Well, since it is officially springtime it means that we have to analyze the new ad campaign for the Kansas City Royals. This year’s slogan is “Your Town. Your Team. Your Kansas City Royals.” I think that it is clear that this has to go down as one of the dumbest slogans I’ve ever heard since basically all it is saying is that you live here so you have to cheer the team. Of course, a few years ago the slogan was “Believe”, which probably just beat out “Pray.”
For comparison sake, the White Sox for years used “Good Guys Wear Black” and last year decided to turn it up a notch by using “Win or Die Trying.” I don’t think that it is a coincidence that the team won the World Series by basically out hustling and out working their opponents (along with occasionally stealing first).
So, as a public service I am going to propose the following slogans for the Royals. I think you’ll find them much more fitting.
Your Kansas City Royals: Guaranteed by law to have one All-Star
Your KC Royals: Minor league baseball at major league prices
Royals baseball: We don’t mind if you leave after the hot dog race in the fourth inning
Royals baseball: Because watching soccer is un-American
The Kansas City Royals: It’s like cheering for the Cubs except without Wrigleyville. Or day games. Or Take Me Out To the Ballgame. But they both lose so there’s that.
Royals baseball: Dude, wasn’t George Brett awesome?
Your KC Royals: First in war, first in peace, last in the AL Central
Royals baseball: It’s like Nascar except that instead of cars we have opposing baserunners going around in a circle
Royals baseball: Come for the game, stay for the opportunity to be called from the stands to provide middle relief
Your KC Royals: Get season tickets and be assured of seeing the AL Champs
And my personal favorite…
Royals baseball: It’s June in Kansas City, what the hell else are you going to do?
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