I would like to apologize to everyone who was expecting to see me write the results of Star Wars-a-palooza tonight. Despite my previously stated intentions I did not in fact spend the first full day of my unemployment by sitting on my couch and watching every episode of Star Wars in order. I instead got to spend the morning doing something more enjoyable than watching the prequels. Ok, that is damning with faint praise. Let’s just say that there are some things in my life more important than Star Wars. No one will actually believe that but it is true.
(I did however spend my first day of unemployment by hanging out directly across the street from my old office. Seriously, I could see my cube from there. That just seemed totally unfair. Cool, but unfair.)
However, that was sadly just the morning so by about 1:30 in the afternoon I discovered that I was watching Rachel Ray and going slowly insane due to boredom. How bad was it? Not only did I clean my apartment this afternoon, not only did I disassemble my vacuum cleaner in order to optimize my vacuuming experience, but I even mopped the floors. Heck, I even drove to the store to get a new mop for the occasion. True, I needed to mop the floors since my entryway still had shoeprint shaped dirt marks where all the snow and slush had melted off my shoes but for crying out loud why the hell am I mopping floors? If this is what I do on day one what the hell am I going to be doing on day 27?
Anyway, I need to royally switch gears here because I have a topic that I need to discuss tonight. It is something that is pretty much the ultimate in geekery for me and if I ever wanted to impress someone by what I write this topic would never come up but damnit, it’s my blog and I write what I need to write. Last night was “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair’s last match and tonight was his official retirement sendoff and I just have to try to explain this to people who might not follow wrestling.
Ric Flair had a 36 year career and he was a top of the card star for 30 of those. When I say that I have watched Flair wrestle my entire life it is not a joke. That’s how long he has been in the business. Throughout that time he was consistently the best wrestler around and for maybe a ten year period from 84 to 94 he was probably the greatest performer who ever wrestled. Looking at his career in total there is no one who would even come close to comparing to the guy. He could talk, he could wrestle, he could tell a story in the ring and he could make you forget that everything that you were watching was predetermined. The guy was simply the best.
One of the horrible things about the wrestling business (and there are more than a few) is that once you hit the end of your career you are pretty much forgotten. You go from being on television to wrestling in high school gyms. There is no sendoff, no retiring of a jersey, just the fact that one day you are no longer on television. Given the political nature of the business if you’ve pissed off the wrong people over the years you might even be written out of the history. There are more than a few wrestlers that the WWE will not acknowledge even existed. I always feared that Ric Flair, someone who maybe meant more to wrestling than anyone else, would end up that way.
Luckily that has not been the case. Sure, Ric should have retired a while ago as he really was too old to perform as Ric Flair but he deserved one last run in the spotlight. What’s more important is that he got to have one last match in front of 70,000 people and tonight he was honored by the fans and the wrestlers. I’ve never really seen anything like it. Ric said his goodbyes and thank yous to the crowd and then they started to bring on all of the legends from the past. By the end the entire locker room, every single person who works for WWE, was out there applauding and thanking Ric for what he has done. This is the equivalent to saying goodbye to Jordan or to Ruth. The best ever has laced up the boots for the last time. Enjoy retirement Ric.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
There are some lectures I will not be a part of
Something dawned on me while I was at the bar last night. It was one of those nights where the bar staff is giving you unemployment shots and no one believes your stories because they are actually true for once. Anyway, while sitting there, smiling to myself at just how amazingly bizarre my life can be at times, I realized that I was happier about myself and my predicament than I have been in years. At that moment I was just happy to be me. My life is far from perfect but I feel as though I have my confidence back and what happens next is entirely of my own volition. It is such a good feeling. I hope it stays with me.
Anyway, now that I am officially unemployed (even though I think I can still get into my email) I can finally tell the story about the exact moment that I knew that I had to leave my job. I didn’t want to tell this story while I was still working even though it wouldn’t have broken any rules. It has nothing to do with corporate strategy or financial maneuverings or anything that would impact a stock price. It was however a moment where I saw a flashing neon billboard telling me that my company and I were going in opposite directions.
We were in the midst of yet another reorg. In a span of two years I had gone through numerous senior VPs, VPs, directors and managers without ever changing jobs or cubicles. I’d occasionally look up, get handed a new reporting structure, and then lower my head and go back to doing precisely what I was doing before. Sometimes you needed a scorecard to keep up but I was always content knowing that I was doing work that I enjoyed and that people appreciated.
So last summer as part of the latest reorg we had our first all hands meeting with the new senior VP. I didn’t know the guy, never worked for him before, so I really didn’t know what to expect. I took my usual seat in the last row of a windowless conference room with hundreds of other employees and listened to his spiel. It was the usual talk about the future and needing to innovate and how we were to focus on change and become more productive as employees. And one of the keys to becoming more productive? Better Powerpoint slides.
I am not making this up. The next ten minutes of the presentation (remember, this is the first time I had ever heard this guy talk and he was supposed to be inspiring me at the time) were spent discussing how to properly make powerpoint slides. Including helpful hints like “check that words are spelled correctly”, “avoid using too many bullet points”, “make effective use of white space” and “don’t cloud the page with numbers.” I just sat there in shock.
Now, despite the fact that many people rightly call me an arrogant prick I seldom pull rank. I know that I have a lot of pieces of paper that say that I am smart and I don’t need to show them. But I sat there in the last row feeling completely insulted that I had to listen to this. It made me sick to my stomach that I had to sit there and act like I was appreciating this. I have a degree in electrical engineering from one of the top programs in the world. I have an MBA from Notre Dame, a school that I can mention anywhere on this planet and get nods of recognition. I’ve already accomplished more in my life than I ever expected. Yet, I was sitting there listening to someone tell me how to build powerpoint slides.
I could see this talk if everything was going along perfectly but anyone who knew anything understood that the company was in serious trouble. The financials weren’t looking good, we were floundering in the market, and there seemed to be a total lack of direction. I went into that room expecting to hear concrete details about how we were going to proceed and turn the ship around and become the top notch company we should be. Instead I was being lectured on the use of Clip Art.
The only analogy that I could think of at the moment was this. One of my idols is the former UCLA coach John Wooden. He’s one of the best leaders and strategists who ever lived. Bill Walton always tells the story about how at the first practice of the season Wooden would start practice by showing the players how to put on their shoes and socks so they wouldn’t get blisters. At the time Walton thought it was the dumbest thing he ever saw. Later he realized that this was Wooden’s way of emphasizing the importance of doing the little things right so that you can accomplish the big things later. But remember that this was at the first practice of the year. When the team was down eight with three minutes to go he wasn’t telling them how to put on their socks. He was telling them how to win the damn game.
I’ve never in my life seen a leader so completely miss the point. If it wasn’t for the people sitting next to me at the time I would have probably walked out and never looked back. Instead I hung around, did my job, and waited for the next package so that I could walk out the door. Obviously the company and I were of differing opinions as to what was important. And when that is the case I figure it is best to strike out on a new path. Now I just have to choose it.
Oh, and I got an A in my Management Speaking course so I already knew how to build powerpoint slides. What the hell.
Best of 120 Minutes: Maybe this might explain why something as insignificant as ten minutes of a presentation can set me off. This is what I grew up listening to and at the end of the day I am a punk rock kid. Joe Strummer would have left the room I can promise you that.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) The Jayhawks “Tomorrow the Green Grass”
2) Joe Henry “Trampoline”
3) Cowboy Junkies “Rarities, B Sides and Slow, Sad Waltzes”
4) Harry Connick Jr. “We Are In Love”
5) Kelly Willis “Well Traveled Love”
Anyway, now that I am officially unemployed (even though I think I can still get into my email) I can finally tell the story about the exact moment that I knew that I had to leave my job. I didn’t want to tell this story while I was still working even though it wouldn’t have broken any rules. It has nothing to do with corporate strategy or financial maneuverings or anything that would impact a stock price. It was however a moment where I saw a flashing neon billboard telling me that my company and I were going in opposite directions.
We were in the midst of yet another reorg. In a span of two years I had gone through numerous senior VPs, VPs, directors and managers without ever changing jobs or cubicles. I’d occasionally look up, get handed a new reporting structure, and then lower my head and go back to doing precisely what I was doing before. Sometimes you needed a scorecard to keep up but I was always content knowing that I was doing work that I enjoyed and that people appreciated.
So last summer as part of the latest reorg we had our first all hands meeting with the new senior VP. I didn’t know the guy, never worked for him before, so I really didn’t know what to expect. I took my usual seat in the last row of a windowless conference room with hundreds of other employees and listened to his spiel. It was the usual talk about the future and needing to innovate and how we were to focus on change and become more productive as employees. And one of the keys to becoming more productive? Better Powerpoint slides.
I am not making this up. The next ten minutes of the presentation (remember, this is the first time I had ever heard this guy talk and he was supposed to be inspiring me at the time) were spent discussing how to properly make powerpoint slides. Including helpful hints like “check that words are spelled correctly”, “avoid using too many bullet points”, “make effective use of white space” and “don’t cloud the page with numbers.” I just sat there in shock.
Now, despite the fact that many people rightly call me an arrogant prick I seldom pull rank. I know that I have a lot of pieces of paper that say that I am smart and I don’t need to show them. But I sat there in the last row feeling completely insulted that I had to listen to this. It made me sick to my stomach that I had to sit there and act like I was appreciating this. I have a degree in electrical engineering from one of the top programs in the world. I have an MBA from Notre Dame, a school that I can mention anywhere on this planet and get nods of recognition. I’ve already accomplished more in my life than I ever expected. Yet, I was sitting there listening to someone tell me how to build powerpoint slides.
I could see this talk if everything was going along perfectly but anyone who knew anything understood that the company was in serious trouble. The financials weren’t looking good, we were floundering in the market, and there seemed to be a total lack of direction. I went into that room expecting to hear concrete details about how we were going to proceed and turn the ship around and become the top notch company we should be. Instead I was being lectured on the use of Clip Art.
The only analogy that I could think of at the moment was this. One of my idols is the former UCLA coach John Wooden. He’s one of the best leaders and strategists who ever lived. Bill Walton always tells the story about how at the first practice of the season Wooden would start practice by showing the players how to put on their shoes and socks so they wouldn’t get blisters. At the time Walton thought it was the dumbest thing he ever saw. Later he realized that this was Wooden’s way of emphasizing the importance of doing the little things right so that you can accomplish the big things later. But remember that this was at the first practice of the year. When the team was down eight with three minutes to go he wasn’t telling them how to put on their socks. He was telling them how to win the damn game.
I’ve never in my life seen a leader so completely miss the point. If it wasn’t for the people sitting next to me at the time I would have probably walked out and never looked back. Instead I hung around, did my job, and waited for the next package so that I could walk out the door. Obviously the company and I were of differing opinions as to what was important. And when that is the case I figure it is best to strike out on a new path. Now I just have to choose it.
Oh, and I got an A in my Management Speaking course so I already knew how to build powerpoint slides. What the hell.
Best of 120 Minutes: Maybe this might explain why something as insignificant as ten minutes of a presentation can set me off. This is what I grew up listening to and at the end of the day I am a punk rock kid. Joe Strummer would have left the room I can promise you that.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) The Jayhawks “Tomorrow the Green Grass”
2) Joe Henry “Trampoline”
3) Cowboy Junkies “Rarities, B Sides and Slow, Sad Waltzes”
4) Harry Connick Jr. “We Are In Love”
5) Kelly Willis “Well Traveled Love”
Friday, March 28, 2008
Second star to the right and straight on 'til morning
Realized that I forgot a few regrets last night. Here they are so Foodie, uh, be careful while reading these.
I wish that I would have done the following once they installed all of the motion sensitive equipment. That morning I wanted to just say “sink activate”, “soap activate”, “towels activate” loudly and clearly every time I used them. I am convinced that within two days I would have had the entire floor thinking that they were voice activated and I would have had untold enjoyment watching people yell at a paper towel dispenser.
I never hurdled the badge reader even though I thought about that every time I went through one. Just see if I could jump over it without setting off the alarm. True, the swarm of segways would be upon me as a result but I’m confident that I could elude them through effective use of staircases.
Despite what some people believe, I never did hack into the underground parking garage. I did figure out how to do it, though. If I didn’t believe that I had to use my power for good and not evil I would have a lot more fun. Plus, evil has much better fashion sense than I do.
Always wanted to introduce myself on a conference call as Optimus Prime. What? It’s a perfectly common name.
Finally, I always wanted to come in late one Sunday night and go from conference room to conference room writing on each consecutive white board the opening chapter of A Tale of Two Cities. Someone has to make Mondays interesting.
(On Sunday I’ll probably write about the moment when I realized that I needed to leave my job. I’d write it tonight but there is a possibility that it would result in my being the first person to be fired on his last day on the job.)
(Time to switch gears here)
I keep in my bedroom something my mom gave me when I left ComEd to go to Notre Dame. It is a picture of one of my favorite places on the planet: the Cliffs of Moher on the coast of Ireland. For those who don’t know about them, this is an area in the southwest of Ireland in which the island simply stops and it is a 700 foot drop to the ocean. I’ve stood there and looked out and it is simply ocean for as far as you can see. It is literally the end of the world. If you went west you wouldn’t hit land until North America. Under this picture is the following saying
“May you seek your dreams and find adventure but always know that you can come home.”
I’ve been thinking about this quote a lot recently. When I went off to Notre Dame it truly was a case of my seeking my dreams. I just went head long into a challenge that I had no idea if I could handle. I was attending business school without having anything but a standard business background. I was a techie who had spent the past five years building mathematical models of the electrical grid of the eastern U.S. I didn’t know anything about marketing or accounting but I pursued a dream and grabbed the brass ring. At least for a moment.
So tomorrow afternoon I will find myself in that same position. All that is in front of me is ocean and sky. Land is out there somewhere, I’m pretty sure of it. I have some people who have agreed to help me in the journey and a few others may join in along the way. Don’t know quite where the journey will take me or if the winds will always be favorable but it is time for me to chart the new course. Off to capture my dreams and live one more adventure. Let’s see what the voyage might bring.
I wish that I would have done the following once they installed all of the motion sensitive equipment. That morning I wanted to just say “sink activate”, “soap activate”, “towels activate” loudly and clearly every time I used them. I am convinced that within two days I would have had the entire floor thinking that they were voice activated and I would have had untold enjoyment watching people yell at a paper towel dispenser.
I never hurdled the badge reader even though I thought about that every time I went through one. Just see if I could jump over it without setting off the alarm. True, the swarm of segways would be upon me as a result but I’m confident that I could elude them through effective use of staircases.
Despite what some people believe, I never did hack into the underground parking garage. I did figure out how to do it, though. If I didn’t believe that I had to use my power for good and not evil I would have a lot more fun. Plus, evil has much better fashion sense than I do.
Always wanted to introduce myself on a conference call as Optimus Prime. What? It’s a perfectly common name.
Finally, I always wanted to come in late one Sunday night and go from conference room to conference room writing on each consecutive white board the opening chapter of A Tale of Two Cities. Someone has to make Mondays interesting.
(On Sunday I’ll probably write about the moment when I realized that I needed to leave my job. I’d write it tonight but there is a possibility that it would result in my being the first person to be fired on his last day on the job.)
(Time to switch gears here)
I keep in my bedroom something my mom gave me when I left ComEd to go to Notre Dame. It is a picture of one of my favorite places on the planet: the Cliffs of Moher on the coast of Ireland. For those who don’t know about them, this is an area in the southwest of Ireland in which the island simply stops and it is a 700 foot drop to the ocean. I’ve stood there and looked out and it is simply ocean for as far as you can see. It is literally the end of the world. If you went west you wouldn’t hit land until North America. Under this picture is the following saying
“May you seek your dreams and find adventure but always know that you can come home.”
I’ve been thinking about this quote a lot recently. When I went off to Notre Dame it truly was a case of my seeking my dreams. I just went head long into a challenge that I had no idea if I could handle. I was attending business school without having anything but a standard business background. I was a techie who had spent the past five years building mathematical models of the electrical grid of the eastern U.S. I didn’t know anything about marketing or accounting but I pursued a dream and grabbed the brass ring. At least for a moment.
So tomorrow afternoon I will find myself in that same position. All that is in front of me is ocean and sky. Land is out there somewhere, I’m pretty sure of it. I have some people who have agreed to help me in the journey and a few others may join in along the way. Don’t know quite where the journey will take me or if the winds will always be favorable but it is time for me to chart the new course. Off to capture my dreams and live one more adventure. Let’s see what the voyage might bring.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Regrets? I have a few. But as they say, enough to make a blog post.
(Since I am going to be listing the blog in my going away email tomorrow I might as welcome all of the people who clicked on the link to finally view my blog. Hi, here’s what you’ve been missing. Stay awhile.)
As my career at the rather large phone company winds down I feel that it is time for me to reflect on my five years here. I know, I’ve always kept the rule of never talking about work but it’s the end of the road. There are some things I need to talk about. Specifically, there are many things that I regret doing or not doing. So in an attempt to cleanse my soul here is what I would do differently if I had the chance.
I’d take a ride on one of the security guard’s segways. It’s not like they are going to catch me. I’d be on a segway. I wouldn’t wear the helmet though. Why look like a dork when you’re already on a segway?
I still wish I had gone through with my protest on dress code enforcement by doing the following. One week I would start wearing a tie to the office. A few days later I would add in a sport coat. I’d follow that up with a three piece suit, immaculately tailored of course. If that didn’t get me sent to HR I was prepared to come to work in a top hat and tails, complete with white gloves and a cane. I’d break out a monocle but I think then most people would just think I was dressed as the Planters Peanut.
Staying on the dress code front, I still can’t believe I never got in trouble for changing for concerts in the office. Especially when I worked in the headquarters building on the same floor as the top executives. I’d walk around in jeans and a CBGBs t-shirt and no one ever questioned it for a second. That said, it might explain my lack of promotions.
Oh, and I regret never getting a cubicle with a window. Someday I will achieve my dream of being able to tell if it is raining or not without having to walk fifty feet.
I never did get my personal parking space. I did once ask the head of the real estate department about this once. I’m not kidding. I was in a big meeting with her and someone asked if there were any questions and I raised my hand and requested my own space. Somehow that didn’t go over nearly as well as I expected.
I wish I would have stood up for myself more. I probably should have walked out of the room when early in my career someone took all the work that I had done for the past two weeks and said “this is meaningless.” Especially because I had just proven that I was doing a better job than the consultants he hired. It probably wouldn’t have done my career any favors but it would have felt really, really good.
I also would have liked to just once receive an explanation as to why the food in the cafeteria was so expensive. The best answer I ever received was that it was priced “to keep people on campus and productive”.
I never got to the point where I put on the Decaf coffee pot a note reading: “An orange lid indicates decaf. Please do not fill this pot with four packets of caffeinated coffee. Some of us poor souls are under doctor’s order to give up caffeine unless we want to hear the words “heart” and “explode” in the same sentence. Please have pity on us. It is not an enjoyable existence.”
That said I should have just taken the pot to my desk every day. Once I leave I doubt that pot will ever be used again.
I wish I hadn’t let the job get me down so much. Sometimes the politics and the drama of the place just got me down so much that all I wanted to do was put on my headphones and ignore everything except the numbers that were in front of me. As a result I turned into a person even I don’t like hanging out with and I missed out on some really cool people in the process. That is a mistake I will not make again.
Oh, and I always wanted someone to ask me just what I was listening to on my headphones. What’s the point of wearing headphones if no one asks what you are listening to? Other than getting to avoid listening to a woman a few cubes down talk about her hernia.
But most of all, I regret never wearing the red clown nose to work. Sometimes I feel that what the company misses most is some unexpected levity. No one would have expected it from me either. The simplest things can sometimes be the most interesting.
Wednesday Night Music Club: Because I am just about to head off to his show here is Mike Doughty’s “27 Jennifers”. He is the guy from Soul Coughing and is just awesome. Gen X lives, if just for one more night.
As my career at the rather large phone company winds down I feel that it is time for me to reflect on my five years here. I know, I’ve always kept the rule of never talking about work but it’s the end of the road. There are some things I need to talk about. Specifically, there are many things that I regret doing or not doing. So in an attempt to cleanse my soul here is what I would do differently if I had the chance.
I’d take a ride on one of the security guard’s segways. It’s not like they are going to catch me. I’d be on a segway. I wouldn’t wear the helmet though. Why look like a dork when you’re already on a segway?
I still wish I had gone through with my protest on dress code enforcement by doing the following. One week I would start wearing a tie to the office. A few days later I would add in a sport coat. I’d follow that up with a three piece suit, immaculately tailored of course. If that didn’t get me sent to HR I was prepared to come to work in a top hat and tails, complete with white gloves and a cane. I’d break out a monocle but I think then most people would just think I was dressed as the Planters Peanut.
Staying on the dress code front, I still can’t believe I never got in trouble for changing for concerts in the office. Especially when I worked in the headquarters building on the same floor as the top executives. I’d walk around in jeans and a CBGBs t-shirt and no one ever questioned it for a second. That said, it might explain my lack of promotions.
Oh, and I regret never getting a cubicle with a window. Someday I will achieve my dream of being able to tell if it is raining or not without having to walk fifty feet.
I never did get my personal parking space. I did once ask the head of the real estate department about this once. I’m not kidding. I was in a big meeting with her and someone asked if there were any questions and I raised my hand and requested my own space. Somehow that didn’t go over nearly as well as I expected.
I wish I would have stood up for myself more. I probably should have walked out of the room when early in my career someone took all the work that I had done for the past two weeks and said “this is meaningless.” Especially because I had just proven that I was doing a better job than the consultants he hired. It probably wouldn’t have done my career any favors but it would have felt really, really good.
I also would have liked to just once receive an explanation as to why the food in the cafeteria was so expensive. The best answer I ever received was that it was priced “to keep people on campus and productive”.
I never got to the point where I put on the Decaf coffee pot a note reading: “An orange lid indicates decaf. Please do not fill this pot with four packets of caffeinated coffee. Some of us poor souls are under doctor’s order to give up caffeine unless we want to hear the words “heart” and “explode” in the same sentence. Please have pity on us. It is not an enjoyable existence.”
That said I should have just taken the pot to my desk every day. Once I leave I doubt that pot will ever be used again.
I wish I hadn’t let the job get me down so much. Sometimes the politics and the drama of the place just got me down so much that all I wanted to do was put on my headphones and ignore everything except the numbers that were in front of me. As a result I turned into a person even I don’t like hanging out with and I missed out on some really cool people in the process. That is a mistake I will not make again.
Oh, and I always wanted someone to ask me just what I was listening to on my headphones. What’s the point of wearing headphones if no one asks what you are listening to? Other than getting to avoid listening to a woman a few cubes down talk about her hernia.
But most of all, I regret never wearing the red clown nose to work. Sometimes I feel that what the company misses most is some unexpected levity. No one would have expected it from me either. The simplest things can sometimes be the most interesting.
Wednesday Night Music Club: Because I am just about to head off to his show here is Mike Doughty’s “27 Jennifers”. He is the guy from Soul Coughing and is just awesome. Gen X lives, if just for one more night.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
This week on Bumper Stumpers...
If there is one thing that I am going to miss about not having a commute (other than getting to discover how many ways Kansas City can avoid filling in potholes) it is going to be not seeing so many wonderful vanity plates. Here are the two best from this week.
GUNGIRL: Remind me to never, under any possible circumstances, cut off a car with this license plate. I doubt that I would live to see the next traffic light. This is roughly the automotive equivalent of carrying a sign that reads “Will kick your ass for food.”
(By the way, there is a guy who stands on a corner I drive by who holds a sign that reads “Need money for tobacco and alcohol research.” I give him points for honesty.)
BJ-LOU: This is a rather unfortunate plate. After seeing the person in the car I’m pretty sure that this car is owned by a rather nice couple who refer to each other as B.J. and Lou. I bet they are incredibly sweet towards one another and are happier than I have ever been in my entire life. Still, that doesn’t stop the kid in me from seeing that plate on a Monday morning and start laughing hysterically because, look, it’s BJ LOU.
Yeah, I’m still a guy who at one point felt that convincing a girl to come back to my apartment after the bars closed to watch old Beavis and Butthead episodes was a good idea. That’s not even some bizarre euphemism; my plan was for us to watch some old episodes I had on DVD. At the time this seemed like a perfectly logical way to win over her heart. This is what happens when people order me shots of tequila. Which reminds me…I need to watch those DVDs on Monday.
Random Facebook Note: I know that I’m not the only person who receives random Facebook advertising links. It is an interesting way to discover what marketers think of you. Recently I had been receiving a lot of “Hot single women in your area want to meet you” ads. Apparently they have factored in that I hadn’t clicked on those because over the weekend I started to get hair loss ads. I’m not making this up. Even Facebook assumes that my lack of confidence with women is somehow tied to my current hairstyle. For the record I have a fine mass of luxurious hair that is going gray in a very dignified manner. So please Facebook overlords, can I avoid having to see some bald guy’s head every time I log on?
Oh, and before I click on the other ads I want more definitive proof that they are actually a) hot, b) single, c) women, d) in my area and e) want to meet me. I’ll take four of the five, (ok, three to be honest) but C is going to have to be in the equation somewhere.
One last random, somewhat geeky note. I’m really upset that they are basically going to kill the Mars Rovers due to budget cuts. They’ll continue to fund the space station, which no one wants and serves no purpose, but they are going to turn off the greatest machines ever built. Think about this. Spirit and Opportunity have been rolling around Mars for four years now with no way for on the spot repairs. The hope was that they would survive three months and that was if they survived the landing in one piece. I really consider the rovers to be one of the greatest feats of engineering ever. Why we will kill a program that is actually working is beyond me. There might be a few other areas of government that could use a few less million in funding.
GUNGIRL: Remind me to never, under any possible circumstances, cut off a car with this license plate. I doubt that I would live to see the next traffic light. This is roughly the automotive equivalent of carrying a sign that reads “Will kick your ass for food.”
(By the way, there is a guy who stands on a corner I drive by who holds a sign that reads “Need money for tobacco and alcohol research.” I give him points for honesty.)
BJ-LOU: This is a rather unfortunate plate. After seeing the person in the car I’m pretty sure that this car is owned by a rather nice couple who refer to each other as B.J. and Lou. I bet they are incredibly sweet towards one another and are happier than I have ever been in my entire life. Still, that doesn’t stop the kid in me from seeing that plate on a Monday morning and start laughing hysterically because, look, it’s BJ LOU.
Yeah, I’m still a guy who at one point felt that convincing a girl to come back to my apartment after the bars closed to watch old Beavis and Butthead episodes was a good idea. That’s not even some bizarre euphemism; my plan was for us to watch some old episodes I had on DVD. At the time this seemed like a perfectly logical way to win over her heart. This is what happens when people order me shots of tequila. Which reminds me…I need to watch those DVDs on Monday.
Random Facebook Note: I know that I’m not the only person who receives random Facebook advertising links. It is an interesting way to discover what marketers think of you. Recently I had been receiving a lot of “Hot single women in your area want to meet you” ads. Apparently they have factored in that I hadn’t clicked on those because over the weekend I started to get hair loss ads. I’m not making this up. Even Facebook assumes that my lack of confidence with women is somehow tied to my current hairstyle. For the record I have a fine mass of luxurious hair that is going gray in a very dignified manner. So please Facebook overlords, can I avoid having to see some bald guy’s head every time I log on?
Oh, and before I click on the other ads I want more definitive proof that they are actually a) hot, b) single, c) women, d) in my area and e) want to meet me. I’ll take four of the five, (ok, three to be honest) but C is going to have to be in the equation somewhere.
One last random, somewhat geeky note. I’m really upset that they are basically going to kill the Mars Rovers due to budget cuts. They’ll continue to fund the space station, which no one wants and serves no purpose, but they are going to turn off the greatest machines ever built. Think about this. Spirit and Opportunity have been rolling around Mars for four years now with no way for on the spot repairs. The hope was that they would survive three months and that was if they survived the landing in one piece. I really consider the rovers to be one of the greatest feats of engineering ever. Why we will kill a program that is actually working is beyond me. There might be a few other areas of government that could use a few less million in funding.
Monday, March 24, 2008
The harpist in the garden...
First off, I hope that everyone had a very merry Dyngus Day today. What, you don’t know what Dyngus Day is? It is simply the best holiday ever. Consider it a reverse Mardi Gras. Well, not in the “I’ll give you beads if you put your shirt back on” sense of the term but from a theological standpoint it is very similar. See, on Mardi Gras you go wild because it is your last chance to have fun before you have to give up all of your bad habits for Lent. Dyngus Day works the same way as it is the day after Easter and we can go back to our ways of sin and debauchery. Also, sauerkraut is involved. Don’t ask me why, it just is.
Actually, back in my Czech homeland we would celebrate this day in the following way. A young single male such as myself would sneak into the house of the girl he was pining for, pour water over her head while she slept, and then whip her across the legs with long twigs. I’m not making this up. It says so on Wikipedia and we all know Wikipedia doesn’t lie. Sometimes I wonder why we left the old country behind. I think this would be a great tradition to continue, restraining orders aside.
Speaking of things that are going to result in a restraining order after a week of careful deliberation I have come up with my solution to the Say Anything dilemma. Since I no longer have a boom box and holding an iPod docking station over my head seems rather pathetic I have decided that I must up the ante. Yes, one day a lucky lady will find myself outside her window with a backing band. And since I have money and a strange sense of humor it won’t be any band; it will be The Polyphonic Spree. Imagine the sight: waking up to see twenty five people dressed in white choir robes dancing and singing and playing music in someone’s yard while I directed the action in an attempt to prove my undying love for whoever was at that moment most likely calling the cops. That said, I don’t thinking being too awesome for words should technically be considered a crime.
(To get a sense of what this would be like they kind of did this on an episode of Scrubs. And I do look like Zach Braff if I lose the glasses and intentionally dishevel my hair as opposed to its usual unintentionally disheveled state.)
I have a couple of notes on The Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother that I have been meaning to mention. First off, while I will always consider myself to be a Fitzgerald in search of his Zelda or a Gatsby in search of his Daisy it might be better if I just say that I am a Leonard in search of his Penny. True, I prefer the Fitzgerald reference (even if he did die an alcoholic in Hollywood) and Gatsby certainly had more style (being shot to death in his pool aside) the Leonard reference is probably more accurate. That’s pretty much me. Good guy, too smart for his own good, who wants to fall in love and be in a relationship but can’t because his brain always seems to get in the way. Also, he did hook up with Darlene from Roseanne so he does have that going for him.
Best reference in last week’s show that explains how my mind works: The guys wiring up their entire apartment so that they can control everything through the internet and then granting open access to the entire world to turn their lights on and off. Why? Because they can. Is there another reason?
I watched last week’s episode of How I Met Your Mother last night and once again that show seemed to be taken from my life. It’s kind of stunning given what I had written right before I watched it. Ted, my slightly cooler alter ego, goes too far one night, wakes up with a black eye, and is finally shown that he is going in the wrong direction. Pretty much dead on to what I’m going through; that realization that you have become someone you don’t particularly like. Since Ted apparently picked up the umbrella of his future life we can only hope that both of our lives are headed in the right direction.
Also, tonight’s episode was classic with the two minute date. Sure, you might not be able to get that to work so flawlessly in real life but in terms of turning a no into a yes it is probably a great move. Plus, I loved the fact that it showed that trying all of the games and schemes failed miserably mainly because I can’t pull them off. Maybe if I just be who I am then things will work out. Wow, be myself. That idea is so crazy it just might work.
Oh, and Brit’s performance tonight? Not bad. She didn’t set the set on fire or anything. I’m speaking literally here as in the fire department was not called in. It was a pretty harmless guest spot, she didn’t blow a line or seem completely out of it and if you ignored everything that has happened in the past few years it would seem pretty inconsequential. For her, this can be considered progress.
Actually, back in my Czech homeland we would celebrate this day in the following way. A young single male such as myself would sneak into the house of the girl he was pining for, pour water over her head while she slept, and then whip her across the legs with long twigs. I’m not making this up. It says so on Wikipedia and we all know Wikipedia doesn’t lie. Sometimes I wonder why we left the old country behind. I think this would be a great tradition to continue, restraining orders aside.
Speaking of things that are going to result in a restraining order after a week of careful deliberation I have come up with my solution to the Say Anything dilemma. Since I no longer have a boom box and holding an iPod docking station over my head seems rather pathetic I have decided that I must up the ante. Yes, one day a lucky lady will find myself outside her window with a backing band. And since I have money and a strange sense of humor it won’t be any band; it will be The Polyphonic Spree. Imagine the sight: waking up to see twenty five people dressed in white choir robes dancing and singing and playing music in someone’s yard while I directed the action in an attempt to prove my undying love for whoever was at that moment most likely calling the cops. That said, I don’t thinking being too awesome for words should technically be considered a crime.
(To get a sense of what this would be like they kind of did this on an episode of Scrubs. And I do look like Zach Braff if I lose the glasses and intentionally dishevel my hair as opposed to its usual unintentionally disheveled state.)
I have a couple of notes on The Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother that I have been meaning to mention. First off, while I will always consider myself to be a Fitzgerald in search of his Zelda or a Gatsby in search of his Daisy it might be better if I just say that I am a Leonard in search of his Penny. True, I prefer the Fitzgerald reference (even if he did die an alcoholic in Hollywood) and Gatsby certainly had more style (being shot to death in his pool aside) the Leonard reference is probably more accurate. That’s pretty much me. Good guy, too smart for his own good, who wants to fall in love and be in a relationship but can’t because his brain always seems to get in the way. Also, he did hook up with Darlene from Roseanne so he does have that going for him.
Best reference in last week’s show that explains how my mind works: The guys wiring up their entire apartment so that they can control everything through the internet and then granting open access to the entire world to turn their lights on and off. Why? Because they can. Is there another reason?
I watched last week’s episode of How I Met Your Mother last night and once again that show seemed to be taken from my life. It’s kind of stunning given what I had written right before I watched it. Ted, my slightly cooler alter ego, goes too far one night, wakes up with a black eye, and is finally shown that he is going in the wrong direction. Pretty much dead on to what I’m going through; that realization that you have become someone you don’t particularly like. Since Ted apparently picked up the umbrella of his future life we can only hope that both of our lives are headed in the right direction.
Also, tonight’s episode was classic with the two minute date. Sure, you might not be able to get that to work so flawlessly in real life but in terms of turning a no into a yes it is probably a great move. Plus, I loved the fact that it showed that trying all of the games and schemes failed miserably mainly because I can’t pull them off. Maybe if I just be who I am then things will work out. Wow, be myself. That idea is so crazy it just might work.
Oh, and Brit’s performance tonight? Not bad. She didn’t set the set on fire or anything. I’m speaking literally here as in the fire department was not called in. It was a pretty harmless guest spot, she didn’t blow a line or seem completely out of it and if you ignored everything that has happened in the past few years it would seem pretty inconsequential. For her, this can be considered progress.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
A Lost Weekend
I’ve lost a few weekends in my time. This one was slightly different as they say in Clerks “I wasn’t even supposed to be here today!” Or at least, I was supposed to be here now but I wasn’t supposed to be here yesterday. Let me explain all of the strange things that can happen in a weekend where you barely leave your apartment.
See, I was supposed to go home for Easter this weekend. While writing the blog Thursday night I felt a little off but just figured that I was tired. On Friday I figured out that that wasn’t the case as I was completely out of it (apologies to people who dealt with me or received emails from me if they made less sense than normal, a frightening thought). Just tired, congested and not looking forward at all to trying to fly into Chicago where they were getting a half a foot of snow. Called home and my parents and I decided that it would be best for me to stay home and get better as opposed to fly home for 24 hours, catch everyone else’s cold, and not enjoy myself. I’ll be back soon for my nephew’s birthday where my newly acquired free time will come in handy.
Plus, if my medical misadventures over the past six months have taught me anything it is that I have to listen to my body. Otherwise, I will once again find myself lying on the floor wondering (in order) a) who am I, b) where am I, and c) is that my blood? (People wonder why I’m in the midst of completely changing my life. Coming to on the bathroom floor staring at a puddle of your own blood does make you question the current state of your life. True, it was just a fainting spell and a bloody nose but it was scary as hell for a few moments.)
So instead of going to the airport I went home, grabbed a blanket, and passed out on my couch for five hours. I can’t say that I watched the basketball games. More like I was aware that they were going on and would occasionally make the effort to listen if not watch. I somehow spent much of Friday night watching CSPAN listening to Chalmers Johnson discuss the downfall of the American republic. It was a fascinating thing to watch, especially on cold medications, and made me sit down to write an essay called “What Worries Me”. I almost posted it but it is obviously not one of my unicorns and rainbows postings. If you want to see what happens when I peer into the dark corners of my soul (or to see if it as well written as I think it is) let me know and I’ll post it.
(Surprisingly, there are some things about my life that I don’t share. I admire the people who are braver than me in that regard.)
After all of that I go to bed, fall asleep for an hour and am woken up by a) longtime friend of the blog Erik calling me to discuss the current status of my life and b) the couple in the apartment next to mine having, oh how can I explain it, well let’s just say that they were having a lot more fun than I was having at that moment. Remind me that at some point in time I really need to buy a house or get an apartment with thicker walls.
Saturday was more of the same. More time on the couch. Didn’t even have the energy to swear mightily at the television as Duke threw away another season. I’d be more upset except that this is the second straight year where I didn’t like the team. They do seem like arrogant pricks but at least guys like Laettner and Hurley had the talent to back it up. I don’t even like the style of basketball they play anymore. It’s not very smooth. Not as bad as Wisconsin, who are just brutal to watch even when they win, but it doesn’t have the fun of the old teams. Notre Dame went off and got destroyed and my bracket is in ruins (I’m 102 in a 110 person pool last time I checked).
Finally felt like myself when I woke up this morning. Still a little bit of a sore throat but I no longer want to curl under a blanket and hide for the entire day. Not sure what I caught or if it was just all of the late nights and stress catching up to me. This weekend was the first time that it really hit me that after Friday I don’t have a job and I have no idea when I’m going to get another one. That’s starting to scare me. I don’t want to then jump at the first person who waves a paycheck in my face but I don’t know what is going to happen when I have free time. Maybe I’ll be productive, maybe I’ll get into some mischief, who knows. For once, I’m curious to see what happens next in my own life. We’re off the script, people.
Best of 120 Minutes: One of my favorite phrases to use about my life is “I’ve lost the plot.” I’m not sure if this is the original source of that line for me but it is close enough. At least whenever I say it I hear Tanya Donnelly singing it. Here we go, back to the days when Belly was on the cutting edge of music. Sigh. I miss Tanya. She was so cool.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Drive-By Truckers “The Dirty South”
2) Tori Amos “Under the Pink”
3) Alejandro Escovedo “Thirteen Years”
4) Gram Parsons “GP/Grievous Angel”
5) Laura Cantrell “When the Roses Bloom Again”
See, I was supposed to go home for Easter this weekend. While writing the blog Thursday night I felt a little off but just figured that I was tired. On Friday I figured out that that wasn’t the case as I was completely out of it (apologies to people who dealt with me or received emails from me if they made less sense than normal, a frightening thought). Just tired, congested and not looking forward at all to trying to fly into Chicago where they were getting a half a foot of snow. Called home and my parents and I decided that it would be best for me to stay home and get better as opposed to fly home for 24 hours, catch everyone else’s cold, and not enjoy myself. I’ll be back soon for my nephew’s birthday where my newly acquired free time will come in handy.
Plus, if my medical misadventures over the past six months have taught me anything it is that I have to listen to my body. Otherwise, I will once again find myself lying on the floor wondering (in order) a) who am I, b) where am I, and c) is that my blood? (People wonder why I’m in the midst of completely changing my life. Coming to on the bathroom floor staring at a puddle of your own blood does make you question the current state of your life. True, it was just a fainting spell and a bloody nose but it was scary as hell for a few moments.)
So instead of going to the airport I went home, grabbed a blanket, and passed out on my couch for five hours. I can’t say that I watched the basketball games. More like I was aware that they were going on and would occasionally make the effort to listen if not watch. I somehow spent much of Friday night watching CSPAN listening to Chalmers Johnson discuss the downfall of the American republic. It was a fascinating thing to watch, especially on cold medications, and made me sit down to write an essay called “What Worries Me”. I almost posted it but it is obviously not one of my unicorns and rainbows postings. If you want to see what happens when I peer into the dark corners of my soul (or to see if it as well written as I think it is) let me know and I’ll post it.
(Surprisingly, there are some things about my life that I don’t share. I admire the people who are braver than me in that regard.)
After all of that I go to bed, fall asleep for an hour and am woken up by a) longtime friend of the blog Erik calling me to discuss the current status of my life and b) the couple in the apartment next to mine having, oh how can I explain it, well let’s just say that they were having a lot more fun than I was having at that moment. Remind me that at some point in time I really need to buy a house or get an apartment with thicker walls.
Saturday was more of the same. More time on the couch. Didn’t even have the energy to swear mightily at the television as Duke threw away another season. I’d be more upset except that this is the second straight year where I didn’t like the team. They do seem like arrogant pricks but at least guys like Laettner and Hurley had the talent to back it up. I don’t even like the style of basketball they play anymore. It’s not very smooth. Not as bad as Wisconsin, who are just brutal to watch even when they win, but it doesn’t have the fun of the old teams. Notre Dame went off and got destroyed and my bracket is in ruins (I’m 102 in a 110 person pool last time I checked).
Finally felt like myself when I woke up this morning. Still a little bit of a sore throat but I no longer want to curl under a blanket and hide for the entire day. Not sure what I caught or if it was just all of the late nights and stress catching up to me. This weekend was the first time that it really hit me that after Friday I don’t have a job and I have no idea when I’m going to get another one. That’s starting to scare me. I don’t want to then jump at the first person who waves a paycheck in my face but I don’t know what is going to happen when I have free time. Maybe I’ll be productive, maybe I’ll get into some mischief, who knows. For once, I’m curious to see what happens next in my own life. We’re off the script, people.
Best of 120 Minutes: One of my favorite phrases to use about my life is “I’ve lost the plot.” I’m not sure if this is the original source of that line for me but it is close enough. At least whenever I say it I hear Tanya Donnelly singing it. Here we go, back to the days when Belly was on the cutting edge of music. Sigh. I miss Tanya. She was so cool.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Drive-By Truckers “The Dirty South”
2) Tori Amos “Under the Pink”
3) Alejandro Escovedo “Thirteen Years”
4) Gram Parsons “GP/Grievous Angel”
5) Laura Cantrell “When the Roses Bloom Again”
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Though I'd prefer four desert island discs and the woman of my dreams...
As the strains of Uncle Tupelo’s “Anodyne” close out the annual March 16-20 celebration I’ll take some time to answer a few more questions that have come my way.
Question: Ok, so we can guess that Uncle Tupelo’s “Anodyne” is one of your five desert island discs. What are the other four?
Answer: Always a good question. I could listen to Anodyne forever (though I want the two bonus tracks and would beg and plead for Sandusky to be included from March 16-20, 1992. That is the one track I listen to when I need to recenter myself.) I’ve finally broken down and chosen R.E.M.’s “Reckoning” over “Murmur”. Murmur is a better album and so indecipherable that it would make the time go by quicker but I just enjoy listening to “Reckoning” a lot more. It’s not even a good album; it’s just fun to listen to. Add in Beth Orton’s “Comfort of Strangers” and The Frames “Set List” for two discs that just make me artistic and jubilant, respectively.
The last one? Kelly Willis “What I Deserve”. The title track still puts a chill down my spine every time I hear Kelly sing “I don’t believe that I will be saved.” There was a year or two of my life where the only thing that got me through the day was listening to this disc. I honestly wouldn’t know what I would have done without it. I’ll close out No Depression week with Kelly and yes, for those people who are my “friend” on Facebook this is the woman with her arm around me in my profile photo. What can I say? Sometimes I totally rule.
Question: How are you reacting to being down to your last week in the office?
Answer: Pretty well I think. At my going away happy hour people actually commented on the fact that I was smiling which I hate to say has not been one of my standard emotions recently. I should probably try to clear that one up. Maybe the best way to say it is that the past year or so at work has really worn me out mentally and as a result the punk rock kid in me was unleashed more often than not. It made me anti-social and I regret that that was the case. But I’m in a better head space now and boy do I appreciate it.
But it is still weird sitting around going this is really it. Just one more set of weekly reports to go, a few processes to document and hand off and then it is hand in my badge and saunter out the door. I’m not sure if it will really hit me until I pack up the cubicle and take down my Dilbert cartoons. I’ve had these cartoons up since I was in college and when they move it really tells me that this part of my life will be over.
Question: Any ideas on what the next phase of your life is going to be?
Answer: I still have absolutely no clue. I’m kind of viewing this as my sabbatical. Take some time off to decompress and reassess my life and how I’m leading it. I hate to say that I’m having a mid-life crisis because I’m only 34 and the doctors tend to give me a clean bill of health. But I really am not sure what I want to do with myself. Whatever my next step is, I really want it to be the right one.
Question: So are you going to go ahead and write your book already?
Answer: Yes, I might as well make the official announcement. April will mark the official start of my first book “Tawdry Amusements at Reasonable Prices” (or at Hourly Rates, I haven’t decided which is funnier). This will be a combination of the best of the blog (rewritten and cleaned up as need be), older pieces that have never left my laptop, and new material that was never meant for the blog. It’ll be the usual combination of humor and pop culture and reflections on my life. I’m still not sure what shape it will take but I’m confident that there are 60,000 words out there in some order that I can use.
Question: But what about the novel? Isn’t your dream to write a novel?
Answer: It is and I will, most likely as part of National Novel Writers Month in November. “Until We Say Goodbye” has to be written but it is such a good story that I would hate to screw it up by just rushing into it. I need to outline and plan and do all of those things and I just haven’t done that yet. Depending on how my life goes I might get started on it earlier but right now I think I can do the story collection in a month or two. I even have an editor (God bless her soul) who volunteered to proofread my manuscript.
Question: Isn’t she the same person who threatened to stop reading your emails until you learned the difference between there, they’re and their?
Answer: Yes it is. I’m kind of dreading the first edit. I’m expecting my laptop to throw up an error message saying “Cannot show that many shades of red at once.”
Question: So any posts to look forward to in your last week?
Answer: Yes. The “things I regret not doing at my job” is going to be pretty epic. Even I’m looking forward to it.
Have a great weekend everyone.
Question: Ok, so we can guess that Uncle Tupelo’s “Anodyne” is one of your five desert island discs. What are the other four?
Answer: Always a good question. I could listen to Anodyne forever (though I want the two bonus tracks and would beg and plead for Sandusky to be included from March 16-20, 1992. That is the one track I listen to when I need to recenter myself.) I’ve finally broken down and chosen R.E.M.’s “Reckoning” over “Murmur”. Murmur is a better album and so indecipherable that it would make the time go by quicker but I just enjoy listening to “Reckoning” a lot more. It’s not even a good album; it’s just fun to listen to. Add in Beth Orton’s “Comfort of Strangers” and The Frames “Set List” for two discs that just make me artistic and jubilant, respectively.
The last one? Kelly Willis “What I Deserve”. The title track still puts a chill down my spine every time I hear Kelly sing “I don’t believe that I will be saved.” There was a year or two of my life where the only thing that got me through the day was listening to this disc. I honestly wouldn’t know what I would have done without it. I’ll close out No Depression week with Kelly and yes, for those people who are my “friend” on Facebook this is the woman with her arm around me in my profile photo. What can I say? Sometimes I totally rule.
Question: How are you reacting to being down to your last week in the office?
Answer: Pretty well I think. At my going away happy hour people actually commented on the fact that I was smiling which I hate to say has not been one of my standard emotions recently. I should probably try to clear that one up. Maybe the best way to say it is that the past year or so at work has really worn me out mentally and as a result the punk rock kid in me was unleashed more often than not. It made me anti-social and I regret that that was the case. But I’m in a better head space now and boy do I appreciate it.
But it is still weird sitting around going this is really it. Just one more set of weekly reports to go, a few processes to document and hand off and then it is hand in my badge and saunter out the door. I’m not sure if it will really hit me until I pack up the cubicle and take down my Dilbert cartoons. I’ve had these cartoons up since I was in college and when they move it really tells me that this part of my life will be over.
Question: Any ideas on what the next phase of your life is going to be?
Answer: I still have absolutely no clue. I’m kind of viewing this as my sabbatical. Take some time off to decompress and reassess my life and how I’m leading it. I hate to say that I’m having a mid-life crisis because I’m only 34 and the doctors tend to give me a clean bill of health. But I really am not sure what I want to do with myself. Whatever my next step is, I really want it to be the right one.
Question: So are you going to go ahead and write your book already?
Answer: Yes, I might as well make the official announcement. April will mark the official start of my first book “Tawdry Amusements at Reasonable Prices” (or at Hourly Rates, I haven’t decided which is funnier). This will be a combination of the best of the blog (rewritten and cleaned up as need be), older pieces that have never left my laptop, and new material that was never meant for the blog. It’ll be the usual combination of humor and pop culture and reflections on my life. I’m still not sure what shape it will take but I’m confident that there are 60,000 words out there in some order that I can use.
Question: But what about the novel? Isn’t your dream to write a novel?
Answer: It is and I will, most likely as part of National Novel Writers Month in November. “Until We Say Goodbye” has to be written but it is such a good story that I would hate to screw it up by just rushing into it. I need to outline and plan and do all of those things and I just haven’t done that yet. Depending on how my life goes I might get started on it earlier but right now I think I can do the story collection in a month or two. I even have an editor (God bless her soul) who volunteered to proofread my manuscript.
Question: Isn’t she the same person who threatened to stop reading your emails until you learned the difference between there, they’re and their?
Answer: Yes it is. I’m kind of dreading the first edit. I’m expecting my laptop to throw up an error message saying “Cannot show that many shades of red at once.”
Question: So any posts to look forward to in your last week?
Answer: Yes. The “things I regret not doing at my job” is going to be pretty epic. Even I’m looking forward to it.
Have a great weekend everyone.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
When in doubt, pick the team with the cooler mascot
While driving to work this morning I found myself behind a car with the license plate “DR RE”. I can only assume that this is Dr. Dre’s less talented younger brother who moved to KC to get as far away from the whole East Coast-West Coast drama as is humanly possible.
Ok, let’s run through the rest of the brackets and another installment of No Depression Week:
South Region: First off, I’m going to have to go with St. Mary’s in the first round. I mean, I certainly didn’t expect the Smickers to put together such a strong performance this year and the Belles should be able to take Miami. Wait, you mean there is another St. Mary’s? What the hell, go with them anyway because Miami never wins at basketball. Other big upset will be Temple over Michigan State due to the way the Spartans just collapsed against Wisconsin in a way that was just embarrassing.
There are a few other interesting first round matchups. You have Cornell, who are the Big Red despite the fact that their mascot is a bear, going up against Stanford in Nerd Bowl 2008. Take Stanford because they really are a bunch of dorks. I mean, their mascot is a color. What is their fight song “Cardinal is an awesome shade of red?” (This from an Illini whose fight song consists of drunkenly yelling “Oskee Wow Wow” at random moments.) Oral Roberts features MC 900 Foot Jesus, which would seem to be an advantage until you realize that it is rather difficult to drop a ball 890 feet into a hoop. Go with Pitt in that one.
Basically I have no faith in Memphis in this bracket. Calipari seems to be a guy who chokes as a big game coach and I don’t see this as any different. I see Pitt beating them to make the elite eight where they lose to a Texas team playing in Houston. I don’t like Texas either but I’m just going to ride home court advantage on this one.
Midwest Region: This is the region I will get to know well because it is all anyone in this damn town will talk about for the next few weeks. I’ll start with Kansas State whose somewhat silly use of purple as a uniform color is offset by the fact that their logo is borrowed from the Thundercats. Personally, I feel Panthro’s play in the low post will overcome Mumm-Ra’s outside shooting and get them through to the second round where they lose to a Wisconsin team that plays the type of basketball that makes you want to gouge your eyes out due to boredom.
My favorite team name in the tournament is the UMBC Retrievers for two reasons. 1) UMBC sounds like the name of a bank that just purchased your mortgage and 2) They must have the most non-threatening mascots in the history of the world. They should at least be the Fighting Retrievers or the Hounds from Hell or something like that. They’ll get slaughtered by the Hoyas, whose mascot is a bulldog even though a Hoya is a latin phrase. I’ve got two overlooked teams to watch for in this bracket: Clemson and Davidson. Both played Duke and Carolina incredibly tough and might make some noise.
But this bracket is all about Kansas and I’m torn here. On one hand, Kansas is by far the most talented and experienced team in this region. On the other hand, Bill Self is a traitor and a coward who turned his back on Illinois and will suffer karmically for that for the rest of his career. (Not that I’m bitter about that or anything). But more importantly, Self just can not win an important game and I just don’t see that changing this year. I’ve got to go with Georgetown. I expect hate mail over this one.
West Region: I’ll start with my Blue Devils. I said it during the Carolina game, this looks like a Duke squad that is going to lose in the Sweet Sixteen. They still don’t have a guy that I want with the ball in his hands during crunch time. I know this breaks my tradition but they will lose to Xavier. Hate to say it but I don’t know how they make the Final Four with this squad.
Easiest pick in the first round is West Virginia over Arizona again due to karma. I can’t cheer for a team whose coach has taken more time off to deal with his divorce than he did for the death of his wife. In a feel good story take Baylor over Purdue (feel good in that coaches are no longer telling players to lie to cover up a murder charge). And just one random question, do we really need a Western Kentucky? Don’t we have enough states already?
This is the only bracket I’m confident in. UCLA is the team to beat and there isn’t anyone in their draw that worries me. Some people are worried because they’ve gotten a ton of lucky breaks recently but that should just give them confidence. Also be wary of people who assume they can pull off a miracle.
Final Four: North Carolina over Georgetown and UCLA over Texas in games with better name recognition than actual gameplay. UCLA to take it all because it just feels right. And I’ll be damned if I’m going to pick North Carolina to win anything.
No Depression Week: Have to feature one of my favorite people in the world (and someone I would marry just so I could hear her voice every day) in Neko Case. I talk/post/rant about her awesomeness a lot and I find it completely justified. It is true that all of my business school applications were written while listening to her CDs. I just find her voice amazing in the way that it sounds like Patsy Cline if Patsy Cline had spent a lot of time hanging out with Nirvana. Plus, I actually met her a few times in Chicago and she is just incredibly cool and down to earth.
Ok, let’s run through the rest of the brackets and another installment of No Depression Week:
South Region: First off, I’m going to have to go with St. Mary’s in the first round. I mean, I certainly didn’t expect the Smickers to put together such a strong performance this year and the Belles should be able to take Miami. Wait, you mean there is another St. Mary’s? What the hell, go with them anyway because Miami never wins at basketball. Other big upset will be Temple over Michigan State due to the way the Spartans just collapsed against Wisconsin in a way that was just embarrassing.
There are a few other interesting first round matchups. You have Cornell, who are the Big Red despite the fact that their mascot is a bear, going up against Stanford in Nerd Bowl 2008. Take Stanford because they really are a bunch of dorks. I mean, their mascot is a color. What is their fight song “Cardinal is an awesome shade of red?” (This from an Illini whose fight song consists of drunkenly yelling “Oskee Wow Wow” at random moments.) Oral Roberts features MC 900 Foot Jesus, which would seem to be an advantage until you realize that it is rather difficult to drop a ball 890 feet into a hoop. Go with Pitt in that one.
Basically I have no faith in Memphis in this bracket. Calipari seems to be a guy who chokes as a big game coach and I don’t see this as any different. I see Pitt beating them to make the elite eight where they lose to a Texas team playing in Houston. I don’t like Texas either but I’m just going to ride home court advantage on this one.
Midwest Region: This is the region I will get to know well because it is all anyone in this damn town will talk about for the next few weeks. I’ll start with Kansas State whose somewhat silly use of purple as a uniform color is offset by the fact that their logo is borrowed from the Thundercats. Personally, I feel Panthro’s play in the low post will overcome Mumm-Ra’s outside shooting and get them through to the second round where they lose to a Wisconsin team that plays the type of basketball that makes you want to gouge your eyes out due to boredom.
My favorite team name in the tournament is the UMBC Retrievers for two reasons. 1) UMBC sounds like the name of a bank that just purchased your mortgage and 2) They must have the most non-threatening mascots in the history of the world. They should at least be the Fighting Retrievers or the Hounds from Hell or something like that. They’ll get slaughtered by the Hoyas, whose mascot is a bulldog even though a Hoya is a latin phrase. I’ve got two overlooked teams to watch for in this bracket: Clemson and Davidson. Both played Duke and Carolina incredibly tough and might make some noise.
But this bracket is all about Kansas and I’m torn here. On one hand, Kansas is by far the most talented and experienced team in this region. On the other hand, Bill Self is a traitor and a coward who turned his back on Illinois and will suffer karmically for that for the rest of his career. (Not that I’m bitter about that or anything). But more importantly, Self just can not win an important game and I just don’t see that changing this year. I’ve got to go with Georgetown. I expect hate mail over this one.
West Region: I’ll start with my Blue Devils. I said it during the Carolina game, this looks like a Duke squad that is going to lose in the Sweet Sixteen. They still don’t have a guy that I want with the ball in his hands during crunch time. I know this breaks my tradition but they will lose to Xavier. Hate to say it but I don’t know how they make the Final Four with this squad.
Easiest pick in the first round is West Virginia over Arizona again due to karma. I can’t cheer for a team whose coach has taken more time off to deal with his divorce than he did for the death of his wife. In a feel good story take Baylor over Purdue (feel good in that coaches are no longer telling players to lie to cover up a murder charge). And just one random question, do we really need a Western Kentucky? Don’t we have enough states already?
This is the only bracket I’m confident in. UCLA is the team to beat and there isn’t anyone in their draw that worries me. Some people are worried because they’ve gotten a ton of lucky breaks recently but that should just give them confidence. Also be wary of people who assume they can pull off a miracle.
Final Four: North Carolina over Georgetown and UCLA over Texas in games with better name recognition than actual gameplay. UCLA to take it all because it just feels right. And I’ll be damned if I’m going to pick North Carolina to win anything.
No Depression Week: Have to feature one of my favorite people in the world (and someone I would marry just so I could hear her voice every day) in Neko Case. I talk/post/rant about her awesomeness a lot and I find it completely justified. It is true that all of my business school applications were written while listening to her CDs. I just find her voice amazing in the way that it sounds like Patsy Cline if Patsy Cline had spent a lot of time hanging out with Nirvana. Plus, I actually met her a few times in Chicago and she is just incredibly cool and down to earth.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Topics that may not be, in fact, topical
Starting note: For those of you who work with me (or have worked with me) in that large collection of buildings somewhere in Kansas I just want to remind you that my leaving work happy hour is Wednesday night. Please stop by because it would be really, really sad if I was the only one there. Not as sad as the time when everyone in the building was sent home early due to snow except no one bothered to tell me and I didn’t notice until I took off my headphones and realized that no one else was around. (That’s a true story, by the way). Anyway, email me if you need the details. To prevent confusion, this is not to be confused with my Trivia Victory Lap or Last Night in KC celebrations. Both of those will take place once I figure out where life is taking me next and I’ll be sure to let everyone know.
(Looks like I’ll be here until June if just to see the greatest concert double bill ever: Chicago and the Doobie Brothers. I’m not kidding, I got an email about this today. Kansas City, now only 28 years behind the times.)
Comment on the last post: “Think of it as monetizing your desire to be taken seriously as a potential suitor”
Finally, advice that actually makes sense to me! Why hasn’t anyone used financing analogies before in offering me relationship advice? I understand discount rates; can’t we frame the discussion in those terms as opposed to all of these vague terms like “emotions” and “attraction”? Could I just go up to a woman and say, “Trust me, you’ll be duly impressed by my cash flow” and just leave it at that? Then break out a detailed spreadsheet to seal the deal? I can at least dream, can’t I?
Here is a reason why I am looking forward to unemployment in two weeks. So I went out last night for St. Patrick’s Day but had to leave early because I had a 9 AM meeting that I had to be functional for. In some ways that is a good thing (because I probably shouldn’t be spending Monday night in a bar) but in many more ways that is a horrible thing (because it is friggin St. Patrick’s Day, the one day where I can wear all my Notre Dame gear with pride and have a blast.) Get to work this morning, more bitter than hungover, check my email and find out that the meeting had been cancelled. Which would have been great information to have, I don’t know, last night! So I screwed over my social life for a meeting that didn’t exist in a job I’m quitting. Luckily unemployment will give me control over my schedule again. Sure, all I will do is watch daytime tv but damn it, my hand will be on the remote.
Ok, I want to analyze each region in the NCAA tournament but I’ve already hit a lot of topics tonight so I’ll just do the East Regional tonight and I’ll catch the other three tomorrow.
East Region: This bracket features my three most hated teams in existence as well as the one I will be actively cheering for. My Irish pulled a five seed, which is about right, and I can see them getting past George Mason and then Winthrop, who I’m picking mainly because I think the team is comprised of snooty English butlers. They might not have the hops of some of the other teams but they play a rather refined style of basketball.
Indiana is led by the traitor Eric Gordon who was fouled by Illinois during the pre-game introductions. They’ll get past Arkansas but then collapse because, well, they are Indiana, that’s what they do. In some other first round upsets I’d take South Alabama over Butler because the game is in Birmingham and St. Joe’s over Oklahoma because I believe that there is only one basketball in the entire state of Oklahoma.
Really this is a two team bracket. North Carolina is led by Tyler Hansborough, who looks that frat guy in college who spent his entire time in English 101 discussing how awesome their Barn Dance was going to be. I’m not encouraging anyone to give him a hard foul. I’d prefer a steel chair to the skull. Tennessee is coached by Bruce Pearl who along with Bono is most responsible for my crappy college experience. (Bruce Pearl snitched on the Illini and put us on probation while U2 cancelled a concert and cost me a date because apparently St. Bono didn’t want me to score.) Personally, I’ll be cheering for American in their first round against the Volunteers because, well, it would be un-American otherwise. It sickens me to say that Pearl, who shouldn’t even be allowed on a college campus much less coach, will get this team to the final eight and then North Carolina and their crappy uniforms will make the Final Four.
No Depression Week: If there is a current poster child for No Depression and all of its good and bad qualities it would be Ryan Adams. He is alternately a genius and a complete screw up depending on how he feels at the time. Starting with Whiskeytown he has written some amazing music that spans from pure country to hard edged rock. He also has screwed up relationships with Parker Posey, Beth Orton, My Beloved Lindsay, Winona Ryder and probably a dozen that I have forgotten by now. Judge his genius for yourself with “Come Lift Me Up” from Letterman. Performance would have been better if they would have kept in the swearing.
(Looks like I’ll be here until June if just to see the greatest concert double bill ever: Chicago and the Doobie Brothers. I’m not kidding, I got an email about this today. Kansas City, now only 28 years behind the times.)
Comment on the last post: “Think of it as monetizing your desire to be taken seriously as a potential suitor”
Finally, advice that actually makes sense to me! Why hasn’t anyone used financing analogies before in offering me relationship advice? I understand discount rates; can’t we frame the discussion in those terms as opposed to all of these vague terms like “emotions” and “attraction”? Could I just go up to a woman and say, “Trust me, you’ll be duly impressed by my cash flow” and just leave it at that? Then break out a detailed spreadsheet to seal the deal? I can at least dream, can’t I?
Here is a reason why I am looking forward to unemployment in two weeks. So I went out last night for St. Patrick’s Day but had to leave early because I had a 9 AM meeting that I had to be functional for. In some ways that is a good thing (because I probably shouldn’t be spending Monday night in a bar) but in many more ways that is a horrible thing (because it is friggin St. Patrick’s Day, the one day where I can wear all my Notre Dame gear with pride and have a blast.) Get to work this morning, more bitter than hungover, check my email and find out that the meeting had been cancelled. Which would have been great information to have, I don’t know, last night! So I screwed over my social life for a meeting that didn’t exist in a job I’m quitting. Luckily unemployment will give me control over my schedule again. Sure, all I will do is watch daytime tv but damn it, my hand will be on the remote.
Ok, I want to analyze each region in the NCAA tournament but I’ve already hit a lot of topics tonight so I’ll just do the East Regional tonight and I’ll catch the other three tomorrow.
East Region: This bracket features my three most hated teams in existence as well as the one I will be actively cheering for. My Irish pulled a five seed, which is about right, and I can see them getting past George Mason and then Winthrop, who I’m picking mainly because I think the team is comprised of snooty English butlers. They might not have the hops of some of the other teams but they play a rather refined style of basketball.
Indiana is led by the traitor Eric Gordon who was fouled by Illinois during the pre-game introductions. They’ll get past Arkansas but then collapse because, well, they are Indiana, that’s what they do. In some other first round upsets I’d take South Alabama over Butler because the game is in Birmingham and St. Joe’s over Oklahoma because I believe that there is only one basketball in the entire state of Oklahoma.
Really this is a two team bracket. North Carolina is led by Tyler Hansborough, who looks that frat guy in college who spent his entire time in English 101 discussing how awesome their Barn Dance was going to be. I’m not encouraging anyone to give him a hard foul. I’d prefer a steel chair to the skull. Tennessee is coached by Bruce Pearl who along with Bono is most responsible for my crappy college experience. (Bruce Pearl snitched on the Illini and put us on probation while U2 cancelled a concert and cost me a date because apparently St. Bono didn’t want me to score.) Personally, I’ll be cheering for American in their first round against the Volunteers because, well, it would be un-American otherwise. It sickens me to say that Pearl, who shouldn’t even be allowed on a college campus much less coach, will get this team to the final eight and then North Carolina and their crappy uniforms will make the Final Four.
No Depression Week: If there is a current poster child for No Depression and all of its good and bad qualities it would be Ryan Adams. He is alternately a genius and a complete screw up depending on how he feels at the time. Starting with Whiskeytown he has written some amazing music that spans from pure country to hard edged rock. He also has screwed up relationships with Parker Posey, Beth Orton, My Beloved Lindsay, Winona Ryder and probably a dozen that I have forgotten by now. Judge his genius for yourself with “Come Lift Me Up” from Letterman. Performance would have been better if they would have kept in the swearing.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Say Anything in an iPod Age
I should just be excused from having to write on St. Patrick’s Day. I mean, this is totally unfair. Many of my friends are bartenders. Not only do I live down the block from a bar but I am able to, on the busiest day of the year, get waved in to avoid the cover, be given a coveted seat at the bar and get free drinks. Sometimes membership has its privileges. Anyway, I’m just going to apologize in advance if this post contains misspellings, grammatical missteps, or paragraphs that end with my drooling into the keyboard. It’s been one of those nights…
However, I did prepare for this eventuality by writing down a topic this morning. Here is reason number 257 as to why technological progress is a bad thing: the loss of the Say Anything move.
If you are a Gen X’er like myself then the Say Anything move is the backbone of our romantic arsenal. Despite the fact that no one in the history of the planet has ever been able to successfully pull off the move we all believe that this very act will cause the woman of our dreams to forget all of her misgivings and fall madly in love with us (well me but I’ll use the plural here). For those who have forgotten this legendary scene from the late 80’s John Cusack, at the end of his romantic rope, determines that the only way to truly express his emotions for Ione Skye is by standing outside of her house holding a boombox over his head blaring Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes.” If you are my age this is an unforgettable moment.
(If you are in college right now and read that sentence your response would be “What the fuck is an Ione Skye?” Damn kids, know nothing about history.)
(Oh and yes, I do consider myself to look like John Cusack if he had forgotten to put in his contacts and had slightly too much to drink. It’s not a bad thing.)
So while I have lived my entire life with the belief that this is all I would need to do to seal the deal it has dawned on me that this scene does not translate to the modern age. Let’s start with the boombox. They don’t exist anymore. Certainly none with tape decks and even if you did find one with a tape deck no one actually sells cassettes anymore. So I’m now down to standing outside her window trying to play my iPod really, really loudly. (Yeah, I own a Zune but if I’m going to make this big, last ditch effort to win someone’s heart I might as well try to look cool while simultaneously being incredibly foolish.)
Given that she probably won’t be able to hear it through my headphones I am now down to trying to find one of those stereo systems where you drop in your iPod. That’s great but I don’t know of any that are battery powered so I’ll have to run an extension cord to her house. So, right now I am trying to hold up an iPod and two speakers that are being powered by a bright orange extension cord that is running through her lawn.
Now what’s worse is that I can’t just go out and use Peter Gabriel all over again. That wouldn’t show any creativity on my part. But because of the death of popular music I can’t express my emotions through a hit song anymore. Somehow I just don’t think that Justin Timberlake or Blake Lewis can adequately express the depth of my emotions. Knowing me I would be blaring an Arcade Fire song, which might not be romantic but would at least sound cool.
So I would like to thank technology for completely screwing over the only way I know of expressing myself to women. All I can think of now is to just send her an mp3 and save myself the whole “where can I find a boombox” issue. Where’s the fun in that? How can I risk being made a fool of not just in front of the girl of my dreams but a large number of random strangers who will be very upset with my waking them up with “Keep the Car Running” at five in the morning? Next thing you know people will be recommending that I express my emotions by actually telling the girl that I care about her. Yeah, like that’s going to work…
No Depression Week: Last fall, when I momentarily thought I had met the girl of my dreams, I had the opportunity to try to win her heart through a music recommendation. My choice was Josh Ritter, an incredibly talented singer-songwriter from Idaho who writes what can only be described as poetry. The choice was brilliant as she went out and bought his CDs. My follow through left a little (ok, a lot) to be desired. I promise you, I’ll always pay for dinner from now on. That said, please listen to this track just so you can see how incredible this guy is. This is what the No Depression scene was all about, just a guy with a guitar and incredible lyrics.
However, I did prepare for this eventuality by writing down a topic this morning. Here is reason number 257 as to why technological progress is a bad thing: the loss of the Say Anything move.
If you are a Gen X’er like myself then the Say Anything move is the backbone of our romantic arsenal. Despite the fact that no one in the history of the planet has ever been able to successfully pull off the move we all believe that this very act will cause the woman of our dreams to forget all of her misgivings and fall madly in love with us (well me but I’ll use the plural here). For those who have forgotten this legendary scene from the late 80’s John Cusack, at the end of his romantic rope, determines that the only way to truly express his emotions for Ione Skye is by standing outside of her house holding a boombox over his head blaring Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes.” If you are my age this is an unforgettable moment.
(If you are in college right now and read that sentence your response would be “What the fuck is an Ione Skye?” Damn kids, know nothing about history.)
(Oh and yes, I do consider myself to look like John Cusack if he had forgotten to put in his contacts and had slightly too much to drink. It’s not a bad thing.)
So while I have lived my entire life with the belief that this is all I would need to do to seal the deal it has dawned on me that this scene does not translate to the modern age. Let’s start with the boombox. They don’t exist anymore. Certainly none with tape decks and even if you did find one with a tape deck no one actually sells cassettes anymore. So I’m now down to standing outside her window trying to play my iPod really, really loudly. (Yeah, I own a Zune but if I’m going to make this big, last ditch effort to win someone’s heart I might as well try to look cool while simultaneously being incredibly foolish.)
Given that she probably won’t be able to hear it through my headphones I am now down to trying to find one of those stereo systems where you drop in your iPod. That’s great but I don’t know of any that are battery powered so I’ll have to run an extension cord to her house. So, right now I am trying to hold up an iPod and two speakers that are being powered by a bright orange extension cord that is running through her lawn.
Now what’s worse is that I can’t just go out and use Peter Gabriel all over again. That wouldn’t show any creativity on my part. But because of the death of popular music I can’t express my emotions through a hit song anymore. Somehow I just don’t think that Justin Timberlake or Blake Lewis can adequately express the depth of my emotions. Knowing me I would be blaring an Arcade Fire song, which might not be romantic but would at least sound cool.
So I would like to thank technology for completely screwing over the only way I know of expressing myself to women. All I can think of now is to just send her an mp3 and save myself the whole “where can I find a boombox” issue. Where’s the fun in that? How can I risk being made a fool of not just in front of the girl of my dreams but a large number of random strangers who will be very upset with my waking them up with “Keep the Car Running” at five in the morning? Next thing you know people will be recommending that I express my emotions by actually telling the girl that I care about her. Yeah, like that’s going to work…
No Depression Week: Last fall, when I momentarily thought I had met the girl of my dreams, I had the opportunity to try to win her heart through a music recommendation. My choice was Josh Ritter, an incredibly talented singer-songwriter from Idaho who writes what can only be described as poetry. The choice was brilliant as she went out and bought his CDs. My follow through left a little (ok, a lot) to be desired. I promise you, I’ll always pay for dinner from now on. That said, please listen to this track just so you can see how incredible this guy is. This is what the No Depression scene was all about, just a guy with a guitar and incredible lyrics.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Don't mind me, I'm just the guy at the end of the bar
Here might be the best example of what type of employee (and person) I am. I spent two hours tonight designing spreadsheets for a job (and a company) that I will be leaving in two weeks. It shows my dedication to my craft, how I always finish the job and that I care too much about what happens in the office. It also shows that I have nothing else to do and prefer crafting incredibly intricate spreadsheets to watching bad television. Oh well, the future will come soon enough where life will no longer consist entirely of Excel documents.
It’s been an odd little weekend. Some of that is my fault and other parts just seemed to happen. Things started off great on Saturday as I had a great treadmill workout. It was one of those times when you felt that you could keep the same pace up for another hour and not even blink. Got the oil changed on my car, picked up some CDs (Kathleen Edwards awesome new disc being one of them), and simply stayed productive all afternoon. I even watched another hour of A History of Britain, which has somehow become a Saturday evening ritual for me.
Somehow this all led to my spending hours cleaning my apartment on Saturday night. That’s not entirely the way that I wanted to spend the night. I’m supposed to have this entire carefree lifestyle but occasionally I have to deal with the fact that dishes are supposed to get washed as opposed to pile up until they spill out onto all available countertops. I also made a half hearted attempt at reorganizing my bookshelves, which is now at the point where I should just give up and wait until I move to figure out what I’m going to do with my library. At least the CD collection is by artist. My books are more by wherever I had space at the time.
I did go out late Saturday night and I had…well, it was my typical interesting experience. It took me a little while but I got my usual stool at Harry’s where I can joke with the staff and watch the world go by while I think through some things. One great story from the night. So I was sitting around drinking and thinking and these two girls come in who a) know the staff, b) look vaguely familiar and c) are extremely drunk in the “I’m just going to lean on the nearest stable object for balance” sense of the term. Well, for one girl, that stable object was me.
Now some people would think that I would have a problem with this. Random person in my personal space when all I’m doing is minding my own business. The thing is this is precisely why I go out. Fun story started by people who are clearly enjoying themselves. I ended up talking to her for a while or at least as much as one can talk to someone who will clearly not remember the conversation in the morning. At one point she ended up just lying her head on my shoulder and I’ll have to say it was pretty cool. It was bizarre and unusual and that’s what I want in my life. I’ll leave normalcy for the masses; I’ll take the unique.
Of course I imbibed a little too much and suffered for it today. Workout sucked, grocery shopping was even less enjoyable than usual and I still haven’t finished doing all of my laundry. Oh, and the Illini lost. At least tomorrow is St. Patrick’s Day. Who knows what will happen to me tomorrow.
No Depression Week: We’ll start the week with the band that named the genre: Uncle Tupelo. “Chickamauga” is my favorite Uncle Tupelo song and probably my favorite song of all time. It certainly has my favorite lyric (and what has become a motto of sorts for me) “Catch yourself in midair thinking your dreams can never be bought.” I could listen to this every day and never grow tired of it.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Whiskeytown “Pneumonia”
2) Jay Farrar “Sebastopol”
3) Vedera “The Weight of an Empty Room”
4) U2 “War”
5) The Subdudes “Miracle Mule”
It’s been an odd little weekend. Some of that is my fault and other parts just seemed to happen. Things started off great on Saturday as I had a great treadmill workout. It was one of those times when you felt that you could keep the same pace up for another hour and not even blink. Got the oil changed on my car, picked up some CDs (Kathleen Edwards awesome new disc being one of them), and simply stayed productive all afternoon. I even watched another hour of A History of Britain, which has somehow become a Saturday evening ritual for me.
Somehow this all led to my spending hours cleaning my apartment on Saturday night. That’s not entirely the way that I wanted to spend the night. I’m supposed to have this entire carefree lifestyle but occasionally I have to deal with the fact that dishes are supposed to get washed as opposed to pile up until they spill out onto all available countertops. I also made a half hearted attempt at reorganizing my bookshelves, which is now at the point where I should just give up and wait until I move to figure out what I’m going to do with my library. At least the CD collection is by artist. My books are more by wherever I had space at the time.
I did go out late Saturday night and I had…well, it was my typical interesting experience. It took me a little while but I got my usual stool at Harry’s where I can joke with the staff and watch the world go by while I think through some things. One great story from the night. So I was sitting around drinking and thinking and these two girls come in who a) know the staff, b) look vaguely familiar and c) are extremely drunk in the “I’m just going to lean on the nearest stable object for balance” sense of the term. Well, for one girl, that stable object was me.
Now some people would think that I would have a problem with this. Random person in my personal space when all I’m doing is minding my own business. The thing is this is precisely why I go out. Fun story started by people who are clearly enjoying themselves. I ended up talking to her for a while or at least as much as one can talk to someone who will clearly not remember the conversation in the morning. At one point she ended up just lying her head on my shoulder and I’ll have to say it was pretty cool. It was bizarre and unusual and that’s what I want in my life. I’ll leave normalcy for the masses; I’ll take the unique.
Of course I imbibed a little too much and suffered for it today. Workout sucked, grocery shopping was even less enjoyable than usual and I still haven’t finished doing all of my laundry. Oh, and the Illini lost. At least tomorrow is St. Patrick’s Day. Who knows what will happen to me tomorrow.
No Depression Week: We’ll start the week with the band that named the genre: Uncle Tupelo. “Chickamauga” is my favorite Uncle Tupelo song and probably my favorite song of all time. It certainly has my favorite lyric (and what has become a motto of sorts for me) “Catch yourself in midair thinking your dreams can never be bought.” I could listen to this every day and never grow tired of it.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Whiskeytown “Pneumonia”
2) Jay Farrar “Sebastopol”
3) Vedera “The Weight of an Empty Room”
4) U2 “War”
5) The Subdudes “Miracle Mule”
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Questions, we've got questions
I’ll end the week with another installment of Infrequently Asked Questions (also known as “I have no idea of a topic right about now”)
Question: So what are your plans for St. Patrick’s Day?
Answer: Working. Yes, that is a sad answer and it is the first time I’ll be working on the big day in many a year. I’ll still go out (and I’m hoping to take off from work a little early) but it’s not an all day event like it has been in the past for me. I’ve described New Year’s Eve as amateur night while I’m a grizzled veteran. Well, let’s say that right now I’m the guy recovering from Tommy John surgery hoping that he’ll have just enough left in the tank when he returns to make the Hall of Fame ballot. I’ve only got a limited number of innings left in me and I have to use them wisely.
Question: Since you’ve answered the age old Ginger vs. Mary Ann question let’s go to the next obvious one, which of the Facts of Life girls would you choose?
Answer: Yowzers. This should be a question for psychological profiling. I’m tempted to go with Jo here just because she could probably change the oil on my car for me. But I’m going to cheat and say I’ll find which school Molly Ringwald transferred to after the first season and see if she is still around.
Question: How long do you think you will last without a job before going completely out of your mind from boredom?
Answer: I’m guessing I’ll be able to make it to Thursday. At that point I will probably be cataloguing my socks in excel in an attempt to do something productive (and trust me, in my mind that would be productive). That’s why I’ll end up writing a book; I’m going to have to do something to fill up the hours.
Question: Speaking of writing, any changes to the blog publishing schedule because of all of this?
Answer: None that I plan on. I’ll still post Sunday through Thursday. Only thing that might change is that I might not keep to the “always in the late evening” schedule that I’ve had for the past four years. In a perfect world I’d be writing earlier in the day while I’m wide awake. Instead I have a feeling that given no set schedule I’m going to return to my night owl tendencies so there may be some late night posts. I just see myself doing job search in the morning and writing in the evening with fun somewhere in between.
Question: Toast always lands butter side down. Cats always land on their feet. If you strap a piece of toast to the back of a cat and the cat jumps off the dining room table what happens?
Answer: As the cat nears the floor an antigravity rotational vortex will form. As the cats feet near parallel to the floor the toast will assert its own force causing the cat to spin in midair. Then, as the toast reaches parallel the cat’s feet will then assert a force. Thus, the cat/toast hybrid will be forever suspended in midair, rotating slowly like a slab of gyro meat.
I believe a girl broke up with me due to my proposing of this experiment. So along with “You’re a jerk” and “You’re too cynical” I’ve also been told “I can’t date anyone who wants to perform theoretical physics experiments on my cat.” Some people just have no respect for the advancement of science.
Question: Any special plans for next week?
Answer: Definitely. Next week marks the 16th anniversary of the recording of one of the greatest albums of all time: Uncle Tupelo’s “March 16-20, 1992”, an album so cool they just named it after the recording session. As a result of this, and in honor of the end of No Depression magazine, each day will feature music by an artist representative of the No Depression banner. Should be fun.
Question: So what are your plans for St. Patrick’s Day?
Answer: Working. Yes, that is a sad answer and it is the first time I’ll be working on the big day in many a year. I’ll still go out (and I’m hoping to take off from work a little early) but it’s not an all day event like it has been in the past for me. I’ve described New Year’s Eve as amateur night while I’m a grizzled veteran. Well, let’s say that right now I’m the guy recovering from Tommy John surgery hoping that he’ll have just enough left in the tank when he returns to make the Hall of Fame ballot. I’ve only got a limited number of innings left in me and I have to use them wisely.
Question: Since you’ve answered the age old Ginger vs. Mary Ann question let’s go to the next obvious one, which of the Facts of Life girls would you choose?
Answer: Yowzers. This should be a question for psychological profiling. I’m tempted to go with Jo here just because she could probably change the oil on my car for me. But I’m going to cheat and say I’ll find which school Molly Ringwald transferred to after the first season and see if she is still around.
Question: How long do you think you will last without a job before going completely out of your mind from boredom?
Answer: I’m guessing I’ll be able to make it to Thursday. At that point I will probably be cataloguing my socks in excel in an attempt to do something productive (and trust me, in my mind that would be productive). That’s why I’ll end up writing a book; I’m going to have to do something to fill up the hours.
Question: Speaking of writing, any changes to the blog publishing schedule because of all of this?
Answer: None that I plan on. I’ll still post Sunday through Thursday. Only thing that might change is that I might not keep to the “always in the late evening” schedule that I’ve had for the past four years. In a perfect world I’d be writing earlier in the day while I’m wide awake. Instead I have a feeling that given no set schedule I’m going to return to my night owl tendencies so there may be some late night posts. I just see myself doing job search in the morning and writing in the evening with fun somewhere in between.
Question: Toast always lands butter side down. Cats always land on their feet. If you strap a piece of toast to the back of a cat and the cat jumps off the dining room table what happens?
Answer: As the cat nears the floor an antigravity rotational vortex will form. As the cats feet near parallel to the floor the toast will assert its own force causing the cat to spin in midair. Then, as the toast reaches parallel the cat’s feet will then assert a force. Thus, the cat/toast hybrid will be forever suspended in midair, rotating slowly like a slab of gyro meat.
I believe a girl broke up with me due to my proposing of this experiment. So along with “You’re a jerk” and “You’re too cynical” I’ve also been told “I can’t date anyone who wants to perform theoretical physics experiments on my cat.” Some people just have no respect for the advancement of science.
Question: Any special plans for next week?
Answer: Definitely. Next week marks the 16th anniversary of the recording of one of the greatest albums of all time: Uncle Tupelo’s “March 16-20, 1992”, an album so cool they just named it after the recording session. As a result of this, and in honor of the end of No Depression magazine, each day will feature music by an artist representative of the No Depression banner. Should be fun.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Also, can you use Discover for the cash back option?
Might as well discuss this whole Elliot Spitzer deal. As always, it is the math of the situation that confuses me. So he spent about 80 grand on, uh, “high end entertainment with premier ladies.” Actually, only one lady at four grand a pop so that would be twenty encounters in total. My question is do you start getting discounts for being a repeat customer? You know, like you’re handed one of those punch cards you get at Subway and on every tenth “date” not only does she dress up like a French maid but she also cleans your house? And if we follow that business model to its rightful conclusion could you also have coupons? A buy one get one free deal if you will? I really need to know these things.
So I was in Lawrence this evening and I was able to keep myself from grabbing random passerbys and yelling “Get a job you hippie!” True, most of those people were frat guys in Abercrombie t-shirts whose entire existence is a waste of natural resources but you get the idea. I’ve mentioned this before but I’m always amazed by the sheer number of hippies and artistically inclined people who seem to congregate on Mass. Street. In Champaign we would have laughed them off the campus. Of course we felt nothing wrong with the fact that we had a fully functional nuclear reactor on the engineering campus. To each his own I guess.
(Also, I have to point out that while I make fun of how other people dress today I came dangerously close to rocking out the “short sleeve shirt over a long sleeve shirt over a short sleeve shirt look.” Which would be great if I was still in high school.)
It is still a strange feeling to walk around Lawrence and feel like I’m the oldest one there. I was a sophomore in high school when a freshman at KU was born, a thought that makes me want to lie down in a corner and sob uncontrollably for a while. There’s that whole vibe of being just hip enough to still fit into the place that I enjoy though. One of the things I’m looking forward to in the next few weeks is on some nice weekday just driving to Lawrence and hit the music stores and shops and act like I’m a student again. I could see that becoming a standard routine of mine even though it would go against my thinking of not working will save me gas money.
Then I went to see Richard Thompson in concert where I was one of the youngest people there. That’s just the type of place Lawrence is. You can go from being the oldest to the youngest in a matter of seconds. It was a great show, just Richard and his guitar, by one of the master songwriters. While I know that I’m not long for this town it is nice to know that I can take off for the evening and experience a night like this.
I’ll end with an old clip of Richard. I don’t have the words right now to describe his style in any way other than genius.
So I was in Lawrence this evening and I was able to keep myself from grabbing random passerbys and yelling “Get a job you hippie!” True, most of those people were frat guys in Abercrombie t-shirts whose entire existence is a waste of natural resources but you get the idea. I’ve mentioned this before but I’m always amazed by the sheer number of hippies and artistically inclined people who seem to congregate on Mass. Street. In Champaign we would have laughed them off the campus. Of course we felt nothing wrong with the fact that we had a fully functional nuclear reactor on the engineering campus. To each his own I guess.
(Also, I have to point out that while I make fun of how other people dress today I came dangerously close to rocking out the “short sleeve shirt over a long sleeve shirt over a short sleeve shirt look.” Which would be great if I was still in high school.)
It is still a strange feeling to walk around Lawrence and feel like I’m the oldest one there. I was a sophomore in high school when a freshman at KU was born, a thought that makes me want to lie down in a corner and sob uncontrollably for a while. There’s that whole vibe of being just hip enough to still fit into the place that I enjoy though. One of the things I’m looking forward to in the next few weeks is on some nice weekday just driving to Lawrence and hit the music stores and shops and act like I’m a student again. I could see that becoming a standard routine of mine even though it would go against my thinking of not working will save me gas money.
Then I went to see Richard Thompson in concert where I was one of the youngest people there. That’s just the type of place Lawrence is. You can go from being the oldest to the youngest in a matter of seconds. It was a great show, just Richard and his guitar, by one of the master songwriters. While I know that I’m not long for this town it is nice to know that I can take off for the evening and experience a night like this.
I’ll end with an old clip of Richard. I don’t have the words right now to describe his style in any way other than genius.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
There's a reason why the Professor never got them off the island
I continue to find watching The Biggest Loser fascinating. It’s the only time where you can see an overweight person lose four pounds in a week and be completely ashamed at their lack of accomplishment. I’ve talked about this before but the show is just cruel at times while often breaking into self parody. Such as the trainer tips that are simply embedded commercials. Once or twice in each episode a trainer will be with two of the contestants and discuss cooking “using Pam nonstick spray” or storing your salad in “Ziplock freezer containers.” Tonight they just broke down and showed a pack of Extra sugarfree gum sitting on a windowsill for no reason whatsoever.
We also had a trainer talking back to the host (an actress from Days of Our Lives who probably appreciates a second paycheck for simply saying “Tonight you weigh…”) for asking what she considered mean questions. I mean, come on. You are a cast member on a freaking game show. These people have been doing this for months now. Pointing out that odds are they aren’t going to win is not the worst thing in the world. It just seemed so over the top that it was almost nonsensical.
On a similar subject did anyone else see the news story about the 800 pound man whose date was cancelled due to an “accident”? No, it did not involve anything like a floor collapse, don’t be so cynical now. Apparently there is a guy in Mexico who weighed 1,200 pounds. He’s since lost 400 pounds and to celebrate that rather impressive feat he was going to leave the house and go on a date with his girlfriend. However, plans got derailed when the canopy top of the truck he was riding in struck a streetlight, fell apart and the guy started sweating too much so they took him back home. This story leaves me with one question and one question only. How can an 800 pound man pick up a girlfriend while I can’t? Does that just define how big of a loser I actually am?
On a lighter note (get it, lighter note? Ah if I didn’t laugh at myself I’d be forced to spend all day listening to The Cure) the other big news story is Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island being sentenced for having pot in her car. This definitely changes the whole Ginger vs. Mary Ann question. Ginger is prettier and sultrier and would draw more attention hanging from your arm in a bar but would also be high maintenance and require a large clothes allowance. Mary Ann is wholesome, can cook a coconut cream pie and apparently knows where to score some pot. Mary Ann it is then. Unless you’re just in it for the money in which Mrs. Howell has to be discussed but I’ll avoid that topic for the time being.
Oh, and one other news items that made my week. Battlebots is coming back! On ESPN no less because battling robots is clearly the future of sports. It will be a competition between college teams so I apparently will need to reenroll to enter. Maybe I can lead the University of Phoenix online team or something. I mean, nothing can compare to my modified Roomba vacuum cleaner with the spinning blades of death. Some people will question why Battlebots is suitable for ESPN. I would like to point out that this is the network that features non-stop poker coverage, old bull riding competitions on ESPN Classic, and seemingly nightly episodes of the “Giant foreign men lifting large objects” competition. Fighting robots is actually a step in the right direction.
We also had a trainer talking back to the host (an actress from Days of Our Lives who probably appreciates a second paycheck for simply saying “Tonight you weigh…”) for asking what she considered mean questions. I mean, come on. You are a cast member on a freaking game show. These people have been doing this for months now. Pointing out that odds are they aren’t going to win is not the worst thing in the world. It just seemed so over the top that it was almost nonsensical.
On a similar subject did anyone else see the news story about the 800 pound man whose date was cancelled due to an “accident”? No, it did not involve anything like a floor collapse, don’t be so cynical now. Apparently there is a guy in Mexico who weighed 1,200 pounds. He’s since lost 400 pounds and to celebrate that rather impressive feat he was going to leave the house and go on a date with his girlfriend. However, plans got derailed when the canopy top of the truck he was riding in struck a streetlight, fell apart and the guy started sweating too much so they took him back home. This story leaves me with one question and one question only. How can an 800 pound man pick up a girlfriend while I can’t? Does that just define how big of a loser I actually am?
On a lighter note (get it, lighter note? Ah if I didn’t laugh at myself I’d be forced to spend all day listening to The Cure) the other big news story is Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island being sentenced for having pot in her car. This definitely changes the whole Ginger vs. Mary Ann question. Ginger is prettier and sultrier and would draw more attention hanging from your arm in a bar but would also be high maintenance and require a large clothes allowance. Mary Ann is wholesome, can cook a coconut cream pie and apparently knows where to score some pot. Mary Ann it is then. Unless you’re just in it for the money in which Mrs. Howell has to be discussed but I’ll avoid that topic for the time being.
Oh, and one other news items that made my week. Battlebots is coming back! On ESPN no less because battling robots is clearly the future of sports. It will be a competition between college teams so I apparently will need to reenroll to enter. Maybe I can lead the University of Phoenix online team or something. I mean, nothing can compare to my modified Roomba vacuum cleaner with the spinning blades of death. Some people will question why Battlebots is suitable for ESPN. I would like to point out that this is the network that features non-stop poker coverage, old bull riding competitions on ESPN Classic, and seemingly nightly episodes of the “Giant foreign men lifting large objects” competition. Fighting robots is actually a step in the right direction.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Life is like a Vlookup command...
Had one of those days in the office today. The one where you spend the entire afternoon redoing everything you did in the morning because of bad data. Well, maybe this was partially my fault because I knew the data was bad when I started working with it but I didn’t expect it to magically fix itself while I wasn’t looking. As a result I got to spend even more of my day than usual manipulating spreadsheets and playing around with data. I know that I actually enjoy that but running the same stuff over and over again does get a little tiring.
It did dawn on me that I did a ton of work today without really talking to anyone. A phone call here or there but otherwise it was working with my headphones on for eight hours. This makes me wonder about one of my biggest fears about gainful unemployment: the possibilities of going days without actually talking to anyone. Truth be told, I sometimes do that now so I guess I shouldn’t consider it that much of a concern. Well, obviously it is a concern but at least I should not consider it a new experience. It’s not good in any way but at least I am aware of it. Plus, soon I won’t have to attempt to make half hearted attempts at conversation in elevators anymore. That has to be a plus.
I know I’m talking about work now but I figure that I’m so close to the end that it isn’t worth the effort to try to edit myself anymore. This way I get to complain about being added to an 8 AM meeting tomorrow to discuss the job I’m leaving. Yeah, I am so looking forward to that one. I had a hard enough getting inspired to get into the office by eight when I actually thought about the future. Now I just tend to sneak in the side door so Lumberg doesn’t notice.
Another interesting question that has been asked of me recently: will I tell new employers about my blog. Specifically, would I bring this up in an interview? For some reason I have the same answer as I do about telling someone I’m dating about it; I don’t bring it up but will discuss it if the situation arises. It’s a bit of a Catch-22. If I tell a girl that I run a vaguely successful blog I give the impression that I am creative and artistic. The problem is if she actually reads the site then she finds out more things about me than she would really need to know. Companies would be the same way. It’s a lot of “wow, this guy has a lot of talent along with an apparent Lindsay Lohan obsession.” Makes for a tough call.
Last note for the night and the best example of good news / bad news in a long while. Good news is next Monday we celebrate the return of The Big Bang Theory and the sitcom version of my life in How I Met Your Mother. Bad news is that in order to raise ratings and save the show Brittney Spears is going to guest star on How I Met Your Mother. I am not making any part of that last sentence up. The show that I described as being a brilliant retelling of being young and single has decided to add Brit to the cast for a show. Guess I can’t consider the show to be based on my life anymore. Not unless things have gotten even weirder than they’ve usually been.
It did dawn on me that I did a ton of work today without really talking to anyone. A phone call here or there but otherwise it was working with my headphones on for eight hours. This makes me wonder about one of my biggest fears about gainful unemployment: the possibilities of going days without actually talking to anyone. Truth be told, I sometimes do that now so I guess I shouldn’t consider it that much of a concern. Well, obviously it is a concern but at least I should not consider it a new experience. It’s not good in any way but at least I am aware of it. Plus, soon I won’t have to attempt to make half hearted attempts at conversation in elevators anymore. That has to be a plus.
I know I’m talking about work now but I figure that I’m so close to the end that it isn’t worth the effort to try to edit myself anymore. This way I get to complain about being added to an 8 AM meeting tomorrow to discuss the job I’m leaving. Yeah, I am so looking forward to that one. I had a hard enough getting inspired to get into the office by eight when I actually thought about the future. Now I just tend to sneak in the side door so Lumberg doesn’t notice.
Another interesting question that has been asked of me recently: will I tell new employers about my blog. Specifically, would I bring this up in an interview? For some reason I have the same answer as I do about telling someone I’m dating about it; I don’t bring it up but will discuss it if the situation arises. It’s a bit of a Catch-22. If I tell a girl that I run a vaguely successful blog I give the impression that I am creative and artistic. The problem is if she actually reads the site then she finds out more things about me than she would really need to know. Companies would be the same way. It’s a lot of “wow, this guy has a lot of talent along with an apparent Lindsay Lohan obsession.” Makes for a tough call.
Last note for the night and the best example of good news / bad news in a long while. Good news is next Monday we celebrate the return of The Big Bang Theory and the sitcom version of my life in How I Met Your Mother. Bad news is that in order to raise ratings and save the show Brittney Spears is going to guest star on How I Met Your Mother. I am not making any part of that last sentence up. The show that I described as being a brilliant retelling of being young and single has decided to add Brit to the cast for a show. Guess I can’t consider the show to be based on my life anymore. Not unless things have gotten even weirder than they’ve usually been.
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Lost an hour a sleep and half an hour fixing clocks
Is it alright if I find it a sign of moral weakness that we now institute Daylight Savings Time while there is still snow on the ground? Maybe we are working on a misguided impression that an extra hour of daylight will help melt the snow quicker. It just seems bizarre to me that we start this so early now. I remember as a kid that daylight savings time meant that you could be outside well into the evening but we didn’t need to be wearing mittens at the time.
(Yes, I occasionally wore mittens. When you’re already labeled a geek things like keeping your hands warm takes precedence over any attempts at style.)
I say this every year but I find it useful to reiterate it. The reason we have daylight savings time has nothing to do with energy conservation or schoolkids taking the bus in the dark or any of those reasons. It is simply so that we have an extra hour of light in the evening for barbecues, golf and other economically viable activities. You move the hour of sunlight wasted by sleep to when you are most likely to spend money. It’s tricks like this that keep the economy moving in its own lumbering way.
That said, the hour of lost sleep gave me an excuse to stay in last night as opposed to making a late night even later. In all honesty I was just dead tired last night and had to wake myself up to even be bothered to turn on the Duke-Carolina game. Probably could have just slept given the end result. Duke looks like a team that is going to lose in the Sweet Sixteen. They’ve got talent but they also lose to teams like Miami. Not a very good sign.
Switching gears, I have a bit of a bummer to report on. I got a call on Friday about the job I was interviewing for and was told that they wouldn’t be needing my services at this time. It wasn’t a complete door slam as they were passing my resume on to another manager who might be interested in me but still it wasn’t exactly what I wanted to hear. Not sure exactly why I didn’t get the position (I asked the recruiter for reasons but wasn’t told anything specific) but I felt that I interviewed well. That said, I didn’t think that I would get a job this quickly or this easily so I’m not stunned by the result. I’m just bummed as I really felt qualified for the position and could have done a bang up job in it.
The good news is that I still really haven’t even started my job search. I’ve reached out to a few people and dropped a resume off here and there but I haven’t even come close to going full bore. I’m confident that I will find something out there for me. Given what I’ve accomplished I think I could make someone take a chance on me. Otherwise I’ll just enjoy my paid sabbatical. I’ve always wanted one of those.
Best of 120 Minutes: Thought that I’d have a rocking start to the week. Given that we are all going to have a collective case of jet lag in the morning there is nothing better than some musical adrenaline to start the day. Let’s all enjoy the Smashing Pumpkins, the best band ever out of Chicago, with the song that broke them into the mainstream. This will make a day of spreadsheets and powerpoints much more palatable.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Coldplay “Live 2003”
2) The Autumn Defense “Circles”
3) Josh Ritter “Live at the Record Exchange”
4) Alain Vinet Mouvement “Day by Day Volume 1”
5) U2 “Live at Notre Dame”
(Yes, I occasionally wore mittens. When you’re already labeled a geek things like keeping your hands warm takes precedence over any attempts at style.)
I say this every year but I find it useful to reiterate it. The reason we have daylight savings time has nothing to do with energy conservation or schoolkids taking the bus in the dark or any of those reasons. It is simply so that we have an extra hour of light in the evening for barbecues, golf and other economically viable activities. You move the hour of sunlight wasted by sleep to when you are most likely to spend money. It’s tricks like this that keep the economy moving in its own lumbering way.
That said, the hour of lost sleep gave me an excuse to stay in last night as opposed to making a late night even later. In all honesty I was just dead tired last night and had to wake myself up to even be bothered to turn on the Duke-Carolina game. Probably could have just slept given the end result. Duke looks like a team that is going to lose in the Sweet Sixteen. They’ve got talent but they also lose to teams like Miami. Not a very good sign.
Switching gears, I have a bit of a bummer to report on. I got a call on Friday about the job I was interviewing for and was told that they wouldn’t be needing my services at this time. It wasn’t a complete door slam as they were passing my resume on to another manager who might be interested in me but still it wasn’t exactly what I wanted to hear. Not sure exactly why I didn’t get the position (I asked the recruiter for reasons but wasn’t told anything specific) but I felt that I interviewed well. That said, I didn’t think that I would get a job this quickly or this easily so I’m not stunned by the result. I’m just bummed as I really felt qualified for the position and could have done a bang up job in it.
The good news is that I still really haven’t even started my job search. I’ve reached out to a few people and dropped a resume off here and there but I haven’t even come close to going full bore. I’m confident that I will find something out there for me. Given what I’ve accomplished I think I could make someone take a chance on me. Otherwise I’ll just enjoy my paid sabbatical. I’ve always wanted one of those.
Best of 120 Minutes: Thought that I’d have a rocking start to the week. Given that we are all going to have a collective case of jet lag in the morning there is nothing better than some musical adrenaline to start the day. Let’s all enjoy the Smashing Pumpkins, the best band ever out of Chicago, with the song that broke them into the mainstream. This will make a day of spreadsheets and powerpoints much more palatable.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Coldplay “Live 2003”
2) The Autumn Defense “Circles”
3) Josh Ritter “Live at the Record Exchange”
4) Alain Vinet Mouvement “Day by Day Volume 1”
5) U2 “Live at Notre Dame”
Thursday, March 06, 2008
A monologue in dialogue form
Think I’ll finish the week with a little Q and A. It’s not quite the Infrequently Asked Questions but some things just work better as a dialogue.
Q: So you really are leaving your job?
A: Yep, my last day is March 28th.
Q: Feel like changing your mind right about now?
A: Not really. I applied for the separation package with the caveat that I could change my mind if I found that I had apparently no value on the job market. Since I’ve had interviews and people emailing me to ask if I was interested in a position I feel that I should be able to get a job somewhere in this world.
Q: True but weren’t some of those emails woefully misguided?
A: Yeah, I’m not quite sure why people want to hire me as a speech therapist. Apparently according to one job engine I have a strong background in the health care industry. Now I admit that my resume is often schizophrenic and there are parts of my past that are cloudy even to me but I don’t ever recall working in the health care industry. I’m an experienced customer of it but I’ve never provided any service.
Q: So I guess given this and the earnings announcement you’re happy with your decision?
A: That certainly helped me to conclude that I’m making the right decision. Seeing the company reduced to junk bond status really hurts me given that I spent over a year of my life working to improve our credit ratings. The place is in for a long haul for rebuilding and while I see the possibilities of a turnaround it’s not the right place for me right now.
Q: Everything is rainbows and unicorns for you then, huh?
A: Of course not. I’m pretty much scared to death right now. I realized a few days ago that on March 31 I will wake up not knowing what I am going to do with my life next for the first time ever. I graduated college with a job in hand, left my first job and went directly to grad school, and left grad school with a job. I’ve never not been working. I’m not sure how I am going to handle it.
Q: Wait, I thought you said your last day was the 28th. Why would this realization only come to you on the 31st?
A: Partly because it’s a Monday and partly because I have a feeling that that is going to be a very interesting weekend.
Q: How are you going to handle all of this free time then?
A: I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently. I’ve come up with a schedule that should work. I’ll spend three to four hours a day working on finding a job (sending out resumes, networking, researching, interviewing and the like). I’ll work out every day, maybe finally earn my Deadspin commenter privileges and spend some time on their blog, and get a lot of writing done.
Q: So upon leaving a job where you spent all day looking at a computer you are going to then spend all your time looking at a computer?
A: Yes but now it will be a pants optional working environment.
Q: Do you think we really needed to have that image implanted in our minds?
A: The alternative was a joke that included the phrase “only a thong and a smile.”
Q: Moving on, what are you going to write?
A: That’s one that I want to ask the people who read this. Given that I feel that I have one major writing project in me and this is the best opportunity I may ever have to write 60,000 words in one fell swoop I want to know what people would like to read. I assume that everyone who reads this is my audience for this (and this would actually be a self-published enterprise that I’ll foot the bill for). Would you rather see me write a novel (romantic comedy in the vein of High Fidelity) or would you rather have a collection of essays both fiction and non-fiction in the style of David Sedaris or Sarah Vowell? For now post your thoughts in the comments. If I figure out how to post a poll I will run that as well. Need answers by the end of the month please.
Q: How have the interviews been going so far?
A: Not bad. I’m actually interviewing for jobs that I’m qualified for which is a bit of a first for me. Typically I’m switching career paths and have to try to get hired on the basis that I’m a good bet to be successful. So far I’ve been interviewing within my field and knock on wood (or smack my head into the desk) it’s been going well. I’m still a bit away from actually getting offers but I haven’t had any doors slammed in my face either.
Q: So you really are going through with it?
A: Yeah, I don’t believe it either. I’m six months from my thirty fifth birthday and I’m facing the world with a clean slate. Can go anywhere I want to. Recreate my life however I see fit. Not too many people get this opportunity. I want to make the most of it.
Q: Or you’ll spend the entire time watching old Voltron episodes.
A: Look, some things will never change.
Enjoy the weekend everyone.
Q: So you really are leaving your job?
A: Yep, my last day is March 28th.
Q: Feel like changing your mind right about now?
A: Not really. I applied for the separation package with the caveat that I could change my mind if I found that I had apparently no value on the job market. Since I’ve had interviews and people emailing me to ask if I was interested in a position I feel that I should be able to get a job somewhere in this world.
Q: True but weren’t some of those emails woefully misguided?
A: Yeah, I’m not quite sure why people want to hire me as a speech therapist. Apparently according to one job engine I have a strong background in the health care industry. Now I admit that my resume is often schizophrenic and there are parts of my past that are cloudy even to me but I don’t ever recall working in the health care industry. I’m an experienced customer of it but I’ve never provided any service.
Q: So I guess given this and the earnings announcement you’re happy with your decision?
A: That certainly helped me to conclude that I’m making the right decision. Seeing the company reduced to junk bond status really hurts me given that I spent over a year of my life working to improve our credit ratings. The place is in for a long haul for rebuilding and while I see the possibilities of a turnaround it’s not the right place for me right now.
Q: Everything is rainbows and unicorns for you then, huh?
A: Of course not. I’m pretty much scared to death right now. I realized a few days ago that on March 31 I will wake up not knowing what I am going to do with my life next for the first time ever. I graduated college with a job in hand, left my first job and went directly to grad school, and left grad school with a job. I’ve never not been working. I’m not sure how I am going to handle it.
Q: Wait, I thought you said your last day was the 28th. Why would this realization only come to you on the 31st?
A: Partly because it’s a Monday and partly because I have a feeling that that is going to be a very interesting weekend.
Q: How are you going to handle all of this free time then?
A: I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently. I’ve come up with a schedule that should work. I’ll spend three to four hours a day working on finding a job (sending out resumes, networking, researching, interviewing and the like). I’ll work out every day, maybe finally earn my Deadspin commenter privileges and spend some time on their blog, and get a lot of writing done.
Q: So upon leaving a job where you spent all day looking at a computer you are going to then spend all your time looking at a computer?
A: Yes but now it will be a pants optional working environment.
Q: Do you think we really needed to have that image implanted in our minds?
A: The alternative was a joke that included the phrase “only a thong and a smile.”
Q: Moving on, what are you going to write?
A: That’s one that I want to ask the people who read this. Given that I feel that I have one major writing project in me and this is the best opportunity I may ever have to write 60,000 words in one fell swoop I want to know what people would like to read. I assume that everyone who reads this is my audience for this (and this would actually be a self-published enterprise that I’ll foot the bill for). Would you rather see me write a novel (romantic comedy in the vein of High Fidelity) or would you rather have a collection of essays both fiction and non-fiction in the style of David Sedaris or Sarah Vowell? For now post your thoughts in the comments. If I figure out how to post a poll I will run that as well. Need answers by the end of the month please.
Q: How have the interviews been going so far?
A: Not bad. I’m actually interviewing for jobs that I’m qualified for which is a bit of a first for me. Typically I’m switching career paths and have to try to get hired on the basis that I’m a good bet to be successful. So far I’ve been interviewing within my field and knock on wood (or smack my head into the desk) it’s been going well. I’m still a bit away from actually getting offers but I haven’t had any doors slammed in my face either.
Q: So you really are going through with it?
A: Yeah, I don’t believe it either. I’m six months from my thirty fifth birthday and I’m facing the world with a clean slate. Can go anywhere I want to. Recreate my life however I see fit. Not too many people get this opportunity. I want to make the most of it.
Q: Or you’ll spend the entire time watching old Voltron episodes.
A: Look, some things will never change.
Enjoy the weekend everyone.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Songbook: Volume Seven: Tift Merritt "Broken"
Haven’t done one of these in a while. For those who don’t remember, this is an idea taken from Nick Hornby’s book “Songbook” in which you talk about music less in critical terms and more in terms of what it means to you. Thanks to the wonders of technology I can now ensure that you actually know the song that I am talking about (as in, here is the video)
Music has a funny way of finding you. It’s not as if one can walk into a store, look at a rack of CDs and go “This one is going to speak to me the words that I need to hear.” It doesn’t work that way. Enlightenment comes from odd corners and coincidences and actions taken years earlier.
I’ve mentioned before how I became a fan of Tift Merritt. Well, less of how I became a fan of hers and more how I became aware of her. In a nutshell while leaving a Kelly Willis show I was handed a flyer promoting Tift’s debut record and I noticed that she was very pretty, a fact that was sufficient incentive to give her a listen. How that reasoning works is still a mystery to me but I’m happy for it as Bramble Rose became part of the soundtrack of my life. I followed her career, thought that Tambourine was the album of the year and even had her sign her set list for me, which hangs on my fridge to this day. The worst thing I can say about her is the fact that my inclusion of one of her songs on a mix tape resulted in the recipient saying that she never wanted to speak to me again. Admittedly that was more my fault than Tift’s and she did change her mind (eventually and for reasons I have yet to comprehend).
For the past few years though my fandom really hasn’t had any outlet. Tift disappeared from the scene and though I still listened to her discs and recommended her to friends I didn’t know when or if I would ever hear a follow up. She didn’t really fall off my radar but she was slowly become a voice from my past, tied to a specific part of my life that I had been leaving behind. When I heard recently that she had a new disc coming out I was interested to see what it was like.
I wasn’t sure what to expect when I picked it up over the weekend. I wasn’t planning on finding an album explaining what I have been going through the past few years. I certainly didn’t plan on going to sleep with the chorus of “Broken” floating through my ears. But all of this happened as part of a masterful artistic turn for Tift.
In essence, this is an album about finding yourself and needing to break away in order to do so. About realizing that there are times when you have to stop and reassess what is important to you. The story as to how the songs were written seems to have been taken from an old black and white movie. Tired with life on the road, Tift headed off to Paris to live in an apartment with only her guitar and a piano for company. In that environment, free from the noise and headaches that had filled her life she was able to find what was missing and reclaim her music. She even woke up one morning hugging the leg of her piano almost as if in a scene from a movie that has never been made. These epiphanies, these moments of clarity have helped her to create a group of songs that are heartfelt and emotional and just amazing.
If I had heard this album a few years ago I don’t know if I would have appreciated it as much. Maybe in a few years time after my life has resettled I will reassess my feelings. But that first listen made me stop everything I was doing and just listen to Broken on repeat for most of the evening. It is a song that has reached me at the right moment; one of those twists of fate that makes you happy that you are open to them.
Because I don’t know if I’ve listened to anything recently that explains my life quite as well. I’ve woken up to find myself in the midst of a life that isn’t satisfying. It’s as if I look around and wonder how I got here while realizing I’ve reached an age where the phrase “I’ve reached an age” has become very appropriate. All I want to do is stop and find the path that I am meant to be on and get back to being the person I am in my heart. To do what Tift did and chuck it all for a while and just be for a little bit and listen. That’s what I love about this song; the acceptance of what is wrong and knowing that the pieces can be put back together again. “I think I will break but I mend.” I hope that is the case for me.
Music has a funny way of finding you. It’s not as if one can walk into a store, look at a rack of CDs and go “This one is going to speak to me the words that I need to hear.” It doesn’t work that way. Enlightenment comes from odd corners and coincidences and actions taken years earlier.
I’ve mentioned before how I became a fan of Tift Merritt. Well, less of how I became a fan of hers and more how I became aware of her. In a nutshell while leaving a Kelly Willis show I was handed a flyer promoting Tift’s debut record and I noticed that she was very pretty, a fact that was sufficient incentive to give her a listen. How that reasoning works is still a mystery to me but I’m happy for it as Bramble Rose became part of the soundtrack of my life. I followed her career, thought that Tambourine was the album of the year and even had her sign her set list for me, which hangs on my fridge to this day. The worst thing I can say about her is the fact that my inclusion of one of her songs on a mix tape resulted in the recipient saying that she never wanted to speak to me again. Admittedly that was more my fault than Tift’s and she did change her mind (eventually and for reasons I have yet to comprehend).
For the past few years though my fandom really hasn’t had any outlet. Tift disappeared from the scene and though I still listened to her discs and recommended her to friends I didn’t know when or if I would ever hear a follow up. She didn’t really fall off my radar but she was slowly become a voice from my past, tied to a specific part of my life that I had been leaving behind. When I heard recently that she had a new disc coming out I was interested to see what it was like.
I wasn’t sure what to expect when I picked it up over the weekend. I wasn’t planning on finding an album explaining what I have been going through the past few years. I certainly didn’t plan on going to sleep with the chorus of “Broken” floating through my ears. But all of this happened as part of a masterful artistic turn for Tift.
In essence, this is an album about finding yourself and needing to break away in order to do so. About realizing that there are times when you have to stop and reassess what is important to you. The story as to how the songs were written seems to have been taken from an old black and white movie. Tired with life on the road, Tift headed off to Paris to live in an apartment with only her guitar and a piano for company. In that environment, free from the noise and headaches that had filled her life she was able to find what was missing and reclaim her music. She even woke up one morning hugging the leg of her piano almost as if in a scene from a movie that has never been made. These epiphanies, these moments of clarity have helped her to create a group of songs that are heartfelt and emotional and just amazing.
If I had heard this album a few years ago I don’t know if I would have appreciated it as much. Maybe in a few years time after my life has resettled I will reassess my feelings. But that first listen made me stop everything I was doing and just listen to Broken on repeat for most of the evening. It is a song that has reached me at the right moment; one of those twists of fate that makes you happy that you are open to them.
Because I don’t know if I’ve listened to anything recently that explains my life quite as well. I’ve woken up to find myself in the midst of a life that isn’t satisfying. It’s as if I look around and wonder how I got here while realizing I’ve reached an age where the phrase “I’ve reached an age” has become very appropriate. All I want to do is stop and find the path that I am meant to be on and get back to being the person I am in my heart. To do what Tift did and chuck it all for a while and just be for a little bit and listen. That’s what I love about this song; the acceptance of what is wrong and knowing that the pieces can be put back together again. “I think I will break but I mend.” I hope that is the case for me.
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
As long as you still have hit points you have a chance...
I have to start off tonight by paying my respect to the greatest Dungeon Master of them all, Gary Gygax, who passed away today. He wrote the book on Dungeons and Dragons, literally. He created the rule set and the world in which I spent my youth, my teenage years, my young adulthood, my wild twenties and now my early midlife crisis. Guess you can say that he was a rather strong influence on my life. How else was I to learn about mythology, epic legends and the fact that clerics can’t use edged weapons and are thus totally lame? In honor of Gary I ask that everyone roll their twenty sided die in honor of the legend himself. No modifiers added, please.
(What do you mean you don’t have a twenty sided die? How do you settle melee combat situations? I bet you’re the type of person who doesn’t even take into account the weight of the gold you gain during a dungeon crawl to the encumbrance of your character. Just go off and play Parcheesi if you want to be that way.)
Today has been a weird day, desire of wanting to sit down and discuss when saving throws are appropriate aside. That happens when you start the day by getting your taxes done. Yes, despite the fact that I a) have an MBA in Finance and b) enjoy numbers more than almost anything other than wielding enchanted swords against hordes of kobolds I pay someone to do my taxes for me. It is horribly lazy but at least it started due to a very good reason. My first year out here I found myself facing my tax forms knowing that I had lived in three states and worked in a fourth over the past year and had no idea what forms to fill out. Once you get started not filling out the paperwork it is a tough habit to break.
That said, it is sad that I continue to do it given that nothing changes and I could just do the forms myself. Of course, next year I’ll have to see someone as I’ll be switching jobs, states and maybe even buying a place. Maybe I am just trying to take into account the outsourcing of my life. At some point it is worth money to have someone do in an hour that which would take me most of a Saturday afternoon.
My interview went well, or at least I thought it did as I have a horrible history in predicting the results of these things. As always my goal is simply to make it to the next stage and I hope that I achieved that plateau. The interesting thing about the whole thing is how quickly I shook off the interview rust and was back to my confident, enthusiastic self. It hit me while I was preparing last night. Ok, I’ll need to explain the preparing part as it involves more than just listening to Jeff Buckley over and over again.
In order to feel comfortable in an interview I need to sit down with a good idea of what I am going to say. Not only do I review my resume I check my old performance reviews to find items that I don’t even remember accomplishing. It just helps to refresh my memory. Then I’ll start practicing answers. “Tell me about yourself”, “What are your weaknesses” “Why should I hire you”. I walk around my apartment answering those questions out loud. Yes it makes me look like an idiot but it is surprisingly effective.
Well, last night I turned a corner. While looking in the mirror while giving my spiel I realized that I was excited and psyched to be interviewing. I dig the position I’m interviewing for, I like the company and I so want the change and the challenge. That was a great feeling that I haven’t had for a very long time. When I get my confidence it is a beautiful thing. Not as beautiful as a well cast Fireball spell but nothing in life is perfect.
(What do you mean you don’t have a twenty sided die? How do you settle melee combat situations? I bet you’re the type of person who doesn’t even take into account the weight of the gold you gain during a dungeon crawl to the encumbrance of your character. Just go off and play Parcheesi if you want to be that way.)
Today has been a weird day, desire of wanting to sit down and discuss when saving throws are appropriate aside. That happens when you start the day by getting your taxes done. Yes, despite the fact that I a) have an MBA in Finance and b) enjoy numbers more than almost anything other than wielding enchanted swords against hordes of kobolds I pay someone to do my taxes for me. It is horribly lazy but at least it started due to a very good reason. My first year out here I found myself facing my tax forms knowing that I had lived in three states and worked in a fourth over the past year and had no idea what forms to fill out. Once you get started not filling out the paperwork it is a tough habit to break.
That said, it is sad that I continue to do it given that nothing changes and I could just do the forms myself. Of course, next year I’ll have to see someone as I’ll be switching jobs, states and maybe even buying a place. Maybe I am just trying to take into account the outsourcing of my life. At some point it is worth money to have someone do in an hour that which would take me most of a Saturday afternoon.
My interview went well, or at least I thought it did as I have a horrible history in predicting the results of these things. As always my goal is simply to make it to the next stage and I hope that I achieved that plateau. The interesting thing about the whole thing is how quickly I shook off the interview rust and was back to my confident, enthusiastic self. It hit me while I was preparing last night. Ok, I’ll need to explain the preparing part as it involves more than just listening to Jeff Buckley over and over again.
In order to feel comfortable in an interview I need to sit down with a good idea of what I am going to say. Not only do I review my resume I check my old performance reviews to find items that I don’t even remember accomplishing. It just helps to refresh my memory. Then I’ll start practicing answers. “Tell me about yourself”, “What are your weaknesses” “Why should I hire you”. I walk around my apartment answering those questions out loud. Yes it makes me look like an idiot but it is surprisingly effective.
Well, last night I turned a corner. While looking in the mirror while giving my spiel I realized that I was excited and psyched to be interviewing. I dig the position I’m interviewing for, I like the company and I so want the change and the challenge. That was a great feeling that I haven’t had for a very long time. When I get my confidence it is a beautiful thing. Not as beautiful as a well cast Fireball spell but nothing in life is perfect.
Monday, March 03, 2008
Time to hit the bookstore
Note to those who are interested in this sort of thing: In order to prepare for my second round interview tomorrow I spent the night with my Jeff Buckley: Live in Chicago DVD playing in the background. Yes, I am that serious about my preparation for this one. I listened to this DVD before every exam in B-School. When I need to place myself in the right mental framework this is what I utilize. If anyone wants to send positive vibes my way on Tuesday afternoon I would really appreciate it. For those wishing to send negative vibes I would like to suggest that schadenfreude is not the best use of one’s time. But wish me luck all the same.
Time to talk about books. Those of you who have admitted to being my friend on Facebook (not entirely an easy thing to do, at times I wish that there was a way to categorize someone as “a person whose existence I acknowledge”) will notice that I am now utilizing the Virtual Bookshelf app. It should come as no surprise that I have kept track of every book that I have read since 1998 so I am going to try to add all of those to my bookshelf. I’d try to account for everything in my apartment as well but I have way too many books. I even gave up on keeping track of them in a spreadsheet and I enjoy spreadsheets. Still, if you want to get a sense of my tastes that is a good place to start.
Thanks for all the great recommendations on books to read. Thought that I should share some of my thoughts on them.
Books suggested that I have actually read:
“To Kill a Mockingbird” by Harper Lee: I’m still upset by the complete lack of hunting advice in this novel. How can you have the words “kill” and “bird” in the title and not talk about proper technique? I read this book last year, which is kind of sad when I say that I am well read.
“The Grapes of Wrath” by John Steinbeck: Read as part of my goal to read the top 10 novels of the 20th century.
“The Road” by Cormac McCarthy: Read while on vacation last summer. Suggestion to everyone else: do not read this on vacation. It’s a bit of a bummer. Great book just unbelievably depressing.
Anything by Neil Gaiman: I’ve read everything by Neil Gaiman. I own a comic book signed by Neil Gaiman. I have collections of academic essays on the works of Neil Gaiman. I’m really impressed that someone would suggest this just because I like the fact that other people recognize his genius.
“A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius” by Dave Eggers: Read on a plane flying home from Dublin. A plane that had two screaming infants, a small child kicking my backseat across all of Canada, and a bad Jim Carrey film as my entertainment options. Good book, especially in those circumstances.
Suggestions that I want to read / embarrassed that I haven’t:
John Irving: I’ve never read any John Irving. I’ve had a copy of Garp that has not been opened past page ten (despite being with me on a few transatlantic flights) and for some reason I just have not been able to get into it. Really need to read some of his work.
Steve Martin Autobiography: I asked for this for Christmas but apparently Santa and I have different definitions of “good”. Actually, I got the Charles Schultz biography instead and I’m working my way through that at a rather slow pace. Really want to read this because I dig Steve Martin’s writing. The Pleasure of my Company is a favorite of mine in part because it is so simple.
Bill Bryson stuff: A few years ago I started to read a lot of travel books possibly in a subconscious effort to deal with the fact that I don’t do much travelling. It’s strange then that I never bothered to pick up anything by Bill Bryson. Seems like a simple and fun read and I could use more of those.
Jane Austen: Now that I think of it, I don’t believe that I have read any Jane Austen. The only thing in that entire genre that I have ever read is Wuthering Heights, which is really odd given how much I dig British authors. Women discussing potential suitors in parlors never seemed to be my cup of tea though that might explain all of the other issues that I have in my life. Again, someone I need to read to at least give a better impression of being well read. Plus, Jane Austen is always a trivia question.
I’ll read more of these suggestions as well as I get around to them. The others I’ve heard of or have no idea what they are about, which is even more interesting. My favorite part of reading is finding a new author who opens my eyes to another part of life. I know people say that novels are a dying art but I’m not getting rid of my library anytime soon. There is just something so satisfying about holding a book in your hands, looking at the bookmark and seeing how far there is to go, and losing yourself in another’s words. I’ll take it over watching a bad sitcom any day.
Though when How I Met Your Mother and The Big Bang Theory return in two weeks the books will definitely be put to the side for an hour.
Time to talk about books. Those of you who have admitted to being my friend on Facebook (not entirely an easy thing to do, at times I wish that there was a way to categorize someone as “a person whose existence I acknowledge”) will notice that I am now utilizing the Virtual Bookshelf app. It should come as no surprise that I have kept track of every book that I have read since 1998 so I am going to try to add all of those to my bookshelf. I’d try to account for everything in my apartment as well but I have way too many books. I even gave up on keeping track of them in a spreadsheet and I enjoy spreadsheets. Still, if you want to get a sense of my tastes that is a good place to start.
Thanks for all the great recommendations on books to read. Thought that I should share some of my thoughts on them.
Books suggested that I have actually read:
“To Kill a Mockingbird” by Harper Lee: I’m still upset by the complete lack of hunting advice in this novel. How can you have the words “kill” and “bird” in the title and not talk about proper technique? I read this book last year, which is kind of sad when I say that I am well read.
“The Grapes of Wrath” by John Steinbeck: Read as part of my goal to read the top 10 novels of the 20th century.
“The Road” by Cormac McCarthy: Read while on vacation last summer. Suggestion to everyone else: do not read this on vacation. It’s a bit of a bummer. Great book just unbelievably depressing.
Anything by Neil Gaiman: I’ve read everything by Neil Gaiman. I own a comic book signed by Neil Gaiman. I have collections of academic essays on the works of Neil Gaiman. I’m really impressed that someone would suggest this just because I like the fact that other people recognize his genius.
“A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius” by Dave Eggers: Read on a plane flying home from Dublin. A plane that had two screaming infants, a small child kicking my backseat across all of Canada, and a bad Jim Carrey film as my entertainment options. Good book, especially in those circumstances.
Suggestions that I want to read / embarrassed that I haven’t:
John Irving: I’ve never read any John Irving. I’ve had a copy of Garp that has not been opened past page ten (despite being with me on a few transatlantic flights) and for some reason I just have not been able to get into it. Really need to read some of his work.
Steve Martin Autobiography: I asked for this for Christmas but apparently Santa and I have different definitions of “good”. Actually, I got the Charles Schultz biography instead and I’m working my way through that at a rather slow pace. Really want to read this because I dig Steve Martin’s writing. The Pleasure of my Company is a favorite of mine in part because it is so simple.
Bill Bryson stuff: A few years ago I started to read a lot of travel books possibly in a subconscious effort to deal with the fact that I don’t do much travelling. It’s strange then that I never bothered to pick up anything by Bill Bryson. Seems like a simple and fun read and I could use more of those.
Jane Austen: Now that I think of it, I don’t believe that I have read any Jane Austen. The only thing in that entire genre that I have ever read is Wuthering Heights, which is really odd given how much I dig British authors. Women discussing potential suitors in parlors never seemed to be my cup of tea though that might explain all of the other issues that I have in my life. Again, someone I need to read to at least give a better impression of being well read. Plus, Jane Austen is always a trivia question.
I’ll read more of these suggestions as well as I get around to them. The others I’ve heard of or have no idea what they are about, which is even more interesting. My favorite part of reading is finding a new author who opens my eyes to another part of life. I know people say that novels are a dying art but I’m not getting rid of my library anytime soon. There is just something so satisfying about holding a book in your hands, looking at the bookmark and seeing how far there is to go, and losing yourself in another’s words. I’ll take it over watching a bad sitcom any day.
Though when How I Met Your Mother and The Big Bang Theory return in two weeks the books will definitely be put to the side for an hour.
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Nothing ever happens to me...
Recently I had someone ask me why I don’t write the blog on weekends. It’s actually a pretty good question especially as I seem to have picked up some new readers along the way who weren’t around when this thing got started. Here is the answer in the nutshell: I find topics to write about based on interesting things I see and I can barely find five days worth of creativity much less seven.
Really what it is is that sometimes my life gets really, really boring and that often occurs on the weekend. The song “Working for the Weekend” really doesn’t apply to me. For one thing, I’m opposed to any song sung by a guy in a headband. What usually happens is that I spend my weekends taking care of all the errands I neglected to do during the week so instead of spending my Saturdays discussing Wittgenstein at the institute or more likely being found in gin mills and houses of ill repute I end up spending Saturday nights doing laundry, which is precisely what I did this weekend.
I also went grocery shopping, cleaned my apartment, burned a few CDs, tried on my interview suit (it still fits so I’m apparently not as fat as I feared), avoided getting a haircut, paid my bills, checked out my credit history, finished a collection of Nick Hornby essays, hung out at a bar and prepped for my interviews this week. None of these items are what you would call very exciting; just the day to day workload we all seem to undertake. Until I learn to outsource better this will account for much of my weekend.
True, I could write about the brilliant book suggestions that came in on the last post and I probably will tomorrow. I still need to think through how to write my responses. Some of the suggestions I’ve read, some I haven’t and some I might need a translator for. I am also upset that no one recommended any Star Wars novels, possibly due to the assumption that I have already read them all. While obviously true it wouldn’t have hurt anyone to ask.
But back to the five days a week posting. Part of it is due to the fact that I don’t know if I could be creative for 600 words every night. Another part is that I write at night and I would hope that I would have better things to do on a Friday or Saturday night than stare at my computer screen. Sometimes that better thing is watch a rerun of House but it’s the thought that matters. But the real reason is the entire idea behind the blog. I write five nights a week, Sunday through Thursday. That means that you could check the website every morning at work and find a new entry. That’s what I really want to provide. A five minute respite from work where I share something interesting, thought provoking and hopefully funny. If I accomplish that I think I’m doing my job of providing the best free entertainment that money can buy.
Best of 120 Minutes: No real reason for including this song other than it is entirely the type of video that I would end up watching at midnight on Sunday in college while I finish off my work. Which is exactly the position I find myself in right now. The more things change the more they stay the same.
The five random CDs for the week: (For the record I am 83% of the way through my collection)
1) The Subdudes “Behind the Levee”
2) Garrison Starr “Songs From Take-Off to Landing”
3) Cowboy Junkies “Black Eyed Man”
4) Cowboy Mouth “Mouthing Off Live and More”
5) The Polyphonic Spree “The Beginning Stages of...”
Really what it is is that sometimes my life gets really, really boring and that often occurs on the weekend. The song “Working for the Weekend” really doesn’t apply to me. For one thing, I’m opposed to any song sung by a guy in a headband. What usually happens is that I spend my weekends taking care of all the errands I neglected to do during the week so instead of spending my Saturdays discussing Wittgenstein at the institute or more likely being found in gin mills and houses of ill repute I end up spending Saturday nights doing laundry, which is precisely what I did this weekend.
I also went grocery shopping, cleaned my apartment, burned a few CDs, tried on my interview suit (it still fits so I’m apparently not as fat as I feared), avoided getting a haircut, paid my bills, checked out my credit history, finished a collection of Nick Hornby essays, hung out at a bar and prepped for my interviews this week. None of these items are what you would call very exciting; just the day to day workload we all seem to undertake. Until I learn to outsource better this will account for much of my weekend.
True, I could write about the brilliant book suggestions that came in on the last post and I probably will tomorrow. I still need to think through how to write my responses. Some of the suggestions I’ve read, some I haven’t and some I might need a translator for. I am also upset that no one recommended any Star Wars novels, possibly due to the assumption that I have already read them all. While obviously true it wouldn’t have hurt anyone to ask.
But back to the five days a week posting. Part of it is due to the fact that I don’t know if I could be creative for 600 words every night. Another part is that I write at night and I would hope that I would have better things to do on a Friday or Saturday night than stare at my computer screen. Sometimes that better thing is watch a rerun of House but it’s the thought that matters. But the real reason is the entire idea behind the blog. I write five nights a week, Sunday through Thursday. That means that you could check the website every morning at work and find a new entry. That’s what I really want to provide. A five minute respite from work where I share something interesting, thought provoking and hopefully funny. If I accomplish that I think I’m doing my job of providing the best free entertainment that money can buy.
Best of 120 Minutes: No real reason for including this song other than it is entirely the type of video that I would end up watching at midnight on Sunday in college while I finish off my work. Which is exactly the position I find myself in right now. The more things change the more they stay the same.
The five random CDs for the week: (For the record I am 83% of the way through my collection)
1) The Subdudes “Behind the Levee”
2) Garrison Starr “Songs From Take-Off to Landing”
3) Cowboy Junkies “Black Eyed Man”
4) Cowboy Mouth “Mouthing Off Live and More”
5) The Polyphonic Spree “The Beginning Stages of...”
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