The Best Selling Albums of All-Time (Part Two)

Continuing the list of best selling albums of all time. (I’ll write about the convention tomorrow. I have much to say.)

15 Million Sold
Journey: “Greatest Hits”, Guns N’ Roses “Appetite for Destruction”, The Beatles “The Beatles 1962 – 1966”, Bee Gees “Saturday Night Fever Soundtrack”, Pink Floyd “The Dark Side of the Moon”, Bruce Springsteen “Born in the USA”

Seriously? 15 million people decided that they must own Journey’s greatest hits? I know a lot of people had their first makeout session to Open Arms but even that isn’t enough to buy the greatest hits collection. G’N’R’ makes an appearance that is deserved given how massive that band was in the late 80’s. Even my mom was aware of them. And, as I said before, the Beatles are the Beatles.

You might make fun of disco but the Bee Gees did well for what they were and they had awesome beards. I am actually surprised that Pink Floyd didn’t sell more given that this album was on the charts for something like twenty years. There are always just enough stoners around to keep that band in the black. No complaints on the Bruce Springsteen front either. Not many complaints at this level.

16 Million Sold
Led Zeppelin “Physical Graffiti”, Alanis Morissette “Jagged Little Pill”, Garth Brooks “No Fences”, The Beatles “The Beatles 1967 – 1970”, The Eagles “Hotel California”, Elton John “Greatest Hits”, Hootie and the Blowfish “Cracked Rear View”

Ok, I want to examine this list as someone twenty years from now. Led Zeppelin will be understandable. I think the band is horrible but I can understand their position on the chart. The Beatles (whose later greatest hits are apparently slightly more popular than their earlier songs), The Eagles, and Elton John are also expected to make appearances. I’m confident that in twenty years people will still remember those acts. You can probably put Garth Brooks in that category as well. It is a bit more of a stretch because even with 15M in sales he always will seem more of a genre act than a mainstream one and the fact that there isn’t much musical legacy to tie him to but people will remember him.

That leaves us with Alanis Morisette and Hootie and the Blowfish. Two acts that are, for all essential purposes, one hit wonders. Now they had more than one hit but they really only had one album that people cared about but wow, can you believe these sales numbers? People really wanted to hear Alanis sing about giving Dave Coulier a hummer and then completely misinterpret the word ironic. Or listen to Hootie discuss the importance of hand holding. A kid today would have no clue who you are referring to when you mention these acts. What is going to be the case twenty years from now.

17 Million Sold
Whitney Houston “The Bodyguard Soundtrack”, Boston “Boston”

Apparently a lot of people wanted to have a copy of “I Will Always Love You”. If you could name any other song on that soundtrack I will be stunned. Boston is essentially the 70’s version of Hootie and the Blowfish. They started off massively popular and are now a pop culture afterthought. I am just old enough to remember some of the songs but most people wouldn’t be able to name a single song by the band. Though I will always give props to bands that use spaceships on their album covers. Super cool.

(And here is the Top 10)

19 Million Sold
The Beatles “The White Album”, Fleetwood Mac “Rumours”

You could argue about whether these are the best discs of either band but there is certainly no argument regarding the musical quality of either act. Incredible talent at this level of sales.

20 Million Sold
Garth Brooks “Garth Double Live”, Shania Twain “Come On Over”

Take everything I said about the last group and reverse it. Exactly how Garth Brooks sold that many records confuses me. I don’t understand how he sold out a week’s worth of shows in KC either. Shania Twain is a wonderful example of the power of marketing. There is some talent there but not enough for 20 million in sales.

21 Million Sold
Billy Joel “Greatest Hits, Volumes 1 and 2 (1973 – 1985)”

Actually, this is a greatest hits set that I could understand owning. Billy Joel had such a massive collection of hits across such a wide range of albums that owning the greatest hits collection actually makes a decent bit of sense. What is funny is that I don’t think anyone would ever consider Billy Joel to be massively popular. He is just an artist that everyone likes and has a few favorite songs so when they are in a record store they see his greatest hits collection and go “that would be a good pickup”. Like there were 21 million spur of the moment purchases.

22 Million Sold
AC/DC “Back in Black”

I’m still stunned by just the sheer number of units sold here. Do you know how insane it is to get 22 million people it is to do anything in the current marketplace? Now get them to buy a heavy metal disc. I’m impressed more than anything.

23 Million Sold
Pink Floyd “The Wall”

I never got Pink Floyd. I know people who have this album. Hell, one of my siblings had it on tape. I just never had any desire to listen to it. Maybe I was just too square or didn’t imbibe in the proper chemical mixtures.

24 Million Sold
Led Zeppelin “Led Zeppelin IV”

Sigh. I hate Led Zeppelin. The fawning over the band always seemed to be completely overblown. I’m very confident that half of these sales are a direct result of Fast Times at Ridgemont High where it was implied that purchasing this disc would help you get laid. For the record, this is one of the two discs that I have ever sold in my life because of the fact that apparently Fast Times lied to me.

27 Million Sold
Michael Jackson “Thriller”

Say what you will about Michael Jackson but this album had all types of hits on it. And incredibly cool videos. “Beat It” had a gang fight, an Eddie Van Halen guitar solo, and a rather confusing choreographed dance all in one. Plus, there is the duet with Paul McCartney that is extremely silly when you listen to it now but as a kid I thought it was awesome.

29 Million Sold
The Eagles “Their Greatest Hits 1971 – 1975”

Yes, the best selling album of all time is a greatest hits collection. One from a band I don’t particularly like as well. Maybe that says something about my view of popular culture.

Here is my biggest thing. Look at this list and you know who is missing? Nirvana and U2. Arguably the two biggest and most influential bands of the past twenty years and neither of them could outsell freaking Jewel. Sleep on that one.