A monologue in dialogue form

Think I’ll finish the week with a little Q and A. It’s not quite the Infrequently Asked Questions but some things just work better as a dialogue.

Q: So you really are leaving your job?
A: Yep, my last day is March 28th.
Q: Feel like changing your mind right about now?
A: Not really. I applied for the separation package with the caveat that I could change my mind if I found that I had apparently no value on the job market. Since I’ve had interviews and people emailing me to ask if I was interested in a position I feel that I should be able to get a job somewhere in this world.
Q: True but weren’t some of those emails woefully misguided?
A: Yeah, I’m not quite sure why people want to hire me as a speech therapist. Apparently according to one job engine I have a strong background in the health care industry. Now I admit that my resume is often schizophrenic and there are parts of my past that are cloudy even to me but I don’t ever recall working in the health care industry. I’m an experienced customer of it but I’ve never provided any service.
Q: So I guess given this and the earnings announcement you’re happy with your decision?
A: That certainly helped me to conclude that I’m making the right decision. Seeing the company reduced to junk bond status really hurts me given that I spent over a year of my life working to improve our credit ratings. The place is in for a long haul for rebuilding and while I see the possibilities of a turnaround it’s not the right place for me right now.
Q: Everything is rainbows and unicorns for you then, huh?
A: Of course not. I’m pretty much scared to death right now. I realized a few days ago that on March 31 I will wake up not knowing what I am going to do with my life next for the first time ever. I graduated college with a job in hand, left my first job and went directly to grad school, and left grad school with a job. I’ve never not been working. I’m not sure how I am going to handle it.
Q: Wait, I thought you said your last day was the 28th. Why would this realization only come to you on the 31st?
A: Partly because it’s a Monday and partly because I have a feeling that that is going to be a very interesting weekend.
Q: How are you going to handle all of this free time then?
A: I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently. I’ve come up with a schedule that should work. I’ll spend three to four hours a day working on finding a job (sending out resumes, networking, researching, interviewing and the like). I’ll work out every day, maybe finally earn my Deadspin commenter privileges and spend some time on their blog, and get a lot of writing done.
Q: So upon leaving a job where you spent all day looking at a computer you are going to then spend all your time looking at a computer?
A: Yes but now it will be a pants optional working environment.
Q: Do you think we really needed to have that image implanted in our minds?
A: The alternative was a joke that included the phrase “only a thong and a smile.”
Q: Moving on, what are you going to write?
A: That’s one that I want to ask the people who read this. Given that I feel that I have one major writing project in me and this is the best opportunity I may ever have to write 60,000 words in one fell swoop I want to know what people would like to read. I assume that everyone who reads this is my audience for this (and this would actually be a self-published enterprise that I’ll foot the bill for). Would you rather see me write a novel (romantic comedy in the vein of High Fidelity) or would you rather have a collection of essays both fiction and non-fiction in the style of David Sedaris or Sarah Vowell? For now post your thoughts in the comments. If I figure out how to post a poll I will run that as well. Need answers by the end of the month please.
Q: How have the interviews been going so far?
A: Not bad. I’m actually interviewing for jobs that I’m qualified for which is a bit of a first for me. Typically I’m switching career paths and have to try to get hired on the basis that I’m a good bet to be successful. So far I’ve been interviewing within my field and knock on wood (or smack my head into the desk) it’s been going well. I’m still a bit away from actually getting offers but I haven’t had any doors slammed in my face either.
Q: So you really are going through with it?
A: Yeah, I don’t believe it either. I’m six months from my thirty fifth birthday and I’m facing the world with a clean slate. Can go anywhere I want to. Recreate my life however I see fit. Not too many people get this opportunity. I want to make the most of it.
Q: Or you’ll spend the entire time watching old Voltron episodes.
A: Look, some things will never change.

Enjoy the weekend everyone.