At what point do Dippin Dots progress from being “The Ice Cream of the Future” to being proclaimed “The Ice Cream of the Present?” I mean, they have been around for a decade at least.
Would my odds as a defendant improve if I walked into a courtroom wearing a t-shirt that read “Only God can judge me?”
Given the fact that everyone who shops at a Bed, Bath and Beyond is armed with one of those 20% off coupons that are constantly being mailed out doesn’t that imply that everything in the entire store is priced 20% higher than it should be?
If there isn’t a Sergeant Slaughter cameo in the GI Joe movie someone is going to get hurt. I’m just saying.
Can I sue the movie “All Dogs go to Heaven” for false advertising because they cannot prove that all dogs really do go to heaven? What about Cujo? Or Hitler’s dog? (For those wondering, Hitler had a miniature schnauzer named Mr. Piddles.)
Why is it that whenever anyone in an airport is confronted with a motorized walkway they stand on the thing like they are cows being led to the slaughterhouse? Was sitting on a plane for three hours so freaking tiring that you have completely lost the ability to walk?
In addition to being able to take sick days from work shouldn’t you also get an allowance of “hungover days”, “stayed up late watching the game days” and “screw this, I’m just going to sit on the couch and watch Star Wars days?”
How am I going to get through a Tuesday night now that the latest season of Deadliest Catch is ending? How will I ever cope without the gripping drama of whether or not they are going to catch crab this week?
(Seriously, that is an issue. It is one of my favorite shows on television. I’ll probably end up knocking on Sig’s door and asking “Can you tell me about the time you caught some crab?”)
Ever realize that you don’t see too many ninjas around anymore? There are a lot of pirates but very few ninjas. I suppose that the ninjas could be hiding in the shadows though and thus putting a crimp in my whole ninja / pirate census.
If I have to endure a tax increase for health care reform does that mean that I can gain as much weight as I want because, in the end, I'm paying for it anyway? Maybe I'll have that triple hot fudge sundae now that you mention it.
I think all political debates should be resolved via a round of miniature golf. I would love to have a filibuster be resolved by seeing who can get the ball in the clown’s mouth. (Sigh. I miss Haunted Trails. Best freaking place on the planet as a kid. Miniature golf, batting cages, and an arcade.)
1 comment:
I realized just now that I would feel I had reached ultimate success in life if I could create a TV show that you would enjoy.
Do you like my cooking videos at all?
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