Ok, I have a very important decision to make very quickly. What I choose is going to impact every single aspect of my life over the next several years. You know how sometimes you reach a fork in the road of life and you know that once you decide on a path your life will be forever altered? This is one of those times. So, here is my dilemma…
Do I put in a bid on eBay for Britney’s hair or for Lindsay’s appendix? I can’t afford both so it’s going to have to be one or the other.
You know, in a way I wish that I was kidding about this but you can put in a bid for Brit’s hair on eBay. I think that the salon is aiming at a million dollars, which seems awfully expensive for something that was probably a bad weave to begin with. And while Lindsay’s appendix is currently not for sale it is currently sitting in her freezer because she was afraid that it would end up on eBay. I mean, who would bid on an appendix? Especially unless you knew for certain that there was sufficient DNA to proceed with a cloning experiment. Not that I’ve, you know, thought about this or anything.
(Yeah, those last few sentences even disturbed me.)
I know that this is a little strange from someone who spent Thursday night ranting about the overkill of Anna Nicole Smith coverage but there is a difference between myself and the cable news channels. No one reads my blog in order to get a better understanding of world events. (Or at least I hope not.) This is meant to be silly with a few moments of philosophy tossed in when I’m feeling self-righteous. CNN and its ilk are meant to be news networks and I’m not kidding when I say that after writing my entry on Thursday I turned on the television and every single news channel was talking about Anna Nicole. I can understand E! covering this, everything else is just a mystery to me.
Still, Brit is working her way into the Pantheon of celebrity nervous breakdowns. This is in the Anne Heche crashing in someone’s apartment range or Martin Lawrence ranting in the middle of a street. I don’t think that we are at Margot Kidder level yet but it is pretty damn close. And, as horrible as this is to say, I feel like this just confirms one of my views on life; that life isn’t a tragedy, it’s a farce. Brit’s story really should be viewed as tragic; child star, mother of two, falls under an evil influence (Paris Hilton is getting more and more like Emperor Palpatine every day) and completely breaks down. But no one views it as a tragedy, we all consider it to be a farce. We don’t view Brit to be a real person, she’s more like a character in a Three Stooges bit. We’re all waiting for her to get hit in the head with a ladder right about now.
Maybe all of this will lead to us taking a step back from the celebrity enamored culture. We’ve pretty much torn down all of our idols in that regard. I can’t say that I would be upset if our culture moved in that direction, though it would make News of the Starz trivia categories a little tougher.
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