I continue to find watching The Biggest Loser fascinating. It’s the only time where you can see an overweight person lose four pounds in a week and be completely ashamed at their lack of accomplishment. I’ve talked about this before but the show is just cruel at times while often breaking into self parody. Such as the trainer tips that are simply embedded commercials. Once or twice in each episode a trainer will be with two of the contestants and discuss cooking “using Pam nonstick spray” or storing your salad in “Ziplock freezer containers.” Tonight they just broke down and showed a pack of Extra sugarfree gum sitting on a windowsill for no reason whatsoever.
We also had a trainer talking back to the host (an actress from Days of Our Lives who probably appreciates a second paycheck for simply saying “Tonight you weigh…”) for asking what she considered mean questions. I mean, come on. You are a cast member on a freaking game show. These people have been doing this for months now. Pointing out that odds are they aren’t going to win is not the worst thing in the world. It just seemed so over the top that it was almost nonsensical.
On a similar subject did anyone else see the news story about the 800 pound man whose date was cancelled due to an “accident”? No, it did not involve anything like a floor collapse, don’t be so cynical now. Apparently there is a guy in Mexico who weighed 1,200 pounds. He’s since lost 400 pounds and to celebrate that rather impressive feat he was going to leave the house and go on a date with his girlfriend. However, plans got derailed when the canopy top of the truck he was riding in struck a streetlight, fell apart and the guy started sweating too much so they took him back home. This story leaves me with one question and one question only. How can an 800 pound man pick up a girlfriend while I can’t? Does that just define how big of a loser I actually am?
On a lighter note (get it, lighter note? Ah if I didn’t laugh at myself I’d be forced to spend all day listening to The Cure) the other big news story is Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island being sentenced for having pot in her car. This definitely changes the whole Ginger vs. Mary Ann question. Ginger is prettier and sultrier and would draw more attention hanging from your arm in a bar but would also be high maintenance and require a large clothes allowance. Mary Ann is wholesome, can cook a coconut cream pie and apparently knows where to score some pot. Mary Ann it is then. Unless you’re just in it for the money in which Mrs. Howell has to be discussed but I’ll avoid that topic for the time being.
Oh, and one other news items that made my week. Battlebots is coming back! On ESPN no less because battling robots is clearly the future of sports. It will be a competition between college teams so I apparently will need to reenroll to enter. Maybe I can lead the University of Phoenix online team or something. I mean, nothing can compare to my modified Roomba vacuum cleaner with the spinning blades of death. Some people will question why Battlebots is suitable for ESPN. I would like to point out that this is the network that features non-stop poker coverage, old bull riding competitions on ESPN Classic, and seemingly nightly episodes of the “Giant foreign men lifting large objects” competition. Fighting robots is actually a step in the right direction.
We also had a trainer talking back to the host (an actress from Days of Our Lives who probably appreciates a second paycheck for simply saying “Tonight you weigh…”) for asking what she considered mean questions. I mean, come on. You are a cast member on a freaking game show. These people have been doing this for months now. Pointing out that odds are they aren’t going to win is not the worst thing in the world. It just seemed so over the top that it was almost nonsensical.
On a similar subject did anyone else see the news story about the 800 pound man whose date was cancelled due to an “accident”? No, it did not involve anything like a floor collapse, don’t be so cynical now. Apparently there is a guy in Mexico who weighed 1,200 pounds. He’s since lost 400 pounds and to celebrate that rather impressive feat he was going to leave the house and go on a date with his girlfriend. However, plans got derailed when the canopy top of the truck he was riding in struck a streetlight, fell apart and the guy started sweating too much so they took him back home. This story leaves me with one question and one question only. How can an 800 pound man pick up a girlfriend while I can’t? Does that just define how big of a loser I actually am?
On a lighter note (get it, lighter note? Ah if I didn’t laugh at myself I’d be forced to spend all day listening to The Cure) the other big news story is Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island being sentenced for having pot in her car. This definitely changes the whole Ginger vs. Mary Ann question. Ginger is prettier and sultrier and would draw more attention hanging from your arm in a bar but would also be high maintenance and require a large clothes allowance. Mary Ann is wholesome, can cook a coconut cream pie and apparently knows where to score some pot. Mary Ann it is then. Unless you’re just in it for the money in which Mrs. Howell has to be discussed but I’ll avoid that topic for the time being.
Oh, and one other news items that made my week. Battlebots is coming back! On ESPN no less because battling robots is clearly the future of sports. It will be a competition between college teams so I apparently will need to reenroll to enter. Maybe I can lead the University of Phoenix online team or something. I mean, nothing can compare to my modified Roomba vacuum cleaner with the spinning blades of death. Some people will question why Battlebots is suitable for ESPN. I would like to point out that this is the network that features non-stop poker coverage, old bull riding competitions on ESPN Classic, and seemingly nightly episodes of the “Giant foreign men lifting large objects” competition. Fighting robots is actually a step in the right direction.
1 comment:
So funny...
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