All just to get to you

I spend a lot of time in airports. That seems to be the nature of my life at the moment. What is strange is that I am not one of those road warrior corporate employees who are never in the same city for more than two days at a time. While I travel for work occassionaly it has never been the focus of my travel stories. Nope, it is just that the nature of my life has me flying a lot to get anywhere interesting. That is just what happens when you live in such exotic locales as Kansas City and Delaware.

I do have to say that as someone who has flown into and out of numerous airports I have never found one that is as mind boggilingly frustrating as the Philadelphia airport. It was apparently designed by Ben Franklin when he was under the impression that we would all travel by zeppelin. There isn't a single thing about that airport that makes a lick of sense. You know it is bad that when you step out of the garage and into the terminal that the carpet splashes due to some unseen leak but that is the least of my issues.

First off, the terminals lack that wonder of the world: the moving walkways. I know this doesn't sound like much and I appreciate the fact that I can get a workout in while getting to my gate but the typical American is not accustomed to walking. Add the fact that the concourses seem incredibly narrow with kiosks selling Rosetta Stone software and buttons from various countries attacking you at all moments and you have efficient traveler me constantly stuck behind people who are moving as slowly as possible. To the point that even I want to bean them with my backpack just to get them to move.

Once I get to the gate my problems still aren't solved. There never seems to be enough seats and I don't believe that they have ever figured out the concept of temperature control. Heating and cooling seem non-existent and when they do exist it is the opposite of the one you want. I also have encountered the gate next to the employee only elevator. Do you know how an elevator beeps when it comes to your floor. Well, instead of a beep this one had a ten second long ear piercing whail. Now have that happen roughly once every four minutes as you wait to board the plane. And boarding the plane always seems to have a whole eastern european flair to it as you tend to end up in numerous lines with people waving tickets in the air and bellowing in about five languages.

Eventually you get on a plane and you want to breathe a sigh of relief that you are now going to be on your way. You pull out of the gate and then you wait. And wait. And wait. A 40 minute wait to get airborne is typical and a two hour wait is not unheard of. All of this during that time period where cel phones and iPods are prohibited from use. They just book so many flights to take off into the northeast corridor that any inconvenience (a drop of rain, a slight gust of wind, a butterfly flapping its wings in Argentina) will cause the airport to go into a complete standstill. It is just maddening.

Still, I know who is waiting for me on the other end of these nightmare flights. And when I finally arrive and see her it makes all the annoyances and petty grievances worthwhile. Because at the end of the day I will go through anything just to see her.