Who shall I be?

(For those curious, tomorrow is the anniversary of the 1929 stock market crash. Just keep that in mind as you watch the market. In advance of that, please join me in celebrating National Chocolate Day. Because you need something to help you through the day.)

There is something about this time of year that always drives you to a sense of gloom. There is a reason why we celebrate Halloween when we do. Over the past few weeks night has come much quicker and whereas you used to drive home in the daylight now you make the trek in darkness with the dying leaves still holding on to the trees. The chill in the air, the steady rain, all signs that summer is over and it is time to begin to hunker down for winter.

That makes things interesting for me as I just got here. I’ve only been in town two months and have barely gotten settled in myself. Now as I start getting the itch to head out and see what this area has to offer everyone else aims to close up shop for a little while. It is much easier to get a sense of a town when you are not bundled up against the elements.

But I think this will be useful for me as I need to take some time out to reassess my priorities. Now I was obviously doing this while I was unemployed and spending most of my day on my couch but I need to really figure out what my goals are. And when I say goals I mean that in a very literal sense. I keep my goals written on note cards in my wallet. These goals are now five years old though and they are in definite need of refreshing.

I’m not sure if other people are like this. I’ve had very good friends just stare blankly at me as I describe how I develop five year plans for my life. They can’t understand how anyone can try to draft what their future will be. I try to explain that it isn’t meant to be a step by step blueprint for my life but more like where I would prefer my destination. How I get there, and if I get there at all, is entirely up to me.

I’m not sure where I am going with this (sorry, been a long day) but it is going to be an interesting few weeks for me. Now that I have taken care of the pressing concerns of moving and getting settled into my new job I really need to look at who I am and decide if this is what I want to be. I have a good life, don’t get me wrong, but there are improvements to be made and some of them will not be easy for me to admit to myself. So if you happen to run into me at a coffee shop or at the end of a bar sometime in the near future and I appear deep in thought there is a good reason. I’m trying to decide my future.