How fat can a Tuesday get?

Lots and lots of topics tonight…

Topic # 1: So Britney has finally faced reality and checked into rehab. It still isn’t clear if this is “live on a farm for two months” rehab or the Lindsay Lohan approved “rehab where you are allowed to leave and go clubbing.” For our sake, I’m hoping that it is the former because otherwise we are just going to have an epidemic of fourteen year old girls shaving their heads to look like their idol. And Natalie Portman and Sigourney Weaver (in that Aliens film) aside, that really isn’t a good look.

All in all, this is a good thing for Brit as she is obviously dealing with a whole bunch of issues and is handling none of them well. An escape from the spotlight is well-deserved. However, I am now more and more amazed that Paris Hilton is still alive. I mean, how the hell is she still standing after all of this. Brit and Lindsay end up in rehab with their careers ruined. Nicole Ritchie is a walking skeleton. Tara Reid is missing and presumed passed out on a bar. And what the hell happened to the Olsen twins? They’re not even attractive anymore. But somehow, throughout all of this, Paris is still floating through life completely unharmed. I swear, she has to be Emperor Palpatine. I’d challenge her to a duel but her force lightning would be too powerful.

Topic # 2: I’ll say this about Kansas City, when winter ends in this town it ends. Last week was bitterly cold, to the point where you think about slicing open the Taunton and climbing inside for warmth. This week, we’re in the fifties and it feels like springtime. There really is no in between, one day you’re freezing to death and the next you are in shorts. At least this time we had an actual winter with snow that stayed on the ground and wind chills that caused your face to hurt. It felt almost, somewhat, vaguely like home. Not quite, but close.

Topic # 3: So, in preparation for putting Quo Vadimus together, a task that is looking so daunting that I might bail on it before it even starts, I am going through all of my old blog posts. This is a lot more taxing than I anticipated. There’s around 600 posts and it is tough to classify a lot of them without using the words “random stuff”. It’s interesting to see how things have changed. When I started I would at least pick a topic and stick to it, though I would also just post something from The Onion on a pretty regular basis. I’m happy I’ve stopped with the plagiarism but it wouldn’t hurt to not have every post be random thoughts. Oh, and I discovered that I make an awful, awful lot of Star Wars references. Including entire posts spent discussing the character of Boba Fett and the illogical nature of the Death Star having a trash compactor. I’m not sure if this is a good thing.

It’s why I’ve always joked about what happens when I tell someone about my blog. I like having people read this, as I hope that it is at times interesting and it shows off the creative side of my personality. On the other hand, since this is a very unfiltered view into my mind I have a feeling that people learn more about me than they would ever want to know. Hell, looking at the old posts even I was going “I can’t believe I told that story.” Some of those old posts make the Lindsay infatuation seem quaint.

Topic # 4: In rereading last night’s post I mentioned “News of the Starz” as a trivia category and realized that it would be awesome to have a category based entirely on Starzan’s life. Every question would start with the word “Dude” and reference places that had to be next to a body of water. (As always, feel free to check out the Starzan Tees link on the page. The guy is funny as all get out.)

Topic # 5: Time to go out and celebrate Mardi Gras. And to E and Super Dave, remember that it was Mardi Gras four years ago that we decided that, much like Steve Austin, I could be remade and that we had the technology. I do have to say that it has worked, maybe not in the manner that we initially intended but it did work. Still, how in the world was that four years ago? It seems like last week. Anyway, I’ll hoist a red headed slut in your honor, kind sirs.