The harpist in the garden...

First off, I hope that everyone had a very merry Dyngus Day today. What, you don’t know what Dyngus Day is? It is simply the best holiday ever. Consider it a reverse Mardi Gras. Well, not in the “I’ll give you beads if you put your shirt back on” sense of the term but from a theological standpoint it is very similar. See, on Mardi Gras you go wild because it is your last chance to have fun before you have to give up all of your bad habits for Lent. Dyngus Day works the same way as it is the day after Easter and we can go back to our ways of sin and debauchery. Also, sauerkraut is involved. Don’t ask me why, it just is.

Actually, back in my Czech homeland we would celebrate this day in the following way. A young single male such as myself would sneak into the house of the girl he was pining for, pour water over her head while she slept, and then whip her across the legs with long twigs. I’m not making this up. It says so on Wikipedia and we all know Wikipedia doesn’t lie. Sometimes I wonder why we left the old country behind. I think this would be a great tradition to continue, restraining orders aside.

Speaking of things that are going to result in a restraining order after a week of careful deliberation I have come up with my solution to the Say Anything dilemma. Since I no longer have a boom box and holding an iPod docking station over my head seems rather pathetic I have decided that I must up the ante. Yes, one day a lucky lady will find myself outside her window with a backing band. And since I have money and a strange sense of humor it won’t be any band; it will be The Polyphonic Spree. Imagine the sight: waking up to see twenty five people dressed in white choir robes dancing and singing and playing music in someone’s yard while I directed the action in an attempt to prove my undying love for whoever was at that moment most likely calling the cops. That said, I don’t thinking being too awesome for words should technically be considered a crime.

(To get a sense of what this would be like they kind of did this on an episode of Scrubs. And I do look like Zach Braff if I lose the glasses and intentionally dishevel my hair as opposed to its usual unintentionally disheveled state.)



I have a couple of notes on The Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother that I have been meaning to mention. First off, while I will always consider myself to be a Fitzgerald in search of his Zelda or a Gatsby in search of his Daisy it might be better if I just say that I am a Leonard in search of his Penny. True, I prefer the Fitzgerald reference (even if he did die an alcoholic in Hollywood) and Gatsby certainly had more style (being shot to death in his pool aside) the Leonard reference is probably more accurate. That’s pretty much me. Good guy, too smart for his own good, who wants to fall in love and be in a relationship but can’t because his brain always seems to get in the way. Also, he did hook up with Darlene from Roseanne so he does have that going for him.

Best reference in last week’s show that explains how my mind works: The guys wiring up their entire apartment so that they can control everything through the internet and then granting open access to the entire world to turn their lights on and off. Why? Because they can. Is there another reason?

I watched last week’s episode of How I Met Your Mother last night and once again that show seemed to be taken from my life. It’s kind of stunning given what I had written right before I watched it. Ted, my slightly cooler alter ego, goes too far one night, wakes up with a black eye, and is finally shown that he is going in the wrong direction. Pretty much dead on to what I’m going through; that realization that you have become someone you don’t particularly like. Since Ted apparently picked up the umbrella of his future life we can only hope that both of our lives are headed in the right direction.

Also, tonight’s episode was classic with the two minute date. Sure, you might not be able to get that to work so flawlessly in real life but in terms of turning a no into a yes it is probably a great move. Plus, I loved the fact that it showed that trying all of the games and schemes failed miserably mainly because I can’t pull them off. Maybe if I just be who I am then things will work out. Wow, be myself. That idea is so crazy it just might work.

Oh, and Brit’s performance tonight? Not bad. She didn’t set the set on fire or anything. I’m speaking literally here as in the fire department was not called in. It was a pretty harmless guest spot, she didn’t blow a line or seem completely out of it and if you ignored everything that has happened in the past few years it would seem pretty inconsequential. For her, this can be considered progress.