Topics that may not be, in fact, topical

Starting note: For those of you who work with me (or have worked with me) in that large collection of buildings somewhere in Kansas I just want to remind you that my leaving work happy hour is Wednesday night. Please stop by because it would be really, really sad if I was the only one there. Not as sad as the time when everyone in the building was sent home early due to snow except no one bothered to tell me and I didn’t notice until I took off my headphones and realized that no one else was around. (That’s a true story, by the way). Anyway, email me if you need the details. To prevent confusion, this is not to be confused with my Trivia Victory Lap or Last Night in KC celebrations. Both of those will take place once I figure out where life is taking me next and I’ll be sure to let everyone know.

(Looks like I’ll be here until June if just to see the greatest concert double bill ever: Chicago and the Doobie Brothers. I’m not kidding, I got an email about this today. Kansas City, now only 28 years behind the times.)

Comment on the last post: “Think of it as monetizing your desire to be taken seriously as a potential suitor”

Finally, advice that actually makes sense to me! Why hasn’t anyone used financing analogies before in offering me relationship advice? I understand discount rates; can’t we frame the discussion in those terms as opposed to all of these vague terms like “emotions” and “attraction”? Could I just go up to a woman and say, “Trust me, you’ll be duly impressed by my cash flow” and just leave it at that? Then break out a detailed spreadsheet to seal the deal? I can at least dream, can’t I?

Here is a reason why I am looking forward to unemployment in two weeks. So I went out last night for St. Patrick’s Day but had to leave early because I had a 9 AM meeting that I had to be functional for. In some ways that is a good thing (because I probably shouldn’t be spending Monday night in a bar) but in many more ways that is a horrible thing (because it is friggin St. Patrick’s Day, the one day where I can wear all my Notre Dame gear with pride and have a blast.) Get to work this morning, more bitter than hungover, check my email and find out that the meeting had been cancelled. Which would have been great information to have, I don’t know, last night! So I screwed over my social life for a meeting that didn’t exist in a job I’m quitting. Luckily unemployment will give me control over my schedule again. Sure, all I will do is watch daytime tv but damn it, my hand will be on the remote.

Ok, I want to analyze each region in the NCAA tournament but I’ve already hit a lot of topics tonight so I’ll just do the East Regional tonight and I’ll catch the other three tomorrow.

East Region: This bracket features my three most hated teams in existence as well as the one I will be actively cheering for. My Irish pulled a five seed, which is about right, and I can see them getting past George Mason and then Winthrop, who I’m picking mainly because I think the team is comprised of snooty English butlers. They might not have the hops of some of the other teams but they play a rather refined style of basketball.

Indiana is led by the traitor Eric Gordon who was fouled by Illinois during the pre-game introductions. They’ll get past Arkansas but then collapse because, well, they are Indiana, that’s what they do. In some other first round upsets I’d take South Alabama over Butler because the game is in Birmingham and St. Joe’s over Oklahoma because I believe that there is only one basketball in the entire state of Oklahoma.

Really this is a two team bracket. North Carolina is led by Tyler Hansborough, who looks that frat guy in college who spent his entire time in English 101 discussing how awesome their Barn Dance was going to be. I’m not encouraging anyone to give him a hard foul. I’d prefer a steel chair to the skull. Tennessee is coached by Bruce Pearl who along with Bono is most responsible for my crappy college experience. (Bruce Pearl snitched on the Illini and put us on probation while U2 cancelled a concert and cost me a date because apparently St. Bono didn’t want me to score.) Personally, I’ll be cheering for American in their first round against the Volunteers because, well, it would be un-American otherwise. It sickens me to say that Pearl, who shouldn’t even be allowed on a college campus much less coach, will get this team to the final eight and then North Carolina and their crappy uniforms will make the Final Four.

No Depression Week: If there is a current poster child for No Depression and all of its good and bad qualities it would be Ryan Adams. He is alternately a genius and a complete screw up depending on how he feels at the time. Starting with Whiskeytown he has written some amazing music that spans from pure country to hard edged rock. He also has screwed up relationships with Parker Posey, Beth Orton, My Beloved Lindsay, Winona Ryder and probably a dozen that I have forgotten by now. Judge his genius for yourself with “Come Lift Me Up” from Letterman. Performance would have been better if they would have kept in the swearing.