Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Help us Aquaman, you're our only hope

Very quick post tonight as it is late and I am pissed off after watching the Hawks lose. In thinking about the oil spill in the gulf (or oil leak or whatever the hell you call oil gushing out of the ocean floor) it dawned on me that this is the first time in human history that if you had the ability to call upon one superhero to save the day that superhero would be Aquaman. Yes, for once we really could use Aquaman’s help.

There is no more useless hero in the history of comic books than Aquaman. His superpower is that he swims really, really well. Oh, and he also talks to fish which is really useful if you ever wanted to know what fish talk about. I assume it is mainly “You ever notice that sometimes there is just this worm floating in the water and when you bite it you suddenly get this jagged metal hook stuck in your mouth? Don’t you hate it when that happens?”

(By the way, can Aquaman talk to dolphins given that they are not technically fish? I don’t know if this was ever covered in the books or in Superfriends.)
Anyway, after a month and a half of failed attempts at capping the well you suddenly realize how sometimes you really just wish that you can send a person down there to do the job. Get rid of the robots and the hoses and the submersibles and all of the technology and just send down people with hands and brains and have them figure out how to fix it. Sadly it isn’t going to work that way and it will still be weeks or months before the situation is fixed. To think that if we had the guy in the orange and green costume none of this would be an issue.

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