The older I get the more life disappoints me. Over the weekend I saw a sign on a movie theater that promoted the film “G Force” and my first reaction was, logically, “Cool! They are making a live action version of Battle of the Planets!” Oh, how mistaken I was.
First I should explain how I got from G Force to Battle of the Planets. See, they both trace their existence to this anime series Gatchaman. Essentially this show was Voltron except that instead of lions they were birds. The series was brought over to the US on two separate occasions: once as Battle of the Planets and once as G-Force. This made things incredibly confusing as they were technically the same shows; just edited and presented differently. I prefer the Battle of the Planets version which had Tiny and the Princess. Actually, let me speak for a moment here on the Princess.
It is a rule of all science fiction / fantasy series to have one female character and that character is always royalty. In Voltron and Battle of the Planets the female member of our team of five was a princess. In the entire Star Wars series Padme and Leia are the only two female characters who are memorable and they both are royalty (and no, Mon Motha doesn’t count as significant.) It is never explained where all of the other women are as they are completely non-existent in these universes. Nor is it ever explained that in a society where bloodlines are the key to the ruling class that the heirs to the throne are allowed to put themselves in great danger at all times. This has always bothered me.
Anyway, G Force / Battle of the Planets was one of my favorite shows as a kid. It had your typical cast of characters that mirrored Voltron: Not only did you have your token female but all teams were required to have one fat guy and one little kid who always made you wonder why the safety of the planet was placed in the hands of a ten year old. You had monsters and spaceships and alien attacks and laser beams and all of the things that made life great. So you could see that I had high hopes in learning that there would be a G Force movie in a few weeks.
Until I found out that it is about gerbils. Jive talking, secret agent gerbils. Or possibly hamsters. I doubt that it really matters.
Even though I worked in marketing and made my living by doing the opposite I really feel there needs to be truth in advertising laws. At a time when every single childhood memory of mine is being prepackaged into fun size portions and presented at my local multiplex when I see the words G Force I was to see kids in bird costumes fighting aliens and not talking rodents! Is that too much to freaking ask? If they are making an Asteroids movie (seriously, based on the video game. I shit you not) can’t I get a G-Force movie without hip hamsters?
Screw this. I’m going back to watch my Voltron DVDs in peace.
Wednesday Night Music Club: Take it home Gorillaz…
First I should explain how I got from G Force to Battle of the Planets. See, they both trace their existence to this anime series Gatchaman. Essentially this show was Voltron except that instead of lions they were birds. The series was brought over to the US on two separate occasions: once as Battle of the Planets and once as G-Force. This made things incredibly confusing as they were technically the same shows; just edited and presented differently. I prefer the Battle of the Planets version which had Tiny and the Princess. Actually, let me speak for a moment here on the Princess.
It is a rule of all science fiction / fantasy series to have one female character and that character is always royalty. In Voltron and Battle of the Planets the female member of our team of five was a princess. In the entire Star Wars series Padme and Leia are the only two female characters who are memorable and they both are royalty (and no, Mon Motha doesn’t count as significant.) It is never explained where all of the other women are as they are completely non-existent in these universes. Nor is it ever explained that in a society where bloodlines are the key to the ruling class that the heirs to the throne are allowed to put themselves in great danger at all times. This has always bothered me.
Anyway, G Force / Battle of the Planets was one of my favorite shows as a kid. It had your typical cast of characters that mirrored Voltron: Not only did you have your token female but all teams were required to have one fat guy and one little kid who always made you wonder why the safety of the planet was placed in the hands of a ten year old. You had monsters and spaceships and alien attacks and laser beams and all of the things that made life great. So you could see that I had high hopes in learning that there would be a G Force movie in a few weeks.
Until I found out that it is about gerbils. Jive talking, secret agent gerbils. Or possibly hamsters. I doubt that it really matters.
Even though I worked in marketing and made my living by doing the opposite I really feel there needs to be truth in advertising laws. At a time when every single childhood memory of mine is being prepackaged into fun size portions and presented at my local multiplex when I see the words G Force I was to see kids in bird costumes fighting aliens and not talking rodents! Is that too much to freaking ask? If they are making an Asteroids movie (seriously, based on the video game. I shit you not) can’t I get a G-Force movie without hip hamsters?
Screw this. I’m going back to watch my Voltron DVDs in peace.
Wednesday Night Music Club: Take it home Gorillaz…
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