Olympic musings

Olympic Commercial Comment #1: So Home Depot is the primary employer of our U.S. Olympic team. Does that make anyone else feel slightly depressed? That you spend your life focused on some specific skill like rowing or trap shooting and all that leaves you qualified to do is sell paint. At least it would make sense if the champion weightlifter works in the lumber department. He can carry the heavy stuff quite easily as part of his training.

Olympic Commercial Comment #2: I don’t know which is worse, the number of times I am watching the ad for McDonald’s Southern Style Chicken Sandwich or the number of times I have ordered it in the past week. How watching athletic people compete results in my making the worst health choice imaginable is beyond me.

Cruel Thought of the Night: (Following Alicia Sacramone’s repeated falls) Announcer: “What do you to say to someone in this situation?” EC: “Thanks for costing us the gold medal would be a good start.”

Actually that is what is so insane about women’s gymnastics. You spend your entire life training for this event. You complete ruin your body, postpone puberty and have no life outside of gymnastics. After all that effort you finally have your chance on the biggest stage of all. And then you try to land on a balance beam and fall and you have assholes like me on the couch laughing at you. There is something wrong with that picture.

Gender Equality Thought of the Night: So in women’s beach volleyball you wear swimsuits that show off every inch of your body. In men’s beach volleyball you wear shorts that go down to your knees. Can someone explain the reasoning behind this? Not that I am complaining, I would just like to know the reasoning behind it.

Sport That Really Needs the Involvement of Professionals: Wrestling, obviously. I want the Iron Sheik coming out of retirement to represent Iran. Let’s have numerous men in masks representing Mexico and Japan. At least three men wearing facing paint representing Parts Unknown. I want the gold medal match to take place inside a steel cage. This would so kick badmitton’s ass.