This is a story of seven strangers

Preliminary Note # 1: I have to give a big shout out to Amy for her recent spate of great comments. You really should check out her blog at http://amyeats.blogspot.com/. It’s like mine if you replaced all of the comic book references with discussions of food. Plus, it’s written in a language that resembles English as opposed to my string of run on sentences combined into something quite unlike a paragraph. Anyway, check it out as it kicks ass and chews bubblegum at the same time (and she’s all out of gum).

Preliminary Note # 2: Ok, final offer for Valentine’s Day. Outback Steakhouse, Dairy Queen, Meet the Spartans and we’ll listen to Paula Cole’s “This Fire” on the way there so I can show my sensitive side. I’ll even listen to you discuss your feelings. Well, maybe not listen but at least I’ll be quiet and nod occasionally while reciting the history of the WWE title since 1962 to myself. It will at least look like I’m listening. Any takers? Or is it another night of bar trivia for good old EC?

Preliminary Note # 3: Received official notification that I have been granted the separation package. My last day at the slightly large phone company is scheduled to be March 28th. I’m wiring a countdown clock for my cubicle as I speak (write, whatever.)

Ok, now on to the important part. The Real World is getting ready to start its 20th season and MTV has decided to hold a vote for some of the best moments over the show’s history. Figured that I am more than qualified to provide my learned opinion even though I kind of stopped watching the show after they returned to New York (though I did watch most of the San Diego season for some bizarre reason). To make things even better I have brought on long time friend of the blog Super Dave to add in his choices as well.

Hottest Female:
EC: Kids today have no sense of history. Where is Julie from the first season of the Real World? She’s the only reason the show even had a second season because guys like me all went gaga for this southern girl. You’re telling me that Trishelle, someone I wouldn’t stand downwind of without a penicillin shot, is better than Julie? I’ll go with Jacinda in that she was the prettiest and the only one who actually had a real career after the show.
Super Dave: Kellie (New Orleans; not nominated), runners up: mallory (paris) became a model, Jacinda (london) model/actress married chris hardwick from singled out

Hottest Male:
EC: If the surveys were true and women value a sense of humor most of all then Dominic from LA wins this hands down. Of course that’s not true or Rodney Dangerfield would have been a God amongst men. Forced to choose, I’ll go with Brad as he looks like a dumber Brady Quinn if that is even possible.
Super Dave: As a heterosexual male I will change this to male I'd most like to hang out with - dominic (LA - not nominated), runner up: lars (london - not nominated)

Favorite Season:
EC: I’m the only person who will vote for London. I had a thing for Kat and Neil was all types of awesome. Runner up to Miami for just being a totally bizarre season.
Super Dave: New Orleans, runners up: Chicago and Seattle

Best Fight:
EC: How Stephen slapping Irene in Seattle doesn’t make best fight is beyond my comprehension. It even ends with that shot of the forlorn stuffed animal floating in Puget Sound. How can you top that? Pretty easy choice here as David and Tami set the standard for over the top arguing and near brawling resulting in possible criminal charges.
Super Dave: Austin (not nominated) because it was a real fight, and I really feel sorry for the guy who got hit because that was a pretty serious eye socket injury and it obviously put him out of commission for most of the show

Steamiest Scene:
EC: I just want to point out that the threesome in the shower in Miami is missing from the choices. Again, kids have no clue about their past any more. I mean, Flora broke the bathroom window trying to get a better look at what was going on. That might have been one of the best moments in the history of the show.
Super Dave: None, dumb. girls making out with girls jumped the shark a long time ago

Best Brush With the Law:
EC: Robin hitting the marine in San Diego was just classic followed by Brad getting arrested the same night. Best part of all of this was the one underage roommate who stayed home got to be the one having to sort things out including saying lines like “getting arrested is no big deal.”
Super Dave: Landon in real life (not nominated) assualted a horse at Mifflin Street Block Party in Madison, WI.

Best Meltdown:
EC: Even though it won’t win (because the chick from Denver had some legendary meltdowns) I’ll have to go with Overland Park’s own Dan chewing out Melissa on what still seems like the silliest thing imaginable. She opened his mail and pictures fell to the floor. That isn’t quite the capitol offense he made it out to be. Oh well, no one liked Melissa anyway.
Super Dave: Forget about sudden and short-lived emotional swings I'm taking 24/7 craziness with a tie between pre-intervention ruthie (not nominated), irene (not nominated)

Favorite Love Story:
EC: I need to point out something interesting when you look at the choices. Completely absent is Pam and Judd from San Francisco who, you know, ended up getting married. They weren’t dating on the show but you did get to see Judd act like such a nice guy as he just happened to push Pam’s boyfriend in the path of a metaphorical oncoming train. The surprise birthday party he put together featuring the boyfriend should be shown in schools as how to properly steal a girl from another guy.
Super Dave: None. least favorite was elkah and that poor man's version of gavin rossdale. runners up: every other pair who were only couples while the cameras were rolling. best wishes to those who got together later in real life after the show was over (judd and pam, wes and johanna)

Roommate from Hell:
EC: Really tough call here. Beth actually became more annoying after she left the show and imagined herself to be some type of big star. She also became maybe the most unlikely person to be featured in Playboy, a fact that I probably should have kept to myself. Can’t go for anyone other than Puck though. He’s the type of guy who would be cool to hang with for a few hours until you realize the guy is always on. Read Dave Eggers “A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius” for his description of meeting Puck and wondering what drugs the guy was on.
Super Dave: Everyone in the boston house except cyrus

Biggest Playa:
EC: Teck from Hawaii. Hands down, no questions asked, they shouldn’t even run a poll. Screw Matador and J-Dog, I want Teck as my wingman. I never understood why MTV didn’t just give this guy his own show after this series.
Super Dave: Cara (chi) for hooking up with Todd Park Mohr [insert Big Head or Monsters double-entendre here] and a guy that Reali new from Princeton. runner up: David (New Orleans). "come on be my baby tonight."

Best Phonecall Gone Bad:
EC: Jacquese from San Diego. See the Best Brush with the Law as this is where the “jail isn’t that bad” line comes from.
Super Dave: Wes (Austin - not nominated) with every girl he tried to pick up from the 'groupie drawer' of phone numbers

Gone Baby Gone:
EC: Yep, I’ll give my vote to Irene. Never knew that Lyme Disease caused psychotic episodes. That and if I remember one episode centered around how Seattle’s damp weather was messing up her curly hair.
Super Dave: Irene. classic scene.

Best Dance Off:
EC: I’ll go for Melissa at the strip club in New Orleans. Not that I would happen to know which specific club that is or anything.
Super Dave: dumb. johanna maybe?

Comments anyone?