Thursday, February 26, 2009

Bring me back Mr. Wizard!

I haven’t done one of these for a while. Let’s fire up the wayback machine and see what the Top Ten songs were this week in 1994. For referenceAfter going through this list you will see why claims that the music industry has gone totally downhill might not be a correct statement.

#10: Mariah Carey “Hero”: I can’t recall this song offhand. I’m going to assume that in it Mariah decides to have her voice do a three octave range on a single word even though it adds absolutely nothing to the song. Do you realize that we have Mariah to blame for the way every American Idol contestant sings? Where it is entirely about the singer’s range and absolutely nothing about the song? What a legacy to have.

#9: US 3 “Cantaloop (Flip Fantasia)”: Ok, I totally dug this song. In fact, I was always amazed that you never heard anything from these guys again. This was a blend of hip hop and jazz and it worked extremely well. Plus, it had this awesome video that made the band look like the coolest guys in the world. I’m happy to see this song made the top ten.

#8: Richard Marx “Now and Forever”: Because power ballads will always chart from now until the end of time. Especially when it gets close to prom season. Fun story, I lived in a dorm with a guy who looked exactly like Richard Marx. Not kind of like him, a complete mirror image except for the fact that he had a southern accent. Do you know how hysterical it is to have dinner every night with a Richard Marx impersonator who speaks in a drawl and does nothing other than ramble on about the Dallas Cowboys? It made life so much more interesting.

#7: All-4-One “So Much in Love”: I have no memory of this song whatsoever. None. I mean, I drank a lot in college and the band name is vaguely familiar but I couldn’t place this song in a million years. Oh well. I’m sure they meant well.

#6: Bryan Adams, Rod Stewart and Sting “All for Love”: This song is from the soundtrack to “The Three Musketeers”, a film I would make fun of except that Julie Delpy was the romantic lead in it and I can say nothing bad about anything associated with Julie on the belief that she may one day read this website. This song was the follow up to Bryan Adams song in the Robin Hood soundtrack. Since that was a big hit they decided to add in Rod Stewart and Sting to create a supergroup of slightly annoying blonde vocalists (ok, I like Sting but the other two outweigh his good qualities). If you went to a wedding in 1994 there is a high likelihood that you heard this song and then had dreams of cutting Rod Stewart’s throat with a broken beer bottle.

#5: Toni Braxton “Breathe Again”: Music for people who want a more soulful Mariah Carey or a less relying on duets with her late father Natalie Cole. I’d say more about her work but to be honest the female R&B scene was never something that I was ever really interested in. It has always sold an immense number of records but the entire genre just does nothing to me. It needs more guitars.

#4: Mariah Carey “Without You / Never Forget You”: Another Mariah Carey song? I remember her being big when I was in college but I didn’t think she was this popular? That said, she is another performer whose popularity has always baffled me. Though I still remember her incredible performance in the film “Glitter”.

#3: Salt-N-Pepa featuring En Vogue “Whatta Man”: Another good song on the list. This was a fun mix of hip hop and R&B that also turned out to be the high point for both groups. Ever notice how some acts have a big hit and then fall off the face of the earth? I’m not talking about a one hit wonder where the follow up fails. I mean does anyone know if Salt-N-Pepa even released another album after this one? Did the loss of Spinderella destroy the group?

#2: Ace of Base “The Sign”: Sigh. For all of my claims that the music scene while I was in college was the best ever I still have to deal with the fact that songs like this were at the top of the charts. And here is a horrible secret of mine that no one knows. Some people have probably guessed that whenever I take a test I typically have a musical soundtrack running through my head. I always study to music and I just keep the songs playing in my mind when I take the test. Well, whenever I sat in room 151 of Everitt Lab to take a EE test I always sang Ace of base songs to myself. I have no idea why. It probably explains my grades, though.

#1: Celine Dion “The Power of Love”: It’s a pre-Titanic Celine. Meaning that we didn’t all hate her with a passion yet. We soon would, of course. Here is my favorite Celine story. For her show in Vegas when she sang her big hit from Titanic the stage would transform into the bow of a ship and she would stand on the edge. Couples in the crowd would then, and I am not making this up, stand on their seats and reenact the scene from Titanic. And a sight like that makes my cynical heart….grow a lot more cynical.

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