Much of the humor I find in life is by just looking at the small things that everyone else seems to miss. With such a torrent of information that we are all living under it is tough to pay attention to all of it. Luckily that is precisely what I do. Mainly because given my lack of a social life I have absolutely nothing else to do.
For example, back when I was job hunting I spent a lot of time on Monster. Not much came of it (there are probably seventy resumes of mine that have never been looked at floating around HR offices nationwide) but it did place me on all of these Monster email lists that get sent out providing helpful hints for your career. Last week they sent me one with the subject “Renegotiate your salary.”
Now let’s see. The market is down 40% in the past year. We have had the worst month in terms of market performance in at least twenty years and people are discussing major recessions and bantering around the word depression. Every company has been hit and there looks to be a lot of belt tightening in the future. Yep, this is exactly the type of environment in which you want to storm into the boss’s office and demand more money. I suggest pounding on the table and making wild, sweeping gestures to emphasize your point. I can’t see any harm coming from that whatsoever.
Meanwhile, on CNN right now there is a link stating “Can the Bible help you budget?” Personally, I really hope that a large amount of the post involves a detailed analysis of the loaves and the fishes story and how that can be used as a strategy for stretching your food dollar. I mean, they ended up with bushels left over after only starting out with a handful of food. However, if they do find verses that discuss how much I should put in a Roth IRA I will really need to reread the good book a little more closely.
(Oh, and so I don’t sound too cynical here is the best interpretation I know of for the loaves and the fishes story. When people traveled in those days, even to hear someone speak, you would always carry food with you. In those sad, pathetic days before McDonald’s you never knew when you would have a chance to buy something to eat. As a result this hillside of people after listening to the preaching was hungry but a large number had food. When the bushels were passed around people took some out but more than that, put what they had extra in so that all could eat. Shared their excess for the benefit of the whole. That is one view of it. I’m sure my theologian on call will have a different interpretation.)
Finally, as it is Halloween it means that the costume shops are in full effect. You know, those places that pop up for a month’s worth of business and then disappear until they get reborn as a fireworks outlet in summer. Well, to bring in customers they always have someone in costume out front trying to attract traffic. Usually I see people in super hero costumes or the occasional Frankentein monster. Nothing too special and you could always tell that the person holding the sign is hating every minute of it and is thankful that no one can see his face.
So I wasn’t too surprised when I drove past one of these places and saw someone dressed in a wizard’s costume. I’m talking full on Dumbledore with the robes and the hat and a beard that looked real enough that I assume that it was his own. What took me by surprise is how he was dramatically waving his arms and occasionally, and I swear I am not making this up, bowing to the traffic. One hand in front, one hand behind his back, full on bow whenever a car turned into the parking lot. It crossed the line from being entertaining to really creepy. There isn’t much about Halloween that is actually scary, unless you count crass commercialism centered around a meaningless holiday that takes away from the importance of Sweetest Day, but a guy with a wand bowing to me is more than a bit jarring.
Tomorrow: The return of The Pick Up Artist recaps! Starting with a double recap of the first two episodes. What secrets shall we learn this time?
Best of 120 Minutes: I think what I miss most about music right now is just finding songs and bands that are just fun. I’m stuck in the alt-country gutter for the most part, a genre that is lyrically brilliant but not exactly something that you can dance to. Even alt-rock is really mopey and emo at the moment. We need more bands like the Soup Dragons. You’re not sure what the song means but you enjoy it all the same.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Howie Day “The Madrigals EP”
2) Billy Bragg “Don’t Try This at Home”
3) Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins “Rabbit Fur Coat”
4) Pearl Jam “Ten”
5) Various Artists “Bloodshot Records Sampler 2001”
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