Just my luck, as soon as I post my analysis of Mickey Rourke’s appearance at Wrestlemania he decides to chicken out. So I feel that there is only one recourse in this situation. I, the legendary Cajun Assassin, will come out of retirement to challenge Mickey Rourke any place, any time, any style of match. If he wants a scientific wrestling match I’ll take him down with my patented Cajun Crab. If he wants to make it extreme I’ll take him on in an electrified barbed wire deathmatch. No matter what he decides I’ll make sure he feels the pain that he has inflicted on the wrestling fanbase.
(Some people might laugh at that paragraph. Others will recall that I have a wrestling mask in my office and wonder if I might not be kidding around.)
Ok, it’s late and I’m tired and I am just going to list a few strange things about this part of the country that I have noticed over the past few months. Just a sample of the apparent Bizarro World that I find myself in.
· Within a half mile of my apartment is a “Kennedy Fried Chicken” and a “New York Fried Chicken”. I never thought that any restaurant would scare me more than a KenTacoHut. I was wrong.
· There is an establishment near where I live called “The Bar”. In a way, that seems to be the exact type of place I would find myself drinking. If you are too lazy to name the place I’ll probably fit right in.
· No one in this town knows how to drive. Seriously, I thought the drivers in Kansas were the worst but I was mistaken. Sure, you would occasionally find yourself stuck behind the Joad family on K-10 but they would at least drive. Today I was stuck on a two lane road behind a driver who apparently accelerated and braked at the same time. I’ve never seen a car leave a stop light and not have the brake lights go off before. Drove me insane.
· Apparently an inch of snow is a winter weather emergency that results in school being cancelled. This wouldn’t even be an emergency in Kansas (where they once dismissed everyone from work and I didn’t even notice that it was snowing). But any thought of snow turns this area into a 70’s disaster flick.
· Way too many DJs at the bars. I have no problem with dance clubs as some people enjoy them. I however would rather listen to people play their own music instead of just borrowing someone else’s. The problem is I just have been unable to find a good bar with cool bartenders, an interesting clientele, and a properly stocked jukebox. It shouldn’t be that difficult.
Coming on Sunday: The Return of the Super Blog. Yes, the live blog returns in its traditional form. Who will win the big game? Will Bud Light cover the spread in the Bud Bowl? Will the fifty bucks I put on heads pay off this year. Join me and find out.
No comments:
Post a Comment