangs). I mean, it is tradition, right?

Well I can’t complain this year because I, uh, have plans for Saturday. Look I am as confused as you are. I’ve spent my entire life being cynical at this time of year and now I can’t and it kind of frightens me. How do people live like this? I mean, smiling takes a hell of a lot more effort than I imagined. And what about having to like things? That can’t be natural, can it?

As always, I have no idea what is going to happen next with my life. But I’ll say this, if you just open yourself to life some amazing things can happen.