You know, I am now at the point where I have Post-It notes filled with topics that I want to cover in the blog. Sadly, what that means is that tonight I have many more topics than I have time (and given that I’ve already spent most of the night writing I’m pretty tired to boot) so some things are going to have to wait. But I will reveal the movie that got completely screwed over at the Oscars as well as a discussion on Segways that will, well, possibly affect my very existence. You’ll just have to tune in tomorrow to find out.
1) A few weeks ago I talked about some of the spam emails that I receive. Including the ones that invite me to play bingo. They’re at it again but this time the subject line reads “Play bingo just for the fun of it without risk.” Yes, I can now play risk-free bingo because I was previously…I was previously frightened of suffering a career ending injury? Blowing out a knee? What the hell risk is involved in playing bingo? Please don’t tell me that this is financial risk since that implies that there are people who are losing their life savings playing bingo. You know, I’m probably sure that has happened and that both amazes and saddens me. I mean, you are gambling on a random number generator and that is silly. And this is coming from a guy who has now lost money on the coin toss at the Super Bowl for three consecutive years.
2) Everyone knows that most of my life is spent attending concerts and that means that I have built up quite a transaction history with Ticketmaster. I have intentionally not calculated how much I have spent on Ticketmaster fees since it would equal a really nice vacation by now. Anyway, one would think that given that they know every concert I’ve attended over the past three years they could put together this nice predictive modeling program suggesting which events I would be most interested in. You know, even offer me pre-sales since I am such a loyal customer. That would be sensible.
But this is Ticketmaster, the people who I swear will be first against the wall when the revolution comes, so that is impossible. Instead I’ve been offered a chance at a special auction to get VIP passes to the Pro Bull Riders rodeo that is coming to Kemper soon. Yes, I could be the lucky recipient of backstage passes to a rodeo. This would easily trump my getting a date just by going “You, me, Air Supply” because large animals and chaps are an unbeatable combination.
What I want to know is how in the world did they decide that I fit the bill for this event? I’ve bought tickets to Sleater-Kinney and Social Distortion and there sure weren’t many cowboy hats in those crowds. Hell, I’ve seen Ani DiFranco twice and that really does not have a strong correlation with attraction to calf roping events. (Wait a minute, I’ve seen Ani twice? Can someone explain to me how that happened again? Did it involve Absinthe?) The only other thing that Ticketmaster selected that was worse was offering me a chance to meet Kenny Chesney backstage. I don’t want to pay to meet the guy. If it was “Win a chance to knee Kenny Chesney in the groin” I’d be a bit more interested but maybe not even then.
3) As was all over the news today, Yanni was arrested on a domestic abuse charge. You know, typically I am strongly opposed to capital punishment but in this case I might be willing to make an exception. Or at least change the charge from domestic abuse to crimes against humanity because lord knows he caused more damage with crappy synthesizer music than most people can even comprehend.
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