Let’s try something a little different and go through some of the winners and losers of the past few weeks…
Winner: Toyota: No one has benefited more from the Gulf Oil Disaster (I think we should upgrade it from spill) than Toyota. Remember the cars accelerating out of control without reason? Spokespersons making ineffective comments on safety while wearing surgical masks? The huge backlash due to massive recalls on items like floormats? Nope, neither do I. They are out of the news cycle and won’t even win the award for the most obvious MBA business case of the year.
Winner: Orange slice manufacturers: Yay! Soccer is popular again! On that note…
Winner: ESPN: Yeah, I can’t believe this one either. The network that has gone from amazing to quite possibly the most mind numbing channel in existence thanks to segments like Who’s Now, Chris Berman doing anything and the complete disavowal of the existence of hockey has done an amazing job on the World Cup. Every game is shown live with commentators who actually know what they are talking about. They’ve even brought in experts who the average American has no clue who they are. As a result we have had kick ass coverage for the entire event. Now if NBC could just take some of those ideas and use them on the Olympics for a change.
Loser: NBC: On that note I am trying to think of any show on NBC that is worth watching. Ok, maybe The Office and 30 Rock (though to be honest I don’t make time out for either one.) Right now I believe their most popular show is “Extremely Fit Woman Swears at Fat People.” Always fun to watch someone who hasn’t exercised in years being berated because they can’t keep up on their first workout. I swear that I want to see an unedited version of The Biggest Loser where they actually show what the first week is like because you simply can’t go from no exercise to full workouts without suffering immense pain.
Loser: My Downstairs Neighbors: Much of my workout routine revolves around using EA Active. This means that I am doing things like lateral jumps, running in place and step aerobics on a nightly basis. I feel like I should go down there and apologize for turning my apartment into an aerobics studio (and not like that cool one in that John Travolta / Jamie Lee Curtis movie.)
Loser: Garlic Manufacturers: Wait a minute, you mean that vampires can now be out in daylight? Does that mean that the whole stake in the heart is no longer effective either? And if the werewolves aren’t wearing shirts because it makes it easier for them to transform into wolves then why the hell are they wearing pants?
Winner: All of civilization: We have a new New Pornographers album out! And the only thing better than a New Pornographers album is a New Pornographers video that features ninjas.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Sorry, wrong number
Probably the best headline that I have read over the past week was “Tori Spelling: I talked with Farrah Fawcett’s spirit”. You didn’t even need to read the article to get an opinion on the story. In fact, I’m not sure if that headline even counts as a sentence yet I might be able to get a full blog post out of it. Let’s try.
Now I have no idea what is in store for us beyond this world but I hope and believe that we move on to someplace else. Our atoms get reintegrated into the universe and our soul moves on to wherever that place may be. And maybe, or quite possibly, there are times when the spirit can communicate from that place back to this one. If that is the case then there is just one thing that I wish for. If I can only communicate to one person please don’t let it be Tori Spelling.
Let’s think about poor Farrah here. Think about all the people that she would want to contact. I’m certain that there is a message that she would like to share with Ryan O’Neal. Maybe her Charlie’s Angels castmates could use a little speaking to (and besides, who wouldn’t want to talk to Jaclyn Smith or John Forsyth?) Hell, maybe she would want to lend her ethereal insight on the situation in the Gulf. Instead the only person that she can reach is Tori Spelling.
What would you say in that situation? “Why are you still famous?” “Do you want to know the only reason you had a job on 90210 was because of your dad? He’s right here, ask him yourself?” And then from Tori’s perspective does she hold this information private or maybe share it with Farrah’s family? Nope, she essentially issues a press release on it so she could get one more headline on the news sites. The entire thing is depressing.
Fame is a very strange thing. I understand why some people try to hold on to it. If you are Jon and / or Kate then remaining famous helps you to keep a lifestyle that you previously didn’t have. Or you are a band that is touring in smaller and smaller venues just because the cheer of a crowd is all that matters to you. But for Tori Spelling, well, I can’t really see the point. She is already rich so it is not as though she is doing this for the money. And I can’t really believe that she is driven by the acclaim and the hope of becoming a serious figure because, well, she never was one in the first place. So why is she driven to keep her name out there? I really don’t know unless it is just something to do.
So Farrah, if you still have some news to send please try again. We’ll try to get you a better connection this time.
Now I have no idea what is in store for us beyond this world but I hope and believe that we move on to someplace else. Our atoms get reintegrated into the universe and our soul moves on to wherever that place may be. And maybe, or quite possibly, there are times when the spirit can communicate from that place back to this one. If that is the case then there is just one thing that I wish for. If I can only communicate to one person please don’t let it be Tori Spelling.
Let’s think about poor Farrah here. Think about all the people that she would want to contact. I’m certain that there is a message that she would like to share with Ryan O’Neal. Maybe her Charlie’s Angels castmates could use a little speaking to (and besides, who wouldn’t want to talk to Jaclyn Smith or John Forsyth?) Hell, maybe she would want to lend her ethereal insight on the situation in the Gulf. Instead the only person that she can reach is Tori Spelling.
What would you say in that situation? “Why are you still famous?” “Do you want to know the only reason you had a job on 90210 was because of your dad? He’s right here, ask him yourself?” And then from Tori’s perspective does she hold this information private or maybe share it with Farrah’s family? Nope, she essentially issues a press release on it so she could get one more headline on the news sites. The entire thing is depressing.
Fame is a very strange thing. I understand why some people try to hold on to it. If you are Jon and / or Kate then remaining famous helps you to keep a lifestyle that you previously didn’t have. Or you are a band that is touring in smaller and smaller venues just because the cheer of a crowd is all that matters to you. But for Tori Spelling, well, I can’t really see the point. She is already rich so it is not as though she is doing this for the money. And I can’t really believe that she is driven by the acclaim and the hope of becoming a serious figure because, well, she never was one in the first place. So why is she driven to keep her name out there? I really don’t know unless it is just something to do.
So Farrah, if you still have some news to send please try again. We’ll try to get you a better connection this time.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Still not as bad as when we lost to Iran...
And like a low rated television sitcom we are back from hiatus just in time to be the only new episodes shown in the summer…
Monday Weigh In: Still at 205.5 pounds but I have to consider that a bit of an accomplishment given the events of the past two weeks. There was a bachelor party weekend in there (where you can’t really try to pull the whole “I’m on a diet” routine) and I basically missed a week of exercise due to slightly spraining my ankle doing that highly treacherous exercise known as “walking”. Seriously, you know how they always say before starting an exercise program how you should check in with your physician? Well, if I did that mine would recommend that I wear full body armor at all times. Good news is that I stayed at a constant weight and my goal of being under 200 pounds by August is still reachable though I will literally have to hustle to make it.
Well, since the US is out of the World Cup and we no longer have to care about soccer for another four years I figured that I would give my opinion on the team’s performance. Yes, I will watch the rest of the World Cup because I do find it interesting and I can still cheer for the Dutch, which is the team to watch if you don’t actually like soccer because a) they play the coolest version of the game and b) you can get a contact high just by looking at their fans. But our focus was on the US and it is now time to cast blame or cheer depending on how one looks at it.
On the most basic level the US did precisely what I thought they would do: make it to the knockout round and lose in the first round. It makes sense since we are one of the 16 best teams in the world but not one of the top eight. Except that everything that happened on the way there seemed to be completely unlike the typical American squad that it leaves you elated and disappointed at the same time.
We tied with England in a game that we could have lost (if England’s goalie hadn’t flubbed Dempsey’s shot) or won (if Altidore’s shot off the post was an inch to the right). In the end it was the result that I had been hoping for. We should have beaten Slovenia and if it wasn’t for a crap call we would have. And while we outplayed Algeria the entire game it still took a miracle play unlike any that I had ever seen to send us into the second round. We won the group, which I did not expect and legitimately could have won every game.
The US still has a huge weakness (which came back to haunt us against Ghana) in that we start off incredibly slow and have a weak defense in front of a good goalie. We always seem to start from behind. The amazing thing, and what I am most proud of this team for, is the fact that they fought back in every game and never really quit fighting. In the past the US would get down a goal and you could see that their will to win was gone. Now we know we can come back from two goal deficits. Makes for a huge change in attitude.
And while I predicted a loss in the group of 16 I was expecting it to come against Germany. In fact, when I started to look at the brackets I could see us in the semi finals. We were a better team than Ghana and I’m confident we could beat Uruguay as well. It is more of a lost opportunity than anything else. It was probably the easiest road to the semis that this team will ever see.
In the end I guess I will say that I am happy for how the team played. They showed grit and determination and made people care about the squad and the World Cup, which is a huge boost. I remember 12 years ago following the World Cup and the only other person in the office who was following it with me was someone who was born in Poland. Now we have entire office conversations about the game. They went farther than Italy and France (and looked much better than either team) and went as far as England, Mexico and either Spain or Portugal. Not a bad run. If only we had some freaking defense.
The five random CDs for last week (never got posted):
1) Jack Johnson “On and On”
2) Cowboy Mouth “Mouthing Off Live and More”
3) Wilco “Summerteeth”
4) Allison Moorer “Show”
5) Marshall Crenshaw “I Suffered for my Art, Now It’s Your Turn”
And the five random CDs for this week:
1) Steve Earle “I Feel Alright”
2) Continental Drifters “Continental Drifters”
3) The Frames “For the Birds”
4) U2 “Boy”
5) John Hiatt “The Best of John Hiatt”
Monday Weigh In: Still at 205.5 pounds but I have to consider that a bit of an accomplishment given the events of the past two weeks. There was a bachelor party weekend in there (where you can’t really try to pull the whole “I’m on a diet” routine) and I basically missed a week of exercise due to slightly spraining my ankle doing that highly treacherous exercise known as “walking”. Seriously, you know how they always say before starting an exercise program how you should check in with your physician? Well, if I did that mine would recommend that I wear full body armor at all times. Good news is that I stayed at a constant weight and my goal of being under 200 pounds by August is still reachable though I will literally have to hustle to make it.
Well, since the US is out of the World Cup and we no longer have to care about soccer for another four years I figured that I would give my opinion on the team’s performance. Yes, I will watch the rest of the World Cup because I do find it interesting and I can still cheer for the Dutch, which is the team to watch if you don’t actually like soccer because a) they play the coolest version of the game and b) you can get a contact high just by looking at their fans. But our focus was on the US and it is now time to cast blame or cheer depending on how one looks at it.
On the most basic level the US did precisely what I thought they would do: make it to the knockout round and lose in the first round. It makes sense since we are one of the 16 best teams in the world but not one of the top eight. Except that everything that happened on the way there seemed to be completely unlike the typical American squad that it leaves you elated and disappointed at the same time.
We tied with England in a game that we could have lost (if England’s goalie hadn’t flubbed Dempsey’s shot) or won (if Altidore’s shot off the post was an inch to the right). In the end it was the result that I had been hoping for. We should have beaten Slovenia and if it wasn’t for a crap call we would have. And while we outplayed Algeria the entire game it still took a miracle play unlike any that I had ever seen to send us into the second round. We won the group, which I did not expect and legitimately could have won every game.
The US still has a huge weakness (which came back to haunt us against Ghana) in that we start off incredibly slow and have a weak defense in front of a good goalie. We always seem to start from behind. The amazing thing, and what I am most proud of this team for, is the fact that they fought back in every game and never really quit fighting. In the past the US would get down a goal and you could see that their will to win was gone. Now we know we can come back from two goal deficits. Makes for a huge change in attitude.
And while I predicted a loss in the group of 16 I was expecting it to come against Germany. In fact, when I started to look at the brackets I could see us in the semi finals. We were a better team than Ghana and I’m confident we could beat Uruguay as well. It is more of a lost opportunity than anything else. It was probably the easiest road to the semis that this team will ever see.
In the end I guess I will say that I am happy for how the team played. They showed grit and determination and made people care about the squad and the World Cup, which is a huge boost. I remember 12 years ago following the World Cup and the only other person in the office who was following it with me was someone who was born in Poland. Now we have entire office conversations about the game. They went farther than Italy and France (and looked much better than either team) and went as far as England, Mexico and either Spain or Portugal. Not a bad run. If only we had some freaking defense.
The five random CDs for last week (never got posted):
1) Jack Johnson “On and On”
2) Cowboy Mouth “Mouthing Off Live and More”
3) Wilco “Summerteeth”
4) Allison Moorer “Show”
5) Marshall Crenshaw “I Suffered for my Art, Now It’s Your Turn”
And the five random CDs for this week:
1) Steve Earle “I Feel Alright”
2) Continental Drifters “Continental Drifters”
3) The Frames “For the Birds”
4) U2 “Boy”
5) John Hiatt “The Best of John Hiatt”
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
For those wondering....
Blog is on vacation for the week. Moose out front should have told you.
Oh, and, USA! USA! USA! Take that Algeria! Bring on Ghana!
Oh, and, USA! USA! USA! Take that Algeria! Bring on Ghana!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Mena Suvari could not be reached for comment (as her shift at IHOP hadn't ended yet)
Just some random odds and ends tonight…
1) Chris Klein from the American Pie films was arrested for DUI in Hollywood last night thus answering the question “Can Chris Klein even get arrested in this town?” Do you realize that the American Pie films came out over a decade ago? How horrible is it as an actor to realize that when they report your arrest the only films that they mention came out a decade ago. You could repeat this statement for Tara Reid, Shannon Elizabeth and possibly the guy with the pie (though he had a bit more work in later years.)
2) If you were wondering how the North Korean team had fans at the World Cup given that its citizens are not technically allowed to leave the country wonder no more. Apparently they hired Chinese actors to act as fans and support the team. They have even admitted to it. Pretty amazing when they show the team during the national anthem and the players are singing (and in one case, crying) while their supporters are looking around rather dumbfounded. Just one more part of North Korea that is freaking insane.
3) Well that and the North Korea themed restaurants that exist in certain parts of the world. I’m not making this up. I believe they are called Pyongyang and are owned by the North Korean government in which they serve up North Korean food and culture with service by the prettiest North Korean girls in the world (who of course are basically not allowed to leave the restaurant or their housing complex.) Just nuts.
4) Oh, for those wondering the gulf is still screwed. You know, for what is going to be the biggest environmental disaster in our country’s history there really isn’t much of a sense of outrage or anything at the moment. We feel sad about the birds and the fishermen but that huge collective “What the hell?” moment we had during Katrina just isn’t there. In that case there was an uproar and people mobilizing to help but in this instance it really isn’t there. Partly because none of us are trained to fix oil wells or to clean up spills. People aren’t homeless or suffering so we don’t even know where to send money to. The closest equivalent that I can think of is Three Mile Island and that really isn’t a proper comparison. Three Mile Island was a significant event that could have been much worse but in the end did not result in any long lasting damage. This, on the other hand, is going to screw up the gulf for a generation at least. I just wish there was some way to get people engaged and outraged over the event.
1) Chris Klein from the American Pie films was arrested for DUI in Hollywood last night thus answering the question “Can Chris Klein even get arrested in this town?” Do you realize that the American Pie films came out over a decade ago? How horrible is it as an actor to realize that when they report your arrest the only films that they mention came out a decade ago. You could repeat this statement for Tara Reid, Shannon Elizabeth and possibly the guy with the pie (though he had a bit more work in later years.)
2) If you were wondering how the North Korean team had fans at the World Cup given that its citizens are not technically allowed to leave the country wonder no more. Apparently they hired Chinese actors to act as fans and support the team. They have even admitted to it. Pretty amazing when they show the team during the national anthem and the players are singing (and in one case, crying) while their supporters are looking around rather dumbfounded. Just one more part of North Korea that is freaking insane.
3) Well that and the North Korea themed restaurants that exist in certain parts of the world. I’m not making this up. I believe they are called Pyongyang and are owned by the North Korean government in which they serve up North Korean food and culture with service by the prettiest North Korean girls in the world (who of course are basically not allowed to leave the restaurant or their housing complex.) Just nuts.
4) Oh, for those wondering the gulf is still screwed. You know, for what is going to be the biggest environmental disaster in our country’s history there really isn’t much of a sense of outrage or anything at the moment. We feel sad about the birds and the fishermen but that huge collective “What the hell?” moment we had during Katrina just isn’t there. In that case there was an uproar and people mobilizing to help but in this instance it really isn’t there. Partly because none of us are trained to fix oil wells or to clean up spills. People aren’t homeless or suffering so we don’t even know where to send money to. The closest equivalent that I can think of is Three Mile Island and that really isn’t a proper comparison. Three Mile Island was a significant event that could have been much worse but in the end did not result in any long lasting damage. This, on the other hand, is going to screw up the gulf for a generation at least. I just wish there was some way to get people engaged and outraged over the event.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Much rather be back at the Blue Lagoon
Note to the Universe: Look, I am unbelievably happy with the way my life has turned out. Last year was the most amazing thing that I could ever imagine. I reconnected with the woman of my dreams, fell in love and we decided that all we want is to spend the rest of our lives together. And I understand that there is good and bad in life so things can’t always be that perfect. But can you just ease up a little? The past couple of months just seem to be bad things followed by horrible and tragic events followed by just more crap. Can we get a little break from everything for a moment? We’d really appreciate it. Thanks.
Anyway, it’s kind of late and I’m pretty much spent so I figure that I would just post the following video. It is the best thing that I have ever seen in terms of showing what Iceland is actually like. Except that for some reason in this video it isn’t constantly raining. Of all the sights shown in this video Kim and I were probably at about three quarters of them. Pretty amazing to think that you hit almost all of the locations shown in a tourism video.
Note: video is slightly not safe for work due to a tad bit of nudity. That is Europe for you. You put in tourism ads the sort of things that would typically appear on HBO. Well, not as bad as what you can see on HBO now. Seriously, when did they turn into Cinemax? Anyway, consider this fair warning. Oh, you will also be singing this song for the rest of the day. At least it will make you pretty happy to be doing so.
Anyway, it’s kind of late and I’m pretty much spent so I figure that I would just post the following video. It is the best thing that I have ever seen in terms of showing what Iceland is actually like. Except that for some reason in this video it isn’t constantly raining. Of all the sights shown in this video Kim and I were probably at about three quarters of them. Pretty amazing to think that you hit almost all of the locations shown in a tourism video.
Note: video is slightly not safe for work due to a tad bit of nudity. That is Europe for you. You put in tourism ads the sort of things that would typically appear on HBO. Well, not as bad as what you can see on HBO now. Seriously, when did they turn into Cinemax? Anyway, consider this fair warning. Oh, you will also be singing this song for the rest of the day. At least it will make you pretty happy to be doing so.
Inspired by Iceland Video from Inspired By Iceland on Vimeo.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Flopping like a dead (or at least stunned) fish
Monday Weigh In: Checking in at 205.5 pounds this week, down an impressive two pounds from last week. Really happy with my workouts this week (including doing four and a third miles on the treadmill on Saturday) as I seem to have broken through to that next level on my fitness. Meaning that workouts that would kill me a few weeks ago are relatively easy now. I’ll keep upping the intensity and focusing on my diet as I edge close to that first goal of being under 200 pounds.
World Cup Update: My new favorite team for the Cup is Ghana due to their fans unfurling a banner that read “Sex Machines” during the game on Sunday. Apparently a rap group from Ghana has a hit song called, obviously, “Sex Machine” and this has provided the team with a theme song much like Chelsea Dagger for the Blackhawks or Don’t Stop Believing for the White Sox. However, I mainly like the fact that we can now refer to the team as the Ghana Sex Machines. That is what I love about the World Cup: you always find yourself cheering some small country because they seem to be really cool.
To DJ’s comment on yesterday’s post I really don’t mind ties in soccer and understand the importance of playing for a tie at times. The tie for the US was in effect a win: they stayed even with the best team in their group and stayed in control of their own destiny. Even low scoring doesn’t bother me because I understand that at the top level defenses are very good (though I wish there were more scoring opportunities.) Heck, low scoring makes set plays that much more exciting. What really drives me insane is the flopping which was in full display during the Italy – Paraguay game.
To be honest though I can’t recall anything that I would have called a flop during the US – England game. But in the Italy game today people were hitting the ground left and right. I saw a guy collapse to the ground holding his ankle which had done nothing other than kick the ball. I haven’t seen them break out the magic spray or carry someone off on a stretcher only for them to immediately return to the field like nothing happened. That is the part of the sport that people can’t stand. If you are hurt then you are hurt. Tim Howard got hurt on Saturday because he took a kick in the chest. Stopping the game for him to catch his breath and figure out what happened to his ribs is acceptable. But guys falling to the ground because the other guy touched him is just stupid.
It is interesting that DJ brings up flopping in basketball because that really only became a problem once the European players started to make an impact on the league. I can’t recall flopping being an issue at all in the 80’s. Think about those Celtic or Lakers or Pistons squads. None of those guys flopped. But once the game became more international with players from soccer countries the amount of flopping and trying to draw fouls increased greatly.
I really do enjoy soccer at the highest level. I watched almost all of the Euro Cup in 2008 (unemployment has its benefits) and as these posts indicate I am a huge World Cup fan. I don’t think that I will ever be able to consider myself a knowledgeable fan but I can enjoy the game and the atmosphere. For me that is enough.
World Cup Update: My new favorite team for the Cup is Ghana due to their fans unfurling a banner that read “Sex Machines” during the game on Sunday. Apparently a rap group from Ghana has a hit song called, obviously, “Sex Machine” and this has provided the team with a theme song much like Chelsea Dagger for the Blackhawks or Don’t Stop Believing for the White Sox. However, I mainly like the fact that we can now refer to the team as the Ghana Sex Machines. That is what I love about the World Cup: you always find yourself cheering some small country because they seem to be really cool.
To DJ’s comment on yesterday’s post I really don’t mind ties in soccer and understand the importance of playing for a tie at times. The tie for the US was in effect a win: they stayed even with the best team in their group and stayed in control of their own destiny. Even low scoring doesn’t bother me because I understand that at the top level defenses are very good (though I wish there were more scoring opportunities.) Heck, low scoring makes set plays that much more exciting. What really drives me insane is the flopping which was in full display during the Italy – Paraguay game.
To be honest though I can’t recall anything that I would have called a flop during the US – England game. But in the Italy game today people were hitting the ground left and right. I saw a guy collapse to the ground holding his ankle which had done nothing other than kick the ball. I haven’t seen them break out the magic spray or carry someone off on a stretcher only for them to immediately return to the field like nothing happened. That is the part of the sport that people can’t stand. If you are hurt then you are hurt. Tim Howard got hurt on Saturday because he took a kick in the chest. Stopping the game for him to catch his breath and figure out what happened to his ribs is acceptable. But guys falling to the ground because the other guy touched him is just stupid.
It is interesting that DJ brings up flopping in basketball because that really only became a problem once the European players started to make an impact on the league. I can’t recall flopping being an issue at all in the 80’s. Think about those Celtic or Lakers or Pistons squads. None of those guys flopped. But once the game became more international with players from soccer countries the amount of flopping and trying to draw fouls increased greatly.
I really do enjoy soccer at the highest level. I watched almost all of the Euro Cup in 2008 (unemployment has its benefits) and as these posts indicate I am a huge World Cup fan. I don’t think that I will ever be able to consider myself a knowledgeable fan but I can enjoy the game and the atmosphere. For me that is enough.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
The slightly less than beautiful game
There are a lot of aspects of soccer that American fans just do not like. Things that go against what we believe in as sports fans. The top four that I can think of are 1) foreigners, 2) tight shorts, 3) lack of commercial interruptions and 4) the whole “let’s all roll around on the ground in horrible agony only to get up in two minutes and act like nothing has happened” bit. But if there is one item to add to this list it is ties.
Think about it in terms of major sports. Baseball (other than the All Star Game under Bud Selig) cannot end in a tie. Football (except for rare regular season occasions) cannot end in a tie. Basketball, golf and hockey all have rules to prevent tie games. But in soccer a tie game is considered to be a common and often preferable result. This goes against the grain of American culture as a tie is like kissing your sister, which unless your relationship is like Angelina Jolie and her brother probably isn’t a good thing.
Except that I was damn happy to get a tie against England on Saturday. The game started off like most US games in the World Cup do: with the other team immediately racing down the field and scoring. For some reason the Americans always think that the feeling out part of the first few minutes of the game assumes that the other team won’t try to score. That always leaves us chasing and we are horrible at it. Luckily we had a play happen that a) was incredibly lucky and b) always surprises me that you don’t see more of.
Dempsey’s goal was the damndest thing I ever saw because it was even more of a lucky shot than Kane’s cup winning goal on Wednesday night. He shot it straight at the goalie and it hit him right on the hands and then squirted away and he could only look in horror as the ball got behind him and into the goal. It is going to be one of the most memorable images of the World Cup: the England goalie looking on in horror as he realizes that he has just made one of the biggest blunders in ages.
But here is what surprises me about why it doesn’t happen more. Not that I expect goalies to flub shots but I cannot figure out why players simply don’t take more shots. Dempsey took the shot because he had an open look and there was nothing else for him to do but shoot. What you typically see are guys driving down the flanks and having a look at the goal and instead of shooting trying to pass the ball across six guys to the center. If the pass connects then it is typically an unstoppable goal. But almost all of the time the pass doesn’t connect. It’s off target or a defender gets there or the goalie cuts it off. If you shoot though at least something could happen. I never quite understand why guys just aren’t always firing straight at the keeper.
Still, all the US has to do now is play the way they should play and beat (or at least tie) Slovenia and then beat Algeria and we are through to the next round. And that is all that I am hoping for from this squad.
Best of 120 Minutes: There are desert island songs and then there are songs that make you want to knock down walls and break stuff. This is one of the latter songs. Smashing Pumpkins. The name says it all.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Matt Nathanson “At the Point”
2) Black 47 “Live in New York City”
3) C. J. Chenier “The Big Squeeze”
4) Marshall Crenshaw “This is Easy: The Best of Marshall Crenshaw”
5) She and Him “Volume Two”
Think about it in terms of major sports. Baseball (other than the All Star Game under Bud Selig) cannot end in a tie. Football (except for rare regular season occasions) cannot end in a tie. Basketball, golf and hockey all have rules to prevent tie games. But in soccer a tie game is considered to be a common and often preferable result. This goes against the grain of American culture as a tie is like kissing your sister, which unless your relationship is like Angelina Jolie and her brother probably isn’t a good thing.
Except that I was damn happy to get a tie against England on Saturday. The game started off like most US games in the World Cup do: with the other team immediately racing down the field and scoring. For some reason the Americans always think that the feeling out part of the first few minutes of the game assumes that the other team won’t try to score. That always leaves us chasing and we are horrible at it. Luckily we had a play happen that a) was incredibly lucky and b) always surprises me that you don’t see more of.
Dempsey’s goal was the damndest thing I ever saw because it was even more of a lucky shot than Kane’s cup winning goal on Wednesday night. He shot it straight at the goalie and it hit him right on the hands and then squirted away and he could only look in horror as the ball got behind him and into the goal. It is going to be one of the most memorable images of the World Cup: the England goalie looking on in horror as he realizes that he has just made one of the biggest blunders in ages.
But here is what surprises me about why it doesn’t happen more. Not that I expect goalies to flub shots but I cannot figure out why players simply don’t take more shots. Dempsey took the shot because he had an open look and there was nothing else for him to do but shoot. What you typically see are guys driving down the flanks and having a look at the goal and instead of shooting trying to pass the ball across six guys to the center. If the pass connects then it is typically an unstoppable goal. But almost all of the time the pass doesn’t connect. It’s off target or a defender gets there or the goalie cuts it off. If you shoot though at least something could happen. I never quite understand why guys just aren’t always firing straight at the keeper.
Still, all the US has to do now is play the way they should play and beat (or at least tie) Slovenia and then beat Algeria and we are through to the next round. And that is all that I am hoping for from this squad.
Best of 120 Minutes: There are desert island songs and then there are songs that make you want to knock down walls and break stuff. This is one of the latter songs. Smashing Pumpkins. The name says it all.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Matt Nathanson “At the Point”
2) Black 47 “Live in New York City”
3) C. J. Chenier “The Big Squeeze”
4) Marshall Crenshaw “This is Easy: The Best of Marshall Crenshaw”
5) She and Him “Volume Two”
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Commit to the Indian and good things happen
We won the Stanley Cup! We won the Stanley Cup! And we, uh, get Lindsay Lohan along with it. It’s not clear why but apparently this is now in the bylaws or something.
(I must admit this is one of my favorite completely non-sensical pictures of all time.)
Obviously I didn’t post last night since I was too busy celebrating the Blackhawks winning the Stanley Cup in the time honored Chicago way of rioting and looting. Sadly, since I was in Delaware and there weren’t any other fans around it was just me and in that case it was probably less of a raucous celebration getting out of hand and more of a one man crime spree. Do you know how hard it is to flip a car over by yourself?
(Sigh. I missed not having access to any Chicago channels for this championship. Every victory comes with dedicated riot coverage. That said, after being in New Orleans when the Saints won the Super Bowl I think I have seen the biggest celebration ever.)
Some thoughts on the game. I was pretty confident that the Hawks were going to win it though it drove me insane when they came out for the third period playing not to lose. They did the hockey equivalent of the prevent defense which of course wasn’t going to work. They still hadn’t quite found their rhythm in overtime when Kane took what was just a weird shot that went in and no one really noticed. It was a strange broken play and Kane had an open look at the net and nothing else to do so he took the shot and it snuck through. The announcers blew the call though to be honest I wasn’t sure it was a goal until I saw the replay.
It is amazing to get to see the Hawks win the Stanley Cup. I hate the fact that people say that they are historically “one of the NHL’s worst franchises” because that is entirely not true. For decades they were one of the league’s better franchises that just could never get over the hump (I think Dino Ciccarelli’s entire career consisted of him screwing over Blackhawk teams.) In the mid-90’s they pretty much gutted the team though and that led to the really bad decade. Still, this is a team that I have always cheered and played as in video games and it is great to see them win it all. Now that I have seen the Bears, Bulls, White Sox and Blackhawks win titles in my lifetime I can even bring myself to root for the Cubs to win one eventually. Just as long as they admit all the other teams got there first.
I also want to give my thoughts on Jeremy Roenick crying at the end of the broadcast. People are getting on him for crying either because a) he is a broadcaster, b) he is a hockey player or c) he played for both teams in his career so why the hell he is happy that one won and not the other? Even though JR can be a bit of a prick at times and he had a bit of a hatred for the Hawks after the team legitimately kicked him to the curb I really think that this was true emotion that he was showing. He never won the Cup and his team was the one who was supposed to bring it to Chicago. Moreover, no matter where he went I think that he always considered himself a Blackhawk. That was the team that got his career started and the fans who were fully behind him. I really think he viewed the moment as a former player and as a fan; his team finally won the Stanley Cup.
That is it for tonight. I just want to mention that Charlie Weis now gets to state that he beat USC and that the Bush Push never happened. Our losing streak against them is history! We won the game of the century! What a great 24 hours in sports.
(I must admit this is one of my favorite completely non-sensical pictures of all time.)
Obviously I didn’t post last night since I was too busy celebrating the Blackhawks winning the Stanley Cup in the time honored Chicago way of rioting and looting. Sadly, since I was in Delaware and there weren’t any other fans around it was just me and in that case it was probably less of a raucous celebration getting out of hand and more of a one man crime spree. Do you know how hard it is to flip a car over by yourself?
(Sigh. I missed not having access to any Chicago channels for this championship. Every victory comes with dedicated riot coverage. That said, after being in New Orleans when the Saints won the Super Bowl I think I have seen the biggest celebration ever.)
Some thoughts on the game. I was pretty confident that the Hawks were going to win it though it drove me insane when they came out for the third period playing not to lose. They did the hockey equivalent of the prevent defense which of course wasn’t going to work. They still hadn’t quite found their rhythm in overtime when Kane took what was just a weird shot that went in and no one really noticed. It was a strange broken play and Kane had an open look at the net and nothing else to do so he took the shot and it snuck through. The announcers blew the call though to be honest I wasn’t sure it was a goal until I saw the replay.
It is amazing to get to see the Hawks win the Stanley Cup. I hate the fact that people say that they are historically “one of the NHL’s worst franchises” because that is entirely not true. For decades they were one of the league’s better franchises that just could never get over the hump (I think Dino Ciccarelli’s entire career consisted of him screwing over Blackhawk teams.) In the mid-90’s they pretty much gutted the team though and that led to the really bad decade. Still, this is a team that I have always cheered and played as in video games and it is great to see them win it all. Now that I have seen the Bears, Bulls, White Sox and Blackhawks win titles in my lifetime I can even bring myself to root for the Cubs to win one eventually. Just as long as they admit all the other teams got there first.
I also want to give my thoughts on Jeremy Roenick crying at the end of the broadcast. People are getting on him for crying either because a) he is a broadcaster, b) he is a hockey player or c) he played for both teams in his career so why the hell he is happy that one won and not the other? Even though JR can be a bit of a prick at times and he had a bit of a hatred for the Hawks after the team legitimately kicked him to the curb I really think that this was true emotion that he was showing. He never won the Cup and his team was the one who was supposed to bring it to Chicago. Moreover, no matter where he went I think that he always considered himself a Blackhawk. That was the team that got his career started and the fans who were fully behind him. I really think he viewed the moment as a former player and as a fan; his team finally won the Stanley Cup.
That is it for tonight. I just want to mention that Charlie Weis now gets to state that he beat USC and that the Bush Push never happened. Our losing streak against them is history! We won the game of the century! What a great 24 hours in sports.
Tuesday, June 08, 2010
The nation without a team
Lindsay Lohan Alert: This is a message from the Lindsay Lohan Emergency Broadcasting System. At an MTV Movie Awards party over the weekend Lindsay’s SCRAM bracelet (which monitors if she has ingested any alcohol) went off and apparently not only does it send a message to the probation officer it also goes off with flashing lights just to make sure everyone notices. Thus she has once again violated her probation and must face a judge. As a result we are activating Lindsay Def Con Status 3. Safehouses have been prepped around the country to insure that our Beloved will not fall into the clutches of the police. For the sake of our nation, our Lindsay must remain free.
(That said, who the hell invited her to an MTV Movie Awards party? And who in their right mind when on probation for cocaine possession and a DUI would attend such a party while wearing an alcohol monitoring bracelet? Hell, the thing would probably go off just by being in the room. And shouldn’t you have to actually be, you know, in movies to attend a movie awards show?)
On another front, I kind of touched on this in my World Cup preview but I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how some countries are good at sports while others are just horrible. Now if you consider the fact that soccer is about as close to a universal sport as we have then the best nations at soccer should either be a) highly developed so that they can fund the best programs or b) the largest so that they have the best talent pool to choose from. However, while places like Chile and North Korea make the field China and India do not. In fact, they are nowhere near fielding a team that could make the cup. With a billion people each in their respective countries you’d think they could find a couple of dozen people who could kick a ball.
Even more amazing is the fact that India is just abysmal at sports. India won three medals in the 2008 Summer Olympics. For a point of reference, the Glorious Republic of Kazakhstan won 13. Mongolia won 4. Trinidad and Tobago won 2 which isn’t bad for a nation of 1.3 million. If India won at the same rate as Trinidad and Tobago they would have netted roughly 2,000 medals. This brings up the fascinating question of “Why can’t people from India play sports?”
You have a billion people in the nation. You’d think that a couple of them would at least be fast, or could lift weights or throw a javelin. Sheer numbers alone would seem to make that a likelihood. Yet for the life of me I cannot think of a single sports star from their country. Ok, I know that they have a top cricket team and they use their history as a former British colony for their love of that sport. But then why aren’t they successful in soccer or rugby? It is amazing to think that a nation that is going to be at the forefront of the 21st century has absolutely no interest or capacity at the modern sports culture.
If anyone has any thoughts on this I would like to hear them. When you are online with tech support feel free to ask them about what their favorite sport is. Let us solve this mystery of the ages.
(That said, who the hell invited her to an MTV Movie Awards party? And who in their right mind when on probation for cocaine possession and a DUI would attend such a party while wearing an alcohol monitoring bracelet? Hell, the thing would probably go off just by being in the room. And shouldn’t you have to actually be, you know, in movies to attend a movie awards show?)
On another front, I kind of touched on this in my World Cup preview but I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how some countries are good at sports while others are just horrible. Now if you consider the fact that soccer is about as close to a universal sport as we have then the best nations at soccer should either be a) highly developed so that they can fund the best programs or b) the largest so that they have the best talent pool to choose from. However, while places like Chile and North Korea make the field China and India do not. In fact, they are nowhere near fielding a team that could make the cup. With a billion people each in their respective countries you’d think they could find a couple of dozen people who could kick a ball.
Even more amazing is the fact that India is just abysmal at sports. India won three medals in the 2008 Summer Olympics. For a point of reference, the Glorious Republic of Kazakhstan won 13. Mongolia won 4. Trinidad and Tobago won 2 which isn’t bad for a nation of 1.3 million. If India won at the same rate as Trinidad and Tobago they would have netted roughly 2,000 medals. This brings up the fascinating question of “Why can’t people from India play sports?”
You have a billion people in the nation. You’d think that a couple of them would at least be fast, or could lift weights or throw a javelin. Sheer numbers alone would seem to make that a likelihood. Yet for the life of me I cannot think of a single sports star from their country. Ok, I know that they have a top cricket team and they use their history as a former British colony for their love of that sport. But then why aren’t they successful in soccer or rugby? It is amazing to think that a nation that is going to be at the forefront of the 21st century has absolutely no interest or capacity at the modern sports culture.
If anyone has any thoughts on this I would like to hear them. When you are online with tech support feel free to ask them about what their favorite sport is. Let us solve this mystery of the ages.
Monday, June 07, 2010
World Cup Preview Part Two
Monday Weigh In: Clocked in at 207.5 pounds this week which is down a pound from last week. While I am a little annoyed that I am not making more progress (I would love it if one workout would result in my being in perfect shape) I am now seeing several weeks of losing that pound a week that I am aiming for. I still think that I can do better but the wonders of actually paying attention to portion size and getting fit is beginning to pay off.
Ok, time to finish off the World Cup preview. And be thankful that last night I didn’t use my Ghanareans pun.
Group E
Teams: Netherlands, Denmark, Japan, Cameroon
Predicted to move on: Netherlands, Cameroon
Thoughts: In what is always confusing the Netherlands are the Dutch and Denmark are the Danes. The Danes are not the Dutch though for what it is worth. You can always tell the Dutch due to the fact that they are always wearing Orange (and I’m talking University of Illinois level orange) and they are typically winning. If you want to cheer for a small European country with liberal drug laws this is your best choice. I’m pulling for Cameroon to sneak into the second round based solely on the fact that they are referred to as “The Indomitable Lions of Cameroon”. I’m not making that up; it is the official team name. Compare that to the US which is known as, “The Men’s National Team.” Japan is pretty much just happy to be here and the Denmark team would much rather be playing with legos.
Group F:
Teams: Italy, Paraguay, New Zealand, Slovakia
Predicted to move on: Italy, Slovakia
Thoughts: Defending champion Italy gets a really easy draw as they should walk through the group. That said, Italy has a history of forgetting to show up for its first few games so there is a chance that anything could happen. The Italian team is best known for their blue jerseys, fiery tempers, and tendency to smoke while playing. I’ll cheer for Slovakia because my Czech squad didn’t make it so I’ll pull for our former countrymates. Paraguay is best known for having Ascencion as its capital or possibly Montevideo. Seriously, do we need both a Paraguay and a Uruguay? Can’t we just merge those countries into one and make all of our lives easier? If you live in a major city I would recommend finding the Kiwi bar to watch the New Zealand games. Not because you’ll be cheering the winner but mainly because Kiwis are really, really cool.
Group G:
Teams: Brazil, North Korea, Ivory Coast, Portugal
Predicted to move on: Brazil, Portugal
Thoughts: Glorious leader predicts great success for North Korea! Other nations forfeit games before taking field! Rumors that entire team defected upon landing entirely untrue! Possibility that poor performance will lead to invasion of South Korea quite high! I’m not kidding on the last one. I could actually see that happening.
Anyway, it is tradition in the World Cup that one group be known as “The Group of Death”. Since the groups aren’t seeded in the traditional sense one group always tends to get overloaded with top teams. That happened with this group as you have traditional powers Brazil and Portugal competing against up and comer Ivory Coast, which has the home continent advantage. Sadly, Ivory Coast’s best player broke his arm last week, which for some reason means he won’t be able to play. I don’t understand that given that you can’t use your hands but that means that Brazil and Portugal should move on. This is still the most interesting group to watch though just because no one has a clue what the North Korean team is going to be like.
Group H
Teams: Spain, Switzerland, Honduras, Chile
Predicted to move on: Spain, Switzerland
Thoughts: Spain is one of the favorites for the World Cup and I’d expect them to make the knock out stage. However, this is Spain that we are talking about and if there is one team that chokes on a regular basis it is the Spanish. I mean, they literally take siestas during games. Honduras is in the Cup (while countries like China and India are not) and that in and of itself should leave you stunned. Come on, can you think of a category where Honduras would be considered one of the top 32 countries in anything? Chile has a chance but I expect the Swiss with their clockwork precision and complete neutrality to get the second spot.
Ok, time to finish off the World Cup preview. And be thankful that last night I didn’t use my Ghanareans pun.
Group E
Teams: Netherlands, Denmark, Japan, Cameroon
Predicted to move on: Netherlands, Cameroon
Thoughts: In what is always confusing the Netherlands are the Dutch and Denmark are the Danes. The Danes are not the Dutch though for what it is worth. You can always tell the Dutch due to the fact that they are always wearing Orange (and I’m talking University of Illinois level orange) and they are typically winning. If you want to cheer for a small European country with liberal drug laws this is your best choice. I’m pulling for Cameroon to sneak into the second round based solely on the fact that they are referred to as “The Indomitable Lions of Cameroon”. I’m not making that up; it is the official team name. Compare that to the US which is known as, “The Men’s National Team.” Japan is pretty much just happy to be here and the Denmark team would much rather be playing with legos.
Group F:
Teams: Italy, Paraguay, New Zealand, Slovakia
Predicted to move on: Italy, Slovakia
Thoughts: Defending champion Italy gets a really easy draw as they should walk through the group. That said, Italy has a history of forgetting to show up for its first few games so there is a chance that anything could happen. The Italian team is best known for their blue jerseys, fiery tempers, and tendency to smoke while playing. I’ll cheer for Slovakia because my Czech squad didn’t make it so I’ll pull for our former countrymates. Paraguay is best known for having Ascencion as its capital or possibly Montevideo. Seriously, do we need both a Paraguay and a Uruguay? Can’t we just merge those countries into one and make all of our lives easier? If you live in a major city I would recommend finding the Kiwi bar to watch the New Zealand games. Not because you’ll be cheering the winner but mainly because Kiwis are really, really cool.
Group G:
Teams: Brazil, North Korea, Ivory Coast, Portugal
Predicted to move on: Brazil, Portugal
Thoughts: Glorious leader predicts great success for North Korea! Other nations forfeit games before taking field! Rumors that entire team defected upon landing entirely untrue! Possibility that poor performance will lead to invasion of South Korea quite high! I’m not kidding on the last one. I could actually see that happening.
Anyway, it is tradition in the World Cup that one group be known as “The Group of Death”. Since the groups aren’t seeded in the traditional sense one group always tends to get overloaded with top teams. That happened with this group as you have traditional powers Brazil and Portugal competing against up and comer Ivory Coast, which has the home continent advantage. Sadly, Ivory Coast’s best player broke his arm last week, which for some reason means he won’t be able to play. I don’t understand that given that you can’t use your hands but that means that Brazil and Portugal should move on. This is still the most interesting group to watch though just because no one has a clue what the North Korean team is going to be like.
Group H
Teams: Spain, Switzerland, Honduras, Chile
Predicted to move on: Spain, Switzerland
Thoughts: Spain is one of the favorites for the World Cup and I’d expect them to make the knock out stage. However, this is Spain that we are talking about and if there is one team that chokes on a regular basis it is the Spanish. I mean, they literally take siestas during games. Honduras is in the Cup (while countries like China and India are not) and that in and of itself should leave you stunned. Come on, can you think of a category where Honduras would be considered one of the top 32 countries in anything? Chile has a chance but I expect the Swiss with their clockwork precision and complete neutrality to get the second spot.
Sunday, June 06, 2010
World Cup Preview Part One
Alright, it is time to preview the World Cup. This marks the three weeks every four years that we actually care about soccer (six weeks for those of us who find the Euro Cup moderately exciting.) This should be a fun preview as I only moderately follow world soccer which makes me a better judge of the competition than 98 percent of the people in America. I’ll go through the first four groups tonight and the second four groups tomorrow.
Group A:
Teams: South Africa, Mexico, Uruguay, France
Predicted to move on: Mexico, France
Thoughts: South Africa is the host country and therefore should make the second round merely because every host country has made the second round since the dawn of time. However, this doesn’t take into account the fact that South Africa isn’t that good of a team. I give them a decent chance though of sneaking past France for the second spot given that France shouldn’t even be in the tournament due to a missed handball call in the game versus Ireland. A call that thus removes the possibility of the reigniting of the classic Ireland – Uruguay rivalry. Uruguay is best known for its capital city of Montevideo. Or possibly Ascencion. Basically Uruguay is a country that should just change its name given all of the snickering at the United Nations. Anyway, Mexico isn’t as good as it used to be but still should be able to advance. Rather weak group, which is probably intentional in order to give the host country the best possible shot.
Group B
Teams: Argentina, Nigeria, South Korea, Greece
Predicted to move on: Argentina, Nigeria
Thoughts: Argentina is coached by national hero Diego Maradonna who celebrated his retirement from the beautiful game by apparently eating every single animal in the country. Dude is freaking huge now. I mean when he hangs out around the stadium he hangs out around the stadium. Still, while his coaching is suspect they clearly have the most talent here. The second spot is a bit of a toss up between Nigeria and South Korea. I’m going to give the nod to Nigeria due to their home continent advantage and the fact that they are historically a really fun squad to watch. South Korea is a much better soccer nation than you would ever expect. I don’t expect much from the Greece squad as most of them will be spending the game waving metal detectors over the field in the hopes of picking up scrap metal to sell. That is assuming that the country can afford the airfare to send the team down there in the first place.
Group C
Teams: England, United States, Algeria, Slovenia
Predicted to move on: England, United States
Thoughts: USA! USA! USA! Or more accurately, “Yay, we drew a pool where we can legitimately make it through.” We should be able to beat Algeria and either beat or draw against Slovenia and that will be enough to move on. I even think that we could draw against England (win if things got really wacky) but for the most part we are the second best team in the group. If we play to our talent, which for this team is never a guarantee, we’ll move on. England will have its eyes on David Beckham even though I don’t think he is on the squad. I just assume that there is a BBC camera crew following David Beckham at all times. Algeria is just happy to be here and Slovenia is hoping that the World Cup allows for a) someone to be able locate the country on a map and b) people to realize that they are not the same as Slovakia.
Group D:
Teams: Germany, Australia, Serbia, Ghana
Predicted to move on: Germany, Serbia
Thoughts: Germany plays soccer like they make cars or cook: methodical, precise and without any emotion or style whatsoever. It is like watching a group of accountants. They are some of the best accountants in the world and can beat any other group of accountants but still they’re a bunch of accountants. Serbia and Australia is an interesting little matchup but I think that Serbia is just going to be a little more experienced down in the trenches so to speak. I will say that of all the teams I’d like to go out drinking with the Australian team mainly because, well, they are a bunch of Aussies. Always a good time with them. Ghana just isn’t Ghana make it through. Get it?
Best of 120 Minutes: Given that I have the Stanley Cup going on in the background I figured that I would play my favorite hockey music video featuring Soul Asylum.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) The Jayhawks “Sound of Lies”
2) U2 “Under a Blood Red Sky”
3) R.E.M. “Automatic for the People”
4) Josh Rouse “Nashwille”
5) Counting Crows “August and Everything After”
Group A:
Teams: South Africa, Mexico, Uruguay, France
Predicted to move on: Mexico, France
Thoughts: South Africa is the host country and therefore should make the second round merely because every host country has made the second round since the dawn of time. However, this doesn’t take into account the fact that South Africa isn’t that good of a team. I give them a decent chance though of sneaking past France for the second spot given that France shouldn’t even be in the tournament due to a missed handball call in the game versus Ireland. A call that thus removes the possibility of the reigniting of the classic Ireland – Uruguay rivalry. Uruguay is best known for its capital city of Montevideo. Or possibly Ascencion. Basically Uruguay is a country that should just change its name given all of the snickering at the United Nations. Anyway, Mexico isn’t as good as it used to be but still should be able to advance. Rather weak group, which is probably intentional in order to give the host country the best possible shot.
Group B
Teams: Argentina, Nigeria, South Korea, Greece
Predicted to move on: Argentina, Nigeria
Thoughts: Argentina is coached by national hero Diego Maradonna who celebrated his retirement from the beautiful game by apparently eating every single animal in the country. Dude is freaking huge now. I mean when he hangs out around the stadium he hangs out around the stadium. Still, while his coaching is suspect they clearly have the most talent here. The second spot is a bit of a toss up between Nigeria and South Korea. I’m going to give the nod to Nigeria due to their home continent advantage and the fact that they are historically a really fun squad to watch. South Korea is a much better soccer nation than you would ever expect. I don’t expect much from the Greece squad as most of them will be spending the game waving metal detectors over the field in the hopes of picking up scrap metal to sell. That is assuming that the country can afford the airfare to send the team down there in the first place.
Group C
Teams: England, United States, Algeria, Slovenia
Predicted to move on: England, United States
Thoughts: USA! USA! USA! Or more accurately, “Yay, we drew a pool where we can legitimately make it through.” We should be able to beat Algeria and either beat or draw against Slovenia and that will be enough to move on. I even think that we could draw against England (win if things got really wacky) but for the most part we are the second best team in the group. If we play to our talent, which for this team is never a guarantee, we’ll move on. England will have its eyes on David Beckham even though I don’t think he is on the squad. I just assume that there is a BBC camera crew following David Beckham at all times. Algeria is just happy to be here and Slovenia is hoping that the World Cup allows for a) someone to be able locate the country on a map and b) people to realize that they are not the same as Slovakia.
Group D:
Teams: Germany, Australia, Serbia, Ghana
Predicted to move on: Germany, Serbia
Thoughts: Germany plays soccer like they make cars or cook: methodical, precise and without any emotion or style whatsoever. It is like watching a group of accountants. They are some of the best accountants in the world and can beat any other group of accountants but still they’re a bunch of accountants. Serbia and Australia is an interesting little matchup but I think that Serbia is just going to be a little more experienced down in the trenches so to speak. I will say that of all the teams I’d like to go out drinking with the Australian team mainly because, well, they are a bunch of Aussies. Always a good time with them. Ghana just isn’t Ghana make it through. Get it?
Best of 120 Minutes: Given that I have the Stanley Cup going on in the background I figured that I would play my favorite hockey music video featuring Soul Asylum.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) The Jayhawks “Sound of Lies”
2) U2 “Under a Blood Red Sky”
3) R.E.M. “Automatic for the People”
4) Josh Rouse “Nashwille”
5) Counting Crows “August and Everything After”
Thursday, June 03, 2010
The newest health food: deep fried spinach
So as part of my health kick I picked up some pre-sliced apples at the grocery store in order to have a healthy snack. Apples because I like apples and pre-sliced because I am not allowed to handle sharp objects. Anyway, I was quite surprised when I opened the package to find that each package of apples comes with a small container of caramel. If you want to understand the reasoning behind the obesity crisis in America this would be a good place to start. We can’t even sell apples in the grocery store without bundling them with a container of pure sugar.
I’m going to be really torn as to what to watch on television tomorrow night. We will have on simultaneously game four of the Stanley Cup Finals and the finals of the National Spelling Bee. It is so tough choosing between watching my Blackhawks and watching home school kids freak out on national television. I did check out the spelling bee semifinalists and it looks like the Kansas squad got wiped out early this year after winning it all last year. There is a surprising number of foreigners including a kid from New Zealand and another from Jamaica. Exactly how they qualified for the “National” Spelling Bee is more than a bit confusing.
(My pick to win? Tim Ruiter out of Virginia. He looks like I did when I was his age, was runner up last year and listed They Might Be Giants as his favorite band. He is the king of the home schoolers.)
And yes, as of today we are down to one Golden Girl. I assume that they had a tontine running and Betty White now inherits something like twenty million dollars and all DVD revenues. I could go into a discussion of the importance of the Golden Girls but I would rather mention that if they continue making Sex and the City movies at some point they will naturally become the next generation of the Golden Girls. To be quite honest they could just wait ten years, call it The New Golden Girls and not have to change the cast at all. It would probably make for a much more interesting show than their current movie.
That is all for tonight. I’ll post a few things over the weekend (some comedy bits that I’ve been playing around with that may or may not be funny) and then I will start up my World Cup preview. Are you ready for some soccer? It’s everything I love about sports. Athletes with funny names, ethnic stereotypes and no competition of any kind. Should be fun. Enjoy the weekend everyone.
I’m going to be really torn as to what to watch on television tomorrow night. We will have on simultaneously game four of the Stanley Cup Finals and the finals of the National Spelling Bee. It is so tough choosing between watching my Blackhawks and watching home school kids freak out on national television. I did check out the spelling bee semifinalists and it looks like the Kansas squad got wiped out early this year after winning it all last year. There is a surprising number of foreigners including a kid from New Zealand and another from Jamaica. Exactly how they qualified for the “National” Spelling Bee is more than a bit confusing.
(My pick to win? Tim Ruiter out of Virginia. He looks like I did when I was his age, was runner up last year and listed They Might Be Giants as his favorite band. He is the king of the home schoolers.)
And yes, as of today we are down to one Golden Girl. I assume that they had a tontine running and Betty White now inherits something like twenty million dollars and all DVD revenues. I could go into a discussion of the importance of the Golden Girls but I would rather mention that if they continue making Sex and the City movies at some point they will naturally become the next generation of the Golden Girls. To be quite honest they could just wait ten years, call it The New Golden Girls and not have to change the cast at all. It would probably make for a much more interesting show than their current movie.
That is all for tonight. I’ll post a few things over the weekend (some comedy bits that I’ve been playing around with that may or may not be funny) and then I will start up my World Cup preview. Are you ready for some soccer? It’s everything I love about sports. Athletes with funny names, ethnic stereotypes and no competition of any kind. Should be fun. Enjoy the weekend everyone.
Wednesday, June 02, 2010
Help us Aquaman, you're our only hope
Very quick post tonight as it is late and I am pissed off after watching the Hawks lose. In thinking about the oil spill in the gulf (or oil leak or whatever the hell you call oil gushing out of the ocean floor) it dawned on me that this is the first time in human history that if you had the ability to call upon one superhero to save the day that superhero would be Aquaman. Yes, for once we really could use Aquaman’s help.
There is no more useless hero in the history of comic books than Aquaman. His superpower is that he swims really, really well. Oh, and he also talks to fish which is really useful if you ever wanted to know what fish talk about. I assume it is mainly “You ever notice that sometimes there is just this worm floating in the water and when you bite it you suddenly get this jagged metal hook stuck in your mouth? Don’t you hate it when that happens?”
(By the way, can Aquaman talk to dolphins given that they are not technically fish? I don’t know if this was ever covered in the books or in Superfriends.)
Anyway, after a month and a half of failed attempts at capping the well you suddenly realize how sometimes you really just wish that you can send a person down there to do the job. Get rid of the robots and the hoses and the submersibles and all of the technology and just send down people with hands and brains and have them figure out how to fix it. Sadly it isn’t going to work that way and it will still be weeks or months before the situation is fixed. To think that if we had the guy in the orange and green costume none of this would be an issue.
There is no more useless hero in the history of comic books than Aquaman. His superpower is that he swims really, really well. Oh, and he also talks to fish which is really useful if you ever wanted to know what fish talk about. I assume it is mainly “You ever notice that sometimes there is just this worm floating in the water and when you bite it you suddenly get this jagged metal hook stuck in your mouth? Don’t you hate it when that happens?”
(By the way, can Aquaman talk to dolphins given that they are not technically fish? I don’t know if this was ever covered in the books or in Superfriends.)
Anyway, after a month and a half of failed attempts at capping the well you suddenly realize how sometimes you really just wish that you can send a person down there to do the job. Get rid of the robots and the hoses and the submersibles and all of the technology and just send down people with hands and brains and have them figure out how to fix it. Sadly it isn’t going to work that way and it will still be weeks or months before the situation is fixed. To think that if we had the guy in the orange and green costume none of this would be an issue.
Tuesday, June 01, 2010
You could have made a good Hopper / Coleman buddy cop movie
Tuesday Weigh In: One day late due to the holiday weekend taking over my schedule but I weighed in at 208.5 pounds tonight, down a pound from last week. Really happy with this as I made some serious changes last week (greatly cut down on the snacking, worked out a lot) and have seen some results. In fact I was surprised that I didn’t see more but given that it was a holiday weekend the fact that I lost weight should be considered a positive. I just have to keep things moving in this direction.
Ok, I have a lot of points to talk about and there is no cohesion between them so I’ll just do this as a numbered list.
1) On my way to work this morning I saw a peacock walking down the side of the road. I am not making this up nor was I under the influence of any substance other than a granola bar. I am going to make the assumption that it escaped from somewhere unless peacocks are native to Delaware and no one bothered to inform me of this fact. You never expect to see a peacock on your way to work in the morning. Still better than the…
2) I swear that every day I drive to work I pass one if not more dead deer on the side of the road. One day I saw two right next to each other and it was clear that they were hit at the same time. There are few things more depressing than driving by Bambi lying on the side of the road. I know that it is just nature crossing paths with large motor vehicles but it does not make for a very happy drive.
3) Al and Tipper Gore are getting divorced after forty years of marriage. On the plus side there does not seem to be a bizarre sex scandal behind all of this. Just a couple that has grown apart over the years and have decided that it is best to separate. However, I’m just thinking that if you have made it through forty years together wouldn’t you feel that you might as well go to the end? I mean, just the paperwork alone would make me hang in there.
4) Dennis Hopper passed away this weekend. In my mind he will always be remembered for two roles: 1) the drunken assistant coach in Hoosiers and 2) the “It’s gotta be the shoes!” guy from the Nike ads in the nineties. In fact, I am hoping that when they put up his picture in the Oscar Memoriam section it is a still from one of these commercials. It is how Dennis Hopper should be remembered: As an out of control fan dressed as a referee sneaking into locker rooms to steal shoes.
5) We also lost Gary Coleman this weekend. As many people have already mentioned this means that we will never quite know what Willis was talking about. It also means that the Different Strokes curse is still in effect and whoever played Dudley should really up his insurance policies. To be honest, Gary Coleman deserved a better career than the one he got. He really was a talented comic actor but after playing the cute adorable kid he could never get any other roles, which is a bit of a shame. At some point his entire life became playing the role of Gary Coleman.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Sally Timms and John Langford “Songs of False Hopes and High Values”
2) The Handsome Family “Live at Schubas Tavern”
3) Lyle Lovett “Natural Forces”
4) Cat Power “The Greatest”
5) Continental Drifters “Vermillion”
Ok, I have a lot of points to talk about and there is no cohesion between them so I’ll just do this as a numbered list.
1) On my way to work this morning I saw a peacock walking down the side of the road. I am not making this up nor was I under the influence of any substance other than a granola bar. I am going to make the assumption that it escaped from somewhere unless peacocks are native to Delaware and no one bothered to inform me of this fact. You never expect to see a peacock on your way to work in the morning. Still better than the…
2) I swear that every day I drive to work I pass one if not more dead deer on the side of the road. One day I saw two right next to each other and it was clear that they were hit at the same time. There are few things more depressing than driving by Bambi lying on the side of the road. I know that it is just nature crossing paths with large motor vehicles but it does not make for a very happy drive.
3) Al and Tipper Gore are getting divorced after forty years of marriage. On the plus side there does not seem to be a bizarre sex scandal behind all of this. Just a couple that has grown apart over the years and have decided that it is best to separate. However, I’m just thinking that if you have made it through forty years together wouldn’t you feel that you might as well go to the end? I mean, just the paperwork alone would make me hang in there.
4) Dennis Hopper passed away this weekend. In my mind he will always be remembered for two roles: 1) the drunken assistant coach in Hoosiers and 2) the “It’s gotta be the shoes!” guy from the Nike ads in the nineties. In fact, I am hoping that when they put up his picture in the Oscar Memoriam section it is a still from one of these commercials. It is how Dennis Hopper should be remembered: As an out of control fan dressed as a referee sneaking into locker rooms to steal shoes.
5) We also lost Gary Coleman this weekend. As many people have already mentioned this means that we will never quite know what Willis was talking about. It also means that the Different Strokes curse is still in effect and whoever played Dudley should really up his insurance policies. To be honest, Gary Coleman deserved a better career than the one he got. He really was a talented comic actor but after playing the cute adorable kid he could never get any other roles, which is a bit of a shame. At some point his entire life became playing the role of Gary Coleman.
The five random CDs for the week:
1) Sally Timms and John Langford “Songs of False Hopes and High Values”
2) The Handsome Family “Live at Schubas Tavern”
3) Lyle Lovett “Natural Forces”
4) Cat Power “The Greatest”
5) Continental Drifters “Vermillion”
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