When you have been online for as long as I have you end up with a large number of email addresses. Some are the official ones that you give to people when they meet and others are for some of the activities that you undertake online that you would rather not be directly linked to your name. Those are the accounts you check occasionally to see what interesting emails come your way.
That was the case yesterday when I checked my email to find that I had received an email from the speed dating people. You all remember my speed dating adventure at the beginning of the year (if not, check the January archive.) Well, seems like they were having another session last week and they were short of men and they wondered if I would be willingly to attend for free. To which I would pleasantly like to reply, “Screw you! I have a girlfriend now! I never want to have to experience that torture again!”
To be honest, I am trying to figure out how you would volunteer to go again. While the first time I paid for the privilege to be rejected by a dozen women in this case I would go through the entire rejection process out of the goodness of my own heart because otherwise there would be empty tables. It’s like “I’m such a nice guy I am going to appear here just so you have another guy to say “Nope, not my type” to.” Because really, that is the entire point of speed dating. I’d much rather stay with the best girlfriend on the planet, thank you very much.
In other news I would like to congratulate Penn State on being named the number one party school in the nation. Yes, they beat out Florida this year followed by Mississippi, Georgia and Ohio (not The Ohio State, just Ohio.) I feel at least a slight sense of pride in that the Big Ten was finally able to defeat the SEC in something. Especially given that we start with a huge disadvantage in terms of bikini weather. However, I have to hang my head a little in terms of the poor showing by my Illini. This is what happens when the pride and joy of your school is the engineering campus.
In fact, let us look at the two greatest developments in the history of the University of Illinois (not counting the Morrow Plots, the oldest experimental cornfield in existence.) They are 1) Hugh Hefner (who lived in my dorm) and 2) Mosaic/Netscape (developed by guys in my physics class.) Thus Illinois provided the world with not only Playboy and the subsequent proliferation of paper based pornography but we also created the platform for internet pornography. This is what happens when one whole portion of the campus is only ten percent female. You really do not want to know about the developments taking place in the hologram labs. Other than they are truly, truly, truly outrageous.
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