This week on Bumper Stumpers...

If there is one thing that I am going to miss about not having a commute (other than getting to discover how many ways Kansas City can avoid filling in potholes) it is going to be not seeing so many wonderful vanity plates. Here are the two best from this week.

GUNGIRL: Remind me to never, under any possible circumstances, cut off a car with this license plate. I doubt that I would live to see the next traffic light. This is roughly the automotive equivalent of carrying a sign that reads “Will kick your ass for food.”

(By the way, there is a guy who stands on a corner I drive by who holds a sign that reads “Need money for tobacco and alcohol research.” I give him points for honesty.)

BJ-LOU: This is a rather unfortunate plate. After seeing the person in the car I’m pretty sure that this car is owned by a rather nice couple who refer to each other as B.J. and Lou. I bet they are incredibly sweet towards one another and are happier than I have ever been in my entire life. Still, that doesn’t stop the kid in me from seeing that plate on a Monday morning and start laughing hysterically because, look, it’s BJ LOU.

Yeah, I’m still a guy who at one point felt that convincing a girl to come back to my apartment after the bars closed to watch old Beavis and Butthead episodes was a good idea. That’s not even some bizarre euphemism; my plan was for us to watch some old episodes I had on DVD. At the time this seemed like a perfectly logical way to win over her heart. This is what happens when people order me shots of tequila. Which reminds me…I need to watch those DVDs on Monday.

Random Facebook Note: I know that I’m not the only person who receives random Facebook advertising links. It is an interesting way to discover what marketers think of you. Recently I had been receiving a lot of “Hot single women in your area want to meet you” ads. Apparently they have factored in that I hadn’t clicked on those because over the weekend I started to get hair loss ads. I’m not making this up. Even Facebook assumes that my lack of confidence with women is somehow tied to my current hairstyle. For the record I have a fine mass of luxurious hair that is going gray in a very dignified manner. So please Facebook overlords, can I avoid having to see some bald guy’s head every time I log on?

Oh, and before I click on the other ads I want more definitive proof that they are actually a) hot, b) single, c) women, d) in my area and e) want to meet me. I’ll take four of the five, (ok, three to be honest) but C is going to have to be in the equation somewhere.

One last random, somewhat geeky note. I’m really upset that they are basically going to kill the Mars Rovers due to budget cuts. They’ll continue to fund the space station, which no one wants and serves no purpose, but they are going to turn off the greatest machines ever built. Think about this. Spirit and Opportunity have been rolling around Mars for four years now with no way for on the spot repairs. The hope was that they would survive three months and that was if they survived the landing in one piece. I really consider the rovers to be one of the greatest feats of engineering ever. Why we will kill a program that is actually working is beyond me. There might be a few other areas of government that could use a few less million in funding.