Help me J-Dog. You're my only hope.

Ok, I have a lot of small topics to talk about tonight so I am just going to go through them in order.

1) Yes, I am aware that I missed the season premiere of the second season of The Pick Up Artist on Sunday. However, have no fear as I have recorded the episode and will be providing my play by play analysis on this and all future episodes. Because if there is one thing I have learned in my life it is that the only way to learn how to talk to women is by taking advice from a guy in a top hat with a pair of lips tattooed to his neck. Hell, I own his instruction manual. I wish I was lying but I actually do own The Mystery Method in hardcover no less.

2) Oh, I would like to thank Comcast for allowing me to miss the premiere episode by showing for the past two weeks that all channels have “To Be Announced” as their scheduled broadcast on the online program guide. Seriously, I was nearly forced to buy a newspaper on Sunday just so I could get a damn TV listing. What type of world do we live in where I might be forced to buy something in order to read?

3) Has anyone noticed that on the Yahoo front page they list the Obama-McCain poll numbers and are constantly updating them? Several times a day they show them going up or down 0.2%. I’m not sure where the hell they are getting their data from as the last time I checked it wasn’t as though there is a real time polling market equivalent to the stock market. Plus, I’m not sure if I need a moment by moment update of something that is by definition within the margin of error. Of course, most people will simply ask why am I using Yahoo but that can easily be explained by the fact that I am an idiot.

4) For the first time since moving out here I played trivia tonight. I wish I continued my streak of winning money the first time I play in a new venue but I missed a few questions and came in sixth. Still, not bad for a team of one and I should have won a free round of drinks but I was really, really dumb on a question. The game is done in a pub quiz style and that really doesn’t suit my temperament. You are asked ten questions, write down your answers, and then wait around for ten or fifteen minutes as the host collects the sheets, marks the correct answers, tallies up the scores, and jokes with the teams. Do this for multiple rounds and there is an awful lot of dead time especially when you are by yourself. Sigh. I miss my Badgers. We at least would have gotten the Wisconsin question right.

5) Best category though: All you get is someone’s name and have to determine whether they are a Nobel Prize winner or a Porn Star. Surprisingly challenging.

6) I’m still behind in watching How I Met Your Mother but after finally seeing last week’s episode it is clear that they are dealing with too much plot. We have Robin’s career and her possibly moving to Japan. Then there is Barney being in love with Robin and therefore not being Barney. Marshall has gone from a fun loving student to a kind of whiny, unmotivated goof. And Ted is engaged to someone that the viewer has no attachment to at all. I don’t care about Stella. I care about Sarah Chalke because she is an awesome actress based on her roles in Roseanne and Scrubs but the character is absolutely meaningless. Compare that to Victoria from the first season. Ted and Victoria are possibly my favorite couple ever, the “thank God” moment at the end of their first episode together is the highlight of the entire series, and even three years after the fact I say this about someone who was only in four episode. Meanwhile, we have Ted getting married to someone whose daughter might not actually have a name yet much less shown how Ted is adjusting to be a potential step dad. Just poor writing.

7) Big Bang Theory was spot on last week though. I’d comment about losing someone to the world of multiplayer gaming but that is a bit of a sore subject for me right now. Find me at the end of a bar one night and ask me about Everquest and I’ll explain. It won’t make any sense but I’ll explain.

8) Seriously, a hobbit? I don’t match up favorably to a hobbit?

9) Tomorrow night, one last debate live blog. Candidates! Canned positions! Bob Schieffer asking questions that will in no way be answered! I’ll try to make it interesting.